Any other lirba's suck at love?

I was just wondering because I know I sure do. When it comes to one night stands no probs but when I really like a girl I seem to always get hurt!

Maybe because you jump in to fast, tard. :p Libras amaze me with how fast they fall in and out of relationships. Slow the hell down. For being indecisive you guys sure do rush into this type of thing rather quickly...

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Maybe because you jump in to fast, tard. :p Libras amaze me with how fast they fall in and out of relationships. Slow the hell down. For being indecisive you guys sure do rush into this type of thing rather quickly...

Okay, so there's a lot of truth in this. Seems CRAZY to us non-Libras, how fast those Leebs can fall into relationships, only to have them fizzle out just as quickly. (And Libras often have a string of very short term "relationships" before they find The One!) But one thing I've come to understand about Libras is that it's not malicious, and it's not them trying to hurt or use people.. it's just their way to try the relationship on for size. Instead of moving slowly, like say a Cap, they throw themselves headlong into it, treating it as oh so serious right away.. to see how it fits, to see how it works. Usually, it doesn't work -- which is normal for most relationships with ANY given signs -- but the Libra is left with a bad rep for moving "too quickly" and "acting like everything was perfect and amazing until POOF"... when they wouldn't have been painted SUCH a villain, had they just moved more slowly and cautiously, and both decided it "just isn't working out"...

Posted by Libra77
I was just wondering because I know I sure do. When it comes to one night stands no probs but when I really like a girl I seem to always get hurt!

My own Libra is very much like this.. several serious relationships, but with many short term attempts in between, and a few broken-hearted, confused girls in his wake. The girls that managed to move past "casual/starting" and into "serious and committed"... well, they ALL hurt him eventually.

His HS gf of 2 years, a Sag.. cheated with a friend of his while he was in boot camp, and dumped him on leave. The next gf was a Gemini for 2.5 years.. probably she didn't actually hurt him too much.. by the time she left him, it was a dead and loveless relationship he was too young and chicken-shit to end himself. The next was an Aqua (almost 7 yrs) who left him practically at the altar for the "just a coworker" she'd been cheating with for a year. Then a Sag who dumped him ("needed space") to date another guy (prob was cheating, but wasn't caught) after 6 months.. then a Pisces who kept going online behind his back to arrange hook ups.. dumped him when confronted, only a 2 mo relationship, but hurt him a lot cuz he'd started letting his guard down. Then there's me... after over 20 years of "dating failures" and "relationship failures".. I put them in quotes, cuz even though they seem like failures (at the time).. each and every experience shaped and molded him into the guy who met me when he was 36, and found his best friend, his biggest fan and admirer, and a true blue lover who straight up adores him.. and we've been through a lot together, ups and downs, and know this is what we both want.

I'm actually AMAZED the guy can find the willpower to TRUST me to not cheat, he's been cheated on soooo many times. So when I see his little flares of jealousy, his little flashes of insecurity and fear that maybe I'll cheat and he'll lose me after our 3+ years.. well, I understand it. I get why it happens. But I've never cheated in my life, and I won't start now.

So now that he's turning 40, he's finally with the woman he can lavish all of his Libra love and attention on.. and she really appreciates it and reciprocates. And he says it was worth everything, even if he didn't know it at the time his heart was getting broken over and over again, by all the wrong women.

I've only dated one libra(I'm a Sag male) and we were together for three months and yes...I'm still confused. I've read up a lot on Libras on this site for the past few weeks. I've even gotten some private advice on them. I understood them instinctively, but it was very eye opening to actually have their thoughts and actions put into words. I'll take a stab at some advice for you. What Nefer said is correct..take it slow. You don't have to rush things. Be friends first and hold off on the romantic phase for a while. Don't over think/analyze their nuances, actions, and words. Libras tend to be overly critical after the initial butterflies have worn off. This often leads to judging people and making assumptions because of what you see/hear. Although something's are obvious, that person is also reacting to you as well. So be aware of what you say and do and how you go about the relationship or friendship. Realize there's a difference between what is fair and what is the right thing to do. Trust your instincts/intuition. Libras and Sags have very sharp intuitions and instincts. If something doesn't feel right...it probably isn't. Be peaceful but don't be afraid of a confrontation. Everyone has some feelings of what is right and fair. If you feel the need to disappear, talk to them about it. While there are some people that you should run away from, most people are willing to talk to you. Use your diplomatic skills when doing this, but be honest and truthful. People will react one way or the other regardless of what you do, so don't be afraid of being seen as the bad guy. Have confidence in your decisions and don't be afraid to make a mistake. If you do, learn from it. You don't have to get everything right all the time. That's how you truly learn and strengthen yourself. Relax and go with the flow. It's ok to fly the coop, but that shouldn't be your first move when things start to go sour. Remember, that person isn't perfect. They are human beings. If they are willing to fight for you and beside you, treat you with respect and consideration, they may be worth keeping long term. They may not be tidy or neat, but their strengths may lie in other areas. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you want to be adored, treasured, etc you have to give it. You don't automatically get it because of who you are. Love begets love, trust begets trust. Most of all, true love is selfless. You have to accept the person in front of you...all of them.

Posted by Nefer
Okay, so there's a lot of truth in this. Seems CRAZY to us non-Libras, how fast those Leebs can fall into relationships, only to have them fizzle out just as quickly. (And Libras often have a string of very short term "relationships" before they find The One!) But one thing I've come to understand about Libras is that it's not malicious, and it's not them trying to hurt or use people.. it's just their way to try the relationship on for size. Instead of moving slowly, like say a Cap, they throw themselves headlong into it, treating it as oh so serious right away.. to see how it fits, to see how it works. Usually, it doesn't work -- which is normal for most relationships with ANY given signs -- but the Libra is left with a bad rep for moving "too quickly" and "acting like everything was perfect and amazing until POOF"... when they wouldn't have been painted SUCH a villain, had they just moved more slowly and cautiously, and both decided it "just isn't working out"...

Malicious or not, it's an absolutely immature way of dealing with it. I'm not going to be an apologist for this flaky sign. While I understand it's WHAT they do, WHY they do it can be rather ridiculous. Total disregard for others' feelings is bs. The end. They avoid conflict because they're wusses, but it's supposedly for the others' "sake." They should just get "the hint." Yes, so honorable. The only person's feelings they care about is their own. God forbid they have to face any conflict. So leaving the other person in the dark is perfectly acceptable. Conflict is scurry!

And this isn't just my experience or things I've witnessed irl, but some of the lame assed reasoning given by Libras HERE. Sign aside, I have zero respect for ANYONE who won't take others' feelings/circumstances into consideration before wining and dining them like that. Dating is dating, but fucking the other person up in the process isn't exactly supposed to be a part of it. "Try on for size" with the intent known. Not this fairytale bs that goes away after 1-2 months. Nobody likes a cocktease. Libras- cockteases of the zodiac. Nice enough people, just frustrating as hell.

I think sometimes us Librans tend to idealise the object of our affections. That's why you get romantic declarations a bit too early. Having said that, I tend to hold off making commitments until I'm a bit more sure, so we're not all like that. If you can learn something from each time the serious relationships didn't work out the way you wanted, then all is not lost. You'll find your dream girl one day! Maybe the lesson this time is to take more time to get to know her and be sure she's right for you.

^^^Not sure if it's clear, my comment was directed to the OP.

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Lol, as if.🙂

+1

Posted by LibraRose
I think sometimes us Librans tend to idealise the object of our affections. That's why you get romantic declarations a bit too early. Having said that, I tend to hold off making commitments until I'm a bit more sure, so we're not all like that. If you can learn something from each time the serious relationships didn't work out the way you wanted, then all is not lost. You'll find your dream girl one day! Maybe the lesson this time is to take more time to get to know her and be sure she's right for you.

And that's finding love in a nutshell. I think that is what happened in my relationship. Some of her declarations, while sounding wonderful, I kinda new they were just words. It was beautiful and we loved each other deeply in the truest sense of love. She's just now discovering that she's a libra and actually I had to tell her that lol. Of course I feel she made a mistake because in her words I have her everything she wanted. But I guess shes looking for more and I say good luck because it doesn't get much better than what we had. I've moved on and after she dated a few a-holes and appreciates what I bring to the table, maybe she'll come around. By then though, it may be too late.

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Lol, as if.🙂

Cockteases don't realize they're cockteases. :p

Posted by LibraRose
I think sometimes us Librans tend to idealise the object of our affections. That's why you get romantic declarations a bit too early. Having said that, I tend to hold off making commitments until I'm a bit more sure, so we're not all like that. If you can learn something from each time the serious relationships didn't work out the way you wanted, then all is not lost. You'll find your dream girl one day! Maybe the lesson this time is to take more time to get to know her and be sure she's right for you.

Good for you though. Nobody is perfect, but for one to realize what they're doing wrong or that they tend to do something that causes problems, says a lot. I don't think enough people do that, especially when it comes to approaching relationships, which is why you get posts like this. "Hmm, this keeps happening when I do XYZ..."

I don't think enough people really evaluate themselves or the situation enough before jumping in like they do. Are you mentally ready to date so you won't go around tormenting everyone you date? No hang ups left over from past relationships? It's like those people who jump from relationship to relationship. They're running in because they want to. Who cares about the other person that has to put up with their issues that were never addressed or resolved?

Same goes for those who jump in too fast. Not only does it set up for potential disaster if it sticks, but there are a lot of people who are turned off to that behavior. "OMG, THEY'RE MOVING TOO FAST!!" It's kind of a double whammy for Libras. :/

Posted by oldskoolflavor
why look for your 'other half' when you can choose to love yourself ?

And that is the ultimate truth. So many of us go looking for someone to love us when you have to love yourself first. It's not about vanity or selfishness. It's about self worth and confidence in yourself. If you don't have it, you will always have problems with relationships because you will depend upon the love/happiness the other person gives you. A lot if people regardless of sign don't realize that. If you can't be happy by yourself, how can you be happy in a relationship?

Posted by oldskoolflavor
why look for your 'other half' when you can choose to love yourself ?

I've never understood why people go "looking" for any of this. It'll happen when it happens. *shrugs*

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Lol, as if.🙂

Cockteases don't realize they're cockteases. :p

By that definition anyone/everyone is one then?

click to expand

Is this the only way you really deal with responses here? Twisting things around to win an argument? Go outside, E. It'll do you some good. :p

If you want to get technical, then your assumption of "by definition" would be incorrect. People with certain traits that qualify them as a cocktease would indeed be defined as a cocktease. Not everybody has those traits. Therefore, no, not anyone/everyone is one.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by Nefer
Okay, so there's a lot of truth in this. Seems CRAZY to us non-Libras, how fast those Leebs can fall into relationships, only to have them fizzle out just as quickly. (And Libras often have a string of very short term "relationships" before they find The One!) But one thing I've come to understand about Libras is that it's not malicious, and it's not them trying to hurt or use people.. it's just their way to try the relationship on for size. Instead of moving slowly, like say a Cap, they throw themselves headlong into it, treating it as oh so serious right away.. to see how it fits, to see how it works. Usually, it doesn't work -- which is normal for most relationships with ANY given signs -- but the Libra is left with a bad rep for moving "too quickly" and "acting like everything was perfect and amazing until POOF"... when they wouldn't have been painted SUCH a villain, had they just moved more slowly and cautiously, and both decided it "just isn't working out"...

Malicious or not, it's an absolutely immature way of dealing with it. I'm not going to be an apologist for this flaky sign. While I understand it's WHAT they do, WHY they do it can be rather ridiculous. Total disregard for others' feelings is bs. The end. They avoid conflict because they're wusses, but it's supposedly for the others' "sake." They should just get "the hint." Yes, so honorable. The only person's feelings they care about is their own. God forbid they have to face any conflict. So leaving the other person in the dark is perfectly acceptable. Conflict is scurry!

And this isn't just my experience or things I've witnessed irl, but some of the lame assed reasoning given by Libras HERE. Sign aside, I have zero respect for ANYONE who won't take others' feelings/circumstances into consideration before wining and dining them like that. Dating is dating, but fucking the other person up in the process isn't exactly supposed to be a part of it. "Try on for size" with the intent known. Not this fairytale bs that goes away after 1-2 months. Nobody likes a cocktease. Libras- cockteases of the zodiac. Nice enough people, just frustrating as hell.

click to expand

LOL! A strong +1 from me.

If you take the zodiac sign out and put these qualities on any person, it equals to an obnoxious loser who shouldnt date until he truly knows what he/she wants in order to
Avoid the crap they put others through.

I agree us Libra's do have the tendency of falling in love to quickly and getting wrapped up with one night stands.. But I actually ca
Am pretty choosesy when it comes to my men and it takes a lot to get me to ye bed but it seems they always work hard to get us in the bed but don't put fourth the effort to keep us there and I know it's not the kitty Kat because your girl is a freak!

RAISES HAND FOR THE ORIGNAL QUESTION! LOL.

HOWEVER I'MA BEAST WHEN IT COMES TO FALLING OUT OF LOVE AND THE PERSON THAT WAITED TO LONG TO LOVE ME BACK THE WAY I DESERVE, LETS JUST SAY THE NEXT WOMAN AFTER ME WILL BE CHERISHED MORE QUICKLY. BECAUSE WHEN IM DONE IM DONE, BUT I WISH YOU WELL WITH THE OTHERS DEAR. LOL

I definitely suck at love. I always tend to weigh out pros/cons & if the person isn't right for me..it's time to go. If the person seems right, I will see how it goes.. I know there is the right man out there for me, so I just keep myself busy with my career & enriching my life by surrounding myself with quality people who care for me & vice versa. As a Libra, they say we love to be in love, the feeling of it..yes, that's definitely true! But as I got older, I've realized there's other ways of feeling love..to give love and recieve it. I do that by spending time with family, friends, my dogs lol, being active/working out, & helping others in general. I've learned to also love myself more and be more selfish with myself and my love, since I've always been a people pleaser..it was leaving me drained and taken advantage of.. That hurts when you go above and beyond for people, but in the end they just wanted to use you (some friends and family)..

@Libra77 I'm a Libra and love the whole being in love thing through enjoying life. If I meet someone special along the way, heck that's a bonus lol. I enjoy being single, sure I may be a third wheel or the 5th wheel whatever..but I'm happy having no drama/heartache, headache, etc for the time being haha. So maybe I need to take back my comment about sucking at love lol,i love and cherish life/family/my career/friends, etc. I'm the type to be single for a very long time instead of jumping from relationship to relation OR sticking in a relationship where the flame blew out months, years ago. I think as I matured I got better with dating and the whole meaning of love thing. I never throw the word around for one thing. I've only said it once to one of my exbfs lol. @tiziani I agree with the old fashioned side, I still believe in most of those values.
People and men in general usually think I like the extravagant things and expect the same with love and actions, that I'm spoiled and love to be spoiled, too picky, etc. Sure, I am picky..but why waste my time on someone who is just dating me for how I look or status, etc. Spoiled? I spoil myself, I deserve to buy myself what I want and treat myself too lol. I'm not very needy in relationships, I just have expectations (ie call when you say you will, honestly, etc). Extravagance? It's the little things that get to me, but someone wouldn't know that if they don't really get to know me. I like nice things and surround myself in nice pleasant surroundings, I shouldn't be judged on it lol. I do a lot for other people and work hard. I do well in relationships, but I'm not going to fall in love with every smuck out there..I'm going to weigh things out first in my head haha.