Are all Scorpio Men so confusing?

Hi everyone,
I am new to the board. I have been dating, if you can call it that, a scorpio man for a few weeks now. We met online and instantly connected. Now I know online dating can always have its problems, been there, done that, worn the t-shirt as they say! But in this instance, we have a huge amount in common, i.e. work, interests, sexual appetites and more!
After a few days it got so intense we met up and it was wonderful. Instantly there was chemistry and we just clicked! We had a wonderful night, watching movies, eating great food, making love and the following day he ran me a bath, made me breakfast and fell asleep in my arms before I left to go home.
For the next few days we exchanged texts and phonecalls and everything was good. But I found he would go hot and cold on me very easily. For example, we haven't met up again in 3 weeks! He lives about 2 hours away from me. I know he is having a hard time with work, or lack of work, and that's very stressful and I am being as understanding as I can be. But it's kinda hard not to feel rejected.
When I say I will give it a break for a while until he sorts himself out he will say 'NO!' and will tell me not to throw it away, he is just in a bad place right now.
We have kinda organised to meet up this weekend but I have this awful feeling that it won't happen. I just feel like I am going to be let down again and while I want to understand the strange ways of this amazing scorpio man, I can't help but wonder, am I just putting myself in a position to be hurt? Or in time, will it really all be worth it?
Any advice would really help ladies... or guys even 🙂
JX

Thanks irishlibra and strangely... I am also an irish libran 🙂
JX

I certainly do 🙂 Us Librans can think too much I guess. Can I ask, have you had a realtionship with a scorpio?

lol well I would be very interested in hearing if you have similar experience with them. I mean, don't get me wrong... the chemistry is amazing and apparently that can be the case with librans and scorpios. I mean, I have felt chemistry with a guy before, but this is something else!

"I can't help but wonder, am I just putting myself in a position to be hurt? Or in time, will it really all be worth"

He told you "not to throw it away, he is just in a bad place right now" Listen to what he telling you. Don't second guess. Give this a chance. If your connection is all you say it is, have confidence in it.

You are so spot on irishlibra! He was engaged last year and it ended badly (he ended it). He is scared of getting hurt again. I really feel that he connects with me too and he is afraid to lose that, but afraid to have it too! As for the onion comment... that's exactly what he has said to me, that I will just have to peel the layers away until I find the real him! Everything that guy said to you at the store is so right and so much the scorpio man!
And pathfinder... thank you for the comment 🙂 I really want this to work. I can see so much in this man and when I look into his eyes I just don't want to look away (needless to say, he doesn't look away!). My heart skips a beat when I think about him and hear his voice... corny I know.
I guess I am just trying to understand him, because I don't want to throw away or destroy something that could be very special.

omg! you are totally like me! he told me he likes me because I am really sweet, yet very bad at time😉 lol And I really am trying not to put up with any BS! Today we chatted and has a good chuckle together on the phone, he teases me but I gave as good as I got which makes him laugh!
I don't think I have scorpio in my chart. I have been reading up a lot about scorpios though and have been amazed at how it is him to a T! I am so interested in hearing other peoples experiences with scorpio because I am finding it is similar to mine.
In the past I have had a couple of guys sleep with me and then act all interested but not and it fizzles out. I have just been so worried that this was the case with him.

it seems to be the real libran me that he likes... as we both know irishlibra, being irish and a libran kinda means you have a little bit of charm 😉

I know nothing about my chart. How do I find out, if you dont mind my asking?!

is there a website i can look up?

incognito— lol yes a little can you do pm on here?

am I just putting myself in a position to be hurt? Yes you are part of why that is....your mistaking chemistry as relationship or the possibility of a relationship, men and women differ on the meaning of how chemistry effects them. You are already feeling insecure inside which is a sign post of what is inevitably going to happen, you are making excuses for this man which is work, I haven't seen one woman yet come on dxp and NOT use work or lack of work as an excuse and at some point get dumped, NOTHING stops a man, not even work to be with the woman he wants, he will walk through fire and brimstone to be with her, if this guy isn't making much of an effort then you know he's not that into it. Men are better at making connections or what we call chemistry is because they have had plenty plenty practice with women, he's most likely dating other women, still practicing and feeding you these weak excuses why he can't see you. I would suggest dating men closer in your town and dating men that sincerely have the time to pursue and date you, this will keep you out of this anxious frustrating is he going to reject me mood and it will keep your self esteem and confidence up, if you sit around pining over a guy that is unavailable you are inviting mistreatment into your life.

Hi Tiki, thanks for your response, however I'm not sure you understand the complexities of the scorpio mind! I have been in a few situations, as you describe, when a guy is just not that into me... however, this situation is very different.
I don't think I am wrong to want to blieve in this man...
As for dating other men, I have offers and do go on other dates, but I just feel like I am leading other guys along because I have no real interest in them!

Yeah they are complex I will give them that but don't make the mistake that many women do on dxp and let chemistry make you fall for an UNAVAILABLE man, read around dxp and there are many woman doing this only to get dumped on and hurt b/c men view chemistry differently than women, women use chemistry as an excuse to throw away all inhibitions and it's simply not in your best interest to do that, if he wanted to be with you he would drive on fumes to come and see you, he's supposed to be the one going out of his way to have you in his life, if none of his ACTIONS is leaning towards having you in his life than none of it means anything and your creating and living in an imaginary relationship and he will disappoint you not because he's a scorpio but because he's a man that is making NO efforts towards being in your life.

he will come to see you even if he's broke and has $ 5 in his pocket he will buy ice cream and split it with you or take a long walk and hold your hand, he will throw away all stress just to spend a few minutes or hours being with you, this man will eventually disappear and come back when it's convienant for him because after all Jackie is holding out on that good good chemistry he fed her and as long as she feels chemistry I got an easy in, Jackie I forgot about Jackie, wonder what she's up to? Only to fade away again at some point, although you may not have any interest in the other men, they will come in handy when this guy flakes out...good luck Jackie

I hear you guys and I will take on board your advice, I really will. I guess I just want to believe that some people do genuinely need space and certainly, I know when I first started talking to him that's how I felt, I wanted to take my time with it, because I was insecure and I was worried about being let down again.
So I figure... as we are supposed to meet up this weekend, if that doesnt happen and there is another excuse, then I will have to let go!
🙂

I agree, actions do speak louder than words. So I have sent him a text, asking about this weekend... no response yet but I will keep you guys up to date.

Good comments, XfoosMe.

So true!

The only sign that really understands how a Scorpio works - is a Capricorn 🙂

"The only sign that really understands how a Scorpio works - is a Capricorn "

I'm not a capricorn, yet I understand my husband. In my opinion, the only way you will understand how anyone "works" is to spend as much time as possible with them and pay attention.

very true! I agree 100% pathfinder. And to update you all, after my initial post... I have not heard from my guy in 3 days and after 3 days of thinking and reading and wondering I realised something very important... noone has the right to make you feel so confused or expect you to hang around walking on eggshells while they figure themselves out or some other rubbish they will spout out! If he is into you, then he will be into you and you will know all about it, scorpio or not! I know in myself, I can't accept someone messing me around when all I have done is be honest and open. I deserve the same back in return. We all do 🙂
JX

Hey XFoosme, How is life now without your scorp in it? Has he just let go or is he still trying to keep you there?

OP - Yes...

Hey guys,
I feel much more in control now and realising and feeling that you deserve all of the good stuff you give out to a guy is a good feeling 🙂
Thank you all for the advice and kind words... these forums are definitely worth looking into if you are unsure about those scorps or otherwise!
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend - MWAH!
JX

May as well post my recent experience - as it sounds pretty similar to yours Jackie, well in that I met him online and he lives about an hour away from me.

Met up, got on like a house on fire and no joke - same mad sense of humour, could talk about nonsense for hours. Continued to meet up, neither with any expectations just enjoying each others company and having fun getting to know each other. Then he starts to text/call/message me more, like constantly. When can he see me again etc. gets me a Christmas present, is always asking my advice about the problems he's having at work/with family etc. there is nothing this guy isn't open about. Which is weird because everyone always goes on about how Scorps don't trust easily. But anyway, even little things when I'm at his, he has in my favourite ice-cream/drink you name it - like he's actually been listening to me.

Anyway, cue 3 months in - we've talked every single day and met up twice a week. Then he goes quiet. Nothing happens no argument or anything we've actually had a great date the night before we're getting to the point where we're connecting more emotionally, as in things are progressing.

So, he goes quiet, literally. No texts, isn't online for a few days etc. I think nothing of it, he's busy at work. When I do talk to him next though he seems different, can't put my finger on it but he just seems more reserved. But again I just put it down to the fact he has other things going on, don't think too much of it.

But this continues, and there is no talk of wanting to see me or when we'll meet up again. Nothing. After a while of this I am now thinking WTF? So I ask him, is everything ok because he seems a bit weird/off with me. His reply? I'm reading too much into it, he's just *floating* along and says something about how useless he is replying to texts (erm no you weren't for the first 3 months in fact it was YOU who text me all bloody day) and everything is fine. I don't buy it, but think maybe he just needs space. So I back off, I stop texting and when I'm online I don't message him. But I see him online, sometimes for hours - and he doesn't message me either. I feel like I am slowly being *phased out* so I attempt to initiate a conversation about it again - honestly it's so bad by this point I feel like I don't even know him - and again he says I'm reading too much into things and goes on about how frustrating it is him having to explain himself all the time!

He also says that he isn't looking for anything serious and that he thought he'd made the clear.

How angry do you think I am by this point? I mean seriously, who the f*ck does he think he is? I am of course by now quite appalled at his behaviour, because as far as I'm concerned the man has no balls. I don't even care what his reason is for backing off, whether it's because he was *scared* or getting too attached or if the novelty just wore off, it's how he acted that disgusts me. So the point is I've told him bolt, I have no time for game-players in my life or people who don't even have the guts to just come out and say "it's been fun but this isn't what I want anymore sorry" I mean really how hard is it?

All I'm saying is don't take any crap, why should we have to wait around and take all this bullshit while they work out how they feel and what they want?

Honestly I did it once with an Aqua, and I vowed never again.

Anyway, I just wanted to rant about that sorry. 🙂

Carry on.

Hi Thetis,

Wow, it seems like all of us are having very similar experiences with these scorpios! Scary!

If you ask me, its all BS! This back and forth, hot and cold, 'I'm scared', 'I'm unsure', 'I'm not ready' - rubbish! Lets face it, when you know you know.

Like you said, they have no balls! If they aren't interested anymore just say so and be done with it. But they can't because they apparently want to be in control... amazing when they seem to have no control over their emotions, life, work... need I go on!

Right now, I am as angry as you - Agghhhhhh!!!!!

I am very sure that any woman on here going through the same situation, with a scorpio or otherwise just needs to put an end to it and move on. Noone is worth that hassle and lets face it, it is hassle!

At the end of the day, if the guy in our life needs space and time we can all understand that, but there is no need to be rude or ignorant about it.

We all deserve better!

JX

THREE MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There it is again!! Read my 'enquiring minds...' thread.

Is there some tiny weeny asteroid that orbits in Scorpio charts every three months and gives them emotional diarrhoea??

Hi Xfoosme,

Well... this part of your message rang so true with me...

'I'd be there not holding back sending him really sweet emails, text messages, etc. and he'd just blow me off but I was supposed to understand. It was all crap. It was like he was setting me up all of the time.'

I think if you are being you and lets face it, in 'relationships' like this, if you can call it a relationship in fact, its hard to be yourself when you are constantly watching what you say of do for fear of rocking the boat.

Like you, I always tried to be understanding about the work issues and the being tired issues, but even though I tried to help with the work thing (we work in the same industry and I put tried to put some work his way) and tried to help with the sleep thing (I went to the health shop and got him some remedies to help), he would never do anything about it. Didn't accept the work I put his way and didn't bother with the remedies. Instead, he preferred to wallow.

You see, there comes a point when you realise you can't be who you are anymore. Because being you and being loving and caring and wanting that in return means you get let down and pushed away. So it destroys your soul.

I know its an easy and a pretty corny thing to say, but it makes me realise how much these guys are missing out on something and someone wonderful! I know I am not a bad person, as noone else on here appears to be 🙂 But they just don't see it. It really is their loss.

JX

you guys are so right 🙂
Girl power and all that... hey! Am I still living in the 90's—
Hmmm...
JX

NICE TO MEET WITH YOU THETIS!

I'M A CANCER SNAKE FEMALE AND KNOW EXACTLY HOW IT FEELS TO DATE A SCORPION MAN, LOL! THEY CAN BE MYSTERIOUS BUT PASSIONATE AND VERY LOGICAL VERY SERIOUS ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP STATUS IF THEY TRULLY LOVE. I THINK THERE IS MORE TO THE STORY THAT U KEEP HIDDEN OR SOMETHING SHE DIDNT SHARE WITH YOU OR YOU MISUNDERSTOOD EACH OTHER. SCORPS ALWAYS HAVE A REASON TO BACK OFF OR BECOME UNINTRESTED MAYBE SHE KNOWS SOMETHING U DONT?

TELL HIM HOW MUCH IMPORTANT HE MEANS TO U AND IF HE WANTS TO STAY IN UR LIFE HE SHOULD OPEN UP OR U LEAVE HIM ALONE!

TRULLY FASCINATED BY EVRYONE COMMENTS AND MEANINGS!!!

READ MY ADVICE BELOW AND IT CAN SAVE UR RELATIONSHIP!

Topic Question: "Are all Scorpio Men so confusing?"

Answer: "He also says that he isn't looking for anything serious and that he thought he'd made the clear."

I have to defend this guy, scorpio or not. I don't know when he told you that, but if he told you and you still wanted to be with him, then...

Did you think he would change his mind?

My bad. Thanks I.L. Sorry Jackie08.

Jackie08, when you said:

"....that is the only part that confuses me since i thought that it is all or nothing"

I know for a fact that That is true. It is all or nothing. You have done the right thing in walking away from him. You deserve a man who wants you as you want him.

Generally speaking, I will say this: If a woman is not getting the all or nothing from a scorpio man, he is not into her. Period. The only way a scorpio will play the back and forth game with you is when he is not into you. Anyone that has had this back and forth relationship with a scorpio, you have your answer. There is no need to wonder anymore. He is not into you. I don't mean to sound harsh, but that is the stone-cold truth. If you are putting up with the "back and forth" it is your own fault. A person will do to you what you allow.

Tiki said this in an earlier post on this thread and the women that have finally walked away from the "back and forth" game, did so only after they faced the fact that he (the scorpio) had already walked away from them.

If ego continues to tell you that he really loves you but doesn't have time for you, then you are fooling yourself. Scorpio men don't play around when they want a woman. You will never wonder if a scorpio is into you or not. His attention to you tells all.

emeraldgem not being bad or anything but maybe that taurus guy just wanted to bed you..

Hi all, i know this topic is more than a year old, i hope u posters are still members.

Am another scorpio victim here, u say that the back and forth behavior simply means he is not interested, but dont we all know that its part of their mind games to test u?

The right timing is everything for them they have to be sure that this person is worthy. everybody has weaknesses and flaws and usually these dont show at the beginning and all that is needed is time to see how we'll act under different circumstances.It's amazing what ppl will tell you when you dont ask anything. scorpios believe that

They need to know if that person is totally their worth or not... so comes the mind games and the back and forth behavior

if they love you the mind games are worse and more subtle. The games don't stop because: 1) they need constant control (love usually causes people to lose control over their emotions and be vulnerable--two things that Scorpios, for the most part, try to avoid doing) and 2) they need you to constantly PROVE yourself and your love for them.

Im confused, i dont mind it if hes not that interested, i can live with it believe me, but im just confused.

Cheers guys and hope to hear from u people who posted up there 😄

Haha another scorpio victim...we aren't that bad are we?

Anyway I know I'm not a scorpio MALE nor am I someone who has already posted in here but I want to give my opinions.

This back and forth "mind game" doesn't make sense to me. I've never (consciously) played mind games with anyone, especially not hot and cold ones. If someone is intentionally playing games with you then they aren't worth it...no matter what sign they are. Starting a relationship based on emotional/mental games isn't the healthiest thing to do.

When I personally like someone I go into an almost stalker mode. I can't play the back and forth game because it's impossible to semi-stalk someone that way 😛

So I don't think playing this game is a test. If I were to intentionally test someone I would probably know the answer before hand and keep quiet about it. I would wait and see what happens. The only example I can give to really explain what I mean is what happened with me and my last partner. I knew he had been cheating on me. I had seen written proof as well as a whole bunch of other things...but the written proof was the most solid of them all. I asked him who *insert name here* was. I already knew exactly who she was! I wanted him to tell me though. And he didn't, he made up a whole bunch of stuff. He failed the test. Some people may think of that as a mind game but he had done something first before I even thought of doing that.

The only time I would go back and forth would be because I suspect the person I'm with is a push-over and I want him/her to call me on my crap and show me they are stronger than I thought. And even then I wouldn't sit down and think "hmm today I might not contact my partner and see what happens". I would have had to lose a bit of respect for them in the first place and then later realise that I'm being a cow and if they don't stand up to me now then they are not worth it.

I don't even think I'm making any sense. I would say, though, that you should tell him how it makes you feel when he goes hot and cold and if he doesn't get his act together after that then just leave him for someone who CAN respect you and cares for you enough that they would never want you to feel that way.

Thank you guys, so when u say u expect the person to stand up for u and call u on ur crap, by that u mean i shud tell him what hes doing is not right for me? btw, we are not really together, weve been dating for few months, he came on me strong at the beginning then drifted off, whenever i see him i know he cares a lot, but when we commute thru text or email, he sounds so controlled, he makes false promises re meeting up, for example, hed say il see u after the weekend, then the whole week passes and i dont hear form him, then when i initiate and tell him come on lets hang ot i miss u, he tells me till NEXT week coz hes travelling (he travels alot for his work). Now this week passed already and he still didnt ask me out!!

SHould i say no when he does? come up with an excuse, or shud i just confront him? Or shud i ask him whats been up lately before i decide what action i shud take? Incase hes been having trouble (hes divorced has a kid and works a lot)

Hey, Leelaa, I'll leave this to the experts...I just wanted to thank you for resurrecting this thread. I've been strung along by a Scorpio for many years now. Although there have been several times in the past I've called him out on his shit, it was in a much less controlled manner than I did last night. I was able to calmly tell him I've had enough. The man wants me to remain in a holding pattern until the end of time. He wanted me on the backburner while he coped with endless excuses. I told him I love him...that I want a FULL commitment from him. But if he can't commit to me, I'm not putting my life on hold anymore. He was not happy. He fought me, made more excuses, tried blaming me. He tried to make me feel guilty and he tried to say its my fault. I let him know his manipulation did not work this time. I ended it by saying, "You could have all of the love and sensitivity inside of me, but you set this stage for us instead. This was YOUR decision, YOUR choice. You did this." I had to let him know that I wasn't going to spend one more minute wondering what more I could do or what I could do differently. I've done EVERYTHING I possibly could while being kept at bay. Its not me. Its him. No more games. Life is too short for this crap.

So far hes pretty mad at me, but oh well. I'll let you know how it goes. Good luck to you! And thanks again for bringing this thread back.

wowww bravoooo girl!!! You made me real happyyyyy reading how u handled it, u stayed focused and didnt let him trip u again!! Im not in the stage uve reached with ur scorpio, we are going tooooooo slow so we havent reached the stage where i cud even mention the word 'relationship', talk about 'commitment'! Ive been with another scorpio in the past tho, so i can see where the path will take me if i choose to take it, i wont.

I wont blame him, il just say no whenever he initiates, up till he asks me whats wrong (tho i doubt it), only then will i tell him im no longer on hold for him and wait take his false promises any longer. Its so not healthyyyyyy for my mental being! Maaaaaaan!

Yeah, we're definitely in different stages. The last time I was with my Scorp he asked me to write on his back with my finger and he would guess what it says. All I had to write was "M-A". He laughed and said, "Marry me!" I said, 'OK!' 😄

My feelings, devotion and loyalty to him could not possibly be questioned at this point. Thats why its easier for me to say, "ENOUGH!"

i hear you 😢. am sorry for ur pain, please do update me, i wish you peace of mind and happiness!

Happy holidays! 😄DD

whats ur sign btw??

whats ur sign btw??

Thanks, girl....back at ya. I'm actually a cusper. Aqua/Pisces. Feb 18.

Aww shadows I think your the same sign as my little brother...well...he's an aqua on the cusp of one of the two but I'm pretty sure it's pisces. He's loopy but in the best possible way! haha

leelaa, that is exactly what I mean. Because I have a feeling that a lot of scorpios aren't as oblivious to their actions as some make out.

My mother and her mother are scorpios and my dad and his dad are scorpios...what I've seen is the woman seem to do strange things and pretend they didn't know... But my dad seems to be a bit more aware of what's going on. He only plays games in business and he doesn't even try to hide it... But my mum will do what you've explained this guy does to you.

She will say "I'll see you at such and such time" and then when it comes she's never there. You can argue with her for 100 years...there's no getting through to her. But my dad might decide he can get away with not showing up and if you can confront him in a calm and collected manner; tell him you don't appreciate being mucked around, and when he says he will be somewhere he better be there next time or else forget about it (this has to be done with eye contact). My dad will probably think about it, process it, realise you're a good person, realise he respects you, and will be there EARLY next time. Otherwise if you let him do it and next time someone goes "Hey man, aren't you supposed to be there already?" he would probably say something like "Bro, he doesn't even say anything when I don't make it on time. It's all good if I'm late and if I don't make it at all I'll just set up another time" (yes my dad says bro haha).

Mum's example is the same for everything...friends, family, doctors, work. Dad's example is more of a work situation but he treats everything business-like (even his family) so it still applies. He's also a Libra/Scorpio cusp on the Scorpio side so I imagine that makes dealing with him a lot different. I see a dominance of Scorpio in the way he acts though.

Anyway, he may be nothing like those two at all but they are the ones I've had most experience with except for myself so...sorry if I've just rambled on and not helped at all 😛

Thank u typicalScorpio! No u havent rambled alot im real thankful for your input! my scorpio is born in the week of intesity, oct. 31rst, yikes, go figure.

I agree with u that i got to confront him face to face about his attitudes and false promises, but that means im gona have to say yes next time he asks me out, which i doubt it, coz am not planning to.

The thing is, he never cancels dates or shows up late, but he would say something like, sorry no can do today, how about tomorrow, or il see u next week when im back from my business trip, etc etc, but he never contacts me.

Another thing he does often is, when i postpone a date, maaaaaaan he would punish me for it, i would postpone it for the next day if he delays, like for example once, we were supposed to go out at 8 for coffee, im ready since 7 waiting for his call, he contacts me at 9 and tells me hes in restaurant x if i like to join and have dinner, or if i wana meet in cafe' x for coffee at 10:30!! SO i suggested tp postpone it till the next day since i already have dinner and 10:30 is too late (he knows i dont like leaving the house after 9:30 since i brought it up to him several times)
So he says its fine, the next day at 5 i suggest to meet up at 8, he apologizes and says he already made plans at that time, i dont freak out or blame him that we had plans (something i did b4), i just sent him a wink wink face and told him to enjoy. He sent me back 'haha ur a smart girl and am very proud to know u etc etc)

Aaaaaaaaanyways, im tired, im thinking about him way to much and am real confused and donno what to think. Its fine if he doesnt contact me when he says 'next week\, but atleast get in contact with me and give me an excuse, no??

Yeah I've been talking to this scorpio guy and the last time we hung out I told him that I gave up and wasn't going to try to be with him (he's trying to take it slow because of issues within our friend circle) and he told me not to give up.

Sooo I think this is their way of pulling back because they are guarded, but they really want you to fight for them. It goes with that saying "Sometimes we put up walls to see who will be willing to knock them down to get to us." or something like that 🙂 I know that a relationship with someone means a lot to me if they really tried hard to get to me, regardless of the challenge. That tells me I'm worth a lot to them and the scorpio values that.

Sorry that you're deal with the hot and gold thing :/ I have to deal with it sometimes too. Reminds me of that song "Hot n Cold" LOL