My Girlfriend Vow to Abstinence ruining relationship (Page 2)

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by aquarius09

Using sex as a means to coercing people to do what you want is distasteful. It’s emotional blackmail. If she is looking to get married and have kids, this is not the way to get it. So wrong for so many reasons.

100%

Now consider the fact that he's sold her the dream of marriage and kids 'just not right now' so he can get at the pussy. Now she is closing shop to call him on his bluff after 2.5years of empty words.

Imo they deserve each other. They communicate in the same way lol

No doubt! Completely agree. I didn’t know he was selling her dreams of marriage and kids. To be honest, there’s plenty of people, both genders included, who promise things which aren’t delivered even though they have the best of intentions. However, at the end of the day, you gotta have a deadline for yourself. My former employer kept promising me shit too and I gave them a year to do it. When they didn’t do it, I left. Can’t sit on people’s empty promises no matter what the situation is. You gotta have a cut off date for yourself, not cut off sex. LoL

click to expand

Another thought occurred to me...

He mentioned wanting to get married and have children, eventually lol

What does he think happens to his baby mama's kitty after pushing out a small human? Not open for business.

He's gotta plan for the future and get her the pocket pussy mold so his 'physical needs' which take precedence over everything can be fulfilled.

Just looking out op.

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by besarlalluvia

It can't be just for kids - withholding sex is wasting time then

If she is manipulating u into government-tied commitment, u must be a great catch. Or rich.

Why does she wanna marry u so badly?

If the sex is that great she wouldn't punish herself like that... Unless she likes suffering

Maybe you have competition 🙈 she might be cheating already..

It sounds like she was recently saved which adds a whole other element of (religious) pressure. I know a lot of people don’t understand it or agree with it but it will have you looking at life differently and more careful about what you’re willing to compromise.

click to expand

Op didn't say anything about religion otherwise he might not be so confused

Wait who’s the Virgo in this situation here ?

I'll tell you one thing about Virgals technically about any woman....when it comes down to this type of scenario (not exactly this situation but where a type of ultimatum is given)...it's the last ditch effort before she walks. One foot in and one foot out. We give chances and this is the last one.

Just by the way the OP talks and it's all about him and his needs...she's relayed this to him one too many times and he didn't listen. In about a couple months after she leaves...you'll see it and wish you could have done it different...will probably be too late.

She given you an opportunity to hear her...if you actually love her like you claim...ya better listen. 🤷🏼‍♀️



Just to be clear I don't condone using sex as a weapon but like I said...she's probably tried one to many times and if he's sex crazed...she using what she knows will get his attention.

She wanting to know where y'all stand. Do you see a future with her at all... honestly not just because you'll miss the pussy...if not, let her the fuck go. If so, then y'all need to discuss what that looks like.

That's the bigger picture here.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by Arielle83

Also, if you give her what she wants.

She will know she can use sex against you in your marriage.

She will think she can control you and manipulate you with her kitty cat.

Prepare to be mentally fucked with some more

People have different values, it’s not about manipulation. If a woman has grown up all her life aspiring to be a wife and mother, those are her personal goals and values too. If you aspired to be promoted at work but your boss was holding you back, are you going to keep showing up everyday and giving your best without expecting a raise or at least a promotion—

Why is it ok for him to be selfish about wanting to keep reaping the benefits of a wife without making her a wife but she should just put her values and dreams on hold until he’s 40 and finally decides he’s “ready”?

I agree with what you’re saying, regarding how you think her wants are important in relation to think marriage and being a wife might be all she wants, and being his gf and having sex with him is the prerequisite.

However, if she needs to use sex as a bartering tool, to get her way, don’t you think the union is doomed after the marriage date?

A lot of women seem to only care about the title, they don’t actually think about the give and take of what goes on in a marriage. If she is willing to withhold sex against someone she apparently loves enough to marry, then I’m guessing she doesn’t actually love him.

Thinking 2.5 years is enough of a deposit to manipulate another person into marriage, then I think they should both run.

Just because a woman dates someone for some arbitrary amount of time, does not mean she should be rewarded with marriage.

It sounds like she cares more about her title or label, than him.

Withholding sex is a form of control or emotional abuse. Imagine someone acting like they’re so set on some socially conditioned act of marriage, that they are willing to deny any sexual union between each other.

Minimizing men to thinking all they care about is sex.

Minimizing women to think they’re entitled to a marriage just because they’ve had sex for a set amount of time.

All of this is toxic grounds for a marriage.

If marriage is more important to her than just having him in her life, then he should realise, she doesn’t want him, she wants just what she feels entitled too.

And she’s a manipulator.

I don’t care about this gendered idea that women should get married. What if he doesn’t believe in marriage?

She should of told him she had this pressured timeline from day one.

The marriage won’t last if this controlling bs has already started before he even asks her.

Her priorities are manipulated.

And women can be in relationships with men who use sex as a bargaining tool too. I’m saying he should mirror her actions, to prove he thinks of her as more than sex. He should abstain as well.

Maybe if he doesn’t hound her and she abstains, she might realise theirs a real connection there, and she’ll realise he isn’t just about sex.

Or maybe she’ll be mad he doesn’t see her as an object and she’ll realise her game was stupid.

She’s trying to make it on her terms.

But I don’t think 1.5 years or 2.5 years is long enough to know you want to marry.

She’s acting demanding.

click to expand

Damn smart woman.....read it again people. Not much more to discuss after this!

So give her what she wants! I mean y’all been dating for going on a few years! WTF

Sorry everyone I haven’t been replying I’ve been reading your post and taking notes from the advice and laughed at the crazier comments. Had to work a double Shift today so I’m going home late. Very frustrated, I know I won’t be able to make love to my girlfriend. Just on her terms which only consists of Cuddling and talking til she falls asleep and I creep into the restroom and let one loose and flush all the evidence down toilet. Sad but True story.

Posted by Phantum

looooool

So, did you have the dude dream before or after this creative problem?

Jesus Christ I am being open if I’m going to be made fun of for being real reflects my dilemma of opening up to people in my circle

Posted by FactCheck

Her not having sex with you is also her preparing to leave you. She'll already be ready for a man that will marry her and give her a family. Earth signs think practically. They plan. They don't plot.

If she leaves me I’ll fight for her back, but dammm can I get my needs met and enjoy my freedom for another year before I spend thousands on a ring and get down on one knee and fully commit to marriage.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by FactCheck

Wtf?^ um yeah isnt she a capricorn and not a water sign? Pretty sure she just thinks its time for you to grow up or get out.

Yeah because you actually think 1.5 years is the golden moment of proposal.

It’s still manipulation to get what she expects.

click to expand

Thank you..Thank you..Thank you it is. It F#ing is. I love her but I don’t feel a ring means forever. Hell I could put a ring on her finger and feel resentment and decide I don’t want have sex with her for doing that to me.

Posted by sweetpea2977

Posted by FactCheck

She's ready to get married and settle down. I'm surprised she hasn't left you. This is like her last ditch effort to get you to grow up. Guys usually propose after a year and a half. If you want to get married and he hasn't proposed in two and a half years, you're wasting your time.

I agree. She's giving all the benefits without a commitment. Now his ass is spoiled. She's doing the right thing lmao

click to expand

Excuse me? Spoiled? I’ve paid for every date. I hold the door open for her everywhere we go, I tell her I love you everyday. I never come home late, i call her on my breaks and lunch, I cook and clean and I bathe her daughter by her ex who I love when she’s tired. I fix everything around our home. I give her space and free time when she needs it. I please her and try make sure she is satisfied or completes before I get mines. I love her but I know my worth, I’ll marry her one day soon. But don’t force me this way or we can go our own way, don’t play me especially not me after all I do.

Posted by sweetpea2977

Posted by FactCheck

She's ready to get married and settle down. I'm surprised she hasn't left you. This is like her last ditch effort to get you to grow up. Guys usually propose after a year and a half. If you want to get married and he hasn't proposed in two and a half years, you're wasting your time.

I agree. She's giving all the benefits without a commitment. Now his ass is spoiled. She's doing the right thing lmao

click to expand

Excuse me? Spoiled? I’ve paid for every date. I hold the door open for her everywhere we go, I tell her I love you everyday. I never come home late, i call her on my breaks and lunch, I cook and clean and I bathe her daughter by her ex who I love when she’s tired. I fix everything around our home. I give her space and free time when she needs it. I please her and try make sure she is satisfied or completes before I get mines. I love her but I know my worth, I’ll marry her one day soon. But don’t force me this way or we can go our own way, don’t play me especially not me after all I do.

Posted by FactCheck

Posted by SuperSize9

Posted by FactCheck

Her not having sex with you is also her preparing to leave you. She'll already be ready for a man that will marry her and give her a family. Earth signs think practically. They plan. They don't plot.

If she leaves me I’ll fight for her back, but dammm can I get my needs met and enjoy my freedom for another year before I spend thousands on a ring and get down on one knee and fully commit to marriage.

No.

click to expand

Then it’s no us, if we both are selfish. And maybe this is why I didn’t marry her sooner.

Posted by MsBonfire

Posted by SuperSize9

Sorry everyone I haven’t been replying I’ve been reading your post and taking notes from the advice and laughed at the crazier comments. Had to work a double Shift today so I’m going home late. Very frustrated, I know I won’t be able to make love to my girlfriend. Just on her terms which only consists of Cuddling and talking til she falls asleep and I creep into the restroom and let one loose and flush all the evidence down toilet. Sad but True story.

As soon as you get home, sit down with your girlfriend and read her every single post in this thread. Eventually she will give up her kitty cat

to you or cut your peeny weeny off 😉

click to expand

I was going to reply to this but off topic “WOW I come home from a double shift at work 6am to 8pm and she’s wasn’t home and wasn’t answering her phone. I get a text I’m picking up baby girl from my mommas house, be home before 1030 don’t be made baby....Nothing wrong with that right? but we had argument about this same issue. Every time I work a double she’s never home when I get there and it’s always a reason why she gets home late after 10pm

(-lost track of time, fell asleep at my moms house, had to drop something off at work, I tried calling but phone died..etc-)

Maybe she’s holding out on me but still getting hers who knows. Hate to be suspicious and question her. But it’s continuing pattern we talked about.

Posted by stope

She sounds like a black widow. Someone toxic is in her ear.

Good luck to you.

She’s not but her mother is.

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by SuperSize9

Posted by PhoenixStorm

I have been in your girlfriends shoes so I can relate with her but I can also understand your frustration. It can be very confusing.. she’s not doing it as a game, she genuinely feels conflicted.

How old are you guys?

How did it end? Did he marry you or did you give in? And or you still together

We are no longer together for a couple of reasons, I left him. We were together 10+ years, never married. I was more than patient.

He cheated at some point, I left in 2016 but came back after a while because we have a son together. Church was the only thing that made me feel complete after he made me feel inadequate after the cheating. So I became faithful to my values instead of being faithful to him.. it wasn’t manipulation. I just got tired of giving my all to someone who wasn’t willing t to give his all to me.

I eventually left him again in 2018. He’s been asking me to come home since Mother’s Day of last year but I refuse.

click to expand

10 years that’s more then enough time. But cheating is big no no. I can love deep but I refuse to forgive or forget cheating you are marking right decision.

Posted by ArilovesAqu

Apparently sex is only something men want, enjoy and require in a healthy relationship and it’s something women just do as a means to get a man to the alter

🤮

BS women need sex as much as men. But when you have all the power of when it goes down you can decide when where why and how.

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by SuperSize9

Posted by FactCheck

Her not having sex with you is also her preparing to leave you. She'll already be ready for a man that will marry her and give her a family. Earth signs think practically. They plan. They don't plot.

If she leaves me I’ll fight for her back, but dammm can I get my needs met and enjoy my freedom for another year before I spend thousands on a ring and get down on one knee and fully commit to marriage.

Have you told her your plans to propose in 1 year?

Is she doing this for religious purposes?

click to expand

No I haven’t , I actually don’t have time or date but I know I want too. She Christian as far as I know but not deep as she should be for the way she’s acting.

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by SuperSize9

Posted by MsBonfire

Posted by SuperSize9

Sorry everyone I haven’t been replying I’ve been reading your post and taking notes from the advice and laughed at the crazier comments. Had to work a double Shift today so I’m going home late. Very frustrated, I know I won’t be able to make love to my girlfriend. Just on her terms which only consists of Cuddling and talking til she falls asleep and I creep into the restroom and let one loose and flush all the evidence down toilet. Sad but True story.

As soon as you get home, sit down with your girlfriend and read her every single post in this thread. Eventually she will give up her kitty cat

to you or cut your peeny weeny off 😉

I was going to reply to this but off topic “WOW I come home from a double shift at work 6am to 8pm and she’s wasn’t home and wasn’t answering her phone. I get a text I’m picking up baby girl from my mommas house, be home before 1030 don’t be made baby....Nothing wrong with that right? but we had argument about this same issue. Every time I work a double she’s never home when I get there and it’s always a reason why she gets home late after 10pm

(-lost track of time, fell asleep at my moms house, had to drop something off at work, I tried calling but phone died..etc-)

Maybe she’s holding out on me but still getting hers who knows. Hate to be suspicious and question her. But it’s continuing pattern we talked about.

No, I doubt it. Chances are it’s just that she is trying to use her time when you are away and working late to spend time with family. She wouldn’t be wanting to marry you if she’s rather be doinking someone else. That doesn’t even make sense.

click to expand

I don’t know. Just holding back from building frustration. Don’t want argue tonight All-night, don’t want her or me to go to sleep mad. I’ll keep Mybad to myself.

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by SuperSize9

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by SuperSize9

Posted by FactCheck

Her not having sex with you is also her preparing to leave you. She'll already be ready for a man that will marry her and give her a family. Earth signs think practically. They plan. They don't plot.

If she leaves me I’ll fight for her back, but dammm can I get my needs met and enjoy my freedom for another year before I spend thousands on a ring and get down on one knee and fully commit to marriage.

Have you told her your plans to propose in 1 year?

Is she doing this for religious purposes?

No I haven’t , I actually don’t have time or date but I know I want too. She Christian as far as I know but not deep as she should be for the way she’s acting.

Maybe if you communicate to her that you do in fact have a plan then maybe that will give her reassurance that you are serious about her.

Does she go to church regularly? Did she make it sound like this is based on her religious views or do you think it really is just to push you to propose sooner?

click to expand

No religious views. I guess I thought about and plan to ask her to marry me maybe within in the next 6 to 7 months. Right around our anniversary. I even thought about doing it on Christmas or her birthday, she’s fine she’s beautiful but she’s controlling.

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by SuperSize9

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by SuperSize9

Posted by MsBonfire

Posted by SuperSize9

Sorry everyone I haven’t been replying I’ve been reading your post and taking notes from the advice and laughed at the crazier comments. Had to work a double Shift today so I’m going home late. Very frustrated, I know I won’t be able to make love to my girlfriend. Just on her terms which only consists of Cuddling and talking til she falls asleep and I creep into the restroom and let one loose and flush all the evidence down toilet. Sad but True story.

As soon as you get home, sit down with your girlfriend and read her every single post in this thread. Eventually she will give up her kitty cat

to you or cut your peeny weeny off 😉

I was going to reply to this but off topic “WOW I come home from a double shift at work 6am to 8pm and she’s wasn’t home and wasn’t answering her phone. I get a text I’m picking up baby girl from my mommas house, be home before 1030 don’t be made baby....Nothing wrong with that right? but we had argument about this same issue. Every time I work a double she’s never home when I get there and it’s always a reason why she gets home late after 10pm

(-lost track of time, fell asleep at my moms house, had to drop something off at work, I tried calling but phone died..etc-)

Maybe she’s holding out on me but still getting hers who knows. Hate to be suspicious and question her. But it’s continuing pattern we talked about.

No, I doubt it. Chances are it’s just that she is trying to use her time when you are away and working late to spend time with family. She wouldn’t be wanting to marry you if she’s rather be doinking someone else. That doesn’t even make sense.

I don’t know. Just holding back from building frustration. Don’t want argue tonight All-night, don’t want her or me to go to sleep mad. I’ll keep Mybad to myself.

How long has it been?

click to expand

Almost 2 months no sex after two years of almost none stop sex. 2 to 5 times a week whenever we are together.

Wooah, y'all live together?

And, she has a child?

Posted by VenusAquarius

Wooah, y'all live together?

And, she has a child?

I was just about to ask the same questions

Posted by LostinmyMind11

She wanting to know where y'all stand. Do you see a future with her at all... honestly not just because you'll miss the pussy...if not, let her the fuck go. If so, then y'all need to discuss what that looks like.

That's the bigger picture here.

Every time I close my eyes and picture my future I only see her in it. She wants me marry her which I want to do and will do. But I’m convinced it’s a little tiny bit of her mothers influence.

Do you wanna marry her or not? Plain and simple. Two years is more than enough time to be able to answer that question.

Posted by virgal_perfectionist

Posted by VenusAquarius

Wooah, y'all live together?

And, she has a child?

I was just about to ask the same questions

click to expand

Yes we do stay together almost 12 months now.

Posted by hippiecrite

Do you wanna marry her or not? Plain and simple. Two years is more than enough time to be able to answer that question.

Yes I love her

Posted by SuperSize9

Posted by LostinmyMind11

She wanting to know where y'all stand. Do you see a future with her at all... honestly not just because you'll miss the pussy...if not, let her the fuck go. If so, then y'all need to discuss what that looks like.

That's the bigger picture here.

Every time I close my eyes and picture my future I only see her in it. She wants me marry her which I want to do and will do. But I’m convinced it’s a little tiny bit of her mothers influence.

click to expand

Then you guys need to discuss that...it's time for both of you to stop being passive and just be open and upfront and get on the same page.

We are talking right now, discussing a few deal breaker's that we both are now seeing in our relationship. A little stressed, I’ll post tomorrow before or after work.

Posted by SuperSize9

Posted by virgal_perfectionist

Posted by VenusAquarius

Wooah, y'all live together?

And, she has a child?

I was just about to ask the same questions

Yes we do stay together almost 12 months now.

click to expand

Then, your claim of "unstable" does not work here. You do not move in when you're "unstable." And, you definitely do not take on a woman with a child if you're "unstable." Do "unstable" people live together? Yes. But, it is not a "defense" to not getting married when you are acting as a married couple already (just missing the paperwork). If you're against marriage (the paperwork), that's a better "defense" in this situation.

As far as your girlfriend's abstinence is concerned... if she felt so strongly about abstinence her next statement should have been, I need to move out, particularly if the abstinence is due to religious beliefs (new or epiphany)... living together and sex are often synonymous in sin and the appearance of sin.

Major changes in the norm of a relationship is cause for re-evaluation.

You all are definitely headed to a quid pro quo relationship if the relationship survives your girlfriend's proclamation of abstinence. In my experience these types of relationships occur when an fundamental "selfishmess" is core to character of one or both parties. Not sure what your living arrangements are but your girlfriend is definitely realizing benefits of pooled resources in the sane fashion as you are with "stress relief." You guys are going to play a never-ending tit-for-tat. You both seem to lack the maturity or self-awareness to know what this means. This could be fine for you two. But, if it's not, you will not know it as a root cause or lack the ability to articulate and analyze. What your girlfriend will discover after you marry her is an emptiness of quid pro quo. If she's about status and/or materialistic, she'll be fine.

Most men are fine with quid pro quo because it makes them feel needed, important, and gives plausible deniability when it comes to responsibility. The male attitude about divorce process lived and heard about reinforces the acceptance and denial of quid pro quo and marriage.

If she's not happy with quid pro quo, it's typically that she will feel unprotected or that she has another child to raise. Her ambitions vs. reality will weigh in as to deciding her level of satisfaction.

This proclamation of abstinence is a strong precursor for sex (or diner, or whatever you value) as reward for compliance to her wishes. This typically happens when there is obstinance to compromise or a sheer oblivuousness for the desires of the other party, i.e "selfishness" or a partner who is self-absorbed.

Posted by SuperSize9

Posted by hippiecrite

Do you wanna marry her or not? Plain and simple. Two years is more than enough time to be able to answer that question.

Yes I love her

click to expand

So what’s the problem? Do you feel this was a total manipulation and it has you second guessing? Because, if you know how you feel about it, I’m not entirely sure why this matters.

And let me clarify, I’m not condoning ultimatums, but only you know the quality of your relationship leading up to this. She’s worth it or she’s not and only you know the answer to that.

She deserves to die

Posted by blvckphvze

Posted by virgal_perfectionist

Posted by blvckphvze

Posted by virgal_perfectionist

These comments... especially from other women is a bit alarming...

but hey, who am I to judge?

Some of us want to get married to someone who is ready and going to be there for us.. not because we manipulate them into doing so.. That just spells for a divorce. How could I happily marry someone knowing I manipulated them into it?? I want them to want it too.

I agree, I just don't see the manipulation on her end. More so, from his. He's 31 and can't figure out if he wants the marry the girl he's been getting action from for 2 1/2 years?? Who wants to lay up and continue to have meaningless sex with a grown a** man who doesn't know if he wants her forever or not? He's lucky that sex was the only thing she stopped doing. I would have left him... There's women he can buy for all the sex in the world...

Not everyone is the same. There is no age that people have to be ready for marriage. I know tons of people (even in my own family) who were together for decades and didn't get married until they were in their 50's.. they didn't love one another any less and I'm sure they didn't consider their intimate life meaningless.. Marriage doesn't = love. Divorce rates are higher than ever, so marriage doesn't equate to shit.

click to expand

Yea well it seems like she wants to be married and he’s not ready. It becomes meaningless when the man you love doesn’t know if he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Op just said he lives with her and her child, I’m sure she doesn’t want to become a single mother to a second child. Besides if they are playing house he needs to man up and seal the deal. Set an example for her daughter as a man.

Posted by blvckphvze

Posted by virgal_perfectionist

Posted by blvckphvze

Posted by virgal_perfectionist

Posted by blvckphvze

Posted by virgal_perfectionist

These comments... especially from other women is a bit alarming...

but hey, who am I to judge?

Some of us want to get married to someone who is ready and going to be there for us.. not because we manipulate them into doing so.. That just spells for a divorce. How could I happily marry someone knowing I manipulated them into it?? I want them to want it too.

I agree, I just don't see the manipulation on her end. More so, from his. He's 31 and can't figure out if he wants the marry the girl he's been getting action from for 2 1/2 years?? Who wants to lay up and continue to have meaningless sex with a grown a** man who doesn't know if he wants her forever or not? He's lucky that sex was the only thing she stopped doing. I would have left him... There's women he can buy for all the sex in the world...

Not everyone is the same. There is no age that people have to be ready for marriage. I know tons of people (even in my own family) who were together for decades and didn't get married until they were in their 50's.. they didn't love one another any less and I'm sure they didn't consider their intimate life meaningless.. Marriage doesn't = love. Divorce rates are higher than ever, so marriage doesn't equate to shit.

Yea well it seems like she wants to be married and he’s not ready. It becomes meaningless when the man you love doesn’t know if he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Op just said he lives with her and her child, I’m sure she doesn’t want to become a single mother to a second child. Besides if they are playing house he needs to man up and seal the deal. Set an example for her daughter as a man.

I thought we had determined this guys story was fake. I am just speaking in general. I was just never the type of person to think marriage ensured dedication. Lots of people stay together happily and never get married and lots of married couples get divorced. Just how I personally feel, we are all different I guess.

click to expand

Fake or not, speak for yourself. Yes people view marriage differently, they should have had a talk in the beginning. I think that was the biggest mistake and what most people fail to do when they get involved with someone. If the two never have plans to get married then go for it. But if you have one that wants marriage and the other that doesn’t why waste your time? Yes the divorce is up but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t want marriage just because everyone is failing at it, especially if that’s a goal in life. By the way there are marriages that are still going strong. Maybe that’s me being optimistic but you shouldn’t limit yourself just because it didn’t work out for someone else. But like you said, we are all different 🙃

Posted by SuperSize9

Posted by sweetpea2977

Posted by FactCheck

She's ready to get married and settle down. I'm surprised she hasn't left you. This is like her last ditch effort to get you to grow up. Guys usually propose after a year and a half. If you want to get married and he hasn't proposed in two and a half years, you're wasting your time.

I agree. She's giving all the benefits without a commitment. Now his ass is spoiled. She's doing the right thing lmao

Excuse me? Spoiled? I’ve paid for every date. I hold the door open for her everywhere we go, I tell her I love you everyday. I never come home late, i call her on my breaks and lunch, I cook and clean and I bathe her daughter by her ex who I love when she’s tired. I fix everything around our home. I give her space and free time when she needs it. I please her and try make sure she is satisfied or completes before I get mines. I love her but I know my worth, I’ll marry her one day soon. But don’t force me this way or we can go our own way, don’t play me especially not me after all I do.

click to expand

Those are the things a MAN is supposed to do. Are you KIDDING me? You're not doing anything you're not supposed to be doing. Give me a break!

Posted by virgal_perfectionist

Posted by blvckphvze

Posted by virgal_perfectionist

Posted by blvckphvze

Posted by virgal_perfectionist

These comments... especially from other women is a bit alarming...

but hey, who am I to judge?

Some of us want to get married to someone who is ready and going to be there for us.. not because we manipulate them into doing so.. That just spells for a divorce. How could I happily marry someone knowing I manipulated them into it?? I want them to want it too.

I agree, I just don't see the manipulation on her end. More so, from his. He's 31 and can't figure out if he wants the marry the girl he's been getting action from for 2 1/2 years?? Who wants to lay up and continue to have meaningless sex with a grown a** man who doesn't know if he wants her forever or not? He's lucky that sex was the only thing she stopped doing. I would have left him... There's women he can buy for all the sex in the world...

Not everyone is the same. There is no age that people have to be ready for marriage. I know tons of people (even in my own family) who were together for decades and didn't get married until they were in their 50's.. they didn't love one another any less and I'm sure they didn't consider their intimate life meaningless.. Marriage doesn't = love. Divorce rates are higher than ever, so marriage doesn't equate to shit.

Yea well it seems like she wants to be married and he’s not ready. It becomes meaningless when the man you love doesn’t know if he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Op just said he lives with her and her child, I’m sure she doesn’t want to become a single mother to a second child. Besides if they are playing house he needs to man up and seal the deal. Set an example for her daughter as a man.

click to expand

People trip me out w their excuses. Dude is ALREADY playing house. Doing everything that marriage entails right? It seems so. Wants all the bells and whistles........without officiating it. Sounds typical imo 🤷 I wonder if he's holding down all the bills too, which is something that some dudes playing house do as well? I see THAT was left out while boasting of what he does do which was NOT impressive. Especially for his age. Now, if dude is doing that too, then that's all the more reason why marriage shouldn't be played down w petty excuses.

I had a lot of thinking to do today. Feeling sad but I need this space

Last night Sadly I vented my frustration and allowed words to come out that I’ve been holding back, words that may have not been the best at the moment to say. I spoke on few things like the No sex til marriage which apart of it i discovered is my fault. I let her think I was ok with it in the beginning because I am so passive and decided to go with the flow. The second part was the issue with her Mother, or better yet MY issue with her Mother and her part in The No sex til marriage, our money issues, the reason I drive far to work so she can stay close to her, the fact her mother doesn’t want my girlfriends daughter to call me daddy or stepdad until we do get married. The lies and secrets her mother tells her if you feel I’m over exaggerating

:example A: my girlfriend found out 3 years ago that the guy who she thought was her Real father of 20 plus years was not. And she only found out when he died, from his side of the family, at the funeral because they were arguing over his estate and Will. Now my girlfriend has been searching for her biological dad for some time now. But back to the topic, I vented and she got angry, she yelled, I yelled back. I left the house and drove off to clear my head. I came back, she did silent treatment thing, she slammed a few doors. I stayed quite logged into this post on my phone read a few post some made me mad others cry and regret inside. Then She woke her daughter up and left to go to her mothers house she said she couldn’t sleep here.

Well That was last night so my head space has been wacked. Then at work I All most ripped my boss head off for pushing my buttons. I have just been on edge all day. She text me “Good morning around 8am. And “I love you around 12pm and I’m sorry around 8pm. I text her I love you and I’m sorry too at 8:07pm. She hasn’t respond it’s now 10:30pm

Oh Before she left she said to me.

“So I am(she) good enough to Fuck but I am not good enough to marry. Thank you, that really makes me feel fucking special.

I’m too depressed to respond so I’ll just keep reading what Ever advice helps and makes me laugh or angry.

I’m too depressed to respond so I’ll just keep reading what Ever advice helps and makes me laugh or angry.

Posted by 7thHouse

Better make a decision on what to do next. If you're really not ready to marry her, leave her.

I've been in her situation. Although I didn't abstain from sex but I did ask him to make a decision. Gave him 1 year. Exactly one year, I asked again and he said he wasn't ready. I left. Few years later, I'm married with kids.

Point is, if you're not willing to give it to her, give her a chance to find it somewhere else.

What is so important about getting married. If love is all you need? You would risking leaving love to find marriage.

One question if you had to choose right now no explanation which one

Love or Marriage?

And too the people who keep posting she should leave me and find someone marry Her

Guess what. I can go marry someone else too. But I’m still here, never cheated, never physically abused her, she has full control of my checks because she is more responsible then me. I trust her more then she trust me.

Posted by Nadiakalidescope

Posted by SuperSize9

I had a lot of thinking to do today. Feeling sad but I need this space

Last night Sadly I vented my frustration and allowed words to come out that I’ve been holding back, words that may have not been the best at the moment to say. I spoke on few things like the No sex til marriage which apart of it i discovered is my fault. I let her think I was ok with it in the beginning because I am so passive and decided to go with the flow. The second part was the issue with her Mother, or better yet MY issue with her Mother and her part in The No sex til marriage, our money issues, the reason I drive far to work so she can stay close to her, the fact her mother doesn’t want my girlfriends daughter to call me daddy or stepdad until we do get married. The lies and secrets her mother tells her if you feel I’m over exaggerating

:example A: my girlfriend found out 3 years ago that the guy who she thought was her Real father of 20 plus years was not. And she only found out when he died, from his side of the family, at the funeral because they were arguing over his estate and Will. Now my girlfriend has been searching for her biological dad for some time now. But back to the topic, I vented and she got angry, she yelled, I yelled back. I left the house and drove off to clear my head. I came back, she did silent treatment thing, she slammed a few doors. I stayed quite logged into this post on my phone read a few post some made me mad others cry and regret inside. Then She woke her daughter up and left to go to her mothers house she said she couldn’t sleep here.

Well That was last night so my head space has been wacked. Then at work I All most ripped my boss head off for pushing my buttons. I have just been on edge all day. She text me “Good morning around 8am. And “I love you around 12pm and I’m sorry around 8pm. I text her I love you and I’m sorry too at 8:07pm. She hasn’t respond it’s now 10:30pm

You are a sweet man

click to expand

I don’t know if you are joking or serious.

Posted by FactCheck

Wtf?^ um yeah isnt she a capricorn and not a water sign? Pretty sure she just thinks its time for you to grow up or get out.

Whatever way you want to look at it, at the end of the day it is still manipulation. Yes, give Caps what they want by letting them make your decisions for you.

As mentioned,

Posted by blvckphvze

I could understand if you weren't having sex all along, but to just suddenly decide this after 2 and a half years is quite selfish. This is something that you talk about and decide together, not something ya just enforce on your partner after being together this long. I don't know how she thought this was going to do her any favours. It's manipulating

click to expand

If anything ... At least this finally opened up the lines of communication... And it sounds like it was long over due. Now y'all need to work on actually communicating and figuring out how you both want to proceed. Actually hear each other out... understand where the other is coming from and compromise. She can't push you into something you're not quite ready for but on the flip side... You got show some movement that this is going somewhere or you're just wasting each other's time and energy.

Btw calling this man immature or childish for not wanting to do what the woman wants is also manipulative

The fuck with marriage and women seriously ? Lets go burn some witches and believe the earth is flat.

I know marriage is still very popular in Anglo-saxon society but why ? i tough people in western society were ditching religions for good.

Posted by stickshiftaddict

The fuck with marriage and women seriously ? Lets go burn some witches and believe the earth is flat.

I know marriage is still very popular in Anglo-saxon society but why ? i tough people in western society were ditching religions for good.

“It’s a mans world, but it wouldn’t be nothing with out a women or a girl”

That’s what she wants and when it’s good it’s good. Her happiness is mines too