Nameless Nemean
@Chuckcem
14 Years5,000+ Posts
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Thought Experiment: Your Orgasm or...?
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"First let's say that you had the option between two scenarios. In scenario A you orgasm multiple times, but your partner rarely orgasms at all (they orgasm 1 in 7 times). In scenario B you have a partner who is guaranteed to climax at least once, but you may not climax with them (you climax 1 in 4 times). Which scenario would you prefer between A or B and why? "
This one was easy to answer.. B, It's a turn on for me when my partner reaches orgasm. Their needs mean more to me... simpliest way to explain it.
"Second let's say that there is another partner, scenario C, who only climaxes via oral sex. In this scenario you know you'll reach orgasm once or twice with this partner. Would that feel like a compromise between scenario A and B? Would it bother you that this partner's method to climax was never vaginal? Would it make you feel self-conscious at all? "
I't's a compromise, i suppose, they reached orgasm, but i'd still prefer it during the actual act. No, it wouldnt bother me.
i would feel more bonded to someone that I can achieve orgasm with through the actual act not just oral stimulation.
This one was easy to answer.. B, It's a turn on for me when my partner reaches orgasm. Their needs mean more to me... simpliest way to explain it.
"Second let's say that there is another partner, scenario C, who only climaxes via oral sex. In this scenario you know you'll reach orgasm once or twice with this partner. Would that feel like a compromise between scenario A and B? Would it bother you that this partner's method to climax was never vaginal? Would it make you feel self-conscious at all? "
I't's a compromise, i suppose, they reached orgasm, but i'd still prefer it during the actual act. No, it wouldnt bother me.
i would feel more bonded to someone that I can achieve orgasm with through the actual act not just oral stimulation.
Posted by justagirlInteresting, I honestly didn't expect such a direct response so quickly since there are a lot of different feelings on this topic. So for you scenario C would be preferable to both B and A. In which case you would prefer a scenario that would essentially yield the most possible orgasms for both partners.
"First let's say that you had the option between two scenarios. In scenario A you orgasm multiple times, but your partner rarely orgasms at all (they orgasm 1 in 7 times). In scenario B you have a partner who is guaranteed to climax at least once, but you may not climax with them (you climax 1 in 4 times). Which scenario would you prefer between A or B and why? "
This one was easy to answer.. B, It's a turn on for me when my partner reaches orgasm. Their needs mean more to me... simpliest way to explain it.
"Second let's say that there is another partner, scenario C, who only climaxes via oral sex. In this scenario you know you'll reach orgasm once or twice with this partner. Would that feel like a compromise between scenario A and B? Would it bother you that this partner's method to climax was never vaginal? Would it make you feel self-conscious at all? "
I't's a compromise, i suppose, they reached orgasm, but i'd still prefer it during the actual act. No, it wouldnt bother me.
i would feel more bonded to someone that I can achieve orgasm with through the actual act not just oral stimulation.
Staying still within the hypothetical realm, could you be with a person with whom you NEVER reached climax?
Posted by xXxBitcheroniiiXxXRight, but part of the question is what if he doesn't orgasm? Would you go with scenario A or C? It sounds like B wouldn't be an option for you.
Women and men are hardwired differently.
It's a well known fact that the typical man reaches orgasm faster and easier than the typical woman.
Therefore, my orgasm is more important to me. Not because I don't care about him getting off, but because I know he will. My orgasm isn't guaranteed.
Most guys know this too. Hence why (if he's a good lover) he'll be focused on getting his woman off first.
Posted by ChuckcemNo you misunderstood me and now I'm even confused. LolPosted by justagirlInteresting, I honestly didn't expect such a direct response so quickly since there are a lot of different feelings on this topic. So for you scenario C would be preferable to both B and A. In which case you would prefer a scenario that would essentially yield the most possible orgasms for both partners.
"First let's say that you had the option between two scenarios. In scenario A you orgasm multiple times, but your partner rarely orgasms at all (they orgasm 1 in 7 times). In scenario B you have a partner who is guaranteed to climax at least once, but you may not climax with them (you climax 1 in 4 times). Which scenario would you prefer between A or B and why? "
This one was easy to answer.. B, It's a turn on for me when my partner reaches orgasm. Their needs mean more to me... simpliest way to explain it.
"Second let's say that there is another partner, scenario C, who only climaxes via oral sex. In this scenario you know you'll reach orgasm once or twice with this partner. Would that feel like a compromise between scenario A and B? Would it bother you that this partner's method to climax was never vaginal? Would it make you feel self-conscious at all? "
I't's a compromise, i suppose, they reached orgasm, but i'd still prefer it during the actual act. No, it wouldnt bother me.
i would feel more bonded to someone that I can achieve orgasm with through the actual act not just oral stimulation.
Staying still within the hypothetical realm, could you be with a person with whom you NEVER reached climax?click to expand
I have always been about my partners pleasure, it turns me on to bring them to orgasm, whether it's orally or from intercourse. Like super duper turn on, their is power in doing that. š¤·āāļø
I was just saying someone only getting off orally wouldn't bother me, but I'd prefer it from fucking to put it crudely. Lol
I find it more intimate to reach climax together if it's possible or close to the same time.
Posted by ChuckcemTo answer your last part, I did for two years.Posted by justagirlInteresting, I honestly didn't expect such a direct response so quickly since there are a lot of different feelings on this topic. So for you scenario C would be preferable to both B and A. In which case you would prefer a scenario that would essentially yield the most possible orgasms for both partners.
"First let's say that you had the option between two scenarios. In scenario A you orgasm multiple times, but your partner rarely orgasms at all (they orgasm 1 in 7 times). In scenario B you have a partner who is guaranteed to climax at least once, but you may not climax with them (you climax 1 in 4 times). Which scenario would you prefer between A or B and why? "
This one was easy to answer.. B, It's a turn on for me when my partner reaches orgasm. Their needs mean more to me... simpliest way to explain it.
"Second let's say that there is another partner, scenario C, who only climaxes via oral sex. In this scenario you know you'll reach orgasm once or twice with this partner. Would that feel like a compromise between scenario A and B? Would it bother you that this partner's method to climax was never vaginal? Would it make you feel self-conscious at all? "
I't's a compromise, i suppose, they reached orgasm, but i'd still prefer it during the actual act. No, it wouldnt bother me.
i would feel more bonded to someone that I can achieve orgasm with through the actual act not just oral stimulation.
Staying still within the hypothetical realm, could you be with a person with whom you NEVER reached climax?click to expand
Posted by RooSagicornThat's a fair breakdown. For the sake of discuss, let's just pretend you HAD to choose a scenario that you would have to live with forever starting today. Which would it be? Sounds like scenario C may be preferable for you if that were the case.
I canāt just pick a scenario.. letās see how old are we? In your teens and 20ās, 30ās, or 40ās and older. My answers would be different at different times. Because the ability to have multiple orgasms or speed of that changes for men & women.
But letās see, overall I would prefer we both orgasm at the same time vaginally. Bonding - well it isnāt necessary to be that way though. There is something about the experience of trying lots of different positions or ways to reach orgasm that can be bonding too, and sometimes more intimate.
In my 20ās, oh the guy would orgasm fast, so yeah I want him to work on getting mine first or else I wonāt get it. And when the happens every single time, it sucks.
In my 30ās, omg orgasms galore, Iād have multiple before him - even if we were going for together. So yeah Iād like to spend more time helping him get his.
In my 40ās & 50ās, itās harder for guys.. than before, so yeah letās concentrate on you baby! š I mean itās great if you want to concentrate on me but I feel really bad if that affects you getting yours.
I guess what does that say? I donāt prefer getting mine over his, or him over me, I want us both to. And how it happens isn't as important as enjoying the experience & making each other feel good ( orgasm or not) but then Iāve had a few years of experience. Lol
Posted by GeminiGirl052388So worst case scenario, you'd go with scenario B if you had to choose.
I prefer his over mine. Always. Fortunate tho that my recent ex is the same. He prefers mine over his. Balanced things out hahaha
Posted by dustbunnyI think most people would prefer orgasms on both ends, but for the sake of discussion I presented three options that were less than optimal.
Umm I'd prefer if we both orgasm.
But this scenario only takes my thoughts into account. It depends on what my partner prefers too.
C is my least favourite. A and B seems equally unsatisfying.
In the case of B the no. of orgasms come to around 2 out of 8 which is a better frequency than 1 out of 7 (the case of A). If the no. of orgasms were increased to 1 out of 2 for me.. I'd be ok.
Your response is interesting because you would prefer 1-2 orgasms with your partner, but didn't like scenario C. The orgasms are important, but the method of climax is more so, correct?
Iād pick c. I get my nut and when Iām done with that I bust out with the finisher for him( oral). But scenario a and b arenāt clear. Is this all the time or just once?
Posted by onedayIt sounds that a lot of women prefer the scenarios where their partners reach orgasm over them. So for you it's fine if you orgasm from a method outside of vaginal (though vaginal is preferred), but you would prefer that your partner to climax from vaginal sex.Posted by Chuckcem1. Scenario B - because I definitely put my partners pleasure first, not only does it turn me on more when they are pleased ...but if there is one of us whom has to give up the possibility of an orgasm I would sarcrifice mine especially if I care for them*
First let's say that you had the option between two scenarios. In scenario A you orgasm multiple times, but your partner rarely orgasms at all (they orgasm 1 in 7 times). In scenario B you have a partner who is guaranteed to climax at least once, but you may not climax with them (you climax 1 in 4 times). Which scenario would you prefer between A or B and why?
Second let's say that there is another partner, scenario C, who only climaxes via oral sex. In this scenario you know you'll reach orgasm once or twice with this partner. Would that feel like a compromise between scenario A and B? Would it bother you that this partner's method to climax was never vaginal? Would it make you feel self-conscious at all?
Lastly, which partner would you honestly feel the most connection with in the bedroom?
(This question is open to all women of all sexual preferences. Be sure to throw in your Sun, Venus, and Mars for fun.)
2. This would make me feel self conscious, I mean I will take it over them not having one at all. But deep down I would question if I am the one doing something wrong or turning them off in a way.
3. I would feel more connected with someone whom has an orgasm vaginally, and whom can make me orgasm vaginally as well.
But to be honest here, I hardly get to an orgasm vaginally. Once in awhile it happens, and I cherish those times let me tell you lol but majority of time I can only orgasm from oral or touching. I sort of feel bad about this although I can't help it, I don't want my partner feeling inadequate or like they have to work extra hard for me.click to expand
Posted by InsertusernameHypothetically speaking, this would be all of the time. Imagine you had to choose a scenario that extended past a hookup (possibly the rest of your life). Your partner would be someone you grew to love and cherish. Then imagine that you had to choose one of these scenarios.
Iād pick c. I get my nut and when Iām done with that I bust out with the finisher for him( oral). But scenario a and b arenāt clear. Is this all the time or just once?
Basically I'm looking to shine a light on the emotional and physical significance of orgasms. Like you, some women have opted for C because it seems like a balance for both parties. Other women have opted for B because they are more concerned with their partners' enjoyment and want to experience the connection from vaginal sex (as opposed to oral). As I write this, I've yet to see anyone choose to receive all of the orgasms from option A.
You don't see woman picking A because we are natural nurturers and givers, typically.
Posted by ChuckcemIād pick b. I feel like that scenario already happens. I know I am not going to orgasm every time. Option A is kinda selfish. I kinda see it as quality over quantity . C is a great compromise but I donāt always want to have to give oral in order for him to finish. It wouldnāt insult me though, just get old.Posted by InsertusernameHypothetically speaking, this would be all of the time. Imagine you had to choose a scenario that extended past a hookup (possibly the rest of your life). Your partner would be someone you grew to love and cherish. Then imagine that you had to choose one of these scenarios.
Iād pick c. I get my nut and when Iām done with that I bust out with the finisher for him( oral). But scenario a and b arenāt clear. Is this all the time or just once?
Basically I'm looking to shine a light on the emotional and physical significance of orgasms. Like you, some women have opted for C because it seems like a balance for both parties. Other women have opted for B because they are more concerned with their partners' enjoyment and want to experience the connection from vaginal sex (as opposed to oral). As I write this, I've yet to see anyone choose to receive all of the orgasms from option A.click to expand
Posted by InsertusernameThat makes sense too. Looks like scenario B is the most popular because it's the most realistic and/or the most emotinonally satisfying.Posted by ChuckcemIād pick b. I feel like that scenario already happens. I know I am not going to orgasm every time. Option A is kinda selfish. I kinda see it as quality over quantity . C is a great compromise but I donāt always want to have to give oral in order for him to finish. It wouldnāt insult me though, just get old.Posted by InsertusernameHypothetically speaking, this would be all of the time. Imagine you had to choose a scenario that extended past a hookup (possibly the rest of your life). Your partner would be someone you grew to love and cherish. Then imagine that you had to choose one of these scenarios.
Iād pick c. I get my nut and when Iām done with that I bust out with the finisher for him( oral). But scenario a and b arenāt clear. Is this all the time or just once?
Basically I'm looking to shine a light on the emotional and physical significance of orgasms. Like you, some women have opted for C because it seems like a balance for both parties. Other women have opted for B because they are more concerned with their partners' enjoyment and want to experience the connection from vaginal sex (as opposed to oral). As I write this, I've yet to see anyone choose to receive all of the orgasms from option A.
click to expand
I do find it interesting that given a hypothetical situation, a few women have still opted for this scenario because it matches real life as opposed to going with the more self serving option.
Posted by justagirlGranted, it's just interesting to see the clear response given the hypothetical.
You don't see woman picking A because we are natural nurturers and givers, typically.
Posted by edgelordI probably should have posed this question in an earlier response, but would you say that the idea of climaxing is far more stressful than it's worth? Sounds like you're going with option B or would C also be preferable?
i'd prefer she orgasm all day long. i'm actually not someone who gives a shit about if i do or not. and sometimes it's stressful because they want for me to and i can't. it's not easy to get me there. like really really difficult. i can't have internal orgasms at all. and from oral it's like a once every 20 times or so. that's a generous estimate. the easiest way for me to is with the hands. trust me being a lesbian who isn't totally into receiving oral gets a lot of "i'm gay too" and "i just want to make you feel good too" not realizing that all that is doing is stressing me out and making it even harder for me to.
Oh snap most of Us forgot our placements
Aqua sun, sag moon,venus and mars.
Aqua sun, sag moon,venus and mars.
I would choose B. Iād rather see the man I love happy and satisfied more than myself.
One of the biggest turn ons Iāve ever felt was him climaxing just by making me do the same. I wasnāt even touching him. Iām trying to keep this PG-13 rated so I wonāt go into details. Lol
So Iām good with him just getting to the good moment even if I canāt every time. I still enjoy it regardless.
Sometimes Iām tired and fake it. I donāt know if thatās wrong or not. From a male perspective would you rather she say she just canāt or would it be better if you thought she did so you can? Ignorance is bliss sometimes. I donāt know what the right answer is when these things happen occasionally.
Gemini sun, Taurus Venus and mars š
One of the biggest turn ons Iāve ever felt was him climaxing just by making me do the same. I wasnāt even touching him. Iām trying to keep this PG-13 rated so I wonāt go into details. Lol
So Iām good with him just getting to the good moment even if I canāt every time. I still enjoy it regardless.
Sometimes Iām tired and fake it. I donāt know if thatās wrong or not. From a male perspective would you rather she say she just canāt or would it be better if you thought she did so you can? Ignorance is bliss sometimes. I donāt know what the right answer is when these things happen occasionally.
Gemini sun, Taurus Venus and mars š
Honestly any of these senerios might bother me if our emotional bond doesn't feel secure. But if that's solid I'm not keeping score of whose getting off more.
This also doesn't account for the orgasms we'd get solo, plus any differences in libido.
How we both finish is less important to me then finishing to begin with. I need some variety though so we gotta keep switching it up. Routine is the kiss of death.
I will say I find it incredible sexy to be all about the other persons pleasure. And when he goes back to back it makes you feel super desirable.
This also doesn't account for the orgasms we'd get solo, plus any differences in libido.
How we both finish is less important to me then finishing to begin with. I need some variety though so we gotta keep switching it up. Routine is the kiss of death.
I will say I find it incredible sexy to be all about the other persons pleasure. And when he goes back to back it makes you feel super desirable.
Senerio B is the reality for most women. Although 1 in 4 would be generous.
Posted by HippieGemPersonally I would rather a woman be honest. Like any part of a relationship a healthy sex life needs communication between the partners.
I would choose B. Iād rather see the man I love happy and satisfied more than myself.
One of the biggest turn ons Iāve ever felt was him climaxing just by making me do the same. I wasnāt even touching him. Iām trying to keep this PG-13 rated so I wonāt go into details. Lol
So Iām good with him just getting to the good moment even if I canāt every time. I still enjoy it regardless.
Sometimes Iām tired and fake it. I donāt know if thatās wrong or not. From a male perspective would you rather she say she just canāt or would it be better if you thought she did so you can? Ignorance is bliss sometimes. I donāt know what the right answer is when these things happen occasionally.
Gemini sun, Taurus Venus and mars š
Posted by dustbunnyI should clarify too, in scenario C your orgasms are not limited to vaginal or oral. You could climax however you want. Your partner's orgasm however is limited to oral.Posted by ChuckcemWell for me personally, yes. If we get into the finer details it's got to be a combo of oral and v penetration. But yes I do prefer penetration as a final act.Posted by dustbunnyI think most people would prefer orgasms on both ends, but for the sake of discussion I presented three options that were less than optimal.
Umm I'd prefer if we both orgasm.
But this scenario only takes my thoughts into account. It depends on what my partner prefers too.
C is my least favourite. A and B seems equally unsatisfying.
In the case of B the no. of orgasms come to around 2 out of 8 which is a better frequency than 1 out of 7 (the case of A). If the no. of orgasms were increased to 1 out of 2 for me.. I'd be ok.
Your response is interesting because you would prefer 1-2 orgasms with your partner, but didn't like scenario C. The orgasms are important, but the method of climax is more so, correct?
I hope I didn't confuse you. I think I'm speaking gibberish.click to expand
It sounds as if C would still not be a good scenario for you though, correct?
Posted by LadyNeptuneThat's part of what I'm poking at with these questions. I'm more interested in the nature of the decision rather than the answer itself. The answer however is still intriguing.
Honestly any of these senerios might bother me if our emotional bond doesn't feel secure. But if that's solid I'm not keeping score of whose getting off more.
This also doesn't account for the orgasms we'd get solo, plus any differences in libido.
How we both finish is less important to me then finishing to begin with. I need some variety though so we gotta keep switching it up. Routine is the kiss of death.
I will say I find it incredible sexy to be all about the other persons pleasure. And when he goes back to back it makes you feel super desirable.
I didn't ask about other orgasms because I'm focused more on the emotinoal connection and importance orgasms have between two people from the female mindset. Hence I'm not accounting for solo play. Also for the sake of discussion let's assume that both partners have matching libidos, just so we can remove that as a potential obstacle.
From what you're saying though, option B is more desirable because it's actually better than reality. At the same time you said that if the emotional connection was strong (which I left vague for a reason), you wouldn't care how many orgasms each person had. In which case would you be fine with scenario A?
Posted by RooSagicornFascinating, I can't tell who would be the more generous lovers (the Bs or Cs).Posted by ChuckcemI would pick C. I would want us both to get orgasms however that worked. Oral is fine. But ya know I would prefer to mix it up. Itās really about the person and working together as a team for me, so whatever works as long as we are both concerned about each otherās needs.Posted by RooSagicornThat's a fair breakdown. For the sake of discuss, let's just pretend you HAD to choose a scenario that you would have to live with forever starting today. Which would it be? Sounds like scenario C may be preferable for you if that were the case.
I canāt just pick a scenario.. letās see how old are we? In your teens and 20ās, 30ās, or 40ās and older. My answers would be different at different times. Because the ability to have multiple orgasms or speed of that changes for men & women.
But letās see, overall I would prefer we both orgasm at the same time vaginally. Bonding - well it isnāt necessary to be that way though. There is something about the experience of trying lots of different positions or ways to reach orgasm that can be bonding too, and sometimes more intimate.
In my 20ās, oh the guy would orgasm fast, so yeah I want him to work on getting mine first or else I wonāt get it. And when the happens every single time, it sucks.
In my 30ās, omg orgasms galore, Iād have multiple before him - even if we were going for together. So yeah Iād like to spend more time helping him get his.
In my 40ās & 50ās, itās harder for guys.. than before, so yeah letās concentrate on you baby! š I mean itās great if you want to concentrate on me but I feel really bad if that affects you getting yours.
I guess what does that say? I donāt prefer getting mine over his, or him over me, I want us both to. And how it happens isn't as important as enjoying the experience & making each other feel good ( orgasm or not) but then Iāve had a few years of experience. Lol
click to expand
Posted by LibraMudraSo are you going for scenario A?
Pace yourself for me so we can do it together.
But since I've only been with people who are garaunteed to orgasm, mine is more important. Bc I will work for it with my mouth to get him to after lol. It also takes more for me to get there so...
Posted by RozaeonFair enough, assume that these partners are decent communicators.
1) Scenario B, because i simply can't take any pleasure in sex if i know that my partner is not satisfied. However, when my partner and me will know each other really well ( like, i'm 100% confortable with him ) and after some communication ( because i think it's key here too ), sometimes i will want to switch roles so to speak and my pleasure will come first
2) No i don't feel that this is a compromise because oral sex is part of the foreplay so if i can orgasm after and not him ( even if he did before ) i'll feel like something is missing
So no it will not bother me or make me self-conscious i'll try to understand why, and i'll try to think of something more creative ( or even fun why not ? haha ) to make him reach orgasm. I'll suggest that we try other things too
3) I don't know because you didn't mention how open these guys are, how wiling to communicate they are etc and for me, i can't have a connection if the partner isn't able to make me fantasize first, it's really important
Libra sun, Virgo venus
Posted by LibraMudraCan't be mad at that.Posted by ChuckcemYah. Takes a bit to get me there.Posted by LibraMudraSo are you going for scenario A?
Pace yourself for me so we can do it together.
But since I've only been with people who are garaunteed to orgasm, mine is more important. Bc I will work for it with my mouth to get him to after lol. It also takes more for me to get there so...click to expand
Posted by Blue_FroggieAnd one more for the A's. In this scenario you are guaranteed a few orgasms, definitely more than 1 or 2.
I will pick A and all the O's left by the remaining girls who posted before me... Now I wonder how many O's I would get, more like zeros š
Thank you very much for this hypothetical scenario ššš
Posted by justagirlOh got it, that makes sense.Posted by ChuckcemNo you misunderstood me and now I'm even confused. LolPosted by justagirlInteresting, I honestly didn't expect such a direct response so quickly since there are a lot of different feelings on this topic. So for you scenario C would be preferable to both B and A. In which case you would prefer a scenario that would essentially yield the most possible orgasms for both partners.
"First let's say that you had the option between two scenarios. In scenario A you orgasm multiple times, but your partner rarely orgasms at all (they orgasm 1 in 7 times). In scenario B you have a partner who is guaranteed to climax at least once, but you may not climax with them (you climax 1 in 4 times). Which scenario would you prefer between A or B and why? "
This one was easy to answer.. B, It's a turn on for me when my partner reaches orgasm. Their needs mean more to me... simpliest way to explain it.
"Second let's say that there is another partner, scenario C, who only climaxes via oral sex. In this scenario you know you'll reach orgasm once or twice with this partner. Would that feel like a compromise between scenario A and B? Would it bother you that this partner's method to climax was never vaginal? Would it make you feel self-conscious at all? "
I't's a compromise, i suppose, they reached orgasm, but i'd still prefer it during the actual act. No, it wouldnt bother me.
i would feel more bonded to someone that I can achieve orgasm with through the actual act not just oral stimulation.
Staying still within the hypothetical realm, could you be with a person with whom you NEVER reached climax?
I have always been about my partners pleasure, it turns me on to bring them to orgasm, whether it's orally or from intercourse. Like super duper turn on, their is power in doing that. š¤·āāļø
I was just saying someone only getting off orally wouldn't bother me, but I'd prefer it from fucking to put it crudely. Lol
I find it more intimate to reach climax together if it's possible or close to the same time.click to expand
Posted by Chuckcem
Been a while since I've posted here, so here's a thought experiment. Forgive me if this has already been done.
Ladies, what is more important, your orgasm or your partner's orgasm? To give more perspective, assume your partner is someone you're possibly interested in and not a one time fling/random hookup. There are three questions.
First let's say that you had the option between two scenarios. In scenario A you orgasm multiple times, but your partner rarely orgasms at all (they orgasm 1 in 7 times). In scenario B you have a partner who is guaranteed to climax at least once, but you may not climax with them (you climax 1 in 4 times). Which scenario would you prefer between A or B and why?
Second let's say that there is another partner, scenario C, who only climaxes via oral sex. In this scenario you know you'll reach orgasm once or twice with this partner. Would that feel like a compromise between scenario A and B? Would it bother you that this partner's method to climax was never vaginal? Would it make you feel self-conscious at all?
Lastly, which partner would you honestly feel the most connection with in the bedroom?
(This question is open to all women of all sexual preferences. Be sure to throw in your Sun, Venus, and Mars for fun.)
Scenario B cuz its fun to know hes loving it .. yes, it would make me feel somewhat self conscious .. none of the above I would feel the most connection with
Posted by SofiaV87So in this case as long as your partner is happy, you're willing to forego a potential climax.Posted by Chuckcem
Been a while since I've posted here, so here's a thought experiment. Forgive me if this has already been done.
Ladies, what is more important, your orgasm or your partner's orgasm? To give more perspective, assume your partner is someone you're possibly interested in and not a one time fling/random hookup. There are three questions.
First let's say that you had the option between two scenarios. In scenario A you orgasm multiple times, but your partner rarely orgasms at all (they orgasm 1 in 7 times). In scenario B you have a partner who is guaranteed to climax at least once, but you may not climax with them (you climax 1 in 4 times). Which scenario would you prefer between A or B and why?
Second let's say that there is another partner, scenario C, who only climaxes via oral sex. In this scenario you know you'll reach orgasm once or twice with this partner. Would that feel like a compromise between scenario A and B? Would it bother you that this partner's method to climax was never vaginal? Would it make you feel self-conscious at all?
Lastly, which partner would you honestly feel the most connection with in the bedroom?
(This question is open to all women of all sexual preferences. Be sure to throw in your Sun, Venus, and Mars for fun.)
Scenario B cuz its fun to know hes loving it .. yes, it would make me feel somewhat self conscious .. none of the above I would feel the most connection with
click to expand
Posted by ChuckcemYes, in this casePosted by SofiaV87So in this case as long as your partner is happy, you're willing to forego a potential climax.Posted by Chuckcem
Been a while since I've posted here, so here's a thought experiment. Forgive me if this has already been done.
Ladies, what is more important, your orgasm or your partner's orgasm? To give more perspective, assume your partner is someone you're possibly interested in and not a one time fling/random hookup. There are three questions.
First let's say that you had the option between two scenarios. In scenario A you orgasm multiple times, but your partner rarely orgasms at all (they orgasm 1 in 7 times). In scenario B you have a partner who is guaranteed to climax at least once, but you may not climax with them (you climax 1 in 4 times). Which scenario would you prefer between A or B and why?
Second let's say that there is another partner, scenario C, who only climaxes via oral sex. In this scenario you know you'll reach orgasm once or twice with this partner. Would that feel like a compromise between scenario A and B? Would it bother you that this partner's method to climax was never vaginal? Would it make you feel self-conscious at all?
Lastly, which partner would you honestly feel the most connection with in the bedroom?
(This question is open to all women of all sexual preferences. Be sure to throw in your Sun, Venus, and Mars for fun.)
Scenario B cuz its fun to know hes loving it .. yes, it would make me feel somewhat self conscious .. none of the above I would feel the most connection with
click to expand
Posted by Blue_FroggieThis is another reason I posed the question. Basically what you're saying is that the partner (in this case a guy) should orgasm for the connection, emotional or otherwise, to feel sound.
I feel it would be more helpful to understand their take if you were to ask the women how often they orgasm and if it is easy to get then there...
Ideally even if we were to orgasm every single time and if the guy were not to orgasm, it's gonna mind fuck us more than the guy... there won't be a true happy ending for the couple.
I assumed many women do not climax frequently, so I wanted to see what the response would be if given the ability to choose.
Posted by RozaeonWell that's a new response. From what you're saying, you would use scenario C to your advantage to explore other opportunities in the bedroom.Posted by ChuckcemHmm i would choose C then because i think that we could exlpore much more things together, like, for example, what other things can make him go crazy ? What are his limits etc etc, the discovery is more exciting so i'll be more connected to him if that makes sensePosted by RozaeonFair enough, assume that these partners are decent communicators.
1) Scenario B, because i simply can't take any pleasure in sex if i know that my partner is not satisfied. However, when my partner and me will know each other really well ( like, i'm 100% confortable with him ) and after some communication ( because i think it's key here too ), sometimes i will want to switch roles so to speak and my pleasure will come first
2) No i don't feel that this is a compromise because oral sex is part of the foreplay so if i can orgasm after and not him ( even if he did before ) i'll feel like something is missing
So no it will not bother me or make me self-conscious i'll try to understand why, and i'll try to think of something more creative ( or even fun why not ? haha ) to make him reach orgasm. I'll suggest that we try other things too
3) I don't know because you didn't mention how open these guys are, how wiling to communicate they are etc and for me, i can't have a connection if the partner isn't able to make me fantasize first, it's really important
Libra sun, Virgo venus
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Posted by dustbunnyCorrect, let's assume that the guy is neutral about the scenario (meaning he's just happy to get laid).Posted by ChuckcemOk I'm gonna get a little explicit.Posted by dustbunnyI should clarify too, in scenario C your orgasms are not limited to vaginal or oral. You could climax however you want. Your partner's orgasm however is limited to oral.Posted by ChuckcemWell for me personally, yes. If we get into the finer details it's got to be a combo of oral and v penetration. But yes I do prefer penetration as a final act.Posted by dustbunnyI think most people would prefer orgasms on both ends, but for the sake of discussion I presented three options that were less than optimal.
Umm I'd prefer if we both orgasm.
But this scenario only takes my thoughts into account. It depends on what my partner prefers too.
C is my least favourite. A and B seems equally unsatisfying.
In the case of B the no. of orgasms come to around 2 out of 8 which is a better frequency than 1 out of 7 (the case of A). If the no. of orgasms were increased to 1 out of 2 for me.. I'd be ok.
Your response is interesting because you would prefer 1-2 orgasms with your partner, but didn't like scenario C. The orgasms are important, but the method of climax is more so, correct?
I hope I didn't confuse you. I think I'm speaking gibberish.
It sounds as if C would still not be a good scenario for you though, correct?
The case of C is: I have n number of orgasms... whilst he doesn't with penetration but then he does via oral.. only?
If that's what you mean then I'd be a little sad.. for him. If he doesn't mind then I'm okay with it. In this case it's him not being able to cum via penetration so it's more of his feelings I should consider. So yea if it's like he's sad I'd definitely be sad. If he's okay I'd be okay because really I'm getting everything that I want.click to expand
Posted by RozaeonI've actually been the guy in Scenario C before (her getting off first, then me getting off later with oral). I've told past gilrfriends that I'm hard nut to crack until they get to know me.Posted by ChuckcemSomething like that yes ^^Posted by RozaeonWell that's a new response. From what you're saying, you would use scenario C to your advantage to explore other opportunities in the bedroom.Posted by ChuckcemHmm i would choose C then because i think that we could exlpore much more things together, like, for example, what other things can make him go crazy ? What are his limits etc etc, the discovery is more exciting so i'll be more connected to him if that makes sensePosted by RozaeonFair enough, assume that these partners are decent communicators.
1) Scenario B, because i simply can't take any pleasure in sex if i know that my partner is not satisfied. However, when my partner and me will know each other really well ( like, i'm 100% confortable with him ) and after some communication ( because i think it's key here too ), sometimes i will want to switch roles so to speak and my pleasure will come first
2) No i don't feel that this is a compromise because oral sex is part of the foreplay so if i can orgasm after and not him ( even if he did before ) i'll feel like something is missing
So no it will not bother me or make me self-conscious i'll try to understand why, and i'll try to think of something more creative ( or even fun why not ? haha ) to make him reach orgasm. I'll suggest that we try other things too
3) I don't know because you didn't mention how open these guys are, how wiling to communicate they are etc and for me, i can't have a connection if the partner isn't able to make me fantasize first, it's really important
Libra sun, Virgo venus
I only go for really dominant men even though i'm a control freak myself so, it can be a good opportunity to take full charge of his pleasure and experience new things with him
What are your thoughts on this topic, if the scenarios were women what would you choose and why ?click to expand
As a guy these questions make less sense because our orgasms don't function the same way. I wouldn't expect to have multiple orgasms (at least not in a single session), just one maybe two GOOD ones. Also I'm not a selfish lover and take the time to learn the cues from any woman I'm with, so A is out. The woman I'm with is definitely going to get hers more than once every 7 times.
B seems like it would it would actually put the woman off. Sure she is getting hers, but if I'm only climaxing 1 out of 4 times, she'll probably start to doubt her effectiveness. Then there are some women who have an easier time reaching orgasm through clitoral stimulation as opposed to vaginal penetration, so C is actually a more realistic option in a man's case.
In which case I'd have to go with C, that way the woman could still climax (even if it was from oral) and not feel bad that I didn't.
Posted by ChuckcemThabks,and good point. Honesty is always the best way to go in every aspect of a relationship.Posted by HippieGemPersonally I would rather a woman be honest. Like any part of a relationship a healthy sex life needs communication between the partners.
I would choose B. Iād rather see the man I love happy and satisfied more than myself.
One of the biggest turn ons Iāve ever felt was him climaxing just by making me do the same. I wasnāt even touching him. Iām trying to keep this PG-13 rated so I wonāt go into details. Lol
So Iām good with him just getting to the good moment even if I canāt every time. I still enjoy it regardless.
Sometimes Iām tired and fake it. I donāt know if thatās wrong or not. From a male perspective would you rather she say she just canāt or would it be better if you thought she did so you can? Ignorance is bliss sometimes. I donāt know what the right answer is when these things happen occasionally.
Gemini sun, Taurus Venus and mars šclick to expand
Posted by onedayPosted by ChuckcemYou're in the norm. Don't feel bad. Most women have a hard time climaxing through vaginal penetration alone. Most women need at least 1-2 orgasms via oral / manual stimulation before vaginal penetration starts to feel the best and can definitely lead to orgasm. Most guys think that their penis in your vagina should be enough though because of porn.lol
But to be honest here, I hardly get to an orgasm vaginally. Once in awhile it happens, and I cherish those times let me tell you lol but majority of time I can only orgasm from oral or touching. I sort of feel bad about this although I can't help it, I don't want my partner feeling inadequate or like they have to work extra hard for me.click to expand
I'm worried about how you view yourself / self worth though.
You deserve to be with a partner who WANTS to please you...no matter how long or how much effort.
Every woman does.
The thought of going down on you for however long it takes for you to climax should be a turn on for him.
The thought of prolonging his climax so that you can climax should also turn him on.
Posted by onedayPosted by Adreamuponwakinghe was a bad lover then.Posted by onedayI guess I may be like this because my most recent ex complained about how its hard work and how he wishes I could climax during sex because it was be a better connection.Posted by ChuckcemYou're in the norm. Don't feel bad. Most women have a hard time climaxing through vaginal penetration alone. Most women need at least 1-2 orgasms via oral / manual stimulation before vaginal penetration starts to feel the best and can definitely lead to orgasm. Most guys think that their penis in your vagina should be enough though because of porn.lol
But to be honest here, I hardly get to an orgasm vaginally. Once in awhile it happens, and I cherish those times let me tell you lol but majority of time I can only orgasm from oral or touching. I sort of feel bad about this although I can't help it, I don't want my partner feeling inadequate or like they have to work extra hard for me.
I'm worried about how you view yourself / self worth though.
You deserve to be with a partner who WANTS to please you...no matter how long or how much effort.
Every woman does.
The thought of going down on you for however long it takes for you to climax should be a turn on for him.
The thought of prolonging his climax so that you can climax should also turn him on.
Although he did put in work and is the only guy I have dated that has put in that much effort to please me but he did end up complaining about it and making me feel bad
click to expand
it's a good thing he is your ex.
they are men out there who will put in the time and will love every second of it.
Posted by dustbunnyOh yeah definitely. I just know what it's like to not have it happen.Posted by ChuckcemI know this wasn't for me but do you ever cum via penetration?Posted by RozaeonI've actually been the guy in Scenario C before (her getting off first, then me getting off later with oral). I've told past gilrfriends that I'm hard nut to crack until they get to know me.Posted by ChuckcemSomething like that yes ^^Posted by RozaeonWell that's a new response. From what you're saying, you would use scenario C to your advantage to explore other opportunities in the bedroom.Posted by ChuckcemHmm i would choose C then because i think that we could exlpore much more things together, like, for example, what other things can make him go crazy ? What are his limits etc etc, the discovery is more exciting so i'll be more connected to him if that makes sensePosted by RozaeonFair enough, assume that these partners are decent communicators.
1) Scenario B, because i simply can't take any pleasure in sex if i know that my partner is not satisfied. However, when my partner and me will know each other really well ( like, i'm 100% confortable with him ) and after some communication ( because i think it's key here too ), sometimes i will want to switch roles so to speak and my pleasure will come first
2) No i don't feel that this is a compromise because oral sex is part of the foreplay so if i can orgasm after and not him ( even if he did before ) i'll feel like something is missing
So no it will not bother me or make me self-conscious i'll try to understand why, and i'll try to think of something more creative ( or even fun why not ? haha ) to make him reach orgasm. I'll suggest that we try other things too
3) I don't know because you didn't mention how open these guys are, how wiling to communicate they are etc and for me, i can't have a connection if the partner isn't able to make me fantasize first, it's really important
Libra sun, Virgo venus
I only go for really dominant men even though i'm a control freak myself so, it can be a good opportunity to take full charge of his pleasure and experience new things with him
What are your thoughts on this topic, if the scenarios were women what would you choose and why ?
As a guy these questions make less sense because our orgasms don't function the same way. I wouldn't expect to have multiple orgasms (at least not in a single session), just one maybe two GOOD ones. Also I'm not a selfish lover and take the time to learn the cues from any woman I'm with, so A is out. The woman I'm with is definitely going to get hers more than once every 7 times.
B seems like it would it would actually put the woman off. Sure she is getting hers, but if I'm only climaxing 1 out of 4 times, she'll probably start to doubt her effectiveness. Then there are some women who have an easier time reaching orgasm through clitoral stimulation as opposed to vaginal penetration, so C is actually a more realistic option in a man's case.
In which case I'd have to go with C, that way the woman could still climax (even if it was from oral) and not feel bad that I didn't.
Ignore me if you don't want to answer.click to expand
Posted by HippieGemAlso it's the only way a partner can improve. Otherwise they may be at a loss because they think they are doing it all perfectly when they're not.Posted by ChuckcemThabks,and good point. Honesty is always the best way to go in every aspect of a relationship.Posted by HippieGemPersonally I would rather a woman be honest. Like any part of a relationship a healthy sex life needs communication between the partners.
I would choose B. Iād rather see the man I love happy and satisfied more than myself.
One of the biggest turn ons Iāve ever felt was him climaxing just by making me do the same. I wasnāt even touching him. Iām trying to keep this PG-13 rated so I wonāt go into details. Lol
So Iām good with him just getting to the good moment even if I canāt every time. I still enjoy it regardless.
Sometimes Iām tired and fake it. I donāt know if thatās wrong or not. From a male perspective would you rather she say she just canāt or would it be better if you thought she did so you can? Ignorance is bliss sometimes. I donāt know what the right answer is when these things happen occasionally.
Gemini sun, Taurus Venus and mars šclick to expand
Posted by RozaeonBoth is preferred. Yeah I've had strong orgasms before, which sounds great in theory, but are painful afterward. So having a series of them with a male's genitalia is a bit mind boggling.Posted by ChuckcemI see ^^Posted by RozaeonI've actually been the guy in Scenario C before (her getting off first, then me getting off later with oral). I've told past gilrfriends that I'm hard nut to crack until they get to know me.Posted by ChuckcemSomething like that yes ^^Posted by RozaeonWell that's a new response. From what you're saying, you would use scenario C to your advantage to explore other opportunities in the bedroom.Posted by ChuckcemHmm i would choose C then because i think that we could exlpore much more things together, like, for example, what other things can make him go crazy ? What are his limits etc etc, the discovery is more exciting so i'll be more connected to him if that makes sensePosted by RozaeonFair enough, assume that these partners are decent communicators.
1) Scenario B, because i simply can't take any pleasure in sex if i know that my partner is not satisfied. However, when my partner and me will know each other really well ( like, i'm 100% confortable with him ) and after some communication ( because i think it's key here too ), sometimes i will want to switch roles so to speak and my pleasure will come first
2) No i don't feel that this is a compromise because oral sex is part of the foreplay so if i can orgasm after and not him ( even if he did before ) i'll feel like something is missing
So no it will not bother me or make me self-conscious i'll try to understand why, and i'll try to think of something more creative ( or even fun why not ? haha ) to make him reach orgasm. I'll suggest that we try other things too
3) I don't know because you didn't mention how open these guys are, how wiling to communicate they are etc and for me, i can't have a connection if the partner isn't able to make me fantasize first, it's really important
Libra sun, Virgo venus
I only go for really dominant men even though i'm a control freak myself so, it can be a good opportunity to take full charge of his pleasure and experience new things with him
What are your thoughts on this topic, if the scenarios were women what would you choose and why ?
As a guy these questions make less sense because our orgasms don't function the same way. I wouldn't expect to have multiple orgasms (at least not in a single session), just one maybe two GOOD ones. Also I'm not a selfish lover and take the time to learn the cues from any woman I'm with, so A is out. The woman I'm with is definitely going to get hers more than once every 7 times.
B seems like it would it would actually put the woman off. Sure she is getting hers, but if I'm only climaxing 1 out of 4 times, she'll probably start to doubt her effectiveness. Then there are some women who have an easier time reaching orgasm through clitoral stimulation as opposed to vaginal penetration, so C is actually a more realistic option in a man's case.
In which case I'd have to go with C, that way the woman could still climax (even if it was from oral) and not feel bad that I didn't.
Even if it make a bit less sense, it's always interesting to hear because you would except something else instead of multiple orgasms.
Would you choose a woman that can bring you comfort and emotions in the bedroom or a woman that can push your limits ? or both ?click to expand
Posted by RooSagicornI agree. The B's seem to be all about their partner's pleasure, but there is still personal satisfaction that comes from that decision. The C's however don't seem to mind how the orgasms occur as long as the partner is satisfied. Both are coming from a selfless mindset, but appear to view the importance and function of orgasms differently.Posted by ChuckcemWell I think isnāt it better if itās together than one-sided? What do you mean by generous?Posted by RooSagicornFascinating, I can't tell who would be the more generous lovers (the Bs or Cs).Posted by ChuckcemI would pick C. I would want us both to get orgasms however that worked. Oral is fine. But ya know I would prefer to mix it up. Itās really about the person and working together as a team for me, so whatever works as long as we are both concerned about each otherās needs.Posted by RooSagicornThat's a fair breakdown. For the sake of discuss, let's just pretend you HAD to choose a scenario that you would have to live with forever starting today. Which would it be? Sounds like scenario C may be preferable for you if that were the case.
I canāt just pick a scenario.. letās see how old are we? In your teens and 20ās, 30ās, or 40ās and older. My answers would be different at different times. Because the ability to have multiple orgasms or speed of that changes for men & women.
But letās see, overall I would prefer we both orgasm at the same time vaginally. Bonding - well it isnāt necessary to be that way though. There is something about the experience of trying lots of different positions or ways to reach orgasm that can be bonding too, and sometimes more intimate.
In my 20ās, oh the guy would orgasm fast, so yeah I want him to work on getting mine first or else I wonāt get it. And when the happens every single time, it sucks.
In my 30ās, omg orgasms galore, Iād have multiple before him - even if we were going for together. So yeah Iād like to spend more time helping him get his.
In my 40ās & 50ās, itās harder for guys.. than before, so yeah letās concentrate on you baby! š I mean itās great if you want to concentrate on me but I feel really bad if that affects you getting yours.
I guess what does that say? I donāt prefer getting mine over his, or him over me, I want us both to. And how it happens isn't as important as enjoying the experience & making each other feel good ( orgasm or not) but then Iāve had a few years of experience. Lol
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Posted by bittercupcake
So to answer your question (take what I said above in mind)...I'd rather option B because it takes me a while to get there. But it also depends on whether or not the person has the stamina to keep up with me. For example: the Aries could only go a couple times before he KO'd so I'd HAVE to come at least once. The Leo however, I didn't mind if he came a few times before I did because I knew he had the stamina to keep up with me. And if he didn't, he'd take it as a challenge to please me.
So that being said, I have to climax at least once. I do not mind if my partner climaxes more than one time. To me it's all about enjoying the journey before you get to the destination.
So I just need some clarification here. You said that you have to climax at least once, but you went with scenario B. Remember that in scenario B, you'd only climax 1 in 4 times (meaning 1 in 4 sessions). Basically you're not guaranteed an orgasm with scenario B. You are guaranteed a climax with scenarios A and C though, but it sounds like C would not work for you. Scenario B is details below:
In scenario B you have a partner who is guaranteed to climax at least once, but you may not climax with them (you climax 1 in 4 times). Which scenario would you prefer between A or B and why?click to expand
Posted by EllygantI love the honesty of your response. I have no preference for any of the scenarios because I've said already that the answers aren't the most important part. Your candor is much appreciated. While I would be interested in asking you follow up questions, I feel that my questions would be off topic.
Iāll always feelnmore bonded to the partner I have the highest and most consistent sexual chemistry with. That accounts not just for orgasms but for pre and post coital atmosphere.
I couldnāt do B. Iām selfish that way. A or C are about equal to me.
Iāve been in all three scenarios actually. With the same person. Over the course of many years. Started off as A. Then went to C. Then B.
I never felt self conscious. But I did not enjoy sex or the relationship by the time it hit situation B. Sex is always a direct barometer of the health of a long term relationship for me. Iāve spent a lot of time learning and cherishing my body. So if Iām not getting off it probably because my partner isnāt doing the same. Itās always a mental/emotional thing for me.
So here's an optional question. Why do you think think the scenarios with your partner have changed from A, to C, to B over time? Feel free to answer the question or not at all.
Posted by intergalacticplanetarySo let's say that this was a partner you were interested in past a fling. Would your answer ultimately be Scenario B?
A.
If I'm not emotionally invested.
B.
If I am,
C.
I wouldn't entertain long term.
Capricorn,Venus saggi,Mars Aqua.
Posted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by oneday
But to be honest here, I hardly get to an orgasm vaginally. Once in awhile it happens, and I cherish those times let me tell you lol but majority of time I can only orgasm from oral or touching. I sort of feel bad about this although I can't help it, I don't want my partner feeling inadequate or like they have to work extra hard for me.
You're in the norm. Don't feel bad. Most women have a hard time climaxing through vaginal penetration alone. Most women need at least 1-2 orgasms via oral / manual stimulation before vaginal penetration starts to feel the best and can definitely lead to orgasm. Most guys think that their penis in your vagina should be enough though because of porn.lol
I'm worried about how you view yourself / self worth though.
You deserve to be with a partner who WANTS to please you...no matter how long or how much effort.
Every woman does.
The thought of going down on you for however long it takes for you to climax should be a turn on for him.
The thought of prolonging his climax so that you can climax should also turn him on.
click to expand
Seconded. Reciprocation should not be seen as a chore. (Had to clean up the quotes a little.)
Posted by bittercupcakeInteresting. Scenario B, while not the optimal scenario (then again none of them are), is the clear winner out of them. I may have to make a different topic/spritiual successor to this one.Posted by ChuckcemOh ok. Well Iād still go with B. I actually experienced this with the Leo. Never came but he did. I enjoyed it nonetheless. It was the journey that made it enjoyable.Posted by bittercupcake
So to answer your question (take what I said above in mind)...I'd rather option B because it takes me a while to get there. But it also depends on whether or not the person has the stamina to keep up with me. For example: the Aries could only go a couple times before he KO'd so I'd HAVE to come at least once. The Leo however, I didn't mind if he came a few times before I did because I knew he had the stamina to keep up with me. And if he didn't, he'd take it as a challenge to please me.
So that being said, I have to climax at least once. I do not mind if my partner climaxes more than one time. To me it's all about enjoying the journey before you get to the destination.
So I just need some clarification here. You said that you have to climax at least once, but you went with scenario B. Remember that in scenario B, you'd only climax 1 in 4 times (meaning 1 in 4 sessions). Basically you're not guaranteed an orgasm with scenario B. You are guaranteed a climax with scenarios A and C though, but it sounds like C would not work for you. Scenario B is details below:In scenario B you have a partner who is guaranteed to climax at least once, but you may not climax with them (you climax 1 in 4 times). Which scenario would you prefer between A or B and why?click to expand
Posted by EllygantYes, thank you for sharing. From the nature of the scenarios I had a basic idea of what you were getting at, but your explanation made it all clear.Posted by ChuckcemThe partner I went through that with, we did a lot of maturing together. He had intimacy issues where he couldnāt trust partners and just be in the moment. Was always in his head too much. I had a lot of discomfort around heterosexual sex and trusting men. His focus being so totally about me helped me work through my issues and him reaching a new level of depth than in his previous relationships moved us from A to C. Not strictly, but mostly speaking there were still only particular ways he felt free enough to be able to orgasm. We were there for a long time before it became like B.Posted by EllygantI love the honesty of your response. I have no preference for any of the scenarios because I've said already that the answers aren't the most important part. Your candor is much appreciated. While I would be interested in asking you follow up questions, I feel that my questions would be off topic.
Iāll always feelnmore bonded to the partner I have the highest and most consistent sexual chemistry with. That accounts not just for orgasms but for pre and post coital atmosphere.
I couldnāt do B. Iām selfish that way. A or C are about equal to me.
Iāve been in all three scenarios actually. With the same person. Over the course of many years. Started off as A. Then went to C. Then B.
I never felt self conscious. But I did not enjoy sex or the relationship by the time it hit situation B. Sex is always a direct barometer of the health of a long term relationship for me. Iāve spent a lot of time learning and cherishing my body. So if Iām not getting off it probably because my partner isnāt doing the same. Itās always a mental/emotional thing for me.
So here's an optional question. Why do you think think the scenarios with your partner have changed from A, to C, to B over time? Feel free to answer the question or not at all.
And that stage was a result of his lack of engagement. He kinda got comfortable in the relationships and stopped putting in effort. Into himself, into my needs and wants, emotionally and mentally mostly. He put half hearted attempts in physically but I after some time was disinterested since he didnāt prioritize the other aspects. We were at that place almost the last two years. Stayed out of love. Then broke up. Then got back together and stayed a little longer out of love. Though the physical chemistry was dead in the water by then.
Iād likely not do that again. Iād be much more blunt about thingns. Back then I never said āwe arenāt having sex because I feel so unloved I donāt want you to touch me.ā Extreme yes. But all the times I was like āhey letās work on the emotional/mental connection and then the physical will fix itselfā he never seemed to grasp the seriousness eh.
Hope that was the answer you were looking for. Lol. I get ramblyclick to expand
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as well as moon and sexual themes
I'm curious as to what you guys are attracted to ...and if it relates to your mars or moon ...I do notice what I am attracted to and it freaks me out a just a bit
https://media3.giphy.com/media/6anKlIA7ZKXYc/giphy
...and why?
for me, it's the nose. the bigger the better.
lol
Adrian Brody has a nice big nose..
[IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/34ovujr.jpg[/IMG]
i think there was a topic here before on what's your fave feature of a man?
many said BUTT, and loin or ey
if you have children or not.
but i'll give scenerios
1) You are a mother and your son and daughter /or either one chooses a bad girl/bad boy.
what would you do? would you make every effort to destroy their relationshiip?
2) are you the type
.......apparently.
https://youtu.be/wQ-VUssievg?t=53s
it's woman on woman ?
Or is it just a compliment ?
A coworker told me I'm "looking awesome" today and I accepted the compliment and said thank you
Then she leans in and whispers "I've gotta be honest, I've been staring at your ass all day"
..
I want to buy one, but I'm not sure how it'll work out. Can women with big booties even wear those things? When I buy mini-skirts or mini-dresses, I usually look for the back length to be longer than the front to compensate for the booty. But corduroy doe
Ladies, what is more important, your orgasm or your partner's orgasm? To give more perspective, assume your partner is someone you're possibly interested in and not a one time fling/random hookup. There are three questions.
First let's say that you had the option between two scenarios. In scenario A you orgasm multiple times, but your partner rarely orgasms at all (they orgasm 1 in 7 times). In scenario B you have a partner who is guaranteed to climax at least once, but you may not climax with them (you climax 1 in 4 times). Which scenario would you prefer between A or B and why?
Second let's say that there is another partner, scenario C, who only climaxes via oral sex. In this scenario you know you'll reach orgasm once or twice with this partner. Would that feel like a compromise between scenario A and B? Would it bother you that this partner's method to climax was never vaginal? Would it make you feel self-conscious at all?
Lastly, which partner would you honestly feel the most connection with in the bedroom?
(This question is open to all women of all sexual preferences. Be sure to throw in your Sun, Venus, and Mars for fun.)