Sag898
@Sag898
7 Years1,000+ PostsSagittarius
Comments: 1997 · Posts: 3728 · Topics: 76
Expectations from a partner
Three years ago I would have had some outlandish stupid shit to say. Once you really comprehend and understand love without attachment, it changes everything. Expectations kill every thing.
I just want someone who has their shit together, is intelligent, can have stimulating conversation and I have a fun time with. I don’t care about the rest.
I just want someone who has their shit together, is intelligent, can have stimulating conversation and I have a fun time with. I don’t care about the rest.
Can I ask examples of what merging and loss of autonomy means to you?
But I'd expect to give and receive what you listed. Also that we both have shared and separate ambitions, drives and goals. Good communication and the desire to grow together.
But I'd expect to give and receive what you listed. Also that we both have shared and separate ambitions, drives and goals. Good communication and the desire to grow together.
Posted by FireStarter
Can I ask examples of what merging and loss of autonomy means to you?
But I'd expect to give and receive what you listed. Also that we both have shared and separate ambitions, drives and goals. Good communication and the desire to grow together.
Yeah I guess dependence. I have really depended on people before and It did nothing for me. Same with them. I don't really like the concept of sharing everything. Some things are just mine and mine ALONE lol. I grew up as a twin sharing everything perhaps it's that hahah
Posted by heliumfiasco
Three years ago I would have had some outlandish stupid shit to say. Once you really comprehend and understand love without attachment, it changes everything. Expectations kill every thing.
I just want someone who has their shit together, is intelligent, can have stimulating conversation and I have a fun time with. I don’t care about the rest.
I agree love isn't about attachment
Posted by Sagicorn
Great communication, understanding and respect. I want someone willing to explore the world with me but also to stay at home and do nothing and still have great time together. I need space to run away occasionaly, not literally but I need "me time". I can't survive without that. Simply need everyone to leave me alone to do my own thing and I'll be happy with them forever and more. And ofc physical attraction has to be there and sex has to be great.
MS 🙂
Posted by AneemA04
His expectation is respect.
Mine is material posessions.
Hahhahahahahhahahahhaa
😈
Screw affections and romance. We can act that.
Cheers!
I'm going dom-sub with him, btw. Grin
Respect is a big one
Posted by tiziani
Took some years but I've boiled it down to food, porn, mutual respect.
Wouldn't call them expectations but no doubt they help the time we spend together.
When do you feel like someone expects too much?
My expectations tend to change. Can you handle that? Cool, let’s see.
Posted by Sag898Posted by FireStarter
Can I ask examples of what merging and loss of autonomy means to you?
But I'd expect to give and receive what you listed. Also that we both have shared and separate ambitions, drives and goals. Good communication and the desire to grow together.
Yeah I guess dependence. I have really depended on people before and It did nothing for me. Same with them. I don't really like the concept of sharing everything. Some things are just mine and mine ALONE lol. I grew up as a twin sharing everything perhaps it's that hahahclick to expand
Ok I see. it's cool you have a twin though. I've never really depended on anyone besides my mother when I was young obviously, so I guess it's an opposite situation.
Maybe it's the water and earth in my chart but I wouldn't mind spending the vast majority of my free time with my partner but I do need time to be alone in my head, to self reflect. So long as I have that I'm good. At the same time I ofc want both of us to be independent. I know couples who spend so much time together when they have to be apart for a short while to do errands or such they get upset and have mild freak outs. That is a hell no for me lol
Posted by FireStarterPosted by Sag898Posted by FireStarter
Can I ask examples of what merging and loss of autonomy means to you?
But I'd expect to give and receive what you listed. Also that we both have shared and separate ambitions, drives and goals. Good communication and the desire to grow together.
Yeah I guess dependence. I have really depended on people before and It did nothing for me. Same with them. I don't really like the concept of sharing everything. Some things are just mine and mine ALONE lol. I grew up as a twin sharing everything perhaps it's that hahah
Ok I see. it's cool you have a twin though. I've never really depended on anyone besides my mother when I was young obviously, so I guess it's an opposite situation.
Maybe it's the water and earth in my chart but I wouldn't mind spending the vast majority of my free time with my partner but I do need time to be alone in my head, to self reflect. So long as I have that I'm good. At the same time I ofc want both of us to be independent. I know couples who spend so much time together when they have to be apart for a short while to do errands or such they get upset and have mild freak outs. That is a hell no for me lolclick to expand
It made a really competitive person actually lol. We aren't very close. So there is like this rivalry kind of.
Right. The last part is what I meant. That like you stick to me and I stick to you never works out in life. There has to be some individuality.
Posted by tizianiPosted by Sag898Posted by tiziani
Took some years but I've boiled it down to food, porn, mutual respect.
Wouldn't call them expectations but no doubt they help the time we spend together.
When do you feel like someone expects too much?
Hmmm the most recent ones I can remember were
- Picking fights over how I express myself on the internet. Similar to what you're saying, I consider that my space to get off my chest whatever I want. It's not something that I want to be brought into my relationship as if it should affect it in any way.
- Expecting me not to talk to people. Which is just putting control of the relationship in outsiders' hands. Arguing over stuff that is out of our control is not my thing.click to expand
Makes sense
Posted by LadyNeptune
My expectations tend to change. Can you handle that? Cool, let’s see.
Lol mine too
Posted by tiziani
Took some years but I've boiled it down to food, porn, mutual respect.
Wouldn't call them expectations but no doubt they help the time we spend together.
I can vouch
there are articles that say "expectations" are the major cause of relationships gone wrong
Posted by Antiochus
Respect and honesty is all I'd need/want.
Everything else usually ends up as work in progress in every relationship.
Sometimes you discover new side of yourself. At other time this relationships as a whole needs different things or a different balance then the ones you had before.
Etc.
this
Posted by pisceswoman123Posted by LadyNeptune
My expectations tend to change. Can you handle that? Cool, let’s see.
Lol mine tooclick to expand
Tis the mutable way 🤷♀️
Posted by AneemA04Posted by Sag898Posted by AneemA04
His expectation is respect.
Mine is material posessions.
Hahhahahahahhahahahhaa
😈
Screw affections and romance. We can act that.
Cheers!
I'm going dom-sub with him, btw. Grin
Respect is a big one
Okay, I'm sorry for being stupid and trolling previously.
To answer your question.
I myself do not initially set expectations before I know the other person better. Yes, there are effects from the partner's actions on me but I consider them not necessarily related to expectations. That's why I was hard on myself to start saying, "I'm disappointed.". I'd rather say, "I'm hurt".
So okay my point is, yes, tuning into your perspectives on boundaries, that's the thing. With me, boundaries are pretty much flexible unless the other person sets it otherwise. This is again, as I mentioned, to find your boundaries, you need to understand your being and I can't say I understand myself thoroughly (because there are still darker parts I'm still sniffing or staring about).
But best thing I can give about expectation goes so far (which is not far, technically speaking) is that I expect him to provide simply coz he has been mentioning it from time to time. so I take as he wants me to take.
Whereas for him tho (I mean, the current partner), he expects me to respect him, which is big indeed. So uh.... I'm still finding out more about him. Deeper, so I can understand his definition of respect.
As far as merging you mentioned, yeah it can be a real hassle. I inherently understand that an individual is not too keen on even just the slightest idea of merging because that requires a lot such as tolerance, understanding and one more, uh.. what's that word again.. I heard it often why can't I remember it now *sigh*.. that when you do something together in the middle ground.. ugh. why cant i say it, it's on the tip of my tongue!click to expand
Lol... I can’t pick up sarcasm on the internet. Also you tagged me in something saying I did something to someone that I don’t even remember. You throwing them waaaaay over my head sorrry
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I know this is a pretty broad question cause everyone is different.
For me personally, sex, physically affection, time and emotional support I can give.
Completely merging with another individual is not something I'm okay with.
I like keeping certain things to myself so I feel like I still have autonomy.
That's just my boundary. What about you guys?