Hellaciously tuned in
@Alittlebirdie
6 Years
Comments: 6 · Posts: 50 · Topics: 6
Caught in the Gemini cycle…
Is he an alcoholic? He sounds like one.
Posted by geminiflyby
Is he an alcoholic? He sounds like one.
He doesn’t always drink but when he does & he hits it hard!
This too much for me to read. Maybe if you break em down into 5 posts that'll be less strain on my brain. No guarantee I'll answer but I'll at least give it some attention by just reading it.
Posted by Wizardz_
Why exactly do you love him? 🥴🥴🥴
p.s Welcome to dxp. I get the feeling you may experience an initiation by fire with this thread 😆
Haha I know I didn’t highlight the best of qualities here but there a lot more that I left out due to the length…he does have a lot to offer.
Posted by Jumpin_Jupiter
This too much for me to read. Maybe if you break em down into 5 posts that'll be less strain on my brain. No guarantee I'll answer but I'll at least give it some attention by just reading it.
Haha! Understandable 😅
Posted by AlittlebirdiePosted by Wizardz_
Why exactly do you love him? 🥴🥴🥴
p.s Welcome to dxp. I get the feeling you may experience an initiation by fire with this thread 😆
Haha I know I didn’t highlight the best of qualities here but there a lot more that I left out due to the length…he does have a lot to offer.click to expand
He’s just repeatedly chosen not to offer those things to you and his son.
This is depressing as hell to read.
From what you describe he been the aggressor, actively seeking you out at your place of employment. But also rejecting you, blocking you. Geminis love their games but this is some sadistic shit, not at all jokes.
Ignoring you during your pregnancy and missing his sons birth is one thing. But it took 6 months for him to even meet his son. Tf. And just as a prop to show to his family it seems.
Sounds like he does fuck all when it comes to supporting his son. I hope you are at least getting money out of this loser because it certainly doesn’t seem like he is changing diapers.
And your still fucking him… that is beyond me.
From what you describe he been the aggressor, actively seeking you out at your place of employment. But also rejecting you, blocking you. Geminis love their games but this is some sadistic shit, not at all jokes.
Ignoring you during your pregnancy and missing his sons birth is one thing. But it took 6 months for him to even meet his son. Tf. And just as a prop to show to his family it seems.
Sounds like he does fuck all when it comes to supporting his son. I hope you are at least getting money out of this loser because it certainly doesn’t seem like he is changing diapers.
And your still fucking him… that is beyond me.
Posted by Alittlebirdie
So where do I start…?
I met this man two years ago while I was serving at a restaurant at the time, he was a customer & when I asked “is there anything else I can get you this evening?” He replies “yea, you can leave me your number.” Cheesy I know! Normally my response to customers asking me things of that nature I declined, or told them I was married. Not him haha. He immediately texted me when he left the restaurant & I ran into him at a place down the street where coworkers & I went to meet up after work. He stops me dead in the middle of the place & starts asking me where I was from & where I’d gone to school, just baffled he hadn’t met me before. Which he does know basically everyone in the town we live in.
Moving forward a bit we texted & snapped pretty often. I was kinda still hung up on someone else at the time & honest about it. He kept trying to get me to hangout & I always had a reason not too. & if I talked about the other guy he would just always say things like “well you should have just hungout with me instead.” Once I stopped being hung up on the other guy I decided it was okay to hangout with the Gemini. He met me at a parking lot where I rode with him a couple towns away & we got milkshakes. The town we went too he spends a lot of time there with friends in the summer at the lake, it was kinda colder at the time so not much happening there so not so much to show me at the time but we did a little driving around. We still texted & he would come in the restaurant where I worked & I kinda would ignore him a little bit & he would get up & go to the bathroom to pass by where my work station was so he could see me, this he admitted to me later. Finally he came in one night when we closed a little earlier & we ended up going to have drinks with a few other people after I was off work & we ended up hooking up.
Still texting after that saying he had a good time & hopes to do it again & I keep trying to set the stage to make that happen. Without going into every last detail & making this a forever long post, he ends up getting upset with me & saying that I’m just not the girl for him & he blocks me. I’m annoying & text too much. But every other day it was fine? I was confused & just left it be.
He ended up coming into my work on Christmas Eve & we talked generally a little bit. Not about anything particular, but he ends up calling me at like 2 am later on drunk telling me “he wants to try” when I was never under the assumption we were ever trying for anything. I never tried to get him into a relationship, I only tried to see him & meet up whenever I was free & that’s where the problems seemed to start forming. But I just continue the conversation with him about other things & on Christmas Day after I get back into town I meet up with him.
Moving forward a bit for lengths sake, he ends up getting frustrated with me again, saying “I’m annoying”…”he’s told me multiple times he didn’t want anything serious” which he really never did, never was it brought up. Not that I never wanted to have the conversation I was just trying to keep things simple & I assumed we were on the same page about only seeing eachother, maybe I was just hopeful.
Moving forward aging because it’s always the same argument he says “I can’t get it through my head that he doesn’t want to be with me” & he’s gathering this from me wanting to hangout or have sex consistently. I never ask him to define our relationship. Though when he did explode & tell me things like that I would say “so you’re just using me at your convenience?” So I can understand where his remarks would come from..but also it wasn’t like I was pressuring him.
I ended up pregnant. He knew I was not on birth control & I was using Plan B’s. I sent him snaps & texts everytime I bought & took the contraceptive. He was calm when I told him then later while texting tells me in a round about wag he didn’t want me to keep the baby. We have multiple different conversations about it, maturely. I express how uncomfortable I was with having an abortion & that I didn’t feel like it was the right situation (my opinion).
He clams I’m difficult & starts a whole different argument. He would often (still does) call when he’s drunk & that’s where the feelings come out the most. While he’s trying to tell me how I shouldn’t have this baby he flat out says that he can’t have a child because he has problems. Never elaborates on that even when I ask. As the pregnancy progresses I try to keep him involved. At first he would respond with “I don’t know what you don’t understand about this” meaning again that I’m “thinking we are in a relationship & about to have a family.” Because I’ve communicated with him that I have an appointment if he’s like to go. He accused me of getting pregnant on purpose too. He would still call drunk & come over sometimes, he’s kiss my stomach while we were being intimate & sometimes talk about the how things were going to be for the baby. “My child will have everything he wants, even if you say no” just randomly. Then he started saying to me that he wants a blood test done to be sure that the baby is his. When it came to trying to choose a name, he was hit & miss with that as well, then he would randomly text me “what do you think about this name___?” Saying he’d like either his first or middle name included in the babies name. So he was very back & forth with the entire situation…
Flashing forward he ends up blocking me again…while I’m still pregnant for maybe a couple months. I was very emotional & probably annoying, but understandably. He ends up not coming to the hospital when I had his son. Which I was scheduled to be indicted so it was planned. His excuse was “he had to work & couldn’t miss” which he literally works for himself & does whatever he wants. He does actually do work but I know him & if he doesn’t want to go he just flat out doesn’t go that day. He ends up calling drunk the night I had the baby & sends me a picture of him as a baby. I don’t exactly remember the conversation because it was a big day.
I send him photos & let him know we made it home the next day (drove myself home). Three days after I had his son he calls me at 5:30 am from a county jail…arrested for a DUI & asked me to come get him. The call was super short so I didn’t get a lot of information but I know where he is & I figure out what for & what needs to be done to get him out. I waited until about 7 to get him. I though about it all day & wasn’t sure I wanted too…he just didn’t show up to his sons birth— But I put my pin his shoes & jumped through all the hoops to go & get him. Of course I had the baby with me so I thought alright he HAS to see him now. He gets in the car & it was like he couldn’t look at him…? He starts making phone calls on what needs to be done to get his car & all that. He figures it out & I take him to where his car is. He gets out & thanks me & I say before he walks away “do you want to hold your son?” He says “I just got out of jail, I’m dirty!” Which is understandable but I’m just so confused how nonchalant he was.
Next day he texts me to thank me again & to see if I would be in town to repay me for what I had to pay to get him out of jail. Then he calls to see if I wanted to come over & bring the baby so his mom can see him. I go, & it’s my first time meeting his family as well. He holds him & looks so natural.
Baby is now 6 months old (babies middle name is Gemini’s first name, & I did give him his last name) he loves his son & says every chance he gets “that’s MY BABY” he does not ask to get him, he asks US to come over & by us I mean like he expects me to stay too. He has had him alone before & does great with him, but he is just adamant on me staying there with him. Same argument happens about us NOT being together so I have offered to take the baby to him to visit & he doesn’t have to see me. But it just never happens. One day “he hates having to deal with me & tells me this is why he never wanted to have a child with me” the next day he’s calling late at night drunk telling me “now you know I love you to pieces” We are still physical & just a couple weeks ago on one of his drunken calls he’s telling me how when he’s sleeping with someone he doesn’t like to share, & how “I know he’s not trying to be with anyone else”
I love this guy deeply & he knows it. I don’t expect anything from him (relationship wise) but WHY IS HE SO CONFUSING!!
He's not the confusing person. You are... Stand for something. If you want him to have a relationship with you, stop acting like a booty call. You've done nothing but the same behaviors and expect different results. The world and the people in it DO NOT CHANGE!!! We change our minds and we change our approach.
You should’ve just told him you were married
He’s playing with his food (you) and will continue to play with his food because he’s never had anyone check him.
Posted by LadyNeptune
This is depressing as hell to read.
From what you describe he been the aggressor, actively seeking you out at your place of employment. But also rejecting you, blocking you. Geminis love their games but this is some sadistic shit, not at all jokes.
Ignoring you during your pregnancy and missing his sons birth is one thing. But it took 6 months for him to even meet his son. Tf. And just as a prop to show to his family it seems.
Sounds like he does fuck all when it comes to supporting his son. I hope you are at least getting money out of this loser because it certainly doesn’t seem like he is changing diapers.
And your still fucking him… that is beyond me.
Very had to read because you see the car accident coming.
Gotta be more protective of your uterus OP
I am a Gemini and I hate Gemini men with passion. For being foreign to me even same sign.
I see by how OP is as a woman - they will probably end up together merely because life will run its course and he will find that she is the only one out there who cares.
Maybe he is THAT good in bed…irresistible?
And yes. It was very sad to read but OP sound like a strong independent woman otherwise.
She is in love…who can understand THAT?
I see by how OP is as a woman - they will probably end up together merely because life will run its course and he will find that she is the only one out there who cares.
Maybe he is THAT good in bed…irresistible?
And yes. It was very sad to read but OP sound like a strong independent woman otherwise.
She is in love…who can understand THAT?
Posted by DMVPosted by LadyNeptune
This is depressing as hell to read.
From what you describe he been the aggressor, actively seeking you out at your place of employment. But also rejecting you, blocking you. Geminis love their games but this is some sadistic shit, not at all jokes.
Ignoring you during your pregnancy and missing his sons birth is one thing. But it took 6 months for him to even meet his son. Tf. And just as a prop to show to his family it seems.
Sounds like he does fuck all when it comes to supporting his son. I hope you are at least getting money out of this loser because it certainly doesn’t seem like he is changing diapers.
And your still fucking him… that is beyond me.
Very had to read because you see the car accident coming.
Gotta be more protective of your uterus OPclick to expand
Child #2 is incoming and more babies is not going to change this man.
I can’t believe he missed the birth of his own child because of work.
You a better woman than me gurl.
You a better woman than me gurl.
🔥 mess. With a kid involved. smh
Are you a Capricorn/earth sign by any chance? Geminis really be fucking with earth signs' heads lately.
Posted by DMV
I can’t believe he missed the birth of his own child because of work.
You a better woman than me gurl.
Yeah. As nice and forgiving I am, I don’t think I could easily forget this! I think I would be livid!!
P.S. He didn’t miss it because of work. He missed it because it sounds like he doesn’t want much to do with his child, anyway. It is very sad. But I know lots of stories like this where a man feels “trapped”. If he didn’t want mama for more, he is not gonna want the baby either.
He chased you and you fell for him.
Then you started chasing him because he stopped his pursuit. Very clearly you did want a relationship which is why he kept saying he didn’t want one.
Then you got pregnant…
Then you started chasing him because he stopped his pursuit. Very clearly you did want a relationship which is why he kept saying he didn’t want one.
Then you got pregnant…
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by DMVPosted by LadyNeptune
This is depressing as hell to read.
From what you describe he been the aggressor, actively seeking you out at your place of employment. But also rejecting you, blocking you. Geminis love their games but this is some sadistic shit, not at all jokes.
Ignoring you during your pregnancy and missing his sons birth is one thing. But it took 6 months for him to even meet his son. Tf. And just as a prop to show to his family it seems.
Sounds like he does fuck all when it comes to supporting his son. I hope you are at least getting money out of this loser because it certainly doesn’t seem like he is changing diapers.
And your still fucking him… that is beyond me.
Very had to read because you see the car accident coming.
Gotta be more protective of your uterus OP
Child #2 is incoming and more babies is not going to change this man.click to expand
Absolutely not, no second child!
This one was totally unplanned, I was taking contraceptives until I got actual birth control but obviously they failed before I made my actual appointment. I love my son though & truly believe everything happens for a reason. Or else that’s just what I tell myself to make it more bearable 😅(kidding)
Really though, I do know how ignorant it must sound & honestly there is more details that I just didn’t type out because of the overwhelming length of the post. Ultimately, how I see it is I know how it is to feel misunderstood, also how I myself put a wall up to defend my true self. I’m not making excuses but merely trying to make sense of it. Are his drunken words really what he feels? Do I deserve to know without alcohol being involved, yes. But we aren’t all built the same & sometimes what we do need is for someone to actually understand us even without actually saying it. Logically, I should have walked away many altercations ago. Simply because I know the person I am & I deserve what I give at the very least. There is also times where I am difficult as well, but yet he still wakes up the very next day & speaks to me like nothing ever happened. Again, not making excuses but just looking at the entirety of it all.
As far as missing the birth of his child, he’s the one who has to live with that. He’s mentioned that one day he will obviously have to have the conversation with his son, but I truly believe he was having a mental freak out. To me that is not a good enough reason, but I also have other children & a totally different midset than him. He seems to like to control every aspect of his life & I think that’s why this was such a hard things for him to except. Currently he will flat out say that “he loves his baby” gives him nicknames, & does not hesitate to show affection. He’s protective & proud. Also possibly learning that sometimes the best things in life are surprises❤️
I’m a Pisces sun with a Gemini moon btw😉
Posted by AlittlebirdiePosted by LadyNeptunePosted by DMVPosted by LadyNeptune
This is depressing as hell to read.
From what you describe he been the aggressor, actively seeking you out at your place of employment. But also rejecting you, blocking you. Geminis love their games but this is some sadistic shit, not at all jokes.
Ignoring you during your pregnancy and missing his sons birth is one thing. But it took 6 months for him to even meet his son. Tf. And just as a prop to show to his family it seems.
Sounds like he does fuck all when it comes to supporting his son. I hope you are at least getting money out of this loser because it certainly doesn’t seem like he is changing diapers.
And your still fucking him… that is beyond me.
Very had to read because you see the car accident coming.
Gotta be more protective of your uterus OP
Child #2 is incoming and more babies is not going to change this man.
Absolutely not, no second child!
This one was totally unplanned, I was taking contraceptives until I got actual birth control but obviously they failed before I made my actual appointment. I love my son though & truly believe everything happens for a reason. Or else that’s just what I tell myself to make it more bearable 😅(kidding)
Really though, I do know how ignorant it must sound & honestly there is more details that I just didn’t type out because of the overwhelming length of the post. Ultimately, how I see it is I know how it is to feel misunderstood, also how I myself put a wall up to defend my true self. I’m not making excuses but merely trying to make sense of it. Are his drunken words really what he feels? Do I deserve to know without alcohol being involved, yes. But we aren’t all built the same & sometimes what we do need is for someone to actually understand us even without actually saying it. Logically, I should have walked away many altercations ago. Simply because I know the person I am & I deserve what I give at the very least. There is also times where I am difficult as well, but yet he still wakes up the very next day & speaks to me like nothing ever happened. Again, not making excuses but just looking at the entirety of it all.
As far as missing the birth of his child, he’s the one who has to live with that. He’s mentioned that one day he will obviously have to have the conversation with his son, but I truly believe he was having a mental freak out. To me that is not a good enough reason, but I also have other children & a totally different midset than him. He seems to like to control every aspect of his life & I think that’s why this was such a hard things for him to except. Currently he will flat out say that “he loves his baby” gives him nicknames, & does not hesitate to show affection. He’s protective & proud. Also possibly learning that sometimes the best things in life are surprises❤️
I’m a Pisces sun with a Gemini moon btw😉click to expand
I am laughing at the fact that he had 9 months to get used to the fact that he is getting a child.
But you talking like if child was cooked in a few days to the full doneness.
However I do believe in miracles and if you will be keeping him around - he might get used to the whole situation and settle OR he will find younger version of you in a few years and desire that it’s party time again! You seems strong enough to withstand storms like that. So you should be fine.
Eventually he must calm down and you might end up together. Who knows🤷♀️
I have friends like this. 2 of them. Both kept their men against all odds and us making faces and being 100% sure that it is not going to work. And it worked. And considering our age it isn’t going to change. For one it started at 25. Now 55.
For another it started at 40. Now 60. He is younger. So…I won’t knock it down.
And you know what is funny. People here will believe in man who is twice younger than a woman CAN be in love with pure intentions…but your story is NOT going to end well. I say fuck it!
And after all it’s your uterus and as long as you aren’t asking me to lend you money - I think you are ok! 👍
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Still texting after that saying he had a good time & hopes to do it again & I keep trying to set the stage to make that happen. Without going into every last detail & making this a forever long post, he ends up getting upset with me & saying that I’m just not the girl for him & he blocks me. I’m annoying & text too much. But every other day it was fine? I was confused & just left it be.
He ended up coming into my work on Christmas Eve & we talked generally a little bit. Not about anything particular, but he ends up calling me at like 2 am later on drunk telling me “he wants to try” when I was never under the assumption we were ever trying for anything. I never tried to get him into a relationship, I only tried to see him & meet up whenever I was free & that’s where the problems seemed to start forming. But I just continue the conversation with him about other things & on Christmas Day after I get back into town I meet up with him.
Moving forward a bit for lengths sake, he ends up getting frustrated with me again, saying “I’m annoying”…”he’s told me multiple times he didn’t want anything serious” which he really never did, never was it brought up. Not that I never wanted to have the conversation I was just trying to keep things simple & I assumed we were on the same page about only seeing eachother, maybe I was just hopeful.
Moving forward aging because it’s always the same argument he says “I can’t get it through my head that he doesn’t want to be with me” & he’s gathering this from me wanting to hangout or have sex consistently. I never ask him to define our relationship. Though when he did explode & tell me things like that I would say “so you’re just using me at your convenience?” So I can understand where his remarks would come from..but also it wasn’t like I was pressuring him.
I ended up pregnant. He knew I was not on birth control & I was using Plan B’s. I sent him snaps & texts everytime I bought & took the contraceptive. He was calm when I told him then later while texting tells me in a round about wag he didn’t want me to keep the baby. We have multiple different conversations about it, maturely. I express how uncomfortable I was with having an abortion & that I didn’t feel like it was the right situation (my opinion).
He clams I’m difficult & starts a whole different argument. He would often (still does) call when he’s drunk & that’s where the feelings come out the most. While he’s trying to tell me how I shouldn’t have this baby he flat out says that he can’t have a child because he has problems. Never elaborates on that even when I ask. As the pregnancy progresses I try to keep him involved. At first he would respond with “I don’t know what you don’t understand about this” meaning again that I’m “thinking we are in a relationship & about to have a family.” Because I’ve communicated with him that I have an appointment if he’s like to go. He accused me of getting pregnant on purpose too. He would still call drunk & come over sometimes, he’s kiss my stomach while we were being intimate & sometimes talk about the how things were going to be for the baby. “My child will have everything he wants, even if you say no” just randomly. Then he started saying to me that he wants a blood test done to be sure that the baby is his. When it came to trying to choose a name, he was hit & miss with that as well, then he would randomly text me “what do you think about this name___?” Saying he’d like either his first or middle name included in the babies name. So he was very back & forth with the entire situation…
Flashing forward he ends up blocking me again…while I’m still pregnant for maybe a couple months. I was very emotional & probably annoying, but understandably. He ends up not coming to the hospital when I had his son. Which I was scheduled to be indicted so it was planned. His excuse was “he had to work & couldn’t miss” which he literally works for himself & does whatever he wants. He does actually do work but I know him & if he doesn’t want to go he just flat out doesn’t go that day. He ends up calling drunk the night I had the baby & sends me a picture of him as a baby. I don’t exactly remember the conversation because it was a big day.
I send him photos & let him know we made it home the next day (drove myself home). Three days after I had his son he calls me at 5:30 am from a county jail…arrested for a DUI & asked me to come get him. The call was super short so I didn’t get a lot of information but I know where he is & I figure out what for & what needs to be done to get him out. I waited until about 7 to get him. I though about it all day & wasn’t sure I wanted too…he just didn’t show up to his sons birth— But I put my pin his shoes & jumped through all the hoops to go & get him. Of course I had the baby with me so I thought alright he HAS to see him now. He gets in the car & it was like he couldn’t look at him…? He starts making phone calls on what needs to be done to get his car & all that. He figures it out & I take him to where his car is. He gets out & thanks me & I say before he walks away “do you want to hold your son?” He says “I just got out of jail, I’m dirty!” Which is understandable but I’m just so confused how nonchalant he was.
Next day he texts me to thank me again & to see if I would be in town to repay me for what I had to pay to get him out of jail. Then he calls to see if I wanted to come over & bring the baby so his mom can see him. I go, & it’s my first time meeting his family as well. He holds him & looks so natural.
Baby is now 6 months old (babies middle name is Gemini’s first name, & I did give him his last name) he loves his son & says every chance he gets “that’s MY BABY” he does not ask to get him, he asks US to come over & by us I mean like he expects me to stay too. He has had him alone before & does great with him, but he is just adamant on me staying there with him. Same argument happens about us NOT being together so I have offered to take the baby to him to visit & he doesn’t have to see me. But it just never happens. One day “he hates having to deal with me & tells me this is why he never wanted to have a child with me” the next day he’s calling late at night drunk telling me “now you know I love you to pieces” We are still physical & just a couple weeks ago on one of his drunken calls he’s telling me how when he’s sleeping with someone he doesn’t like to share, & how “I know he’s not trying to be with anyone else”
I love this guy deeply & he knows it. I don’t expect anything from him (relationship wise) but WHY IS HE SO CONFUSING!!