Greentea
@Greentea
10 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 1 · Posts: 3848 · Topics: 46
I NEED ADVICE..
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Posted by ManilaViceAnds, can you give me real advice please. Not 9th grade stuff. Thanks.
bros before hoes
How can I make him more.comfortable, he knows I'm faithful af and.sprung on him lol. He just thinks these girls will get me out of that for some reason. I have a mind of my own.
Posted by SensitiveBluesI wouldn't be taking girl trips to this magnitude if I had children, I'd be at home where I belong raising them.
Don't bend to his insecurities! Why would you miss this?
Only reason is if you had children.
Don't be that chick please
I'm trying not to be that chick, I don't want him to think I don't care about his feelings though, but at the same time I REALLY REALLY WANT TO GO WITH MY GIRLS'!!!
It's memories we'll have together before I or we do the whole settling down thing. Lol.
Posted by WhiteChocolateSome can be on the wild side. I just.don't think he has much respect for how they choose to be. I just make sure they don't get in trouble or killed but I'm not their mom, and they're good friends/people. He just doesn't like how they live the single life.
Do any of his concerns about these other women have any merit?
He needs to understand though that I realize I'm in a relationship and wouldn't do anything to jeopardize what we have. His insecurities are getting to him. He doesn't need to.
Posted by SeaGoddessYa he said he does trust me, just not the crowd. He thinks they'll get me in uncompromising positions. I think he thinks I'm naive and these girls will corrupt me. I don't think so. If anything I'll be the voice.of reason in the crowd. If it was my other group of friends, he wouldn't have a problem with it, but.my other group of friends wouldn't go to NY for a girls trip. LolPosted by GreenteaSounds like he doesn't trust you in my opinion
I've been invited to a girls' trip to NY in the Spring. My Scorpio doesn't like some of the girls that are going, he thinks they're too wild, and said seems like the type to get me involved in uncompromising positions. We're all going to be sharing hotel rooms and most are single. I told him I would get my own room. That seemed to settle him, but he just doesn't trust me with this crowd.
I really want to go, and he has no reason not to trust me. The fact that they're single amd ready to mingle doesn't mean I am, I'm just going along because it seems like a fun girls trip. It's NY!! He's planned a trip to Vegas with his friends for Super Bowl, and I didn't give him anything for it.
I don't know, maybe I can plan a trip there for us two instead if its sucheaper a big deal...but it just seems so much fun and I don't want to miss out on the girl bonding experience.
I believe in freedom so definitely go!
He's not your boss just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean he can tell you what you can and cant do fuck that shit stand up for your freedom woman !click to expand
Posted by Ixion120Exactly!! I've explained this to him.. he says..go ahead and go, but it's in a way he doesn't want me to go, guilt tripping me if I went. Ughhhh!!!Posted by GreenteaIts a thinly veiled insecurity. The entire notion of "I trust you just not them" really translates into I don't trust you with them....which ultimately translates into "I don't trust you". If he trusts you then it doesn't matter who tf you are with he trusts you to maintain your integrity.Posted by SeaGoddessYa he said he does trust me, just not the crowd. He thinks they'll get me in uncompromising positions. I think he thinks I'm naive and these girls will corrupt me. I don't think so. If anything I'll be the voice.of reason in the crowd. If it was my other group of friends, he wouldn't have a problem with it, but.my other group of friends wouldn't go to NY for a girls trip. LolPosted by GreenteaSounds like he doesn't trust you in my opinion
I've been invited to a girls' trip to NY in the Spring. My Scorpio doesn't like some of the girls that are going, he thinks they're too wild, and said seems like the type to get me involved in uncompromising positions. We're all going to be sharing hotel rooms and most are single. I told him I would get my own room. That seemed to settle him, but he just doesn't trust me with this crowd.
I really want to go, and he has no reason not to trust me. The fact that they're single amd ready to mingle doesn't mean I am, I'm just going along because it seems like a fun girls trip. It's NY!! He's planned a trip to Vegas with his friends for Super Bowl, and I didn't give him anything for it.
I don't know, maybe I can plan a trip there for us two instead if its sucheaper a big deal...but it just seems so much fun and I don't want to miss out on the girl bonding experience.
I believe in freedom so definitely go!
He's not your boss just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean he can tell you what you can and cant do fuck that shit stand up for your freedom woman !click to expand
But he needs to understand that i, us, we will be ok. He has nothing to worry about.
Posted by SensitiveBluesI haven't either, it's just exactly that ..fun, they're fun amd they're good girlfriends. What they do being single is not.my place to intervene. I just want to be there to experience the trip with them. Not do everything they're gonna be doing. I'm committed to him only.
I've been with the wildest girls but I never did that many wild things
Fun girls are just that fun
If u bend now its gameover.
Posted by SuperMercurialI honestly don't think he will, I trust him. We've been on Vegas trips before as friends with friends and company trips. He's not like that.
Ohhh he hasnt gone to vegas yet? Dude don't trust someone with his insecurities. He's going to cheat on you if he goes to Vegas.
Posted by tizianiYou're right. I've been rather stoic about it because it's not even registering in my mind what he thinks might go on. I'm just not there with it like that because it didnt even enter my mind. My intentions are to just have fun with my girlfriends. I've been trying to be logical about it with him. I basically have to tell him I'm sprung on him, and I domt want to have to say those words to make him realize he has nothing to worry about., and he's all I want.
Yeah it boils down to he doesn't trust or respect you like that yet. I wouldn't be overly confrontational about it, just defuse the situation by not reacting. Let him know you can talk about what's bothering him.
Whether or not you're into him and how much doesn't really have to get mixed up in the real issue.
Take it from someone who was married to someone who tried that kind of reasoning for why I couldn't do things without him (it was bad enough that he didn't want me to see a movie with my mom without him....MY MOM!)......no good can come from someone with a double standard, and there's no way you can fix another person's insecurity issues. That's HIS problem to deal with, and he can face it and fix it, or he can make it worse. Mine chose to make it worse, and I was the sorry sucker who "didn't want to hurt him" so I caved to his controlling demands, which only led to more controlling, and more controlling, and eventually emotional and verbal abuse.
Posted by WhiteChocolateThat's what he said, he's worried they'll put me in situations I otherwise wouldn't be in, and he doesn't like that. But.I think I have good judgement, and wouldn't put myself in any situation where I'd be in any danger or have any regrets abiut what I'm doing. I'm just not that kind of risk taker.Posted by GreenteaFirst off...insecurity is a word thrown around this place like Ike threw Tina around. It's easy to parrot but it's not always the case.Posted by WhiteChocolateSome can be on the wild side. I just.don't think he has much respect for how they choose to be. I just make sure they don't get in trouble or killed but I'm not their mom, and they're good friends/people. He just doesn't like how they live the single life.
Do any of his concerns about these other women have any merit?
He needs to understand though that I realize I'm in a relationship and wouldn't do anything to jeopardize what we have. His insecurities are getting to him. He doesn't need to.
It's possible he doesn't trust your friends to not put themselves in a situation that endangers you some how. It's not that he doesn't trust YOU so much that he doesn't trust other people. Terrible shit happens to good people.
Telling him to fuck off and going off doing whatever you want isn't going to solve anything. If he trusted you in the first place, you're just going to destroy that trust. You have to meet in the middle. Go on the trip but compromise on how you can ease some of his concerns. That will build trust and the next trip he might not even be worried.
He's probably not going to change this protective part of him. So you either learn to work around it and help him minimize it, or just dump him now because it's not likely to change.click to expand
Posted by WhiteChocolateI think you're right. He won't knkw how I am in these situations, unless we actually go through the situation. He's gonna have to learn that he has nothing to worry about and I'll have to teach him that.
@Greentea You'll just have to kind of rip the bandage off on this...but with a little care. If they makes sense.
Posted by SensitiveBluesI'm saving that as my.last resort.Posted by GreenteaI got solution to all your problems.Posted by WhiteChocolateThat's what he said, he's worried they'll put me in situations I otherwise wouldn't be in, and he doesn't like that. But.I think I have good judgement, and wouldn't put myself in any situation where I'd be in any danger or have any regrets abiut what I'm doing. I'm just not that kind of risk taker.Posted by GreenteaFirst off...insecurity is a word thrown around this place like Ike threw Tina around. It's easy to parrot but it's not always the case.Posted by WhiteChocolateSome can be on the wild side. I just.don't think he has much respect for how they choose to be. I just make sure they don't get in trouble or killed but I'm not their mom, and they're good friends/people. He just doesn't like how they live the single life.
Do any of his concerns about these other women have any merit?
He needs to understand though that I realize I'm in a relationship and wouldn't do anything to jeopardize what we have. His insecurities are getting to him. He doesn't need to.
It's possible he doesn't trust your friends to not put themselves in a situation that endangers you some how. It's not that he doesn't trust YOU so much that he doesn't trust other people. Terrible shit happens to good people.
Telling him to fuck off and going off doing whatever you want isn't going to solve anything. If he trusted you in the first place, you're just going to destroy that trust. You have to meet in the middle. Go on the trip but compromise on how you can ease some of his concerns. That will build trust and the next trip he might not even be worried.
He's probably not going to change this protective part of him. So you either learn to work around it and help him minimize it, or just dump him now because it's not likely to change.
Get a cardboard box. Do a demonstration!
This is me. Get itclick to expand
Posted by KoniuchaThey pull guys on purpose. They're loud, bring attention to themselves and real risk takers. I'll be the voice of reason and make sure they're safe.
Just curious, what do your friends do that you have to make sure they don't get killed?
They roll eyes at me sometimes and tell me to ease up lol... oh well.
Posted by WhiteChocolateOh he knows from the get go, cheating will be the end of us. It's up to him to honor that or not. I camt follow him around wherever he goes. He knows what will happen if he doesnt. That goes for me too. If I cheat on someone, I wasn't good enough for them.Posted by GreenteaWell, whatever you come up with to help ease his fears, make sure you demand the same of him if he leaves town.Posted by WhiteChocolateI think you're right. He won't knkw how I am in these situations, unless we actually go through the situation. He's gonna have to learn that he has nothing to worry about and I'll have to teach him that.
@Greentea You'll just have to kind of rip the bandage off on this...but with a little care. If they makes sense.click to expand
Posted by MiZLeoSee I domt want to do that though..oh you can go do this but I cant. I want to be able to just compromise and him understand I didn't have an issue with it because I trust him. It's not.like he's going with a great crowd either but I think he's not the type to do that. He's reserved that way. That's what I like about him. It's sexy. 😛
If he is going to the Superbowl thing he shouldn't have an issue with you going to NY with your girls. I'd go and throw the superbowl trip in his face.
you can't allow a significant other to kill anything fun that you want to do in life. that's not fair. he's controlling you if you don't go. don't allow him to be the controller of your life. you should be able to show your responsibility in your own life along with having freedom and having fun. no man should rob that from you.
Posted by Ixion120Yep, no drama. Don't let the door hit.you on your way out.Posted by GreenteaI take the position...if you were gonna cheat...there wasn't a damn thing I could about it...its your cooch your actions and I'll look at it just like that.Posted by WhiteChocolateOh he knows from the get go, cheating will be the end of us. It's up to him to honor that or not. I camt follow him around wherever he goes. He knows what will happen if he doesnt. That goes for me too. If I cheat on someone, I wasn't good enough for them.Posted by GreenteaWell, whatever you come up with to help ease his fears, make sure you demand the same of him if he leaves town.Posted by WhiteChocolateI think you're right. He won't knkw how I am in these situations, unless we actually go through the situation. He's gonna have to learn that he has nothing to worry about and I'll have to teach him that.
@Greentea You'll just have to kind of rip the bandage off on this...but with a little care. If they makes sense.
You cheated? Cool best not let me find out about it. There won't be any drama...no tearful renditions of "how could you do this to me" I'd just drop her plain and simple.click to expand
Just.done!
Then I'll go cry in my room for hour,...he wouldn't know that though lol
Posted by WhiteChocolateThat was already on the agenda, checking in and making sure he knows I'm thinking of him.Posted by GreenteaWell no one says you have to follow him, but again quality relationships are built a lot on compromise. If for example you agree you'll call him each night just to say him and let him know you're doing okay, you'll need to demand that from him as well. You have to establish boundaries. After a while stuff like that might not even be necessary.Posted by WhiteChocolateOh he knows from the get go, cheating will be the end of us. It's up to him to honor that or not. I camt follow him around wherever he goes. He knows what will happen if he doesnt. That goes for me too. If I cheat on someone, I wasn't good enough for them.Posted by GreenteaWell, whatever you come up with to help ease his fears, make sure you demand the same of him if he leaves town.Posted by WhiteChocolateI think you're right. He won't knkw how I am in these situations, unless we actually go through the situation. He's gonna have to learn that he has nothing to worry about and I'll have to teach him that.
@Greentea You'll just have to kind of rip the bandage off on this...but with a little care. If they makes sense.
My wife used to worry about me all the time when I went out of town on fishing trips. Did I really think I needed to text her if we switched rivers or call her every night? No. But I did it anyways.click to expand
I agree with whiteC completely.
trust is earned over time. ppl who just give trust for no good reason is simply stupid IMHO lol. your relation is pretty new. it takes years to really know a person, how s/he behaves in stressful / alien / under-influenced situations.
trust is earned over time. ppl who just give trust for no good reason is simply stupid IMHO lol. your relation is pretty new. it takes years to really know a person, how s/he behaves in stressful / alien / under-influenced situations.
Taking bets on whether OP lasts in her current relationship past the summer.
Thanks guys, and @WhiteChocolate i appreciate the help and advice. This is a test in our relationship, I think we can only grow from this. Growing pains are a bitch!!!!
Posted by Ixion120Right?!
If you don't trust your partner by the time you got into your relationship then you probably moved to fast and are doing the talking phase wrong. Why join yourself to someone in a situation in which you must trust them in order for the relationship to be healthy only to do the opposite? Seems like sabotage to me.
"I don't trust you at all.... but here let me link my emotional well being to you anyway... so that we can both be supremely uncomfortable and hurt about the fact that I don't trust you."
I wonder if he thinks im being too lax, because I didn't give him any crap about going to Vegas and he's skeptical because of that. Maybe not used to it.
Just a thought.
Posted by Arielle83my scorp asked me to not go on a trip with a crazy sag. I said "DO NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO" and went. and we there were dramas lol
My scorp did this to me once.
I told him I'm offended he doesn't think I have my own brain and got mad at him for assuming I'm a follower, and will get myself into drama if my friends choose it.
Then he backed off cuz I told him to trust me.
"and yep there were dramas"
Posted by FinbuffI've never done anything to make him not trust me. I just think he doesn't like the crowd I'm going with, without him.
Just go, he will have to get used to it. Is there any other reason for him NOT to trust you? Have there been other events like this in the past with the same women, where things have happened? If not, then he has no reason to worry. I'd tell him to just accept it, and just assure him that he can trust you.
He's been out with us before, so he knows how wild they can get.
my scorp was right though. i regretted i went on that trip. the sag was a crazy drama queen lol
Posted by SensitiveBlues+1Posted by GreenteaThat's his problem not yours
How can I make him more.comfortable, he knows I'm faithful af and.sprung on him lol. He just thinks these girls will get me out of that for some reason. I have a mind of my own.click to expand
If he can't get over himself, how can you expect to change him? It's not your place to, that's his responsibility.
Are you both seriously dating? Do you know where his loyalties lie?
If he can't trust you, as you try to prove yourself, consider it a losing battle. You will never win. He has to fight this problem himself.
Don't hinder yourself for his sake. have fun with your friends! It's NY! Many folks only dream of going, you currently have that chance.
Don't squander it.
Single and trying to have fun with your coupled friends.
In a relationship, and trying to have a fun "night out" with your single friends.
What's worse?
In a relationship, and trying to have a fun "night out" with your single friends.
What's worse?
Posted by GreenteaOnly read OP.
I've been invited to a girls' trip to NY in the Spring. My Scorpio doesn't like some of the girls that are going, he thinks they're too wild, and said seems like the type to get me involved in uncompromising positions. We're all going to be sharing hotel rooms and most are single. I told him I would get my own room. That seemed to settle him, but he just doesn't trust me with this crowd.
I really want to go, and he has no reason not to trust me. The fact that they're single amd ready to mingle doesn't mean I am, I'm just going along because it seems like a fun girls trip. It's NY!! He's planned a trip to Vegas with his friends for Super Bowl, and I didn't give him anything for it.
I don't know, maybe I can plan a trip there for us two instead if its sucheaper a big deal...but it just seems so much fun and I don't want to miss out on the girl bonding experience.
Exactly. What he's saying is basically that he doesn't trust you having a mind of your own or that you will do something destructive to the relationship even if you did. As long as he's not planning to lock you in the basement, he is going to have to trust that you can make sound decisions for yourself and for your relationship out in the world, wherever you'll be or with whomever you will be - he'll have to take that chance like everyone else in relationships. Imo.
Having dinner in tonight, cooking for him... we need to talk it through. Girls want to book the trip on Monday and need to know if I'm gonna be in.
I think at this point you need to either tell him that you're going or not going. You know how he feels about it. Trying to help him not worry is just a waste a time. He'll still think through all his issues with the trip after you leave, even if you try to talk it out.
Personally, if this was my guy, I'd say okay, you can tell me what you're worried about and why you're worried about it, but I'm still going.
You trust him on trips. It's time he returned that favor. This reminds me about how much it sucks when you give a lot to a person and they just keep taking and taking...and then they take it all for granted. I bet if you reacted the way he did to any future trips of his he would turn around and make a huge deal out of it or be super hurt. It makes me pissed off just thinking about it.
Personally, if this was my guy, I'd say okay, you can tell me what you're worried about and why you're worried about it, but I'm still going.
You trust him on trips. It's time he returned that favor. This reminds me about how much it sucks when you give a lot to a person and they just keep taking and taking...and then they take it all for granted. I bet if you reacted the way he did to any future trips of his he would turn around and make a huge deal out of it or be super hurt. It makes me pissed off just thinking about it.
Posted by ReincarnationI can semi agree with the friends part, but the rest has little to do with character, so they're aren't as important, IMO. Character flaws, those are the red flags I look for.
Having bad friends is a red flag. Not a deal breaker, but a red flag.
Smoking, tattoos, and excessive profanity would be three red flags - and a dealbreaker for this Scorpion. One red flag is fine.
Hope that makes sense.
Posted by ReincarnationThey're not bad, they're good people... they're all just single and like and know how to have fun. Too much some times. Doesn't mean, I'm going to get crazy. I know what my limits are.
Having bad friends is a red flag. Not a deal breaker, but a red flag.
Smoking, tattoos, and excessive profanity would be three red flags - and a dealbreaker for this Scorpion. One red flag is fine.
Hope that makes sense.
Posted by ScenicI've already made up my mind to go, I just want to mke sure we're on the same page. I feel you though.
I think at this point you need to either tell him that you're going or not going. You know how he feels about it. Trying to help him not worry is just a waste a time. He'll still think through all his issues with the trip after you leave, even if you try to talk it out.
Personally, if this was my guy, I'd say okay, you can tell me what you're worried about and why you're worried about it, but I'm still going.
You trust him on trips. It's time he returned that favor. This reminds me about how much it sucks when you give a lot to a person and they just keep taking and taking...and then they take it all for granted. I bet if you reacted the way he did to any future trips of his he would turn around and make a huge deal out of it or be super hurt. It makes me pissed off just thinking about it.
Posted by ReincarnationI figured that's all he really needs, I will give him that.
Having bad friends is a red flag. Not a deal breaker, but a red flag.
Smoking, tattoos, and excessive profanity would be three red flags - and a dealbreaker for this Scorpion. One red flag is fine.
Hope that makes sense.
I spent this nye away from my bf (new relationship as well).
He partied in the desert with his friends (he skipped the Christmas trip with them to kick it with me) and I partied with friends in dt. My sister was also visiting me so it just made sense.
I asked him before if he was comfortable with it, as I would be dressing up, drinking heavily, and around dudes looking for that midnight kiss.
He told me, "I trust you until you give me reason not to trust you".
That's essentially what you need to tell your man tonight. You trust him to go to Vegas and get rowdy with his buddies. Reciprocation from him is only fair. Be sympathetic with him as he may have prior experiences which make it hard for him to trust, but stand firm!
Life is uncertain. We can't predict and control every situation. All we can do is surround ourselves with quality people and live honorably. What happens, happens.
He partied in the desert with his friends (he skipped the Christmas trip with them to kick it with me) and I partied with friends in dt. My sister was also visiting me so it just made sense.
I asked him before if he was comfortable with it, as I would be dressing up, drinking heavily, and around dudes looking for that midnight kiss.
He told me, "I trust you until you give me reason not to trust you".
That's essentially what you need to tell your man tonight. You trust him to go to Vegas and get rowdy with his buddies. Reciprocation from him is only fair. Be sympathetic with him as he may have prior experiences which make it hard for him to trust, but stand firm!
Life is uncertain. We can't predict and control every situation. All we can do is surround ourselves with quality people and live honorably. What happens, happens.
Micromanaging always backfires
Posted by GreenteaThis waseat for @Vixen2Posted by ReincarnationI figured that's all he really needs, I will give him that.
Having bad friends is a red flag. Not a deal breaker, but a red flag.
Smoking, tattoos, and excessive profanity would be three red flags - and a dealbreaker for this Scorpion. One red flag is fine.
Hope that makes sense.click to expand
No offense, but you made me happy to be single. I'd be dammed if someone didn't want me to go on a trip. I'm a travel whore I go on almost every trip in invited to, I don't care lol
Seriously, this is such a turn off. Don't be blind to it.
Posted by GreenteaI did not read the eight previous pages of advice, so this could be a repeat.
I've been invited to a girls' trip to NY in the Spring. My Scorpio doesn't like some of the girls that are going, he thinks they're too wild, and said seems like the type to get me involved in uncompromising positions. We're all going to be sharing hotel rooms and most are single. I told him I would get my own room. That seemed to settle him, but he just doesn't trust me with this crowd.
I really want to go, and he has no reason not to trust me. The fact that they're single amd ready to mingle doesn't mean I am, I'm just going along because it seems like a fun girls trip. It's NY!! He's planned a trip to Vegas with his friends for Super Bowl, and I didn't give him anything for it.
I don't know, maybe I can plan a trip there for us two instead if its sucheaper a big deal...but it just seems so much fun and I don't want to miss out on the girl bonding experience.
The trust issue is his issue, not yours. You know who you are.
You bend to this, you will bend to other things, because if he knows you will give things up for him, he will ask for it again. This is experience speaking here.
Love is him knowing you love him enough to be yourself in any surroundings.
Posted by Ixion120THIS!!!^
If you don't trust your partner by the time you got into your relationship then you probably moved to fast and are doing the talking phase wrong. Why join yourself to someone in a situation in which you must trust them in order for the relationship to be healthy only to do the opposite? Seems like sabotage to me.
"I don't trust you at all.... but here let me link my emotional well being to you anyway... so that we can both be supremely uncomfortable and hurt about the fact that I don't trust you."
So O.P are you planning on changing everything about yourself to suite this fella?
This shouldn't even be something to make a topic over. Go have fun with your friends and let him go get a life.
It's not that serious. Women cater to men and forget about themselves too damn much at times. Your friends is your friends.They were there before him and they will be there after him.
This shouldn't even be something to make a topic over. Go have fun with your friends and let him go get a life.
It's not that serious. Women cater to men and forget about themselves too damn much at times. Your friends is your friends.They were there before him and they will be there after him.
I'm not blind to it, trust me. However, I dont want to act as if he and his insecurities dont matter, because he does matter to me.
I am going, we discussed it. He doesn't like that I'll be gone for a week, at a place ive never been to with the crowd I'm going with, but he knows that I won't put us or myself at risk. He just wants me to let him know I'm ok, so he doesn't worry too much. He also thinks a week is too long without me.
I said by Spring you'll probabky be so sick of me, a week apart will be good. Lol.
Ok, that's settled. Scorpio lovin time. 🙂
I am going, we discussed it. He doesn't like that I'll be gone for a week, at a place ive never been to with the crowd I'm going with, but he knows that I won't put us or myself at risk. He just wants me to let him know I'm ok, so he doesn't worry too much. He also thinks a week is too long without me.
I said by Spring you'll probabky be so sick of me, a week apart will be good. Lol.
Ok, that's settled. Scorpio lovin time. 🙂
Posted by ReincarnationYep. Just let your man know that you are completely devoted to him and why and how. Fuck the thinking that you are giving into his insecurities. The only thing that should matter within your relationship right now is that your Scorp needs to know that you are completely devoted to him and who cares about all the other ego-based thinking.
You women don't get it. It's not about "fears" or "insecurities."
It's about devotion - both in action and in mind.
You may want to send him pics while you are there and don't be dressed skanky or slutty. Dress appropriately for someone who is devoted to their man.
Its really that simple.
Posted by busyeyes88It's not about controlling at all.
"Hold the phone... " (says Colombo!)...
He does not want you to go on a trip with your girls but yet he has booked a trip to Vegas with the boys and you are sitting here thinking about whether to take a trip with him instead.
I'm sorry but this not about sun signs. The man is controlling... He has to trust you!!
I had girlie trips when I was in my 20s, when I was married when I had an ex bf, I went on trips without them and there was not an ounce they could do about it.
The minute you start changing your plans to suit a man's, girl they have you under their thumbs... Stick to the script and go by the sound of your own drum. You are entitled to your girlie time as he is entitled to his. We are all individuals at the end of the day.
DO NOT CHANGE for no man!!!!!
If he doesn't like it, tell him to shove his head were the don't shine.. And let him know that you will not be controlled (unless you are tied to a four poster bed!!) by him or anyone else. And if he doesn't like it he FO!!
Its about double standards.
Get it straight, busy. LOL
Scorpio double standards are ridiculous. We KNOW that. He trusts himself. He knows his level of devotion. I'm not saying this is okay. I struggle with double standards on a daily basis. Then again, self awareness is a good thing. Try tho gently point out the double standards and then gently guide the conversation into you are as devoted to the relationship as he is. Be gentle. You don't want to stir up a power play here. Scorpio will win any power play you stir up. You don't need a power play--you need gentle understanding and compassion.
Busy, I did the Taurus thing for a few years. My GOD that man was the most controlling man of my life. He also had double standards...then again we were young and he was unwilling to give up his harem for the first few years of our dating. Shrug. I got that. I flowed with that, until I didn't and then faded away. Taurus wants pure devotion with the small print that reads--they can look and flirt. In my experience. 🙂
However, never did the Taurus thing as a mature adult--so maybe, like Scorpios, Bulls mature past that shit, too.
However, never did the Taurus thing as a mature adult--so maybe, like Scorpios, Bulls mature past that shit, too.
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