Decoding men's behaviour

since you scorp people are so hard to read and i'm not that good at reading between the lines and too chicken to ask - can you decode the following for me ppppllllssss:
when a scopr men says that he's very busy and spends most of his free time with me and he doesn't have time to date- does he really like me or i'm just a time convinience for him? or hopefully i'm overeacting.
who should bring up the relationship talk after 4 months? we never talked about it and see each other about twice a week but getting close to each other both emotionally and physically. we're really comfortable together and i saw him using my toothbrush (if that means anything. i don't think i'd use his). haven't been going out to places together which is beginning to bother me. i don't want to be the one to ask him out. he knows i'm going out with friends and he can always say that he wants to go with me but he never does. i don't want it to become a fwb situation.
he was bringing up exes and girls lately and i pretty much shut him up on the subject and he was all apologetic and said that he hasn't been with anybody else. is it to shut me up or should i trust him?

***when a scopr men says that he's very busy and spends most of his free time with me and he doesn't have time to date - i don't want it to become a fwb situation.***
Too late, it already is.

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That doesn't mean anything lol. All you get is XKA.

qs- you're killing all the hopes that i have here

Sorry girl. Just being honest.... When men don't EVER take you out and do things in public it is basically a booty call cause even with FWB you hang out from time to time. Why are you so afraid to raise these issues? Are you afraid he will admit he isn't ready to be serious?

Just ask him. He'll tell you.

you're right about all of this. i'll find a way to find out the next time i see him. it has to progress one way or the other.

db_ "I figure you probably hinted your concern, and he has shown no sign of taking the bait. If you want change, you will just have to bring it up and show that it matters to you. Then the ball is in his court." i haven't voiced any concern yet
if he knows that i care why would he care if he hasn't established relationship yet

"i don't want it to become a fwb situation"

And it doesnt have to be. But it also depends on your scorp's moon sign. Scorpio moon don't do fwb. It's emotionally impossible for them. Venus sign is also important here. If it's in water or earth then nope...no chance of fwb with him.

I don't know what your moon sign is but if it's in an air sign, this should make sense to you. If not, well...not sure how you'll cope (especially if it's in water). Scorps are turbulent. It is extremely IMPORTANT for you to be able to detach from them emotionally every once in a while or you WILL NOT COPE. One of my best friends is a pisces whose been with a scorp for 18 years...and no it's not because she's a sun sign pisces, but because she's a moon sign libra and she has a LOT of air in her chart (the only water sign she has is her sun). I re-iterate, you need to be able to emotionally detach from them every once in a while.

Now as far as the relationship talk, here's my two cents. When my scorp started dating me (this is a while back now so I'll try to remember as best I can) he introduced me as his friend even when we'd started sleeping together. I think I was his "friend" for about 4 or 5 months, maybe even 6. Anyway, I never once brought up the talk...I guess mainly because I wasn't bothered. I just went along with the ride (so to speak) kept living my life. If he called I answered, if he wanted to go out, I went out. I pretty much let him do all the calling and contacting.

I was so detached and at the same time attached to him (in a loyalty sense) that he had to ask if I even liked him to which I replied a simple yes. Anyway, before I knew it, I was being introduced as his girlfriend. I can't remember how long it took. I suppose when you start off with them, you just need to stay loyal (don't sleep with anyone else) but do your own thing. Give them control over when to call what you have a relationship. I appreciate this might be a lot more stressful if you're an older woman and want to know where you stand straight away...but seriously, if you just go with the flow, he'll define it for you.

"haven't been going out to places together which is beginning to bother me."

That doesn't have to be a negative thing. What is his personality? Does he like going out? If not, then it's no big deal.
My scorp hates going out, but then he has a lot of scorp in him. He needs the quiet, hates noisy places. And I'm a homebody so it works well.

"What is fwb?"

LMAO. fwb = friends with benefits

newbie- don't know his planet positions. my moon is in scorpio. so, you can imagine me being an aries with a scorpio moon. it's not like i'm sitting home and don't have a life on my own. i just want to share it with him and bring him along. i'm loyal to him. haven't been with anyone except him. just getting tired of not knowing

ariesgirl, just ask him. He will tell you the truth either way.

qs- i hate relationship talks. i guess it'll have to be done sooner or later

Dancing Bread - Got it, thanks. Well, that changing things a bit. - what changed?

qs- i hate relationship talks. i guess it'll have to be done sooner or later

This is why you're left wondering I guess. It has to be done... So do it. Today! LOL!!!

today is tooooo sooon!!!! lol

"I just hope she doesn't talk too much, b/c then I wouldn't even want the sex."

LOL.

I think fwb is crass...simply slutty behaviour, but to each their own.

Ariesgirl, try not to worry about this too much. He's with you...just enjoy it. If you corner him with the 20 questions, he'll shut down on you. He's still trying to figure it and you out...They are snails that way.

***I don't deal well with shallow relationships and Friends with benefits can't get any shallower. How exactly do you have any worth in that relationship?***

There isn't any worth, just sex. Usually people are FWB, when they aren't ready for a committed relationship for whatever reason and still have needs and a sexual attraction to another. However, it is important to be honest and let the other person know your intent.

***I think fwb is crass...simply slutty behaviour, but to each their own.***

Really? Hmmm, slutty behaviour? Why? I have only had a couple FWB's but that was because I was separated from my ex hubby and preparing for a divorce and didn't want a relationship. However, I had needs and got involved with someone who I was attracted to and they to me and they knew my intentions and they had the same, so it was no strings attached and we would hang out (like friends) even tell eachother things, talk about our life issues and have sex. There was ofcourse some type of connection, but not a relationship because there was no future commitment.

Which as adults we are smart enought to do this safely and healthy and it doesn't mean, be FWB's with different people every month or so. Some can last for a long time and some turn into a relaitonship and even marriage in one of my cases.

So, it is just human nature.

You could have a person in 5 relationships in a year.... Would that seem slutty to you?

**if I had a fwb, there is a reason she isn't my girlfriend.**

Most of the time this is why they are a fwb in the first place, same goes for a girl who is FWB with a guy.

They may have mind blowing sex, but don't get along on any other level and at the time don't have another relationship prospect or another sexual partner.

Question Newbie, then what do you call what is going on with ariesgirl and her scorp? A relationship? Nooo because clearly that hasn't even been discussed. So what? Aren't they friends? Aren't they having sex? Then do you have another name for that? Just curious really.

I think fwb is crass...simply slutty behaviour, but to each their own

i disagree...

a slut would be fucking a complete and total stranger...

***i disagree...

a slut would be treetrunking a complete and total stranger...***

Or multiple complete and total strangers... LOL!!!

***are you saying you have been sleeping together twice a week for 4 months and you two never go out to watch a movie, dinner or drinks or do whatever activities with friends—

so basically every time you meet it's for sex.

it's as clear as the sky that it is a FWB. in fact i'm not even sure you are friends bc friends do hang out and do things together you know.***


Wow!!! Someone finally sees what I see... But you know sagigoat some people would leave her to believe this is a relationship. Go figure.

BTW, He using your toothbrush, doesn't mean anything but that he is doing something pretty unsanitary...

ugh...

Ha! I clicked this link hoping to find a guide to decoding men's behavior - lol 😉

But, to answer the OP, it doesn't sound good. I would say he was feeling you out to see if you had feelings before taking you out, but since he said that he didn't have time to go out without saying something like "I'd like to take you out in July when I'm done with (whatever he is so busy with)," it doesn't seem positive to me.

The only way to know for sure is to ask him directly though.

Wait, I just read the other posts. It seems there was quite a bit of feeling in the physical sense already. Sorry, it seems like fwb to me.

Why don't you ask his opinion on it?

Male behavior = Sex, work, funny stuff, food, sleep, pee/poop. Not really much to it.

***is this what it started out as with your scorp and then feelings came into the picture?

Yup! So, things can get deeper and because I knew from day one that he wouldn't be a good long-term partner (mind you when we first hooked up I wasn't looking for a relationship) I had to end it when we got involved deeper.

It kind of happened this way with my ex-husband and that ended in marriage. But you either have to end it if it changes or Let them know (like with my ex) that you now want something more and if he doesn't you are moving on.

"a slut would be fucking a complete and total stranger..."

"Or multiple complete and total strangers... LOL!!!"

:: DY puts a bag or Orville Reddenbocker's in the microwave, waits for the movie! ::

LMAO@Dyer...

Irishlibra, honestly. I have been through alot in life in general. Lived in different countries and exposed to different cultures (not that others here haven't), so my views on probably EVERYTHING is most likely different from others. I respect your opinioins and I don't take them personal (sometimes) LOL!!!

All I can talk about is my experiences no one elses.

I must say librans male/female are still one of the most facinating people to me. I have learned a lot from being involved with them. Irishlibra what you said made a lot of sense to me. If I hadn't been involved mostly with librans, I probably would have been clueless.

LOL!!! Cio!

LMAO@rose colored glasses! Throw them far away girl!!!!

So did you guys just reconnect or are you just remaining friends and see what happens?

hi latinaindia. thanks for finding this thread and we're here to help each other out.
"I ended with my Aries b/c I got pissed off at his stupid childishness, drama, and hot/cold act. He played the disappearing game on me after that." - that was a good thing to do. no one needs that.
a lot changed since i posted this and all for the best. now it's a bit more settled and going into the positive direction and we're an item. if the kids nowdays still call it "an item"🙂 i voiced my discomfort about being the last person in his life and he felt really bad about it because he didn't realize that i was feeling that way. now, he goes out of his way to show otherwise. i think both of us mature enought to know a good thing when it's happening and also it's kind of scary at the same time. we're definately opening to each other more and even talking about how we're feeling about each other. i think he's doing a better job at being expressive and he's the one who brought it up. i'm not too much of a mushy type.
regarding your friend: you're right about "a sleeze for two years is a sleeze for life" he's probably realized that it was his fault and he still wants her and now he can't have her. sometimes you don't know what you have until you loose it.

Roxi- you're just an aries basher!!!🙂 but you love the aries regardless!!!! just admit it already🙂

oh yeah. we like to drain all your blood too

I knew it!

Well it's a renewable resource, why not give it away. I'm going again tomorrow lol. I wonder if the girl who usually takes it is a Scorpio? She always gives me the big mug too. I think she likes me.

Two words for all of you thinking you need a DK in your lives. Male Aquarius. We have bad reps for some reason so feel free to stay away. 🙂

Somebody call for a decoder? Right....let's see...TORO...okay...

"blatantly tells me that he's detaching (again that stupid word) & that he's pushing me away (do they actually tell you this or just do it—)"

Translation: I can't see you everyday so I don't know what the HELL you're up to. Do you still like me? I don't know but I need to protect my sensitive little heart...so let me push first and look for a reaction.

(I'm guessing you didnt give a reaction...or maybe didnt have a chance to react before sentence number 2 came?)

"Anyway, then in the next sentence talks about moving to Arizona and wants to come in the summer to see me and to see if he can handle the heat (not sure what HEAT he's referring too, but I'm guessing it the sun)."

Translation: I really like you and want to come and be AROUND you cos this long distnace thing is killing me. I can't see what you're friggin up to. Are you seeing other guys? I have NO control. Damn...it SUCKS!!!

(End of decoding)

Hope that helps...and yes TORO, they don't tell you they are detaching. They just DO. If they say something about it, they are looking for a reaction from you...and hoping for a positive one...something like, NOOOOOOO don't detach, we can make this woooooooooork ! (=reassurance. Scorps need constant reassurance. Remember that)

The Scorp I was trying to distance myself from but still in love with(he was not ready for a non-exclusive relationship) kept on inviting me to his place/wanting to come visit me(which is over 2 hours drive). Each time I came up with a polite way to say no until he invited me for a trip of few days to another country. We had a great time but in the way I wish I hadn't because now my head is messed up even more!

So can someone please decode this one for me:
He went through quite a bit of trouble planning this trip when he realised I was willing to go with him. During the trip he really took care of me and insisted on paying most of our expenses......But now that we are back I haven't heard from him for nearly a week.

I know for a fact he is dating others himself yet he act all jealous and kept on asking me questions when I got attention from some other guy at a club ...

To make matters even more complicated now I met another Scorp who is trying to ask me out...what is it with those Scorpio man that they always manage to do my treetrunking head in!!! But I'm hooked all the same😢

Oh yeah the push/pull...Arrgghh!!!

You need to leave these Scorpio men alone! LOL!!!

Women (not all) make men a priority and Men make women options...We women need to start making ourselves the priority. We have to stop making excuses for the way these "Scorpio Men" are behaving. With any relationship with Scorpio or any other sign. If they're not treating you the way you want/need to be treated then find someone who will give you exactly what you want and need. If a man really wants to be with you, you won't have to question it, or read between the lines.

A recovering Scorpio addict! Thank GOD I'm recovered! :O)

Thank you PB🙂 I was doing so good then the relapse, damn it!!! It doesn't help that I'm PMSing and feeling depressed and in the mood for ranting😢 Anyway I'm fine and i'll kick myself back into shape and hopefully soon forget his manipulative ass all together..

"A recovering Scorpio addict! Thank GOD I'm recovered!"

lol..Good for you!!I knew you could do it!!😛

Thanks Abbey! It was hard, but my situation wasn't healthy anyway. I realized that I was miserable worrying about him all the time. I feel so at peace now! Do I miss him? Of course I do, but I'm so much happier. It gets easier abbey...Only if you're willing to let go...

**what is it with those Scorpio man that they always manage to do my treetrunking head in!!! But I'm hooked all the same**

Been there a thousand times! Once that has been broken, you'll be asking yourself "WTF was I thinking?" Good Luck!

***So can someone please decode this one for me:
He went through quite a bit of trouble planning this trip when he realised I was willing to go with him. During the trip he really took care of me and insisted on paying most of our expenses......But now that we are back I haven't heard from him for nearly a week.***

It is a power strategy. They don't like others to end it, so they get you back where they want you and do what they can to keep that line of communication open even if they are involved with others. Ironically my scorp friend asked and is still asking me to go on a trip with him in June... Even though I declined, he still asks if we can go just as friends. Nope!

The break away is very hard and there will be some relapses maybe more than a few, but you will eventually let go. The reality of it all will hit and that will all die out. Trust me. Been there too. Sometimes I wonder if I am still.

That makes sense QS, I am so exhausted trying to figure out his games..I haven't contacted him yet and the silence is killing me😢 I am letting go now, did it once before and I can do it again...hopefully he won't contact me for a while too, it's so hard to ignore when he is persistent.