Let's be honest.. (Page 2)

Posted by Distilled

Posted by CopperDove

Posted by Distilled

Posted by CopperDove
@Distilled

I had forgotten about the cutoff with word limit for posts. I should have responded w/o quoting, like I am now. 🙂

Ok... Glad I mentioned (now I know.. Thanks!).

I'm cautious too. Nothing wrong with that. Guess being cautious prevents being unaware and therefore provides more clarity and more options. So when decent people get hurt because they are unaware- if they don't wake up... They can become bitter. :/

But I'm hard on myself when I slip. I like going where no one goes but people sometimes can't handle it. That's why when I meet scorps it's like yes! But my own energy is hidden underneath my sunny exterior and that can get confusing. We both want loyalty but someone's gotta give. Mind you maturity and being honest comes into play too.

This whole Saturn return thing pretty much tried to break me, but It's only a flesh wound.

Never been screwed over by a Scorp sun. I do believe the scorp Venus sits more comfortably with the sun also.

I recall we talked about this and I did say there are some bad apples for sure. But really that goes for people. Also the men and women I find different. The women seem to handle the placements better.

🙂

My friends friend (new one in our group) is a Scorpio and she thought I was one... Lol! She's like you have that whole dark and gloomy thing going on about you. I'm like I'm a Pisces. She's like but they whine a lot. Her bf is one... Lol!

🙂

Good that Saturn return didn't break you -- it seems that as long a a person is responsible and doesn't go against the lesson of Saturn, they make it out okay.

Yes, people I've known who are jaded and bitter from their relationship experiences often blame anything but themselves for what happened to them, so that's lack of self awareness for sure.

I've usually found people with key things in the 8th, like sun and/or moon, Scorpionic, so I can understand why you might have been mistaken for a Scorpio! I've had close relationships with a few people with strong 8th houses.

lol, I hadn't noticed Pisces whining, at least not frequently enough to identify it as a Pisces trait.

Yes, it does seem like male and female Scorpios have some differences with how they express the energy. And I agree there are bad apples of every sign.

Our novella length-like chats.

So watery.

🙂

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I loved reading the convo. 🙂

Posted by FeelingGemini
I sabotaged all my relationship with my jealousy. Somehow, whenever I hear a mention of an ex (even for the most trivial reasons), I turn into a beast. I grow horns, and my face turns red, I'm like a bull in Pamplona.

I drove men crazy with it.

Which is quite surprising, because overall, I'm pretty chilled.

Is it intuition gone haywire or the madness of insecurity (ego thing)? I don't know, but it used to exhaust me.

And I didn't get better with time, which is sad.

I know solution to the problem ; concentrate more on yourself, and less on the SO.

Be less empathetic to the hurts people experienced before.

Don't engage feelings in situations where all they do is distort reality.

In theory all is clear; the practice is failing royally.

Such a wasted energy.

I can only imagine. I feel mentally exhausted when I overthink. A guy I was seeing did the jealousy thing with me on purpose and I ignored him. lol bc it was draining for me too.

Posted by FeelingGemini
I sabotaged all my relationship with my jealousy. Somehow, whenever I hear a mention of an ex (even for the most trivial reasons), I turn into a beast. I grow horns, and my face turns red, I'm like a bull in Pamplona.

I drove men crazy with it.

Which is quite surprising, because overall, I'm pretty chilled.

Is it intuition gone haywire or the madness of insecurity (ego thing)? I don't know, but it used to exhaust me.

And I didn't get better with time, which is sad.

I know solution to the problem ; concentrate more on yourself, and less on the SO.

Be less empathetic to the hurts people experienced before.

Don't engage feelings in situations where all they do is distort reality.

In theory all is clear; the practice is failing royally.

Such a wasted energy.

I've been jealous my whole life until I've met my Scorp.

I don't know what happened but I don't care anymore.

Mutual trust is 100% .

Just given by higher powers I think.

Posted by Aerazo

Posted by FeelingGemini
I sabotaged all my relationship with my jealousy. Somehow, whenever I hear a mention of an ex (even for the most trivial reasons), I turn into a beast. I grow horns, and my face turns red, I'm like a bull in Pamplona.

I drove men crazy with it.

Which is quite surprising, because overall, I'm pretty chilled.

Is it intuition gone haywire or the madness of insecurity (ego thing)? I don't know, but it used to exhaust me.

And I didn't get better with time, which is sad.

I know solution to the problem ; concentrate more on yourself, and less on the SO.

Be less empathetic to the hurts people experienced before.

Don't engage feelings in situations where all they do is distort reality.

In theory all is clear; the practice is failing royally.

Such a wasted energy.

I can only imagine. I feel mentally exhausted when I overthink. A guy I was seeing did the jealousy thing with me on purpose and I ignored him. lol bc it was draining for me too.

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It is emotionally drainimg, I agree. I was also at the receiving end, like you, and it was ugly.

I remember the feeling whenever I get in the frenzy mode, but unfortunately, my water automatically opens all its dams whenever the jealousy alarm goes off. Ugh.

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by FeelingGemini
I sabotaged all my relationship with my jealousy. Somehow, whenever I hear a mention of an ex (even for the most trivial reasons), I turn into a beast. I grow horns, and my face turns red, I'm like a bull in Pamplona.

I drove men crazy with it.

Which is quite surprising, because overall, I'm pretty chilled.

Is it intuition gone haywire or the madness of insecurity (ego thing)? I don't know, but it used to exhaust me.

And I didn't get better with time, which is sad.

I know solution to the problem ; concentrate more on yourself, and less on the SO.

Be less empathetic to the hurts people experienced before.

Don't engage feelings in situations where all they do is distort reality.

In theory all is clear; the practice is failing royally.

Such a wasted energy.

I've been jealous my whole life until I've met my Scorp.

I don't know what happened but I don't care anymore.

Mutual trust is 100% .

Just given by higher powers I think.

click to expand

Good for you.

In my case it's really just a wasted energy, cause it's completely irrational.

Being jealous at someone because at some point of their lives they had someone that wasn't me.

I guess it's a mix of egotistical need to be the only one and a need for drama.

Too much water energy, the inability to control certain emotions.

This is quite an interesting thread about how Aquas may have this tendency to sabotage their own relationships.

Although I am not an Aqua, I was dating an Aqua and she gave me the impression that we were serious and we were going to get married.

I won’t go into too much detail but we were both Indian and she was considerably younger than me. When she told her parents about me they said No and from that point onwards she completely ghosted me, without any reasonable explanation. A few months after our break up she went back to her ex boyfriend which was also a no go area because his parents refused their relationship. From what I know, things are still the same and haven’t changed.

Now being Leo (this is opinion only form experience and I am not saying that all Aquas do this) but why do you guys in a broad sense, take the cowardly way out and completely ghost someone that you were once close to.

In my eyes, my ex who is a lovely person has lost all her credibility and integrity. She just went from being the sweetest woman in the world do someone who I didn’t know at all.

It took me 8 months to get over my ex and to finally move on and we work together and I see her everyday. I am prepared to admit I didn’t help the situation, but in the grand scheme of things, she did a lot worse to me that I did to her.

It’s almost like she grew horns and became the devil, and went from being the warmest woman I know to someone completely cold.

I have learnt a lot from DXP about how Aquas may behave so it’s given me some insight to which I am grateful for.

So I decided to post here to may be offer you guys some insights as a person who has been on the receiving end of an Aqua sabotaging something that was really good.

It can be very confusing and painful and lead to resentment. Yes we all carry on with life, and wounds heal with time, but from experience, my Aqua caused me the worst amount of pain out of any of my past relationships. The passive aggressive thing that an Aqua can do is very damaging.

What is it that scares you guys into leaving something that is good?

What is it that you guys see? Why do you have such a hard time dealing with your own emotions? As an sign who tends to value friendship how can you guys be friends with an ex afterwards. Are you not aware of the emotional damage you guys can potentially cause? How do you come to a rational logical decision, because to a non Aqua it doesn’t seem rational or logical.

I just thought I’d post here, as some food for thought for you guys. Any feedback is welcome.

I just want say again that this is not an Aqua bash post, hopefully all signs can learn something from this.

Posted by Gob_Shite

Posted by FeelingGemini
I sabotaged all my relationship with my jealousy. Somehow, whenever I hear a mention of an ex (even for the most trivial reasons), I turn into a beast. I grow horns, and my face turns red, I'm like a bull in Pamplona.

I drove men crazy with it.

Which is quite surprising, because overall, I'm pretty chilled.

Is it intuition gone haywire or the madness of insecurity (ego thing)? I don't know, but it used to exhaust me.

And I didn't get better with time, which is sad.

I know solution to the problem ; concentrate more on yourself, and less on the SO.

Be less empathetic to the hurts people experienced before.

Don't engage feelings in situations where all they do is distort reality.

In theory all is clear; the practice is failing royally.

Such a wasted energy.

This issue is more common than you think, although how people deal with it wildly varies.

The key is to always ask yourself why an ex is being brought up. After all, in order to understand a SO's life history to the fullest, mentions of exes are unavoidable. And the longer a past relationship lasted, or the more intense it was, the more of an impact it's going on your SO's psyche. After all, such profound experiences are crucial to the people who we eventually become.

Also, try to remember that self-expression is a fundamental aspect to any romantic relationship. If a SO can't talk in passing about an ex, you're basically denying them an avenue in which they can be better understood, both as a lover and a human being.

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Thank you for an in depth and common sense answer. I appreciate it.

I completely agree on the importance of free expression in a relationship, in which the mention of previous romantic experiences should be included. It is, as you said, crucial in the making of the person someone is now.

Ironically, I was always attracted to the men whose main characteristics was a big, good heart, and it was inevitable that those got hurt or suffered in romantic relationship due to their good nature and vulnerability. (I'm not saying that all people with good heart get hurt and carry wounds, it just seems to me that men with those characteristics are more prone to that)

So, I get the connection, and am aware that because they are the way they are, made them vulnerable.

My problem is overthinking. The SO doesn't need to mention an ex, just something that (for me) is connected with their ex, and I immediately connect things. It can be as trivial as a country they went to a million years ago, mentioned in the completely different context, for different reasons, but my mind immediately flashes Danger.

And I do react more heavily on the exes that played an important part in the life of the SO, then those who didn't leave any influence.

How do I differ the two, is still a puzzle to me, cause they rarely first mentioned their exes, it was me who usually found out all about their history through asking them.

I just have such a strong memory for things that interest me, and I fail to let loose of them, ingraining them wherever I see even a slight possibility of connection.

Women are strange creatures. I guess men don't see 80% of what we are capable of connecting. It's just madness to them, which probably is the closest to the truth. They just want to live and enjoy the beauty of love.

Posted by Gob_Shite

Posted by FeelingGemini

My problem is overthinking. The SO doesn't need to mention an ex, just something that (for me) is connected with their ex, and I immediately connect things. It can be as trivial as a country they went to a million years ago, mentioned in the completely different context, for different reasons, but my mind immediately flashes Danger.

Now, that's very dangerous. Have you considered counselling for this?

Posted by FeelingGemini

How do I differ the two, is still a puzzle to me, cause they rarely first mentioned their exes, it was me who usually found out all about their history through asking them.

In other words, you actively seek out the information to sub-consciously use as catalysts for your self-sabotage attempts. Correct?

Posted by FeelingGemini

Women are strange creatures. I guess men don't see 80% of what we are capable of connecting. It's just madness to them, which probably is the closest to the truth. They just want to live and enjoy the beauty of love.

I certainly can't argue with that.

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Thanks for showing an interest in this, and giving me some new views on the matter.

I will answer according to the order of the quotes (a bit fiddly inserting my text between the quotes, etc). Hope you don't mind.

1.Well, I think it's not as dangerous as it may sound, that's how my mind works in other areas of life, too, giving some beneficial results. It synthesizes everything, usually automatically releasing the information of no use for particular subject. The problem is when my emotions meddle in the realms where there's no place for them. The emotions are irrational, and in this particular case, just cause an unneeded havoc. I'm quite rational and actively contribute in creating an overall feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment in a relationship, so I put this down to a woman's need to create drama somewhere. It doesn't justify me, but I'm not perfect, c'mon 🙂

I rather talk all this out with my SO or meditate (for this and other problems), then to talk to someone who will dryly tell me I'm nuts (it's their job, among other, more humane aspects of their help) or might give me tablets which will harm me in the long run. For now, I don't think they could help more than I read and tried to figure out myself. (All due respect to people who can't function properly because of some psychological ailment, I think the counselling and medicine is very helpful to them).

Also, all this have some other psychological levels of influence, such is the need for perfect and immaculate relationship between two people on one level and the innate repulsion towards injustice on the other. But going into that would mean inflating the balloon of a dxp thread to its bursting point, so I'm just mentioning it briefly as relevant to the matter.

2. Hmmm..actively seeking would mean I look for it specifically, which I don't, though I can't say that it doesn't interest me.

But I'm interested in other things, too, for which I actively seek information, so it's not only looking for something which I will (subconsciously) later use as a mean for self sabotage. I guess some information are beneficial and some detrimental to us. No need to look for the monster behind the hill. All this we talk about is a very much a grey area (black and white combined), and to extract and isolate one aspect (one colour) of our behaviour as a reason for certain results, would mean depriving it its main ingredient (the other colour) which is its integral part. It doesn't exist without it, so we can't objectively analyze it on its own. I hope you understood me.

I don't think I look purposely to self sabotage a relationship, but I do admit I should learn not to jump in the shallow water head style . I'm sometimes overconfident in what I feel to be true.

3. Glad we agree!

Thanks for your answer, and thanks for reading this. I'm just trying to make sense of it all.

@Happy_Aqua - what do you describe as an emotional confrontation from your experience?

My ex avoided it at all costs which resulted in me questioning my relationship and insanity.

We are all different, I appreciate that, but a sudden emotional withdrawal can really cause damage amongst other signs.

I appreciate from your perspective its a self protection thing. Also the slow withdrawal can also be taken as ghosting. So if you didn't have a bad relationship with someone you broke up with, at what point would consider being friends with that person or perhaps even contacting them?

I do find you aquas very interesting lol

sanity not insanity lol

@Happy_Aqua - sounds quite similar to what my ex did and it actually made matters worse than just having that conversation to begin with. Thank you for your insight its helpful.

In my case i dont think we can be friends but I do wish her the best. So much time has passed I dont think I would entertain the conversation now.

Just as advice to Aquas maybe having that conversation helps bring closure or is this something generally speaking you completely wish to avoid?

Posted by MrR78
@Happy_Aqua - sounds quite similar to what my ex did and it actually made matters worse than just having that conversation to begin with. Thank you for your insight its helpful.

In my case i dont think we can be friends but I do wish her the best. So much time has passed I dont think I would entertain the conversation now.

Just as advice to Aquas maybe having that conversation helps bring closure or is this something generally speaking you completely wish to avoid?

Well, you are assuming that because I posted this is related to Aquas sabotaging relationships but it was a simple question open to everyone and you see that many people do this. I didn't sabotage it, I felt like the other person was sabotaging it and I was wondering if someone has done this and what the reasons were.

Now when it comes to the confrontation, yes is complicated, in my case because I usually have a flat face during emotional issues, I don't cry, or worry not bc I don't care but because my feelings don't get awaken by confrontation.

I have gone thru this many times.

I would rather write if I have something to say but sometimes hold back bc time has already passed or because I believe that the other person has moved on or they just won't care.

Happy_Aqua - thanks for your insight

I am not an Aqua, but my SO is. I can tell you how he admits sabotaging our connection, as I cannot openly name it a relationship yet. He admits he acts like an idiot at times, pushing me away, because he is yet afraid to fully blow his emotions. Because if he does, he loses himself. And he cannot do it once again and fail. And I believe him. On the other hand, he said it. He said he loves me in a way he has never felt before, more profound than any of his previous relationships and forever, which made me raise my brow 🙂

Posted by Gob_Shite

Posted by FeelingGemini

Posted by Gob_Shite

Posted by FeelingGemini

My problem is overthinking. The SO doesn't need to mention an ex, just something that (for me) is connected with their ex, and I immediately connect things. It can be as trivial as a country they went to a million years ago, mentioned in the completely different context, for different reasons, but my mind immediately flashes Danger.

Now, that's very dangerous. Have you considered counselling for this?

Posted by FeelingGemini

How do I differ the two, is still a puzzle to me, cause they rarely first mentioned their exes, it was me who usually found out all about their history through asking them.

In other words, you actively seek out the information to sub-consciously use as catalysts for your self-sabotage attempts. Correct?

Posted by FeelingGemini

Women are strange creatures. I guess men don't see 80% of what we are capable of connecting. It's just madness to them, which probably is the closest to the truth. They just want to live and enjoy the beauty of love.

I certainly can't argue with that.

Thanks for showing an interest in this, and giving me some new views on the matter.

I will answer according to the order of the quotes (a bit fiddly inserting my text between the quotes, etc). Hope you don't mind.

1.Well, I think it's not as dangerous as it may sound, that's how my mind works in other areas of life, too, giving some beneficial results. It synthesizes everything, usually automatically releasing the information of no use for particular subject. The problem is when my emotions meddle in the realms where there's no place for them. The emotions are irrational, and in this particular case, just cause an unneeded havoc. I'm quite rational and actively contribute in creating an overall feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment in a relationship, so I put this down to a woman's need to create drama somewhere. It doesn't justify me, but I'm not perfect, c'mon 🙂

I rather talk all this out with my SO or meditate (for this and other problems), then to talk to someone who will dryly tell me I'm nuts (it's their job, among other, more humane aspects of their help) or might give me tablets which will harm me in the long run. For now, I don't think they could help more than I read and tried to figure out myself. (All due respect to people who can't function properly because of some psychological ailment, I think the counselling and medicine is very helpful to them).

Also, all this have some other psychological levels of influence, such is the need for perfect and immaculate relationship between two people on one level and the innate repulsion towards injustice on the other. But going into that would mean inflating the balloon of a dxp thread to its bursting point, so I'm just mentioning it briefly as relevant to the matter.

2. Hmmm..actively seeking would mean I look for it specifically, which I don't, though I can't say that it doesn't interest me.

But I'm interested in other things, too, for which I actively seek information, so it's not only looking for something which I will (subconsciously) later use as a mean for self sabotage. I guess some information are beneficial and some detrimental to us. No need to look for the monster behind the hill. All this we talk about is a very much a grey area (black and white combined), and to extract and isolate one aspect (one colour) of our behaviour as a reason for certain results, would mean depriving it its main ingredient (the other colour) which is its integral part. It doesn't exist without it, so we can't objectively analyze it on its own. I hope you understood me.

I don't think I look purposely to self sabotage a relationship, but I do admit I should learn not to jump in the shallow water head style . I'm sometimes overconfident in what I feel to be true.

3. Glad we agree!

Thanks for your answer, and thanks for reading this. I'm just trying to make sense of it all.

Okay, I'll try and keep my reply short...

1) Well, let me change 'very dangerous' to 'potentially dangerous'. Regardless, it's still concerning but hopefully workable with your partner. As for counselling, I was thinking more along the lines of an impartial third-party more than a psychiatrist. But I do agree that medication certainly wouldn't be the answer (especially if you're not in danger of harming yourself or others).

2) So, if you're constantly asking about a partner's exes, you're practically initiating such discussions out of curiosity. Surely, that's actively seeking information? Of course, what you decide to do with (or how to react to) the given information is another thing entirely. But I think I understand what you're saying - there are certain triggers that stir those feelings within you and you're still trying to figure out what those triggers are. Have I understood correctly?

Anyway, thanks for being so candid. 🙂

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Thank you.

1. Yes, I did use to discuss it with my friends, or other, less biased people. Now though, I try to solve it with my partner, explaining everything and trying to find solution. I guess men are less prone to discuss things of an emotional nature, for them it can be quite draining, or simply, useless. Useless to talk about things that don't exist. I understand that, and am trying to fix a big percentage of my frantic emotions on my own.

I guess a Scorpio influence plays a big part and doesn't help (8th house Mercury, Mars, Saturn, Sc. ascendant, etc). Wild and impossible to tame emotions, reasoning with them is such a long and windy road. Sometimes I feel that the only cure for them is that they tire themselves out with time, and subside due to losing energy for drama.

2. I wouldn't say I have a need to constantly inquire on past romantic life of my partner, it's more a subject of importance to me and I want to know everything before I invest myself in the relationship. I rarely ask after I got a certain picture of how my SO felt before.

But knowing a lot about something and not being able to put information in adequate shelves, but let them fly around, makes a mess in my head.

There are many other psychological sublevels of my need to get all the information and get into the core of my partner's previous relationships. You understood correctly that I'm always examining different triggers that make me (mis)behave the way I do.

I mentioned some, and that's why it is hard to pinpoint one in particular and work on it.

Did you have any bad experiences with female jealousy?

Thanks again, for giving some valid comments and taking time to write. Appreciated, thanks 🙂

@Aerazo - thank you for your insight. I agree that many other signs do this and it was an open question, I just wanted to see if I could get some insight and understanding for my own personal growth. A healthy discussion is always good. In my case, there was hardly a conversation that took place, and it was a very closed one at that. Then she completely vanished and hardly made any effort considering at one time she was ready to marry me. So from my perspective, its just about understanding what you Aquas think and what drives you to think in that way. Its interesting that you mention the other person may move on or not care as time has moved on. So I am understanding that it takes you guys a lot of time to understand and process what you are feeling and by then in some cases, you feel its too late. Is that correct? If that is the case, then how do you deal with that? Surely its a really long process to be taking, which in essence will only cause an Aqua more grief.

@Aquarius_beauty - Hi I hope you are well. So this power you talk about giving other people, is that in a sense you guys holding back? I thought unconditional love was to give yourself to someone completely, so what it is that's in you guys that makes you hold onto that power? Is it pride, ego, or just that your emotions are so overwhelming once that bottle is open its hard to get composure and rebuild yourself?

@Happy_Aqua - I agree with your last post. So if an Aqua refuses to talk to you or ghosts you and moves on, that's more of a reflection on that particular person rather than an Aqua trait as a whole.

Thank you all once again.

Posted by compy
I am not an Aqua, but my SO is. I can tell you how he admits sabotaging our connection, as I cannot openly name it a relationship yet. He admits he acts like an idiot at times, pushing me away, because he is yet afraid to fully blow his emotions. Because if he does, he loses himself. And he cannot do it once again and fail. And I believe him. On the other hand, he said it. He said he loves me in a way he has never felt before, more profound than any of his previous relationships and forever, which made me raise my brow 🙂

I really want to be able to experience that, I have pushed someone away. So much I even tell them to go find someone else. They always do, they find someone very soon and leave me. I bear with the pain and try as much as I can to get over the person. Their relationships don't last and I went through the break up alone, I dont find someone else, Just thinking about doing something better for myself.

That has happened 3 times already. and all 3 times was me pushing them away. ?

Posted by AquariusBeauty
@compy has touched onto something.

If we feel like we can lose total control over our emotions over someone, then we will be afraid of letting go. People have the misconception that Aquas aren't feeling or blow off the motion of us letting go of emotion. But people don't know what they're in for.

An Aqua knows never to relinquish that power over to anyone because it usually ends up with us being broken hearted. We really do pour ourselves into our partners and our relationships when we finally let go. We are the most vulnerable and emotional of all signs, but Aquas will never allow that door to open due to fear. Not fear of the emotion itself because we ourselves are pretty strong in retaining and regaining our composure, but the power that the other person has over us.

Unless you are an Aqua, you will never know what it truly feels like to be one of us. We just know and 'get each other'. The weird part? We ourselves know, but words fail us to explain this weird connection and knowledge. It's a different form of communication, a psychic one to be precise.

Girl..cmon. You aren't the most vulnerable or emotional sign at all. If you were then you would be regarded as such. Astrology didn't lie. You're co ruled by Saturn.

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by AquariusBeauty
@compy has touched onto something.

If we feel like we can lose total control over our emotions over someone, then we will be afraid of letting go. People have the misconception that Aquas aren't feeling or blow off the motion of us letting go of emotion. But people don't know what they're in for.

An Aqua knows never to relinquish that power over to anyone because it usually ends up with us being broken hearted. We really do pour ourselves into our partners and our relationships when we finally let go. We are the most vulnerable and emotional of all signs, but Aquas will never allow that door to open due to fear. Not fear of the emotion itself because we ourselves are pretty strong in retaining and regaining our composure, but the power that the other person has over us.

Unless you are an Aqua, you will never know what it truly feels like to be one of us. We just know and 'get each other'. The weird part? We ourselves know, but words fail us to explain this weird connection and knowledge. It's a different form of communication, a psychic one to be precise.

Girl..cmon. You aren't the most vulnerable or emotional sign at all. If you were then you would be regarded as such. Astrology didn't lie. You're co ruled by Saturn.

click to expand

We are probably some of the most vulnerable, emotional signs of all. But we are driven by reality and positivity, so we just try to bury the feelings in hopes to find what we really want.

No matter how hard the obstacle is, we are always positive to move forward, we don't dwell on the pain but it doesn't mean we don't feel.

We rationalize our feelings to understand what is going on in our heart and soul but our mind takes control over it to calm us down and put us back on track.

If we lose control over that, you won't like what we have inside. and is true. For people who can easily express their emotions at least they are letting it out, one way or another but for us we just bury them and move on. Thats why we have a thousand layers, that's why we are detached and cold and senseless and merciless or whatever people want to call us.

Posted by Aerazo

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by AquariusBeauty
@compy has touched onto something.

If we feel like we can lose total control over our emotions over someone, then we will be afraid of letting go. People have the misconception that Aquas aren't feeling or blow off the motion of us letting go of emotion. But people don't know what they're in for.

An Aqua knows never to relinquish that power over to anyone because it usually ends up with us being broken hearted. We really do pour ourselves into our partners and our relationships when we finally let go. We are the most vulnerable and emotional of all signs, but Aquas will never allow that door to open due to fear. Not fear of the emotion itself because we ourselves are pretty strong in retaining and regaining our composure, but the power that the other person has over us.

Unless you are an Aqua, you will never know what it truly feels like to be one of us. We just know and 'get each other'. The weird part? We ourselves know, but words fail us to explain this weird connection and knowledge. It's a different form of communication, a psychic one to be precise.

Girl..cmon. You aren't the most vulnerable or emotional sign at all. If you were then you would be regarded as such. Astrology didn't lie. You're co ruled by Saturn.

We are probably some of the most vulnerable, emotional signs of all. But we are driven by reality and positivity, so we just try to bury the feelings in hopes to find what we really want.

No matter how hard the obstacle is, we are always positive to move forward, we don't dwell on the pain but it doesn't mean we don't feel.

We rationalize our feelings to understand what is going on in our heart and soul but our mind takes control over it to calm us down and put us back on track.

If we lose control over that, you won't like what we have inside. and is true. For people who can easily express their emotions at least they are letting it out, one way or another but for us we just bury them and move on. Thats why we have a thousand layers, that's why we are detached and cold and senseless and merciless or whatever people want to call us.

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I have much experience with your sign. Some are nice people, but no you're aren't the most emotional and vulnerable. Very logical.

Posted by Aerazo
Do we sometimes sabotage our own relationships?

What are things you have done and why?



For everyone

All the time.

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by Aerazo

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by AquariusBeauty
@compy has touched onto something.

If we feel like we can lose total control over our emotions over someone, then we will be afraid of letting go. People have the misconception that Aquas aren't feeling or blow off the motion of us letting go of emotion. But people don't know what they're in for.

An Aqua knows never to relinquish that power over to anyone because it usually ends up with us being broken hearted. We really do pour ourselves into our partners and our relationships when we finally let go. We are the most vulnerable and emotional of all signs, but Aquas will never allow that door to open due to fear. Not fear of the emotion itself because we ourselves are pretty strong in retaining and regaining our composure, but the power that the other person has over us.

Unless you are an Aqua, you will never know what it truly feels like to be one of us. We just know and 'get each other'. The weird part? We ourselves know, but words fail us to explain this weird connection and knowledge. It's a different form of communication, a psychic one to be precise.

Girl..cmon. You aren't the most vulnerable or emotional sign at all. If you were then you would be regarded as such. Astrology didn't lie. You're co ruled by Saturn.

We are probably some of the most vulnerable, emotional signs of all. But we are driven by reality and positivity, so we just try to bury the feelings in hopes to find what we really want.

No matter how hard the obstacle is, we are always positive to move forward, we don't dwell on the pain but it doesn't mean we don't feel.

We rationalize our feelings to understand what is going on in our heart and soul but our mind takes control over it to calm us down and put us back on track.

If we lose control over that, you won't like what we have inside. and is true. For people who can easily express their emotions at least they are letting it out, one way or another but for us we just bury them and move on. Thats why we have a thousand layers, that's why we are detached and cold and senseless and merciless or whatever people want to call us.

I have much experience with your sign. Some are nice people, but no you're aren't the most emotional and vulnerable. Very logical.

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it just depends on how much we care about the other person. We can be nice people but have no feelings for someone and we are not moved emotionally easily. Yes very logical.

@Gob_shite

No more quoting, too many characters for a dxp post..

You are right, and I have to agree that not all men are reluctant to talk about emotional issues, you are one example of that.

It is so nice to be able to talk sensibly to a man about these matters, I really appreciate your common sense, it's a pleasure to meet someone like that, even if it's only here, on dxp. I'd love to have you as a friend lol

Thanks for the kind words, too..I try to come in the open with the dark side, and be as more objective as I can, so it's nice to see the attempts to do that being recognized.

Regarding your experience with a mutable specimen lol

I'm sorry, but I have to admit I laughed, though it wasn"t funny, more on the sad side, actually. But your ex's rage is just something I'm very well aware of, cause I'm similar. It's not justifiable, I agree 100% , but it helps to talk about it.

Though you talked the thing through, and probably resolved the matter with your then SO, I'm inclined to think that in that particular case, she wasn't necessarily jealous of the man (if it was a woman, yes) but of the attention she lacked from your side (being distracted by the man), and she saw him as a threat to you paying more attention to him than to her. Maybe from your perspective, it didn't look so, but when you get immersed into a conversation, you easily forget on people who wait for you to be with them (not literally, but in a way, yes). Women are more sensitive to men being attentive and "taking care" of them on gatherings, while men are fine just mingling, having fun, no matter who with. I might be wrong, of course, but to me it looks like that might be the case.

What do you think?

I also laughed because few years ago I had a similar experience with my Virgo on a wedding, he was happy to talk to everybody around, and he even said to me he might get carried away dancing and talking to other people, he is a joyful personality, loves to dance...of course, it didn't go well, cause at certain point of the evening I started to pout (cause I'm not a dancer really, I like to speak to people or just observe) and it ended in both of us giving each other a silent treatment.

There was a sofa part too; though it was him who slept on the sofa, I was the first one to grab the bed!

But again, even this situation has some sublevels..it really depends how many people you know in those situation (I knew few, I was new to that side of the family), he was on his terrain, they were his people, I was also having those days of the month, so it was few things that didn't contribute to the situation.

Women do react more emotionally under stress (in general), so I hope you didn't take too seriously your ex's use of vocabulary.. I must confess I myself have mentioned knives, gallows, guns so you probably got away pretty mildly with your ex. I can be very irrational, but not dangerous in my irrationality, if you get what I mean. I can also be unbelievably sensible..maybe it's a Gemini thing.

I always feel ashamed after irrational episodes,...though my Virgo says to me that my craziness adds to my charm lol

I really hope the eye opener comment didn't mean that you realized some women are just plain crazy, cause, believe me, they are not.

It's all about alchemy that happens between two people, that can turn the bad into something beautiful (and unfortunately, vice versa).

All this is just dry extracting of situations and gender differences in coping with them; but the main ingredient, the mix of two energies is omitted, which is the very thing that makes all the difference.

I do. I fight, I pick, I nag, I've cheated before, I've told them straight up I don't want a relationship, I find reasons not to want to be with them, and for them not to want to be with me.

I'm not sure why I'm like this. It bothers me but it also doesn't because I don't really prefer relationships.

Posted by Gob_Shite
@FeelingGemini

Thanks for your kind words but, if I hadn’t dated a few Geminis prior, I probably wouldn’t have some of the insights I have now.

What’s really interesting is that it was the wedding of one of her close friends, so I was the one who hardly knew anyone. As for not paying attention, we were actually on the dancefloor, when the male guest approached me out of the blue. Up until this point, my ex and I were together dancing for most of the duration. I remember spending the last few moments, at the wedding, being given the silent treatment and asking the groom what the hell happened! I was completely perplexed.

Btw, I never chose the bed – she automatically went for the sofa. I think the reason was because the sofa was too short for me to sleep comfortably on!

But I’m glad to discover that the things she said, although shocking, weren’t out of the ordinary for you. Maybe her way of dealing with her jealousy is indeed a female Gemini trait. But, yes, she got jealous over a lot of things – a woman who once gave me a harmless compliment (she assumed I was chatting the woman up in front of her!), her younger sisters who showed a harmless interest in me as a person and her thinking that my sister was actually my secret lover (no, I kid you not)…

Anyway, I’ve long become used to crazy episodes with my partners. It’s just a question of whether or not time will help temper such jealous impulses.

Good that you are sensible and trying to understand the psychology behind what seems to be a crazy behaviour.

Men who are laid back in a way and don't run after women (earth signs, especially Capricorns and Virgos), very often experience irrational behaviour from them, maybe because in their eyes they don't pay enough attention to them or not in the way they need them to, not understanding that they have respect for females, and don't want to invade their space with constant justifications of their love. Simply put, they let live, give space to the individual to breathe and think (and want and need that for themselves, too), and women often translate that into not caring enough.

I'm not surprised your ex went that far as claiming you had some unnactepted connection to her sister; when irrationality strikes, it is like being sucked into a vortex.

On one hand, its good when a person is free to be able to share even most impossible and crazy things with their SO without fear (those people are usually genuine and honest, no behind the scenes scenarios, they can't hide what they feel), while on the other hand they are hard to live with due to the constant feeling of walking on eggshells, not knowing which "wrong" move may trigger an argument. Not good and not fair.

It's still strange, though, that she went mad after you spent most of the evening together, apparently getting mad at someone (and a man, for that matter) who you just had a genuine chat with. That doesn't sound normal lol. I'm sure she'd have a justification though, Geminis can usually pull an ace out of their sleeve just to prove right. Again, not fair.

But I wonder if jealousy is a Gemini trait. Geminis are not known to be possessive and territorial. To me this looks more like watery domain; emotions gone mad; too much emotions having been unable to take control of which results in irrational behaviour. It looks more like a Cancerian on a killing spree. Does she have any Cancer placements? (my Mercury and Saturn are in Cancer in the 8th). Or is it Scorpio? Apart from other Scorpionic traits, I also have Venus Pluto parallel and Sun, Mercury, Saturn parallel, so quite a few aspects that would suggest controlling and possessive behaviour.

Or it can be the Pisces Moon.

I don't know, but to me this looks like it has to be connected to water energy.

All in all, verbally and mentally strong Gemini can cause havoc if their emotions are a mess; too many ideas and combinations struck by a lightning of emotions-they are bound to cause a flood of accusations, wrong conclusions, etc.

Some, less creative signs, don't appear that mad; it's our imagination and creativity, generally positive traits, in this case do us a lot of harm.

Now, having mentioned Scorpio before, there's one thing I'd like to know, if you're willing to answer. I see that you tried to understand what's psychology behind the irrational behaviour of Geminis (understanding, cause you were in relationships with Geminis), why is that Scorpios with the similar behaviour (maybe in other areas, but same energy really) you find harder to tolerate? Do you think they can't evolve? Did I understand correctly?

Why is it that with Geminis I feel you give a leeway when coming to certain conclusions, while with Scorpios you seem to be sure of the inflexibility of their negative side, and seem very sure they can't change, evolve, etc. Is it because they are a fixed sign? Or you think their energy is "dangerous"?

Sorry for the generalizations, I like to hear other's perspective on the main, basic energies of certain signs. What happens later, with all the planets and aspects, is another, more deep story.

Thanks 🙂

Posted by Gob_Shite
@FeelingGemini

With Gemini women, I’ll always have a fondness for them, and I’ll attribute that to my mutable moon and Aqua Venus (plus their cuteness can be irresistible). In saying that, my Cap sun requires more stability and less ‘craziness'.

But you may be onto something about the laidback nature of earth signs and its consequences on a female sexual partner.

Yeah, you’re spot on about her having Cancer placements – her Mars and Venus are both in Cancer. LOL! I’ve now come to realise that those placements ended up accentuating the 'craziness' of her Gemini sun. I dearly wish I was into astrology back then…

Why do I find Scorpios more intolerable than Geminis? Well, apart from the affinity felt towards Geminis with my mutable/air bits, I’ve come to the conclusion that I gravely dislike the manipulation and underhanded nature of Scorpios. Yes, any sign can be like that (and Geminis are no exception) but Scorpios are the masters of this. That coupled with their stubbornness, black-white ethos and general sneakiness just doesn’t sit well with me, in the long-term.

But this isn’t solely based on my experiences, within the context of romantic relationships – my stance also takes into account third-party accounts, as well as personal experiences both in the platonic and professional sense. Do I believe Scorpio suns can evolve? To be honest, I really don’t have the time and patience to find out, but one can only live in hope...

But, no, I certainly don’t give Gemini women more leeway, as I now try to stay away from both of them, especially in a romantic context. LOL! However, if nothing else, I feel that Gemini women are easier to deal with – I’m now fully aware of their brand of ‘craziness’ and possess an astrological buffer for that. With Scorpio women, you never quite know where you are with them, amidst all their stealth scheming, testing, projecting and general vindictiveness.

Anyway, I hope that answers your questions. 🙂

Thank you 🙂 I appreciate the time and effort to answer.

I knew your ex must have some Cancer somewhere.. the moodiness was too obvious!

I agree with you on the outer manifestation of basic energies of the signs, and agree in general that Geminis are more easy to deal with, while Scorpios tend to be harder to decipher and more secretive in their dealings, which is often attributed to more cunning and calculated nature.

Geminis have easier flow of energy (being children of the zodiac), they release easier, can't hold inside. It's hard to get mad at them; it equals to being angry with a naughty or demanding child.

Or think breeze, light wind..they can't do you no harm. On the negative side, they can lightly disrupt your plans if you planned to have an origami exposition, but that won't kill you. On the positive side, though, the energy is actually quite pleasing and refreshing. That's why Geminis are likeable.

Scorpios are different. They are given much more energy at the disposal. Think tornado or earthquake. Well, different to the light breeze, they actually can hurt you, and badly so. But are tornadoes and earthquakes bad or manipulative? They surely don't inform you when they are going to strike, but does that make them sneaky?

When we appoint certain qualities we find in people to nature, we find our beliefs on shaky ground.

That's what I'm trying to understand.

Natural disasters happen, but not because they are bad, but because either something has come to the point that it must change, or something has been misused or maltreated. Not because it is intrinsically bad.

On the other hand, that vast energy, when used positively, can do a world of good. I found praiseworthy people who put all that energy in the good cause, they often become heroes of their time (Evo Morales comes to mind now).

In the end, I really think fixed squares can make a person having difficult time with themselves and making other people lives hard.

But it's Sunday, and I'm sure everyone just wants to relax. Thank god on my Gemini bits.. they call for lightness lol

Thank you again, Gob_shite, and write if you have some opinion on this. You said that you are not inclined to go deep into the Scorpio energy, so maybe you are not interested in answering. I'd like you to, but I totally understand if you aren't up for it.

Posted by Gob_Shite
@FeelingGemini

Thank you for your eloquent description of Gemini women. You summed it up pretty well!

As for Scorpio women, there's an emotional darkness about them that I've been gradually growing to dislike, as the years pass. No matter how impressionable they come across, at first, they almost always cast (unnecessary) shadows over everything. IMO, that's a complete contrast to the light breeziness of Gemini women.

Like you, I do believe that there are good people from all 12 sun signs. However, based on my own natal chart and the limited time I have left to live, I've simply chosen to opt for self-preservation.

I've spent the first twenty odd years of my life being very idealistic. But, with age, experience and the mounting personal disappointments, there comes a point where you can't truly learn from past mistakes without establishing some personal boundaries and 'filters'.

Anyway, I'll stop there, as I wanted to keep this post short and sweet. 🙂

Thank you. I must admit I am envious of your capability to say everything clearly, without unnecessary need to widen the context. Especially because I saw that you are inclined to look at things that require analysis and are willing to discuss.

I agree on your take on Scorpios (generally) putting the shade on things and your explanation of the need for self preservation. I myself was "pushed" to end a 3 decades long friendship with a heavy Scorpio influenced friend, for that very reason.

I often forget that we are naturally "programmed" for self protection, and my idealistic nature tends to forget that material side of our being is as present and vulnerable as the spiritual one. But Im aware of it.

I'm just trying to understand the shade, and not dismiss it immediately, though it's uncanny how right now I'm building a friendship with a Taurus girl with Scorpio ascendant (and quite a few Scorpio bits), and I noticed she can't wait to talk about "dark" things, or anything that is considered negative (not gossip, but unlucky situations, unfortunate things in general).

I hope the past won't repeat itself, though similarities are too obvious..

I guess with time, we learn what suits us and let in people that are beneficial to us. Experience is really the greatest teacher.

Thank you for a nice and informative conversation, it was a pleasure 🙂

Posted by Gob_Shite
@FeelingGemini

I have my Cap Merc to thank for that. 😉

Relying on experiences with at least three individuals, of the same placement, is usually how I go about deciding whether my self-preservation shield needs to go up. So far, that approach has served me quite well...

Great talking with you too and good luck with the Taurus. 🙂

Thanks, I feel I will need that luck 🙂

(The rule of 3 sounds clever, I will remember that)