How do Saggs react to ultimatums?

I dont like ultimatums, hate if ppl do it to me and never did it to anyone If I well recall.

But my Sagg seems to react to them.

If he is distant or behaving like an ass and I call him out on it, he comes back nice and sweet.

This week I told him to stop being an ass. Or keep on being an ass but stop seeing me. And so again he comes back immediatly all nice.

Im in a cross road. We've been seeing each other for 6 months. During this time after travelling together he said he is not ready for a relationship. But he keeps on seeing me and he is not seeing any one else.

Im not sure how long I can keep it cool.

Sex is becoming really wow. We are loosing all inhibitations. But I know it is more than sex.

On one hand I want to give him his time and space. On the other hand I just want him to commit to me for fear of loosing him.

Do I put him against the wall and say: or you commit or we are done?

How would a Sagg react to this??

ask yourself what you want -- this to continue or a commitment.

Tell him what you want and draw your boundaries.

Posted by Nevermore
He only wants your sex and nothing else.

??

Hope not..

Probably not good. They seem to want to be in control and have things their way. Instead, ask him why he doesn't want to commit. Are you sure he's not seeing anyone else?? Go do some detective work right now.

fear of losing.. he's just a person, ask yourself if you are willing to compromise on your principles/boundaries and thereby compromise on your quality of life...

Posted by RumiL
ask yourself what you want -- this to continue or a commitment.

Tell him what you want and draw your boundaries.

I want a commitment. Thats clear to me. I want him.

Keeping it cool until he wakes up and realises how great of a woman I am is sounding risky and unsettling.

I should confront him, right?

Go into the next level or put a stop to it.

Posted by pinkbird03
Probably not good. They seem to want to be in control and have things their way. Instead, ask him why he doesn't want to commit. Are you sure he's not seeing anyone else?? Go do some detective work right now.

He is not.

He informs me of all his steps.

He is always busy doing sports stuff with 2 friends and he always sends me pictures. The little free time he has outside friends he spends with me. If I check social media he is always where he says with whom he says..

Posted by Nevermore

Posted by IamAries

Posted by Nevermore
He only wants your sex and nothing else.

??

Hope not..

He's not ready for a relationship, but because the sex was esquisite that he'd rather to have that & nothig else.. Like a side chick or fwb.

click to expand

And I will only know for sure by confronting him.

Posted by RumiL
fear of losing.. he's just a person, ask yourself if you are willing to compromise on your principles/boundaries and thereby compromise on your quality of life...

True. I need to hear more stuff like this to have the guts to demand what I need.

Posted by IamAries

Posted by RumiL
ask yourself what you want -- this to continue or a commitment.

Tell him what you want and draw your boundaries.

I want a commitment. Thats clear to me. I want him.

Keeping it cool until he wakes up and realises how great of a woman I am is sounding risky and unsettling.

I should confront him, right?

Go into the next level or put a stop to it.

click to expand

Yes 🙂

sit down and think, ask yourself, what do you want, are you willing to risk your principles, are you going to continue physical relationship with him, why, why not, is a person worth all the risky changes, do you feel happy and yourself doing this with him.. then tell him, make your stand clear, be open to him but draw definite thick boundaries..(like sticking to your principles, not going to talk beyond the 'hi'/bye' or spend time with him unless he commits and so on)

Posted by IamAries

Posted by RumiL
fear of losing.. he's just a person, ask yourself if you are willing to compromise on your principles/boundaries and thereby compromise on your quality of life...

True. I need to hear more stuff like this to have the guts to demand what I need.

click to expand

😄 I'm here for you aries sister *bumps hoof*

Posted by RumiL

Posted by IamAries

Posted by RumiL
fear of losing.. he's just a person, ask yourself if you are willing to compromise on your principles/boundaries and thereby compromise on your quality of life...

True. I need to hear more stuff like this to have the guts to demand what I need.

😄 I'm here for you aries sister *bumps hoof*

click to expand

Here's a virtual hug for you my sweet aries (())

Damnt it, he just left my house but I will tell him now before I loose the courage.

Posted by IamAries

Posted by RumiL

Posted by IamAries

Posted by RumiL
fear of losing.. he's just a person, ask yourself if you are willing to compromise on your principles/boundaries and thereby compromise on your quality of life...

True. I need to hear more stuff like this to have the guts to demand what I need.

😄 I'm here for you aries sister *bumps hoof*

Here's a virtual hug for you my sweet aries (())

Damnt it, he just left my house but I will tell him now before I loose the courage.

click to expand

aww 🤗 ^__^

lol.. it's okay.. think thoroughly, of what you want and wish to say to him.. you will have more courage :-)

Aries, I don't think Sag are capable of lying like Aries.. so, my whole point is be open to him, but maintain boundaries -- that is, there are just some things you do before and after committing and that is what you make it clear to him 🙂

Best wishes!! 🤗

My ex had Venus in Scorpio and Leo moon so it would turn into a prideful battle of wills and then when I really left he would come begging back. The last and final time and I left it resonated with rage and bitterness but that was on him. Honestly if you're at the point of giving ultimatum is it worth it which is something that I asked myself after the relationship so I will try not to give ultimatums in the future, what if I'm fully invested in someone I try to give them a chance probably too many chances.

Posted by IamAries

Posted by pinkbird03
Probably not good. They seem to want to be in control and have things their way. Instead, ask him why he doesn't want to commit. Are you sure he's not seeing anyone else?? Go do some detective work right now.

He is not.

He informs me of all his steps.

He is always busy doing sports stuff with 2 friends and he always sends me pictures. The little free time he has outside friends he spends with me. If I check social media he is always where he says with whom he says..

click to expand

Sagittarius is known for cheating. They are good at it. Just saying

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by IamAries

Posted by pinkbird03
Probably not good. They seem to want to be in control and have things their way. Instead, ask him why he doesn't want to commit. Are you sure he's not seeing anyone else?? Go do some detective work right now.

He is not.

He informs me of all his steps.

He is always busy doing sports stuff with 2 friends and he always sends me pictures. The little free time he has outside friends he spends with me. If I check social media he is always where he says with whom he says..

Sagittarius is known for cheating. They are good at it. Just saying

click to expand

Maybe they are. I dont know. He was always honest with me so until he gives me reasons not to believe him, I will believe him.

Im not thinking about him being with other people, im thinking about how he feels about me.

Im feeling emotional today. Maybe for returning home after such great holidays in the sun.

I just told him it is time to stop now. ?

I dont want to be understanding of his feelings no more. I need him to understand mine too.

Posted by IamAries

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by IamAries

Posted by pinkbird03
Probably not good. They seem to want to be in control and have things their way. Instead, ask him why he doesn't want to commit. Are you sure he's not seeing anyone else?? Go do some detective work right now.

He is not.

He informs me of all his steps.

He is always busy doing sports stuff with 2 friends and he always sends me pictures. The little free time he has outside friends he spends with me. If I check social media he is always where he says with whom he says..

Sagittarius is known for cheating. They are good at it. Just saying

Maybe they are. I dont know. He was always honest with me so until he gives me reasons not to believe him, I will believe him.

Im not thinking about him being with other people, im thinking about how he feels about me.

click to expand

I'm sure there's lots of reasons why people do not commit. Maybe google it. But it just sounds like he's keeping his options open.

Posted by IamAries
Im feeling emotional today. Maybe for returning home after such great holidays in the sun.

I just told him it is time to stop now. ?

I dont want to be understanding of his feelings no more. I need him to understand mine too.

Good for you! Proud of you 🙂

Posted by Librasetting

Posted by IamAries
Im feeling emotional today. Maybe for returning home after such great holidays in the sun.

I just told him it is time to stop now. ?

I dont want to be understanding of his feelings no more. I need him to understand mine too.

It'll be okay you'll find someone new you Aries girls move pretty fast.

click to expand

Im a broken Aries ? when I like someone I like it with all my being and I dont fall easily. But I wont die thats for sure, just probably loose more weight :p

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by IamAries
Im feeling emotional today. Maybe for returning home after such great holidays in the sun.

I just told him it is time to stop now. ?

I dont want to be understanding of his feelings no more. I need him to understand mine too.

Good for you! Proud of you 🙂

click to expand

Thank you ?

I actually feel like crying now. Well in fact I just started crying.

It is the first time Im crying over this. Dont know whats wrong with me.

And he just said he respects my feelings and is sorry he cant give me more. I asked him to stop contacting me. He agreed.

Officialy heartbroken ?

Fuck

It sucks to have met someone that ticks so many boxes of things you like in a person and seeing it slip through my fingers.

Sucks big time.

Wish I could fast forward time and be over him already.

He sounds like he didn't care very much. What a jerk ?

OK as a Sag I'm thinking why is there so much need and pressure to label something? I hate commitment but that doesn't mean I won't commit to something. He was probably committed to you but just didn't want to label it because it feels like losing his freedom. I always feel uncomfortable with the labels of boyfriend and girlfriend. I would have suggested you just check with him,hey are we bring exclusive or is this an open kind of thing or what's the deal, in a casual way ask him but without pressuring to get a label from him. Then you'd get an answer without scaring him away.if he said it was open and you weren't comfortable with that,THEN you give the ultimatum. But in all probability you were maybe already in an exclusive relationship with him since he was treating you as a gf but didn't want to put it in that box and label it.

Also i think it's bs that all sag cheat and are good at it. I would never cheat, it's dishonest, and the one thing i hate more than anything is dishonesty.

I was briefly involved with a Sag like that a while ago before my Sag fiancé now...

That Sag I pretty much knew he wasn't the type that liked titles. He wanted me there, but was never going to move forward. I don't know if he cheated, as I never had reason to believe, but he sure did adore his freedom. It didn't make him a bad person, but he just wasn't looking for something more serious. He wasn't for me.

I'm now engaged to another one and this one (Cancer Moon, Cap Venus) wanted to move forward faster than I did. He hardly ever goes out and if he does, he would like me there. He basically has been with me almost from day 1 other than when I took a trip to see a friend.

This guy wants a future with me and treats me better than I have ever been treated. No games, no reason to discuss whether he loves me or not, because it's pretty obvious to myself and others.

Just move on, respect that he told you the truth (that he can't give you more) and one day you will find someone who wants what you want. Don't chase anything that doesn't feel right. I wish you luck!

Is this the match made in heaven aries?



Ultimatums. There was 1 ultimatum that actually worked with me. My old boss told me that it was either my job or my boyfriend. Cash rules every thing around me. The answer was simple. It really only worked cause i wanted to leave.his ass anyway and just needed a nudge.

So you can see, if the sag in question already wants it, they will agree to the ultimatum. If they never wanted it, we walk. I cant be forced to do shyt unless i already thought about it. Just like he cant force you 2 slow down and enjoy the moment.

I never received an ultimatum from a love interest cause i dont wife dudes quickly. Ive learned that you gotta let all the crazy come out first. Wait 4 the other shoe to drop.

Posted by Sagaussi
OK as a Sag I'm thinking why is there so much need and pressure to label something? I hate commitment but that doesn't mean I won't commit to something. He was probably committed to you but just didn't want to label it because it feels like losing his freedom. I always feel uncomfortable with the labels of boyfriend and girlfriend. I would have suggested you just check with him,hey are we bring exclusive or is this an open kind of thing or what's the deal, in a casual way ask him but without pressuring to get a label from him. Then you'd get an answer without scaring him away.if he said it was open and you weren't comfortable with that,THEN you give the ultimatum. But in all probability you were maybe already in an exclusive relationship with him since he was treating you as a gf but didn't want to put it in that box and label it.

Also i think it's bs that all sag cheat and are good at it. I would never cheat, it's dishonest, and the one thing i hate more than anything is dishonesty.

Word i didn't saggis are known for cheating. People can barely get us in a relationship in the first place.

Posted by jane84
I was briefly involved with a Sag like that a while ago before my Sag fiancé now...

That Sag I pretty much knew he wasn't the type that liked titles. He wanted me there, but was never going to move forward. I don't know if he cheated, as I never had reason to believe, but he sure did adore his freedom. It didn't make him a bad person, but he just wasn't looking for something more serious. He wasn't for me.

I'm now engaged to another one and this one (Cancer Moon, Cap Venus) wanted to move forward faster than I did. He hardly ever goes out and if he does, he would like me there. He basically has been with me almost from day 1 other than when I took a trip to see a friend.

This guy wants a future with me and treats me better than I have ever been treated. No games, no reason to discuss whether he loves me or not, because it's pretty obvious to myself and others.

Just move on, respect that he told you the truth (that he can't give you more) and one day you will find someone who wants what you want. Don't chase anything that doesn't feel right. I wish you luck!

Cap venus chooses mates. As a cardinal sign, they need forward advancement. So if hes moving forward, its a good sign.

Same can.be said with aries cancer libra.

Posted by pinkbird03
He sounds like he didn't care very much. What a jerk ?

How does he sound like a jerk?

Posted by DMV

Posted by jane84
I was briefly involved with a Sag like that a while ago before my Sag fiancé now...

That Sag I pretty much knew he wasn't the type that liked titles. He wanted me there, but was never going to move forward. I don't know if he cheated, as I never had reason to believe, but he sure did adore his freedom. It didn't make him a bad person, but he just wasn't looking for something more serious. He wasn't for me.

I'm now engaged to another one and this one (Cancer Moon, Cap Venus) wanted to move forward faster than I did. He hardly ever goes out and if he does, he would like me there. He basically has been with me almost from day 1 other than when I took a trip to see a friend.

This guy wants a future with me and treats me better than I have ever been treated. No games, no reason to discuss whether he loves me or not, because it's pretty obvious to myself and others.

Just move on, respect that he told you the truth (that he can't give you more) and one day you will find someone who wants what you want. Don't chase anything that doesn't feel right. I wish you luck!

Cap venus chooses mates. As a cardinal sign, they need forward advancement. So if hes moving forward, its a good sign.

Same can.be said with aries cancer libra.

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I'm a cardinal rising, sun, and moon.. He speaks my language when in love.. Lol

Good thing we are moving in the right direction. 🙂

My Scorpio Venus appreciates his Cap Venus.

Posted by IamAries
But he keeps on seeing me and he is not seeing any one else.

Seems like he's already committed.

Posted by Sagaussi
OK as a Sag I'm thinking why is there so much need and pressure to label something? I hate commitment but that doesn't mean I won't commit to something. He was probably committed to you but just didn't want to label it because it feels like losing his freedom. I always feel uncomfortable with the labels of boyfriend and girlfriend. I would have suggested you just check with him,hey are we bring exclusive or is this an open kind of thing or what's the deal, in a casual way ask him but without pressuring to get a label from him. Then you'd get an answer without scaring him away.if he said it was open and you weren't comfortable with that,THEN you give the ultimatum. But in all probability you were maybe already in an exclusive relationship with him since he was treating you as a gf but didn't want to put it in that box and label it.

Also i think it's bs that all sag cheat and are good at it. I would never cheat, it's dishonest, and the one thing i hate more than anything is dishonesty.

Well, I can understand that fear of labelling the relationship. And all this time I tried to be understanding, even though it goes against what I wanted.. it is not even the label I wanted, it is what comes with it. I needed him, his attention, to know he cared, his love and lately we became just fwb. I've been feeling empty. So I dont feel treated as a gf...

Posted by DMV
Is this the match made in heaven aries?



Ultimatums. There was 1 ultimatum that actually worked with me. My old boss told me that it was either my job or my boyfriend. Cash rules every thing around me. The answer was simple. It really only worked cause i wanted to leave.his ass anyway and just needed a nudge.

So you can see, if the sag in question already wants it, they will agree to the ultimatum. If they never wanted it, we walk. I cant be forced to do shyt unless i already thought about it. Just like he cant force you 2 slow down and enjoy the moment.

I never received an ultimatum from a love interest cause i dont wife dudes quickly. Ive learned that you gotta let all the crazy come out first. Wait 4 the other shoe to drop.

Yes, thats him. The Sag from the Match Made in Heaven thread.

Seems like ultimatums bring the truth out. In this case it clearly did...I told him I dont feel good with myself by keep on having sex with him and that we should stop, and he very quickly agreed not to be in touch again.

Posted by Ophiuchus

Posted by IamAries
But he keeps on seeing me and he is not seeing any one else.

Seems like he's already committed.

click to expand

I don't feel his commitment.

I just felt that lately we were just meeting for sex.

No phone calls, no checking on how the other person is doing, no good night messages, no nothing. Just agreeing on when to meet next, chat about life, sleep together and bye.

I mean, when we are together we connect, it is more than sex! But thats the emptiness in between meets that destroyed it for me. Made me feel lonely.

Posted by IamAries

Posted by Sagaussi
OK as a Sag I'm thinking why is there so much need and pressure to label something? I hate commitment but that doesn't mean I won't commit to something. He was probably committed to you but just didn't want to label it because it feels like losing his freedom. I always feel uncomfortable with the labels of boyfriend and girlfriend. I would have suggested you just check with him,hey are we bring exclusive or is this an open kind of thing or what's the deal, in a casual way ask him but without pressuring to get a label from him. Then you'd get an answer without scaring him away.if he said it was open and you weren't comfortable with that,THEN you give the ultimatum. But in all probability you were maybe already in an exclusive relationship with him since he was treating you as a gf but didn't want to put it in that box and label it.

Also i think it's bs that all sag cheat and are good at it. I would never cheat, it's dishonest, and the one thing i hate more than anything is dishonesty.

Well, I can understand that fear of labelling the relationship. And all this time I tried to be understanding, even though it goes against what I wanted.. it is not even the label I wanted, it is what comes with it. I needed him, his attention, to know he cared, his love and lately we became just fwb. I've been feeling empty. So I dont feel treated as a gf...

click to expand

You said earlier: "He informs me of all his steps. 

He is always busy doing sports stuff with 2 friends and he always sends me pictures. The little free time he has outside friends he spends with me. If I check social media he is always where he says with whom he says."

Is that not treating you as a gf? I would never bother writing that much to someone who is just a sex interest. That sounds pretty much like a bf to me... no?

Posted by Sagaussi

Posted by IamAries

Posted by Sagaussi
OK as a Sag I'm thinking why is there so much need and pressure to label something? I hate commitment but that doesn't mean I won't commit to something. He was probably committed to you but just didn't want to label it because it feels like losing his freedom. I always feel uncomfortable with the labels of boyfriend and girlfriend. I would have suggested you just check with him,hey are we bring exclusive or is this an open kind of thing or what's the deal, in a casual way ask him but without pressuring to get a label from him. Then you'd get an answer without scaring him away.if he said it was open and you weren't comfortable with that,THEN you give the ultimatum. But in all probability you were maybe already in an exclusive relationship with him since he was treating you as a gf but didn't want to put it in that box and label it.

Also i think it's bs that all sag cheat and are good at it. I would never cheat, it's dishonest, and the one thing i hate more than anything is dishonesty.

Well, I can understand that fear of labelling the relationship. And all this time I tried to be understanding, even though it goes against what I wanted.. it is not even the label I wanted, it is what comes with it. I needed him, his attention, to know he cared, his love and lately we became just fwb. I've been feeling empty. So I dont feel treated as a gf...

You said earlier: "He informs me of all his steps. 

He is always busy doing sports stuff with 2 friends and he always sends me pictures. The little free time he has outside friends he spends with me. If I check social media he is always where he says with whom he says."

Is that not treating you as a gf? I would never bother writing that much to someone who is just a sex interest. That sounds pretty much like a bf to me... no?

click to expand

Yes, and that's all true.

And this is the moment (after reading this) where I start doubting myself..

But he speaks about the future and never includes me in it. We have separate lifes.

We rarely speak now. He has his life, I have mine and we meet once in a while. It is becoming such a cold interaction.

I need more.

This week for some stupid reason Ive been feeling emotional: perhaps the jet lag, coming back to an empty house in a cold country after 15 days with family in the sun....I needed him to make me feel wanted. And he bailed on me on Friday to go skiing with friends. We met on Saturday with a bit of insistance from my side.

This is not a boyfriend / girlfriend relationship.

You sound like u want a commitment . If there isn't a commitment after 6 months then there probably won't be one.. Sorry

Posted by SofiaV87
You sound like u want a commitment . If there isn't a commitment after 6 months then there probably won't be one.. Sorry

I do.

It is all fun and games until you have a bad moment and you realise you are lonely after all. Just sex doesnt do it for me.

Posted by IamAries

Posted by SofiaV87
You sound like u want a commitment . If there isn't a commitment after 6 months then there probably won't be one.. Sorry

I do.

It is all fun and games until you have a bad moment and you realise you are lonely after all. Just sex doesnt do it for me.

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I feel u.. Sex is an important part of a relationship , at least it is to me, but it can't be the whole relationship bleh lol

Posted by DMV

Posted by pinkbird03
He sounds like he didn't care very much. What a jerk ?

How does he sound like a jerk?

click to expand

Exactly...

I remember the last thread the OP wrote on this situation and what annoys me is people keep blaming him for her irresponsibility. Not to be mean, but it's time to get real and speak the truth and stop validating bad behavior.

OP, you setting ultimatums demonstrates that it's about what you want and less about "us" and the Sag figured this out long ago. A person who's pure in their motives and intentions doesn't have to try to force someone into something...especially after they've told you 80 ways from Sunday THAT THEY ARE NOT READY.

You pulling this is the equivalent of running head first into a tree and getting mad when the tree doesn't move...and getting mad at the tree. It's a tree. He's shown you who he is. It goes back to the old cliche about the Scorpion and the frog.

People will be who they are no matter how much you try to show them, tell them, steer them. With that being said, the responsibility lies with you. You slept with this guy without getting to know him, what his plans and intentions are, and actually establishing a foundation for something long term. But what you're showing is that the Sag is nothing but some challenge or conquest for you and your ego is your weakness. I don't condone his behavior either but that is how you come off. He cares about you, but will not tell you what it is about you that makes him not want to commit...but it's not your job to change him...that never works especially with us.

So your choices are this, either you accept the situation for what it is and stop complaining about it or you move on. I reiterate...hes told you that he doesn't want one and we can sit here and go through a pointless debate over whether he should and with you but you're both adults and not children. Good luck

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by DMV

Posted by pinkbird03
He sounds like he didn't care very much. What a jerk ?

How does he sound like a jerk?

Exactly...

I remember the last thread the OP wrote on this situation and what annoys me is people keep blaming him for her irresponsibility. Not to be mean, but it's time to get real and speak the truth and stop validating bad behavior.

OP, you setting ultimatums demonstrates that it's about what you want and less about "us" and the Sag figured this out long ago. A person who's pure in their motives and intentions doesn't have to try to force someone into something...especially after they've told you 80 ways from Sunday THAT THEY ARE NOT READY.

You pulling this is the equivalent of running head first into a tree and getting mad when the tree doesn't move...and getting mad at the tree. It's a tree. He's shown you who he is. It goes back to the old cliche about the Scorpion and the frog.

People will be who they are no matter how much you try to show them, tell them, steer them. With that being said, the responsibility lies with you. You slept with this guy without getting to know him, what his plans and intentions are, and actually establishing a foundation for something long term. But what you're showing is that the Sag is nothing but some challenge or conquest for you and your ego is your weakness. I don't condone his behavior either but that is how you come off. He cares about you, but will not tell you what it is about you that makes him not want to commit...but it's not your job to change him...that never works especially with us.

So your choices are this, either you accept the situation for what it is and stop complaining about it or you move on. I reiterate...hes told you that he doesn't want one and we can sit here and go through a pointless debate over whether he should and with you but you're both adults and not children. Good luck

click to expand

I never called him a jerk or similar in any of my threads. Im just venting my frustration of wanting someone that doesnt want me the I way I wish to be wanted.

My fault? Maybe! It takes two to tango, right?

I read comments like yours and they make me think about my actions. But you cant expect people to rationalize emotions!

I get it. This is all he can give me. But damn it, Im still jet lagged, came home and got a temperature shock (from 30degress to -5), suddenly by myself after being 15 days with friends and family...Im emotional! Now after sleeping about it Im even more confused...did I mess up? Maybe. Or maybe I cut with a situation I cant cope.

Do I go and speak to him about it and sound like a lunatic or stick to my decision?

It is all very clear and easy on paper.

Yeah maybe my ego plays a part too...Im not getting what I want.

But seriously, if after 6months this is what he can give me...what would change in 8, 12?

It hurts as hell and I hope I stick to the decision of ending it, even though Im holding myself not to call him tonight under the risk of sounding like an unstable lunatic.

Just because he told me he is not ready for a relationship it doesnt mean he isnt also somewhat responsible for the feelings he provokes in me. Like Saint Exupery says in the Little Prince: "you become responsible forever for what you've tamed".

If I was to be rational about it I would say to myself: end it. Stick to it. You are not happy than move on.

Thats what I did yesterday. Crossing my fingers I'll stick to it.

Posted by sagsagsag
@IamAries Out of curiosity, did you ever ask him if he's seeing other girl?

After he told me his feelings were messed up and he was not ready for a relationship, I asked him if he was seeing other people. He said he met other people but he didnt sleep with anyone sine we met.

I asked him that again saturday and he said he was not seeing anyone else. I asked: honest? Becuse if you say so I will believe you. He said: honest.

Posted by PootyButt
My experience is that they don't like ultimatums, because they hate feeling controlled. However, they can be pretty damn clueless about how their behavior is affecting others. Does he know you're unhappy with the situation?

Well I told him i wanted to stop because I felt this was turning into sex only and it was not making me feel good about myself. It was making me feel empty. So he knows.

Posted by sagsagsag

Posted by IamAries

Posted by sagsagsag
@IamAries Out of curiosity, did you ever ask him if he's seeing other girl?

I asked him that again saturday and he said he was not seeing anyone else. I asked: honest? Becuse if you say so I will believe you. He said: honest.

But he's being loyal though? no?

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I don't know and Im not losing my sleep over other people. He says he is not seeing anyone else. With so many sports activities I wonder if he even would have the time.

After he said he didn't want to be in a relationship...(just after we went traveling abroad for a week, and introducing me to his best friend, and telling his parents about me (!) ) we agreed - myself included - to keep on seeing each other without the pressure of a relationship. Once any of us becomes unhappy we would stop. So my bad here maybe, I was ok with it, in taking it lightly. Basically I gave him the green card not to have any oficial responsibility towards me. But I didn't want to pressure him at the time.

So if he is loyal.. no idea. Im not thinking too much about other people.

The only thing I asked him about was his ex gf. He met me just after finishing the relationship with her. But he says that it is done and dusted and he hasn't spoken to her since. She moved to another city even.

The guy is just not into me. At least not enough.

Allow me to vomit here some more of my already exhausting considerations ??

You see, great majority of my friends dont know this story. They know some of it, but not this dramatic details.

I rather them not to see me as the drama queen I am and think I have it all together, and so I reveal myself to strangers online instead ?

What I wanted to say is that in retrospective I think I know why and when it started going downhill. And there is myself to blame.

After we went on a road trip - which went spectacularly well (sort of his words), I made a video of it. I spent almost one day cutting and editing footage and it is amazing. From the music, to some of the scenes, roads where we travelled and some footage and pics of us together kissing. Everyone that seen it goes 'awwwwww' but it is not cheesy ?

Anyway, I showed him the video and he loved it. He really did. And thanked a lot for me making it and said it was really time well spent by doing it.

So Im so excited about this fantastic video, that I asked him if he was all right if I facebooked it! Ouch! The moment I asked I immediately regretted it! I can see how this was a way to try to manipulate him or force him to show himself with me, to show people we were together. Stupid bitch for doing it! I should have been more secure of myself.

In anycase he said he prefers I don't post it and I said sure, don't worry, I will keep it private, don't worry. He says he trusts me.

I think this was the moment when he felt I was being manipulative or trying to push him to do something.

This was probably the moment were I started loosing him. (Beggining of November)

And now Im tired of myself ? You reading must be too!

Seems to me a break between us is probably the best and then see what the future brings.

Arrghhh I'll miss him.

One of the things that used to irritate me about my ex aries friend was that she didn't give me the respect of being a friend. What i mean is, she led an instagram life where everything was always perfect. Never gave anyone the opportunity to be her friend, to be vulnerable around us. Shit she hid a whole year of her life from me. Meanwhile im being vulnerable with her. I really wish she had had the guts to be vulnerable with her friends. She feared looking dumb. Its okay. Thats what friends are for.?

Anyways. Its hard as a scorp moon to ccarry on multiple affairs. I surely can do. My focus is singular.

Now, the video thing moved me. That was super sweet. The facebook posting request would.terrify the shyt out of me. Not because im ashamed, but because it was something special between you and me. But i get it, aries are.proud people and like to.boast.

It is like another form of an ultimatum.

I dont think that was the tipping point tho.