Polyamory and sharing your partner/lover

Let's discuss

Any experienced ones around?

Used to be. Not so sure anymore.

*shrugs*

I'm attempting one atm, an Aries/Aquarius/Gemini w/m/w threeway. So far it's very fun

Not a hope in hell

dis no work for me

Posted by tiziani
The Gemini's going to own you!

The chick? Possibly. She's married and has like other 10 bfs though.

Speaking of which, we liked one of her "bf"s but I have no idea what sun sign he is. Italian stallion.

I'm not into it.

But I also have not experienced being in a partnership for a decade/s so who am I to judge how people spice up their marriages with an injection of new. It may be something I explore at some point...who knows.

Posted by Sagsagsags

Posted by Cancan26
dis no work for me

That's too nice ? If a bitch ever try to make me share my man, she's about to see a Sag with scorpio mars going ape shit!!!

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lol 😄 I get it ..Scorpio moon be like



and his only as well ...

Posted by tiziani

Posted by RamOfPeace

Posted by tiziani
The Gemini's going to own you!

The chick? Possibly. She's married and has like other 10 bfs though.

Was that the married couple at that one party where the husband was too full-on?

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Nah, we found this goth girl at a festival last weekend.

If a chick never wants to hear from me again, messing around with another guy would definitely do the trick.

I would be so bad at this.... all fun and games in the fantasy world but in reality, I would lose my shit and man it would be ugly for everyone involved and there might be some jail time afterwards ?

Posted by stopbeingdelusional

Posted by Ram416
Used to be. Not so sure anymore.

*shrugs*

what happened?

This happened.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Ram416
Used to be. Not so sure anymore.

*shrugs*

"Your needs are changing" - Rambunctious, 2015.

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Like @Arielle83, polyamory used to be a thing for me. I also think that I probably wouldn't be able to find a pairing more emotionally mature than the couple I was with, the Scorpio and Cancer. Swinging isn't my thing, neither are open relationships. It's either poly or mono.

A lot of people these days, I find, confuse swinging and open relationships with polyamory. I've met so many people who come to me talking about swinging, partner-swapping and the only thing that goes through my mind is, poly is more than just about sex. You could say I'm disillusioned by the whole thing.

I recently met a Virgo female who was polyamorous, and we were discussing boundaries and a possible potential relationship.But that one fell through eventually and we never even got to the first stage of developing a relationship with each other.

Nope nope nope nope. My Taurus moon and scorp mars might kill someone.

Posted by PV&Jellay

Posted by Feral_doe
Fantasy-wise, i like to entertain the thought. Realistically speaking, I'm not so sure.

I get visuals of being shared between two men, not the other way around. hypocritical, I know, but I don't care.

I doubt I would be able to go through with it. There would always be one I enjoy more and most probably would end up dropping the other.

Same. The fantasy of a threesome is great. Realistically, I'd never go through with it.

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Funnily enough, I was in 2 poly relationships (the Scorp/Cancer and later Aries/Taurus), but a threesome never happened with either one. The Cancer and Taurus male partners were more than happy to share their female partners with me, and never once tried to weasel in a threesome (OK so maybe the Taurus tried once, but the Aries quickly shut him down). I have to say my experiences with both couples was truly polyamorous in all sense of the word, to me. 50% of the time it wasn't sex-centric.

Posted by bubbythewhale1
I think I'm too randomly moody for all of that.

But it's crossed my mind

Yes the Virgo woman I was talking about in my earlier post has your sun, moon and Venus. The irony.

Posted by PV&Jellay

Posted by Ram416

Posted by PV&Jellay

Posted by Feral_doe
Fantasy-wise, i like to entertain the thought. Realistically speaking, I'm not so sure.

I get visuals of being shared between two men, not the other way around. hypocritical, I know, but I don't care.

I doubt I would be able to go through with it. There would always be one I enjoy more and most probably would end up dropping the other.

Same. The fantasy of a threesome is great. Realistically, I'd never go through with it.

Funnily enough, I was in 2 poly relationships (the Scorp/Cancer and later Aries/Taurus), but a threesome never happened with either one. The Cancer and Taurus male partners were more than happy to share their female partners with me, and never once tried to weasel in a threesome (OK so maybe the Taurus tried once, but the Aries quickly shut him down). I have to say my experiences with both couples was truly polyamorous in all sense of the word, to me. 50% of the time it wasn't sex-centric.

Interesting. Why was the Aries so against it? Weren't you all dating each other?

click to expand

Polyamory has different kinds of arrangements. V, triad and quad. (There are a few other arrangements but I can't remember what they are off the cuff).

In both cases, both my relationships were of the V variety - the pivot, 1 primary and 1 secondary. Both the Scorpio and Aries were pivots, Cancer and Taurus were primaries. With the Scorp and Cancer I had a closed V relationship i.e. both the Cancer and I were strictly poly with the Scorp and no one else.

With the Aries, both she and the Taurus had a closed V relationship, but I was allowed to have an open V with her.

So yes, I was dating both the Scorp and Cancer, but only dating the Aries.

It's mostly about negotiating boundaries really, and what you eventually agree upon.

Posted by bubbythewhale1

Posted by Ram416

Posted by bubbythewhale1
I think I'm too randomly moody for all of that.

But it's crossed my mind

Yes the Virgo woman I was talking about in my earlier post has your sun, moon and Venus. The irony.

Interesting... I think my Libra Venus would go crazy trying to make everyone happy lol

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It can be a hot mess, unless you know where your head is most of the time.

Posted by irreconcilabledifferences

Posted by Ram416

Posted by PV&Jellay

Posted by Ram416

Posted by PV&Jellay

Posted by Feral_doe
Fantasy-wise, i like to entertain the thought. Realistically speaking, I'm not so sure.

I get visuals of being shared between two men, not the other way around. hypocritical, I know, but I don't care.

I doubt I would be able to go through with it. There would always be one I enjoy more and most probably would end up dropping the other.

Same. The fantasy of a threesome is great. Realistically, I'd never go through with it.

Funnily enough, I was in 2 poly relationships (the Scorp/Cancer and later Aries/Taurus), but a threesome never happened with either one. The Cancer and Taurus male partners were more than happy to share their female partners with me, and never once tried to weasel in a threesome (OK so maybe the Taurus tried once, but the Aries quickly shut him down). I have to say my experiences with both couples was truly polyamorous in all sense of the word, to me. 50% of the time it wasn't sex-centric.

Interesting. Why was the Aries so against it? Weren't you all dating each other?

Polyamory has different kinds of arrangements. V, triad and quad. (There are a few other arrangements but I can't remember what they are off the cuff).

In both cases, both my relationships were of the V variety - the pivot, 1 primary and 1 secondary. Both the Scorpio and Aries were pivots, Cancer and Taurus were primaries. With the Scorp and Cancer I had a closed V relationship i.e. both the Cancer and I were strictly poly with the Scorp and no one else.

With the Aries, both she and the Taurus had a closed V relationship, but I was allowed to have an open V with her.

So yes, I was dating both the Scorp and Cancer, but only dating the Aries.

It's mostly about negotiating boundaries really, and what you eventually agree upon.

were they asians?

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The Scorpio and Cancer were Australian/Brazilian. I'm still friends with both of them today.

The Aries and Taurus are both Asian. I'm still friends with the Aries, but the Taurus has moved on.

Posted by irreconcilabledifferences

Posted by Ram416

Posted by irreconcilabledifferences

Posted by Ram416

Posted by PV&Jellay

Posted by Ram416

Posted by PV&Jellay

Posted by Feral_doe
Fantasy-wise, i like to entertain the thought. Realistically speaking, I'm not so sure.

I get visuals of being shared between two men, not the other way around. hypocritical, I know, but I don't care.

I doubt I would be able to go through with it. There would always be one I enjoy more and most probably would end up dropping the other.

Same. The fantasy of a threesome is great. Realistically, I'd never go through with it.

Funnily enough, I was in 2 poly relationships (the Scorp/Cancer and later Aries/Taurus), but a threesome never happened with either one. The Cancer and Taurus male partners were more than happy to share their female partners with me, and never once tried to weasel in a threesome (OK so maybe the Taurus tried once, but the Aries quickly shut him down). I have to say my experiences with both couples was truly polyamorous in all sense of the word, to me. 50% of the time it wasn't sex-centric.

Interesting. Why was the Aries so against it? Weren't you all dating each other?

Polyamory has different kinds of arrangements. V, triad and quad. (There are a few other arrangements but I can't remember what they are off the cuff).

In both cases, both my relationships were of the V variety - the pivot, 1 primary and 1 secondary. Both the Scorpio and Aries were pivots, Cancer and Taurus were primaries. With the Scorp and Cancer I had a closed V relationship i.e. both the Cancer and I were strictly poly with the Scorp and no one else.

With the Aries, both she and the Taurus had a closed V relationship, but I was allowed to have an open V with her.

So yes, I was dating both the Scorp and Cancer, but only dating the Aries.

It's mostly about negotiating boundaries really, and what you eventually agree upon.

were they asians?

The Scorpio and Cancer were Australian/Brazilian. I'm still friends with both of them today.

The Aries and Taurus are both Asian. I'm still friends with the Aries, but the Taurus has moved on.

i knew it you hang around enough white people= polyamory 😄

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?

Only 1 partner was white in my case lol.

No.

I do not have enough room in my heart to love multiple individuals fully so. It took years before I could even fully open areas of my heart that I had thought never existed to love one man fully so, to add another unto it would prove to be impossible.

Also, I am a Stinger what is mine, is mine, however that is not one sided, as much as he is mine, all that I am, I am his.

My deeply possessive streak (which I keep in check as it is internalised and not emitted outwardly so) will prevent me from even wishing to remotely stray or explore with a second partner.

Sharing my love or heart or his for that matter is not a possibility. I do not share.

I used to think there wasn't enough room in my heart for more than one, even when on two occasions in my life I have equally loved an ex and a current man I was with.

A couple of recent things have started to change my perspective quite drastically. Even the typical egoistical jealousy is being gradually dulled.

I should entirely thank the Aqua for that, by the way. Unexpectedly so.

Posted by UnusualVaginalDischarge

Posted by RamOfPeace
Speaking of which, we liked one of her "bf"s but I have no idea what sun sign he is. Italian stallion.

Where do you meet these ppl? Where did she meet all these ppl?

How did you end up in this situation?

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Why do you care? Who are you?

Posted by tiziani

Posted by RamOfPeace
I used to think there wasn't enough room in my heart for more than one, even when on two occasions in my life I have equally loved an ex and a current man I was with.

A couple of recent things have started to change my perspective quite drastically. Even the typical egoistical jealousy is being gradually dulled.

Is that a good thing or to be seen?

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It's definitely good, because I find my past encounters with romantic jealousy to be debilitating to myself in the first place. Not others.

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll

Posted by TaurusinTexas
I would be so bad at this.... all fun and games in the fantasy world but in reality, I would lose my shit and man it would be ugly for everyone involved and there might be some jail time afterwards ?

I can see your Scorpio moon, Cancer Mars going on a rampage! —

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I have the same placements as her. Plus I'm Taurus/Scorpio dominant. 😛

Posted by tiziani

Posted by RamOfPeace

Posted by tiziani

Posted by RamOfPeace
I used to think there wasn't enough room in my heart for more than one, even when on two occasions in my life I have equally loved an ex and a current man I was with.

A couple of recent things have started to change my perspective quite drastically. Even the typical egoistical jealousy is being gradually dulled.

Is that a good thing or to be seen?

It's definitely good, because I find my past encounters with romantic jealousy to be debilitating to myself in the first place. Not others.

All right. Well I'm excited for you.

click to expand

So am I. My mantra is always for journey over destination. This will be interesting and exciting!

If I know myself right, sharing emotional intimacy with two or more people as oppose to just 'the one' would ultimately leave me feeling very lonely

I wouldn't openly share my past GF's but we'd both agree to openly date others while dating each other sure. Though this saturated the love a bit and made it more difficult to really know just how invested they really were so over time I started to dislike polyamory. I can do it, if I know it's not something serious, but if it's supposed to be a serious relationship, I can't commit to it.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll

Posted by Ram416

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll

Posted by TaurusinTexas
I would be so bad at this.... all fun and games in the fantasy world but in reality, I would lose my shit and man it would be ugly for everyone involved and there might be some jail time afterwards ?

I can see your Scorpio moon, Cancer Mars going on a rampage! —

I have the same placements as her. Plus I'm Taurus/Scorpio dominant. 😛

I guess it goes to show how astrology isn't all that it's cracked up to be or how complicated and nuanced it is. I'm not sure which one.

In swinging it's always been Scorpio/Taurus axis as my best committed partners.

To me I figured after a while it actually makes sense depending on the arrangement, since these signs demand total focus from their partner. If they're placed in a position where they command the attention of the setup and don't have to divide their own attention or affections for long, like @Feral_doe said, they can actually experience the type of devotion from their partners that the axis craves.

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@tiziani I have a question for you. As a Gemini moon, what's your take on the role air placements play when it comes to polyamory/swinging/open relationships?

I ask because my experience with past partners is limited to Aqua and Libra (coincidence? I think not. Both pairings had Aqua moon/Libra moon - the women with Aqua, the men with Libra).

@Feral_doe that scenario is just your mutable placements unsure of how things are supposed to play out? I think...

I'm deliberately not posting the rest of our 3 charts on here. But to all concerned, Scorpio moon is no challenge to overcome own stuck up jealousy streaks.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Ram416
As a Gemini moon, what's your take on the role air placements play when it comes to polyamory/swinging/open relationships?

I ask because my experience with past partners is limited to Aqua and Libra (coincidence? I think not. Both pairings had Aqua moon/Libra moon - the women with Aqua, the men with Libra).

I'm wondering if you've met more people in this realm that tell you they get off to fantasy sex more than any other kind?

A lot of people I've met say they - whether they really enjoy physical sex or only moderately enjoy it - they've usually experienced greater heights of pleasure alone, just dancing, or in the foreplay and buildup.

The fantasy of being with someone brings better climax than actually being with them physically, even in the cases where they consider both to be great with the same partner.

Like the Perel quote we both saw a while back: "The kiss that you only imagine giving, can be as powerful and as enchanting as hours of actual lovemaking. It's our imagination that is responsible for love, not the other person."



Air Moons have to push themselves to be in the moment, so that probably pushes them to make distinctions between thoughts that come from different parts of the mind.

-

The Taurus (an Air Moon herself) told me this, even though she was talking with me about women, it could apply to both women and men:

"For women i meet and talk to daily - friends, acquaintances, coworkers - women i get to hear and listen, observe, women who were never a part of a first degree sexual environment, there's a constant war between beliefs, morality and primitive reproductive thinking.

These are two different brain functions that are almost never active at the same time.

Every woman has these separate thoughts - the upper and the lower brain controls them. Whenever I hear or listen to a woman saying they are not a slut ordon't have this internal urge of breaking free or "I'm just not into casual sex, i have standards" it makes me laugh.

You don't have to be "into" casual sex to be a slut, you are biologically a primitive creature, you just choose not to develop it. That choice is to be respected. But these words shouldn't be used as an insult, just for self-awareness "

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Damn, now I need to meet your Taurus lmao.

Posted by RamOfPeace
Scorpio moon is no challenge to overcome own stuck up jealousy streaks.

It's not, I agree.

Posted by Feral_doe

Posted by Ram416
@Feral_doe that scenario is just your mutable placements unsure of how things are supposed to play out? I think...

That's very true. I would have absolutely no idea of how the dynamics work and I would expect them to have a game plan.

My taurus sun wants to see a powerpoint presentation with schedules and diagrams, preferably a couple of animated tutorials lol

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Lol. Dezeen!

You're looking at it one way, and I'm scratching my chin wondering wtf is up with you lmao.

Posted by tiziani
@Ram416 Have you found it's the same though? The people who experience polyamory and something close to it that you've met, do they love the mental side more than the physical side?

For the polyamorous ones, I found that attraction was mostly mental rather than physical. We somehow always managed to make the connection between mental and physical though (with the Scorp and Cancer), not so much with the Aries and Taurus. It was the same in my open relationship with the other Scorp (also Aqua moon). The mental side was always more in play than the physical side.

The swingers I've met over here (no offence to you or the Taurus) it was always about the physical aspects, which was an instant turn off for me.

Bump!

So I've had some jealousy pangs over the election time, and working through with open communication has helped bunches. Overall, hanging around poly people, I find them to be more open and willing to communicate rather than monogamy individuals.

Posted by tiziani
I've met poly people who can be very pretentious, close-minded and even too willing to drag others into their whole dynamic as a substitute for communicating on a level with each other. I used to think there was a link to the life style but I see it more as luck of the draw now, with people of any sexual life style .

We're interacting with a party of people like that at the moment, but the amount of drama far overweights any chance at going for the kill.. though all 3 of us have been invited on more than one occasion. Fuck that notion

Posted by RamOfPeace

Posted by tiziani
I've met poly people who can be very pretentious, close-minded and even too willing to drag others into their whole dynamic as a substitute for communicating on a level with each other. I used to think there was a link to the life style but I see it more as luck of the draw now, with people of any sexual life style .

We're interacting with a party of people like that at the moment, but the amount of drama far overweights any chance at going for the kill.. though all 3 of us have been invited on more than one occasion. Fuck that notion

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Yeah....scrap it and move on. I'm sure there are other groups.

Posted by Ram416

Posted by RamOfPeace

Posted by tiziani
I've met poly people who can be very pretentious, close-minded and even too willing to drag others into their whole dynamic as a substitute for communicating on a level with each other. I used to think there was a link to the life style but I see it more as luck of the draw now, with people of any sexual life style .

We're interacting with a party of people like that at the moment, but the amount of drama far overweights any chance at going for the kill.. though all 3 of us have been invited on more than one occasion. Fuck that notion

Yeah....scrap it and move on. I'm sure there are other groups.

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Oh no, that group of friends is perfectly fine as acquaintainces. We'll just probably never jump into the fray solwly for that drama reason that's all lol.