Confused

I would like some insight about how to proceed and understand a situation i have with a Capricorn coworker, a few months ago i noticed his interest in me and i started teasing him and he responded really well, he showed me other sides of his personality (a warm, gentle and sensitive side), he till today didnt say anything about feelings and neither am i, now a few weeks ago we had a misunderstading where he said that the tone of my voice was weird but we resolved it, even though i feel like since then sth changed because even when he was talking normally to me there was this caution that wasnt there, like i was this perfect creature and now i have flaws and he cant comprehend that, now two weeks ago, i was blinded and confused when he took sth i used to say to tease him with too seriously and since then he is giving me the silent treatment, we barely speak (mostly for work) but he is very cold, even though i explained myself but its like we cant overcome this obstacle, mind you i didnt yell, insult, disrespect or had any argument with him, can someone help me understand this please? i tried talking to him today but he said this situation needs time to be developped and talked about.

Yes what did u say. Sounds guarded and sensitive

Overall, from experience, it's a very risky to date coworkers. Because when things get messy, work gets messy.

I don't like the silent treatment, however at work this should be something that is not done. You have to keep things professional.

Do you think it would be worth to carry this relationship even if he comes back with an explanation?

I feel silly writing this because I am somewhat going through the same thing and think I should take my own advise. 🙂

You probably started coming across a bit uncultured/uncivilized for his taste.

Maybe he thought you had more class but something your said or did sent off a red flag.

Or…he could be just focused on work and not wanting to shit where he eats

Posted by poppyflower
What was the misunderstanding?

"now two weeks ago, i was blinded and confused when he took sth i used to say to tease him with too seriously"

What did you say?

When i would compliment him about sth he would send a happy emoji and then say arent we all, like for ex.(he said to me that "he is fabulous" in a conversation, i said " yes u are extraordinary" then he said "u are too but we are all extraordinary", then i would say 'u are the father of the zodiac and that he is generous to share what he says and include others" he would laugh about it, this situation happened twice and i responded the same way, the third time he decided that it wasnt funny and he said that he doesnt like it when a person has something that he wants to say because i keep on repeating the same thing, but pass it on as a joke and if there is sth he wants me to say it, in order for us to clarify the situation, i told him that i find it weird yes but it isnt a topic for discussion and it is no issue for me whatsoever, and that if i thought it was an issue i wouldnt joke about it, after i said that i understand his point of view, he thanked me for my consideration and since then this silent/barely there convo began, as i can see he doesnt believe me, but we barely know each other at least if he would just talk we would overcome this situation or move on.

He said not only but all

Seems he’s trying to set boundaries

Due to work

Monday, i sent him a message where i said that i wanted to share my thoughts about the situation, and i said that our bond become serious and too formal, and that it was sad since we had a very good vibe between us, i also said that i am not looking for an explanation,( mind you i have my pride too, its not like i would ask why is he being cold towards me) i said also "that one step forward and ten steps backwards would make things lose their appeal with time", and that "i thought that we would have a solid friendship but sometimes what we want and what happen are two different things", he read it all, then he said "thanks for sharing your thoughts but to go over every single thing i said needs time to developp" i said that "when he is ready i am here", he said ok thanks. Yesterday, he was so silent, he didnt speak to anyone but he moved alot and everytime even if i dont look directly at him i can see from the mirror of the window by me that he is staring, the only reaction i got was when a coworker came close to me to speak about an issue related to work and there was noise so we were close talking, the cap guy went to go get a coffee and when he got back he saw us and he stayed standing,frosen till i finished talking that he took his seat, an hour later the coworker again came by me and the cap guy stared holes at us, i am not trying to make him jealous and he know those people, we work for 8 years now, he was hot and cold in the beginning but he got steady after a short while, i initiated most of the conversation subjects between us but he took care of me in his own way, some days he would be active and others passive, but this coldness is new, its like he is hiding himself and putting walls between us, we didnt even had an argument, or disrespected him, i am flexible and understanding

He is simple returning the feelings you have given him. Will you pass his test?

Posted by dragonh0rsecvck
1. None of the Caps I know believe in astrology and they'd prefer not to talk about it. actually my Cap ex just said to me "is Mercury in Uranus? it is when you have in a rectal thermometer" x) you could call astrology "white girl bs" and a Capricorn may bust up laughing.

2. unfortunately Caps are so sarcastic and defensive that they often assume compliments are sarcasm. I'm not sure of your sign, but I'm Leo rising and Cancer Mercury with Venus cazimi in Gemini so I'm heavy-handed with genuine compliments and praise but I expect acknowledgement of my strengths in return. I figure society is so negative and I'm so thin-skinned I want to let people know I see and appreciate their efforts, gifts and talents. You might be similar. Capricorns are of course like the Starks, flourishing when the general outlook is "life is dark and full of terrors". this was good during the Holocaust (few Capricorns falling for propaganda and joining the Nazi regime) and during the pandemic (my M.D. Cap sister loved being a keyboard warrior proponent of the vaccine) but bad for peace, harmony, and trusting compliments. so he let your compliment slide the first two times but then figured you were being cryptic.

I would forget about the whole thing and wait to see if he's really worth your concern... if you're both truly decent people, this misunderstanding shouldn't deter you from getting along again in the future.

do they thrive on drama and strife? coz their stonewalling and pessimistic qualities would usually lead to that.

Posted by StubbornSag
Well, why are you repetitive?! I mean saying same thing over and over kinda gets annoying. Especially as the comment above states, Caps don't believe in astrology. Most of them say that so don't see the point of insisting on bringing it up. Also, expect resolution fo the situation withing months and don't ask more questions. When he's done solving it in his head, he'll come around. Or not.

I dont think its the astrology part that is the issue here but he probably thinks that i blame him for sth or i am criticizing him, that what got him upset since i didnt developp my side, and he said he wanted me to talk in order for us to clarifiy the situation, yes he is sensitive and i find this situation absurd but i know him for years just not on this level

Posted by failedd
Sounds like a man child with fragile masculinity, do you really want to date a boy like that?

I agree with what u are saying, i am 36 its not like i need this in my life, now i am just focusing on myself and my life, i just wanted to understand

Posted by SureShotCap
He is simple returning the feelings you have given him. Will you pass his test?

Can u elaborate please? What feelings ?

he was probably just being nice and humoring you with the comments at first, trying to subtly imply that he does not want special attention or treatment by saying "we all", but that seems to have flown over your head and his next resort is to freeze everything by not engaging or responding. if he responds positively to you that means he will just get more of the same, or more, which he is not comfortable with. what other option does he have in the workplace to keep things cordial and professional and also not blow up your relationship over weird comments?

Posted by pouch42
he was probably just being nice and humoring you with the comments at first, trying to subtly imply that he does not want special attention or treatment by saying "we all", but that seems to have flown over your head and his next resort is to freeze everything by not engaging or responding. if he responds positively to you that means he will just get more of the same, or more, which he is not comfortable with. what other option does he have in the workplace to keep things cordial and professional and also not blow up your relationship over weird comments?

him asking me to be generous with him on all levels isnt flown over my head, because he asked if i can be attentive and more open to him and he even thanked me when i started to be that way with him, he would always initiate a conversation if i am having a bad day and he would always make sure i am comfortable and taken care of, like i said its not about astrology or how silly the conversation is, it is much deeper than that

Please tell him that you cannot read his mind. That will make him think a little bit because people who do the silent treatment are like that. If he is reasonable, he'll be like "damn, I'm not proving anything by being silent" but then if he's stubborn, it might be because he's protecting hurt feelings. I don't know, it sounds like you're being persistent though so.. you don't know what's going on yet you're willing to try. Maybe relax a little?

Posted by RollergirlOrc
Please tell him that you cannot read his mind. That will make him think a little bit because people who do the silent treatment are like that. If he is reasonable, he'll be like "damn, I'm not proving anything by being silent" but then if he's stubborn, it might be because he's protecting hurt feelings. I don't know, it sounds like you're being persistent though so.. you don't know what's going on yet you're willing to try. Maybe relax a little?

I appreciate your advice, i am very relax, after what lastly said he got colder and now he tries to stay longer at work to avoid us crossing paths outside, maybe he thinks i would snap or create a scene when he doesnt have any reason to think so, he is being ridiculous, ,i dont think i would lose more time on him, i wont be making effort for a man who refuses to talk

Posted by breeswag

Posted by SureShotCap
He is simple returning the feelings you have given him. Will you pass his test?

Can u elaborate please? What feelings ?

click to expand

Judgement and belittlement.

He doesn't understand your flirting with him. He see's it as your challenging him or doubting his character. In other words, you don't believe in him. Since he now see's you a negative person, you cannot be a priority, thus now giving you less energy.

Capricorns categorize everyone, some fit in different categories. Once you FU your scratched from that category.

So for an example, you a girlfriend type. You scratch yourself, you can be re-categorize, if your lucky into the friend-zone.

Posted by SureShotCap

Posted by breeswag

Posted by SureShotCap
He is simple returning the feelings you have given him. Will you pass his test?

Can u elaborate please? What feelings ?
click to expand

Judgement and belittlement.

He doesn't understand your flirting with him. He see's it as your challenging him or doubting his character. In other words, you don't believe in him. Since he now see's you a negative person, you cannot be a priority, thus now giving you less energy.

Capricorns categorize everyone, some fit in different categories. Once you FU your scratched from that category.

So for an example, you a girlfriend type. You scratch yourself, you can be re-categorize, if your lucky into the friend-zone.

click to expand

Like i said above, he was the one who asked if i can be generous with him on all levels, when i asked how he said to be more attentive and open to him, he even said that he appreciate me being generous towards him, he even thanked me, and i never flirted with him, it was all a friendly banter, nothing more nothing less, when i kept to myself he would get restless to get my attention or ask if i was ok, i never crossed the line with him

Maybe it was a conquest thing and now he’s bored and moving on. Sorry these types exists

Sound like he wanted to you to open up n now that you have he’s backpedaling

I have a Capricorn male best friend..we have been friends since 6 th grade now we are in 12 th ... This guy was very open to me till 11 th but from the ending of 12 th , he started behaving weirdly.. like his group changed...now he is in the rich ..fun loving group... We still talk but the intensity is missing... Like we share dreams, future goals etc..but not our old double meaning ...and he sometimes he even become so nervous when i flirt with him ...which was cool earlier... Infact we used to joke about it ... He still site by me, touches me subtly ..etc ... But he has completely broken with me in social media, no text , he even hides me from world... Never posts pictures with me , but does the same with unknown people. I started after i was in a semi relationship with another guy .. is he jealous or hiding his feelings for me

So Im currently married to a cap man (7 years) and I've learned alot about cappies from him and being around all of his capricorn friends and the one thing I've learned is that capricorns are very sensitive with their feelings when they like you and since they arent good with understanding those feelings they tend to act cold and aloof especially if they are emotionally immature. In order for them to better process their feelings they need space and time to do so hence why he is telling you that situation needs time to develop. My cappie was like that at first but overtime he grew out of that type of behavior. It was hard at first for me to guage him but it got easier over time once he became emotionally mature. When theyre cold or aloof, it doesnt mean they have a problem with you, sometimes it means that they have alot on their mind and in this case he's probably processing the situation when hes around you and sense he doesnt understand his feelings at that moment he is coming off detached and cold. Give him space and let him open up to you in his own timing. They NEED that time trust me.. Once he has completely processed his feelings then he will be back.

Posted by breeswag
I would like some insight about how to proceed and understand a situation i have with a Capricorn coworker, a few months ago i noticed his interest in me and i started teasing him and he responded really well, he showed me other sides of his personality (a warm, gentle and sensitive side), he till today didnt say anything about feelings and neither am i, now a few weeks ago we had a misunderstading where he said that the tone of my voice was weird but we resolved it, even though i feel like since then sth changed because even when he was talking normally to me there was this caution that wasnt there, like i was this perfect creature and now i have flaws and he cant comprehend that, now two weeks ago, i was blinded and confused when he took sth i used to say to tease him with too seriously and since then he is giving me the silent treatment, we barely speak (mostly for work) but he is very cold, even though i explained myself but its like we cant overcome this obstacle, mind you i didnt yell, insult, disrespect or had any argument with him, can someone help me understand this please? i tried talking to him today but he said this situation needs time to be developped and talked about.

I can't give you insight on what he's thinking. People have issues and preferences. What I can tell you is what to do to get his attention back. Act like you don't know him outside of a professional capacity. Do not even ask him how today is going. If he speaks to you remain kind and professional. He will start communicating with you again. It will work because unfortunately, he's already aware of your interest in him. He wants that attention believe it or not.