What would you do if (Page 2)

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by AbbyNormal

im not his mother

Of course you are ... and you appear to be proud of it

is this necessary?

Oh yes ... most of the individuals who make up the viewing audience aren't aware enough to be able to read between the lines. They will take what you say at face value without looking at your motive.

You're lying to us. You say you don't want this, yet, your actions prove that you do ... and I've made sure that everyone reading this is becoming aware.

click to expand

ok kid, wear yourself out then.

Posted by AbbyNormal

i legitimately wanted to hear from others

What more do you want to hear, Heather?

You've heard from numerous people, all telling you the same thing. And still, you come back with excuses, and defend him.

So, the only logical assumption is that you want to be validated.

Of course, you are pretending ... because if you aren't playing dumb, then it means you are this dumb

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by AbbyNormal

i legitimately wanted to hear from others

What more do you want to hear, Heather?

You've heard from numerous people, all telling you the same thing. And still, you come back with excuses, and defend him.

So, the only logical assumption is that you want to be validated.

Of course, you are pretending ... because if you aren't playing dumb, then it means you are this dumb

click to expand

i wanted to hear exactly what i heard P. it was all helpful in solidifying what i already knew. just regreshing to hear from others and talk a little. i keep a lot bottled up and i expressed myself. all in all id say setting out with no goal it certainly accomplished one for me.

reFreshing smdh

Posted by AbbyNormal
your significant other not only kept you from getting your first raise at a new job, but also got you kicked out of the place you are renting?

Now we've found out that the above is actually a lie. As one reads further, we find out .....


1. you were on a 90-day probation period at a new job, in this period, you and this Virgo had a sparring match at the customer service counter. to have an argument with someone, it involves two people.

So, the truth is = you prevented yourself from moving from a probationary employee to a permanent employee, which also includes a wage increase. He didn't keep you from getting a raise. YOU had so little respect for your job and your boss and your customers, that YOU had an argument in front of them.

Then further, you said bullshit like - apparently it's a big no no to argue and work - as if you weren't informed by your boss, then it would be ok to do so.


Seriously .... what kind of moronic logic is that?


2. you weren't kicked out of your place to live. according to your response to Elle, your little boy that you've got under your wing to mother and protect had a verbal altercation with your landlord and the landlord wants him out ... while telling you that you could stay.

So, not only is that a lie you told us (probably because your panties were wadded up your ass and you lack the emotional fortitude to handle your feelings without coming in here to manipulate our view of him in a bad light), this delusion goes even further because by your landlord wanting you to stay while he leaves is resolution.

But, you'd rather be deceptive to us. you ask for insight to a fabrication.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by AbbyNormal
your significant other not only kept you from getting your first raise at a new job, but also got you kicked out of the place you are renting?

Now we've found out that the above is actually a lie. As one reads further, we find out .....


1. you were on a 90-day probation period at a new job, in this period, you and this Virgo had a sparring match at the customer service counter. to have an argument with someone, it involves two people.

So, the truth is = you prevented yourself from moving from a probationary employee to a permanent employee, which also includes a wage increase. He didn't keep you from getting a raise. YOU had so little respect for your job and your boss and your customers, that YOU had an argument in front of them.

Then further, you said bullshit like - apparently it's a big no no to argue and work - as if you weren't informed by your boss, then it would be ok to do so.


Seriously .... what kind of moronic logic is that?


2. you weren't kicked out of your place to live. according to your response to Elle, your little boy that you've got under your wing to mother and protect had a verbal altercation with your landlord and the landlord wants him out ... while telling you that you could stay.

So, not only is that a lie you told us (probably because your panties were wadded up your ass and you lack the emotional fortitude to handle your feelings without coming in here to manipulate our view of him in a bad light), this delusion goes even further because by your landlord wanting you to stay while he leaves is resolution.

But, you'd rather be deceptive to us. you ask for insight to a fabrication.

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you are certainly making something out of nothing. i never said i got in a verbal altercation with him at my work. i handled it as professionally as possible which is why noone was aware it happened until i reported it as i should have. also, you are right, i was not asked to leave. since i was considering us a package deal, if he was going so was i. now that i am not considering that, there are more options. idk what your fixation on calling me a liar is but i don't appr

i don't appreciate it. i am giving you information without going into superfluous detail and you are trying to read into it.

and i dont feel i should be scolded for expressing myself as you should well understand.

If you want honest insight, then YOU be honest.


Say: I've got myself in a bad situation with this Virgo guy I've been living with. He won't pull his weight and we argue cats and dogs. We had an argument at work, in where I got in trouble ... and he got us in trouble with our Landlord. I need out of this situation with him, and I'm so attached to these feelings that I don't know how to tear myself away. Help!!



Instead, you lie to us and expect a value. For you to say you've gotten some good insight is hogwash considering the information you fed them was Bullshit.

Posted by P-Angel

If you want honest insight, then YOU be honest.


Say: I've got myself in a bad situation with this Virgo guy I've been living with. He won't pull his weight and we argue cats and dogs. We had an argument at work, in where I got in trouble ... and he got us in trouble with our Landlord. I need out of this situation with him, and I'm so attached to these feelings that I don't know how to tear myself away. Help!!



Instead, you lie to us and expect a value. For you to say you've gotten some good insight is hogwash considering the information you fed them was Bullshit.

im pretty sure you summed it up pretty well Peach. im being honest and i do appreciate your honest input, for if it is nothing it is honest.

and again we did not have an argument at my work bc i wouldnt address it in that manner. nonetheless it still kept me from a raise i deserved and needed and i am upset about it.

gemini moon in 12th house come on...

im upset altogether. mostly at myself for putting up with such behavior for so long. bc i am where i am today bc of me noone else when it comes down to it. i held on and hoped too long and tbe relationship became unhealthy.

Posted by 037

Get him therapy then, Abby.

While you continue to sacrifice for him, the day might come when he will up and leave you with no qualms.

dude, seriously? Like, you have zero awareness that you don't "get" people to do things, that people do things ((((((((( ONLY ))))))) because they mean to, do you? And did people actually agree with that? So how many people do we actually have out there this oblivious to reality?

So, a person who is in her 30's has to be told that someone in their life could decide to leave you? What do all you guys just flutter around life in la-la-land, or summit?

and what is this all about, "he will up and leave you with no qualms"? ... why should there be any qualms?

there shouldn't be any qualms with Abby making the decision to up and leave ... however, she has decided to make qualms about it.

Why would you counsel someone, feeling compelled to tell this other person, that this guy might exercise one of his personal rights as an individual by deciding which relationship he wants to be in?

Like, a person a doesn't know that? Well, maybe you're right because doesn't know it .... at all, apparently.

So, if I am to understand you people ..... for Abby to ask, and for people to answer - it means that you don't actually realize that the making of qualms is a self infliction, that life is too unbearable to face in that how you feel isn't important, so you make waves to get attention.

Why would you say he might up and leave without any qualms? To say this insinuates that there SHOULD be qualms about his desire to leave her. when in reality, it's his RIGHT as a person to decide who he wants to spend his future with .... so, actually, there should NOT be any qualms if he leaves her.


Dude, you guys have energy backwards. You bank on the negative, while ignoring the positive = actual truth

only negativity is coming from you Peach. you don't have to accept or agree with what anyone else has to say but they have the right to say it.

Posted by AbbyNormal
i don't appreciate it. i am giving you information without going into superfluous detail and you are trying to read into it.

Wow.

Here is part of your problem...

Abby.... you don't have to argue with people who are ugly to you.

Shut that shit down.

Give yourself permission to tell them to piss off-- you're entitled to think

and feel as you wish.



God knows p-gel has had me blocked for years. 😄

That ought to tell you something.

Posted by AbbyNormal

you don't have to accept or agree with what anyone else has to say but they have the right to say it.

I don't speak for her, or you. I speak for the viewing audience.

In any/all threads ... I speak to point out contridictions/deceptions, for the viewing audience. I couldn't give a rats ass what she says to you.


Seriously ..... I thought every oldtimer realized that. Where've you been? Oh, up a loser's ass.

Posted by ellle
A person who has no regard for your well being and shows no respect for you as a person, does not love you....they actually detest you.

You have shown to be very much like his mother, so, in essence, he's treating you exactly the way he treats her.....with blatant disrespect and disregard for you as a human being.

Sure, he'll turn on the sob story because he knows how to tug at your heartstrings....because he's quite manipulative and knows how to get what he wants....it's a learned behaviour that he's been accustomed to for a very long time.

Do not think for a minute that your love means anything to him. You are wasting your time, resources and energy on this.

It's time to take care of yourself.

People will go to GREAT LENGTHS to avoid what they perceive

as 'being mean'.... but it's rooted more deeply than that.

Like a fear of being alone or something-- friend of mine... I think

that is her issue.

But she is AT LEAST trying group support meetings to see which

ones she fits into, and what kind of support it is that she needs.

But she's fixed... a Scorp. lol

Y'all have guts, I'll give you that. 🙂


But we all know this... you, me, and 80% of the women on here.


The other 20% are languishing in co-dependent relationships,

making excuses to stay, and they are often RIDICULOUS.


It makes me crazy o_____O

That was not directed at you, Heather... just generally speaking.


For some reason, I'm seeing so much of this, right now.

smh

i do agree with P.

The truth really hurts badly,

and people who will gently give it to you so sweetly......

well, do you feel this will benefit you—

Does it benefit you if others give it to you sweetly and gently?

I guess it's basically what type of person you are, Abby.

So you need a gentle hand. there's alot of gentle hands on this site.

P witch is here to drive traffic to the site.

Ignore her. She used to pluck chickens in her old town and hasn't fucked in ten years.

She likes to think she's all that and beer.

This is her day job though, so she excels at it.

Heather, maybe you need to step away from dys for a while to see clearly.

All these aggressive people ready to tear you up for not listening to them on the internet.

i-ninjas.

lmao!

Even my phone thinks dxp is a dysfunction.

lol

Maybe if P finds a synonym for qualms...

Look at her calling people liars when she takes a part of someone's post and twists it into a rant about her godlikeness.
Omnipotent oh you are for seeing everything.

How to take dxp seriously 101

smh

Posted by blackphase
It actually hurts my feelings to see how cruel you can be to people. For someone who seems to have an answer for everything and likes to pick apart everyone elses lives and character flaws, you are a terribly miserable person with a nasty attitude. Couldn't use all of your awesome insight to help yourself? It must make you feel really good about yourself or fill some sort of void in your life to come on here and bully people the way you do, because there is no other reason for being just so nasty to people. You are the one taking time out of your life to sit here and ridicule others, who you basically deem as idiots anyways.. seems like an awful waste of your time. Why spend so much time arguing with someone or trying to point out your observation if you think they are lying to begin with? Sort of seems like a lost cause.. Guess you have nothing better to do with your life so it seems..

+1


P-gel sold out a long time ago.

This is how she reinforces her current paradigm, and justifies the

compromises she's made in her own life.

Posted by AbbyNormal
im upset altogether. mostly at myself for putting up with such behavior for so long. bc i am where i am today bc of me noone else when it comes down to it. i held on and hoped too long and tbe relationship became unhealthy.

don't be too hard on yourself. you're a taurus. you put up with a lot and as this experience has illustrated, too much sometimes. however you know what you need to do and probably it most likely had to come to this to have things change. at least you can say that you did your very best.

what words to use? you need to leave. it doesn't matter how you dress it up you just need to say that and keep saying it until he closes the door behind him.

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by lisabethur8
i do agree with P.

The truth really hurts badly,

and people who will gently give it to you so sweetly......

well, do you feel this will benefit you—

Does it benefit you if others give it to you sweetly and gently?

I guess it's basically what type of person you are, Abby.

So you need a gentle hand. there's alot of gentle hands on this site.

One Can speak truth without having to tear down. There aré better ways to going about it without coddleling yet not being so negative.

click to expand

sometimes you gotta tear down to rebuild.

well Abby got alot of comments.

she's gonna do what she's gonna do.

Posted by Impulsv
Frankly I would not want to date a child but to each its own.

+1


maybe he'll learn after this. and Abby and him will be transformed and happy.

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by lisabethur8
i do agree with P.

The truth really hurts badly,

and people who will gently give it to you so sweetly......

well, do you feel this will benefit you—

Does it benefit you if others give it to you sweetly and gently?

I guess it's basically what type of person you are, Abby.

So you need a gentle hand. there's alot of gentle hands on this site.

One Can speak truth without having to tear down. There aré better ways to going about it without coddleling yet not being so negative.

click to expand

when in reality .... for every one of the insights she got from everyone else - her response when something like: "I know, but ...."

whereas it wasn't until I pushed her against the wall that she started listening.

Up until I entered the room ... she was nothing more than excuses to try and convince herself she isn't being a fool.

You are more than welcome to be one of the voices that are so similar that she cannot even hear you ...... while I continue on being the one voice in the crowd that is being heard.

So did you and Ssupes stomp your feet and slam a door because you've been ignored while I had her full attention.


Awe, poor Scorpio

Posted by P-Angel

If you want honest insight, then YOU be honest.


Say: I've got myself in a bad situation with this Virgo guy I've been living with. He won't pull his weight and we argue cats and dogs. We had an argument at work, in where I got in trouble ... and he got us in trouble with our Landlord. I need out of this situation with him, and I'm so attached to these feelings that I don't know how to tear myself away. Help!!



Instead, you lie to us and expect a value. For you to say you've gotten some good insight is hogwash considering the information you fed them was Bullshit.

🙂

You ought to re-load your Angel mouse gif to your avatar spot again P-Angel. I miss her little feet dancing and head nodding 🙂

Ehh, probably just rigor mortis setting in.

lol, Monty 😆

Posted by Wynter

You ought to re-load your Angel mouse gif to your avatar spot again P-Angel. I miss her little feet dancing and head nodding 🙂

I've tried, numerous times. There's obviously a problem and I'm pretty computer illiterate. I'm not capable of figuring out how to do it. Just like tinypic no longer works for me, and I'm not smart enough in this field to be able to do it.

When Bling was here, he always helped me. I miss him, and not just for that .... he's was an amazing person, really.

Posted by AbbyNormal

...... kept you from getting your first raise at a new job

Posted by AbbyNormal

1. He showed up at my work shouting and cursing, hitting the counter to get my attention while i had a line of customers. Then grabbed my keys off the counter and ran.

..... my boss attempted to talk to him afterwards and he wouldnt. so he was banned from my work and at the next meeting with the boss to discuss my raise after my 90day review, she told me i was going to get one until that of course and that i would have to assure her nothing like thay would happen again or we could lose our parking spot for the food truck, verbal altercations are apparently the first on the list of no nos.

click to expand

Obviously, it must be normal for Taurus women who work at customer service counters, to keep their car keys on the counter, rather than her purse. Every other female from other signs most likely keep their keys on their purse.

So, the repercussion of having a verbal altercation (which would involve two people) is losing a parking spot for a food truck. How bizarre is that? Like what does a parking spot have to do with an argument between employee and her SO?

If you were really silent while he was yelling, then any boss would recognize that you are a victim and not a participant, so then you wouldn't be in trouble, you wouldn't be reprimanded. So, that doesn't even make sense. The only way YOU would be in trouble is if you were part of the verbal altercation at the customer service counter.

Also, it's additionally very telling about your dishonesty here with us when your concern is about a raise, and not the job itself. A person who is on a probationary period at work on a new job is a temporary employee. I would think that any normal (and honest) person would be really concerned about proving to the boss that they are worthy of being a permanent employee. You don't seem to care about that, you never mention that.

If you aren't a desirable employee and a ruckus was created by you during a probationary period ... then the fear you SHOULD have is that you won't pass this testing period to see if you're a good fit.

I would imagine that most (if not every) manager in dxp reading this fully realizes that if you fuck up during a probationary period, the

I would imagine that most (if not every) manager in dxp reading this fully realizes that if you fuck up during a probationary period, then you are dismissed. A probationary period is contractual, they cannot keep you on as a permanent employee, but fail to give you the wages of a permanent employee.

You have flapped your jaws here dishonestly and every manager, or experienced person in the working field realizes that if the employer passes your probationary period, then by law have to give you the contractual wages.

So, if you were in fact not given the raise after this period ... then it would mean you were dismissed, and never given a permanent position.

But, this is a lie. The truth lies inbetween the lines.

Posted by AbbyNormal

your significant ..... , but also got you kicked out of the place you are renting?

Posted by AbbyNormal

2. We are renting from a man and my bf could not seem to follow his house rules, kinda strict i might add yet he told me that he had no problem with me staying.

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You talk out of both sides of your mouth ... which is the truth?

So DxP-God no longer allows gifs as avatars?

That's a shame.

It doesnt' recognize my mouse, at all, now.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Wynter
So DxP-God no longer allows gifs as avatars?

That's a shame.

It would have to be the exact default size that the site resizes every avi to for it to work. I don't know the dimensions. It looks like 150 x 150 to me.

click to expand

That's what I thought too. I tried going on a site to resize P-Angel's mouse with different heights and lengths. Tried uploading it to my profile to see if my avatar changes, got an error. Now none of my images can load. I was curious because I have a few nice gifs I'd use as avatars.

In P's profile, the mouse appears as a jpg instead of a gif. I think the software can't keep anything as gif on this site no matter the size.

You gotta take care of you! I have a similar story to yours from 14 years ago. It's how I ended up moving across country with my then love of my life, who was very much like your guy. He couldn't /wouldn't hold a job for more than a few weeks. Caused all sorts of drama in the place I was living prior to moving, all the drama started coming into my place of employment.

What did i do? Walk away? nope, I was in love so I stayed with him, he convinced me to move away from my support base, my family, my life long friends. things where great for about two months then I woke up when I almost lost that job and realized I was doing everything I said I would never do with a man. I was sacrificing who I was for love. That isn't love that is self destruction. I know it hurts to invest so much in another but you cannot do that to the point that you are sacrificing yourself.

First and foremost, it is not your place to support him, he's a grown adult. You need to support YOU. Hun, go get counseling for your self and find out why you think you must do all this stuff for him, I have an idea since it sounds so similar to my story and I did just that- however I am trying everything to not project here and if I said what it might stem from than that's my thoughts/feelings etc... another creepy thing, my name is Heather too. Not sure why I was compelled to post, other than to say I too have been right in the place you have been and hopefully it will help you see the path of destruction you are on.

Btw, I have survived, I have become stronger, I am a homeowner by my own hard work & dedication, I have the same job from 14 years ago... it's amazing what DOES happen when you remove the toxic people or you remove yourself from them.

something i learned from my old grandma Liu... still sticks with me today:

"you cannot love someone that is determined to destroy you. there is a time for forgiveness. there is a time for second chances. but there is also a time to end things. you must put an end to what is trying to destroying you before your end rushes to meet you. when this happens all will be too late."

i'm thankful for the wise advice she gave me. you are taurus with cancer rising - it's time for your bull to take over and dig its hooves in. put the cancer on the back burner. crabs are easy to manipulate and walk over when they are in love. i've seen so many get mistreated due to them loving and caring for scumbags. you saved his life, but why is he trying to destroy yours? what thanks is this?

okay, you may love him, but you should love yourself more. open your eyes and see him for what he really is. you shouldn't have even had to ask this question. when you hold on to trash it will only end up cluttering your life until it buries you. you've made so many changes in your life and did things on your own. is loving him worth sacrificing yourself and your achievements? no one is worth that. you need a man that is going to build with you, not tear down what you create. it is obvious you are just someone he can use. he doesn't love nor respect you. his behavior and treatment towards you reflects this heavily. it's time to show yourself some love now.