I may regret posting this.

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
First of all chill the fuck out

Secondly go talk to a professional

Take it easy dude

Posted by heliumfiasco
Anyways. Ya fucked up girl is back again. As if it wasn't evident from all my posts, I have some serious unaddressed abandonment issues. A friend of mine and my mother brought it to my attention. After looking up the symptoms I was floored by the accuracy. I have defense mechanisms going like crazy.

The biggest bummer about it is I met a guy (the scorpio) who is perfect for me. I was so on the fence and he made me feel so comfortable that I was like projectile vomiting my insecurities. One day liking him, the next telling him we wouldn't work and we shouldn't even try. I did this about 8 times, then would apologize and ask to continue. He rolled with this like some super champ. I would have stopped talking to me two months ago!!! Well, I came back from Vegas and decided after a dinner date I was ready to go all in... spewed off my feelings and when he said we should just take it slow and be friends for a bit, I told him nah, and hopefully I'll see him around. I have been a total idiot and psychopath. I explained to him he's the first nice guy I've dated in awhile and it subconsciously terrified me. That I know I was crazy. It's been two days and we haven't really spoken. I know I need to work on my reactions in relationships. Knowing that scorpios are hard to get if they don't feel secure. Should I just bite the bullet and walk away? If I can rectify this, how should I go about it? I really showed my ass. He's such a nice guy. I feel awful and this experience has really made me look in the mirror. I was at once clingy yet dismissive. I'm afraid I've lost exactly what I've been looking for 😢

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by heliumfiasco
Anyways. Ya fucked up girl is back again. As if it wasn't evident from all my posts, I have some serious unaddressed abandonment issues. A friend of mine and my mother brought it to my attention. After looking up the symptoms I was floored by the accuracy. I have defense mechanisms going like crazy.

The biggest bummer about it is I met a guy (the scorpio) who is perfect for me. I was so on the fence and he made me feel so comfortable that I was like projectile vomiting my insecurities. One day liking him, the next telling him we wouldn't work and we shouldn't even try. I did this about 8 times, then would apologize and ask to continue. He rolled with this like some super champ. I would have stopped talking to me two months ago!!! Well, I came back from Vegas and decided after a dinner date I was ready to go all in... spewed off my feelings and when he said we should just take it slow and be friends for a bit, I told him nah, and hopefully I'll see him around. I have been a total idiot and psychopath. I explained to him he's the first nice guy I've dated in awhile and it subconsciously terrified me. That I know I was crazy. It's been two days and we haven't really spoken. I know I need to work on my reactions in relationships. Knowing that scorpios are hard to get if they don't feel secure. Should I just bite the bullet and walk away? If I can rectify this, how should I go about it? I really showed my ass. He's such a nice guy. I feel awful and this experience has really made me look in the mirror. I was at once clingy yet dismissive. I'm afraid I've lost exactly what I've been looking for 😢

Honestly, I don't think you can go the distance to do what it would take to have this guy's heart. Work on your stuff first.

click to expand

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by heliumfiasco
Anyways. Ya fucked up girl is back again. As if it wasn't evident from all my posts, I have some serious unaddressed abandonment issues. A friend of mine and my mother brought it to my attention. After looking up the symptoms I was floored by the accuracy. I have defense mechanisms going like crazy.

The biggest bummer about it is I met a guy (the scorpio) who is perfect for me. I was so on the fence and he made me feel so comfortable that I was like projectile vomiting my insecurities. One day liking him, the next telling him we wouldn't work and we shouldn't even try. I did this about 8 times, then would apologize and ask to continue. He rolled with this like some super champ. I would have stopped talking to me two months ago!!! Well, I came back from Vegas and decided after a dinner date I was ready to go all in... spewed off my feelings and when he said we should just take it slow and be friends for a bit, I told him nah, and hopefully I'll see him around. I have been a total idiot and psychopath. I explained to him he's the first nice guy I've dated in awhile and it subconsciously terrified me. That I know I was crazy. It's been two days and we haven't really spoken. I know I need to work on my reactions in relationships. Knowing that scorpios are hard to get if they don't feel secure. Should I just bite the bullet and walk away? If I can rectify this, how should I go about it? I really showed my ass. He's such a nice guy. I feel awful and this experience has really made me look in the mirror. I was at once clingy yet dismissive. I'm afraid I've lost exactly what I've been looking for 😢

Honestly, I don't think you can go the distance to do what it would take to have this guy's heart. Work on your stuff first.

click to expand

Posted by Miaou
How long were you single for before this guy?

Posted by Koniuchaa

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by heliumfiasco
Anyways. Ya fucked up girl is back again. As if it wasn't evident from all my posts, I have some serious unaddressed abandonment issues. A friend of mine and my mother brought it to my attention. After looking up the symptoms I was floored by the accuracy. I have defense mechanisms going like crazy.

The biggest bummer about it is I met a guy (the scorpio) who is perfect for me. I was so on the fence and he made me feel so comfortable that I was like projectile vomiting my insecurities. One day liking him, the next telling him we wouldn't work and we shouldn't even try. I did this about 8 times, then would apologize and ask to continue. He rolled with this like some super champ. I would have stopped talking to me two months ago!!! Well, I came back from Vegas and decided after a dinner date I was ready to go all in... spewed off my feelings and when he said we should just take it slow and be friends for a bit, I told him nah, and hopefully I'll see him around. I have been a total idiot and psychopath. I explained to him he's the first nice guy I've dated in awhile and it subconsciously terrified me. That I know I was crazy. It's been two days and we haven't really spoken. I know I need to work on my reactions in relationships. Knowing that scorpios are hard to get if they don't feel secure. Should I just bite the bullet and walk away? If I can rectify this, how should I go about it? I really showed my ass. He's such a nice guy. I feel awful and this experience has really made me look in the mirror. I was at once clingy yet dismissive. I'm afraid I've lost exactly what I've been looking for 😢

Honestly, I don't think you can go the distance to do what it would take to have this guy's heart. Work on your stuff first.

You might be right! We have amazing chemistry though.

Odd thing is... I ONLY get crazy via text. Text messages will be the death of me. Face to face... I don't have those feelings. It's when I'm home alone... letting my mind wander and I feel the need to text whatever crazy suit comes to mind.

Maybe write them down on a piece of paper before you send them. That way you can read it first and realize, crap that sounds crazy lol

click to expand

Posted by Koniuchaa

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by heliumfiasco
Anyways. Ya fucked up girl is back again. As if it wasn't evident from all my posts, I have some serious unaddressed abandonment issues. A friend of mine and my mother brought it to my attention. After looking up the symptoms I was floored by the accuracy. I have defense mechanisms going like crazy.

The biggest bummer about it is I met a guy (the scorpio) who is perfect for me. I was so on the fence and he made me feel so comfortable that I was like projectile vomiting my insecurities. One day liking him, the next telling him we wouldn't work and we shouldn't even try. I did this about 8 times, then would apologize and ask to continue. He rolled with this like some super champ. I would have stopped talking to me two months ago!!! Well, I came back from Vegas and decided after a dinner date I was ready to go all in... spewed off my feelings and when he said we should just take it slow and be friends for a bit, I told him nah, and hopefully I'll see him around. I have been a total idiot and psychopath. I explained to him he's the first nice guy I've dated in awhile and it subconsciously terrified me. That I know I was crazy. It's been two days and we haven't really spoken. I know I need to work on my reactions in relationships. Knowing that scorpios are hard to get if they don't feel secure. Should I just bite the bullet and walk away? If I can rectify this, how should I go about it? I really showed my ass. He's such a nice guy. I feel awful and this experience has really made me look in the mirror. I was at once clingy yet dismissive. I'm afraid I've lost exactly what I've been looking for 😢

Honestly, I don't think you can go the distance to do what it would take to have this guy's heart. Work on your stuff first.

You might be right! We have amazing chemistry though.

Odd thing is... I ONLY get crazy via text. Text messages will be the death of me. Face to face... I don't have those feelings. It's when I'm home alone... letting my mind wander and I feel the need to text whatever crazy suit comes to mind.

Maybe write them down on a piece of paper before you send them. That way you can read it first and realize, crap that sounds crazy lol

click to expand

Posted by EnochtheWise
just IMO but....you should be telling him all this....and asking him directly if you should give up hope of a romantic relationship....I don't mean to sound harsh but his answer might be a little more informative than the crowd of strangers....

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by heliumfiasco
Anyways. Ya fucked up girl is back again. As if it wasn't evident from all my posts, I have some serious unaddressed abandonment issues. A friend of mine and my mother brought it to my attention. After looking up the symptoms I was floored by the accuracy. I have defense mechanisms going like crazy.

The biggest bummer about it is I met a guy (the scorpio) who is perfect for me. I was so on the fence and he made me feel so comfortable that I was like projectile vomiting my insecurities. One day liking him, the next telling him we wouldn't work and we shouldn't even try. I did this about 8 times, then would apologize and ask to continue. He rolled with this like some super champ. I would have stopped talking to me two months ago!!! Well, I came back from Vegas and decided after a dinner date I was ready to go all in... spewed off my feelings and when he said we should just take it slow and be friends for a bit, I told him nah, and hopefully I'll see him around. I have been a total idiot and psychopath. I explained to him he's the first nice guy I've dated in awhile and it subconsciously terrified me. That I know I was crazy. It's been two days and we haven't really spoken. I know I need to work on my reactions in relationships. Knowing that scorpios are hard to get if they don't feel secure. Should I just bite the bullet and walk away? If I can rectify this, how should I go about it? I really showed my ass. He's such a nice guy. I feel awful and this experience has really made me look in the mirror. I was at once clingy yet dismissive. I'm afraid I've lost exactly what I've been looking for 😢

Honestly, I don't think you can go the distance to do what it would take to have this guy's heart. Work on your stuff first.

Also, I'm interested what do you think it takes that I lack? Ya know, besides acting insane in the beginning stages of dating until I feel secure. I do calm down eventually. Haha just not now!

click to expand

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by heliumfiasco
Anyways. Ya fucked up girl is back again. As if it wasn't evident from all my posts, I have some serious unaddressed abandonment issues. A friend of mine and my mother brought it to my attention. After looking up the symptoms I was floored by the accuracy. I have defense mechanisms going like crazy.

The biggest bummer about it is I met a guy (the scorpio) who is perfect for me. I was so on the fence and he made me feel so comfortable that I was like projectile vomiting my insecurities. One day liking him, the next telling him we wouldn't work and we shouldn't even try. I did this about 8 times, then would apologize and ask to continue. He rolled with this like some super champ. I would have stopped talking to me two months ago!!! Well, I came back from Vegas and decided after a dinner date I was ready to go all in... spewed off my feelings and when he said we should just take it slow and be friends for a bit, I told him nah, and hopefully I'll see him around. I have been a total idiot and psychopath. I explained to him he's the first nice guy I've dated in awhile and it subconsciously terrified me. That I know I was crazy. It's been two days and we haven't really spoken. I know I need to work on my reactions in relationships. Knowing that scorpios are hard to get if they don't feel secure. Should I just bite the bullet and walk away? If I can rectify this, how should I go about it? I really showed my ass. He's such a nice guy. I feel awful and this experience has really made me look in the mirror. I was at once clingy yet dismissive. I'm afraid I've lost exactly what I've been looking for 😢

Honestly, I don't think you can go the distance to do what it would take to have this guy's heart. Work on your stuff first.

Also, I'm interested what do you think it takes that I lack? Ya know, besides acting insane in the beginning stages of dating until I feel secure. I do calm down eventually. Haha just not now!

Consistency and stability. He probably has his walls up now, so it won't be easy. Not by a long shot. You seem to be easily swayed by your own inner thoughts and insecurities vs openly sharing them and working through them with him, which is required in any relationship. So what do think will happen when he's not giving into you after a period of time? I'm guessing your fears will lead you to give up and bail out of fear. I mean you have already asked if you should give up 2 times before you even hit page 2... I am not suggesting you are not capable. I don't know you. Simply, based on what you've written here and in your past thread you are not there yet.

You attempt to go for this guy and pull out again, he probably won't be as open to engaging you as he is now. Trust.

click to expand

Posted by AgentP911
OP

What exactly are your issues?

What's the nature of your 'abandonment' issues?

Throw some light on it if you wish.

Posted by nikkistar
I got a soft spot for you. Usually when someone posts as many things as you, I become so brutally honest, that it can fuck someone up. So be glad, you are one of the few that I actually dig.

Having said that, right now, I don't think you have the skill set to maintain a lasting relationship, simply because you have just now recognized the triggers without having the skill to offset them yet. Until you can actively see when a trigger approaches, and can essentially train yourself not to react to them, it will always cause conflicts. This is not saying you CAN'T work on them, or work on them with this man.

I will give you an example. One of my triggers is when my s/o doesn't let me know they are safe, that doesn't mean I think they are cheating. Before recognizing that trigger, I went from not really needing any communication, but the minute correspondence wasn't responded to within 2-3 hours, I would become neurotic, and start worrying like crazy. Worse case scenarios popped in my head about their well being, and until I got a response, my anxiety would go nuts. I came off very neurotic. Now, I approach the subject before hand, and text my partner before he goes out and explain to him "Just let me know you are safe, you know how neurotic I can get."

When you can recognize what triggers will make you react, and communicate openly about it, is when you will have the skills to not let those triggers control your reactions.

I am glad you now see some of your triggers more openly, and I wish you ALL the luck going forward in having a loving relationship. Even if it doesn't work out with this man, there is someone else out there that will.

Though I think, if you take it slow, and do what is needed, he will stay. Him still communicating with you, is a good sign.

Posted by tiziani
I think what you're describing isn't that bad. If you talk about it with strangers it gets turned from a molehill into this elaborate story about parents and all these parallels that may or may not be real, but do not do anything to move you forward.

Whereas what people said about sharing what you're saying here with him would be a real thing. You'd be changing and being vulnerable, and you might just get slammed and rejected by him initially (or what feels like a rejection) but that's the best way to get a hold of your reactions in real time and handle them better, slowly.

You can be in a relationship anytime you want. It doesn't have to be a big thing. I don't think a relationship with this guy is what's on offer anymore though, at least not without doing things his way now.

Posted by Koniuchaa
Even if nothing comes of this, he helped you look at yourself and that is a wonderful gift. Everyone comes in to our lives for a reason, even if it is just to help us grow, as painful as that can be

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by nikkistar
I got a soft spot for you. Usually when someone posts as many things as you, I become so brutally honest, that it can fuck someone up. So be glad, you are one of the few that I actually dig.

Having said that, right now, I don't think you have the skill set to maintain a lasting relationship, simply because you have just now recognized the triggers without having the skill to offset them yet. Until you can actively see when a trigger approaches, and can essentially train yourself not to react to them, it will always cause conflicts. This is not saying you CAN'T work on them, or work on them with this man.

I will give you an example. One of my triggers is when my s/o doesn't let me know they are safe, that doesn't mean I think they are cheating. Before recognizing that trigger, I went from not really needing any communication, but the minute correspondence wasn't responded to within 2-3 hours, I would become neurotic, and start worrying like crazy. Worse case scenarios popped in my head about their well being, and until I got a response, my anxiety would go nuts. I came off very neurotic. Now, I approach the subject before hand, and text my partner before he goes out and explain to him "Just let me know you are safe, you know how neurotic I can get."

When you can recognize what triggers will make you react, and communicate openly about it, is when you will have the skills to not let those triggers control your reactions.

I am glad you now see some of your triggers more openly, and I wish you ALL the luck going forward in having a loving relationship. Even if it doesn't work out with this man, there is someone else out there that will.

Though I think, if you take it slow, and do what is needed, he will stay. Him still communicating with you, is a good sign.

Thank you! I appreciate your insight. I think being able to address my triggers and not deny them will allow me to be forthcoming. Its probably the easiest way. I mean we're all fucked up some how.

click to expand

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by nikkistar
I got a soft spot for you. Usually when someone posts as many things as you, I become so brutally honest, that it can fuck someone up. So be glad, you are one of the few that I actually dig.

Having said that, right now, I don't think you have the skill set to maintain a lasting relationship, simply because you have just now recognized the triggers without having the skill to offset them yet. Until you can actively see when a trigger approaches, and can essentially train yourself not to react to them, it will always cause conflicts. This is not saying you CAN'T work on them, or work on them with this man.

I will give you an example. One of my triggers is when my s/o doesn't let me know they are safe, that doesn't mean I think they are cheating. Before recognizing that trigger, I went from not really needing any communication, but the minute correspondence wasn't responded to within 2-3 hours, I would become neurotic, and start worrying like crazy. Worse case scenarios popped in my head about their well being, and until I got a response, my anxiety would go nuts. I came off very neurotic. Now, I approach the subject before hand, and text my partner before he goes out and explain to him "Just let me know you are safe, you know how neurotic I can get."

When you can recognize what triggers will make you react, and communicate openly about it, is when you will have the skills to not let those triggers control your reactions.

I am glad you now see some of your triggers more openly, and I wish you ALL the luck going forward in having a loving relationship. Even if it doesn't work out with this man, there is someone else out there that will.

Though I think, if you take it slow, and do what is needed, he will stay. Him still communicating with you, is a good sign.

Thank you! I appreciate your insight. I think being able to address my triggers and not deny them will allow me to be forthcoming. Its probably the easiest way. I mean we're all fucked up some how.

click to expand

Posted by heliumfiasco
Anyways. Ya fucked up girl is back again. As if it wasn't evident from all my posts, I have some serious unaddressed abandonment issues. A friend of mine and my mother brought it to my attention. After looking up the symptoms I was floored by the accuracy. I have defense mechanisms going like crazy.

The biggest bummer about it is I met a guy (the scorpio) who is perfect for me. I was so on the fence and he made me feel so comfortable that I was like projectile vomiting my insecurities. One day liking him, the next telling him we wouldn't work and we shouldn't even try. I did this about 8 times, then would apologize and ask to continue. He rolled with this like some super champ. I would have stopped talking to me two months ago!!! Well, I came back from Vegas and decided after a dinner date I was ready to go all in... spewed off my feelings and when he said we should just take it slow and be friends for a bit, I told him nah, and hopefully I'll see him around. I have been a total idiot and psychopath. I explained to him he's the first nice guy I've dated in awhile and it subconsciously terrified me. That I know I was crazy. It's been two days and we haven't really spoken. I know I need to work on my reactions in relationships. Knowing that scorpios are hard to get if they don't feel secure. Should I just bite the bullet and walk away? If I can rectify this, how should I go about it? I really showed my ass. He's such a nice guy. I feel awful and this experience has really made me look in the mirror. I was at once clingy yet dismissive. I'm afraid I've lost exactly what I've been looking for 😢

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by heliumfiasco
Anyways. Ya fucked up girl is back again. As if it wasn't evident from all my posts, I have some serious unaddressed abandonment issues. A friend of mine and my mother brought it to my attention. After looking up the symptoms I was floored by the accuracy. I have defense mechanisms going like crazy.

The biggest bummer about it is I met a guy (the scorpio) who is perfect for me. I was so on the fence and he made me feel so comfortable that I was like projectile vomiting my insecurities. One day liking him, the next telling him we wouldn't work and we shouldn't even try. I did this about 8 times, then would apologize and ask to continue. He rolled with this like some super champ. I would have stopped talking to me two months ago!!! Well, I came back from Vegas and decided after a dinner date I was ready to go all in... spewed off my feelings and when he said we should just take it slow and be friends for a bit, I told him nah, and hopefully I'll see him around. I have been a total idiot and psychopath. I explained to him he's the first nice guy I've dated in awhile and it subconsciously terrified me. That I know I was crazy. It's been two days and we haven't really spoken. I know I need to work on my reactions in relationships. Knowing that scorpios are hard to get if they don't feel secure. Should I just bite the bullet and walk away? If I can rectify this, how should I go about it? I really showed my ass. He's such a nice guy. I feel awful and this experience has really made me look in the mirror. I was at once clingy yet dismissive. I'm afraid I've lost exactly what I've been looking for 😢

Honestly, I don't think you can go the distance to do what it would take to have this guy's heart. Work on your stuff first.

Also, I'm interested what do you think it takes that I lack? Ya know, besides acting insane in the beginning stages of dating until I feel secure. I do calm down eventually. Haha just not now!

click to expand

Posted by Palerio

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by heliumfiasco
Anyways. Ya fucked up girl is back again. As if it wasn't evident from all my posts, I have some serious unaddressed abandonment issues. A friend of mine and my mother brought it to my attention. After looking up the symptoms I was floored by the accuracy. I have defense mechanisms going like crazy.

The biggest bummer about it is I met a guy (the scorpio) who is perfect for me. I was so on the fence and he made me feel so comfortable that I was like projectile vomiting my insecurities. One day liking him, the next telling him we wouldn't work and we shouldn't even try. I did this about 8 times, then would apologize and ask to continue. He rolled with this like some super champ. I would have stopped talking to me two months ago!!! Well, I came back from Vegas and decided after a dinner date I was ready to go all in... spewed off my feelings and when he said we should just take it slow and be friends for a bit, I told him nah, and hopefully I'll see him around. I have been a total idiot and psychopath. I explained to him he's the first nice guy I've dated in awhile and it subconsciously terrified me. That I know I was crazy. It's been two days and we haven't really spoken. I know I need to work on my reactions in relationships. Knowing that scorpios are hard to get if they don't feel secure. Should I just bite the bullet and walk away? If I can rectify this, how should I go about it? I really showed my ass. He's such a nice guy. I feel awful and this experience has really made me look in the mirror. I was at once clingy yet dismissive. I'm afraid I've lost exactly what I've been looking for 😢

Honestly, I don't think you can go the distance to do what it would take to have this guy's heart. Work on your stuff first.

Also, I'm interested what do you think it takes that I lack? Ya know, besides acting insane in the beginning stages of dating until I feel secure. I do calm down eventually. Haha just not now!

If you're dealing with a stable man, there's no besides when it come to insanity.

click to expand

Posted by Scorpio12
First, contain the crazy, Scorpios already deal with turbulent emotions so him trying to contain yours as well must be exhausting to him. Second, stop texting him then! At least the crazy stuff, find a friend who loves you and text her all that crap. She'll take it much better than him.

Third, just be honest about how you feel about him, if you love him, tell him, if you want to try to make it work for real, tell him. Scorpios will never push away someone who comes at them with love and honesty. We will be strong for you once we know how you really feel.

Fourth, fake it til you make it. Yes you've issues and baggage, but who doesn't? He does too. Everyone on here has them, so what? Doesn't mean you can't get better at moving past them. Circumstances change.

Fifth and last, commit to it. Pretend and act like there was no way out and you've to stick it out and make it work. Whatever it took, you'll do your best to attain it.

If you can't do these things then let him go, cause you're not ready to invest in him like he's investing in you.

Posted by Tauruswithspunk
I read somewhere it said... just because you feel you can talk to your man about all your emotions doesn't mean you should.

Get a therapist for that... it is a turn off especially in the beginning cause it shows unstableness...

TRY TO REMAIN CALM AND VENT ELSEWHERE FOR NOW... show stability. He's already filled with enough emotions (water)

Posted by Ellygant

Posted by heliumfiasco
Scorpio text me last night saying he forgot he was dropping his Jeep off to get a lift kit installed tonight. He asked if I was free Thursday, but he knew I wasn't cause my dads coming into town. So that was a play. So, I called him and explained my actions, apologized. I was really honest and open. I asked if he was swerving me. He replied "You told me to not talk to you. So that's what I was doing". Even though I had been trying to communicate and told him I overreacted days ago.

He had bought me really amazing concert tix before this all went down. He said he emailed someone about getting his money back, emailed Ticketmaster? Within 3 days? Sounds weird. You can't get your money back. He's an avid concert goer. As am I. Seemed contrived. He then said that we could maybe still go, but he didn't know.

He then told me he was going to dinner with his ex, and that they're just friends. When I said "oh a date?".. he replied "no we're friends. Just like you're friends with your ex, right?".... I said "ok have fun".

Today I tried to be playful but it was like pulling teeth. I told him that he was def being distant and I understood. He told me "you're so sensitive, Jesus". He then said "let's maybe get together Friday for dinner". He's definitely playing with me. I get it, but damn just say "peace, i think you're an ass". I kept my cool.

This is why I referenced earlier you might not be ready to be with anyone. Could he be playing you? Maybe. Could he be nervous interacting with you because you've built up a pattern of back and forth in a short time? Quite possibly.

He feels on guard and like he needs to walk on eggshells. He's focusing on giving you space because he thought that was what you wanted, but now you want it to go back to romantic and playful shortly after confessing and apologizing. His feelers are on overdrive. An apology and confession, while needed, don't wipe everything clean. There needs to be time to find a new rhythm. It doesn't just switch back on.

This is a bit where water and air differ. Y'all can think and talk things out. We feel things out. So to you. Speaking was the hard part and since it's resolved in thought you feel free to move forward. He's water though, and he needs to feel out that the situation is settling, is finding new ground, that you won't flake again if you misinterpret one sentence, as evidenced by his you're so sensitive comment. Seems like he's trying hard already to not say the wrong thing and feels like he's on a losing side.

Just my Scorpio perspective.

click to expand

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
First of all chill the fuck out

Secondly go talk to a professional

Take it easy dude

You've been telling me this for awhile. Agreed! I just get too crazy! Too analytical!

click to expand

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by Ellygant

Posted by heliumfiasco
Scorpio text me last night saying he forgot he was dropping his Jeep off to get a lift kit installed tonight. He asked if I was free Thursday, but he knew I wasn't cause my dads coming into town. So that was a play. So, I called him and explained my actions, apologized. I was really honest and open. I asked if he was swerving me. He replied "You told me to not talk to you. So that's what I was doing". Even though I had been trying to communicate and told him I overreacted days ago.

He had bought me really amazing concert tix before this all went down. He said he emailed someone about getting his money back, emailed Ticketmaster? Within 3 days? Sounds weird. You can't get your money back. He's an avid concert goer. As am I. Seemed contrived. He then said that we could maybe still go, but he didn't know.

He then told me he was going to dinner with his ex, and that they're just friends. When I said "oh a date?".. he replied "no we're friends. Just like you're friends with your ex, right?".... I said "ok have fun".

Today I tried to be playful but it was like pulling teeth. I told him that he was def being distant and I understood. He told me "you're so sensitive, Jesus". He then said "let's maybe get together Friday for dinner". He's definitely playing with me. I get it, but damn just say "peace, i think you're an ass". I kept my cool.

This is why I referenced earlier you might not be ready to be with anyone. Could he be playing you? Maybe. Could he be nervous interacting with you because you've built up a pattern of back and forth in a short time? Quite possibly.

He feels on guard and like he needs to walk on eggshells. He's focusing on giving you space because he thought that was what you wanted, but now you want it to go back to romantic and playful shortly after confessing and apologizing. His feelers are on overdrive. An apology and confession, while needed, don't wipe everything clean. There needs to be time to find a new rhythm. It doesn't just switch back on.

This is a bit where water and air differ. Y'all can think and talk things out. We feel things out. So to you. Speaking was the hard part and since it's resolved in thought you feel free to move forward. He's water though, and he needs to feel out that the situation is settling, is finding new ground, that you won't flake again if you misinterpret one sentence, as evidenced by his you're so sensitive comment. Seems like he's trying hard already to not say the wrong thing and feels like he's on a losing side.

Just my Scorpio perspective.

This is spot on.

I felt completely like "Well, I explained myself. lets keep it moving. I'm sorry". So, now I feel kind of butt-hurt that he didn't jump right back. I realize its unrealistic and that he is totally entitled to feel however he wants. It's kind of a catch 22. I explain my insecurities and need for reassurance, yet he pulls back nearly all of his attention. At this point I just hope we can at least be friends! That whole telling me he went to dinner with ex BS rubbed me the wrong way. Not sure why he felt the need to say that. I think it was to set me straight on where I stand. I heard him loud and clear. Ill let him steer this ship!

click to expand

Posted by Ellygant

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by Ellygant

Posted by heliumfiasco
Scorpio text me last night saying he forgot he was dropping his Jeep off to get a lift kit installed tonight. He asked if I was free Thursday, but he knew I wasn't cause my dads coming into town. So that was a play. So, I called him and explained my actions, apologized. I was really honest and open. I asked if he was swerving me. He replied "You told me to not talk to you. So that's what I was doing". Even though I had been trying to communicate and told him I overreacted days ago.

He had bought me really amazing concert tix before this all went down. He said he emailed someone about getting his money back, emailed Ticketmaster? Within 3 days? Sounds weird. You can't get your money back. He's an avid concert goer. As am I. Seemed contrived. He then said that we could maybe still go, but he didn't know.

He then told me he was going to dinner with his ex, and that they're just friends. When I said "oh a date?".. he replied "no we're friends. Just like you're friends with your ex, right?".... I said "ok have fun".

Today I tried to be playful but it was like pulling teeth. I told him that he was def being distant and I understood. He told me "you're so sensitive, Jesus". He then said "let's maybe get together Friday for dinner". He's definitely playing with me. I get it, but damn just say "peace, i think you're an ass". I kept my cool.

This is why I referenced earlier you might not be ready to be with anyone. Could he be playing you? Maybe. Could he be nervous interacting with you because you've built up a pattern of back and forth in a short time? Quite possibly.

He feels on guard and like he needs to walk on eggshells. He's focusing on giving you space because he thought that was what you wanted, but now you want it to go back to romantic and playful shortly after confessing and apologizing. His feelers are on overdrive. An apology and confession, while needed, don't wipe everything clean. There needs to be time to find a new rhythm. It doesn't just switch back on.

This is a bit where water and air differ. Y'all can think and talk things out. We feel things out. So to you. Speaking was the hard part and since it's resolved in thought you feel free to move forward. He's water though, and he needs to feel out that the situation is settling, is finding new ground, that you won't flake again if you misinterpret one sentence, as evidenced by his you're so sensitive comment. Seems like he's trying hard already to not say the wrong thing and feels like he's on a losing side.

Just my Scorpio perspective.

This is spot on.

I felt completely like "Well, I explained myself. lets keep it moving. I'm sorry". So, now I feel kind of butt-hurt that he didn't jump right back. I realize its unrealistic and that he is totally entitled to feel however he wants. It's kind of a catch 22. I explain my insecurities and need for reassurance, yet he pulls back nearly all of his attention. At this point I just hope we can at least be friends! That whole telling me he went to dinner with ex BS rubbed me the wrong way. Not sure why he felt the need to say that. I think it was to set me straight on where I stand. I heard him loud and clear. Ill let him steer this ship!

A lot of relationships between human beings boils down to...perspective.

For example, why did it bother you that he told about dinner with the ex? I'm not trying to imply shame on your part, pressure you, fault fund, and I'll illustrate the greater point in a second. So let's rationally explore the question.

You two aren't dating, he's already established a clear boundary, and he's given you chance after chance and stillAgain, it's not about shaming you, it about actually learning to see things from a different perspective. What bothered you about him telling you? The reason I ask is did you consider that he told you in order to be honest? He most likely told you in the off chance that you go out and see them together and it will be worse. Rather than sneak behind your back, he told you out of a level of respect for your feelings. He knows you would get upset anyway but he's rather tell you to mitigate some of the hurt than to not consider your feelings at all. The truth is, he didn't have to tell you. He doesn't owe you that and he explicitly said that's it's not a date. That is him maintaining a boundary with her as well.

See, a lot of people misunderstand Scorps. They consider and look out for the feelings of and protect those they love and care for in ways that most dont even realize or fully appreciate. It goes back to what I said earlier. He is waiting for you to change. It's noble that you tell him how you feel but it doesn't matter if your behavior doesn't change. It just starts to appear that the explanation is...justification and not consideration. Hence why he's distancing himself at this point. If you don't, eventually he'll lose respect for you...and go silent..

You make me wanna find a sag to settle down and nest with when you post. Which is saying a lot cause I have a Sag father and the idea normally feels weird and gross to me. 😆

This is all accurate helium. Take notice of the importance in this post.

click to expand

Posted by ScorpioJ1989

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by heliumfiasco
Anyways. Ya fucked up girl is back again. As if it wasn't evident from all my posts, I have some serious unaddressed abandonment issues. A friend of mine and my mother brought it to my attention. After looking up the symptoms I was floored by the accuracy. I have defense mechanisms going like crazy.

The biggest bummer about it is I met a guy (the scorpio) who is perfect for me. I was so on the fence and he made me feel so comfortable that I was like projectile vomiting my insecurities. One day liking him, the next telling him we wouldn't work and we shouldn't even try. I did this about 8 times, then would apologize and ask to continue. He rolled with this like some super champ. I would have stopped talking to me two months ago!!! Well, I came back from Vegas and decided after a dinner date I was ready to go all in... spewed off my feelings and when he said we should just take it slow and be friends for a bit, I told him nah, and hopefully I'll see him around. I have been a total idiot and psychopath. I explained to him he's the first nice guy I've dated in awhile and it subconsciously terrified me. That I know I was crazy. It's been two days and we haven't really spoken. I know I need to work on my reactions in relationships. Knowing that scorpios are hard to get if they don't feel secure. Should I just bite the bullet and walk away? If I can rectify this, how should I go about it? I really showed my ass. He's such a nice guy. I feel awful and this experience has really made me look in the mirror. I was at once clingy yet dismissive. I'm afraid I've lost exactly what I've been looking for 😢

I'm not a Scorp but I have heavy Scorp placements and I can identify with this guy as I've been in this situation even recently. This final time when you approached, he said let's just be friends for a while. Translation? "I need for you to show me that you are ready and until then we will remain friends." He didn't close off the possibility but he knows how you are. I'm not trying to down you or fault you but he is aware of you're tendencies. What he has done is try to show you the way by being who he genuinely is in the hopes that you'll get it and change. He's probably sacrificed for you in ways you're not aware of but he's not going to put the deepest parts of him out there until he feels you're ready and you can be careful with his heart. I sense that he cares deeply about you...probably loves you and he's willing to work with you on this but he knows a relationship isn't possible until you've changed. That's not to guilt trip you, it is give you something to work towards. To help you heal and be realistic. So he's doing what Scorps do best...being patient. That is why he is still communicating with you. He has put it out there for you to consider. The ball's in your court. Good luck.

@heliumfiasco I hope you saw @beautifulsoul74 response to your post. Very insightful...

click to expand

Posted by heliumfiasco
Anyways. Ya fucked up girl is back again. As if it wasn't evident from all my posts, I have some serious unaddressed abandonment issues. A friend of mine and my mother brought it to my attention. After looking up the symptoms I was floored by the accuracy. I have defense mechanisms going like crazy.

The biggest bummer about it is I met a guy (the scorpio) who is perfect for me. I was so on the fence and he made me feel so comfortable that I was like projectile vomiting my insecurities. One day liking him, the next telling him we wouldn't work and we shouldn't even try. I did this about 8 times, then would apologize and ask to continue. He rolled with this like some super champ. I would have stopped talking to me two months ago!!! Well, I came back from Vegas and decided after a dinner date I was ready to go all in... spewed off my feelings and when he said we should just take it slow and be friends for a bit, I told him nah, and hopefully I'll see him around. I have been a total idiot psychopath

Posted by Honeytarot

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
First of all chill the fuck out

Secondly go talk to a professional

Take it easy dude

You've been telling me this for awhile. Agreed! I just get too crazy! Too analytical!

WHAT PART OF "Go see a professional don't you get?" Why do you care so little for people that you would subject them to your schizophrenic emotionally abusive psychotic behavior? Your words of remorse means little.

But for the record the Scorpio has moved on with the fire sign he thinks that you're crazy you guys get the Chariot he's going to be your friend and gradually just leave you alone but he's already seeing someone else and I don't blame him.

He's telling people that you have psychological issues and he doesn't want to set you off but it's over. Now go take your meds and leave Scorps alone.

click to expand

Posted by Honeytarot

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
First of all chill the fuck out

Secondly go talk to a professional

Take it easy dude

You've been telling me this for awhile. Agreed! I just get too crazy! Too analytical!

WHAT PART OF "Go see a professional don't you get?" Why do you care so little for people that you would subject them to your schizophrenic emotionally abusive psychotic behavior? Your words of remorse means little.

But for the record the Scorpio has moved on with the fire sign he thinks that you're crazy you guys get the Chariot he's going to be your friend and gradually just leave you alone but he's already seeing someone else and I don't blame him.

He's telling people that you have psychological issues and he doesn't want to set you off but it's over. Now go take your meds and leave Scorps alone.

click to expand

Posted by heliumfiasco
He still replies to me. Is still very much open, just has pulled wayyyyyy back. Like basically cut off any romantic emotions in conversation etc. which I totally get. Do you think I can turn this around. Or have my flaws in relationships probably created too big of a security/ clingy issue? Should I just bow out respectively?

Posted by EnochtheWise

Posted by beautifulsoul74


See, a lot of people misunderstand Scorps. They consider and look out for the feelings of and protect those they love and care for in ways that most don't even realize or fully appreciate. It goes back to what I said earlier. He is waiting for you to change. It's noble that you tell him how you feel but it doesn't matter if your behavior doesn't change. It just starts to appear that the explanation is...justification and not consideration. Hence why he's distancing himself at this point. If you don't, eventually he'll lose respect for you...and go silent..

very true for me....though often misconstrued as intent to harm or control....

click to expand

Posted by EnochtheWise

Posted by newToThisLibra1980

Posted by heliumfiasco
He still replies to me. Is still very much open, just has pulled wayyyyyy back. Like basically cut off any romantic emotions in conversation etc. which I totally get. Do you think I can turn this around. Or have my flaws in relationships probably created too big of a security/ clingy issue? Should I just bow out respectively?

I am a scorpio woman. I will tell you this. We scorps put 150 % into our relationships.

I think for a scorp LOYALTY is more important than "crazy pants" stuff you did. SO, i would not completely write him off yet.

I think that scorpion men and women have a hard time getting closure if they are being dumped. From your post it sounds like you have been jerking him around, so he may not have had the full closure on the break up. If he is responding, that's a great sign, even if it is sparse. Sometimes scorps manipulate back and let you get the taste of your own medicine, so to speak.

Where to go next— there is one powerful technique remedy. Write him a powerful letter, make sure you are genuine, apologetic (not too excessive) and VULNERABLE. Make sure it is genuine.

I would go that route instead of just talking to him in person in circles. Let your thoughts, intentions soak in. For scorpios, when they LOVE you deeply, the form of communication (e-mail, letter or in person) can have the SAME power. Make sure you don't manipulate because scorps are ahead of you in that department. If they smell even a faint manipulation or lack of genuine intention, they will cut you lose and sting.

So, i am saying, write him up a genuine letter and let him make his decision. Keep your contact, do not manipulate going with NC.

NC only works if you didn't treetrunked. Then that's powerful. If scorps know they are "in the right", then any sense of manipulation will back fire.

So, in summary, not all is lost and the fact that he is responding is a good sign. When scorps stop talking, then that's a done deal..

Yes to all this for me. Just genuine/authentic open communication with someone you care about....not manipulating to be with him or being overly apologetic....just unadorned agenda-free honesty...so rare with people in my experience but one of the most powerful things in the world.....

click to expand

Posted by newToThisLibra1980

Posted by EnochtheWise

Posted by newToThisLibra1980

Posted by heliumfiasco
He still replies to me. Is still very much open, just has pulled wayyyyyy back. Like basically cut off any romantic emotions in conversation etc. which I totally get. Do you think I can turn this around. Or have my flaws in relationships probably created too big of a security/ clingy issue? Should I just bow out respectively?

I am a scorpio woman. I will tell you this. We scorps put 150 % into our relationships.

I think for a scorp LOYALTY is more important than "crazy pants" stuff you did. SO, i would not completely write him off yet.

I think that scorpion men and women have a hard time getting closure if they are being dumped. From your post it sounds like you have been jerking him around, so he may not have had the full closure on the break up. If he is responding, that's a great sign, even if it is sparse. Sometimes scorps manipulate back and let you get the taste of your own medicine, so to speak.

Where to go next— there is one powerful technique remedy. Write him a powerful letter, make sure you are genuine, apologetic (not too excessive) and VULNERABLE. Make sure it is genuine.

I would go that route instead of just talking to him in person in circles. Let your thoughts, intentions soak in. For scorpios, when they LOVE you deeply, the form of communication (e-mail, letter or in person) can have the SAME power. Make sure you don't manipulate because scorps are ahead of you in that department. If they smell even a faint manipulation or lack of genuine intention, they will cut you lose and sting.

So, i am saying, write him up a genuine letter and let him make his decision. Keep your contact, do not manipulate going with NC.

NC only works if you didn't treetrunked. Then that's powerful. If scorps know they are "in the right", then any sense of manipulation will back fire.

So, in summary, not all is lost and the fact that he is responding is a good sign. When scorps stop talking, then that's a done deal..

Yes to all this for me. Just genuine/authentic open communication with someone you care about....not manipulating to be with him or being overly apologetic....just unadorned agenda-free honesty...so rare with people in my experience but one of the most powerful things in the world.....

@EnochtheWise

LOL. Are we related?? I just got typing on your thread stating that i agreed with your content posting. Then refreshed the screen and saw you support / second my opion. That's crazy.

CRAZY.

click to expand

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by heliumfiasco
Anyways. Ya fucked up girl is back again. As if it wasn't evident from all my posts, I have some serious unaddressed abandonment issues. A friend of mine and my mother brought it to my attention. After looking up the symptoms I was floored by the accuracy. I have defense mechanisms going like crazy.

The biggest bummer about it is I met a guy (the scorpio) who is perfect for me. I was so on the fence and he made me feel so comfortable that I was like projectile vomiting my insecurities. One day liking him, the next telling him we wouldn't work and we shouldn't even try. I did this about 8 times, then would apologize and ask to continue. He rolled with this like some super champ. I would have stopped talking to me two months ago!!! Well, I came back from Vegas and decided after a dinner date I was ready to go all in... spewed off my feelings and when he said we should just take it slow and be friends for a bit, I told him nah, and hopefully I'll see him around. I have been a total idiot and psychopath. I explained to him he's the first nice guy I've dated in awhile and it subconsciously terrified me. That I know I was crazy. It's been two days and we haven't really spoken. I know I need to work on my reactions in relationships. Knowing that scorpios are hard to get if they don't feel secure. Should I just bite the bullet and walk away? If I can rectify this, how should I go about it? I really showed my ass. He's such a nice guy. I feel awful and this experience has really made me look in the mirror. I was at once clingy yet dismissive. I'm afraid I've lost exactly what I've been looking for 😢

Honestly, I don't think you can go the distance to do what it would take to have this guy's heart. Work on your stuff first.

Also, I'm interested what do you think it takes that I lack? Ya know, besides acting insane in the beginning stages of dating until I feel secure. I do calm down eventually. Haha just not now!

click to expand