Women can be just as bad as men: faking wanting a relationship to have sex with you.

Ok so I didn’t know exactly where to post this..i thought about the man cave but I doubt most cisgender straight men would be able to relate…but if you are and can please feel free to reply.lol

—-

Ok so we all know that many men are capable and have faked wanting more ( i.e - a relationship or exclsuivity/monogamy ) when dating a woman……to just be able to get a woman in bed BUT I was wondering if and of any women have experience this same treatment from another woman?



I recently have experienced this with both a Leo woman and a Gemini woman who are both queer and polyamorous.

The Gemini woman is still low key pursuing while the Leo has finally got the picture that it’s never going to happen and now is being hella petty , passive agressive and cold.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Please share.

Sorry about the biphobia. It’s definetly real.

It’d be interesting to see how many men this has happened to? I’ve not come across it before.

But yeah I have been very clear from the start that I’m Mr. Monagomy and only am only looking for something serious which I had to do because I recently realized aesthetically I look like a fuckboi …..

So everyone just assumed I was down for casual sex / vacation / festival booty ( we all met at Burning man and then hung out again at Dinah Shore).

I first at Dinah told these women that I was demi and have been sexually attracted to 3 women in my life thus far.

I felt like that is what peeked their interest. I think I was a challenge or something.

I mean I’m cute but I’m not that cute .It was weird to be getting all of this attention from multiple parties...especially with the long history of low self esteem and insecurity. It’s also just weird dating women and seeing parallels w/ dating men.

Posted by MyStarsShine
It’d be interesting to see how many men this has happened to? I’ve not come across it before.

Yeah from my experience researching ( aka watching youtube videos on dating and reading comments lol) is it seems more common for women to fake wanting something more serious for attention and material gain(like gifts , dinners , vacations etc).

Some bad girls / fuck girls will use a man for attention/validation sex too ( in the event the woman thinks the guy is really attractive but doesn’t have a good job or is unemployed …)

…but I feel like it’s more rare or at least not talked about that much because men are less likely to complain about being used as a human sex toy and then discarded due to social conditioning.

Posted by Melantho

Posted by Adreamuponwaking
But yeah I have been very clear from the start that I’m Mr. Monagomy and only am only looking for something serious which I had to do because I recently realized aesthetically I look like a fuckboi …..


So everyone just assumed I was down for casual sex / vacation / festival booty ( we all met at Burning man and then hung out again at Dinah Shore).


I first at Dinah told these women that I was demi and have been sexually attracted to 3 women in my life thus far.


I felt like that is what peeked their interest. I think I was a challenge or something.


I mean I’m cute but I’m not that cute .It was weird to be getting all of this attention from multiple parties...especially with the long history of low self esteem and insecurity. It’s also just weird dating women and seeing parallels w/ dating men.

Same here, but I'm poly. And people mostly seem to think that I am up for a good time while I'm only interested in long-term commitment, in my case it just happens to be wanting it with more than one person.
If you are mono and not into casual, state that, make that clear and maintain your boundaries. You have none of those games and fuckery, they can try and bamboozle someone else. Whether you are gay, bi, lesbian, straight, mono, poly or something else. Be a creature with basic life skills or bugger off not?

click to expand

Yeah I’ve been reading up a lot on boundaries and how to maintain them lately. It’s definitely what has gotten me into trouble many of times in the past. But thanks again for the advice!

What trickery is this you speak of

People want what they can't have. Usually a direct "No, I'm not interested" helps, instead of being nice or passive aggressive about it.

Posted by alexscaries
There's too many variables to say. I think people want a relationship, but then the reality and tedium sets in they change their mind. I think people decide who is dating material on the first date. I know it's stating the bleeding obvious, but usually most women are pretty blatant about their intentions.

yeah..I gathered and agree.

This last girl that rejected me it was pretty obvious at most she wanted …was a hook up.

It’s a little hard though when your still “in it”. Like I forgot people have casusal sex and have vacation booty. I’m not really wired the same way..even when i find someone really attractive. Something this last expereince has taught me is that

I can’t do casual. I want to feel like the person at the very least cares about ….me even as a friend and I think I have to definetly be in love and in a committed relationship.

Posted by Walk_on_by
What trickery is this you speak of

One woman ( the leo ) made a post about her ready to be in a serious relationship after having like a serious 2 hour conversation with her about love and dating in which I mentioned being monoagamous and looking for my future wife.

And the gemini told me on two different occassion that there is a friend that she totally would be monogamous for…

Yes it happens on both sides. I hear men complaining about it who want relationships. I personally am having issues with guys latching on very quickly & can’t let go after rejected. 🤦‍♀️ It so seem the more secure of a person this doesn’t happen.

Personally if you’re rejected, move on. It’s just asking for drama otherwise.

Posted by Saturn_Returns
Setting labels aside, this is simply the classic case of women placing conditions on prospective partners and making them jump through hoops. The thing is, it's human nature to bypass such restrictions through dishonesty and deception.


If women didn't have so many hang-ups about sex and the mating game in general, there'd be a hell of a lot more transparency and a significant reduction in prospective partners 'faking' it.

Those in control make the rules. All dating shows, issues, apps and support are all in favor of women. Ladies night at the clubs, celebrities with shows saying men are no good.. all support.

Women have always had hang-ups about sex, men and the dating market. Hell, part of the reason for the sexual revolution was because their husbands failed to please them. The difference now is, they can complain and get their way.

This post kind reads like OP had an epiphany. Believing these attributes were exclusive to men at one point. Then they encountered some ruthless women. Best believe, women invented game and can often play it better than men.

Posted by saggurl88
People want what they can't have. Usually a direct "No, I'm not interested" helps, instead of being nice or passive aggressive about it.

Yeah but I don’t like the backlash..also a pattern I’ve noticed is girls like to shield themselves so they are really indirect…..they like to use indirect speech…when trying to feel you out.

if you give them a direct no I am not interested …well then it doesn’t realy fit the vibe of the convo..and in a way i think people communicate to you the way the way they want you to communicate to them.

The last girl I was interested in I told her to be direct with me who also was a Leo…because that’s what I preferred / wanted / needed. I still received a watered down no..but a no nonetheless…which was sufficient for me.

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by alexscaries
There's too many variables to say. I think people want a relationship, but then the reality and tedium sets in they change their mind. I think people decide who is dating material on the first date. I know it's stating the bleeding obvious, but usually most women are pretty blatant about their intentions.

yeah..I gathered and agree.


This last girl that rejected me it was pretty obvious at most she wanted …was a hook up.


It’s a little hard though when your still “in it”. Like I forgot people have casusal sex and have vacation booty. I’m not really wired the same way..even when i find someone really attractive. Something this last expereince has taught me is that

I can’t do casual. I want to feel like the person at the very least cares about ….me even as a friend and I think I have to definetly be in love and in a committed relationship.

click to expand

I hear you ….. I’m the same, i loathe this throwaway sex society that’s been created 😑

Posted by Saturn_Returns
Setting labels aside, this is simply the classic case of women placing conditions on prospective partners and making them jump through hoops. The thing is, it's human nature to bypass such restrictions through dishonesty and deception.


If women didn't have so many hang-ups about sex and the mating game in general, there'd be a hell of a lot more transparency and a significant reduction in prospective partners 'faking' it.

Interesting perspective …don’t necessarily agree but yeah.

There are men who also can’t / do casual sex so there’s that.

Also if you grew up christian and or from a different more conservative culture

I wouldn’t call it a hang up about sex but more so a defined standard/ value.

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by alexscaries
There's too many variables to say. I think people want a relationship, but then the reality and tedium sets in they change their mind. I think people decide who is dating material on the first date. I know it's stating the bleeding obvious, but usually most women are pretty blatant about their intentions.

yeah..I gathered and agree.


This last girl that rejected me it was pretty obvious at most she wanted …was a hook up.


It’s a little hard though when your still “in it”. Like I forgot people have casusal sex and have vacation booty. I’m not really wired the same way..even when i find someone really attractive. Something this last expereince has taught me is that

I can’t do casual. I want to feel like the person at the very least cares about ….me even as a friend and I think I have to definetly be in love and in a committed relationship.

I hear you ….. I’m the same, i loathe this throwaway sex society that’s been created 😑

click to expand

yeah …it’s gross and sad.

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by saggurl88
People want what they can't have. Usually a direct "No, I'm not interested" helps, instead of being nice or passive aggressive about it.

Yeah but I don’t like the backlash..also a pattern I’ve noticed is girls like to shield themselves so they are really indirect…..they like to use indirect speech…when trying to feel you out.


if you give them a direct no I am not interested …well then it doesn’t realy fit the vibe of the convo..and in a way i think people communicate to you the way the way they want you to communicate to them.


The last girl I was interested in I told her to be direct with me who also was a Leo…because that’s what I preferred / wanted / needed. I still received a watered down no..but a no nonetheless…which was sufficient for me.

click to expand

You seem to put yourself in these types of situations often.

I mean- being at someone elses mercy because you are somewhat dependent on them. You've mentioned this type of arrangement while being on vacation too. (From what I remember)

Why do you fall for these types of traps?

No one is gonna let you mooch off of them without wanting something in return. People don't do favors for others that they don't know too well.

I don't know why you trap yourself in these types of scenarios. It makes you even more vulnerable prey to a person who seeks control over the situation.

You seem to be being passive because she's letting you stay while you heal. But is it worth being uncomfortable?

A direct no wouldn't be a good fit for your situation if you still need to crash at her place.

Any one who starts to feel used, can be petty like this. Men have done it to me when I wanted to keep the FWB situation and they thought I was just using them for sex. (which I was, duh FWB)

I think it will get worse until you voluntarily leave, because she may be too nice to kick you out, but now you have to deal with this.

This type of behavior, on both sides, could also ruin what could've been a good friendship.

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by alexscaries
There's too many variables to say. I think people want a relationship, but then the reality and tedium sets in they change their mind. I think people decide who is dating material on the first date. I know it's stating the bleeding obvious, but usually most women are pretty blatant about their intentions.

yeah..I gathered and agree.


This last girl that rejected me it was pretty obvious at most she wanted …was a hook up.


It’s a little hard though when your still “in it”. Like I forgot people have casusal sex and have vacation booty. I’m not really wired the same way..even when i find someone really attractive. Something this last expereince has taught me is that

I can’t do casual. I want to feel like the person at the very least cares about ….me even as a friend and I think I have to definetly be in love and in a committed relationship.

I hear you ….. I’m the same, i loathe this throwaway sex society that’s been created 😑

yeah …it’s gross and sad.

click to expand

Really is …. Turns my stomach 😑

What are your Astro placements?

men will put you on their family's phone plan while actively cheating on you tho

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by saggurl88
People want what they can't have. Usually a direct "No, I'm not interested" helps, instead of being nice or passive aggressive about it.

Yeah but I don’t like the backlash..also a pattern I’ve noticed is girls like to shield themselves so they are really indirect…..they like to use indirect speech…when trying to feel you out.


if you give them a direct no I am not interested …well then it doesn’t realy fit the vibe of the convo..and in a way i think people communicate to you the way the way they want you to communicate to them.


The last girl I was interested in I told her to be direct with me who also was a Leo…because that’s what I preferred / wanted / needed. I still received a watered down no..but a no nonetheless…which was sufficient for me.

You seem to put yourself in these types of situations often.
I mean- being at someone elses mercy because you are somewhat dependent on them. You've mentioned this type of arrangement while being on vacation too. (From what I remember)

Why do you fall for these types of traps?
No one is gonna let you mooch off of them without wanting something in return. People don't do favors for others that they don't know too well.
I don't know why you trap yourself in these types of scenarios. It makes you even more vulnerable prey to a person who seeks control over the situation.
You seem to be being passive because she's letting you stay while you heal. But is it worth being uncomfortable?
A direct no wouldn't be a good fit for your situation if you still need to crash at her place.

Any one who starts to feel used, can be petty like this. Men have done it to me when I wanted to keep the FWB situation and they thought I was just using them for sex. (which I was, duh FWB)

I think it will get worse until you voluntarily leave, because she may be too nice to kick you out, but now you have to deal with this.
This type of behavior, on both sides, could also ruin what could've been a good friendship.

click to expand

I have been clear and direct about my sexuality and who I was interested since the beginning.

Also upon arrival I bought and gifted her a givenchy scarf valued at $ 400 . I’ve cooked for her , shared groceries and cleaned.

I’ve basically been a model house guest…or at least had strived to be.



There are definetly others…at least according to her who have taken advantage…and gone on free trips she’s invited them on.

But yes you are right there’s definietly a pattern.

The canada trip involving another Leo ( who btw is friends with this Leo) is actually somewhat related to this story.

I definetly should have booked my own airbnb that trip….hindsight..and just avoided certain people altogether ( aka maintained boundaries).

This trip i actually did do that for about half of the time.

The original invite was to stay a month…and she was originally not supposed to be home to be fair.

When I found out that this wasn’t going to be the case..I did make arrangements. It was hard as my family is not supportive at least publicly ….and had to endure abuse…as a result….but I did.

And lastly it could have never been a good friendship because she never really wanted to be friends with me.

I’ve literally been a gentleman and have taken the pettiness / indirect passive aggressive comments with grace but the realization that she would try to hurt me by bringing up and and poking fun at my past with her friend who rejected me is pretty low.

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by alexscaries
There's too many variables to say. I think people want a relationship, but then the reality and tedium sets in they change their mind. I think people decide who is dating material on the first date. I know it's stating the bleeding obvious, but usually most women are pretty blatant about their intentions.

yeah..I gathered and agree.


This last girl that rejected me it was pretty obvious at most she wanted …was a hook up.


It’s a little hard though when your still “in it”. Like I forgot people have casusal sex and have vacation booty. I’m not really wired the same way..even when i find someone really attractive. Something this last expereince has taught me is that

I can’t do casual. I want to feel like the person at the very least cares about ….me even as a friend and I think I have to definetly be in love and in a committed relationship.

I hear you ….. I’m the same, i loathe this throwaway sex society that’s been created 😑

yeah …it’s gross and sad.

Really is …. Turns my stomach 😑
What are your Astro placements?

click to expand

Lol i feel like I’ve told you before….but

Pisces Sun Taurus Venus Libra Moon Cap Mars.

I’m as traditonal and romantic as they come.

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by alexscaries
There's too many variables to say. I think people want a relationship, but then the reality and tedium sets in they change their mind. I think people decide who is dating material on the first date. I know it's stating the bleeding obvious, but usually most women are pretty blatant about their intentions.

yeah..I gathered and agree.


This last girl that rejected me it was pretty obvious at most she wanted …was a hook up.


It’s a little hard though when your still “in it”. Like I forgot people have casusal sex and have vacation booty. I’m not really wired the same way..even when i find someone really attractive. Something this last expereince has taught me is that

I can’t do casual. I want to feel like the person at the very least cares about ….me even as a friend and I think I have to definetly be in love and in a committed relationship.

I hear you ….. I’m the same, i loathe this throwaway sex society that’s been created 😑

yeah …it’s gross and sad.

Really is …. Turns my stomach 😑

What are your Astro placements?

Lol i feel like I’ve told you before….but

Pisces Sun Taurus Venus Libra Moon Cap Mars.

I’m as traditonal and romantic as they come.

click to expand

Sorry, yes you have

And yes you are

Don’t change … refreshing in this age of meaningless hook ups 😐

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by saggurl88
People want what they can't have. Usually a direct "No, I'm not interested" helps, instead of being nice or passive aggressive about it.

Yeah but I don’t like the backlash..also a pattern I’ve noticed is girls like to shield themselves so they are really indirect…..they like to use indirect speech…when trying to feel you out.

if you give them a direct no I am not interested …well then it doesn’t realy fit the vibe of the convo..and in a way i think people communicate to you the way the way they want you to communicate to them.

The last girl I was interested in I told her to be direct with me who also was a Leo…because that’s what I preferred / wanted / needed. I still received a watered down no..but a no nonetheless…which was sufficient for me.

You seem to put yourself in these types of situations often.

I mean- being at someone elses mercy because you are somewhat dependent on them. You've mentioned this type of arrangement while being on vacation too. (From what I remember)


Why do you fall for these types of traps?

No one is gonna let you mooch off of them without wanting something in return. People don't do favors for others that they don't know too well.

I don't know why you trap yourself in these types of scenarios. It makes you even more vulnerable prey to a person who seeks control over the situation.

You seem to be being passive because she's letting you stay while you heal. But is it worth being uncomfortable?

A direct no wouldn't be a good fit for your situation if you still need to crash at her place.


Any one who starts to feel used, can be petty like this. Men have done it to me when I wanted to keep the FWB situation and they thought I was just using them for sex. (which I was, duh FWB)


I think it will get worse until you voluntarily leave, because she may be too nice to kick you out, but now you have to deal with this.

This type of behavior, on both sides, could also ruin what could've been a good friendship.

click to expand

I have been clear and direct about my sexuality and who I was interested since the beginning.


Also upon arrival I bought and gifted her a givenchy scarf valued at $ 400 . I’ve cooked for her , shared groceries and cleaned.


I’ve basically been a model house guest…or at least had strived to be.





There are definetly others…at least according to her who have taken advantage…and gone on free trips she’s invited them on.


But yes you are right there’s definietly a pattern.

The canada trip involving another Leo ( who btw is friends with this Leo) is actually somewhat related to this story.


I definetly should have booked my own airbnb that trip….hindsight..and just avoided certain people altogether ( aka maintained boundaries).


This trip i actually did do that for about half of the time.


The original invite was to stay a month…and she was originally not supposed to be home to be fair.

When I found out that this wasn’t going to be the case..I did make arrangements. It was hard as my family is not supportive at least publicly ….and had to endure abuse…as a result….but I did.


And lastly it could have never been a good friendship because she never really wanted to be friends with me.


I’ve literally been a gentleman and have taken the pettiness / indirect passive aggressive comments with grace but the realization that she would try to hurt me by bringing up and and poking fun at my past with her friend who rejected me is pretty low.

click to expand

"I’ve literally been a gentleman and have taken the pettiness / indirect passive aggressive comments with grace"

I just read this,

My bad for the previous post and me saying "if I had a daughter, I would be fearful"- I don't want to offend you and that wasn't my intention.

Hopefully your short stay goes by fast and you can be back to your normal way of doing things.

The people you surround yourself with should be a safe place.

I don't know how you are so trusting of these people that you barely know, especially if this person knows about what happened previously.

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by alexscaries
There's too many variables to say. I think people want a relationship, but then the reality and tedium sets in they change their mind. I think people decide who is dating material on the first date. I know it's stating the bleeding obvious, but usually most women are pretty blatant about their intentions.

yeah..I gathered and agree.


This last girl that rejected me it was pretty obvious at most she wanted …was a hook up.


It’s a little hard though when your still “in it”. Like I forgot people have casusal sex and have vacation booty. I’m not really wired the same way..even when i find someone really attractive. Something this last expereince has taught me is that

I can’t do casual. I want to feel like the person at the very least cares about ….me even as a friend and I think I have to definetly be in love and in a committed relationship.

I hear you ….. I’m the same, i loathe this throwaway sex society that’s been created 😑

yeah …it’s gross and sad.

Really is …. Turns my stomach 😑


What are your Astro placements?

Lol i feel like I’ve told you before….but


Pisces Sun Taurus Venus Libra Moon Cap Mars.


I’m as traditonal and romantic as they come.

Sorry, yes you have
And yes you are
Don’t change … refreshing in this age of meaningless hook ups 😐

click to expand

Yes thank you. I felt good that I maintained my boundaries even when I was really attracted and tempted to not do so.

I also learned recently that women respect partners and find it attractive when a guy holds true to his values….

so I guess there’s hope for me yet. Maybe I will find someone in the future who I’m interested who can appreciate my need of taking things slow and wanting sex to be something more… at least agin I hope so.

Posted by PuzzlePieces
Yes it happens on both sides. I hear men complaining about it who want relationships. I personally am having issues with guys latching on very quickly & can’t let go after rejected. 🤦‍♀️ It so seem the more secure of a person this doesn’t happen.

Personally if you’re rejected, move on. It’s just asking for drama otherwise.

Yes I agree it’s definitely imporant to move on….I think important to highlight though there are some women that will miss the attention and will breadcrumb when the person shows signs of finally doing so.

It’s also more important I’ve leanred especially in a dynamic like this to cut off contact and maintain boundaries…..

and not to get sucked back into that black hole.

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by PuzzlePieces
Yes it happens on both sides. I hear men complaining about it who want relationships. I personally am having issues with guys latching on very quickly & can’t let go after rejected. 🤦‍♀️ It so seem the more secure of a person this doesn’t happen.


Personally if you’re rejected, move on. It’s just asking for drama otherwise.

Yes I agree it’s definitely imporant to move on….I think important to highlight though there are some women that will miss the attention and will breadcrumb when the person shows signs of finally doing so.

It’s also more important I’ve leanred especially in a dynamic like this to cut off contact and maintain boundariers…..

and not to get sucked back into that black hole.

click to expand

Yes exactly. I have men doing the same thing. One was a boyfriend for 2 years, finally had to block him. Currently a guy apparently was waiting til tax season was over thinking that was the reason I rejected him after numerous explanations of why. Then I got a crazy ass message on tax day. Lol and you wonder why you got dumped? Seriously boundaries are important.

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by alexscaries
There's too many variables to say. I think people want a relationship, but then the reality and tedium sets in they change their mind. I think people decide who is dating material on the first date. I know it's stating the bleeding obvious, but usually most women are pretty blatant about their intentions.

yeah..I gathered and agree.

This last girl that rejected me it was pretty obvious at most she wanted …was a hook up.

It’s a little hard though when your still “in it”. Like I forgot people have casusal sex and have vacation booty. I’m not really wired the same way..even when i find someone really attractive. Something this last expereince has taught me is that

I can’t do casual. I want to feel like the person at the very least cares about ….me even as a friend and I think I have to definetly be in love and in a committed relationship.

I hear you ….. I’m the same, i loathe this throwaway sex society that’s been created 😑

yeah …it’s gross and sad.

Really is …. Turns my stomach 😑



What are your Astro placements?

Lol i feel like I’ve told you before….but



Pisces Sun Taurus Venus Libra Moon Cap Mars.



I’m as traditonal and romantic as they come.

Sorry, yes you have

And yes you are

Don’t change … refreshing in this age of meaningless hook ups 😐
click to expand

Yes thank you. I felt good that I maintained my boundaries even when I was really attracted and tempted to not do so.


I also learned recently that women respect partners and find it attractive when a guy holds true to his values….


so I guess there’s hope for me yet. Maybe I will find someone in the future who I’m interested who can appreciate my need of taking things slow and wanting sex to be something more… at least agin I hope so.

click to expand

You will!

Posted by PuzzlePieces
Yes it happens on both sides. I hear men complaining about it who want relationships. I personally am having issues with guys latching on very quickly & can’t let go after rejected. 🤦‍♀️ It so seem the more secure of a person this doesn’t happen.


Personally if you’re rejected, move on. It’s just asking for drama otherwise.

also….i feel like it’s important to highlight that

a particular challenge for me is that I do get attached to quickly/ fast but at the same time I also know I have a different orientation in that I need to be attached / take you serious for me to even pursue anything with you on the romantic / sexual forefrunt.

I am playing for keeps…and i shouldn’t be ashamed of that.

I’ve recently learned though it’s important to not emotionally invest in people ( including and especially friendships) unless they have shown themselves to be trustworthy , honest and share the same values as you etc….

It was expensive lesson to learn but I am deeply grateful for it.

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by PuzzlePieces
Yes it happens on both sides. I hear men complaining about it who want relationships. I personally am having issues with guys latching on very quickly & can’t let go after rejected. 🤦‍♀️ It so seem the more secure of a person this doesn’t happen.


Personally if you’re rejected, move on. It’s just asking for drama otherwise.

also….i feel like it’s important to highlight that
a particular challenge for me is that I do get attached to quickly/ fast but at the same time I also know I have a different orientation in that I need to be attached / take you serious for me to even pursue anything with you on the romantic / sexual forefrunt.

I am playing for keeps…and i shouldn’t be ashamed of that.

I’ve recently learned though it’s important to not emotionally invest in people ( including and especially friendships) unless they have shown themselves to be trustworthy , honest and share the same values as you etc….

It was expensive lesson to learn but I am deeply grateful for it.

click to expand

Yeah I don’t attach quickly because I need to see if what they are saying is true. Perhaps I learned that the hard way too. Plus people get attached just talking & I have two different modes/talking and then in person it has to be the right vibe. It’s just sometimes not the same. I explain this but they don’t listen or believe me.

I think it makes sense because in reality it has to be the full picture to work out. In the beginning, you are seeing the best of them & sometimes who they want to be. Getting attached very early can work out, but in a lot of cases you just haven’t seen the real truth yet. Hang in there! All these experiences I believe teach us lessons & that’s okay. 🙂

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by saggurl88
People want what they can't have. Usually a direct "No, I'm not interested" helps, instead of being nice or passive aggressive about it.

Yeah but I don’t like the backlash..also a pattern I’ve noticed is girls like to shield themselves so they are really indirect…..they like to use indirect speech…when trying to feel you out.

if you give them a direct no I am not interested …well then it doesn’t realy fit the vibe of the convo..and in a way i think people communicate to you the way the way they want you to communicate to them.

The last girl I was interested in I told her to be direct with me who also was a Leo…because that’s what I preferred / wanted / needed. I still received a watered down no..but a no nonetheless…which was sufficient for me.

You seem to put yourself in these types of situations often.

I mean- being at someone elses mercy because you are somewhat dependent on them. You've mentioned this type of arrangement while being on vacation too. (From what I remember)


Why do you fall for these types of traps?

No one is gonna let you mooch off of them without wanting something in return. People don't do favors for others that they don't know too well.

I don't know why you trap yourself in these types of scenarios. It makes you even more vulnerable prey to a person who seeks control over the situation.

You seem to be being passive because she's letting you stay while you heal. But is it worth being uncomfortable?

A direct no wouldn't be a good fit for your situation if you still need to crash at her place.


Any one who starts to feel used, can be petty like this. Men have done it to me when I wanted to keep the FWB situation and they thought I was just using them for sex. (which I was, duh FWB)


I think it will get worse until you voluntarily leave, because she may be too nice to kick you out, but now you have to deal with this.

This type of behavior, on both sides, could also ruin what could've been a good friendship.

click to expand

I have been clear and direct about my sexuality and who I was interested since the beginning.


Also upon arrival I bought and gifted her a givenchy scarf valued at $ 400 . I’ve cooked for her , shared groceries and cleaned.


I’ve basically been a model house guest…or at least had strived to be.





There are definetly others…at least according to her who have taken advantage…and gone on free trips she’s invited them on.


But yes you are right there’s definietly a pattern.

The canada trip involving another Leo ( who btw is friends with this Leo) is actually somewhat related to this story.


I definetly should have booked my own airbnb that trip….hindsight..and just avoided certain people altogether ( aka maintained boundaries).


This trip i actually did do that for about half of the time.


The original invite was to stay a month…and she was originally not supposed to be home to be fair.

When I found out that this wasn’t going to be the case..I did make arrangements. It was hard as my family is not supportive at least publicly ….and had to endure abuse…as a result….but I did.


And lastly it could have never been a good friendship because she never really wanted to be friends with me.


I’ve literally been a gentleman and have taken the pettiness / indirect passive aggressive comments with grace but the realization that she would try to hurt me by bringing up and and poking fun at my past with her friend who rejected me is pretty low.

"I’ve literally been a gentleman and have taken the pettiness / indirect passive aggressive comments with grace"

I just read this,
My bad for the previous post and me saying "if I had a daughter, I would be fearful"- I don't want to offend you and that wasn't my intention.

Hopefully your short stay goes by fast and you can be back to your normal way of doing things.
The people you surround yourself with should be a safe place.
I don't know how you are so trusting of these people that you barely know, especially if this person knows about what happened previously.

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Oh thank you for apologizing that’s really sweet of you.

I didn’t / wasn’t offended though I totally got what you meant.

I’m technically non binary / more masculine androgynous presenting currently but yeah.

When dealing with women though I often refer to myself as a gentleman….or at least strive to be.

I look up to old school hollywood types like sidney portier in terms of masculinity and how to be and upstanding respectful person in relationships.

I grew up witnessing my dad and other men in my family treat women like crap

so as someone interested in dating women I have always been mindful of my upbringing and witnessing that.

Posted by LuckyLibra7

Posted by Saturn_Returns
Setting labels aside, this is simply the classic case of women placing conditions on prospective partners and making them jump through hoops. The thing is, it's human nature to bypass such restrictions through dishonesty and deception.

If women didn't have so many hang-ups about sex and the mating game in general, there'd be a hell of a lot more transparency and a significant reduction in prospective partners 'faking' it.

Those in control make the rules. All dating shows, issues, apps and support are all in favor of women. Ladies night at the clubs, celebrities with shows saying men are no good.. all support.


Women have always had hang-ups about sex, men and the dating market. Hell, part of the reason for the sexual revolution was because their husbands failed to please them. The difference now is, they can complain and get their way.


This post kind reads like OP had an epiphany. Believing these attributes were exclusive to men at one point. Then they encountered some ruthless women. Best believe, women invented game and can often play it better than men.

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This is exactly it!!!

I was shocked lol.

Growing up my parents spent a lot of time warning me about how a lot of guys want just one thing and feared that I was going to get pregnant at a young age ... which is what happened between them.

Ironically I never needed the talk about bad boys……but actually bad girls.

It’s super funny as you pointed out no one talks about how some women could be the same and or worse than men lol

Posted by virgoOPPP
men will put you on their family's phone plan while actively cheating on you tho

ROFLMAO.

true.

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by LuckyLibra7

Posted by Saturn_Returns
Setting labels aside, this is simply the classic case of women placing conditions on prospective partners and making them jump through hoops. The thing is, it's human nature to bypass such restrictions through dishonesty and deception.

If women didn't have so many hang-ups about sex and the mating game in general, there'd be a hell of a lot more transparency and a significant reduction in prospective partners 'faking' it.

Those in control make the rules. All dating shows, issues, apps and support are all in favor of women. Ladies night at the clubs, celebrities with shows saying men are no good.. all support.


Women have always had hang-ups about sex, men and the dating market. Hell, part of the reason for the sexual revolution was because their husbands failed to please them. The difference now is, they can complain and get their way.


This post kind reads like OP had an epiphany. Believing these attributes were exclusive to men at one point. Then they encountered some ruthless women. Best believe, women invented game and can often play it better than men.

This is exactly it!!!

I was shocked lol.

Growing up my parents spent a lot of time warning me about how a lot of guys want just one thing and feared that I was going to get pregnant at a young age ... which is what happened between them.

Ironically I never needed the talk about bad boys……but actually bad girls.

It’s super funny as you pointed out no one talks about how some women could be the same and or worse than men lol

click to expand

Yup, been on both ends of it. I've been the guy the wife was creeping with and I've also experienced where she says she's sick and I see her out at the club with a man.

Men get confused with the flowery speech. The indirectness and being diplomatic although she isn't interested. You really need to know the signs and understand patterns of her communication. Most women aren't going to tell you what's wrong in a direct format. It comes in constant scenarios of her being too tired tonight, she's busy with work and the lack of enthusiasm to see you. After being brushed off for weeks, what does the guy do? He logically handles the situation by complaining and listing off all he's done for her.

Also important to know why she likes you.. or are you just the person who entertains her?

Posted by 1917191
The dynamic is different when it's same sex. When I'm dating women, they are typically very straightforward with their intentions and maybe even more aggressive/ persistent than some men from my experience.
I had the opposite happen to me. I specifically asked for casual and explained my reasons to a guy. He said he is fine with it, only to eventually get upset with me when I never changed my mind to ever want exclusive. It doesn't matter what the person is faking or being dishonest about, chances are they lie about other things to get what they want - I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with them anyway. Them being queer and poly doesn't get them an excuse to play games.

Agreed and well said.