Celibacy

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by Tenpxd on Saturday, June 20, 2020 and has 137 replies.

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Profile picture of AbbyNormal
@AbbyNormal
12 Years5,000+ PostsTaurus

I am. I’ve had a troubling past sexually and I finally got to a point where I realized and embraced that I don’t owe anyone anything and my body is mine to do what I wish. I had very poor self worth and made a lot of bad decisions out of lack of sexual and relationship education. I’m happy not to have it as a main focus in my life. I can have sex any time but it’s not one of my motivators—I want a lot more out of life. Self respect is priceless and when I’m ready, I will. But I haven’t had anyone show me they are worth giving myself to in a very long time. Tired of regrets. I’m not living like that anymore.

What’s your motivation for celibacy? I think it’s been over two years now but I can’t really remember. I haven’t been focused on it at all really. I’ve been focused on improving my soul, and what I can bring to the table.

Profile picture of PuzzlePieces
@PuzzlePieces
7 Years1,000+ Posts

Does this mean no dating? Or dating while celibate? And for how long? Inquiring minds lol

I don’t think if it as celibate or abstinence.. I’m focused on someone being a relationship possibility, not casual. So of course if I haven’t found someone like that, I’m not having sex.

Profile picture of AbbyNormal
@AbbyNormal
12 Years5,000+ PostsTaurus

Posted by saggurl88

Good luck.

Sounds boring though.

Far from. I find a sexually focused life to be boring, but to each their own. Sex becomes boring to me when it’s lackluster. And that’s what it always seemed to be for me before the actual groundwork was laid. I just crave so much more than just the physical. Best sex I ever had was being in love and making love, everything else just isn’t the same for me like not at all on the same level. I find that physicality is empty for me without more, I’m a spiritual being and I need a deeper connection to truly enjoy it myself. There’s so much more in life and in love to me.

Profile picture of LibraSupreme
@LibraSupreme
8 Years1,000+ Posts

I wouldn't call my process celibacy but I tend to take tolerance brakes just to test myself. Usually I set a goal for 3 months periodically and I actually still date casually during that time frame. Some have side dick I'm sure but what do I care it's about me being the boss of my strong urges. Side note does bjs count as still being celibate.

Profile picture of MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by Aqua-Marine
Posted by AbbyNormal
Posted by saggurl88

Good luck.

Sounds boring though.

Far from. I find a sexually focused life to be boring, but to each their own. Sex becomes boring to me when it’s lackluster. And that’s what it always seemed to be for me before the actual groundwork was laid. I just crave so much more than just the physical. Best sex I ever had was being in love and making love, everything else just isn’t the same for me like not at all on the same level. I find that physicality is empty for me without more, I’m a spiritual being and I need a deeper connection to truly enjoy it myself. There’s so much more in life and in love to me.

Yeah same here. I feel the same way you do about it.

click to expand

I feel the same way too

Feeling sexually dependent on someone made me feel powerless and distracted me too much. I feel freer now.

Profile picture of Tenpxd
@Tenpxd
7 Years500+ Posts

Posted by AbbyNormal

I am. I’ve had a troubling past sexually and I finally got to a point where I realized and embraced that I don’t owe anyone anything and my body is mine to do what I wish. I had very poor self worth and made a lot of bad decisions out of lack of sexual and relationship education. I’m happy not to have it as a main focus in my life. I can have sex any time but it’s not one of my motivators—I want a lot more out of life. Self respect is priceless and when I’m ready, I will. But I haven’t had anyone show me they are worth giving myself to in a very long time. Tired of regrets. I’m not living like that anymore.

What’s your motivation for celibacy? I think it’s been over two years now but I can’t really remember. I haven’t been focused on it at all really. I’ve been focused on improving my soul, and what I can bring to the table.

Yes I was reading earlier a quote that said

You are sacred land, choose your travelers wisely.

Profile picture of Tenpxd
@Tenpxd
7 Years500+ Posts

Posted by LibraSupreme

I wouldn't call my process celibacy but I tend to take tolerance brakes just to test myself. Usually I set a goal for 3 months periodically and I actually still date casually during that time frame. Some have side dick I'm sure but what do I care it's about me being the boss of my strong urges. Side note does bjs count as still being celibate.

I like that 3 month goal

Bjs is part of the sexual act

Profile picture of Tenpxd
@Tenpxd
7 Years500+ Posts

Posted by Marai

There was a period in life where I have been for like 2,5 years or so. It's amazing, I was so focused and in the clouds at some point. It was like having superpowers. Good luck, it's great!

Drinks make me horny so I need to know who to be around and where to be when having drinks, it’s not easy to get the urge and pump the breaks

Profile picture of Tenpxd
@Tenpxd
7 Years500+ Posts

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Does this mean no dating? Or dating while celibate? And for how long? Inquiring minds lol

I don’t think if it as celibate or abstinence.. I’m focused on someone being a relationship possibility, not casual. So of course if I haven’t found someone like that, I’m not having sex.

Dating but no sex. It’s hard imo but I want to try this thing out.

Profile picture of Tenpxd
@Tenpxd
7 Years500+ Posts

Posted by AbbyNormal
Posted by saggurl88

Good luck.

Sounds boring though.

Far from. I find a sexually focused life to be boring, but to each their own. Sex becomes boring to me when it’s lackluster. And that’s what it always seemed to be for me before the actual groundwork was laid. I just crave so much more than just the physical. Best sex I ever had was being in love and making love, everything else just isn’t the same for me like not at all on the same level. I find that physicality is empty for me without more, I’m a spiritual being and I need a deeper connection to truly enjoy it myself. There’s so much more in life and in love to me.

click to expand

Being in love and making love is what I want to focus on

Profile picture of Tenpxd
@Tenpxd
7 Years500+ Posts

Posted by Aqua-Marine

I am. It is wonderful because you focus more on the less superficial parts of life.

I think it runs in my family though cause I can assure all these years Ive been living in the same house hold as my grandparents and single mom. Who rarely even dates these days. Aint nothing going on. I an so surprised by how hard it is for people to be celibate.

I have my own place and those sleep overs are tough... I gotta send to the couch

Profile picture of Tenpxd
@Tenpxd
7 Years500+ Posts

Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by Aqua-Marine
Posted by AbbyNormal
Posted by saggurl88

Good luck.

Sounds boring though.

Far from. I find a sexually focused life to be boring, but to each their own. Sex becomes boring to me when it’s lackluster. And that’s what it always seemed to be for me before the actual groundwork was laid. I just crave so much more than just the physical. Best sex I ever had was being in love and making love, everything else just isn’t the same for me like not at all on the same level. I find that physicality is empty for me without more, I’m a spiritual being and I need a deeper connection to truly enjoy it myself. There’s so much more in life and in love to me.

Yeah same here. I feel the same way you do about it.

I feel the same way too

Feeling sexually dependent on someone made me feel powerless and distracted me too much. I feel freer now.

click to expand

Sexually dependent how is that

Profile picture of Tenpxd
@Tenpxd
7 Years500+ Posts

Posted by Marai
Posted by Tenpxd
Posted by Marai

There was a period in life where I have been for like 2,5 years or so. It's amazing, I was so focused and in the clouds at some point. It was like having superpowers. Good luck, it's great!

Drinks make me horny so I need to know who to be around and where to be when having drinks, it’s not easy to get the urge and pump the breaks

Quit drinking too. Maybe start for a month first... You'll feel great 🙂

click to expand

I enjoy having drinks at least once a month

Profile picture of Tenpxd
@Tenpxd
7 Years500+ Posts

Posted by _mudra_

I have not had sex by choice for about 9ish months now. With the type of toys they make these days, you really don't need to go through all the trouble of dating and situationships HAHA

Toys are not fulfilling to everyone

Profile picture of MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by Tenpxd
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by Aqua-Marine
Posted by AbbyNormal
Posted by saggurl88

Good luck.

Sounds boring though.

Far from. I find a sexually focused life to be boring, but to each their own. Sex becomes boring to me when it’s lackluster. And that’s what it always seemed to be for me before the actual groundwork was laid. I just crave so much more than just the physical. Best sex I ever had was being in love and making love, everything else just isn’t the same for me like not at all on the same level. I find that physicality is empty for me without more, I’m a spiritual being and I need a deeper connection to truly enjoy it myself. There’s so much more in life and in love to me.

Yeah same here. I feel the same way you do about it.

I feel the same way too

Feeling sexually dependent on someone made me feel powerless and distracted me too much. I feel freer now.

Sexually dependent how is that

click to expand

As in with drugs, booze etc.....using it to feel better about myself. I've worked on not having to reach outside of myself to make me feel whole. I changed a pattern which wasn't healthy. I realised after seeing a father that was dependent on medication, that I may have have inherited his addictive personality, so i fixed it 💚

Profile picture of TheSag
@TheSag
9 Years1,000+ Posts

I don't really see any long-term benefits in being celibate but maybe it's different for women because most men who walk down the streets in the summer feel like forced monks anyway.

But when you want to lose weight and feel more healthy overall you don't quit eating, you just go on a diet.

Profile picture of MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by TheSag I don't really see any long-term benefits in being celibate but maybe it's different for women because most men who walk down the streets in the summer feel like forced monks anyway.

But when you want to lose weight and feel more healthy overall you don't quit eating, you just go on a diet.

If you quit eating, you die

If you quit sex, you don’t

🥴

Profile picture of TheSag
@TheSag
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by TheSag I don't really see any long-term benefits in being celibate but maybe it's different for women because most men who walk down the streets in the summer feel like forced monks anyway.

But when you want to lose weight and feel more healthy overall you don't quit eating, you just go on a diet.

If you quit eating, you die

If you quit sex, you don’t

🥴

click to expand

maybe not physically..

Let's say you like eating chocolate ice cream cake cookies. You know it's bad for you and you quit eating them and even though you don't die you would still DIE to eat them

Profile picture of MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by TheSag
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by TheSag I don't really see any long-term benefits in being celibate but maybe it's different for women because most men who walk down the streets in the summer feel like forced monks anyway.

But when you want to lose weight and feel more healthy overall you don't quit eating, you just go on a diet.

If you quit eating, you die

If you quit sex, you don’t

🥴

maybe not physically..

Let's say you like eating chocolate ice cream cake cookies. You know it's bad for you and you quit eating them and even though you don't die you would still DIE to eat them

click to expand

I gave up sugar and after the initial yearning, I’m not dying to eat it....

Profile picture of TheSag
@TheSag
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by TheSag
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by TheSag I don't really see any long-term benefits in being celibate but maybe it's different for women because most men who walk down the streets in the summer feel like forced monks anyway.

But when you want to lose weight and feel more healthy overall you don't quit eating, you just go on a diet.

If you quit eating, you die

If you quit sex, you don’t

🥴

maybe not physically..

Let's say you like eating chocolate ice cream cake cookies. You know it's bad for you and you quit eating them and even though you don't die you would still DIE to eat them

I gave up sugar and after the initial yearning, I’m not dying to eat it....

click to expand

Me too and you are right your body gets used to it but at times I still crave for sweets. I eat like 2 pieces of dark chocolate with low sugar every day because your body needs some sugar. I haven't eaten pizza for like almost 2 years though.

Profile picture of MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by TheSag
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by TheSag
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by TheSag I don't really see any long-term benefits in being celibate but maybe it's different for women because most men who walk down the streets in the summer feel like forced monks anyway.

But when you want to lose weight and feel more healthy overall you don't quit eating, you just go on a diet.

If you quit eating, you die

If you quit sex, you don’t

🥴

maybe not physically..

Let's say you like eating chocolate ice cream cake cookies. You know it's bad for you and you quit eating them and even though you don't die you would still DIE to eat them

I gave up sugar and after the initial yearning, I’m not dying to eat it....

Me too and you are right your body gets used to it but at times I still crave for sweets. I eat like 2 pieces of dark chocolate with low sugar every day because your body needs some sugar. I haven't eaten pizza for like almost 2 years though.

click to expand

Well done..did you give up for health reasons?

Profile picture of TheSag
@TheSag
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by TheSag
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by TheSag
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by TheSag I don't really see any long-term benefits in being celibate but maybe it's different for women because most men who walk down the streets in the summer feel like forced monks anyway.

But when you want to lose weight and feel more healthy overall you don't quit eating, you just go on a diet.

If you quit eating, you die

If you quit sex, you don’t

🥴

maybe not physically..

Let's say you like eating chocolate ice cream cake cookies. You know it's bad for you and you quit eating them and even though you don't die you would still DIE to eat them

I gave up sugar and after the initial yearning, I’m not dying to eat it....

Me too and you are right your body gets used to it but at times I still crave for sweets. I eat like 2 pieces of dark chocolate with low sugar every day because your body needs some sugar. I haven't eaten pizza for like almost 2 years though.

Well done..did you give up for health reasons?

click to expand

Yes and I am trying to prevent things. I know a few people who suffer from diabetes and it runs through my family as well. I am good but who knows what happens.

Profile picture of PuzzlePieces
@PuzzlePieces
7 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Tenpxd
Posted by PuzzlePieces

Does this mean no dating? Or dating while celibate? And for how long? Inquiring minds lol

I don’t think if it as celibate or abstinence.. I’m focused on someone being a relationship possibility, not casual. So of course if I haven’t found someone like that, I’m not having sex.

Dating but no sex. It’s hard imo but I want to try this thing out.

click to expand

Um ok. Maybe think in terms of relationship focused instead of sex focused. I find sex is way better with someone you care about instead of someone you just met. It’s been 3 1/2 months for me, since the last relationship. It’s not hard. Yes I’ve been dating.

Profile picture of MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by TheSag
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by TheSag
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by TheSag
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by TheSag I don't really see any long-term benefits in being celibate but maybe it's different for women because most men who walk down the streets in the summer feel like forced monks anyway.

But when you want to lose weight and feel more healthy overall you don't quit eating, you just go on a diet.

If you quit eating, you die

If you quit sex, you don’t

🥴

maybe not physically..

Let's say you like eating chocolate ice cream cake cookies. You know it's bad for you and you quit eating them and even though you don't die you would still DIE to eat them

I gave up sugar and after the initial yearning, I’m not dying to eat it....

Me too and you are right your body gets used to it but at times I still crave for sweets. I eat like 2 pieces of dark chocolate with low sugar every day because your body needs some sugar. I haven't eaten pizza for like almost 2 years though.

Well done..did you give up for health reasons?

Yes and I am trying to prevent things. I know a few people who suffer from diabetes and it runs through my family as well. I am good but who knows what happens.

click to expand

Wise man!

Profile picture of saggurl88
@saggurl88
13 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by Timon
Posted by saggurl88

This is why I keep an ex for maintenance purposes. It helps with regrets since there is no one new.

🤣🤣🤣

It's not a new mistake. It counts as an old one lol.

click to expand

I’m comfortable with doing it. We don’t get back together or anything. It’s just him being nice.

It’s like booking an appointment now 😂

I even say “Can I get a maintenance session in”

I have no shame. Lol.

Profile picture of MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by xXxAliiciaXxX
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by xXxAliiciaXxX

I've spent more time being celibate than sexually active.

It has its benefits but I wouldn't necessarily call it life changing.

Is that due to choice Alicia or circumstances?

Choice.

Although I've had one night stands and I'm not against them, I prefer sex with someone who knows me and cares for me and vice versa.

That's the best kind of sex imo.

click to expand

I’m the same

Profile picture of MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by saggurl88
Posted by Timon
Posted by saggurl88

This is why I keep an ex for maintenance purposes. It helps with regrets since there is no one new.

🤣🤣🤣

It's not a new mistake. It counts as an old one lol.

I’m comfortable with doing it. We don’t get back together or anything. It’s just him being nice.

It’s like booking an appointment now 😂

I even say “Can I get a maintenance session in”

I have no shame. Lol.

click to expand

Aren’t you worried about the Covid thing?

Profile picture of Tenpxd
@Tenpxd
7 Years500+ Posts

Posted by Jade_Alexander

I made it roughly five weeks before bedding the Aries

But when done he and I both felt neutral about sex again.

I am at the brink of embracing celibacy because Im needing more emotional intimacy. The fun of casual sex wire off fast.

My Sag was celibate for 2 year prior to me. Amd if I can’t have sex with someone who evokes the kind of emotion he did... Im not feeling interested or fulfilled

Hey 5 weeks it’s a start I’m going on 3 weeks and proud of myself

Profile picture of Piscis_Hominis
@Piscis_Hominis
10 Years1,000+ Posts

I've had a few periods where I didn't date.

Covid makes it tougher now, but I have a few FWBs. So no, I'm not celibate.

As things open up there are going to be a lot horny people out there, especially as the bars open up.

Since the border is still closed...for any ladies in Canada...

Image Not Found

Still looking for more than just a physical connection...as always. 🙂

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