MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts
Comments: 37529 · Posts: 41243 · Topics: 331
Conflicts with Mother-in-law's or potential MIL? (Page 2)
You are on page out of 3 | Reverse Order
Posted by SeaLion
I'm so happy my mother in law finaly did herself in one day in front of both my husband and my brother in law. Pretty sad when both your sons are defending the wife. Life has been peaceful every since!
She took her life in front of her sons? 😳
Most mother-in-laws are big pieces of shits to their daughter-in-laws. I cannot tell you how many mother-in-law situations I've had close people in my life encounter that are borderline nasty and obsessive over their sons. Sometimes you wish you could scream at them to shove their sons back up their vaginas because clearly that would make them the happiest. Women like these are so attached to their sons either because they've had a shitty husband or just plainly don't have anything else meaningful going on in their lives. I see them as the most pathetic level a female can stoop. Seriously fuck trying to ever impress her because you won't. You just do you and ignore her existence if you realllllly want to be with her son. You can play neutral if her son is around, other than that let her talk all the shit she wants about you. At least your guy will know it's all coming from one side instead of both. Try to get her to fear you by showing with your actions how *he's* the lucky one to deserve you if you can. Put the bitch in her place with your actions, not words.
It sounds like, from what I am reading, is she may suffer from what I term as, "only me" syndrome. This is where scarcity mentality comes to play, and if her son loves you more, than she views it as he loves her less. Not the case, just how she views it. Given what you said about her feelings towards her stepdaughter. And if she is as close as you say she is to her son, then she probably feels this with him too. It will be up to your bf, to implement the boundaries of what is acceptable behavior. If your bf, sets a precedence that she is allowed to make uncomfortable statements to you, she will always think she can. This could boil over into if you guys get married and have kids. It could be about how you parent, etc... And that would make things 100 times worse now.
That doesn't mean I think you should confront her, yourself. But you should verbalize this to your bf, so that he can manage his mother. But don't come off as attacking her, or nagging him about her. If you do that, then it could impact your relationship with him. Also, learn to let go of some of the smaller things.
But it is his job to manage his parents, as it is your job to manage ours. He has to step up and place boundaries for his mother.
That doesn't mean I think you should confront her, yourself. But you should verbalize this to your bf, so that he can manage his mother. But don't come off as attacking her, or nagging him about her. If you do that, then it could impact your relationship with him. Also, learn to let go of some of the smaller things.
But it is his job to manage his parents, as it is your job to manage ours. He has to step up and place boundaries for his mother.
Posted by SassyKiwi
Most mother-in-laws are big pieces of shits to their daughter-in-laws. I cannot tell you how many mother-in-law situations I've had close people in my life encounter that are borderline nasty and obsessive over their sons. Sometimes you wish you could scream at them to shove their sons back up their vaginas because clearly that would make them the happiest. Women like these are so attached to their sons either because they've had a shitty husband or just plainly don't have anything else meaningful going on in their lives. I see them as the most pathetic level a female can stoop. Seriously fuck trying to ever impress her because you won't. You just do you and ignore her existence if you realllllly want to be with her son. You can play neutral if her son is around, other than that let her talk all the shit she wants about you. At least your guy will know it's all coming from one side instead of both. Try to get her to fear you by showing with your actions how *he's* the lucky one to deserve you if you can. Put the bitch in her place with your actions, not words.
It's really twisted, I've known women who treat their sons like they're their husbands...selfish, warped and very unhealthy, sad women. If the son is weak it can screw them up big time
I agree with all you say here Sassy.
Shame on those women, to me that's not love, it's fecked up 👎🏻
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by SassyKiwi
Most mother-in-laws are big pieces of shits to their daughter-in-laws. I cannot tell you how many mother-in-law situations I've had close people in my life encounter that are borderline nasty and obsessive over their sons. Sometimes you wish you could scream at them to shove their sons back up their vaginas because clearly that would make them the happiest. Women like these are so attached to their sons either because they've had a shitty husband or just plainly don't have anything else meaningful going on in their lives. I see them as the most pathetic level a female can stoop. Seriously fuck trying to ever impress her because you won't. You just do you and ignore her existence if you realllllly want to be with her son. You can play neutral if her son is around, other than that let her talk all the shit she wants about you. At least your guy will know it's all coming from one side instead of both. Try to get her to fear you by showing with your actions how *he's* the lucky one to deserve you if you can. Put the bitch in her place with your actions, not words.
It's really twisted, I've known women who treat their sons like they're their husbands...selfish, warped and very unhealthy, sad women. If the son is weak it can screw them up big time
I agree with all you say here Sassy.
Shame on those women, to me that's not love, it's fecked up 👎🏻click to expand
It's sickening. Letting your son go and live his own life and being there for him when *he* wants to come to you for advice or whatever is love. Constantly feeding him your unsolicited comments and trying to interfere in his life is only a reflection of the mother's own insecurities. It's so baffling how they don't ever have the self-awareness on how mental they come off. Sons that are a victim of them tend to not realize it until multiple women break up with them over it. Then they have no choice but to find the pattern of where their relationships went wrong. That's when the sons will finally stand up to their moms and might risk losing their sons to it. So these mothers will NEVER win yet they can't help but continue to be petty. It truly should be classified as its own mental disorder. There is no saving these women. They're genuinely lost causes.
Posted by SassyKiwiPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by SassyKiwi
Most mother-in-laws are big pieces of shits to their daughter-in-laws. I cannot tell you how many mother-in-law situations I've had close people in my life encounter that are borderline nasty and obsessive over their sons. Sometimes you wish you could scream at them to shove their sons back up their vaginas because clearly that would make them the happiest. Women like these are so attached to their sons either because they've had a shitty husband or just plainly don't have anything else meaningful going on in their lives. I see them as the most pathetic level a female can stoop. Seriously fuck trying to ever impress her because you won't. You just do you and ignore her existence if you realllllly want to be with her son. You can play neutral if her son is around, other than that let her talk all the shit she wants about you. At least your guy will know it's all coming from one side instead of both. Try to get her to fear you by showing with your actions how *he's* the lucky one to deserve you if you can. Put the bitch in her place with your actions, not words.
It's really twisted, I've known women who treat their sons like they're their husbands...selfish, warped and very unhealthy, sad women. If the son is weak it can screw them up big time
I agree with all you say here Sassy.
Shame on those women, to me that's not love, it's fecked up 👎🏻
It's sickening. Letting your son go and live his own life and being there for him when *he* wants to come to you for advice or whatever is love. Constantly feeding him your unsolicited comments and trying to interfere in his life is only a reflection of the mother's own insecurities. It's so baffling how they don't ever have the self-awareness on how mental they come off. Sons that are a victim of them tend to not realize it until multiple women break up with them over it. Then they have no choice but to find the pattern of where their relationships went wrong. That's when the sons will finally stand up to their moms and might risk losing their sons to it. So these mothers will NEVER win yet they can't help but continue to be petty. It truly should be classified as its own mental disorder. There is no saving these women. They're genuinely lost causes.click to expand
Yes, sadly they are and even sadder this is not uncommon
I wonder whether some people ever look at themselves and the way they behave and how it affects others?
Posted by tiziani
Don't you guys think you're all turning this into your own story now?
The impression I got from OP and her boyfriend over the years is they're solid at putting one another first. And he's lived on his own for 8 years counting. Pretty sure his family is solid too if they've raised two children in theirtwenties who've lived independently and both embracing the challenge of home ownership. something tells me they'll be all right.
The mother solid? Did you read about how she lets down both her son and his future wife?
She is the opposite to solid.....she's unstable...
Posted by tizianiPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by tiziani
Don't you guys think you're all turning this into your own story now?
The impression I got from OP and her boyfriend over the years is they're solid at putting one another first. And he's lived on his own for 8 years counting. Pretty sure his family is solid too if they've raised two children in theirtwenties who've lived independently and both embracing the challenge of home ownership. something tells me they'll be all right.
The mother solid? Did you read about how she lets down both her son and his future wife?
She is the opposite to solid.....she's unstable...
Really, in the big picture of things, you genuinely believe a woman who's raised two independent children, both leading long term relationships of their own, is just point blank unstable?
I'm going to bet she's feeling jealous and handling it badly for the time being.click to expand
Yes she has an unstable personality.....despite raising a family. Yes, she needs to grow up and work on her instability and jealousy isssues, it's making things difficult for her son and his girl....
Posted by Phantom_LimboPosted by tiziani
Don't you guys think you're all turning this into your own story now?
The impression I got from OP and her boyfriend over the years is they're solid at putting one another first. And he's lived on his own for 8 years counting. Pretty sure his family is solid too if they've raised two children in theirtwenties who've lived independently and both embracing the challenge of home ownership. something tells me they'll be all right.
This thread has been a fascinating descent into the projection of one's issues onto strangers.click to expand
It's been an interesting observation of what the OP is experiencing with her bf's mother and her behaviour
Posted by tiziani
Don't you guys think you're all turning this into your own story now?
The impression I got from OP and her boyfriend over the years is they're solid at putting one another first. And he's lived on his own for 8 years counting. Pretty sure his family is solid too if they've raised two children in theirtwenties who've lived independently and both embracing the challenge of home ownership. something tells me they'll be all right.
Yeah I agree.
I see her saying "his house" as a slip of the tongue.
I hosted my sister, nephew, and baby daddy last week.
He told her he felt I was being cold. Freaking Pisces moons and their feels amiright. But I'm not the one to give someone instant approval. Your gonna have to earn it. And its gonna take time, doesn't happen overnight.
Once you prove to her your not going anywhere, that your his ride or die, she will warm up to you. Like you said, your about 1-2 years out anyways before you combine funds and commit to a 20/30 yr mortgage. All you have is time.
And really just concentrate on your relationship with him. Outside noise is just outside noise.
He told her he felt I was being cold. Freaking Pisces moons and their feels amiright. But I'm not the one to give someone instant approval. Your gonna have to earn it. And its gonna take time, doesn't happen overnight.
Once you prove to her your not going anywhere, that your his ride or die, she will warm up to you. Like you said, your about 1-2 years out anyways before you combine funds and commit to a 20/30 yr mortgage. All you have is time.
And really just concentrate on your relationship with him. Outside noise is just outside noise.
Posted by LadyNeptune
I hosted my sister, nephew, and baby daddy last week.
He told her he felt I was being cold. Freaking Pisces moons and their feels amiright. But I'm not the one to give someone instant approval. Your gonna have to earn it. And its gonna take time, doesn't happen overnight.
Once you prove to her your not going anywhere, that your his ride or die, she will warm up to you. Like you said, your about 1-2 years out anyways before you combine funds and commit to a 20/30 yr mortgage. All you have is time.
And really just concentrate on your relationship with him. Outside noise is just outside noise.
My mother was married to my Dad for over 40 years. His mother made her life very difficult. When she passed, my mum and dad found a diary full of vitriol about my mum. She was jealous that my Dad had met a woman who loved and supported him.
Not all mother in laws warm to their sons and daughters partners...
Posted by KoniPosted by tiziani
Don't you guys think you're all turning this into your own story now?
The impression I got from OP and her boyfriend over the years is they're solid at putting one another first. And he's lived on his own for 8 years counting. Pretty sure his family is solid too if they've raised two children in theirtwenties who've lived independently and both embracing the challenge of home ownership. something tells me they'll be all right.
Well yes, we can only share our own stories since that is all we have.click to expand
....and that's what the OP asked for
Who says that you HAVE to like your in-laws?
Who says that your in-laws HAVE to like you?
I get it, we want our other half's family to like us, that's normal. However, that desire should not have stopped you from having a conversation with your mother in-law about how her comments hurt you. If you want her to respect you and most importantly, ACCEPT you as her son's partner, she needs to know what your boundaries are and there is nothing wrong with communicating them in a totally respectful manner. In her (slightly twisted) reality she probably thinks she didn't say or do anything wrong so there's every chance she would be quite surprised if you confronted her about stuff. She might like you even less for it, but at least she will respect you for it, which in turn will make it even easier for her to accept you as part of the family at some point in the future 🙂
Who says that your in-laws HAVE to like you?
I get it, we want our other half's family to like us, that's normal. However, that desire should not have stopped you from having a conversation with your mother in-law about how her comments hurt you. If you want her to respect you and most importantly, ACCEPT you as her son's partner, she needs to know what your boundaries are and there is nothing wrong with communicating them in a totally respectful manner. In her (slightly twisted) reality she probably thinks she didn't say or do anything wrong so there's every chance she would be quite surprised if you confronted her about stuff. She might like you even less for it, but at least she will respect you for it, which in turn will make it even easier for her to accept you as part of the family at some point in the future 🙂
i think being nice to her and extending an olive branch is the best thing to do for BOOTS.
holding on to vitriol - she's a bitch, she needs to be put in her place, she's unstable, she's a jealous monster - is not going to be good for anyone, especially boots.
being angry at one person makes her no better than a difficult mother in law.
what if they have children? is boots supposed to be mardy every time her mother in law sees her grandchildren? christmas? easter? birthdays?
at one point do you say, her issues are her issues and for the sake of my family, i am going to make the best of a less than ideal situation?
jesus, some of you just sound deeply unhappy with yourselves, life and the people in it.
ffs, chill out.
holding on to vitriol - she's a bitch, she needs to be put in her place, she's unstable, she's a jealous monster - is not going to be good for anyone, especially boots.
being angry at one person makes her no better than a difficult mother in law.
what if they have children? is boots supposed to be mardy every time her mother in law sees her grandchildren? christmas? easter? birthdays?
at one point do you say, her issues are her issues and for the sake of my family, i am going to make the best of a less than ideal situation?
jesus, some of you just sound deeply unhappy with yourselves, life and the people in it.
ffs, chill out.
Didn't read thread, but I was married to someone that was really close to his mom. The main thing I want to say is important is if he sticks up for you when she says something out of line, either to or about you. Can he set boundaries with her? Because if not, that's a recipe for disaster...
Posted by elllle
There is nothing you can do.
Sometimes we don't like you.
Sometimes it's warranted, sometimes it's not.
We're allowed.
my libra daughter in law....love her
my leo whatever she is to my son....can't stand her
It's not jealousy. That's dumb.
It's pretty much whether I think you and your family are shitty people or not.
If you are shitty people...well then, yeah....not going to care for you too much.
I've known plenty of women who have felt jealous of their son's wives, my grandmother was a prime example. She didn't want to mother my dad but when he grew up and met my mother, she was so jealous....wrote it all down in the diary...horrible to read...
Posted by jeane
i think being nice to her and extending an olive branch is the best thing to do for BOOTS.
holding on to vitriol - she's a bitch, she needs to be put in her place, she's unstable, she's a jealous monster - is not going to be good for anyone, especially boots.
being angry at one person makes her no better than a difficult mother in law.
what if they have children? is boots supposed to be mardy every time her mother in law sees her grandchildren? christmas? easter? birthdays?
at one point do you say, her issues are her issues and for the sake of my family, i am going to make the best of a less than ideal situation?
jesus, some of you just sound deeply unhappy with yourselves, life and the people in it.
ffs, chill out.
This post encapsulates perfectly why opposite signs NEED to learn from each other's strengths. Libra definitely can learn a thing or two from Aries direct approach.
Confronting someone does not mean to offend that person, it does not imply insulting, it means you are communicating who you are, which in this case, seeing that it's family..is crucial
Posted by tiziani
Don't you guys think you're all turning this into your own story now?
The impression I got from OP and her boyfriend over the years is they're solid at putting one another first. And he's lived on his own for 8 years counting. Pretty sure his family is solid too if they've raised two children in theirtwenties who've lived independently and both embracing the challenge of home ownership. something tells me they'll be all right.
GTFO with your anti-cat lady logic
I should probably actually read the thread now.
Posted by Boots1313
Has anybody ever had a conflict with their mother-in-law, or potential mother-in-law or significant others mother?
I' seem to be having a little bit of difficulty with my boyfriend's mom, which is new to me cuz I've never had Somebody's Mother not like me before.
My boyfriend and his mother are extremely close, and I've met her probably about a dozen times within the year that we've been dating. Recently my boyfriend told his mother that him and I are thinking of buying a house. So we've been looking, and seeking her guidance and assistance.
Last night at Easter dinner she had a couple of houses that she had saved to show us, first of all she didn't acknowledge that I would be involved in the house buying process she kept telling my boyfriend about "his" house. And if he goes in with somebody else, such as his sister it would be much easier for him financially.
Second thing is we were looking at a house at didn't have a dishwasher and my boyfriend had mentioned he prefers to have a dishwasher, and she said "oh is that because Gee isn't domesticated?" Right in front of me?!
Now I am very domesticated, I cook often I fold and wash my boyfriend's laundry which isn't even my responsibility cuz we don't live together but I do it just cuz I like to and help him out.
Somewhere along the lines I guess he mentioned that the one thing I despise doing his dishes which he does himself because he doesn't mind. There's been a few other backhanded compliments or backhanded thing she said about me. Such as me being "opinionated ".
I'm curious if this is just her being jealous that her son is getting close to a woman and considering settling down or if she actually doesn't like me.
Has anybody else have experiences like this? And how do i handle it with grace?
From first glance, I have a comment and a question.
1. Even without being a parent, I would NOT recommend buying a house with with someone you're not married to, especially if you've only been dating for a year. If things go south, that is going to be REALLY messy. It sounds like Mom know this too and is trying to persuade him to buy it on his own.
2. The one thing I have learned with people who make comments like those you've described.. to your face, is to make a subtle, yet witty comeback. They are testing you with a show of dominance. Don't fail the test. They will respect you more because of it.
Posted by Boots1313Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsPosted by generation_xy
I think if you haven't spent that much time or not much interaction, it isn't enough to conclude that she doesn't like you.
Although, it wouldn't hurt to let her know how you feel.
Yeah, I came back to say this. She may still be wary until she gets to know you some more.
Its tough with busy lives. We see her basically 1x a month. She lives an hour away.
I also think becasue we are always in her environment, she never sees me actually play the "role" she expects from me.
She doesnt see all the things i do, do for her son. Him and I dont live togther so if she sees his place it's "his" accomplishments, and she doesn't think i was involved.click to expand
Next time you're in her environment, offer to help her with those "roles" e.g. help cook, do the dishes, etc.
Past S/O parents have side eyed me on the first meeting. But I'm very quick to offer help when in their environment. It helps break their guard down and offers the great opportunity to talk. Diffuse and bring your enemies as close to you as possible.
Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313
Thank you for the advice. As with all your advice I will try to adapt this and use it.
Im a horrible conversationalist and i have been called harsh in my approach to things.
Softening my approach to everything in life is something im learning and actively trying to persue.
it's understandable to want to fight fire with fire. that would be my gut reaction too.
but! and here's a big butt....you love your fella and for his sake and as an expression of that love, it's your duty to get along with his mum. love him enough not to put him in the middle. if he does it on his own volition - fantastic.
like i said, if she becomes insulting, stand your ground...even make a pointed joke of it.
eg...q: is she not domesticated? a: oh i am! i even eat with cutlery now!click to expand
^^This
Sounds like a personality quirk of hers with no real awareness of what she's saying. A lot of my family is like that. Subtle jabs. Which are met by me with subtle jabs back. They usually give me a little smirk and change topic.
Posted by tiziani
Don't you guys think you're all turning this into your own story now?
The impression I got from OP and her boyfriend over the years is they're solid at putting one another first. And he's lived on his own for 8 years counting. Pretty sure his family is solid too if they've raised two children in theirtwenties who've lived independently and both embracing the challenge of home ownership. something tells me they'll be all right.
Okay.. caught up.
Yep, bunch of outside stories and experiences trying to be the "truth".
This doesn't seem as big a deal as it's being made out to be.
Roll with the punches. Don't take life so seriously.
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by tiziani
Don't you guys think you're all turning this into your own story now?
The impression I got from OP and her boyfriend over the years is they're solid at putting one another first. And he's lived on his own for 8 years counting. Pretty sure his family is solid too if they've raised two children in theirtwenties who've lived independently and both embracing the challenge of home ownership. something tells me they'll be all right.
The mother solid? Did you read about how she lets down both her son and his future wife?
She is the opposite to solid.....she's unstable...click to expand
Being unstable doesn't make you a bad person.
Posted by Phantom_LimboPosted by tiziani
Don't you guys think you're all turning this into your own story now?
The impression I got from OP and her boyfriend over the years is they're solid at putting one another first. And he's lived on his own for 8 years counting. Pretty sure his family is solid too if they've raised two children in theirtwenties who've lived independently and both embracing the challenge of home ownership. something tells me they'll be all right.
This thread has been a fascinating descent into the projection of one's issues onto strangers.click to expand
Welcome to DXP
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeane
i think being nice to her and extending an olive branch is the best thing to do for BOOTS.
holding on to vitriol - she's a bitch, she needs to be put in her place, she's unstable, she's a jealous monster - is not going to be good for anyone, especially boots.
being angry at one person makes her no better than a difficult mother in law.
what if they have children? is boots supposed to be mardy every time her mother in law sees her grandchildren? christmas? easter? birthdays?
at one point do you say, her issues are her issues and for the sake of my family, i am going to make the best of a less than ideal situation?
jesus, some of you just sound deeply unhappy with yourselves, life and the people in it.
ffs, chill out.
This post encapsulates perfectly why opposite signs NEED to learn from each other's strengths. Libra definitely can learn a thing or two from Aries direct approach.
Confronting someone does not mean to offend that person, it does not imply insulting, it means you are communicating who you are, which in this case, seeing that it's family..is crucialclick to expand
yeah how someone should feel and react and how someone reacts in reality can be very different.
thinking that only one point of view is valid and the other irrational is not going to work. you have to meet people where they are, not where you think they should be.
i get the sense a woman who is displaying jealous behaviour and clinging to her son while disparaging his girlfriend isn't going to respond with "oh i'm so glad you told me. i didn't realise i was behaving in such a manner. you've given me a valuable lesson boots. i'm so very grateful that you have taken the time to set the record straight."
Bunch of Cercei cat ladies in here telling Boots to blow up the sept with the mother inside so they can live happily ever after, only for OP boyfriend to jump out the Red Keep window.
Posted by ellllePosted by MyStarsShinePosted by elllle
There is nothing you can do.
Sometimes we don't like you.
Sometimes it's warranted, sometimes it's not.
We're allowed.
my libra daughter in law....love her
my leo whatever she is to my son....can't stand her
It's not jealousy. That's dumb.
It's pretty much whether I think you and your family are shitty people or not.
If you are shitty people...well then, yeah....not going to care for you too much.
I've known plenty of women who have felt jealous of their son's wives, my grandmother was a prime example. She didn't want to mother my dad but when he grew up and met my mother, she was so jealous....wrote it all down in the diary...horrible to read...
Aside from your grandmother, did these "plenty of women" tell you they felt jealous?
I dont know how one can say someone is jealous unless they are projecting their own feelings in the situation.click to expand
I'm referring to women I've had as work mates, friends, family members etc who have been the targets of jealous mother in laws. It does actually go on.
Posted by _DazedPosted by Boots1313
Has anybody ever had a conflict with their mother-in-law, or potential mother-in-law or significant others mother?
I' seem to be having a little bit of difficulty with my boyfriend's mom, which is new to me cuz I've never had Somebody's Mother not like me before.
My boyfriend and his mother are extremely close, and I've met her probably about a dozen times within the year that we've been dating. Recently my boyfriend told his mother that him and I are thinking of buying a house. So we've been looking, and seeking her guidance and assistance.
Last night at Easter dinner she had a couple of houses that she had saved to show us, first of all she didn't acknowledge that I would be involved in the house buying process she kept telling my boyfriend about "his" house. And if he goes in with somebody else, such as his sister it would be much easier for him financially.
Second thing is we were looking at a house at didn't have a dishwasher and my boyfriend had mentioned he prefers to have a dishwasher, and she said "oh is that because Gee isn't domesticated?" Right in front of me?!
Now I am very domesticated, I cook often I fold and wash my boyfriend's laundry which isn't even my responsibility cuz we don't live together but I do it just cuz I like to and help him out.
Somewhere along the lines I guess he mentioned that the one thing I despise doing his dishes which he does himself because he doesn't mind. There's been a few other backhanded compliments or backhanded thing she said about me. Such as me being "opinionated ".
I'm curious if this is just her being jealous that her son is getting close to a woman and considering settling down or if she actually doesn't like me.
Has anybody else have experiences like this? And how do i handle it with grace?
From first glance, I have a comment and a question.
1. Even without being a parent, I would NOT recommend buying a house with with someone you're not married to, especially if you've only been dating for a year. If things go south, that is going to be REALLY messy. It sounds like Mom know this too and is trying to persuade him to buy it on his own.
2. The one thing I have learned with people who make comments like those you've described.. to your face, is to make a subtle, yet witty comeback. They are testing you with a show of dominance. Don't fail the test. They will respect you more because of it.click to expand
Hey dazed, to answer you first point. We are still a year or two away from actually bUying anything. My bf knows that i need a ring on my finger before signing anything. But it doesnt hurt to talk about it, look at the market and do research. He ask his mom about the process. (She has brought and aold several houses).
As for the second comment. I wish i was quick witted. Sasly im not.
Posted by 7sPosted by _DazedPosted by Boots1313
Has anybody ever had a conflict with their mother-in-law, or potential mother-in-law or significant others mother?
I' seem to be having a little bit of difficulty with my boyfriend's mom, which is new to me cuz I've never had Somebody's Mother not like me before.
My boyfriend and his mother are extremely close, and I've met her probably about a dozen times within the year that we've been dating. Recently my boyfriend told his mother that him and I are thinking of buying a house. So we've been looking, and seeking her guidance and assistance.
Last night at Easter dinner she had a couple of houses that she had saved to show us, first of all she didn't acknowledge that I would be involved in the house buying process she kept telling my boyfriend about "his" house. And if he goes in with somebody else, such as his sister it would be much easier for him financially.
Second thing is we were looking at a house at didn't have a dishwasher and my boyfriend had mentioned he prefers to have a dishwasher, and she said "oh is that because Gee isn't domesticated?" Right in front of me?!
Now I am very domesticated, I cook often I fold and wash my boyfriend's laundry which isn't even my responsibility cuz we don't live together but I do it just cuz I like to and help him out.
Somewhere along the lines I guess he mentioned that the one thing I despise doing his dishes which he does himself because he doesn't mind. There's been a few other backhanded compliments or backhanded thing she said about me. Such as me being "opinionated ".
I'm curious if this is just her being jealous that her son is getting close to a woman and considering settling down or if she actually doesn't like me.
Has anybody else have experiences like this? And how do i handle it with grace?
From first glance, I have a comment and a question.
1. Even without being a parent, I would NOT recommend buying a house with with someone you're not married to, especially if you've only been dating for a year. If things go south, that is going to be REALLY messy. It sounds like Mom know this too and is trying to persuade him to buy it on his own.
2. The one thing I have learned with people who make comments like those you've described.. to your face, is to make a subtle, yet witty comeback. They are testing you with a show of dominance. Don't fail the test. They will respect you more because of it.
lol i think you're the first to comment about buying a house with a bf. I was going to say something but then i thought,"they're both fixed signs and taurus at that. I don't know what thats like." And they live in a heavy wooded area, cook their food outside and go hunting. I dont know what thats like either.click to expand
Lol were being smart about it. Were atill a year or two away from making moves. You know Taurus, we have to think on things for awhile.
Posted by _DazedPosted by Boots1313Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsPosted by generation_xy
I think if you haven't spent that much time or not much interaction, it isn't enough to conclude that she doesn't like you.
Although, it wouldn't hurt to let her know how you feel.
Yeah, I came back to say this. She may still be wary until she gets to know you some more.
Its tough with busy lives. We see her basically 1x a month. She lives an hour away.
I also think becasue we are always in her environment, she never sees me actually play the "role" she expects from me.
She doesnt see all the things i do, do for her son. Him and I dont live togther so if she sees his place it's "his" accomplishments, and she doesn't think i was involved.
Next time you're in her environment, offer to help her with those "roles" e.g. help cook, do the dishes, etc.
Past S/O parents have side eyed me on the first meeting. But I'm very quick to offer help when in their environment. It helps break their guard down and offers the great opportunity to talk. Diffuse and bring your enemies as close to you as possible.click to expand
I always do...
After spending a day with her my nose is so brown...
Posted by _Dazed
Bunch of Cercei cat ladies in here telling Boots to blow up the sept with the mother inside so they can live happily ever after, only for OP boyfriend to jump out the Red Keep window.
🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️ que?
JFC this blew up...
Posted by Boots1313Posted by _Dazed
Bunch of Cercei cat ladies in here telling Boots to blow up the sept with the mother inside so they can live happily ever after, only for OP boyfriend to jump out the Red Keep window.
🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️ que?click to expand
Folks offering act first advice without thinking of the consequences.
Posted by _DazedPosted by Boots1313Posted by _Dazed
Bunch of Cercei cat ladies in here telling Boots to blow up the sept with the mother inside so they can live happily ever after, only for OP boyfriend to jump out the Red Keep window.
🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️ que?
Folks offering act first advice without thinking of the consequences.click to expand
Yea, i def want to be delicate with the situation and not blow anything up.
I understand this needs to be approached gently and with understanding.
Posted by jeanePosted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeane
i think being nice to her and extending an olive branch is the best thing to do for BOOTS.
holding on to vitriol - she's a bitch, she needs to be put in her place, she's unstable, she's a jealous monster - is not going to be good for anyone, especially boots.
being angry at one person makes her no better than a difficult mother in law.
what if they have children? is boots supposed to be mardy every time her mother in law sees her grandchildren? christmas? easter? birthdays?
at one point do you say, her issues are her issues and for the sake of my family, i am going to make the best of a less than ideal situation?
jesus, some of you just sound deeply unhappy with yourselves, life and the people in it.
ffs, chill out.
This post encapsulates perfectly why opposite signs NEED to learn from each other's strengths. Libra definitely can learn a thing or two from Aries direct approach.
Confronting someone does not mean to offend that person, it does not imply insulting, it means you are communicating who you are, which in this case, seeing that it's family..is crucial
yeah how someone should feel and react and how someone reacts in reality can be very different.
thinking that only one point of view is valid and the other irrational is not going to work. you have to meet people where they are, not where you think they should be.
i get the sense a woman who is displaying jealous behaviour and clinging to her son while disparaging his girlfriend isn't going to respond with "oh i'm so glad you told me. i didn't realise i was behaving in such a manner. you've given me a valuable lesson boots. i'm so very grateful that you have taken the time to set the record straight."click to expand
OP is hurt by her future MIL's comments and behaviour towards her, so obviously she found her comments and behaviour disrespectful. These are facts.
As long as OP is with her man, she will have to keep dealing with MIL one way or another. This is another fact.
So what do you suggest is a healthy approach to all this?
Would it be healthy for OP, her man and OP's relationship with her future MIL to pretend nothing happened, stay nice and in the meanwhile keep unexpressed/unreleased resentment towards MIL (which would likely result in passive-aggressive behaviour towards MIL for the time being..) TILL shit keeps piling up to the point OP explodes one day and really DOES insult MIL over a much smaller annoyance, and in the process making OP the villain of this story, MIL not knowing WTF just happened and where all that sudden resentment came from?
The above sounds like the textbook Libra approach to me. It's not healthy, neither for OP, nor for her future MIL, or her man.
I'd suggest the following instead: OP has a private conversation with MIL, she kindly lets her know how much her comments and behaviour hurt her (by doing this she would be releasing the resentment in a healthy manner). MIL may or may not like being confronted with it all. MIL will probably explain her side of things. OP may or may not agree but at least she will UNDERSTAND where MIL is coming from and MIL will KNOW what to expect in the future if she displays similar behaviour again. MIL will likely respect OP for her sincerity, integrity and dignity even if her mother instinct keeps telling her "nobody is good enough for her son"
AND probably the most important aspect: OP and MIL will likely have a tighter emotional bond after this episode. Which is what OP probably wants in the end, right?
In more simple terms, this is called just "clearing the air" between two people.
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanePosted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeane
i think being nice to her and extending an olive branch is the best thing to do for BOOTS.
holding on to vitriol - she's a bitch, she needs to be put in her place, she's unstable, she's a jealous monster - is not going to be good for anyone, especially boots.
being angry at one person makes her no better than a difficult mother in law.
what if they have children? is boots supposed to be mardy every time her mother in law sees her grandchildren? christmas? easter? birthdays?
at one point do you say, her issues are her issues and for the sake of my family, i am going to make the best of a less than ideal situation?
jesus, some of you just sound deeply unhappy with yourselves, life and the people in it.
ffs, chill out.
This post encapsulates perfectly why opposite signs NEED to learn from each other's strengths. Libra definitely can learn a thing or two from Aries direct approach.
Confronting someone does not mean to offend that person, it does not imply insulting, it means you are communicating who you are, which in this case, seeing that it's family..is crucial
yeah how someone should feel and react and how someone reacts in reality can be very different.
thinking that only one point of view is valid and the other irrational is not going to work. you have to meet people where they are, not where you think they should be.
i get the sense a woman who is displaying jealous behaviour and clinging to her son while disparaging his girlfriend isn't going to respond with "oh i'm so glad you told me. i didn't realise i was behaving in such a manner. you've given me a valuable lesson boots. i'm so very grateful that you have taken the time to set the record straight."
OP is hurt by her future MIL's comments and behaviour towards her, so obviously she found her comments and behaviour disrespectful. These are facts.
As long as OP is with her man, she will have to keep dealing with MIL one way or another. This is another fact.
So what do you suggest is a healthy approach to all this?
Would it be healthy for OP, her man and OP's relationship with her future MIL to pretend nothing happened, stay nice and in the meanwhile keep unexpressed/unreleased resentment towards MIL (which would likely result in passive-aggressive behaviour towards MIL for the time being..) TILL shit keeps piling up to the point OP explodes one day and really DOES insult MIL over a much smaller annoyance, and in the process making OP the villain of this story, MIL not knowing WTF just happened and where all that sudden resentment came from?
The above sounds like the textbook Libra approach to me. It's not healthy, neither for OP, nor for her future MIL, or her man.
I'd suggest the following instead: OP has a private conversation with MIL, she kindly lets her know how much her comments and behaviour hurt her (by doing this she would be releasing the resentment in a healthy manner). MIL may or may not like being confronted with it all. MIL will probably explain her side of things. OP may or may not agree but at least she will UNDERSTAND where MIL is coming from and MIL will KNOW what to expect in the future if she displays similar behaviour again. MIL will likely respect OP for her sincerity, integrity and dignity even if her mother instinct keeps telling her "nobody is good enough for her son"
AND probably the most important aspect: OP and MIL will likely have a tighter emotional bond after this episode. Which is what OP probably wants in the end, right?
In more simple terms, this is called just "clearing the air" between two people.
click to expand
You didn't read what I wrote did you?
Since we are stereotyping, typical aries response to react without thinking first.
Posted by jeanePosted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanePosted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeane
i think being nice to her and extending an olive branch is the best thing to do for BOOTS.
holding on to vitriol - she's a bitch, she needs to be put in her place, she's unstable, she's a jealous monster - is not going to be good for anyone, especially boots.
being angry at one person makes her no better than a difficult mother in law.
what if they have children? is boots supposed to be mardy every time her mother in law sees her grandchildren? christmas? easter? birthdays?
at one point do you say, her issues are her issues and for the sake of my family, i am going to make the best of a less than ideal situation?
jesus, some of you just sound deeply unhappy with yourselves, life and the people in it.
ffs, chill out.
This post encapsulates perfectly why opposite signs NEED to learn from each other's strengths. Libra definitely can learn a thing or two from Aries direct approach.
Confronting someone does not mean to offend that person, it does not imply insulting, it means you are communicating who you are, which in this case, seeing that it's family..is crucial
yeah how someone should feel and react and how someone reacts in reality can be very different.
thinking that only one point of view is valid and the other irrational is not going to work. you have to meet people where they are, not where you think they should be.
i get the sense a woman who is displaying jealous behaviour and clinging to her son while disparaging his girlfriend isn't going to respond with "oh i'm so glad you told me. i didn't realise i was behaving in such a manner. you've given me a valuable lesson boots. i'm so very grateful that you have taken the time to set the record straight."
OP is hurt by her future MIL's comments and behaviour towards her, so obviously she found her comments and behaviour disrespectful. These are facts.
As long as OP is with her man, she will have to keep dealing with MIL one way or another. This is another fact.
So what do you suggest is a healthy approach to all this?
Would it be healthy for OP, her man and OP's relationship with her future MIL to pretend nothing happened, stay nice and in the meanwhile keep unexpressed/unreleased resentment towards MIL (which would likely result in passive-aggressive behaviour towards MIL for the time being..) TILL shit keeps piling up to the point OP explodes one day and really DOES insult MIL over a much smaller annoyance, and in the process making OP the villain of this story, MIL not knowing WTF just happened and where all that sudden resentment came from?
The above sounds like the textbook Libra approach to me. It's not healthy, neither for OP, nor for her future MIL, or her man.
I'd suggest the following instead: OP has a private conversation with MIL, she kindly lets her know how much her comments and behaviour hurt her (by doing this she would be releasing the resentment in a healthy manner). MIL may or may not like being confronted with it all. MIL will probably explain her side of things. OP may or may not agree but at least she will UNDERSTAND where MIL is coming from and MIL will KNOW what to expect in the future if she displays similar behaviour again. MIL will likely respect OP for her sincerity, integrity and dignity even if her mother instinct keeps telling her "nobody is good enough for her son"
AND probably the most important aspect: OP and MIL will likely have a tighter emotional bond after this episode. Which is what OP probably wants in the end, right?
In more simple terms, this is called just "clearing the air" between two people.
You didn't read what I wrote did you?
Since we are stereotyping, typical aries response to react without thinking first.click to expand
Since I never said I was an Aries myself, I will not take this post personally or...seriously 😉
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanePosted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanePosted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeane
i think being nice to her and extending an olive branch is the best thing to do for BOOTS.
holding on to vitriol - she's a bitch, she needs to be put in her place, she's unstable, she's a jealous monster - is not going to be good for anyone, especially boots.
being angry at one person makes her no better than a difficult mother in law.
what if they have children? is boots supposed to be mardy every time her mother in law sees her grandchildren? christmas? easter? birthdays?
at one point do you say, her issues are her issues and for the sake of my family, i am going to make the best of a less than ideal situation?
jesus, some of you just sound deeply unhappy with yourselves, life and the people in it.
ffs, chill out.
This post encapsulates perfectly why opposite signs NEED to learn from each other's strengths. Libra definitely can learn a thing or two from Aries direct approach.
Confronting someone does not mean to offend that person, it does not imply insulting, it means you are communicating who you are, which in this case, seeing that it's family..is crucial
yeah how someone should feel and react and how someone reacts in reality can be very different.
thinking that only one point of view is valid and the other irrational is not going to work. you have to meet people where they are, not where you think they should be.
i get the sense a woman who is displaying jealous behaviour and clinging to her son while disparaging his girlfriend isn't going to respond with "oh i'm so glad you told me. i didn't realise i was behaving in such a manner. you've given me a valuable lesson boots. i'm so very grateful that you have taken the time to set the record straight."
OP is hurt by her future MIL's comments and behaviour towards her, so obviously she found her comments and behaviour disrespectful. These are facts.
As long as OP is with her man, she will have to keep dealing with MIL one way or another. This is another fact.
So what do you suggest is a healthy approach to all this?
Would it be healthy for OP, her man and OP's relationship with her future MIL to pretend nothing happened, stay nice and in the meanwhile keep unexpressed/unreleased resentment towards MIL (which would likely result in passive-aggressive behaviour towards MIL for the time being..) TILL shit keeps piling up to the point OP explodes one day and really DOES insult MIL over a much smaller annoyance, and in the process making OP the villain of this story, MIL not knowing WTF just happened and where all that sudden resentment came from?
The above sounds like the textbook Libra approach to me. It's not healthy, neither for OP, nor for her future MIL, or her man.
I'd suggest the following instead: OP has a private conversation with MIL, she kindly lets her know how much her comments and behaviour hurt her (by doing this she would be releasing the resentment in a healthy manner). MIL may or may not like being confronted with it all. MIL will probably explain her side of things. OP may or may not agree but at least she will UNDERSTAND where MIL is coming from and MIL will KNOW what to expect in the future if she displays similar behaviour again. MIL will likely respect OP for her sincerity, integrity and dignity even if her mother instinct keeps telling her "nobody is good enough for her son"
AND probably the most important aspect: OP and MIL will likely have a tighter emotional bond after this episode. Which is what OP probably wants in the end, right?
In more simple terms, this is called just "clearing the air" between two people.
You didn't read what I wrote did you?
Since we are stereotyping, typical aries response to react without thinking first.
Since I never said I was an Aries myself, I will not take this post personally or...seriously 😉click to expand
Aren't you a grounded Virgo, Boom? ♍️
Astrologically Taurus (OP and Bf) and Libra (Mother) are quincunx, this being a challenging aspect in as much as there are misunderstandings. It may take a lot of work and patience as this aspect often leaves us scratching our heads....I've dealt with my quincinx in Aries and Gemini and have been left thinking "what the hell"?
It may be a case of less is more?
Posted by Arielle83
You need to groom her.
Basically.
Flirt with her.
Offer to do dishes.
Don’t have opinions.
Think of it as a game.
To get in her will.
Why would she do this? Not having any opinions, and playing a game? Basically that is disempowering
Always be yourself....
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanePosted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanePosted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeane
i think being nice to her and extending an olive branch is the best thing to do for BOOTS.
holding on to vitriol - she's a bitch, she needs to be put in her place, she's unstable, she's a jealous monster - is not going to be good for anyone, especially boots.
being angry at one person makes her no better than a difficult mother in law.
what if they have children? is boots supposed to be mardy every time her mother in law sees her grandchildren? christmas? easter? birthdays?
at one point do you say, her issues are her issues and for the sake of my family, i am going to make the best of a less than ideal situation?
jesus, some of you just sound deeply unhappy with yourselves, life and the people in it.
ffs, chill out.
This post encapsulates perfectly why opposite signs NEED to learn from each other's strengths. Libra definitely can learn a thing or two from Aries direct approach.
Confronting someone does not mean to offend that person, it does not imply insulting, it means you are communicating who you are, which in this case, seeing that it's family..is crucial
yeah how someone should feel and react and how someone reacts in reality can be very different.
thinking that only one point of view is valid and the other irrational is not going to work. you have to meet people where they are, not where you think they should be.
i get the sense a woman who is displaying jealous behaviour and clinging to her son while disparaging his girlfriend isn't going to respond with "oh i'm so glad you told me. i didn't realise i was behaving in such a manner. you've given me a valuable lesson boots. i'm so very grateful that you have taken the time to set the record straight."
OP is hurt by her future MIL's comments and behaviour towards her, so obviously she found her comments and behaviour disrespectful. These are facts.
As long as OP is with her man, she will have to keep dealing with MIL one way or another. This is another fact.
So what do you suggest is a healthy approach to all this?
Would it be healthy for OP, her man and OP's relationship with her future MIL to pretend nothing happened, stay nice and in the meanwhile keep unexpressed/unreleased resentment towards MIL (which would likely result in passive-aggressive behaviour towards MIL for the time being..) TILL shit keeps piling up to the point OP explodes one day and really DOES insult MIL over a much smaller annoyance, and in the process making OP the villain of this story, MIL not knowing WTF just happened and where all that sudden resentment came from?
The above sounds like the textbook Libra approach to me. It's not healthy, neither for OP, nor for her future MIL, or her man.
I'd suggest the following instead: OP has a private conversation with MIL, she kindly lets her know how much her comments and behaviour hurt her (by doing this she would be releasing the resentment in a healthy manner). MIL may or may not like being confronted with it all. MIL will probably explain her side of things. OP may or may not agree but at least she will UNDERSTAND where MIL is coming from and MIL will KNOW what to expect in the future if she displays similar behaviour again. MIL will likely respect OP for her sincerity, integrity and dignity even if her mother instinct keeps telling her "nobody is good enough for her son"
AND probably the most important aspect: OP and MIL will likely have a tighter emotional bond after this episode. Which is what OP probably wants in the end, right?
In more simple terms, this is called just "clearing the air" between two people.
You didn't read what I wrote did you?
Since we are stereotyping, typical aries response to react without thinking first.
Since I never said I was an Aries myself, I will not take this post personally or...seriously 😉click to expand
Just like I take all of your posts too. Good chat.
Don‘t start nagging or commenting negative BUT tell him how the words of your MIL make you feel and how it‘s not nice to hear this and that. He should acknowledge it and „defend“ you
So what was the immediate outcome?
I mentioned it to my SO, o felt i had to because togther we have always been a united front and he is usually very understanding.
I approached him more about HIS behavior, not his mothers.
I asked if he could help me out by throwing in some kind words here and there to her about me, and if he sees me struggling , during interactions to try and throw me a life vest.
To my surprise his reaponse was positive and not hurt or offended in the least bit.
He did say his mom overall is a "great person" but she is "mean". Apparenelty they have all been vetted since they were young ao they are use to it. But her step cHildren and I get ro go through this "test" now.
(He literally called it a test). He apologized for her and he promised to help me with it.
He also said, which some one else mentioned. That a year to her is nothing. So she still needs to get to know me
He reassured me he loves me and we are fine and this will all work out in the end. ❤
I mentioned it to my SO, o felt i had to because togther we have always been a united front and he is usually very understanding.
I approached him more about HIS behavior, not his mothers.
I asked if he could help me out by throwing in some kind words here and there to her about me, and if he sees me struggling , during interactions to try and throw me a life vest.
To my surprise his reaponse was positive and not hurt or offended in the least bit.
He did say his mom overall is a "great person" but she is "mean". Apparenelty they have all been vetted since they were young ao they are use to it. But her step cHildren and I get ro go through this "test" now.
(He literally called it a test). He apologized for her and he promised to help me with it.
He also said, which some one else mentioned. That a year to her is nothing. So she still needs to get to know me
He reassured me he loves me and we are fine and this will all work out in the end. ❤
Try not to take it personally and kill her with kindness 😉
She needs to let her son be a man and make his own decisions. She seems like the opinionated one here. But try not to let it get to you if you can 🙂 xx
She needs to let her son be a man and make his own decisions. She seems like the opinionated one here. But try not to let it get to you if you can 🙂 xx
Posted by Boots1313
Has anybody ever had a conflict with their mother-in-law, or potential mother-in-law or significant others mother?
I' seem to be having a little bit of difficulty with my boyfriend's mom, which is new to me cuz I've never had Somebody's Mother not like me before.
My boyfriend and his mother are extremely close, and I've met her probably about a dozen times within the year that we've been dating. Recently my boyfriend told his mother that him and I are thinking of buying a house. So we've been looking, and seeking her guidance and assistance.
Last night at Easter dinner she had a couple of houses that she had saved to show us, first of all she didn't acknowledge that I would be involved in the house buying process she kept telling my boyfriend about "his" house. And if he goes in with somebody else, such as his sister it would be much easier for him financially.
Second thing is we were looking at a house at didn't have a dishwasher and my boyfriend had mentioned he prefers to have a dishwasher, and she said "oh is that because Gee isn't domesticated?" Right in front of me?!
Now I am very domesticated, I cook often I fold and wash my boyfriend's laundry which isn't even my responsibility cuz we don't live together but I do it just cuz I like to and help him out.
Somewhere along the lines I guess he mentioned that the one thing I despise doing his dishes which he does himself because he doesn't mind. There's been a few other backhanded compliments or backhanded thing she said about me. Such as me being "opinionated ".
I'm curious if this is just her being jealous that her son is getting close to a woman and considering settling down or if she actually doesn't like me.
Has anybody else have experiences like this? And how do i handle it with grace?
Posted by ScorpioDeeDee
When I was younger, my grandmother gave me a piece of advice given to her by her mother. She told me to "marry an orphan". I didn't truly understand until I got married!
My ex mother in law was living in another state and I didn't even meet her until my oldest son was four. It was during Ramadan and she was fasting. I really wanted to impress her so I made a fancy dinner complete with breads and rolls from scratch. I timed it perfectly for sundown. She showed up at my house with some dirty fish that was caught that day from the local dirty lake. She fried it in my kitchen, leaving me a huge mess and refused to eat my cooking. She was "in the mood" for fish!
We had it out over the years. I was American and Catholic (non practicing) and she wished for her sons' to be with a nice Muslim girl. She didn't fully appreciate me until she got her wish with her other son. That girl was a nightmare and barred her from their house and from seeing their child. Even after I divorced her son, she still calls and visits me. As awful as she was in the beginning, I never disrespected her and eventually she noticed that.
Your boyfriend's mother is having a hard time letting go. Just keep your cool. She will come around.
Thank you, for sharing your story .
My grandmother always said...time heals all.
This will just be an "in time" situation.
"Marry an orphan"
Genius
😆
Genius
😆
Posted by Arielle83Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by Arielle83
You need to groom her.
Basically.
Flirt with her.
Offer to do dishes.
Don’t have opinions.
Think of it as a game.
To get in her will.
Why would she do this? Not having any opinions, and playing a game? Basically that is disempowering
Always be yourself....
I’m being cheeky because the MIL sounds ridiculousclick to expand
She sure does.....
I'd say you'd give her a run for her money Arielle 😛
Posted by Phantom_LimboPosted by Boots1313
So what was the immediate outcome?
I mentioned it to my SO, o felt i had to because togther we have always been a united front and he is usually very understanding.
I approached him more about HIS behavior, not his mothers.
I asked if he could help me out by throwing in some kind words here and there to her about me, and if he sees me struggling , during interactions to try and throw me a life vest.
To my surprise his reaponse was positive and not hurt or offended in the least bit.
He did say his mom overall is a "great person" but she is "mean". Apparenelty they have all been vetted since they were young ao they are use to it. But her step cHildren and I get ro go through this "test" now.
(He literally called it a test). He apologized for her and he promised to help me with it.
He also said, which some one else mentioned. That a year to her is nothing. So she still needs to get to know me
He reassured me he loves me and we are fine and this will all work out in the end. ❤
That's so good to hear, not about her being difficult, but him knowing that about her, understanding, and putting you at ease. Having a difficult parent is hard. I think you're doing the right thing by helping each other with that instead of drawing a line in the sand. My husband sometimes needs my support to get through difficult interactions with one of his parents. I won't say which. 😉click to expand
Lol yes, overall i think its a good short term outcome. Only time will tell how to peoceed, but glad i have someone in my court if need be.
Thanks for your advice
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
First, let me just say i am a 'attached' person. attached in a way that if i open myself up to you just in general communication, that means that i put my trust in you to be who you present yourself to be. i do not like smalltalk, for i am a in depth pers
I'm a Cancer and my boyfriend is a Libra. Yes, we're not a good match according to astrology but we're still together. We have little arguments here and there but we keep getting back together all the time. It seems like we can't let go of each other.
It
I am currently really into someone who there is NO DOUBT in my mind has this. He says he's been questioned about it regularly and believes he probably has it as well.
He is an INSANE artist, uses repeat patterns in all his work. He remembers weird thing
I'm Virgo single for 11years official today.
But I had a online cancer boyfriend for 3 months then recently dump me for he says I'm complicated. I'm not so lucky!! :(
Erm yeah.
So everything is great between us.
My bf just so happens to be EXTREMELY good-looking.
I'd forgotten what we used to go through when we were younger and how annoying that was.
Sometimes, we're just minding our business and some girls just ca
How many of you do? Is it okay? Does it make your relationship more serious? ( not married people ) The pisces says if we are still together come August and both our leases are up he'd like to live together.
Mostly I think I'd be okay with it. Our dogs
Why do they do this??
Almost every man I've ever met idealized some woman who treated them badly. Ignored them, cheated on them, never had sex with them, was an alcoholic, couldn't commit. Is it the bad girl thing that just gets your motor running or what?
I mean they like w
Meaning until the day u die
Ladies and gentlemen.....thinking about your exes....
do you think they were they always assholes and you were just blind at the time?
or is it that they changed and they had no longer had the personality traits that you loved the most about them at the
Does it mean he likes you?
I guy I work with is in his forties & hes always sayin "my gf" this &that. Is referring to someone as gf/bf hella immature 2 u. Teens to early 20s is understandable. After those time periods the shit just looks pitiful
When are people gonna accept it's not realistic in the societal view?
About sex partners? Men or women? I think it's men....
He still comes to my house uninvited and pays my bills. Why would he do this if he wanted to break up??
So, Caps are often considered to be "too judgemental". Guilty. Whatever.
I know I'm not the only one evaluating a romantic prospect's home environment the first night I come over.
So, spill! What are the things you look at in someone's home when you'r
Do you agree or disagree, why or why? I'm all ears...
When talking to or dating someone, what do you call them?
Is there meaning behind it or do you just resort to pet names for everyone?
Now this could be applied to women too.
For example you sometimes see attractive female celebrities in relationships with not so attractive men.
But..
I've been noticing that when a man has been in a relationship with a rather attractive woman for a nu
How damaging are they? I'm not talking about cheating/romantic deceit, I'm referring to lesser, stupid things. It's like the more trivial the worse it seems because it's so unnecessary. Hmmm
Stay away from toxic people.....whoever they are