Why people seek for fun instead of commitment?

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Snowx3
@Snowx3
7 Years

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Posted by Pathos

Potentially cause they have given up on trying to have a relationship.

Or yes they may simply enjoy fun.


I guess it's ego thing too, being hurt or rejected etc

To me, it just doesn't make sense because this fun won't last a long time and is it like a thrill thing to chase someone for it?

Posted by La_Dolce_Vita_Scorpio

In my opinion, in this day and age there is a lot of choice available and when that happens most people think that what if someone better came along?

Fun or sex to be precise is a primal instinct, some need relationship for it whilst some don't see sex as emotional 🙂


That's so true! Even on reality shows such as Love Island it just proves that people always have their options opened when someone new comes along.

It also makes this easier for the person to struggle off their feelings for their potential "match" too.

Which is sad!

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Given up trying in my case and I feel I’ve been hurt enough times. Also not interested in marriage or kids so makes a serious relationship pointless.


But don't you ever feel lonely or tired just having to find someone to have fun with and not more? Fair enough about marriage and kids but just that certain type of company.

Posted by peachy06

Because I don't want to get married nor have kids. And in this day and age trust is gone.
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What about dating with someone without having the thoughts of marriage or kids? Like going with the flow as long as both are happy.
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Pathos
@Pathos
7 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by Snowx3

Posted by Pathos

Potentially cause they have given up on trying to have a relationship.

Or yes they may simply enjoy fun.


I guess it's ego thing too, being hurt or rejected etc

To me, it just doesn't make sense because this fun won't last a long time and is it like a thrill thing to chase someone for it?

Posted by La_Dolce_Vita_Scorpio

In my opinion, in this day and age there is a lot of choice available and when that happens most people think that what if someone better came along?

Fun or sex to be precise is a primal instinct, some need relationship for it whilst some don't see sex as emotional 🙂


That's so true! Even on reality shows such as Love Island it just proves that people always have their options opened when someone new comes along.

It also makes this easier for the person to struggle off their feelings for their potential "match" too.

Which is sad!

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Given up trying in my case and I feel I’ve been hurt enough times. Also not interested in marriage or kids so makes a serious relationship pointless.


But don't you ever feel lonely or tired just having to find someone to have fun with and not more? Fair enough about marriage and kids but just that certain type of company.

Posted by peachy06

Because I don't want to get married nor have kids. And in this day and age trust is gone.


What about dating with someone without having the thoughts of marriage or kids? Like going with the flow as long as both are happy.
click to expand


I agree it's difficult to trust these days cause there are so many potential partners and choices that no one puts the energy and time to commit to one.

Also younger people like in our 20s are encouraged to meet a lot of partners and experience things.
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Snowx3
@Snowx3
7 Years

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Posted by Ariqua

As simply as I can put it- the givers always end up with the takers and the givers get tired of giving and getting minimal in return.

At least that would be my case and if my current relationship doesn’t work out I’m going to be as selfish as possible. (Probably lying to myself. I don’t think I have the heart to be selfish but I definitely won’t commit to a serious traditional relationship for a long time)


I think it always going to be the case of someone getting hurt and wanting more. In your case, would you be devoted to this person (just seeing them) without having it having to be serious or would keep your options open?

Posted by Pathos

I agree it's difficult to trust these days cause there are so many potential partners and choices that no one puts the energy and time to commit to one.

Also younger people like in our 20s are encouraged to meet a lot of partners and experience things.


Yeah it's sad! Definitely hard to trust these days, one little thing happens you can turn around for a quick second and everything once there is completely gone. And soon find out, there on to their next move lol!

Posted by Berzerker

Pleasure for his own sake is foolish to me, is not bad, dont make you worst, is just foolish
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It's very foolish, but when does it ever end?

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Snowx3
@Snowx3
7 Years

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Posted by Lioness888

I think some are not in a position to settle down anyway.. financially or something

Some are avoiding the headache and demands that come with being in a relationship.

Others want a relationship, but they don't see relationship potential with you due to compatibility

Some are just emotionally unavailable and have commitment issues

Some just want to have fun while they're young and think about it when they're older

Others have been burned too many times to risk their heart again...

The list is probably huge. Whatever the reason, if you are looking for a relationship, find someone wanting one too. Set your expectations and standards in the begining and don't settle for less than you entered into.






I think I am just trying to understand more on this whole seeking fun thing. I came out a long term relationships of 7 years, like a year and half ago but I never thought to myself to jump right in to a new (long serious relationships) straight away. I do, obviously feel lonely and missing daily interactions but I just like to go with the flow.. just because I rather like to get to know someone and build a friendship.

I have not dated much so I would like to meet someone that I can feel connected too (not in a rushy way). But I have realised being on the dating scene a lot of people are too fast to jump in or just down for fun only.
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Snowx3
@Snowx3
7 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 98 · Topics: 11
Posted by Lioness888

Posted by Snowx3

Posted by Lioness888

I think some are not in a position to settle down anyway.. financially or something

Some are avoiding the headache and demands that come with being in a relationship.

Others want a relationship, but they don't see relationship potential with you due to compatibility

Some are just emotionally unavailable and have commitment issues

Some just want to have fun while they're young and think about it when they're older

Others have been burned too many times to risk their heart again...

The list is probably huge. Whatever the reason, if you are looking for a relationship, find someone wanting one too. Set your expectations and standards in the begining and don't settle for less than you entered into.






I think I am just trying to understand more on this whole seeking fun thing. I came out a long term relationships of 7 years, like a year and half ago but I never thought to myself to jump right in to a new (long serious relationships) straight away. I do, obviously feel lonely and missing daily interactions but I just like to go with the flow.. just because I rather like to get to know someone and build a friendship.

I have not dated much so I would like to meet someone that I can feel connected too (not in a rushy way). But I have realised being on the dating scene a lot of people are too fast to jump in or just down for fun only.


If you want to get to know someone.. then it's not just fun anymore. It's kind of serious i guess. Fwb is usually no emotional attachment. It's not a real friendship.
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It's weird because I see it different. It doesn't define anything to me that getting to network or meet new people (opposite sex) because at the end of the day, it just good company and nothing else needs to come out it.

I do, understand where you are coming from but I just don't understand how can people turn out this way.

We are all humans with feelings but how can one be so detached from it.
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Snowx3
@Snowx3
7 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 98 · Topics: 11
Posted by Lioness888

Posted by Snowx3

Posted by Lioness888

Posted by Snowx3

Posted by Lioness888

I think some are not in a position to settle down anyway.. financially or something

Some are avoiding the headache and demands that come with being in a relationship.

Others want a relationship, but they don't see relationship potential with you due to compatibility

Some are just emotionally unavailable and have commitment issues

Some just want to have fun while they're young and think about it when they're older

Others have been burned too many times to risk their heart again...

The list is probably huge. Whatever the reason, if you are looking for a relationship, find someone wanting one too. Set your expectations and standards in the begining and don't settle for less than you entered into.






I think I am just trying to understand more on this whole seeking fun thing. I came out a long term relationships of 7 years, like a year and half ago but I never thought to myself to jump right in to a new (long serious relationships) straight away. I do, obviously feel lonely and missing daily interactions but I just like to go with the flow.. just because I rather like to get to know someone and build a friendship.

I have not dated much so I would like to meet someone that I can feel connected too (not in a rushy way). But I have realised being on the dating scene a lot of people are too fast to jump in or just down for fun only.


If you want to get to know someone.. then it's not just fun anymore. It's kind of serious i guess. Fwb is usually no emotional attachment. It's not a real friendship.


It's weird because I see it different. It doesn't define anything to me that getting to network or meet new people (opposite sex) because at the end of the day, it just good company and nothing else needs to come out it.

I do, understand where you are coming from but I just don't understand how can people turn out this way.

We are all humans with feelings but how can one be so detached from it.




Because if there's an attachment people get hurt and then it's no longer just sex or a hook up. Getting to know someone means you want to form a bond or connection. That's what you do in relationships so the dynamics need to remain different with different boundaries
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I mean detached from their emotions, surely either side will have some sort of emotions towards it. I guess it's somewhere inside where you set the barrier and mask it.

Your right, everyone you ever talk to becomes a connection. Even it's a new friendship or someone you might have interest it just the way how you develop it.