How do Saggs react to ultimatums? (Page 2)

My advice still stands tho. Why be sad and dickless when you could happy and full of d.i.cck?

Date him and date someone else.

Ahhh DMV, you make me laugh, you really do ?

Regarding friends, I mainly dont want to talk much about this because they - as friends do - will ask me how the situation is and so on. And it is so unclear to me that I prefer to keep them away from it. But I let people into my life...just this story with the Sag Im more confortable keeping to myself and maybe 2 good friends only. And dxpnet! 😉

The FB post... I know!!! The moment I was asking I was regreting it!! Lame lame lame.

Ahh the video is awesome. Maybe I'll show you sometime ?

Posted by DMV
I dont think that was the tipping point tho.

No? I always had this episode on the back of my mind as a red flag.

Posted by IamAries

Posted by Ophiuchus

Posted by IamAries
But he keeps on seeing me and he is not seeing any one else.

Seems like he's already committed.

I don't feel his commitment.

I just felt that lately we were just meeting for sex.

No phone calls, no checking on how the other person is doing, no good night messages, no nothing. Just agreeing on when to meet next, chat about life, sleep together and bye.

I mean, when we are together we connect, it is more than sex! But thats the emptiness in between meets that destroyed it for me. Made me feel lonely.

click to expand

I see.

Posted by IamAries

Posted by DMV
I dont think that was the tipping point tho.

No? I always had this episode on the back of my mind as a red flag.

click to expand

Nah. It wouldnt sway me.

I think he honestly enjoys you but just doesnt want a relationship yet.

I thank you for the honesty @Seraphlight !

It is over now. I said I wanted to stop meeting him since I felt it was becoming just sex based and he said he if thats what I want he will respect that.

Voilá!

Like this:

"You see, great majority of my friends dont know this story. They know some of it, but not this dramatic details.

I rather them not to see me as the drama queen I am and think I have it all together, and so I reveal myself to strangers online instead"

This is exactly what brought me to this forum.



And now that I'm sad and heart broken i want to see everyone else's relationships work because i don't want anyone else to be feeling miserable like me.

So i don't know really how different sag males are from females but every time i read your posts i think that you already had what you wanted he just doesn't want to feel trapped. I feel like just cos you don't have a verbal commitment like calling each other bf/gf as that would make him feel trapped it doesn't mean he's not committed. He's just committed without a label. He told you he wasn't sleeping with anyone else. He travelled abroad with you and INTRODUCED YOU TO FAMILY. i feel like that's pretty big.

My own fear of commitment would have also made me not want the video on fb, but that would not have been a breaking point. Actually I'd see that as positive as you asked permission and respected his request not to.

When my ex taurus bf told me he thought he was falling in love with me after the first 3 months together, i dumped him! It just totally freaked me out because i started thinking hold on is this the person i want to marry? I wasn't even calling him my bf yet and had already told him i wasn't comfortable with him calling me gf cos i just feel very restrained with those labels, even though i was 100% committed to him. Eventually i went back to him cos i forced myself to calm down and ignore that he used the 'L' word. It took me about 9 months before i could say it to him myself, and our relationship lasted 4 yrs.

But really, i would have been happier never having to call each other bf/gf .

I can't explain why commitment just scares me. It's not like im looking for something else or wanting to keep options open. MAybe it is cos once i give my word, i will not break it (cos that would be dishonest- if i promise something i hold to it) so im more slow and cautious to commit verbally as once it is said there is no going back. Don't know if that is just me or a Sag thing...?

Yep commitment scares me too so it has to be a well designed pretty cage that i would never suspect.

The first memtion of commitment does scare me. I start thinking, "what if i wanted to go to Rome on a whim, will this person have a problem?" or "what if i feel like doing something else today instead of whats planned, this person wont let me and will be pissed." alll kinds of what of scenarios play out.

With time and none of that commitment talk, eventually i start to relax and put my fears to bed.

Posted by DMV
Yep commitment scares me too so it has to be a well designed pretty cage that i would never suspect.

The first memtion of commitment does scare me. I start thinking, "what if i wanted to go to Rome on a whim, will this person have a problem?" or "what if i feel like doing something else today instead of whats planned, this person wont let me and will be pissed." alll kinds of what of scenarios play out.

With time and none of that commitment talk, eventually i start to relax and put my fears to bed.

EXACTLY! that is exactly how i think! Wow i never fully realised other people would think the same way as me!

I feel like this analogy sums up how to make me commit: I'm a free bird and meet someone who lets me fly about as I please. Eventually they might buy a beautiful little cage and just say nothing about it but deck it out to have everything a little bird's heart could desire, and they just hang it up in a pretty little corner and leave it there with the door open, never ever suggesting I check it out but just having it there as a safe, comfortable, pretty little home if I want it. Then maybe one day I'd decide to check it out,take a look inside and see how I like it: but they never even mention that I've been inside, the door stays wide open-no for that matter there IS NO DOOR- they had it removed when setting up the cage for this free bird. So eventually I keep coming and going to the cage,maybe stay for a night to try it out,then for a couple of days, eventually I decide it's just so warm and cosy and pretty and has everything a little bird could ever dream of having and so I settle in for good, but no words have ever been exchanged about it...The cage was just offered quietly and with no force or coercion, and eventually this little free bird decided to stay because it's everything she wanted and she knows there is no threat of being trapped because the door is not even there to close her in...

What a beautiful way of putting that cage life!

Wow. Yes, i agree with it all.

The best man i found for that was a older sag. He understood. With Aries tho, seems to be a bit of a disconnect and the relationship feels one sided.

Anyways...yes!

Jenny from Forreat Gump was sag like to me. She eventually ended up with Forrest because he told her that she could always come back. Plus he never waited around 4 her. He went out and has grand stories to tell her. Maybe they were both centaurs.

Music to my ears.

Posted by Sagaussi
"You see, great majority of my friends dont know this story. They know some of it, but not this dramatic details.

I rather them not to see me as the drama queen I am and think I have it all together, and so I reveal myself to strangers online instead"

This is exactly what brought me to this forum.



And now that I'm sad and heart broken i want to see everyone else's relationships work because i don't want anyone else to be feeling miserable like me.

So i don't know really how different sag males are from females but every time i read your posts i think that you already had what you wanted he just doesn't want to feel trapped. I feel like just cos you don't have a verbal commitment like calling each other bf/gf as that would make him feel trapped it doesn't mean he's not committed. He's just committed without a label. He told you he wasn't sleeping with anyone else. He travelled abroad with you and INTRODUCED YOU TO FAMILY. i feel like that's pretty big.

My own fear of commitment would have also made me not want the video on fb, but that would not have been a breaking point. Actually I'd see that as positive as you asked permission and respected his request not to.

When my ex taurus bf told me he thought he was falling in love with me after the first 3 months together, i dumped him! It just totally freaked me out because i started thinking hold on is this the person i want to marry? I wasn't even calling him my bf yet and had already told him i wasn't comfortable with him calling me gf cos i just feel very restrained with those labels, even though i was 100% committed to him. Eventually i went back to him cos i forced myself to calm down and ignore that he used the 'L' word. It took me about 9 months before i could say it to him myself, and our relationship lasted 4 yrs.

But really, i would have been happier never having to call each other bf/gf .

I can't explain why commitment just scares me. It's not like im looking for something else or wanting to keep options open. MAybe it is cos once i give my word, i will not break it (cos that would be dishonest- if i promise something i hold to it) so im more slow and cautious to commit verbally as once it is said there is no going back. Don't know if that is just me or a Sag thing...?

Hey @sagausi, Im really sorry to hear you are heartbroken. I really am! Im sending a hug your way and I hope you find your peace.

It seems you look at my story and feel like I had it all and I wasted it. I want to clarify that he never introduced me to his family. He introduced me to his best friend and told his parents he was going to travel with a girl he met (me). I was never introduced.

Believe me, since mid / end Nov our relationship resembles nothing like a gf/bf relationship. We were even 10days without saying a word to each other between Nov-Dec.

Great insight you gave on how some Sags are scared of commitment!!

I used to say i had a fear of commitment but i think it was more a case for fear of abadonment.



I also want the tricked out cage i walk/gallop/fly into as well. : )

Ultimatums help me. i need my choices so i know what's going on.

''Thanks, I'll take option 2 please.''

It's to the point. i like it!

Posted by IamAries

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by DMV

Posted by pinkbird03
He sounds like he didn't care very much. What a jerk ?

How does he sound like a jerk?

Exactly...

I remember the last thread the OP wrote on this situation and what annoys me is people keep blaming him for her irresponsibility. Not to be mean, but it's time to get real and speak the truth and stop validating bad behavior.

OP, you setting ultimatums demonstrates that it's about what you want and less about "us" and the Sag figured this out long ago. A person who's pure in their motives and intentions doesn't have to try to force someone into something...especially after they've told you 80 ways from Sunday THAT THEY ARE NOT READY.

You pulling this is the equivalent of running head first into a tree and getting mad when the tree doesn't move...and getting mad at the tree. It's a tree. He's shown you who he is. It goes back to the old cliche about the Scorpion and the frog.

People will be who they are no matter how much you try to show them, tell them, steer them. With that being said, the responsibility lies with you. You slept with this guy without getting to know him, what his plans and intentions are, and actually establishing a foundation for something long term. But what you're showing is that the Sag is nothing but some challenge or conquest for you and your ego is your weakness. I don't condone his behavior either but that is how you come off. He cares about you, but will not tell you what it is about you that makes him not want to commit...but it's not your job to change him...that never works especially with us.

So your choices are this, either you accept the situation for what it is and stop complaining about it or you move on. I reiterate...hes told you that he doesn't want one and we can sit here and go through a pointless debate over whether he should and with you but you're both adults and not children. Good luck

Just because he told me he is not ready for a relationship it doesnt mean he isnt also somewhat responsible for the feelings he provokes in me. Like Saint Exupery says in the Little Prince: "you become responsible forever for what you've tamed".

click to expand

Maybe it's my Leo moon but this last paragraph doesn't make sense to me. While someone may invoke feelings within us it is us who give those feelings power to control us. When I say power I don't mean "authority." It means by them being who they truly are , they come in and change our environment and emotional state. That's why it's incumbent upon us to thoroughly vet someone before we let them in.

Good luck

Posted by IamAries

Posted by Sagaussi
"You see, great majority of my friends dont know this story. They know some of it, but not this dramatic details.

I rather them not to see me as the drama queen I am and think I have it all together, and so I reveal myself to strangers online instead"

This is exactly what brought me to this forum.



And now that I'm sad and heart broken i want to see everyone else's relationships work because i don't want anyone else to be feeling miserable like me.

So i don't know really how different sag males are from females but every time i read your posts i think that you already had what you wanted he just doesn't want to feel trapped. I feel like just cos you don't have a verbal commitment like calling each other bf/gf as that would make him feel trapped it doesn't mean he's not committed. He's just committed without a label. He told you he wasn't sleeping with anyone else. He travelled abroad with you and INTRODUCED YOU TO FAMILY. i feel like that's pretty big.

My own fear of commitment would have also made me not want the video on fb, but that would not have been a breaking point. Actually I'd see that as positive as you asked permission and respected his request not to.

When my ex taurus bf told me he thought he was falling in love with me after the first 3 months together, i dumped him! It just totally freaked me out because i started thinking hold on is this the person i want to marry? I wasn't even calling him my bf yet and had already told him i wasn't comfortable with him calling me gf cos i just feel very restrained with those labels, even though i was 100% committed to him. Eventually i went back to him cos i forced myself to calm down and ignore that he used the 'L' word. It took me about 9 months before i could say it to him myself, and our relationship lasted 4 yrs.

But really, i would have been happier never having to call each other bf/gf .

I can't explain why commitment just scares me. It's not like im looking for something else or wanting to keep options open. MAybe it is cos once i give my word, i will not break it (cos that would be dishonest- if i promise something i hold to it) so im more slow and cautious to commit verbally as once it is said there is no going back. Don't know if that is just me or a Sag thing...?

Hey @sagausi, Im really sorry to hear you are heartbroken. I really am! Im sending a hug your way and I hope you find your peace.

It seems you look at my story and feel like I had it all and I wasted it. I want to clarify that he never introduced me to his family. He introduced me to his best friend and told his parents he was going to travel with a girl he met (me). I was never introduced.

Believe me, since mid / end Nov our relationship resembles nothing like a gf/bf relationship. We were even 10days without saying a word to each other between Nov-Dec.

Great insight you gave on how some Sags are scared of commitment!!

click to expand

No, I don't feel like you wasted anything! I just feel like maybe there is some misunderstanding here due to different personalities and ways of viewing things, and I want you to find happiness!! So when I read your story I just keep seeing things from his perspective because as a Sag I can relate, and the big thing that stands out to me is that it seems you already did have his commitment, I mean at least as much as I see it.But of course trying to explain all the details of what has been going on between you and him via internet is basically impossible so no one can know except you. And so at the end of the day my advice would be follow your heart/gut/instinct. I think you already know what you need and want to do, don't listen to random people on the internet who don't know you and for the most part cannot be completely sympathetic to your story since we do not personally know you and so while we all may care in part for a stranger across the world, no one can care in the same way as the people close to you who actually know everything that is going on and/or know you and love you.

Personally I am so glad that I decided to follow my heart and gut with my own problem. I had a lot of different responses from people here and also the few friends I told about my story. But at the end of the day I already knew what I needed to do and while it in part conflicted with the advice I received, I did it anyway because I felt it was the right thing to do and as of last night I have reached the peace I was longing for.

So ultimately, as much as I can sympathise with your Sag guy as I feel I relate a bit to how he might be acting based on the very limited amount of information I know about your story, I would say don't listen to any of us! Do what you know is right for you. If that is to leave him, then do so. But if you only did that because of the people here pushing you to do it, then it will not sit right with you. It might be the right thing for one person to do but not another- if it is wrong for you but right for someone else, nothing can change the fact that it is wrong for you!

Originally you asked how Sag deal with ultimatums. You wanted to say to him- either commit, or call it quits. So that I guess is what you really wanted to do.... and did you do that? or did you just drop things? All I am trying to say is follow what you know is right!!!

Wish you luck and happiness!

To add to that, I really am starting to think that when people ask for advice, we already know what advice we want to hear because we've already made up our mind. All we are seeking by asking for advice, is for someone to advise us to do what we already decided we wanted to do, and in so doing validate our decision.

Welcome to DXP

Posted by sagsagsag

Posted by Sagaussi
To add to that, I really am starting to think that when people ask for advice, we already know what advice we want to hear because we've already made up our mind. All we are seeking by asking for advice, is for someone to advise us to do what we already decided we wanted to do, and in so doing validate our decision.

And that is what happened when you seek advise already having a "belief" planted in your mind, the cognitive consonance and disonance theory will play part, only taking in the info that validates/support your "belief" and unconsciously eliminating those info that is contrary to your belief ?

click to expand

Just listened to this. Then read your response. Serendipitous.

Posted by Lunabee
Ultimatums help me. i need my choices so i know what's going on.

''Thanks, I'll take option 2 please.''

It's to the point. i like it!

This is interesting to hear. This particular Sag seemed to like that I made the decisions for both. If I was to ask: left or right he would be like..ahh dont know, this side this, the other side that. And then I would say, we go right and he was like: ok!

Or: are we meeting today? And he would say: ah not sure if it is late, or if I need to to this, dont know...and then I would say: Im there in 20mnts. And he would say: Ok! ?

Shit, now thinking about it I shouldnt have asked him if he wanted to be in a relationship (well I never asked directly either). I should have just said: we are in a relationship!!

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by IamAries

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by DMV

Posted by pinkbird03
He sounds like he didn't care very much. What a jerk ?

How does he sound like a jerk?

Exactly...

I remember the last thread the OP wrote on this situation and what annoys me is people keep blaming him for her irresponsibility. Not to be mean, but it's time to get real and speak the truth and stop validating bad behavior.

OP, you setting ultimatums demonstrates that it's about what you want and less about "us" and the Sag figured this out long ago. A person who's pure in their motives and intentions doesn't have to try to force someone into something...especially after they've told you 80 ways from Sunday THAT THEY ARE NOT READY.

You pulling this is the equivalent of running head first into a tree and getting mad when the tree doesn't move...and getting mad at the tree. It's a tree. He's shown you who he is. It goes back to the old cliche about the Scorpion and the frog.

People will be who they are no matter how much you try to show them, tell them, steer them. With that being said, the responsibility lies with you. You slept with this guy without getting to know him, what his plans and intentions are, and actually establishing a foundation for something long term. But what you're showing is that the Sag is nothing but some challenge or conquest for you and your ego is your weakness. I don't condone his behavior either but that is how you come off. He cares about you, but will not tell you what it is about you that makes him not want to commit...but it's not your job to change him...that never works especially with us.

So your choices are this, either you accept the situation for what it is and stop complaining about it or you move on. I reiterate...hes told you that he doesn't want one and we can sit here and go through a pointless debate over whether he should and with you but you're both adults and not children. Good luck

Just because he told me he is not ready for a relationship it doesnt mean he isnt also somewhat responsible for the feelings he provokes in me. Like Saint Exupery says in the Little Prince: "you become responsible forever for what you've tamed".

Maybe it's my Leo moon but this last paragraph doesn't make sense to me. While someone may invoke feelings within us it is us who give those feelings power to control us. When I say power I don't mean "authority." It means by them being who they truly are , they come in and change our environment and emotional state. That's why it's incumbent upon us to thoroughly vet someone before we let them in.

Good luck

click to expand

When you say 'by them being who they truly are' makes them sound so innocent.

On one side people only go as far as we let them go, I give you that. But on the other hand, it can be seen as selfish to realise Im invoking feelings on someone and even though I will never be able to match those feelings, to keep on feeding them just because Im getting something out of it.

(Sorry, english is not my first language and it is difficult to explain what I mean)

We can always agree to disagree ?

Posted by IamAries

Posted by Lunabee
Ultimatums help me. i need my choices so i know what's going on.

''Thanks, I'll take option 2 please.''

It's to the point. i like it!

This is interesting to hear. This particular Sag seemed to like that I made the decisions for both. If I was to ask: left or right he would be like..ahh dont know, this side this, the other side that. And then I would say, we go right and he was like: ok!

Or: are we meeting today? And he would say: ah not sure if it is late, or if I need to to this, dont know...and then I would say: Im there in 20mnts. And he would say: Ok! ?

Shit, now thinking about it I shouldnt have asked him if he wanted to be in a relationship (well I never asked directly either). I should have just said: we are in a relationship!!

click to expand

Ha! Probably, I'm the same way. I like decisions being made for me - sometimes lol.

Well que Sera, a better man awaits you!

Posted by Sagaussi

Posted by IamAries

Posted by Sagaussi
"You see, great majority of my friends dont know this story. They know some of it, but not this dramatic details.

I rather them not to see me as the drama queen I am and think I have it all together, and so I reveal myself to strangers online instead"

This is exactly what brought me to this forum.



And now that I'm sad and heart broken i want to see everyone else's relationships work because i don't want anyone else to be feeling miserable like me.

So i don't know really how different sag males are from females but every time i read your posts i think that you already had what you wanted he just doesn't want to feel trapped. I feel like just cos you don't have a verbal commitment like calling each other bf/gf as that would make him feel trapped it doesn't mean he's not committed. He's just committed without a label. He told you he wasn't sleeping with anyone else. He travelled abroad with you and INTRODUCED YOU TO FAMILY. i feel like that's pretty big.

My own fear of commitment would have also made me not want the video on fb, but that would not have been a breaking point. Actually I'd see that as positive as you asked permission and respected his request not to.

When my ex taurus bf told me he thought he was falling in love with me after the first 3 months together, i dumped him! It just totally freaked me out because i started thinking hold on is this the person i want to marry? I wasn't even calling him my bf yet and had already told him i wasn't comfortable with him calling me gf cos i just feel very restrained with those labels, even though i was 100% committed to him. Eventually i went back to him cos i forced myself to calm down and ignore that he used the 'L' word. It took me about 9 months before i could say it to him myself, and our relationship lasted 4 yrs.

But really, i would have been happier never having to call each other bf/gf .

I can't explain why commitment just scares me. It's not like im looking for something else or wanting to keep options open. MAybe it is cos once i give my word, i will not break it (cos that would be dishonest- if i promise something i hold to it) so im more slow and cautious to commit verbally as once it is said there is no going back. Don't know if that is just me or a Sag thing...?

Hey @sagausi, Im really sorry to hear you are heartbroken. I really am! Im sending a hug your way and I hope you find your peace.

It seems you look at my story and feel like I had it all and I wasted it. I want to clarify that he never introduced me to his family. He introduced me to his best friend and told his parents he was going to travel with a girl he met (me). I was never introduced.

Believe me, since mid / end Nov our relationship resembles nothing like a gf/bf relationship. We were even 10days without saying a word to each other between Nov-Dec.

Great insight you gave on how some Sags are scared of commitment!!

No, I don't feel like you wasted anything! I just feel like maybe there is some misunderstanding here due to different personalities and ways of viewing things, and I want you to find happiness!! So when I read your story I just keep seeing things from his perspective because as a Sag I can relate, and the big thing that stands out to me is that it seems you already did have his commitment, I mean at least as much as I see it.But of course trying to explain all the details of what has been going on between you and him via internet is basically impossible so no one can know except you. And so at the end of the day my advice would be follow your heart/gut/instinct. I think you already know what you need and want to do, don't listen to random people on the internet who don't know you and for the most part cannot be completely sympathetic to your story since we do not personally know you and so while we all may care in part for a stranger across the world, no one can care in the same way as the people close to you who actually know everything that is going on and/or know you and love you.

Personally I am so glad that I decided to follow my heart and gut with my own problem. I had a lot of different responses from people here and also the few friends I told about my story. But at the end of the day I already knew what I needed to do and while it in part conflicted with the advice I received, I did it anyway because I felt it was the right thing to do and as of last night I have reached the peace I was longing for.

So ultimately, as much as I can sympathise with your Sag guy as I feel I relate a bit to how he might be acting based on the very limited amount of information I know about your story, I would say don't listen to any of us! Do what you know is right for you. If that is to leave him, then do so. But if you only did that because of the people here pushing you to do it, then it will not sit right with you. It might be the right thing for one person to do but not another- if it is wrong for you but right for someone else, nothing can change the fact that it is wrong for you!

Originally you asked how Sag deal with ultimatums. You wanted to say to him- either commit, or call it quits. So that I guess is what you really wanted to do.... and did you do that? or did you just drop things? All I am trying to say is follow what you know is right!!!

Wish you luck and happiness!

click to expand

I want to comment in your post properly, as thats the least you deserve for taking the time to give such a heartfelt opinion, so I will come back to this.

But I just got home from a disastrous date and I need some sleep! ?

Arghh this guys...it was all about how good he looks, how many times he goes to the gym, how much money he makes, how he wouldnt mind I was his secretary and walk around the office in high heels (!), how fat women are horrible....Seriously! Have to forget those last 3hours happened.

Dating is so horrendous!

Posted by IamAries
I dont like ultimatums, hate if ppl do it to me and never did it to anyone If I well recall.

But my Sagg seems to react to them.

If he is distant or behaving like an ass and I call him out on it, he comes back nice and sweet.

This week I told him to stop being an ass. Or keep on being an ass but stop seeing me. And so again he comes back immediatly all nice.

Im in a cross road. We've been seeing each other for 6 months. During this time after travelling together he said he is not ready for a relationship. But he keeps on seeing me and he is not seeing any one else.

Im not sure how long I can keep it cool.

Sex is becoming really wow. We are loosing all inhibitations. But I know it is more than sex.

On one hand I want to give him his time and space. On the other hand I just want him to commit to me for fear of loosing him.

Do I put him against the wall and say: or you commit or we are done?

How would a Sagg react to this??

Odd. My ex-bf is a Saggy (4 December). He wanted to move in with me right away!!! 😱 He'd text me 10,000 times a day, call me since he wanted to talk while driving home, etc. Your Saggy is mighty different. Thank your lucky stars he doesn't want a commitment just yet as he is a "thinker" and not crazy FAST! Hmmmmm. Fire sign that isn't FAST.

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

PS The ultimatum you give him OBVIOUSLY doesn't bother him. Give a Piscean an ultimatum and boy we will let you have it!! 😡

Posted by EvatheDiva

Posted by IamAries
I dont like ultimatums, hate if ppl do it to me and never did it to anyone If I well recall.

But my Sagg seems to react to them.

If he is distant or behaving like an ass and I call him out on it, he comes back nice and sweet.

This week I told him to stop being an ass. Or keep on being an ass but stop seeing me. And so again he comes back immediatly all nice.

Im in a cross road. We've been seeing each other for 6 months. During this time after travelling together he said he is not ready for a relationship. But he keeps on seeing me and he is not seeing any one else.

Im not sure how long I can keep it cool.

Sex is becoming really wow. We are loosing all inhibitations. But I know it is more than sex.

On one hand I want to give him his time and space. On the other hand I just want him to commit to me for fear of loosing him.

Do I put him against the wall and say: or you commit or we are done?

How would a Sagg react to this??

Odd. My ex-bf is a Saggy (4 December). He wanted to move in with me right away!!! 😱 He'd text me 10,000 times a day, call me since he wanted to talk while driving home, etc. Your Saggy is mighty different. Thank your lucky stars he doesn't want a commitment just yet as he is a "thinker" and not crazy FAST! Hmmmmm. Fire sign that isn't FAST.

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

PS The ultimatum you give him OBVIOUSLY doesn't bother him. Give a Piscean an ultimatum and boy we will let you have it!! 😡

click to expand

I dont know if youve read this thread.but OP is still sad over the breakup.

doesnt make it any better for you to throw in how your sag did everything x100000^3

Posted by Sagaussi

Posted by IamAries

Posted by Sagaussi
"You see, great majority of my friends dont know this story. They know some of it, but not this dramatic details.

I rather them not to see me as the drama queen I am and think I have it all together, and so I reveal myself to strangers online instead"

This is exactly what brought me to this forum.



And now that I'm sad and heart broken i want to see everyone else's relationships work because i don't want anyone else to be feeling miserable like me.

So i don't know really how different sag males are from females but every time i read your posts i think that you already had what you wanted he just doesn't want to feel trapped. I feel like just cos you don't have a verbal commitment like calling each other bf/gf as that would make him feel trapped it doesn't mean he's not committed. He's just committed without a label. He told you he wasn't sleeping with anyone else. He travelled abroad with you and INTRODUCED YOU TO FAMILY. i feel like that's pretty big.

My own fear of commitment would have also made me not want the video on fb, but that would not have been a breaking point. Actually I'd see that as positive as you asked permission and respected his request not to.

When my ex taurus bf told me he thought he was falling in love with me after the first 3 months together, i dumped him! It just totally freaked me out because i started thinking hold on is this the person i want to marry? I wasn't even calling him my bf yet and had already told him i wasn't comfortable with him calling me gf cos i just feel very restrained with those labels, even though i was 100% committed to him. Eventually i went back to him cos i forced myself to calm down and ignore that he used the 'L' word. It took me about 9 months before i could say it to him myself, and our relationship lasted 4 yrs.

But really, i would have been happier never having to call each other bf/gf .

I can't explain why commitment just scares me. It's not like im looking for something else or wanting to keep options open. MAybe it is cos once i give my word, i will not break it (cos that would be dishonest- if i promise something i hold to it) so im more slow and cautious to commit verbally as once it is said there is no going back. Don't know if that is just me or a Sag thing...?

Hey @sagausi, Im really sorry to hear you are heartbroken. I really am! Im sending a hug your way and I hope you find your peace.

It seems you look at my story and feel like I had it all and I wasted it. I want to clarify that he never introduced me to his family. He introduced me to his best friend and told his parents he was going to travel with a girl he met (me). I was never introduced.

Believe me, since mid / end Nov our relationship resembles nothing like a gf/bf relationship. We were even 10days without saying a word to each other between Nov-Dec.

Great insight you gave on how some Sags are scared of commitment!!

No, I don't feel like you wasted anything! I just feel like maybe there is some misunderstanding here due to different personalities and ways of viewing things, and I want you to find happiness!! So when I read your story I just keep seeing things from his perspective because as a Sag I can relate, and the big thing that stands out to me is that it seems you already did have his commitment, I mean at least as much as I see it.But of course trying to explain all the details of what has been going on between you and him via internet is basically impossible so no one can know except you. And so at the end of the day my advice would be follow your heart/gut/instinct. I think you already know what you need and want to do, don't listen to random people on the internet who don't know you and for the most part cannot be completely sympathetic to your story since we do not personally know you and so while we all may care in part for a stranger across the world, no one can care in the same way as the people close to you who actually know everything that is going on and/or know you and love you.

Personally I am so glad that I decided to follow my heart and gut with my own problem. I had a lot of different responses from people here and also the few friends I told about my story. But at the end of the day I already knew what I needed to do and while it in part conflicted with the advice I received, I did it anyway because I felt it was the right thing to do and as of last night I have reached the peace I was longing for.

So ultimately, as much as I can sympathise with your Sag guy as I feel I relate a bit to how he might be acting based on the very limited amount of information I know about your story, I would say don't listen to any of us! Do what you know is right for you. If that is to leave him, then do so. But if you only did that because of the people here pushing you to do it, then it will not sit right with you. It might be the right thing for one person to do but not another- if it is wrong for you but right for someone else, nothing can change the fact that it is wrong for you!

Originally you asked how Sag deal with ultimatums. You wanted to say to him- either commit, or call it quits. So that I guess is what you really wanted to do.... and did you do that? or did you just drop things? All I am trying to say is follow what you know is right!!!

Wish you luck and happiness!

click to expand

When I started posting in this forum, it was not because I was after validation (at least consciously), it was more because I wanted to take it out of my chest and also hear other perspectives.

First it was because I was overwhelmed when I met him, he seemed all I ever wanted and I didnt want to mess up. Then things were not going as expected and I really wanted advice.

I actually think I learned one or two things here. Im impatient and impulsive and some of the comments made me rethink my actions and calmed me down. Of course in the end I will always go with my gut but Im also thankful for the advice!

On paper it might seem he was committed to me, but I was not feeling it and I was not seeing it. And I could play with it but feel bad inside, or make a call. So I made the call.

My sister (a Taurus) is married to a Sag. He is great with her. Super devoted, a true partner. My cousin, another Sag, is all in love with his gf. Way too much display of love for my own taste ?, but he is always speaking about her, always with her, their social media is declaration of love after declaration of love. I wouldn't want this. This would scare me away. But the point is that I see Sags of different ages very committed to their partners. Mine looked unsure. Well, he said so himself.

I ended because I need peace of mind. I didnt even gave him the direct ultimatum I was speaking about on the post. I just told him: time to stop. It really is.

I was by his side when he was still recovering from breaking up with his gf, when a colleague passed away, when someone attempted to break into his house, I shot his confidence up to the roof, he shared with me very personal situations from his life and I listened....I cant do more. And it was not I was asking to meet or speak everyday. I need my space too! But I needed a little bit more attention, knowing that he cared.

It has been almost a week since I ended things. I will not get in touch. He says he respects my decision so I dont think he will make contact either. So thats it.

Maybe next time I'll meet a Sag I will remember your beautiful cage description ?

Posted by IamAries

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by IamAries

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by DMV

Posted by pinkbird03
He sounds like he didn't care very much. What a jerk ?

How does he sound like a jerk?

Exactly...

I remember the last thread the OP wrote on this situation and what annoys me is people keep blaming him for her irresponsibility. Not to be mean, but it's time to get real and speak the truth and stop validating bad behavior.

OP, you setting ultimatums demonstrates that it's about what you want and less about "us" and the Sag figured this out long ago. A person who's pure in their motives and intentions doesn't have to try to force someone into something...especially after they've told you 80 ways from Sunday THAT THEY ARE NOT READY.

You pulling this is the equivalent of running head first into a tree and getting mad when the tree doesn't move...and getting mad at the tree. It's a tree. He's shown you who he is. It goes back to the old cliche about the Scorpion and the frog.

People will be who they are no matter how much you try to show them, tell them, steer them. With that being said, the responsibility lies with you. You slept with this guy without getting to know him, what his plans and intentions are, and actually establishing a foundation for something long term. But what you're showing is that the Sag is nothing but some challenge or conquest for you and your ego is your weakness. I don't condone his behavior either but that is how you come off. He cares about you, but will not tell you what it is about you that makes him not want to commit...but it's not your job to change him...that never works especially with us.

So your choices are this, either you accept the situation for what it is and stop complaining about it or you move on. I reiterate...hes told you that he doesn't want one and we can sit here and go through a pointless debate over whether he should and with you but you're both adults and not children. Good luck

Just because he told me he is not ready for a relationship it doesnt mean he isnt also somewhat responsible for the feelings he provokes in me. Like Saint Exupery says in the Little Prince: "you become responsible forever for what you've tamed".

Maybe it's my Leo moon but this last paragraph doesn't make sense to me. While someone may invoke feelings within us it is us who give those feelings power to control us. When I say power I don't mean "authority." It means by them being who they truly are , they come in and change our environment and emotional state. That's why it's incumbent upon us to thoroughly vet someone before we let them in.

Good luck

When you say 'by them being who they truly are' makes them sound so innocent.

On one side people only go as far as we let them go, I give you that. But on the other hand, it can be seen as selfish to realise Im invoking feelings on someone and even though I will never be able to match those feelings, to keep on feeding them just because Im getting something out of it.

(Sorry, english is not my first language and it is difficult to explain what I mean)

We can always agree to disagree ?

click to expand

No I'm not making him or people who do this seem innocent in fact quite the opposite and the last half of your paragraph is exactly what I'm saying. Whether he's confused, a player or insert any description you'd like, the fact is he is being selfish...but so are you if you're honest about it. Again...ultimatums...he's told you he doesn't want a commitment and proves it through his actions. It's not your job to fix him, "or to make him see the light." You're allowing him to keep hurting you...that is your responsibility whether you choose to see it or not.

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree...good luck 🙂

Posted by IamAries

Posted by Sagaussi

Posted by IamAries

Posted by Sagaussi
"You see, great majority of my friends dont know this story. They know some of it, but not this dramatic details.

I rather them not to see me as the drama queen I am and think I have it all together, and so I reveal myself to strangers online instead"

This is exactly what brought me to this forum.



And now that I'm sad and heart broken i want to see everyone else's relationships work because i don't want anyone else to be feeling miserable like me.

So i don't know really how different sag males are from females but every time i read your posts i think that you already had what you wanted he just doesn't want to feel trapped. I feel like just cos you don't have a verbal commitment like calling each other bf/gf as that would make him feel trapped it doesn't mean he's not committed. He's just committed without a label. He told you he wasn't sleeping with anyone else. He travelled abroad with you and INTRODUCED YOU TO FAMILY. i feel like that's pretty big.

My own fear of commitment would have also made me not want the video on fb, but that would not have been a breaking point. Actually I'd see that as positive as you asked permission and respected his request not to.

When my ex taurus bf told me he thought he was falling in love with me after the first 3 months together, i dumped him! It just totally freaked me out because i started thinking hold on is this the person i want to marry? I wasn't even calling him my bf yet and had already told him i wasn't comfortable with him calling me gf cos i just feel very restrained with those labels, even though i was 100% committed to him. Eventually i went back to him cos i forced myself to calm down and ignore that he used the 'L' word. It took me about 9 months before i could say it to him myself, and our relationship lasted 4 yrs.

But really, i would have been happier never having to call each other bf/gf .

I can't explain why commitment just scares me. It's not like im looking for something else or wanting to keep options open. MAybe it is cos once i give my word, i will not break it (cos that would be dishonest- if i promise something i hold to it) so im more slow and cautious to commit verbally as once it is said there is no going back. Don't know if that is just me or a Sag thing...?

Hey @sagausi, Im really sorry to hear you are heartbroken. I really am! Im sending a hug your way and I hope you find your peace.

It seems you look at my story and feel like I had it all and I wasted it. I want to clarify that he never introduced me to his family. He introduced me to his best friend and told his parents he was going to travel with a girl he met (me). I was never introduced.

Believe me, since mid / end Nov our relationship resembles nothing like a gf/bf relationship. We were even 10days without saying a word to each other between Nov-Dec.

Great insight you gave on how some Sags are scared of commitment!!

No, I don't feel like you wasted anything! I just feel like maybe there is some misunderstanding here due to different personalities and ways of viewing things, and I want you to find happiness!! So when I read your story I just keep seeing things from his perspective because as a Sag I can relate, and the big thing that stands out to me is that it seems you already did have his commitment, I mean at least as much as I see it.But of course trying to explain all the details of what has been going on between you and him via internet is basically impossible so no one can know except you. And so at the end of the day my advice would be follow your heart/gut/instinct. I think you already know what you need and want to do, don't listen to random people on the internet who don't know you and for the most part cannot be completely sympathetic to your story since we do not personally know you and so while we all may care in part for a stranger across the world, no one can care in the same way as the people close to you who actually know everything that is going on and/or know you and love you.

Personally I am so glad that I decided to follow my heart and gut with my own problem. I had a lot of different responses from people here and also the few friends I told about my story. But at the end of the day I already knew what I needed to do and while it in part conflicted with the advice I received, I did it anyway because I felt it was the right thing to do and as of last night I have reached the peace I was longing for.

So ultimately, as much as I can sympathise with your Sag guy as I feel I relate a bit to how he might be acting based on the very limited amount of information I know about your story, I would say don't listen to any of us! Do what you know is right for you. If that is to leave him, then do so. But if you only did that because of the people here pushing you to do it, then it will not sit right with you. It might be the right thing for one person to do but not another- if it is wrong for you but right for someone else, nothing can change the fact that it is wrong for you!

Originally you asked how Sag deal with ultimatums. You wanted to say to him- either commit, or call it quits. So that I guess is what you really wanted to do.... and did you do that? or did you just drop things? All I am trying to say is follow what you know is right!!!

Wish you luck and happiness!

When I started posting in this forum, it was not because I was after validation (at least consciously), it was more because I wanted to take it out of my chest and also hear other perspectives.

First it was because I was overwhelmed when I met him, he seemed all I ever wanted and I didnt want to mess up. Then things were not going as expected and I really wanted advice.

I actually think I learned one or two things here. Im impatient and impulsive and some of the comments made me rethink my actions and calmed me down. Of course in the end I will always go with my gut but Im also thankful for the advice!

On paper it might seem he was committed to me, but I was not feeling it and I was not seeing it. And I could play with it but feel bad inside, or make a call. So I made the call.

My sister (a Taurus) is married to a Sag. He is great with her. Super devoted, a true partner. My cousin, another Sag, is all in love with his gf. Way too much display of love for my own taste ?, but he is always speaking about her, always with her, their social media is declaration of love after declaration of love. I wouldn't want this. This would scare me away. But the point is that I see Sags of different ages very committed to their partners. Mine looked unsure. Well, he said so himself.

I ended because I need peace of mind. I didnt even gave him the direct ultimatum I was speaking about on the post. I just told him: time to stop. It really is.

I was by his side when he was still recovering from breaking up with his gf, when a colleague passed away, when someone attempted to break into his house, I shot his confidence up to the roof, he shared with me very personal situations from his life and I listened....I cant do more. And it was not I was asking to meet or speak everyday. I need my space too! But I needed a little bit more attention, knowing that he cared.

It has been almost a week since I ended things. I will not get in touch. He says he respects my decision so I dont think he will make contact either. So thats it.

Maybe next time I'll meet a Sag I will remember your beautiful cage description ?

click to expand

?

I made my way here for the same reasons, to get things off my chest and hear other perspectives.

I wish you the best of luck and a mended heart.

?

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by IamAries

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by IamAries

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by DMV

Posted by pinkbird03
He sounds like he didn't care very much. What a jerk ?

How does he sound like a jerk?

Exactly...

I remember the last thread the OP wrote on this situation and what annoys me is people keep blaming him for her irresponsibility. Not to be mean, but it's time to get real and speak the truth and stop validating bad behavior.

OP, you setting ultimatums demonstrates that it's about what you want and less about "us" and the Sag figured this out long ago. A person who's pure in their motives and intentions doesn't have to try to force someone into something...especially after they've told you 80 ways from Sunday THAT THEY ARE NOT READY.

You pulling this is the equivalent of running head first into a tree and getting mad when the tree doesn't move...and getting mad at the tree. It's a tree. He's shown you who he is. It goes back to the old cliche about the Scorpion and the frog.

People will be who they are no matter how much you try to show them, tell them, steer them. With that being said, the responsibility lies with you. You slept with this guy without getting to know him, what his plans and intentions are, and actually establishing a foundation for something long term. But what you're showing is that the Sag is nothing but some challenge or conquest for you and your ego is your weakness. I don't condone his behavior either but that is how you come off. He cares about you, but will not tell you what it is about you that makes him not want to commit...but it's not your job to change him...that never works especially with us.

So your choices are this, either you accept the situation for what it is and stop complaining about it or you move on. I reiterate...hes told you that he doesn't want one and we can sit here and go through a pointless debate over whether he should and with you but you're both adults and not children. Good luck

Just because he told me he is not ready for a relationship it doesnt mean he isnt also somewhat responsible for the feelings he provokes in me. Like Saint Exupery says in the Little Prince: "you become responsible forever for what you've tamed".

Maybe it's my Leo moon but this last paragraph doesn't make sense to me. While someone may invoke feelings within us it is us who give those feelings power to control us. When I say power I don't mean "authority." It means by them being who they truly are , they come in and change our environment and emotional state. That's why it's incumbent upon us to thoroughly vet someone before we let them in.

Good luck

When you say 'by them being who they truly are' makes them sound so innocent.

On one side people only go as far as we let them go, I give you that. But on the other hand, it can be seen as selfish to realise Im invoking feelings on someone and even though I will never be able to match those feelings, to keep on feeding them just because Im getting something out of it.

(Sorry, english is not my first language and it is difficult to explain what I mean)

We can always agree to disagree ?

No I'm not making him or people who do this seem innocent in fact quite the opposite and the last half of your paragraph is exactly what I'm saying. Whether he's confused, a player or insert any description you'd like, the fact is he is being selfish...but so are you if you're honest about it. Again...ultimatums...he's told you he doesn't want a commitment and proves it through his actions. It's not your job to fix him, "or to make him see the light." You're allowing him to keep hurting you...that is your responsibility whether you choose to see it or not.

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree...good luck 🙂

click to expand

I understand what you're saying and I don't entirely disagree.

I put a stop to it last week. It hurts. He is not a bad guy, but it had to be done.

12 days today since we last met / spoke (who's counting? ?) The longest we ever been without any contact.

Just got home from a date with a friend of a friend. Really cool and funny guy. Full of plans for future dates but I don't feel it. Need to find an elegant way to tell him...

Oh Sag, one day I'll forget about you! Not yet today.

Posted by IamAries
12 days today since we last met / spoke (who's counting? ?) The longest we ever been without any contact.

Just got home from a date with a friend of a friend. Really cool and funny guy. Full of plans for future dates but I don't feel it. Need to find an elegant way to tell him...

Oh Sag, one day I'll forget about you! Not yet today.

Juuust a sliver of advice for you 🙂...it's probably best that be by yourself for a while. The popular answer is to get out and see other people...but realistically the only thing that's accomplished is the exact opposite of what's trying to be avoided. You only end up thinking about the person you just left. The comparisons etc. It's a waste of time. You should heal first on your own then get back out there.

Posted by IamAries
12 days today since we last met / spoke (who's counting? ?) The longest we ever been without any contact.

Just got home from a date with a friend of a friend. Really cool and funny guy. Full of plans for future dates but I don't feel it. Need to find an elegant way to tell him...

Oh Sag, one day I'll forget about you! Not yet today.

Youre stuck in the comparison phase.

I don't know how one heals, apart from moving on with life and Im very determined to move on with mine. More each day. Dating or meeting other people helps me not to think about him. Im only doing it for distraction, I know that I will not meet anyone that will have an impact on me like he did. At least not now.

Im slightly pissed off today. Yesterday evening I was on whatsapp and he still shows on my chat list but I could see his pic was gone. Im not blocked (and why would I?) because I saw he was online, so or he:

- completely deleted his picture - which is bizare

- or a problem with his phone (unlikely though)

- or he simply deleted my number

- or he is now using some of the pics I took of him (that we store on a shared drive together with the video), and doesnt want me to see it, and therefore deleted my number so I dont see it

This is all utter nonesense!

If he deleted it, why the hell would he do it after only 2 weeks? I don't call him, I don't text him either, I never contacted him again.... I dont delete people's numbers! At least I know who it is if sometime in the future I receive a call / text. Always find it a bit melodramatic to delete numbers. People have self control if they dont want to call someone. And after 2 weeks? After ending it with no drama, no major arguments...wtf?

He changed his pic a few times when we first met...but then he kept the same one for months. Wondering if he is now texting several women and changing his picture for them. Silly. And even though I find it silly...why would he care if I see or not?

This all sounds so dodgy to me!

If he deleted me he sounds harsh and a bit vengeful....his scorpio moon perhaps?

Then he might as well throw away all the fridge magnets he has on his fridge, because I always brought him one from all my work trips.

"It's me or this!!"

Sag/sag placements:

Posted by Noni05
Says wants freedom

If you give ultimatum you might frighten away due to the fact that they just simply are not ready to comit

Sag takes their time to comit and doesn't like to feel smothered and always in need of lots of breathing space

Sag will be honest with you if you just ask

Appreciate honesty with sag

Some sags will panic if they care and if they are about to lose you then come running back others just don't care much and just move on and bounce back up very soon.

Talk to your man tell him what you want see what his response is and go from there if he gives you what you need great otherwise this is not the man for you

I didnt put him against the wall like my tittle suggests.

In the end I just told him the kind of relationship our relationsip was turning into (fwb) was not making me feel good with myself and that it was time to stop it. He said he was sorry he couldnt give me more and respected my decision.

That was that. Most likely not the man for me as you say, but Im a bit shocked with the idea that he might have deleted my number. (if thats the case, because I dont know it for sure)

He was honest he wasn't feeling it and he let you know and he let you go

Be glad he didn't string you along like other men

Sag will tell you exactly how they feel there's no gray only black or white.

Let him go seems to me that he didn't see a future in your relationship but that doesn't mean you hold a grudge be thankful for what it was for the good times pick up the pieces shake it off and keep on your journey because the man who wants what you want is still out there....



-----------------------------------------/cant figure out this quoting thing/..........................................................

True.

Into him as I was he could have led me on if he wanted. He said what he felt.

Still wasnt expecting him to delete my number (if that was the case) so quick. We were present in each others lifes for the last 6 months, it is not like we met yesterday..

My logic is still a bit blurred by my feelings for him. I know you peeps understand it. And thank you for your words!

Posted by IamAries
I don't know how one heals, apart from moving on with life and Im very determined to move on with mine. More each day. Dating or meeting other people helps me not to think about him. Im only doing it for distraction, I know that I will not meet anyone that will have an impact on me like he did. At least not now.

Im slightly pissed off today. Yesterday evening I was on whatsapp and he still shows on my chat list but I could see his pic was gone. Im not blocked (and why would I?) because I saw he was online, so or he:

- completely deleted his picture - which is bizare

- or a problem with his phone (unlikely though)

- or he simply deleted my number

- or he is now using some of the pics I took of him (that we store on a shared drive together with the video), and doesnt want me to see it, and therefore deleted my number so I dont see it

This is all utter nonesense!

If he deleted it, why the hell would he do it after only 2 weeks? I don't call him, I don't text him either, I never contacted him again.... I dont delete people's numbers! At least I know who it is if sometime in the future I receive a call / text. Always find it a bit melodramatic to delete numbers. People have self control if they dont want to call someone. And after 2 weeks? After ending it with no drama, no major arguments...wtf?

He changed his pic a few times when we first met...but then he kept the same one for months. Wondering if he is now texting several women and changing his picture for them. Silly. And even though I find it silly...why would he care if I see or not?

This all sounds so dodgy to me!

If he deleted me he sounds harsh and a bit vengeful....his scorpio moon perhaps?

Then he might as well throw away all the fridge magnets he has on his fridge, because I always brought him one from all my work trips.

Ok. Back away from the computer.

Breathe. Take a walk.

Posted by IamAries

Posted by Noni05
Says wants freedom

If you give ultimatum you might frighten away due to the fact that they just simply are not ready to comit

Sag takes their time to comit and doesn't like to feel smothered and always in need of lots of breathing space

Sag will be honest with you if you just ask

Appreciate honesty with sag

Some sags will panic if they care and if they are about to lose you then come running back others just don't care much and just move on and bounce back up very soon.

Talk to your man tell him what you want see what his response is and go from there if he gives you what you need great otherwise this is not the man for you

I didnt put him against the wall like my tittle suggests.

In the end I just told him the kind of relationship our relationsip was turning into (fwb) was not making me feel good with myself and that it was time to stop it. He said he was sorry he couldnt give me more and respected my decision.

That was that. Most likely not the man for me as you say, but Im a bit shocked with the idea that he might have deleted my number. (if thats the case, because I dont know it for sure)

click to expand

You should delete his number.

Posted by DMV

Posted by IamAries
I don't know how one heals, apart from moving on with life and Im very determined to move on with mine. More each day. Dating or meeting other people helps me not to think about him. Im only doing it for distraction, I know that I will not meet anyone that will have an impact on me like he did. At least not now.

Im slightly pissed off today. Yesterday evening I was on whatsapp and he still shows on my chat list but I could see his pic was gone. Im not blocked (and why would I?) because I saw he was online, so or he:

- completely deleted his picture - which is bizare

- or a problem with his phone (unlikely though)

- or he simply deleted my number

- or he is now using some of the pics I took of him (that we store on a shared drive together with the video), and doesnt want me to see it, and therefore deleted my number so I dont see it

This is all utter nonesense!

If he deleted it, why the hell would he do it after only 2 weeks? I don't call him, I don't text him either, I never contacted him again.... I dont delete people's numbers! At least I know who it is if sometime in the future I receive a call / text. Always find it a bit melodramatic to delete numbers. People have self control if they dont want to call someone. And after 2 weeks? After ending it with no drama, no major arguments...wtf?

He changed his pic a few times when we first met...but then he kept the same one for months. Wondering if he is now texting several women and changing his picture for them. Silly. And even though I find it silly...why would he care if I see or not?

This all sounds so dodgy to me!

If he deleted me he sounds harsh and a bit vengeful....his scorpio moon perhaps?

Then he might as well throw away all the fridge magnets he has on his fridge, because I always brought him one from all my work trips.

Ok. Back away from the computer.

Breathe. Take a walk.

click to expand

Right. Enough.

I have a Sag Moon, and I react very, very poorly. Like... scorched-earth policy poorly.

No contact from both sides since we last met.

When I saw he deleted my number, I went to the document where we shared traveling pictures and deleted the video I made and my pictures.

This week he removed me from the shared document.

Scorched earth policy indeed.

Posted by sagsagsag

Posted by IamAries
No contact from both sides since we last met.

When I saw he deleted my number, I went to the document where we shared traveling pictures and deleted the video I made and my pictures.

This week he removed me from the shared document.

Scorched earth policy indeed.

How do u know he deleted your number?

click to expand

I no longer can see his picture on whatsapp although I see him online. That only happens if my number is no longer saved on his contacts. Or he completely deleted his picture, which is the most unlikely scenario.

After 3.5 months of no contact, against all odds and expectations, Mr. Sag reached out.

Im a bit annoyed that he did contact me.

I was getting over him, almost forgetting about him, dating and trying to meet new people, traveling with friends, keeping myself very busy...and I was good. It was done and dusted. Until I get this email:

Hi XXXX,

How are you doing? I hope it's ok to write you.

I wanted to tell you that I took this job in China. I don't have your number anymore, that's why I'm contacting you in this way. You don't need to reply if you don't feel like it, but it would be really nice to hear from you.

XXXX

Why the hell is he telling me he is moving to China? What am I suppose to do with this info? What does he expect me to do with this?

He deleted my number, we didn't contact each other ever since and then...this?

I was the first person he told when he was first approached with a job opportunity in bloody China....so now he wants to chat about it?

Im upset. How selfish of him. I was over him and now he comes with this email to remind me of it all over again. To say he is going to China? Im upset.

He hasnt said a thing in all this time, why the heck to tell me he is going to damn China?? Just go!

Danmed if you do, damned if ya dont



He probably wants to reconnect.

Its up to you

Reconnect before moving to damn China? Before moving to another continent?

This is so weird.

Which signs even LIKE ultimatums?

Forget the tittle and the word Ultimatum. I just told him I needed more and he said he couldnt give more. I said godbye then and he accepted.

Now after more than 3minths no contact, he went to dig out my email address (since he deleted my number) to tell me he is moving to the other side of the planet! Why to do that? Whats the point?

I answered him:

Hi XXXX

Nice to hear from you!

I'm slightly confused on what the intention of this message is; why you are sharing this with me.

Nevertheless I'm happy for you and I wish you all the best in this new adventure.

Good luck!

XXXX

Him:

Hi XXX

I don´t know, I just felt like contacting you to tell you :-)

What´s new on your side?

Me:

I don't know what to do with that information but I'm happy you thought of me.

Nothing new: just landed from XXXX.

---------

I would be happy with his contact if he was not moving away. I'm afraid now he wants to have fun or something before leaving. ? Guess I'll see.

My ex sag use to pull that crap. Contacting me to try tell me how great he had been doing without me. I think its almost them trying to convince themselves that they are fine without you and look at all the great stuff they are doing.

Posted by MissM
My ex sag use to pull that crap. Contacting me to try tell me how great he had been doing without me. I think its almost them trying to convince themselves that they are fine without you and look at all the great stuff they are doing.

I disagrre. I contact people cause I have thought of them too man times and suppressed to contact them. then all of a suddon I say to myself, "spreeding love is much better".

that is no lie. no show-off. nothing. this is how I do it. venus in sag. I think a lot about my loved people even if I keep distance to them.

this guy was about to move away, got feelings and wrote her. (of course men have one more reason to be sentimental if you know what I mean)