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@earlorg16
9 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 130 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 39
tempted to get back with ex who cheated
Depends on why she cheated
Trainwreck.........
How old was she when she cheated?
Sometimes when your young and inexperienced in relationships it’s sometimes more understandable. But loyalty is #1 to me so I prolly wouldn’t go back.
Sometimes when your young and inexperienced in relationships it’s sometimes more understandable. But loyalty is #1 to me so I prolly wouldn’t go back.
If you do I hope you don't get hurt again
I’m gonna provide context on why she cheated.
Firstly, she was 21 and I was 24 at the time. To get into a grad school program she coveted, she had to intern as an assistant in her field for a semester. There were two programs, one closer to home and one closer to me that she was accepted to.
She’s got some strict parents, if you’re asian, you know what I’m talking about. Anyway, without going too deep into details, her parents hated my guts even though we were together for four years. They hated me over a really petty letter that I wrote to her back after our first date.
We started off in a long distance relationship because of college. Then as the years progressed, i moved back closer and got fed up with her parents essentially doing everything they could to keep her away from me. Her folks insisted that she go to the program near home, whereas I insisted it was my ex’s decision to make. She didn’t like to piss her parents off so she picked the location closer to home. They essentially threatened to kick her out if she picked the one by me.
This program was 6 days a week. It made our relationship rockier even though we knew this thing was temporary. Her parents were still upset with her decision to be with me on her days off and her friends were all away for college. I’d make efforts to see her but her parents really weren’t cool about it.
So she had no one to vent to besides me and got pretty depressed, especially if I wasn’t around. I was frustrated with the lack of seeing her too. Her boss at work picked up on her behavior and started comforting her. He drove her home one day and met her parents, after that, her parents would push her towards this guy praising his character since he’s a professional. I was clearly upset about this from her parents and had a hard time seeing them when I’d go over there.
We saw each other less and less with her parents not allowing her to visit me as often, and her boss was the only person around for her besides her family and I at the time, and he made a move on her. The rest is history and I found out they had been fooling around for a few months. So I visited her job, met the bastard who had no idea who I was, and it turned out she didn’t tell him about me either. So we both said f this and left it at that but eventually we both wanted to be to be with her still.
She regretted everything and told me she wanted to be with me instead. So we tried to date for two years but I couldn’t get over it. But we ended up friends and I forgave her for all of that. Anyway I’m over it since she was so young and her parents love me now so it’s like, I don’t know what to do.
Firstly, she was 21 and I was 24 at the time. To get into a grad school program she coveted, she had to intern as an assistant in her field for a semester. There were two programs, one closer to home and one closer to me that she was accepted to.
She’s got some strict parents, if you’re asian, you know what I’m talking about. Anyway, without going too deep into details, her parents hated my guts even though we were together for four years. They hated me over a really petty letter that I wrote to her back after our first date.
We started off in a long distance relationship because of college. Then as the years progressed, i moved back closer and got fed up with her parents essentially doing everything they could to keep her away from me. Her folks insisted that she go to the program near home, whereas I insisted it was my ex’s decision to make. She didn’t like to piss her parents off so she picked the location closer to home. They essentially threatened to kick her out if she picked the one by me.
This program was 6 days a week. It made our relationship rockier even though we knew this thing was temporary. Her parents were still upset with her decision to be with me on her days off and her friends were all away for college. I’d make efforts to see her but her parents really weren’t cool about it.
So she had no one to vent to besides me and got pretty depressed, especially if I wasn’t around. I was frustrated with the lack of seeing her too. Her boss at work picked up on her behavior and started comforting her. He drove her home one day and met her parents, after that, her parents would push her towards this guy praising his character since he’s a professional. I was clearly upset about this from her parents and had a hard time seeing them when I’d go over there.
We saw each other less and less with her parents not allowing her to visit me as often, and her boss was the only person around for her besides her family and I at the time, and he made a move on her. The rest is history and I found out they had been fooling around for a few months. So I visited her job, met the bastard who had no idea who I was, and it turned out she didn’t tell him about me either. So we both said f this and left it at that but eventually we both wanted to be to be with her still.
She regretted everything and told me she wanted to be with me instead. So we tried to date for two years but I couldn’t get over it. But we ended up friends and I forgave her for all of that. Anyway I’m over it since she was so young and her parents love me now so it’s like, I don’t know what to do.
Please return your moon to the front desk
We will exchange it for a water moon
We will exchange it for a water moon
Lol just like Asian parents to sell their daughter to the most successful bidder, materially speaking
There are definitely rules about exes....
Is she a femme?
If so,
Rule number 1:
NEVER TAKE BACK A WOMAN THAT HAS LEFT YOU OR CHEATED ON YOU..
This doesn't make her respect you. She will subconsciously not respect you..
Is she a femme?
If so,
Rule number 1:
NEVER TAKE BACK A WOMAN THAT HAS LEFT YOU OR CHEATED ON YOU..
This doesn't make her respect you. She will subconsciously not respect you..
Posted by MademoiselleFiskPosted by enfant_terrible
Lol just like Asian parents to sell their daughter to the most successful bidder, materially speaking
When you meet an Asian chick do you ask her how much dowry she has and if she ever worked the rice paddies, or are you just trying to be edgy with that ignorant shitty ass comment?click to expand
Nah just an experiment to see how long before someone notices racism against Asians. 2 hours. That's long for a weekday.
Posted by greylaternPosted by earlorg16
I’m gonna provide context on why she cheated.
Firstly, she was 21 and I was 24 at the time. To get into a grad school program she coveted, she had to intern as an assistant in her field for a semester. There were two programs, one closer to home and one closer to me that she was accepted to.
She’s got some strict parents, if you’re asian, you know what I’m talking about. Anyway, without going too deep into details, her parents hated my guts even though we were together for four years. They hated me over a really petty letter that I wrote to her back after our first date.
We started off in a long distance relationship because of college. Then as the years progressed, i moved back closer and got fed up with her parents essentially doing everything they could to keep her away from me. Her folks insisted that she go to the program near home, whereas I insisted it was my ex’s decision to make. She didn’t like to piss her parents off so she picked the location closer to home. They essentially threatened to kick her out if she picked the one by me.
This program was 6 days a week. It made our relationship rockier even though we knew this thing was temporary. Her parents were still upset with her decision to be with me on her days off and her friends were all away for college. I’d make efforts to see her but her parents really weren’t cool about it.
So she had no one to vent to besides me and got pretty depressed, especially if I wasn’t around. I was frustrated with the lack of seeing her too. Her boss at work picked up on her behavior and started comforting her. He drove her home one day and met her parents, after that, her parents would push her towards this guy praising his character since he’s a professional. I was clearly upset about this from her parents and had a hard time seeing them when I’d go over there.
We saw each other less and less with her parents not allowing her to visit me as often, and her boss was the only person around for her besides her family and I at the time, and he made a move on her. The rest is history and I found out they had been fooling around for a few months. So I visited her job, met the bastard who had no idea who I was, and it turned out she didn’t tell him about me either. So we both said f this and left it at that but eventually we both wanted to be to be with her still.
She regretted everything and told me she wanted to be with me instead. So we tried to date for two years but I couldn’t get over it. But we ended up friends and I forgave her for all of that. Anyway I’m over it since she was so young and her parents love me now so it’s like, I don’t know what to do.
So you both understand what went wrong. If she isn't under her parent's thumb then go for it.
What does bother me is it sounds like your just trying again because you are having little to no luck. Then the description of your relationship history is a red flag man.why are you attracting these kind of prospects? Is it just abundant in your social cycle?click to expand
Valid points. She's not under her parents thumb anymore and has become way more independent. She's working now and at this point, we're both full grown adults with jobs that we both thoroughly enjoy that take care of us.
To your last point, it's weird. I've had luck here and there within that 3-4 year window, with less than or about a handful of people in particular. But through those tries, it seemed like there was always some obstacle that halted the progress of said relationships. Whether it be distance, career choices, drugs, etc, everyone had something come up that made it not work out for us. And how I met these people are either through friends, online, random encounters, etc. I don't think it's that out of the ordinary. My buddies tell me I seem to attract troubled women. Thing is, my ex really wasn't troubled when we met...
I wouldn't want to get back with my ex if I felt like she was essentially just someone I wanted to just settle with you know? That wouldn't be fair to either of us. Truth be told, we've been seeing each other more lately because she comes out to the city more often to hang with our friends, and it's beautiful to witness how grown up she's become. When we talk to one another, it feels like the past again but with a ton more maturity. If anything, these 3-4 years, has made me appreciate her more. It's almost like that time and space that we both gave each other after we broke up helped bring us closer together? I don't know. My family and friends, have all told me in the past after she cheated, that I should leave her, which I did. They see us now, and they tell me, that she's the one for me and that if I forgave her, I should give her another shot. It's all so confusing!
Posted by Impulsv
So basically your doing it because you haven’t found someone better or think you won’t.
Have faith someone with integrity will come up.
They exist good women
Good women most certainly exist. I've had the pleasure of dating some within that window of separation, it's just that timing is everything unfortunately in this world and the timing of certain aspects didn't work out with those relationships. Sort of a wrong place at the wrong time. It's odd, I could continue to be single and try dating new women, but part of me doesn't really want to. I'm in a good place atm.
Posted by Emhendo
There are definitely rules about exes....
Is she a femme?
If so,
Rule number 1:
NEVER TAKE BACK A WOMAN THAT HAS LEFT YOU OR CHEATED ON YOU..
This doesn't make her respect you. She will subconsciously not respect you..
Lol def not a femme.
It does sound confusing, but you must do this or else it will never be settled within you. Go in with an open mind and a guarded heart. Find out what you need to find out and then you will have your answer in order to move forward with the rest of your life. You only have one. Live it as you choose, guided by your head as well as your heart.
Posted by tctaap
It does sound confusing, but you must do this or else it will never be settled within you. Go in with an open mind and a guarded heart. Find out what you need to find out and then you will have your answer in order to move forward with the rest of your life. You only have one. Live it as you choose, guided by your head as well as your heart.
You're right. Thanks for the feedback!
Honestly I'd say no because of the risk
If she cheats on you, what makes you think she won't cheat on you again?
If she cheats on you, what makes you think she won't cheat on you again?
Venus retrograde......
But you do you... whatever makes you happy. Fuck everyone else!!
But you do you... whatever makes you happy. Fuck everyone else!!
Posted by SuninLibraPosted by earlorg16
We've been separated for well over four years at this point and she cheated on me over 6 years ago.
I've had my share of fun and dates, and quite frankly, she has come across as the most honest and sane person I've come across still. Yes she's cheated, but at the same time, she hasn't really fooled around as much as I have. For the first 2 years of being single, I was whoring the hell out. Almost too much. The last two years, I've calmed down a lot and have been approached or have approached different women, all of whom seem to be so troubled, to the point where they victimize themselves until they make themselves totally unapproachable. It's the same reoccurring theme with the women I meet or have come across.
My ex however hasn't nagged me or anything, we pass one another by since we're in the same circles. We chat here and there, and maintain our friendship because we don't want to make it awkward for our friends. She's apologized countless times already in the past, and I told her I forgave her but needed some space to myself to sort things out. And I think I have gotten there. Most folks here from what I've seen are against getting back with someone who cheated. I've been told I'm extremely forgiving but that's just my nature. There's way too much crap to worry about that is larger than our egos.
Would it be weird to get back with her? She wants it, as she's expressed to me recently. I want to give it another shot but it seems unconventional to do that, though it feels right to me to.
What are her placements anyways? Just curiousclick to expand
Aries Sun, Aqua Moon, Cap Rising, Pisces Venus. Not sure about the rest.
Posted by LostinmyMind11
Venus retrograde......
But you do you... whatever makes you happy. Fuck everyone else!!
Ehh I've been kinda feeling this way well before venus retrograde. But I do agree with with your last statement! 🙂
Posted by EtherealTraveler
Honestly I'd say no because of the risk
If she cheats on you, what makes you think she won't cheat on you again?
I don't buy the once a cheater always a cheater motto. When we gave it a second go, she didn't cheat, it was more me not getting over what happened which is why I ended it.
Posted by LadyNeptune
How old was she when she cheated?
Sometimes when your young and inexperienced in relationships it’s sometimes more understandable. But loyalty is #1 to me so I prolly wouldn’t go back.
She was 21
Posted by SkeletonPosted by tctaap
It does sound confusing, but you must do this or else it will never be settled within you. Go in with an open mind and a guarded heart. Find out what you need to find out and then you will have your answer in order to move forward with the rest of your life. You only have one. Live it as you choose, guided by your head as well as your heart.
Ditto!
Fuck everyone else who said no don't do it.
Ofcourse its a risk but I agree with this one here.
Also lol you got venus retrograde effect now. So be careful.click to expand
Ima wait til it's over if I do decide to go back LOL. For now I'm taking my sweet time to feel out the situation.
Posted by earlorg16Posted by EtherealTraveler
Honestly I'd say no because of the risk
If she cheats on you, what makes you think she won't cheat on you again?
I don't buy the once a cheater always a cheater motto. When we gave it a second go, she didn't cheat, it was more me not getting over what happened which is why I ended it.click to expand
Cheating is addictive and can be addictive to people because of the whole "initial lust period of time"
Take this from a Sag Venus and someone with tons of Pisces influences
As some additional points to this situation:
When I read your first couple of posts, it didn't seem you had much of a relationship in the first place. As it was long distance for a long period of time, with just one day a week, I don't think it would be the same 'quality' as spending two or four years of actually being together. I don't know if you knew much of each other before but the point is, seeing each other one day a week and then texting/calling for the rest goes some way to building a relationship but it's not really a 'real' relationship. Certainly not one you'd want for yourself now. Therefore, on this basis I'd swing more towards giving it a go.
You made a comment about other women you've dated seemed to have troubles but this girl didn't. I'd disagree with that. At 21 or whatever her age was then, she did have troubles. Her troubles were strict, restrictive, overbearing parents who were not keen on you and who wanted influence over their daughters life. That's quite a trouble for her. It's just a different type of trouble that didn't make it on your list. I'd be interested to know if that's still the case with the parents. You mentioned they like you now. What's happened here for this yo be the case?
I do think the cheating is a big issue. Focusing on her age and even the situation she was in is somehow making it easier to 'forgive' but it seems more a case of turning a blind eye because she was 'young' rather than a case of actually forgiving. Instead of it being a question of age, I think it's more a question of her morals. I'm not saying that life experience isn't a factor but how much good quality life experience has passed since then? A few years, ten, 20? If she was now mid 30's, had a few relationships under her belt with a good, proven track record, and was now considering settling down etc then I'd think there would be more to go on. How old is she now? Has she had relationships since? How has she been with these? At 21 or mid 20's, how ever old she was back then, is still old enough to know right from wrong. She knew she was supposed to be with you. She chose you. She went with someone else. Plus with the encouragement of her parents. She got caught out. You either have good morals. Or you don't. She's either spent her youth garnering good morals, or she hasn't and they're still a bit loose. Again, age, maturity plays a part but it's her morals I'd question. To a taurus, having a partner who possesses good, solid morals is important.
When I read your first couple of posts, it didn't seem you had much of a relationship in the first place. As it was long distance for a long period of time, with just one day a week, I don't think it would be the same 'quality' as spending two or four years of actually being together. I don't know if you knew much of each other before but the point is, seeing each other one day a week and then texting/calling for the rest goes some way to building a relationship but it's not really a 'real' relationship. Certainly not one you'd want for yourself now. Therefore, on this basis I'd swing more towards giving it a go.
You made a comment about other women you've dated seemed to have troubles but this girl didn't. I'd disagree with that. At 21 or whatever her age was then, she did have troubles. Her troubles were strict, restrictive, overbearing parents who were not keen on you and who wanted influence over their daughters life. That's quite a trouble for her. It's just a different type of trouble that didn't make it on your list. I'd be interested to know if that's still the case with the parents. You mentioned they like you now. What's happened here for this yo be the case?
I do think the cheating is a big issue. Focusing on her age and even the situation she was in is somehow making it easier to 'forgive' but it seems more a case of turning a blind eye because she was 'young' rather than a case of actually forgiving. Instead of it being a question of age, I think it's more a question of her morals. I'm not saying that life experience isn't a factor but how much good quality life experience has passed since then? A few years, ten, 20? If she was now mid 30's, had a few relationships under her belt with a good, proven track record, and was now considering settling down etc then I'd think there would be more to go on. How old is she now? Has she had relationships since? How has she been with these? At 21 or mid 20's, how ever old she was back then, is still old enough to know right from wrong. She knew she was supposed to be with you. She chose you. She went with someone else. Plus with the encouragement of her parents. She got caught out. You either have good morals. Or you don't. She's either spent her youth garnering good morals, or she hasn't and they're still a bit loose. Again, age, maturity plays a part but it's her morals I'd question. To a taurus, having a partner who possesses good, solid morals is important.
I'd also add, I think you need to do more homework first. To a taurus, that's just more sitting and thinking so you'll be OK with that, ha ha.
I'd also question yourself to see what exactly you are looking for right now in life. Not from her but in general. Be clear with what you want and what you can offer. Do you really want to settle down? Are you in a good place? Why do you want to settle down or have a long term relationship? Is it because she says she wants a relationship? If she wasn't around in the picture, what do you think you'd want?
I'd also question yourself to see what exactly you are looking for right now in life. Not from her but in general. Be clear with what you want and what you can offer. Do you really want to settle down? Are you in a good place? Why do you want to settle down or have a long term relationship? Is it because she says she wants a relationship? If she wasn't around in the picture, what do you think you'd want?
Posted by AgentP911
As some additional points to this situation:
When I read your first couple of posts, it didn't seem you had much of a relationship in the first place. As it was long distance for a long period of time, with just one day a week, I don't think it would be the same 'quality' as spending two or four years of actually being together. I don't know if you knew much of each other before but the point is, seeing each other one day a week and then texting/calling for the rest goes some way to building a relationship but it's not really a 'real' relationship. Certainly not one you'd want for yourself now. Therefore, on this basis I'd swing more towards giving it a go.
You made a comment about other women you've dated seemed to have troubles but this girl didn't. I'd disagree with that. At 21 or whatever her age was then, she did have troubles. Her troubles were strict, restrictive, overbearing parents who were not keen on you and who wanted influence over their daughters life. That's quite a trouble for her. It's just a different type of trouble that didn't make it on your list. I'd be interested to know if that's still the case with the parents. You mentioned they like you now. What's happened here for this yo be the case?
I do think the cheating is a big issue. Focusing on her age and even the situation she was in is somehow making it easier to 'forgive' but it seems more a case of turning a blind eye because she was 'young' rather than a case of actually forgiving. Instead of it being a question of age, I think it's more a question of her morals. I'm not saying that life experience isn't a factor but how much good quality life experience has passed since then? A few years, ten, 20? If she was now mid 30's, had a few relationships under her belt with a good, proven track record, and was now considering settling down etc then I'd think there would be more to go on. How old is she now? Has she had relationships since? How has she been with these? At 21 or mid 20's, how ever old she was back then, is still old enough to know right from wrong. She knew she was supposed to be with you. She chose you. She went with someone else. Plus with the encouragement of her parents. She got caught out. You either have good morals. Or you don't. She's either spent her youth garnering good morals, or she hasn't and they're still a bit loose. Again, age, maturity plays a part but it's her morals I'd question. To a taurus, having a partner who possesses good, solid morals is important.
Thanks for the reply.
It was long distance for the first year only, but after that I moved back home and we started seeing each other more than once a week. Even so, it still felt like a LDR, at one point post cheating, we did live together for about a year.
I agree that her parents were a huge restriction. It wasn't until after the cheating that they realized how much I cared for her. At the time she was taking care of her dying grandfather, and her folks had no idea that I was there with her the entire time taking care of him since she wasn't really able to handle it. So her grandpa really liked me and told her folks that I was his main caretaker. Also, I confronted her parents at one point about the disrespect and lack of morals they had for both me and their daughter. Her dad straight up told me that he can't believe I still want his daughter after what happened, but that it shows character. Anyway, point is they love me now.
It's been about six years since she cheated at this point. She's dated around during that time frame as have I when we broke up. Once again, I know she screwed up and so has she, and I simply don't agree with the once a cheater always a cheater motto. I like to address each person individually and go from there.
Posted by halalbaePosted by earlorg16Posted by SkeletonPosted by tctaap
It does sound confusing, but you must do this or else it will never be settled within you. Go in with an open mind and a guarded heart. Find out what you need to find out and then you will have your answer in order to move forward with the rest of your life. You only have one. Live it as you choose, guided by your head as well as your heart.
Ditto!
Fuck everyone else who said no don't do it.
Ofcourse its a risk but I agree with this one here.
Also lol you got venus retrograde effect now. So be careful.
Ima wait til it's over if I do decide to go back LOL. For now I'm taking my sweet time to feel out the situation.
Noooo! Depending on your transits, this rx is the perfect time to let someone know how you REALLY feel about them! Its in Scorpio, so it will feel like an all consuming passion if you open up to them. Just hold off on talking about commitment until the rx is overclick to expand
Hah interesting... We've opened up about all sorts of stuff during this time frame. I'll wait til rx is over and see how I feel. For now, I'm in a good place and don't want to rush anything. I want to be sure about myself, most importantly, before anything.
Posted by earlorg16
We've been separated for well over four years at this point and she cheated on me over 6 years ago.
I've had my share of fun and dates, and quite frankly, she has come across as the most honest and sane person I've come across still. Yes she's cheated, but at the same time, she hasn't really fooled around as much as I have. For the first 2 years of being single, I was whoring the hell out. Almost too much. The last two years, I've calmed down a lot and have been approached or have approached different women, all of whom seem to be so troubled, to the point where they victimize themselves until they make themselves totally unapproachable. It's the same reoccurring theme with the women I meet or have come across.
My ex however hasn't nagged me or anything, we pass one another by since we're in the same circles. We chat here and there, and maintain our friendship because we don't want to make it awkward for our friends. She's apologized countless times already in the past, and I told her I forgave her but needed some space to myself to sort things out. And I think I have gotten there. Most folks here from what I've seen are against getting back with someone who cheated. I've been told I'm extremely forgiving but that's just my nature. There's way too much crap to worry about that is larger than our egos.
Would it be weird to get back with her? She wants it, as she's expressed to me recently. I want to give it another shot but it seems unconventional to do that, though it feels right to me to.
So because of her being an honest and seemingly sane individual now aka someone normal + poor choice in women on your part in the past makes you want to get back together with her?
It seems like you are tired of being single, she is easy to have right now and it all rolls smoothly for you with little to no effort because you already know her and how she works.
Dear, you seem lazy and looking for a relationship comfort ride until you realize there‘s something better out there. But hey, you can try! Winter‘s coming and cuffing season just started. But on a more serious note: rethink what she can bring to the table, how she can improve your life and happiness. If things like „we can talk together/she is easy going/good sex“ come to your mind - Next! That‘s basic and any female can/should provide that for you, you should want more out of a relationship.
Posted by AquaNextDoorPosted by earlorg16
We've been separated for well over four years at this point and she cheated on me over 6 years ago.
I've had my share of fun and dates, and quite frankly, she has come across as the most honest and sane person I've come across still. Yes she's cheated, but at the same time, she hasn't really fooled around as much as I have. For the first 2 years of being single, I was whoring the hell out. Almost too much. The last two years, I've calmed down a lot and have been approached or have approached different women, all of whom seem to be so troubled, to the point where they victimize themselves until they make themselves totally unapproachable. It's the same reoccurring theme with the women I meet or have come across.
My ex however hasn't nagged me or anything, we pass one another by since we're in the same circles. We chat here and there, and maintain our friendship because we don't want to make it awkward for our friends. She's apologized countless times already in the past, and I told her I forgave her but needed some space to myself to sort things out. And I think I have gotten there. Most folks here from what I've seen are against getting back with someone who cheated. I've been told I'm extremely forgiving but that's just my nature. There's way too much crap to worry about that is larger than our egos.
Would it be weird to get back with her? She wants it, as she's expressed to me recently. I want to give it another shot but it seems unconventional to do that, though it feels right to me to.
So because of her being an honest and seemingly sane individual now aka someone normal + poor choice in women on your part in the past makes you want to get back together with her?
It seems like you are tired of being single, she is easy to have right now and it all rolls smoothly for you with little to no effort because you already know her and how she works.
Dear, you seem lazy and looking for a relationship comfort ride until you realize there‘s something better out there. But hey, you can try! Winter‘s coming and cuffing season just started. But on a more serious note: rethink what she can bring to the table, how she can improve your life and happiness. If things like „we can talk together/she is easy going/good sex“ come to your mind - Next! That‘s basic and any female can/should provide that for you, you should want more out of a relationship.click to expand
If I was tired of being single and just wanted a easy relationship, I think I would've been with her by now. Also, the reason why I'm taking my time and not back with her atm is because I want to ensure this isn't just me settling. That wouldn't be fair to either of us, which I posted about earlier in this thread.
I don't think it's f'd up if a person (it could be anyone) dated around and realized that their old flame may have been best suited for them. How is that bad? Don't they say distance makes the heart grow fonder? I don't quite get why you're making it sound like that's a bad thing. We dated others, it didn't work out, and we realized while dating others, that maybe we really were right for each other. This isn't just something that only occurred with me only. It takes two to tango. She expressed the same feeling with me.
Does this mean we should just get back together though? I don't know, hence why I started this thread. I don't think we should just jump back into it immediately, but it's a thought right now and like you suggested, I am going to rethink what she can bring to the table before jumping ship. I don't think I'm being lazy, far from it, as I am still currently seeing others and opening myself up to the potential of dating other people. I just don't want to potentially lose "the one" so to speak, and figuring out if she really is worth getting back with. If we got back together, I'd do my best to have it be a totally new start and not a continuation of our past.
Posted by earlorg16Posted by AquaNextDoorPosted by earlorg16
We've been separated for well over four years at this point and she cheated on me over 6 years ago.
I've had my share of fun and dates, and quite frankly, she has come across as the most honest and sane person I've come across still. Yes she's cheated, but at the same time, she hasn't really fooled around as much as I have. For the first 2 years of being single, I was whoring the hell out. Almost too much. The last two years, I've calmed down a lot and have been approached or have approached different women, all of whom seem to be so troubled, to the point where they victimize themselves until they make themselves totally unapproachable. It's the same reoccurring theme with the women I meet or have come across.
My ex however hasn't nagged me or anything, we pass one another by since we're in the same circles. We chat here and there, and maintain our friendship because we don't want to make it awkward for our friends. She's apologized countless times already in the past, and I told her I forgave her but needed some space to myself to sort things out. And I think I have gotten there. Most folks here from what I've seen are against getting back with someone who cheated. I've been told I'm extremely forgiving but that's just my nature. There's way too much crap to worry about that is larger than our egos.
Would it be weird to get back with her? She wants it, as she's expressed to me recently. I want to give it another shot but it seems unconventional to do that, though it feels right to me to.
So because of her being an honest and seemingly sane individual now aka someone normal + poor choice in women on your part in the past makes you want to get back together with her?
It seems like you are tired of being single, she is easy to have right now and it all rolls smoothly for you with little to no effort because you already know her and how she works.
Dear, you seem lazy and looking for a relationship comfort ride until you realize there‘s something better out there. But hey, you can try! Winter‘s coming and cuffing season just started. But on a more serious note: rethink what she can bring to the table, how she can improve your life and happiness. If things like „we can talk together/she is easy going/good sex“ come to your mind - Next! That‘s basic and any female can/should provide that for you, you should want more out of a relationship.
If I was tired of being single and just wanted a easy relationship, I think I would've been with her by now. Also, the reason why I'm taking my time and not back with her atm is because I want to ensure this isn't just me settling. That wouldn't be fair to either of us, which I posted about earlier in this thread.
I don't think it's f'd up if a person (it could be anyone) dated around and realized that their old flame may have been best suited for them. How is that bad? Don't they say distance makes the heart grow fonder? I don't quite get why you're making it sound like that's a bad thing. We dated others, it didn't work out, and we realized while dating others, that maybe we really were right for each other. This isn't just something that only occurred with me only. It takes two to tango. She expressed the same feeling with me.
Does this mean we should just get back together though? I don't know, hence why I started this thread. I don't think we should just jump back into it immediately, but it's a thought right now and like you suggested, I am going to rethink what she can bring to the table before jumping ship. I don't think I'm being lazy, far from it, as I am still currently seeing others and opening myself up to the potential of dating other people. I just don't want to potentially lose "the one" so to speak, and figuring out if she really is worth getting back with. If we got back together, I'd do my best to have it be a totally new start and not a continuation of our past.click to expand
Well then good luck! You‘ll never know until you try
Or you now what? Wait till venus rx is over and then you might give it a go or not
Posted by AquaNextDoorPosted by earlorg16Posted by AquaNextDoorPosted by earlorg16
We've been separated for well over four years at this point and she cheated on me over 6 years ago.
I've had my share of fun and dates, and quite frankly, she has come across as the most honest and sane person I've come across still. Yes she's cheated, but at the same time, she hasn't really fooled around as much as I have. For the first 2 years of being single, I was whoring the hell out. Almost too much. The last two years, I've calmed down a lot and have been approached or have approached different women, all of whom seem to be so troubled, to the point where they victimize themselves until they make themselves totally unapproachable. It's the same reoccurring theme with the women I meet or have come across.
My ex however hasn't nagged me or anything, we pass one another by since we're in the same circles. We chat here and there, and maintain our friendship because we don't want to make it awkward for our friends. She's apologized countless times already in the past, and I told her I forgave her but needed some space to myself to sort things out. And I think I have gotten there. Most folks here from what I've seen are against getting back with someone who cheated. I've been told I'm extremely forgiving but that's just my nature. There's way too much crap to worry about that is larger than our egos.
Would it be weird to get back with her? She wants it, as she's expressed to me recently. I want to give it another shot but it seems unconventional to do that, though it feels right to me to.
So because of her being an honest and seemingly sane individual now aka someone normal + poor choice in women on your part in the past makes you want to get back together with her?
It seems like you are tired of being single, she is easy to have right now and it all rolls smoothly for you with little to no effort because you already know her and how she works.
Dear, you seem lazy and looking for a relationship comfort ride until you realize there‘s something better out there. But hey, you can try! Winter‘s coming and cuffing season just started. But on a more serious note: rethink what she can bring to the table, how she can improve your life and happiness. If things like „we can talk together/she is easy going/good sex“ come to your mind - Next! That‘s basic and any female can/should provide that for you, you should want more out of a relationship.
If I was tired of being single and just wanted a easy relationship, I think I would've been with her by now. Also, the reason why I'm taking my time and not back with her atm is because I want to ensure this isn't just me settling. That wouldn't be fair to either of us, which I posted about earlier in this thread.
I don't think it's f'd up if a person (it could be anyone) dated around and realized that their old flame may have been best suited for them. How is that bad? Don't they say distance makes the heart grow fonder? I don't quite get why you're making it sound like that's a bad thing. We dated others, it didn't work out, and we realized while dating others, that maybe we really were right for each other. This isn't just something that only occurred with me only. It takes two to tango. She expressed the same feeling with me.
Does this mean we should just get back together though? I don't know, hence why I started this thread. I don't think we should just jump back into it immediately, but it's a thought right now and like you suggested, I am going to rethink what she can bring to the table before jumping ship. I don't think I'm being lazy, far from it, as I am still currently seeing others and opening myself up to the potential of dating other people. I just don't want to potentially lose "the one" so to speak, and figuring out if she really is worth getting back with. If we got back together, I'd do my best to have it be a totally new start and not a continuation of our past.
Well then good luck! You‘ll never know until you tryclick to expand
Thanks! We'll see I suppose.
Posted by Black-MambaPosted by EtherealTravelerPosted by earlorg16Posted by EtherealTraveler
Honestly I'd say no because of the risk
If she cheats on you, what makes you think she won't cheat on you again?
I don't buy the once a cheater always a cheater motto. When we gave it a second go, she didn't cheat, it was more me not getting over what happened which is why I ended it.
Cheating is addictive and can be addictive to people because of the whole "initial lust period of time"
Take this from a Sag Venus and someone with tons of Pisces influences
You're 18
Stfuclick to expand
Wow stop exposing my age I'm trying to act 38 😢((
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