Cancer males...WHY? :(

Long cancer male post ahead…

I just can’t figure this out…even with all the threads on Cancer males…

I’m a Libra, with my moon in Cancer…he’s a Cancer, with his moon in Libra…we’re both in our 40’s…he approached me on facebook…normally I would just ignore…too many creepies on FB, but since we had many mutual friends in common, I messaged him back… & before I knew it, he was calling & messaging me everyday…we decided to meet in person & we hit it off instantly…NYE, 1 month later, was our first kiss & when things started getting serious…we dated exclusively for six months & during those six months, he wooed me, swept me off my feet…he was the perfect gentleman, in EVERY sense of the word…& the chemistry between us was mind blowing…he:

• Told me that he wanted me to meet his parents & come over for family lunches

• wined & dined me 3, sometimes 4 days of the week

• would pick me up from home & drop me off, for every date, always opening the car door for me & would walk me to my elevator

• would call me to make sure I got home ok if I was out with friends

• bought me a dozen roses & a really expensive haute couture bag for Valentine’s Day

• asked to meet my family & friends, which he did

• took my mother out a couple of times & bought her flowers for Mother’s Day

• went out of his way to help me finish building up my business…whether it be with electrical, plumbing, carpentry, IT needs…he was always there for me

• told me he loved me & that I was gift from God, not once, not twice, but on several occasions & not even just that…he told me he wanted to get married someday

As a typical Libra, I go in head first into any relationship, never with my heart…with this crab, I felt so secure & so stable, I gave him my heart…I did things I never felt the need to do with any of my past relationships because I never really loved any of them, & because I was sure he was the one…I baked for him & loved him with my entire being…

& then, 6 months into the relationship, I realized that I hadn’t seen him in over 1 week… I assumed it’s just the Crab retreating into his shell,& so I gave him his space…1 week became 2, then 3… & though we were still talking & texting almost everyday…I noticed it wasn’t as lovey dovey on his side… he stopped saying I miss you, I love you…

So I sent him a text message asking him if something was wrong…he told me, nothing is wrong but he will explain when we meet…

We arranged to meet for breakfast…he didn’t pick me up like he always did…I thought nothing of it…when we met, we talked….but I got nothing out of the conversation…he had to leave to a meeting…he walked me to a taxi & hugged & kissed me & as he did, I felt my heart sink…I felt something was wrong

In the taxi, I messaged him, “Thanks for meeting me…I didn’t want to make you late for your meeting…but I really need to ask you a question…was today’s meeting to state that we are just friends?”

He replied…you’re silly…of course we will always be friends…I’ll call you after my meeting

He called later that night…repeating that we’ll always be friends...so I asked him, are we just friends? He again repeated we’ll always be friends…that’s when I laid it out for him, are we exclusive to each other?...his voice started cracking as he said I don’t want to do this over the phone…I told him answer the question…he said yes, we’re just friends…a big slap in the face…I told him I have male friends & God knows I never treated them the way I treated you…he again repeated, that we shouldn’t do this over the phone, that we should meet when I get back from my trip, but I told him no, you’ve made it crystal clear, thank you, good night & with that I hung up…

The next morning I had a flight to catch…determined that I would not contact him during the entire time of the trip…he kept sending me friendly whatsapp forwards…I ignored them all…when I got back, I went out with a mutual friend & he asked me about my crab…I told him I don’t know where he is…when my friend messaged the crab saying that he saw me & asking where he was …the crab answered “oh I didn’t know she was back…hope you had fun, let’s hang out”…

Meanwhile I kept receiving friendly whatsapp forwards, which I continued to ignore for 3 weeks…but then I just couldn’t, so I messaged him telling him that what he did was unacceptable, that you can’t woo someone for 6 months, insist to meet all their family & friends, then wake up one day & selfishly decide to end it on your own without informing the other party…he replied he was busy & that such things should not be discussed over text, that he would call me…I gave him the thumbs up…I waited, no call so I went to sleep…still no call…I don’t know why, but i woke up, blocked his phone number & deleted him off FB…brash Venus…lol…& with that I left the country for a week initiating no contact

When I came back a mutual friend of ours contacted me…she asked me about him, I told her we had broken up…shocked, because they were all convinced we were made for each other…she decided to text him asking him what had happened…

He told her that we had mutually decided to be just friends…

That was when I unblocked his phone number & messaged him stating please do not tell my friend things that never occurred…we did not mutually decide to be just friends…you solely decided that…

He then said sorry…let me make it very clear…I don’t have enough money to start a life with you…that he was working on his business & that it would take 2 – 3 years

I replied we all have financial problems, & how did you know that I wouldn’t stand by you, we were put on earth to stand by each other…but to cut me off like that, as if things would dissolve on their own, that hurt…that he was more than enough for me, but doing that made me feel that I was never enough for him…

He replied, he didn’t want to burden me & that sometimes a man has to do certain things that hurt to protect those that are dear to him…

We closed off wishing well to each other…I sent him a friend request on FB, & he accepted

He now sends me forwarded messages on holidays, to which I reply with forwarded messages…I haven’t seen him for 4 months since that meeting in June…& no messages on my birthday 😢

I’m truly saddened & disappointed & can’t help but think that he was playing me the entire 6 months…but a big part of me feels he is genuine & misses him dearly…

My question is…what now? do I continue no contact, giving him his space? & for how long?...mind you I’ve been approached by others, but I can’t seem to get him out of my mind…a hopeless romantic & no thanks to Charlie Puth’s song “we don’t talk anymore”… I overdosed, & [perhaps I] should’ve known [his] love was a game, but I can’t get [him] out my brain… what truly was all of this for? ☹

just realized i left out something extremely important (sorry...got too emotionally wrapped up writing out & thinking about all the amazing times we shared)...in the beginning, when we were getting to know each other he told me that he had been engaged twice & on the verge of getting engaged 2 times :O ...though i believe a person's past is just that, their past, & honestly he could have just not told me, so more props to him for being honest...but at the same time (cuz you know, Libras can see multiple sides of almost everything & end up confusing themselves lol) it was a red flag for non-commitment...could this be it?

Posted by Black-Mamba

What kind of person is he to lie like that



He's a narc

Cancers don't let their finances dictate their hearts

He sounds LIKE a very bad idea. A liar too

This post explains the epitome of libra moon man. This is why I just don’t like this placement in a man at all. They carry their heart on their sleeve and fall in love quickly. They live for the honeymoon phase and that exciting feeling of new love. Usually 6 months to a year, the initial excitement dwindles and they are out the door and suddenly you were just a friend. The women get lead on so bad because Libra moon man’s love style is of conventional fairytale dream man (he’s a total gentleman). They cater exclusively to the desired person with grandiose romantic gestures (wining dining etc. Pillow talk, absolute charm). The women start to think they have found the one and are exclusive with him based on his over-the-top behaviour, but to him they are just a friend of the moment.

The biggest red flag that most to all women fail to observe about a man and they do so in hindsight is that when something is too good to be true, look to his past. If he comes across as perfect guy who is in his 30s or 40+, you best wonder why he’s never been married or have kids? This perfect man with his perfect charm isn’t sitting a virgin all this time. He’s exploring and have always explored. They want love without Commitment and responsibility. Let this be a lesson to you. Just think of this as a beautiful fleeting dream. Save your heart and don’t pursue him.

Posted by ACsquarepluto

I understand feeling impelled to hold onto hope just in case a miracle happens and his heart changes. It's good that there's still a line of communication open, might message him with something warmer and more personal than forwards and see if he wants to talk on his own time. I think it's respectful that when asked about the relationship by your friends he chose to tell them you mutually decided to stay friends (versus saying he dumped you). I know it sucks losing 6 months of romance but in the end maybe he'll make a loyal friend, or will trust you as a partner in time when his business is more stable. Of course, for now and until he states otherwise expect nothing but the friendship he has stated he wishes for.

Thanks for your reply ACsquarepluto…I do see your point about being friends with him…he did state that is what he wishes for…but he also stated that he wanted to have nothing but a longterm relationship, that he wanted to marry me, insisting on meeting my mother & siblings & friends…he’s even the one that said I love you first…I never initiated anything, but I always reciprocated, never rejecting him…always giving him his space which he never did ask for because it was me he would turn to when he was in a bind or feeling down, until the last 20 or so days of the relationship, when he ghosted me…& even then I gave him 20+ days of space…now he doesn’t even message me…last message was September 19th, a forward…honestly, I can’t really bring myself to message him a warmer more personal message…I don’t want to be just friends with him & God knows I would never run after a man either…I guess writing this all out here has made me realize that I should wait & see what happens next, but keep living life, heal my heart & if he should turn up, & I’m free then why not?...but if he doesn’t…though part of me can’t even bear the thought of it, the other part knows I must move on…

Posted by Black-Mamba

What kind of person is he to lie like that



He's a narc

Cancers don't let their finances dictate their hearts

He sounds LIKE a very bad idea. A liar too

Thanks Black-Mamba for your input…see I really don’t feel like he was lying…I know for a fact that he’s working on his business, I helped him do the research & things started picking up, agreements were in the process of being signed & then bam!...bureaucracy happened, preventing the agreements from going through…this happened two months into the relationship, & even then, he still went out of his way to take me out 3-4 times a week, whether it be a five-star experience, or a local hotdog stand he would always go out of his way...& whenever I offered to split any of the bills, he would say don’t be silly, I’m the man, it is my duty to provide, it is my honor…

he also has two very elderly parents he’s taking care of & paying out of pocket for all of their medications, surgeries, & their everyday life needs…which I always admired & respected him for…

sometimes I get the feeling that he may have ended it because he began feeling liking less of a man because he couldn’t keep up with what he wanted to give me …& whenever I told him I didn’t want or need anything, he’d insist…sending me flowers, taking me out, buying me gifts while away on his business trips to promote his business…even simple things like buy me bread whenever he was going to the bakery for himself…

& even when I offered to stand by him, as per the last few personal messages between us, he replied he didn’t want to burden me & that sometimes a man has to do certain things that hurt to protect those that are dear to him…this is perhaps the reason he backed off? Or maybe I’m just a silly hopeless romantic?

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by Black-Mamba

What kind of person is he to lie like that



He's a narc

Cancers don't let their finances dictate their hearts

He sounds LIKE a very bad idea. A liar too

This post explains the epitome of libra moon man. This is why I just don’t like this placement in a man at all. They carry their heart on their sleeve and fall in love quickly. They live for the honeymoon phase and that exciting feeling of new love. Usually 6 months to a year, the initial excitement dwindles and they are out the door and suddenly you were just a friend. The women get lead on so bad because Libra moon man’s love style is of conventional fairytale dream man (he’s a total gentleman). They cater exclusively to the desired person with grandiose romantic gestures (wining dining etc. Pillow talk, absolute charm). The women start to think they have found the one and are exclusive with him based on his over-the-top behaviour, but to him they are just a friend of the moment.

The biggest red flag that most to all women fail to observe about a man and they do so in hindsight is that when something is too good to be true, look to his past. If he comes across as perfect guy who is in his 30s or 40+, you best wonder why he’s never been married or have kids? This perfect man with his perfect charm isn’t sitting a virgin all this time. He’s exploring and have always explored. They want love without Commitment and responsibility. Let this be a lesson to you. Just think of this as a beautiful fleeting dream. Save your heart and don’t pursue him.

click to expand

Thanks Aquarius09 for saying what I also couldn't help but think…it may have been too good to be true a beautiful dream which funnily enough, right after our last meeting in June, in reply to his when he told me you're silly, of course we will always be friends, I sent him a message after the fated phone call stating "looking over all the messages...you are right, I am silly...I should have known better than to let my guard down & allow myself to fall...Thank you for everything you've done for me & more importantly for waking me up & allowing me to stop dreaming"… that said, I cannot let astrology write off an entire human being…it’s not fair to them, nor others that come after them…I would hate for someone to judge me solely by my astrological makeup…it should only be used as a guide to give insight on the general traits, but to write off all libra moon men, let alone all cancers…I’m not sure that’s the way to go… as for saving my heart, I’ve saved it & definitely have not pursued him & will not pursue him…

Posted by oneday

Just go on with your life, don't hold onto hope with him.

Accept it and work on your and your business.

If he one day decides to come back he will let you know. But by the who knows if that will be what you want.

Thanks oneday 😊 That’s the plan…& who knows…maybe “oneday”, maybe not 😉

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by egyptianeyes

Posted by Black-Mamba

What kind of person is he to lie like that



He's a narc

Cancers don't let their finances dictate their hearts

He sounds LIKE a very bad idea. A liar too

Thanks Black-Mamba for your input…see I really don’t feel like he was lying…I know for a fact that he’s working on his business, I helped him do the research & things started picking up, agreements were in the process of being signed & then bam!...bureaucracy happened, preventing the agreements from going through…this happened two months into the relationship, & even then, he still went out of his way to take me out 3-4 times a week, whether it be a five-star experience, or a local hotdog stand he would always go out of his way...& whenever I offered to split any of the bills, he would say don’t be silly, I’m the man, it is my duty to provide, it is my honor…

he also has two very elderly parents he’s taking care of & paying out of pocket for all of their medications, surgeries, & their everyday life needs…which I always admired & respected him for…

sometimes I get the feeling that he may have ended it because he began feeling liking less of a man because he couldn’t keep up with what he wanted to give me …& whenever I told him I didn’t want or need anything, he’d insist…sending me flowers, taking me out, buying me gifts while away on his business trips to promote his business…even simple things like buy me bread whenever he was going to the bakery for himself…

& even when I offered to stand by him, as per the last few personal messages between us, he replied he didn’t want to burden me & that sometimes a man has to do certain things that hurt to protect those that are dear to him…this is perhaps the reason he backed off? Or maybe I’m just a silly hopeless romantic?

did you ever do any of those things he did for you for him or were you just taking?

i said he lied cause he said you both wanted friendship

click to expand

I didn’t buy him flowers, nor groceries…but I did buy him little gifts whenever I’d leave the country...if that counts for anything...& of course for Valentines Day...i don't know how many gifts, a Superman mug, a message in a bottle where I told him finding love was finding him & that he was my Superman among many other things, a tiny cactus plant (we both love plants 😉) & cookies I baked & frosted spelling out I LOVE YOU & his name...akh looking back at that i feel a little silly now, but hey I live in the moment & do exactly what I feel is right in the moment...

as for him lying...yeah i called him out on that...that's when i unblocked him & told him not to say things to our friends that never occurred 😉

Posted by tiziani

The way I read your story:

Pros:

- You found a change of gear in your 40s which plenty of people don't have the courage to do. You loved with your heart and manage to have yourself a good time out of it.

- You made it clear what your boundaries were when the time called for it.

Cons:

- You felt the need to try and control what he says to other people and that's only going to give him power over you.

Ultimately more pros than cons.

Thanks tiziani for your input 😊…& yay to ultimately more pros than cons…

out of curiosity, the con…was that in reference to when I called him out on telling a mutual friend that we mutually decided to be friends? Or something else?

That was when I unblocked his phone number & messaged him stating please do not tell my friend things that never occurred…we did not mutually decide to be just friends…you solely decided that…

He then said sorry…let me make it very clear…I don’t have enough money to start a life with you…that he was working on his business & that it would take 2 – 3 years

I replied we all have financial problems, & how did you know that I wouldn’t stand by you, we were put on earth to stand by each other…but to cut me off like that, as if things would dissolve on their own, that hurt…that he was more than enough for me, but doing that made me feel that I was never enough for him…

He replied, he didn’t want to burden me & that sometimes a man has to do certain things that hurt to protect those that are dear to him…



You should've told him that the burden to you was pretending he saw a future with you and leading you on. What a bitch ass excuse. "I don't want to burden you". Bitch please.

Posted by egyptianeyes

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by Black-Mamba

What kind of person is he to lie like that



He's a narc

Cancers don't let their finances dictate their hearts

He sounds LIKE a very bad idea. A liar too

This post explains the epitome of libra moon man. This is why I just don’t like this placement in a man at all. They carry their heart on their sleeve and fall in love quickly. They live for the honeymoon phase and that exciting feeling of new love. Usually 6 months to a year, the initial excitement dwindles and they are out the door and suddenly you were just a friend. The women get lead on so bad because Libra moon man’s love style is of conventional fairytale dream man (he’s a total gentleman). They cater exclusively to the desired person with grandiose romantic gestures (wining dining etc. Pillow talk, absolute charm). The women start to think they have found the one and are exclusive with him based on his over-the-top behaviour, but to him they are just a friend of the moment.

The biggest red flag that most to all women fail to observe about a man and they do so in hindsight is that when something is too good to be true, look to his past. If he comes across as perfect guy who is in his 30s or 40+, you best wonder why he’s never been married or have kids? This perfect man with his perfect charm isn’t sitting a virgin all this time. He’s exploring and have always explored. They want love without Commitment and responsibility. Let this be a lesson to you. Just think of this as a beautiful fleeting dream. Save your heart and don’t pursue him.

Thanks Aquarius09 for saying what I also couldn't help but think…it may have been too good to be true a beautiful dream which funnily enough, right after our last meeting in June, in reply to his when he told me you're silly, of course we will always be friends, I sent him a message after the fated phone call stating "looking over all the messages...you are right, I am silly...I should have known better than to let my guard down & allow myself to fall...Thank you for everything you've done for me & more importantly for waking me up & allowing me to stop dreaming"… that said, I cannot let astrology write off an entire human being…it’s not fair to them, nor others that come after them…I would hate for someone to judge me solely by my astrological makeup…it should only be used as a guide to give insight on the general traits, but to write off all libra moon men, let alone all cancers…I’m not sure that’s the way to go… as for saving my heart, I’ve saved it & definitely have not pursued him & will not pursue him…

click to expand

You’re welcome. I’m not asking you to base your love life on astrology but be wary of certain placements. Tread carefully when dealing with them.

Posted by LadyNeptune

That was when I unblocked his phone number & messaged him stating please do not tell my friend things that never occurred…we did not mutually decide to be just friends…you solely decided that…

He then said sorry…let me make it very clear…I don’t have enough money to start a life with you…that he was working on his business & that it would take 2 – 3 years

I replied we all have financial problems, & how did you know that I wouldn’t stand by you, we were put on earth to stand by each other…but to cut me off like that, as if things would dissolve on their own, that hurt…that he was more than enough for me, but doing that made me feel that I was never enough for him…

He replied, he didn’t want to burden me & that sometimes a man has to do certain things that hurt to protect those that are dear to him…



You should've told him that the burden to you was pretending he saw a future with you and leading you on. What a bitch ass excuse. "I don't want to burden you". Bitch please.

LOL...part of me kind of wishes I would have thought of that at the time!

Posted by oneday

Posted by egyptianeyes

Posted by oneday

Just go on with your life, don't hold onto hope with him.

Accept it and work on your and your business.

If he one day decides to come back he will let you know. But by the who knows if that will be what you want.

Thanks oneday 😊 That’s the plan…& who knows…maybe “oneday”, maybe not 😉

Just keep your head up and try not to let him discourage you from living your life 🙂

click to expand

Definitely 🙂

Posted by tiziani

Posted by egyptianeyes

Posted by tiziani

The way I read your story:

Pros:

- You found a change of gear in your 40s which plenty of people don't have the courage to do. You loved with your heart and manage to have yourself a good time out of it.

- You made it clear what your boundaries were when the time called for it.

Cons:

- You felt the need to try and control what he says to other people and that's only going to give him power over you.

Ultimately more pros than cons.

Thanks tiziani for your input 😊…& yay to ultimately more pros than cons…

out of curiosity, the con…was that in reference to when I called him out on telling a mutual friend that we mutually decided to be friends? Or something else?

Yes that part, it just isn't a battle worth fighting.

click to expand

Perhaps...but then I couldn't live with myself knowing that he got away without some kind of confrontation...but i do see your point

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by egyptianeyes

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by Black-Mamba

What kind of person is he to lie like that



He's a narc

Cancers don't let their finances dictate their hearts

He sounds LIKE a very bad idea. A liar too

This post explains the epitome of libra moon man. This is why I just don’t like this placement in a man at all. They carry their heart on their sleeve and fall in love quickly. They live for the honeymoon phase and that exciting feeling of new love. Usually 6 months to a year, the initial excitement dwindles and they are out the door and suddenly you were just a friend. The women get lead on so bad because Libra moon man’s love style is of conventional fairytale dream man (he’s a total gentleman). They cater exclusively to the desired person with grandiose romantic gestures (wining dining etc. Pillow talk, absolute charm). The women start to think they have found the one and are exclusive with him based on his over-the-top behaviour, but to him they are just a friend of the moment.

The biggest red flag that most to all women fail to observe about a man and they do so in hindsight is that when something is too good to be true, look to his past. If he comes across as perfect guy who is in his 30s or 40+, you best wonder why he’s never been married or have kids? This perfect man with his perfect charm isn’t sitting a virgin all this time. He’s exploring and have always explored. They want love without Commitment and responsibility. Let this be a lesson to you. Just think of this as a beautiful fleeting dream. Save your heart and don’t pursue him.

Thanks Aquarius09 for saying what I also couldn't help but think…it may have been too good to be true a beautiful dream which funnily enough, right after our last meeting in June, in reply to his when he told me you're silly, of course we will always be friends, I sent him a message after the fated phone call stating "looking over all the messages...you are right, I am silly...I should have known better than to let my guard down & allow myself to fall...Thank you for everything you've done for me & more importantly for waking me up & allowing me to stop dreaming"… that said, I cannot let astrology write off an entire human being…it’s not fair to them, nor others that come after them…I would hate for someone to judge me solely by my astrological makeup…it should only be used as a guide to give insight on the general traits, but to write off all libra moon men, let alone all cancers…I’m not sure that’s the way to go… as for saving my heart, I’ve saved it & definitely have not pursued him & will not pursue him…

You’re welcome. I’m not asking you to base your love life on astrology but be wary of certain placements. Tread carefully when dealing with them.

click to expand

Noted 😊

Men like this always pray on a certain type of woman.

I'm sorry you went through this. Be careful.

People that make good partners won't abandon you like that, no matter what's going on.

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by Black-Mamba

What kind of person is he to lie like that



He's a narc

Cancers don't let their finances dictate their hearts

He sounds LIKE a very bad idea. A liar too

This post explains the epitome of libra moon man. This is why I just don’t like this placement in a man at all. They carry their heart on their sleeve and fall in love quickly. They live for the honeymoon phase and that exciting feeling of new love. Usually 6 months to a year, the initial excitement dwindles and they are out the door and suddenly you were just a friend. The women get lead on so bad because Libra moon man’s love style is of conventional fairytale dream man (he’s a total gentleman). They cater exclusively to the desired person with grandiose romantic gestures (wining dining etc. Pillow talk, absolute charm). The women start to think they have found the one and are exclusive with him based on his over-the-top behaviour, but to him they are just a friend of the moment.

The biggest red flag that most to all women fail to observe about a man and they do so in hindsight is that when something is too good to be true, look to his past. If he comes across as perfect guy who is in his 30s or 40+, you best wonder why he’s never been married or have kids? This perfect man with his perfect charm isn’t sitting a virgin all this time. He’s exploring and have always explored. They want love without Commitment and responsibility. Let this be a lesson to you. Just think of this as a beautiful fleeting dream. Save your heart and don’t pursue him.

click to expand

Goddamit, I love Aqua's! You guys keep it so real lol

Posted by Sag898

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by Black-Mamba

What kind of person is he to lie like that



He's a narc

Cancers don't let their finances dictate their hearts

He sounds LIKE a very bad idea. A liar too

This post explains the epitome of libra moon man. This is why I just don’t like this placement in a man at all. They carry their heart on their sleeve and fall in love quickly. They live for the honeymoon phase and that exciting feeling of new love. Usually 6 months to a year, the initial excitement dwindles and they are out the door and suddenly you were just a friend. The women get lead on so bad because Libra moon man’s love style is of conventional fairytale dream man (he’s a total gentleman). They cater exclusively to the desired person with grandiose romantic gestures (wining dining etc. Pillow talk, absolute charm). The women start to think they have found the one and are exclusive with him based on his over-the-top behaviour, but to him they are just a friend of the moment.

The biggest red flag that most to all women fail to observe about a man and they do so in hindsight is that when something is too good to be true, look to his past. If he comes across as perfect guy who is in his 30s or 40+, you best wonder why he’s never been married or have kids? This perfect man with his perfect charm isn’t sitting a virgin all this time. He’s exploring and have always explored. They want love without Commitment and responsibility. Let this be a lesson to you. Just think of this as a beautiful fleeting dream. Save your heart and don’t pursue him.

Goddamit, I love Aqua's! You guys keep it so real lol

click to expand

Thanks!😘 This is precisely why we end up with fire signs/dominant because they can handle real talk.

Posted by Sag898

Men like this always pray on a certain type of woman.

💯%

Posted by Sag898

Men like this always pray on a certain type of woman.

I'm sorry you went through this. Be careful.

People that make good partners won't abandon you like that, no matter what's going on.

Thanks Sag898 for your reply 😊

“Men like this always pray on a certain type of woman.”

… what a waste of time…what a waste of a life in general…I mean why put so much time & effort & even money into something & to get what back in return? Breaking someone else’s heart gives them the giggles? …& even then, one day, one week, maybe is enough…but SIX MONTHS?...& insist on meeting your family & friends…if someone is sick enough to do this for that long, why involve third parties to the show? So instead of looking like an ass in front of one person…he looks like that to so many others?...not sure how anyone derives any kind of benefit from this…

“I'm sorry you went through this. Be careful.” Thanks sag898 😊

“People that make good partners won't abandon you like that, no matter what's going on. “

That’s what I wholeheartedly believe, but may have lost sight of in this whirlwind…You would think that at 46, which he just turned, that he would have the wisdom to know better

Posted by egyptianeyes

Posted by Sag898

Men like this always pray on a certain type of woman.

I'm sorry you went through this. Be careful.

People that make good partners won't abandon you like that, no matter what's going on.

Thanks Sag898 for your reply 😊

“Men like this always pray on a certain type of woman.”

… what a waste of time…what a waste of a life in general…I mean why put so much time & effort & even money into something & to get what back in return? Breaking someone else’s heart gives them the giggles? …& even then, one day, one week, maybe is enough…but SIX MONTHS?...& insist on meeting your family & friends…if someone is sick enough to do this for that long, why involve third parties to the show? So instead of looking like an ass in front of one person…he looks like that to so many others?...not sure how anyone derives any kind of benefit from this…

“I'm sorry you went through this. Be careful.” Thanks sag898 😊

“People that make good partners won't abandon you like that, no matter what's going on. “

That’s what I wholeheartedly believe, but may have lost sight of in this whirlwind…You would think that at 46, which he just turned, that he would have the wisdom to know better

click to expand

I've always wondered about people like that. All I've ever been able to come up with is they have zero self reflection. Or they do and don't care.

In a way as awful as it is, your spared in the sense that you got away. Now someone else will suffer under this thumb.

I hope you find a less predatory person in the future.

Posted by Sag898

Posted by egyptianeyes

Posted by Sag898

Men like this always pray on a certain type of woman.

I'm sorry you went through this. Be careful.

People that make good partners won't abandon you like that, no matter what's going on.

Thanks Sag898 for your reply 😊

“Men like this always pray on a certain type of woman.”

… what a waste of time…what a waste of a life in general…I mean why put so much time & effort & even money into something & to get what back in return? Breaking someone else’s heart gives them the giggles? …& even then, one day, one week, maybe is enough…but SIX MONTHS?...& insist on meeting your family & friends…if someone is sick enough to do this for that long, why involve third parties to the show? So instead of looking like an ass in front of one person…he looks like that to so many others?...not sure how anyone derives any kind of benefit from this…

“I'm sorry you went through this. Be careful.” Thanks sag898 😊

“People that make good partners won't abandon you like that, no matter what's going on. “

That’s what I wholeheartedly believe, but may have lost sight of in this whirlwind…You would think that at 46, which he just turned, that he would have the wisdom to know better

I've always wondered about people like that. All I've ever been able to come up with is they have zero self reflection. Or they do and don't care.

In a way as awful as it is, your spared in the sense that you got away. Now someone else will suffer under this thumb.

I hope you find a less predatory person in the future.

click to expand

Yeah…they probably don’t care & are quite mentally ill, sad creatures…& Oh yes! Thank God I was spared & got away…to quote the great Queen Bee’s “Best Thing I Never Had”:



“Thank God you blew it,

thank God I dodged a bullet,

I’m so over you so baby good looking out”

“Thank God I saw the good in goodbye,

I wanted you bad,

I’m so through with that,

cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had,

& I will always be the best thing you never had” 😉

& of course…”What goes around comes back around” 😉

That whole song is genius 😊

Posted by egyptianeyes

Posted by Sag898

Posted by egyptianeyes

Posted by Sag898

Men like this always pray on a certain type of woman.

I'm sorry you went through this. Be careful.

People that make good partners won't abandon you like that, no matter what's going on.

Thanks Sag898 for your reply 😊

“Men like this always pray on a certain type of woman.”

… what a waste of time…what a waste of a life in general…I mean why put so much time & effort & even money into something & to get what back in return? Breaking someone else’s heart gives them the giggles? …& even then, one day, one week, maybe is enough…but SIX MONTHS?...& insist on meeting your family & friends…if someone is sick enough to do this for that long, why involve third parties to the show? So instead of looking like an ass in front of one person…he looks like that to so many others?...not sure how anyone derives any kind of benefit from this…

“I'm sorry you went through this. Be careful.” Thanks sag898 😊

“People that make good partners won't abandon you like that, no matter what's going on. “

That’s what I wholeheartedly believe, but may have lost sight of in this whirlwind…You would think that at 46, which he just turned, that he would have the wisdom to know better

I've always wondered about people like that. All I've ever been able to come up with is they have zero self reflection. Or they do and don't care.

In a way as awful as it is, your spared in the sense that you got away. Now someone else will suffer under this thumb.

I hope you find a less predatory person in the future.

Yeah…they probably don’t care & are quite mentally ill, sad creatures…& Oh yes! Thank God I was spared & got away…to quote the great Queen Bee’s “Best Thing I Never Had”:



“Thank God you blew it,

thank God I dodged a bullet,

I’m so over you so baby good looking out”

“Thank God I saw the good in goodbye,

I wanted you bad,

I’m so through with that,

cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had,

& I will always be the best thing you never had” 😉

& of course…”What goes around comes back around” 😉

That whole song is genius 😊

click to expand

I remember that music video! It’s cute

At first I was a bit hesitant to write my post, but by just writing it, it allowed me to “think out loud”…& then the replies came in…

thank you all for your thoughts…you truly helped clear up my muddled, post-“psycho-slow-whirlwind-romance”-breakup mind 😊…

a total breath of much needed fresh air 😊 thank you 😊

I don't get it. How was everything all perfect and then all of a sudden he does the slow fade? Was your relationship riddled with arguments or disagreements? Would he withdraw and ignore you after a fight? Maybe met someone else?

Something has to be missing here. This makes no sense.

Posted by topes

Posted by Elissar18

I don't get it. How was everything all perfect and then all of a sudden he does the slow fade? Was your relationship riddled with arguments or disagreements? Would he withdraw and ignore you after a fight? Maybe met someone else?

Something has to be missing here. This makes no sense.

You can't have a drama with all the details disclosed.

click to expand

True. Can't really figure out what went wrong either.

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by Elissar18

I don't get it. How was everything all perfect and then all of a sudden he does the slow fade? Was your relationship riddled with arguments or disagreements? Would he withdraw and ignore you after a fight? Maybe met someone else?

Something has to be missing here. This makes no sense.

lol actually makes perfect sense

click to expand

Not really. He met her family and stuff and he's been engaged before so I don't think it's commitment issues. Maybe she gave too much space or something happened... I don't know. But it seems odd

Posted by Elissar18

I don't get it. How was everything all perfect and then all of a sudden he does the slow fade? Was your relationship riddled with arguments or disagreements? Would he withdraw and ignore you after a fight? Maybe met someone else?

Something has to be missing here. This makes no sense.

I don’t get it either & that’s exactly why I posted in the first place 😉 …it left me completely dumbfounded seeing that our relationship wasn’t riddled with arguments, or disagreements, nor fights for that matter…

as for meeting someone else, I honestly would not know that…he doesn’t post pics of others save for his family, other than that social media stalking (sorry, guilty) has given me no leads & my friends who also became his friends on FB & share mutual friends with him, which I do not, haven’t said anything about that…

as to something being missing, definitely agree with you, but just on his part, no omissions on mine & hence the long post

& yes…it doesn’t make sense, but it could just be like others have been saying, that I basically fell prey to a predator...you live, you learn

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by Elissar18

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by Elissar18

I don't get it. How was everything all perfect and then all of a sudden he does the slow fade? Was your relationship riddled with arguments or disagreements? Would he withdraw and ignore you after a fight? Maybe met someone else?

Something has to be missing here. This makes no sense.

lol actually makes perfect sense

Not really. He met her family and stuff and he's been engaged before so I don't think it's commitment issues. Maybe she gave too much space or something happened... I don't know. But it seems odd

you're going about this the wrong way and thinking how a normal person would behave/think

click to expand

Lol. Must be my virgo venus. I'm too logical

Posted by egyptianeyes

Posted by Elissar18

I don't get it. How was everything all perfect and then all of a sudden he does the slow fade? Was your relationship riddled with arguments or disagreements? Would he withdraw and ignore you after a fight? Maybe met someone else?

Something has to be missing here. This makes no sense.

I don’t get it either & that’s exactly why I posted in the first place 😉 …it left me completely dumbfounded seeing that our relationship wasn’t riddled with arguments, or disagreements, nor fights for that matter…

as for meeting someone else, I honestly would not know that…he doesn’t post pics of others save for his family, other than that social media stalking (sorry, guilty) has given me no leads & my friends who also became his friends on FB & share mutual friends with him, which I do not, haven’t said anything about that…

as to something being missing, definitely agree with you, but just on his part, no omissions on mine & hence the long post

& yes…it doesn’t make sense, but it could just be like others have been saying, that I basically fell prey to a predator...you live, you learn

click to expand

A jerk will leave you hanging around for sex or to fall back on when the next one doesn't work out or for some alteria motive. This guy obviously doesn't want to waste your time so he's been kind of honest by not stinging you along any further I guess. It's a hard blow though. I'll be shattered if that happens to me.

Posted by greylatern

"He then said sorry…let me make it very clear…I don’t have enough money to start a life with you…that he was working on his business & that it would take 2 – 3 years

I replied we all have financial problems, & how did you know that I wouldn’t stand by you, we were put on earth to stand by each other"

If that wasn't a bullshit line, this is the problem.

Seriously what is with water man love bombing?

Anyway at his age he should have learned that perfect doesn't exist and is subjective on top of that. What is version of a s/o? A trinket or trophy not a partner?

He has some kind of trama keeping him from fully committing ( insecurity) or he is full of shit ( cloud9 chaser or lost interest)

On the bright side he did quite a bit for you and gave you a gift of a beautiful experience if only for a short time.

Actually I'm kind of wondering if he thought you where high maintance and he didn't think he had the time because of business so he let you go. You identity with you cancer moon yes? Meaning emotional and clingy? If he couldn't handle that he did you a favor.

Taking the decision and weight all on to himself without talking to you about it. The whole the male's priority is to be a provider crap. That mentality is strong in your generation. Dick move not being honest with you and talking to you about it if that is the case. You know him better. Does that all sound right?

Either way the fact he is no longer investing even as friends is telling. Let him go and you go do you. 2-3 years is unrealistic without solid commitment in some form. Appreciate and focus on the joy and love of the experience and move forward.

Edit: something is bothering me. You talk about what he has done for you and treated up but nothing about how you feel about him and what you like about him. Not implying anything but that does bother me about female posters. Though the mask usually doesn't drop until after cloud9 anyway.

Edit again: all those missed calls and excuses to your friends and the time away and talking being weeks? He stopped investing a long while ago.

"He has some kind of trama keeping him from fully committing ( insecurity) or he is full of shit ( cloud9 chaser or lost interest)"

Probably, seeing that he’s been engaged twice & almost engaged another 2 times…or maybe he is full of shit

"On the bright side he did quite a bit for you and gave you a gift of a beautiful experience if only for a short time."

Yes he did…it was surreal…the perfect gentleman in every way…so much that I fear the good that was done in this relationship, will become the standard I will hold for relationships to come…but the reality as we all know is that you can’t have everything, & no one is perfect so hopefully this will keep me grounded

"Actually I'm kind of wondering if he thought you where high maintance and he didn't think he had the time because of business so he let you go. You identity with you cancer moon yes? Meaning emotional and clingy? If he couldn't handle that he did you a favor."

Yes Moon in Cancer...Not overly emotional, not high maintenance, nor clingly at all…far from it…Funny enough he actually was the one who was clingy, in the sense that he would constantly message me & call & ask me out, but it didn’t bother me at all…maybe I made myself too available by responding?

"Taking the decision and weight all on to himself without talking to you about it. The whole the male's priority is to be a provider crap. That mentality is strong in your generation. Dick move not being honest with you and talking to you about it if that is the case. You know him better. Does that all sound right?"

Exactly…he decided to do this all on his own…I never once made him feel that he was less of a man, nor that he wasn’t enough for me, because he was & I made it clear I would stand by him…but he pushed it away…in fact, there was one conversation where he had told me he wanted a long term relationship with me & wanted to get married, back in February, but that he wanted to secure his business first to make sure he could provide for us both…as for my generation, perhaps …but I believe it’s more a societal thing…in Egypt, where I live, if you go out with a guy, even if just friends, & you offer to pay they look at you with disdain & state something along the lines of, “What? Can you not see I’m a man?”…it’s somewhat endearing & sometimes annoying at the same time to tell you the truth

"Either way the fact he is no longer investing even as friends is telling. Let him go and you go do you. 2-3 years is unrealistic without solid commitment in some form."

Exactly

"Edit: something is bothering me. You talk about what he has done for you and treated up but nothing about how you feel about him and what you like about him. Not implying anything but that does bother me about female posters. Though the mask usually doesn't drop until after cloud9 anyway."

I actually did say “with this crab, I felt so secure & so stable, I gave him my heart”, but to elaborate, I wholeheartedly felt like he was the one…that God, after all this time, finally sent me exactly what I was looking for… I loved that he cared for his elderly parents & would take them out every Friday & would always ask about my family & come by & see them…I loved how he was so kind, thoughtful, funny, giving, knew what I was about to say before I said it… how he made me feel when we kissed, or even when he just touched my hand…it was all electrifying…he made me happy & feel rested…that I could just exhale…& God knows how long I was waiting to exhale…he was nothing like what I had ever experienced before…out of this world…akhhh! writing this as cheesy as it may sound, made me tear up

"Edit again: all those missed calls and excuses to your friends and the time away and talking being weeks? He stopped investing a long while ago."

yeah...20+ days...a complete ghost, save for the forwards...possibly…it what it is, whatever it was or is

Posted by Black-Mamba

Crabs come in all colors, shapes, etc.

mature ones

immature

bad

good

great

ugly

really bad

evil

please stop trying to box us into your little safe boxes

1 trillion percent agree 🙂

Posted by Elissar18

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by Elissar18

I don't get it. How was everything all perfect and then all of a sudden he does the slow fade? Was your relationship riddled with arguments or disagreements? Would he withdraw and ignore you after a fight? Maybe met someone else?

Something has to be missing here. This makes no sense.

lol actually makes perfect sense

Not really. He met her family and stuff and he's been engaged before so I don't think it's commitment issues. Maybe she gave too much space or something happened... I don't know. But it seems odd

click to expand

I know men like this and not only do they introduce all their annual infatuations to their family but they also go along with meeting the woman’s. They are genuine for the time being. It’s not a facade but they just outgrow people once the initial excitement dies down. They are not looking to settle down or commit to a single woman.

Posted by topes

Posted by Elissar18

Posted by topes

Posted by Elissar18

I don't get it. How was everything all perfect and then all of a sudden he does the slow fade? Was your relationship riddled with arguments or disagreements? Would he withdraw and ignore you after a fight? Maybe met someone else?

Something has to be missing here. This makes no sense.

You can't have a drama with all the details disclosed.

True. Can't really figure out what went wrong either.

It's how dreamland works. Fuck responsibility and reality. Let's use astrology to justify ourselves. It's what good people do.

click to expand

Thanks topes...but no...totally off base...if you have a question, ask...I'll answer...simple as that...just as I answered Elissar18's post to which your comment was directed 😉

as for the astrology quip, like i said to aquarius09 back on page 1 "I cannot let astrology write off an entire human being…it’s not fair to them, nor others that come after them…I would hate for someone to judge me solely by my astrological makeup…it should only be used as a guide to give insight on the general traits, but to write off all libra moon men, let alone all cancers…I’m not sure that’s the way to go…"

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by Elissar18

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by Elissar18

I don't get it. How was everything all perfect and then all of a sudden he does the slow fade? Was your relationship riddled with arguments or disagreements? Would he withdraw and ignore you after a fight? Maybe met someone else?

Something has to be missing here. This makes no sense.

lol actually makes perfect sense

Not really. He met her family and stuff and he's been engaged before so I don't think it's commitment issues. Maybe she gave too much space or something happened... I don't know. But it seems odd

I know men like this and not only do they introduce all their annual infatuations to their family but they also go along with meeting the woman’s. They are genuine for the time being. It’s not a facade but they just outgrow people once the initial excitement dies down. They are not looking to settle down or commit to a single woman.

click to expand

I can understand the eternal bachelor that won't even commit to a relationship. But someone who proposes and considers marrying someone doesn't seem very commitment phobic

Posted by Elissar18

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by Elissar18

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by Elissar18

I don't get it. How was everything all perfect and then all of a sudden he does the slow fade? Was your relationship riddled with arguments or disagreements? Would he withdraw and ignore you after a fight? Maybe met someone else?

Something has to be missing here. This makes no sense.

lol actually makes perfect sense

Not really. He met her family and stuff and he's been engaged before so I don't think it's commitment issues. Maybe she gave too much space or something happened... I don't know. But it seems odd

I know men like this and not only do they introduce all their annual infatuations to their family but they also go along with meeting the woman’s. They are genuine for the time being. It’s not a facade but they just outgrow people once the initial excitement dies down. They are not looking to settle down or commit to a single woman.

I can understand the eternal bachelor that won't even commit to a relationship. But someone who proposes and considers marrying someone doesn't seem very commitment phobic

click to expand

You’re assuming that he proposed. Maybe he was pressured to propose, and even then engagement means absolutely nothing in th grand scheme of things. It’s the effort and money that goes into planning and actualizing a wedding that should be taken seriously.

Posted by Raakac

You sound a little passive agressive, especially on this part:Meanwhile I kept receiving friendly whatsapp forwards, which I continued to ignore for 3 weeks…but then I just couldn’t, so I messaged him telling him that what he did was unacceptable. You only told him this after 3weeks of silence, you didn't clear the air in the 1st place, you both 40s but you both sound kinda immature , ignoring, hiding things and unable to talk, clear and honest communication is one of the most important things in relationship, if you can't do that and do passive agressive things like ignoring person for 3weeks, and he tells you you're only friends after all that time, sounds like a childish games 2 me... Learn to express yourself fully without that passive agressive silence in future relationships, because that silence might ruin it 😉 Best of luck in the future relationships and stay positive ! 🙂

“You sound a little passive agressive, especially on this part:Meanwhile I kept receiving friendly whatsapp forwards, which I continued to ignore for 3 weeks…but then I just couldn’t, so I messaged him telling him that what he did was unacceptable. You only told him this after 3weeks of silence, you didn't clear the air in the 1st place”

With it being a post about 6 months & trying to keep it as short as possible, & not wanting to make it longer than necessary, I can see how this makes me sound passive aggressive 😉… I did make it clear on the fated phone call, after our last meeting, that I did not like what he did by ghosting me, then labeling us just friends without giving me a headsup that something was wrong, especially when I had texted him, prior to our last meeting asking if there was something wrong & if there wasn’t anything wrong to let me know what’s up, since I hadn’t seen him 20+ days, just messages & phone calls, that’s what caused him to say I’ll explain when we meet…the meeting I got nothing from & he was rushed to get to meeting…so I threw it out there telling him “just to make it clear, today’s meeting was to state that we’re just friends?” to which he told me he’d call me

& then after that last phone call, I asked for clarification of our relationship & when he said just friends, I made my opinion crystal clear, & then followed it up with a message “Thank you for everything you've done for me & more importantly for waking me up & allowing me to stop dreaming”, trying to keep it short & courteous in the hope that he may have a change of heart & not try to sever any hope by butchering any little hope left to death…

It was around this time I did some ex-boyfriend research on the internet & came upon the “No Contact Rule”, so I thought why not try this since talking with him didn't bring about much… to which he kept sending me forwards over the course of 3 weeks like we were just acquaintances (no personal messages like even a hey, how are you? How’s your family? Like the friends he said we were)… he just continued with the forwards, that’s when I had to break the no contact rule & tell him that this was not ok, that I basically can’t just brush everything under the carpet as if nothing ever happened & that I needed answers…& that is when he finally told me why he did what he did, that he doesn’t have any income to move forward in life…& the rest is history 😉

“Best of luck in the future relationships and stay positive !”

Thanks 😊