CapSunLeoMoon71
@CapSunLeoMoon71
6 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 8 · Topics: 1
Ugh!
When I was ~13, I thought that I could convey my crushes on guys telepathically to them. After I discovered that didn't tend to work, lol, I started to be direct. I have no regrets, looking back -- anyone I was really interested in was informed.
It can be tough when you have romantic feelings for a friend and you aren't sure if you should risk telling them or not, but that isn't good that she handled her hurt by distancing and not telling you why.
It can be tough when you have romantic feelings for a friend and you aren't sure if you should risk telling them or not, but that isn't good that she handled her hurt by distancing and not telling you why.
Posted by dilettante
i dunno, we dont really owe u anything 🤷🏻♀️
Maybe not. But if she can't tell me what's wrong, it isn't really my problem and she hurt herself. I wasn't responsible since there's no way for me to know. And that's now her problem. I have to play "detective" to figure this crap out? REALLY?!
Posted by dilettantePosted by CapSunLeoMoon71
I have to play "detective" to figure this crap out
you dont have to do anything you dont wanna do.
why are you so hung up about it anyway? seems like you just miss the attention she gave you
#leomoonproblemsclick to expand
1) I do miss the friendship
2) Due to prior trauma issues I'm super hyper-sensitive about people getting hurt. I take it quite personally. It really bothers me she's hurt. I feel responsible. But... I'm not. Because there was no way for me to know. But it's upsetting to me to know someone got hurt. I take it incredibly hard that idea.
Posted by Black-MambaPosted by dilettantePosted by CapSunLeoMoon71
I have to play "detective" to figure this crap out
you dont have to do anything you dont wanna do.
why are you so hung up about it anyway? seems like you just miss the attention she gave you
#leomoonproblems
cause we love our friends and hate losing them
its fuked up how people use us
click to expand
Exactly. Thank you. I already have severe abandonment issues from my past. But I try to be careful not to lay that on anybody, since I deal with it myself. But it really stings the idea of losing yet another friend. One that I cared about too.
It reminds me not to bother making friends and not to let anybody get close to me if they're just going to leave or get hurt anyway.
Posted by dilettantePosted by CapSunLeoMoon71Posted by dilettantePosted by CapSunLeoMoon71
I have to play "detective" to figure this crap out
you dont have to do anything you dont wanna do.
why are you so hung up about it anyway? seems like you just miss the attention she gave you
#leomoonproblems
1) I do miss the friendship
2) Due to prior trauma issues I'm super hyper-sensitive about people getting hurt. I take it quite personally. It really bothers me she's hurt. I feel responsible. But... I'm not. Because there was no way for me to know. But it's upsetting to me to know someone got hurt. I take it incredibly hard that idea.
imo, she doesnt really have to tell you anything. distancing herself is self protection. if she knew she was developing feelings for you & she knows you only see her as a friend, why would she put herself thru an agonizing convo about it?
maybe in her mind she doesnt feel the need to talk about it bc & she knows what the result would be. so, to spare hearing hurtful words, she distances herself.click to expand
As I said in the initial post, I get it. It's called "venting". I am venting my frustration at potentially losing a friend. Did you miss that part?
Posted by CapSunLeoMoon71Posted by Black-MambaPosted by dilettantePosted by CapSunLeoMoon71
I have to play "detective" to figure this crap out
you dont have to do anything you dont wanna do.
why are you so hung up about it anyway? seems like you just miss the attention she gave you
#leomoonproblems
cause we love our friends and hate losing them
its fuked up how people use us
Exactly. Thank you. I already have severe abandonment issues from my past. But I try to be careful not to lay that on anybody, since I deal with it myself. But it really stings the idea of losing yet another friend. One that I cared about too.
It reminds me not to bother making friends and not to let anybody get close to me if they're just going to leave or get hurt anyway.click to expand
I value friendship highly too, so I think that I can understand how you feel. I really hope that it won't stop you from forming new friendships. Maybe looking back you can see signs of her not handling emotional things in a mature way?
I think it's destructively wrong to cut a good friend off like that without explaining why, UNLESS the friend has done something truly horrible that shatters trust.
Posted by ImpulsvPosted by CopperDovePosted by CapSunLeoMoon71Posted by Black-MambaPosted by dilettantePosted by CapSunLeoMoon71
I have to play "detective" to figure this crap out
you dont have to do anything you dont wanna do.
why are you so hung up about it anyway? seems like you just miss the attention she gave you
#leomoonproblems
cause we love our friends and hate losing them
its fuked up how people use us
Exactly. Thank you. I already have severe abandonment issues from my past. But I try to be careful not to lay that on anybody, since I deal with it myself. But it really stings the idea of losing yet another friend. One that I cared about too.
It reminds me not to bother making friends and not to let anybody get close to me if they're just going to leave or get hurt anyway.
I value friendship highly too, so I think that I can understand how you feel. I really hope that it won't stop you from forming new friendships. Maybe looking back you can see signs of her not handling emotional things in a mature way?
I think it's destructively wrong to cut a good friend off like that without explaining why, UNLESS the friend has done something truly horrible that shatters trust.
Yeah like really !
kick me while I’m doing when I tell you I can’t speak to you cuz I love you n the response is yeah I don’t love. Mmm no I’m not putting myself in that conversation lolclick to expand
I didn't kick her. I got the incredibly subtle vibe, and I'm leaving her alone... free to sort out whatever she needs. And if she doesn't come back, so be it. I know that's a realistic possibility.
But in the mean time just venting my frustration on here. It's sad to see so many people here lacking empathy.
Yes, I do have empathy for her. I know she's hurt. I get it. I'm not bothering her, harassing her, or even contacting her. And I do feel bad she's hurt because of my empathy.
But it still stings. And hence my venting on here. Not to her. So, I'm not kicking anybody. Although the lack of empathy on here is incredible. And I thought Capricorn was supposed to be the cold sign.
Why don't you just ask her why she becane so distant and make an effort to start the conversation, that you want to have, yourself?
Posted by ImpulsvPosted by CopperDovePosted by CapSunLeoMoon71Posted by Black-MambaPosted by dilettantePosted by CapSunLeoMoon71
I have to play "detective" to figure this crap out
you dont have to do anything you dont wanna do.
why are you so hung up about it anyway? seems like you just miss the attention she gave you
#leomoonproblems
cause we love our friends and hate losing them
its fuked up how people use us
Exactly. Thank you. I already have severe abandonment issues from my past. But I try to be careful not to lay that on anybody, since I deal with it myself. But it really stings the idea of losing yet another friend. One that I cared about too.
It reminds me not to bother making friends and not to let anybody get close to me if they're just going to leave or get hurt anyway.
I value friendship highly too, so I think that I can understand how you feel. I really hope that it won't stop you from forming new friendships. Maybe looking back you can see signs of her not handling emotional things in a mature way?
I think it's destructively wrong to cut a good friend off like that without explaining why, UNLESS the friend has done something truly horrible that shatters trust.
Yeah like really !
kick me while I’m doing when I tell you I can’t speak to you cuz I love you n the response is yeah I don’t love. Mmm no I’m not putting myself in that conversation lolclick to expand
Probably she had romantic feelings for him for a while, and stayed in the friendship hoping for more, never stating that she wanted more. It's a common mistake that many people make that ends up being painful on both sides usually. So, being open about feelings/interest should have happened long before, then she would have found out that he only wanted friendship and that would hurt but that's the way it is sometimes, and then both of them would know each other's side of that and ending contact would make sense, no sleuthing needed.
It can be scary to tell someone that you have feelings for them, for sure, but I make myself do it to avoid situations like this. Am I scared when I have done it? Totally, lol. But I make myself do it.
Posted by CopperDovePosted by ImpulsvPosted by CopperDovePosted by CapSunLeoMoon71Posted by Black-MambaPosted by dilettantePosted by CapSunLeoMoon71
I have to play "detective" to figure this crap out
you dont have to do anything you dont wanna do.
why are you so hung up about it anyway? seems like you just miss the attention she gave you
#leomoonproblems
cause we love our friends and hate losing them
its fuked up how people use us
Exactly. Thank you. I already have severe abandonment issues from my past. But I try to be careful not to lay that on anybody, since I deal with it myself. But it really stings the idea of losing yet another friend. One that I cared about too.
It reminds me not to bother making friends and not to let anybody get close to me if they're just going to leave or get hurt anyway.
I value friendship highly too, so I think that I can understand how you feel. I really hope that it won't stop you from forming new friendships. Maybe looking back you can see signs of her not handling emotional things in a mature way?
I think it's destructively wrong to cut a good friend off like that without explaining why, UNLESS the friend has done something truly horrible that shatters trust.
Yeah like really !
kick me while I’m doing when I tell you I can’t speak to you cuz I love you n the response is yeah I don’t love. Mmm no I’m not putting myself in that conversation lol
Probably she had romantic feelings for him for a while, and stayed in the friendship hoping for more, never stating that she wanted more. It's a common mistake that many people make that ends up being painful on both sides usually. So, being open about feelings/interest should have happened long before, then she would have found out that he only wanted friendship and that would hurt but that's the way it is sometimes, and then both of them would know each other's side of that and ending contact would make sense, no sleuthing needed.
It can be scary to tell someone that you have feelings for them, for sure, but I make myself do it to avoid situations like this. Am I scared when I have done it? Totally, lol. But I make myself do it.click to expand
I told her day one I met her that I'm a bisexual male with a strong preference for men and have only been with men. I even mentioned it several times. That's why it's even more frustrating.
Posted by CapSunLeoMoon71Posted by CopperDovePosted by ImpulsvPosted by CopperDovePosted by CapSunLeoMoon71Posted by Black-MambaPosted by dilettantePosted by CapSunLeoMoon71
I have to play "detective" to figure this crap out
you dont have to do anything you dont wanna do.
why are you so hung up about it anyway? seems like you just miss the attention she gave you
#leomoonproblems
cause we love our friends and hate losing them
its fuked up how people use us
Exactly. Thank you. I already have severe abandonment issues from my past. But I try to be careful not to lay that on anybody, since I deal with it myself. But it really stings the idea of losing yet another friend. One that I cared about too.
It reminds me not to bother making friends and not to let anybody get close to me if they're just going to leave or get hurt anyway.
I value friendship highly too, so I think that I can understand how you feel. I really hope that it won't stop you from forming new friendships. Maybe looking back you can see signs of her not handling emotional things in a mature way?
I think it's destructively wrong to cut a good friend off like that without explaining why, UNLESS the friend has done something truly horrible that shatters trust.
Yeah like really !
kick me while I’m doing when I tell you I can’t speak to you cuz I love you n the response is yeah I don’t love. Mmm no I’m not putting myself in that conversation lol
Probably she had romantic feelings for him for a while, and stayed in the friendship hoping for more, never stating that she wanted more. It's a common mistake that many people make that ends up being painful on both sides usually. So, being open about feelings/interest should have happened long before, then she would have found out that he only wanted friendship and that would hurt but that's the way it is sometimes, and then both of them would know each other's side of that and ending contact would make sense, no sleuthing needed.
It can be scary to tell someone that you have feelings for them, for sure, but I make myself do it to avoid situations like this. Am I scared when I have done it? Totally, lol. But I make myself do it.
I told her day one I met her that I'm a bisexual male with a strong preference for men and have only been with men. I even mentioned it several times. That's why it's even more frustrating.click to expand
It's definitely a tough situation to be in, I can understand. And, if she is upset at you about something else, she should had addressed that directly, IMO.
Posted by starlord
Why don't you just ask her why she becane so distant and make an effort to start the conversation, that you want to have, yourself?
Because I am clearly picking up signals she's hurt, and uncomfortable around me, and not really talking to me... and being mindful of her feelings I'm trying to respect her space and leave her alone. Clearly she wants to be left alone, so.. okay. I'll do that. I figure if I don't, I'll just be making the situation worse. Because what I understand of Scorpios, when they're hurt and withdrawn it's better just to leave them alone and let them have their space. At least, that's what I keep hearing.
And I have no illusions I might not hear from her again, depending on if she can get over things or not.
But, it sucks.
Posted by CapSunLeoMoon71Posted by starlord
Why don't you just ask her why she becane so distant and make an effort to start the conversation, that you want to have, yourself?
Because I am clearly picking up signals she's hurt, and uncomfortable around me, and not really talking to me... and being mindful of her feelings I'm trying to respect her space and leave her alone. Clearly she wants to be left alone, so.. okay. I'll do that. I figure if I don't, I'll just be making the situation worse. Because what I understand of Scorpios, when they're hurt and withdrawn it's better just to leave them alone and let them have their space. At least, that's what I keep hearing.
And I have no illusions I might not hear from her again, depending on if she can get over things or not.
But, it sucks.click to expand
Okay.
Just seems like in this situation you are the subtle one, meaning you are picking up on a bunch of stuff, instead of being the direct one and just ask.
I personally would like it if a person tried to talk about things, it would make me feel cares for, although maybe not in the way I wanted, but still. And that would make things easier. 🤷🏼♀️
Posted by CapSunLeoMoon71Posted by starlord
Why don't you just ask her why she becane so distant and make an effort to start the conversation, that you want to have, yourself?
Because I am clearly picking up signals she's hurt, and uncomfortable around me, and not really talking to me... and being mindful of her feelings I'm trying to respect her space and leave her alone. Clearly she wants to be left alone, so.. okay. I'll do that. I figure if I don't, I'll just be making the situation worse. Because what I understand of Scorpios, when they're hurt and withdrawn it's better just to leave them alone and let them have their space. At least, that's what I keep hearing.
And I have no illusions I might not hear from her again, depending on if she can get over things or not.
But, it sucks.click to expand
She will deal with her feelings in her own time. But If you really care and you are concerned about it, will be more easy to contact her and ask directly how she is..Scorpio people are usually very direct
You sound like you’re totally in love with your Scorpio friend. Or her attention that you’re no longer gettting. Lol
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