Is this Cancer man just being friendly or could there be more to it?

I [48F] met the Cancer man in question [47M] about seven years ago, and I was romantically interested in him at the time. We hung out one-on-one as friends a few times and it was awesome, but he very clearly friend-zoned me by not really responding when I flirted with him. Over the past several years, we’ve run into each other several times, and he’s always been super friendly. He had a long-term relationship in there, but they broke up about two years ago. He hasn’t dated anybody ever since and he says that he’s happy with where he’s at in life and with being single.

A few weeks ago we ran into each other again and talked for several hours, but again, it was just friendly. Then last week we realized we were going to be working in the same city this past week on the same days, staying in hotels three blocks apart, on the same flights to and from. Totally crazy. I invited him to a baseball game and he accepted enthusiastically, but I thought that was the only time we would get together during the trip. We ended up hanging out for several hours all four nights that we were there, through his initiative (dinner and drinks, walking half an hour to and from my hotel, the game, etc.). It was amazing! We just talked and talked, laughed, really bonded, got along so incredibly well, discovered we had so many things in common, similar values. We basically spent all our free time together. He always insisted on walking me to my hotel entrance, or making sure we got dropped off at my hotel first. Always a gentleman, being protective when crossing the street, stuff like that. He always asked me a lot of questions, wanted to know everything about me. He always gave me a great hug at the end of the night, but no real flirting or anything romantic.

After we got home, I wondered (sadly) if it would just go back to not really communicating much and just running into each other whenever. Plus, I thought he would be sick of me that point since we had hung out together for five days in a row (again, all his initiative, and he even wanted to try to sit next to me on the plane). He asked me at our home airport while waiting for my suitcase (he stayed with me until I got into my taxi) what I was doing over the weekend, I told him what I was doing that night – going to see a band we both like – and he said he would swing by to check it out. To be clear, I didn’t invite him, he just volunteered this. And just like he said he would, he showed up last night despite being exhausted and we hung out for another few hours. Again, he walked me to my car and just a really nice hug goodbye.

I am thoroughly enjoying this deepening of our friendship, and I have so much fun spending time with him. I have no interest in pushing his boundaries, and if he wants to stay in the friend zone with me, I still consider that a great thing (he’s gotten to know me better in the last five days than the last guy I dated over a year and a half). But I still have a crush on him and I would love for this to turn into something romantic at some point. Does this sound like he’s just being a gentleman and being friendly? Or maybe that he likes me and could possibly be romantically interested? I’m happy to let this play out and just really enjoy the friendship, but I’m trying to figure out my approach.

Are you happy to be just his friend? Otherwise try to flirt a bit and see how he reacts.

Posted by Timone
Are you happy to be just his friend? Otherwise try to flirt a bit and see how he reacts.

I love being his friend, but I think I might eventually want more. I’m too scared to flirt with him. The last time I did this seven years ago, he paid no attention to it, and I just don’t want to get rejected and make things weird.

How far away do you normally live?

Btw, A peck kiss on the last night would have made him revaluate his feelings without having to say anything. Most cancers I know have a weakness for subtle actions🙂

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by Timone
Are you happy to be just his friend? Otherwise try to flirt a bit and see how he reacts.

I love being his friend, but I think I might eventually want more. I’m too scared to flirt with him. The last time I did this seven years ago, he paid no attention to it, and I just don’t want to get rejected and make things weird.

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How did you flirt in the past?

Posted by Lostthoughts
How far away do you normally live?

Btw, A peck kiss on the last night would have made him revaluate his feelings without having to say anything. Most cancers I know have a weakness for subtle actions🙂

Here at home, we only live about a 20 minute drive apart. His hug last night was a little tighter than usual, but I could’ve just been looking too much into it.

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by Lostthoughts
How far away do you normally live?


Btw, A peck kiss on the last night would have made him revaluate his feelings without having to say anything. Most cancers I know have a weakness for subtle actions🙂

Here at home, we only live about a 20 minute drive apart. His hug last night was a little tighter than usual, but I could’ve just been looking too much into it.

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Very fair. Cancers can be big fantasizers

You sound very level headed.

Posted by alexscaries
Why not ask him?

Because I’m afraid of getting rejected again, and I don’t want things to be weird if he doesn’t feel the same way.

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by Lostthoughts
How far away do you normally live?


Btw, A peck kiss on the last night would have made him revaluate his feelings without having to say anything. Most cancers I know have a weakness for subtle actions🙂

Here at home, we only live about a 20 minute drive apart. His hug last night was a little tighter than usual, but I could’ve just been looking too much into it.

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Ok then continue the vibe you guys have going. Call him and ask if he wants to go out again. You are in your 40s and things change.

Enjoy his company as you have been. Peck him at the end. Don't expect anything just go with it. Go see what's up. You will know with eye contact.

No matter what you will enjoy yourself right?

Cardinal water + Cardinal air = communication issues. I'm guessing his Venus is in Gemini (why he is attracted to you). He doesn't know how to get past that initial phase. You need to lower your front if you are interested in this guy. Cancer man needs to see some vulnerabilities - water signs are like that.

He needs encouragement to step forward. What is the opposite of bold? = Cancer guy. You're probably expecting strong mental communication and he just isn't on that wavelength. All people with strong moon energy need accepted familiarity. Once they are comfortable, they will express themselves.

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by alexscaries
Why not ask him?

Because I’m afraid of getting rejected again, and I don’t want things to be weird if he doesn’t feel the same way.
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You can stay trapped in limbo if you don't. If he rejects move on and find someone who respects and values you. For me it's the not knowing that would be more annoying

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Exactly, why torture yourself when you put yourself out of your own misery and just ask.

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by Timone
Are you happy to be just his friend? Otherwise try to flirt a bit and see how he reacts.

I love being his friend, but I think I might eventually want more. I’m too scared to flirt with him. The last time I did this seven years ago, he paid no attention to it, and I just don’t want to get rejected and make things weird.

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No risk, no gain.

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by Timone

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by Timone
Are you happy to be just his friend? Otherwise try to flirt a bit and see how he reacts.

I love being his friend, but I think I might eventually want more. I’m too scared to flirt with him. The last time I did this seven years ago, he paid no attention to it, and I just don’t want to get rejected and make things weird.
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No risk, no gain.

Depends on the cologne.

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You may end up with a swarm of flies!

Ask him and if he wants it to be just friends thank him for his honesty and move on with your life