What the bloody hell is going on here ... Water Bearers ?

Hello there dear Water Bearers,



So I am currently in a situation with a Water Bearer, his chart is as follows -

Water Bearer Sun

Merman Moon (though possible Ram Moon)

Goat Mercury

Goat Venus

Goat Mars



After a rough start, misunderstandings, denial of our feelings for each other, mixed signals, and hurting one another. Before we were together, he fought to be the man I chose to be with, he wanted me to be his. He compared me to all the other women he was with and said I was always the one that was going to be different, special, and he could not bare to lose me. He could forgo everyone but not me, as I was his closest friend. He always tried to figure out whether or not, I missed him when he was gone, whether or not I liked him, and if I so much as liked other men, he despised it though he tried to remain nonchalant. We finally ended up in a situation where we are now practically living together. Granted, of all the women he have had relationships with prior, he had never lived with one. Nobody has ever shared his home. He was adamant to gain my trust, and to change my mind about men / commitment / love. We both decided to be exclusive to one another, monogamous. Yet regarding commitment, I had to ask him one day what to call us when others asked what we are. He said I could call it whatever I like, so I said I would like to be called his SO. He agreed to it, thereby I thought he meant he agreed we were a couple. After all, he was perfectly fine knowing the public knew us as so. In fact, he himself referred to himself as my SO, more than once.

In order to prove the depth of how serious he was, he gave me the keys to his home. Which no woman has had before. This was all new to him. It was easy living together, on top of my professional career, I also made his home more like a home for once. I do the cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc. Strangely enough, all of which none of his SO ever did for him, nor could do in fact, such as cooking. They did not know how. He often asked me to make specific dishes for him, and was exceedingly happy when I did. He was constantly fascinated, surprised, and pleased that he finally found someone who he never knew could be what he wanted, whilst having her own professional ambitions as well. Why you ask would I do all that for a man ? Simply because I know of his professional ambitions, and his career rise has been draining him. It is my way of best supporting him, to make his life easier, so he could focus on it. He loves my cooking, mostly because no woman has ever taken care of him this way before. It was always him doing most of the work, prior. These are his words, not my own.

However, since having gotten to know me. He said I inspired him to want to be a better man, the best man he could be in terms of his success. Which meant, he now has a desire to move to a different city in about eight months time to further it. Yet, before we decided to be exclusive to one another. I kept giving him an out, told him he will be leaving soon. There would be no point to gain my trust, to invest, to work so hard on choosing one another if it would be all for not. He remained stubborn, adamant, that he will not hand in his notice for many more months still. That I may be the woman he has always been looking for, for marriage, to build a family, etc. I told him not to give me false hope, if he wishes to leave, I will support it, I never stopped a man from pursuing his dreams. I am not that type of woman.

He did everything to convince me that, he truly is looking for a reason to stay. Prior to me, he thought he would stay in this city for many more years. Now, suddenly he has decided he will be certain he will hand in his notice in four months time. However, he still tells me no action has been taken. Nothing is for certain, even though on a daily basis, he speaks as if he is leaving for sure. It hurts. When I support him, encouraging him to leave, telling him of my plans after he is gone. He is extremely hurt. So he wants me to remain attached but detached, he wants to be able to speak as if he is leaving. Yet when I support it entirely, he does not want me to speak as if I am expecting him to exit my life.

Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was.



So which is it, is this some kind of test ?



We are building a life together, yet somehow we are not. Living the life of two people together, yet somehow I have no say because suddenly I am not a SO. One minute he is extremely loving in all his actions, then next he is distant in his words. We are more than all of his past relationships combined, yet he reduces it to less than all that now in title. He loves me, is afraid to let me go, yet in anger during an argument once he told me to leave (I stayed, he seemed glad that I did). I inspire him one minute, the next he is worried that I might distract him. All I have done have been to be me, and ask for honesty on his side. I have made his life much easier, he knows it, yet at the same time in anger sometimes he throws it at me, that he could live alone, and have had for a very long time. That cut me to the core, I never doubted the fact that he could care for himself, I have cared for myself for a very long time as well. Yet, to shove that in my face, when he knew how much I did for him. He was the one to chase after a relationship, saying he was looking for love, the right woman, to build a family. He was the one to bring all that up before, to declare that he loves me. He said it so many a times now, and I have yet to say it still. We were living a life of two people together, and still are. He pulls me up close, and then shoves me away.



What the bloody hell is going on ?

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "



why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

Posted by lisabethur8

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "

why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?

Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.

He is making my heart ache.

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

I was with exact placements for 10 years.

They don’t commit easily so if you attach hard and fast with only lip service consider yourself done.

They need to earn their stripes.

I didn’t cook or do laundry either 😱 so if you’re doing it all something ain’t right. Don’t make it so easy for him geez.

It’s nice to serve your man but I saved that for bedtime. That’s when Venus Cap come into their own. 🔥

You mean I should play hard to get with the Venus in Goat, what do you mean earn their stripes ?

We discussed this, we both did not want to play games, we both were tired of it. We wanted to be with one person, and that was that. I never wanted to commit to him initially, I had an inkling he may hurt me. Yet, he fought hard for it, he wanted it all, it was not only lip service, he showed it through actions. That is why I am confused.

He was always fast in committing to other women in the past, women who gave far less whilst he had to do the brunt of the work. He resented them. Yet, when it came to the one woman he finally found who was exactly what he was looking for. He seems fearful, yet all his actions show, we are together.

Please do share more, from your experiences. 🙂

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by lisabethur8

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "

why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?

Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.

He is making my heart ache.

I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.

You have tons of patience, js.

click to expand

i like to be honest, and say straight.. i am with someone. (I have even said I LOVE HIM too)

if they STILL fall in love with me and want/desire me...

hey at least they know.



it has always been that way with me.



Nothing hidden. they all know..

Posted by Aquarelle

You say you are hurt because of his decision to leave. Yet, towards him, you tell him you support him if he wants to leave. I can imagine this is confusing to him. It may even make him feel you don't care, because if you would, you would ask him not to go, right?

It seems you make a lot of assumptions instead of having an honest and open talk with him about how you really feel.

In the meantime he is changing his mind. It seems he is having doubts about you, about the relationship. Is there no way you can move together? Does him handing in his notice mean you have to be seperated?

@Aquarelle, he knows I would be hurt if he decided to leave, I told him before we decided to be exclusive and monogamous / committed. That was why I was so very hesitant to believe him, when he said he wanted to change my mind on how I viewed men, love, and commitments. He told me he did not want to be like the other men in my life, he hated when I placed him in that category. He wanted to be different, to show me that such good committed men exists. I still did not believe nor trusted him, yet he kept fighting for me. He said let me show you how serious I mean, the next morning I woke to find him having made a copy of his keys and place them into my hands, wrapping my fingers around it. This is the beginning, let this be the start of me showing you, how serious this is.

Given the choice, he knows I do not want him to go, he knows that. I told him this before, but also loving someone means supporting them in their dreams and goals. If he really wants to leave, how could I ever stop him. I would want him happy. Keep in mind, before we went exclusive and monogamous / committed. When I was having my doubts, he would not let me go, he almost begged me to give him a chance to proof himself. Let him find a good reason to stay, that maybe he found the right woman in me, to motivate him to find a career option that would make him happy whilst remaining in this city.

We could move together, but he never said anything about it. It would be a big commitment move, to move together, we would move back to his home country. He said, if he wants to leave in eight months time, why would we be in a relationship if it would end when he leaves. Why be a couple during that time, yet we are living life as a very committed serious couple. His notice does not mean we have to be separated, I have not decided if I want to leave this city either, though I do have the desire.

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by lisabethur8

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "

why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?

Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.

He is making my heart ache.

I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.

You have tons of patience, js.

i like to be honest, and say straight.. i am with someone.

if they STILL fall in love with me and want/desire me...

hey at least they know.

Yeah... I'm extremely brutal about it. I would be like nah I'm not available even if I'm single and not ready.

In this case I feel, things moved too soon and she put everything on the table too soon for an air sign.

click to expand

he has capricorn in personal planets..... though. They are ..they usually have their "eye on a prize" and they dont really waver from it.

they only leave the scene when they know it's a completely hopeless case, meaning that she has her heart on someone else.

to me that's a hopeless case.

but i dont know... men get really sad when they can't have the one they want though.

they call it just super UNlucky to not get the girl they really want.



or ...in OP's case, he could be testing her reaction too.

to see how angry she would care or how intense her jealousy gets

u never know about these things..

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by lisabethur8

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "

why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?

Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.

He is making my heart ache.

I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.

You have tons of patience, js.

click to expand

Precisely why I was angry, especially when we had the discussion to refer to ourselves as a couple in a relationship to those who ask us. So publicly, we are known as so. Yet, now he said we were never in a relationship, nor were we ever a couple and that is why he tells such women he is single. I was fuming, he had the audacity to call me crazy for misunderstanding, when I am certain I did not misunderstand him.

Wtf, LadyScorpio is human ?! with problems similar to other humans ?!

I'm confused 😐

Posted by ACsquarepluto

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

He often asked me to make specific dishes for him, and was exceedingly happy when I did. He was constantly fascinated, surprised, and pleased that he finally found someone who he never knew could be what he wanted, whilst having her own professional ambitions as well. Why you ask would I do all that for a man ? Simply because I know of his professional ambitions, and his career rise has been draining him. It is my way of best supporting him, to make his life easier, so he could focus on it.

This selflessness is inspiring.

It sounds like you've been a profoundly motivating and supportive influence in his life, and this is what's inspiring him to take a career risk and move. I think his text telling the girl he's single and his angry words during your argument were mistakes, since he apologized. With patience and calm you might figure out a way to stay important to one another while he pursues his ambitions, when and if he moves.

click to expand

Have I @ACsquarepluto ? Since one day he will say so, yet another day, he suddenly finds me a distraction, it truly depends on his mood.

He did not verbally apologies to me, though his actions and affection the next morning showed he regretted the things he said.

Posted by ASCoppVenus

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by lisabethur8

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "

why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?

Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.

He is making my heart ache.

I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.

You have tons of patience, js.

i like to be honest, and say straight.. i am with someone.

if they STILL fall in love with me and want/desire me...

hey at least they know.

Yeah... I'm extremely brutal about it. I would be like nah I'm not available even if I'm single and not ready.

In this case I feel, things moved too soon and she put everything on the table too soon for an air sign.

I always tell people I’m in a relationship. Just some guys dont take it seriously. But at least they are informed. If we are committed i will feel betrayed if he ever said he is single. I’d probably breakup with him.

click to expand

That was what I felt, we were committed. We made the decision together, yet somehow he said now we never were. I thought I was dreaming, we had a very honest and sobering discussion where we shared what we truly wanted. We chose each other, to be exclusive, to be monogamous, he agreed to it. It suddenly had me question everything he ever told me, wondering if I ever knew this man. It was a stab to the heart, @AScoppvenus. I kept asking him why he said he was single, when we were together. He said we never were together, yet the life we are living, his actions, going out in public together. We were in a relationship. They said believe a man by his actions, well apparently his actions and words are very different.

I am confused, evidently. 😱

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

I was with exact placements for 10 years.

They don’t commit easily so if you attach hard and fast with only lip service consider yourself done.

They need to earn their stripes.

I didn’t cook or do laundry either 😱 so if you’re doing it all something ain’t right. Don’t make it so easy for him geez.

It’s nice to serve your man but I saved that for bedtime. That’s when Venus Cap come into their own. 🔥

I wonder how long they have been together. It feels too much too soon to me.

click to expand

Not long to be honest, it felt like too much too soon for me too. Yet it naturally and organically fell into this pattern, he was really afraid to lose me. Even now, despite his fluctuating behaviour, if I so much as mention finding his replacement once he leaves this city. He will go into hurt, and retreat mode. At the same time, he keeps pushing me away with his words about his desire to leave, and his plans to.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by lisabethur8

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "

why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?

Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.

He is making my heart ache.

I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.

You have tons of patience, js.

i like to be honest, and say straight.. i am with someone. (I have even said I LOVE HIM too)

if they STILL fall in love with me and want/desire me...

hey at least they know.



it has always been that way with me.



Nothing hidden. they all know..

click to expand

Well @lisabethur8, he has said he loves me, he misses me, he does not ever want me out of his life etc. more than once, referring himself as the man who will always care for me, calling himself my boyfriend. Yet, even despite all that, trusting me with his home etc. He still keeps things hidden until it surfaces, like that single comment incident, or that suddenly now, we are not in a relationship yet everything we do are ? 😱

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by lisabethur8

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "

why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?

Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.

He is making my heart ache.

I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.

You have tons of patience, js.

i like to be honest, and say straight.. i am with someone.

if they STILL fall in love with me and want/desire me...

hey at least they know.

Yeah... I'm extremely brutal about it. I would be like nah I'm not available even if I'm single and not ready.

In this case I feel, things moved too soon and she put everything on the table too soon for an air sign.

click to expand

I knew he was an air sign, I kept staying away, not wanting to move this fast. Yet, he pushed for it, he kept pushing and pushing, it was also mutually discussed between us. Also, he is Italian, they move far quicker than most.

Posted by ASCoppVenus

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

I was with exact placements for 10 years.

They don’t commit easily so if you attach hard and fast with only lip service consider yourself done.

They need to earn their stripes.

I didn’t cook or do laundry either 😱 so if you’re doing it all something ain’t right. Don’t make it so easy for him geez.

It’s nice to serve your man but I saved that for bedtime. That’s when Venus Cap come into their own. 🔥

Since you mentioned that, its very interesting. My aqua said he had an ex and were living with the woman for a year. Apparently the woman cooked and did stuff like a mum but he lost attraction for her instesd of feeling like a lucky man to get such a “service” oriented woman. Are aquas like that? I need clarification. I obviously dont do household chores for a man unless he marries me. I dont believe in being considered “wife material” because i can cook and clean. I’m wife material because I’m the best one he has ever had in general. Imperfect but perfect for him. If u know what I mean.

click to expand

He actually fell more in love with me when I did do such things for him. He said, it made him feel different, like nothing he ever felt before. Now that I pulled back a little, he would pout, to try to get me to make him meals again. I know he loved being taken care of, not that he is incapable, but because nobody cared for him like this before. Every time I pulled back, he would try hard to pull me back in, to do all these things for him. I know he enjoys it, despite him trying to retain his freedom and independent which I never took away from him. He knows, I would never control or suffocate him, I strongly believe in a man being career focused and have his own life too. Therefore this has been very frustrating.

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

I was with exact placements for 10 years.

They don’t commit easily so if you attach hard and fast with only lip service consider yourself done.

They need to earn their stripes.

I didn’t cook or do laundry either 😱 so if you’re doing it all something ain’t right. Don’t make it so easy for him geez.

It’s nice to serve your man but I saved that for bedtime. That’s when Venus Cap come into their own. 🔥

You mean I should play hard to get with the Venus in Goat, what do you mean earn their stripes ?

We discussed this, we both did not want to play games, we both were tired of it. We wanted to be with one person, and that was that. I never wanted to commit to him initially, I had an inkling he may hurt me. Yet, he fought hard for it, he wanted it all, it was not only lip service, he showed it through actions. That is why I am confused.

He was always fast in committing to other women in the past, women who gave far less whilst he had to do the brunt of the work. He resented them. Yet, when it came to the one woman he finally found who was exactly what he was looking for. He seems fearful, yet all his actions show, we are together.

Please do share more, from your experiences. 🙂

I’m glad you clarified my point cos absolutely do not play games..

Always keep it emotionally honest. I’m a huge proponent in keeping yourself regulated through honesty.

However.

Keep some cards close to your chest. Cherish your time. I wasn’t always willing to do things together which he appreciated but loathed at the same time.

I spoke my mind but kept it light mostly which Cap energy needs.

Capricorn mars and Venus however have this insatiable need to control and despite his Aqua Freedom fighter virtuoso which is part of our signs grand historical narrative...he just couldn’t chill out with keeping tabs.

He even admits this.

Brilliant father. Can’t fault him. Ever.

He’s still my closest friend and tbh he always will be.

click to expand

When I kept it close to my chest and light (especially prior to our mutual decision to be exclusive and monogamous), he would be hurt and react out, dating other women. When we had an honest discussion prior to our exclusivity, he said he did it because he thought I did not care enough about him, that I did not feel the same way for him as he did me. I told him that was so silly, all I cared and wanted was him. He was all I could think of, he said I was too light and carefree, giving him too much freedom, that he thought it meant I did not like him enough. He knows I am a woman to not hinder a man's freedom or independence. One thing I have learned about Water Bearer men is, let them be. I have had one propose to me in the past, therefore I thought I knew what I was doing but apparently even his actions of commitment to me now, seems to mean nothing ?

Posted by ASCoppVenus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

I was with exact placements for 10 years.

They don’t commit easily so if you attach hard and fast with only lip service consider yourself done.

They need to earn their stripes.

I didn’t cook or do laundry either 😱 so if you’re doing it all something ain’t right. Don’t make it so easy for him geez.

It’s nice to serve your man but I saved that for bedtime. That’s when Venus Cap come into their own. 🔥

You mean I should play hard to get with the Venus in Goat, what do you mean earn their stripes ?

We discussed this, we both did not want to play games, we both were tired of it. We wanted to be with one person, and that was that. I never wanted to commit to him initially, I had an inkling he may hurt me. Yet, he fought hard for it, he wanted it all, it was not only lip service, he showed it through actions. That is why I am confused.

He was always fast in committing to other women in the past, women who gave far less whilst he had to do the brunt of the work. He resented them. Yet, when it came to the one woman he finally found who was exactly what he was looking for. He seems fearful, yet all his actions show, we are together.

Please do share more, from your experiences. 🙂

Dating and aqua and dated several aquas in the past. @ladyscorpio even if he said he’s not playing games anymore and is sure of what he wants to have with you, I would suggest to not take it too seriously. Not because he is an aqua but because he is a man. Men can be confusing sometimes with words not matched by their actions. If he is serious, his actions will tell you. If he is commited he wouldnt say hes single. Dont pour all your love just yet and possibly leave one foot out the door, because men get bored easily once they already know where they stand (and men on dxp might hate me for this but it is based on my personal experience). Scorpios love intensely and not everyone can match that wonderful intensity. You just might end up disappointed. I hope you feel better xxxxx

click to expand

I knew this @ASCoppVenus, which was why prior to our mutual decision to be exclusive I kept giving him an out, that he could do whatever he wanted and we do not become monogamous to one another but that meant also my leaving him. The problem is, his actions have all shown me that he wants me, his words, well that depends on the day. Therefore this is the reverse issue, as they always say believe a man by his actions. Well, at this point, I no longer know what to believe in. Despite even his actions of worth, it might end up as nothing ? When we were still, not exclusive, he knew I was entertaining many other options, and actually was hung up over another Ram Gent. Every time I spoke of him, it angered him, he wanted me to chose, either him or the Ram. I cannot have both, I took a week away from him to see which man I wanted to invest in and I chose him. He knows this. Yet, if now, I were to keep one foot out the door, or entertain any of the men that still wrote me from my past, he would have a down right fit. He wants one thing, but says another. For some reason, he could tell women he is single, and if I did it, he would be jealous / posessive but would say otherwise.

Is he having his cake and trying to eat it too ?

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by lisabethur8

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "

why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?

Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.

He is making my heart ache.

I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.

You have tons of patience, js.

i like to be honest, and say straight.. i am with someone.

if they STILL fall in love with me and want/desire me...

hey at least they know.

Yeah... I'm extremely brutal about it. I would be like nah I'm not available even if I'm single and not ready.

In this case I feel, things moved too soon and she put everything on the table too soon for an air sign.

he has capricorn in personal planets..... though. They are ..they usually have their "eye on a prize" and they dont really waver from it.

they only leave the scene when they know it's a completely hopeless case, meaning that she has her heart on someone else.

to me that's a hopeless case.

but i dont know... men get really sad when they can't have the one they want though.

they call it just super UNlucky to not get the girl they really want.



or ...in OP's case, he could be testing her reaction too.

to see how angry she would care or how intense her jealousy gets

u never know about these things..

click to expand

Prior to being exclusive and monogamous with him, I had my eyes on a Ram Gent. He made me chose between him or the Ram. I chose him. He told me he did not want to be caught in the middle, with a woman who loved and was attracted to another man. He was always either angry, jealous, possessive, or sad, back in those days when I was caught up about the Ram Gent. Yet, now that I chose and care deeply for him, even love him. He is doing everything he is doing now. He has what he wanted, and now he seems all over the place.

Water Bearer men do such tests ? or is that his Goat bits ? for what reason ?

I thought Water Bearer men hated drama, @lisabethur8.

Posted by enfant_terrible

Wtf, LadyScorpio is human ?! with problems similar to other humans ?!

I'm confused 😐

Hah @enfant_terrible, was I not human prior ? 😆

Posted by ASCoppVenus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by ASCoppVenus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

I was with exact placements for 10 years.

They don’t commit easily so if you attach hard and fast with only lip service consider yourself done.

They need to earn their stripes.

I didn’t cook or do laundry either 😱 so if you’re doing it all something ain’t right. Don’t make it so easy for him geez.

It’s nice to serve your man but I saved that for bedtime. That’s when Venus Cap come into their own. 🔥

You mean I should play hard to get with the Venus in Goat, what do you mean earn their stripes ?

We discussed this, we both did not want to play games, we both were tired of it. We wanted to be with one person, and that was that. I never wanted to commit to him initially, I had an inkling he may hurt me. Yet, he fought hard for it, he wanted it all, it was not only lip service, he showed it through actions. That is why I am confused.

He was always fast in committing to other women in the past, women who gave far less whilst he had to do the brunt of the work. He resented them. Yet, when it came to the one woman he finally found who was exactly what he was looking for. He seems fearful, yet all his actions show, we are together.

Please do share more, from your experiences. 🙂

Dating and aqua and dated several aquas in the past. @ladyscorpio even if he said he’s not playing games anymore and is sure of what he wants to have with you, I would suggest to not take it too seriously. Not because he is an aqua but because he is a man. Men can be confusing sometimes with words not matched by their actions. If he is serious, his actions will tell you. If he is commited he wouldnt say hes single. Dont pour all your love just yet and possibly leave one foot out the door, because men get bored easily once they already know where they stand (and men on dxp might hate me for this but it is based on my personal experience). Scorpios love intensely and not everyone can match that wonderful intensity. You just might end up disappointed. I hope you feel better xxxxx

I knew this @ASCoppVenus, which was why prior to our mutual decision to be exclusive I kept giving him an out, that he could do whatever he wanted and we do not become monogamous to one another but that meant also my leaving him. The problem is, his actions have all shown me that he wants me, his words, well that depends on the day. Therefore this is the reverse issue, as they always say believe a man by his actions. Well, at this point, I no longer know what to believe in. Despite even his actions of worth, it might end up as nothing ? When we were still, not exclusive, he knew I was entertaining many other options, and actually was hung up over another Ram Gent. Every time I spoke of him, it angered him, he wanted me to chose, either him or the Ram. I cannot have both, I took a week away from him to see which man I wanted to invest in and I chose him. He knows this. Yet, if now, I were to keep one foot out the door, or entertain any of the men that still wrote me from my past, he would have a down right fit. He wants one thing, but says another. For some reason, he could tell women he is single, and if I did it, he would be jealous / posessive but would say otherwise.

Is he having his cake and trying to eat it too ?

His actions prove that he is indeed having his cake and trying to eat it too. Its hard to tell what caused this in between the committment part to saying he is single to another woman. But he is definitely playing something. You gotta revert back to your old self which was the one not fully invested in him. He throws a fit. Fine. Let him fight for your attention. He probably likes the competition and when he realized he has secured his place, he has changed his plans or probably moved on to another conquest. Its the only reason I can think of why he would say he is single when he clearly expressed his intent to commit with you in the past. Im really sorry for the frustration this is causing you. 😢

click to expand

That is quite alright, it is not your fault. He did not like the competition, he said so himself. He wanted me as his own, whenever I was casual before and having fun with others. He would always seethe in anger, he would say he is not angry, but I know him well enough to read him, to know he was. I never made myself a conquest, he knew this. He offered for me to move in actually, he made all these relationship moves forward, I was always the one dragging my foot all along. Ah, time will tell I suppose but you lot have been of immense help. 🙂

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by enfant_terrible

Wtf, LadyScorpio is human ?! with problems similar to other humans ?!

I'm confused 😐

Hah @enfant_terrible, was I not human prior ? 😆

click to expand

Yeah but you were so secretive about your personal life and your feelz you could have easily passed for an android lol. Or someone without a life.

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Posted by ASCoppVenus

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

I was with exact placements for 10 years.

They don’t commit easily so if you attach hard and fast with only lip service consider yourself done.

They need to earn their stripes.

I didn’t cook or do laundry either 😱 so if you’re doing it all something ain’t right. Don’t make it so easy for him geez.

It’s nice to serve your man but I saved that for bedtime. That’s when Venus Cap come into their own. 🔥

Since you mentioned that, its very interesting. My aqua said he had an ex and were living with the woman for a year. Apparently the woman cooked and did stuff like a mum but he lost attraction for her instesd of feeling like a lucky man to get such a “service” oriented woman. Are aquas like that? I need clarification. I obviously dont do household chores for a man unless he marries me. I dont believe in being considered “wife material” because i can cook and clean. I’m wife material because I’m the best one he has ever had in general. Imperfect but perfect for him. If u know what I mean.

I’m so suspicious when I see a lazy Aqua male..

Domestically they are amazing.

Machines.

So demonstrative in the home... brilliant fathers. 😍😍

That Aqua energy is just made for the home. Getting them there though. That’s the challenge and you sure as hell don’t do it but doing it all.

They love challenge. They love standards.

I really love keeping my home blissful so he rose to the challenge. I trained him in a way to respect our space cos it’s our home and it reflects the way we feel about ourselves.

I’m fkn organised sue me 😅😅🤪🤣

But Aqua men. Far out they just nail the brief in the home.

He’s a very hard act to follow. Things change though and we are great friends.

click to expand

I am very organised too, though he is as well but nothing like to my standards. He even says, my standards far exceeds his. Yes, I have also managed to train him in certain ways to keep his home a tidier place.

Therefore I suppose I did leave my mark ? 😆

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by enfant_terrible

Wtf, LadyScorpio is human ?! with problems similar to other humans ?!

I'm confused 😐

Hah @enfant_terrible, was I not human prior ? 😆

Yeah but you were so secretive about your personal life and your feelz you could have easily passed for an android lol. Or someone without a life.

click to expand

Well, I have spoken of my past relationships here before therefore I was not that secretive when it came to my personal life or the troubles I had regarding them. You seemed to have missed the memo though. 😆

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by lisabethur8

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "

why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?

Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.

He is making my heart ache.

I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.

You have tons of patience, js.

Precisely why I was angry, especially when we had the discussion to refer to ourselves as a couple in a relationship to those who ask us. So publicly, we are known as so. Yet, now he said we were never in a relationship, nor were we ever a couple and that is why he tells such women he is single. I was fuming, he had the audacity to call me crazy for misunderstanding, when I am certain I did not misunderstand him.

He's panicking.

I've seen this with scorp women and air sign men (mostly with my gem guy friends and an aqua guy friend).

This is how it goes from what I've seen.

Scorp women within a month gets attached or they go all in and work very hard which is a lot. Idk why but it doesn't surprise me anymore when I see scorp women do this esp with air sign men. What happens is air sign men do commit in their own way by spending time, sharing their world and also stay faithful to these ladies... but when things are "defined" as a relationshipe they panic. When things aren't defined, the guy is happy but the scorp women weren't happy and they threw tantrums and wanted to call it quits.

Imo, it works great if things were taken at a slower pace.

click to expand

I figured he may be panicking but keep in mind, he pushed for this more than I ever did. He wanted me to chose between him and another man I also liked, a Ram Gent. I chose him. I was happy to give him an out, that we do not have to call it a relationship just yet despite being exclusive and monogamous. We had this discussion, especially if he wants to leave in eight months time. Yet he chose, to agree, that I could tell people I am his SO, therefore for people to know we are a couple. He knows, I could revert back quite easily that I could detach. I was rather detached earlier, and that bothered him. The moment I attached, he panics. He cannot have it both ways, I kept giving him an out, every step of the way. I was not trying to hinder his freedom or independence, those are traits I love in a man. Therefore as Stinger as I am, he has as much responsibility in this as I do. Not that I am saying you are wrong, @BlueMarshmallow

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Posted by ASCoppVenus

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

I was with exact placements for 10 years.

They don’t commit easily so if you attach hard and fast with only lip service consider yourself done.

They need to earn their stripes.

I didn’t cook or do laundry either 😱 so if you’re doing it all something ain’t right. Don’t make it so easy for him geez.

It’s nice to serve your man but I saved that for bedtime. That’s when Venus Cap come into their own. 🔥

Since you mentioned that, its very interesting. My aqua said he had an ex and were living with the woman for a year. Apparently the woman cooked and did stuff like a mum but he lost attraction for her instesd of feeling like a lucky man to get such a “service” oriented woman. Are aquas like that? I need clarification. I obviously dont do household chores for a man unless he marries me. I dont believe in being considered “wife material” because i can cook and clean. I’m wife material because I’m the best one he has ever had in general. Imperfect but perfect for him. If u know what I mean.

I’m so suspicious when I see a lazy Aqua male..

Domestically they are amazing.

Machines.

So demonstrative in the home... brilliant fathers. 😍😍

That Aqua energy is just made for the home. Getting them there though. That’s the challenge and you sure as hell don’t do it but doing it all.

They love challenge. They love standards.

I really love keeping my home blissful so he rose to the challenge. I trained him in a way to respect our space cos it’s our home and it reflects the way we feel about ourselves.

I’m fkn organised sue me 😅😅🤪🤣

But Aqua men. Far out they just nail the brief in the home.

He’s a very hard act to follow. Things change though and we are great friends.

I am very organised too, though he is as well but nothing like to my standards. He even says, my standards far exceeds his. Yes, I have also managed to train him in certain ways to keep his home a tidier place.

Therefore I suppose I did leave my mark ? 😆

This is important. It’s a women dignified in her space.

Says so much about how you treat yourself.

I’m not sure what motivates his tantrums when you keep it light... maybe he knows you’re deep and anything else is an act.

Maybe he just wants unfiltered version but the problem is, they become beleaguered by consistency and need to be left guessing from time to time.

Not games though. Just a women dealing with stuff on her terms.

click to expand

The problem being @Waterbearerwearer, we both know each other is deep. Yet we both also know, we both could keep it light as if we do not really care. I have air in my chart as well, therefore I relate to that logical detachment. He hates it, when I go into that mode. He said, he cannot reach me and it bothers him. Therefore, I am very familiar with that energy. We are somehow very in tune and able to read each others energy, yet at the same time find each other confusing, possibly because we both hide behind a screen when we are hurt ?

What do you mean, in regards to a woman dealing with stuff on her own terms ?

Posted by ASCoppVenus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by ASCoppVenus

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by lisabethur8

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "

why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?

Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.

He is making my heart ache.

I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.

You have tons of patience, js.

i like to be honest, and say straight.. i am with someone.

if they STILL fall in love with me and want/desire me...

hey at least they know.

Yeah... I'm extremely brutal about it. I would be like nah I'm not available even if I'm single and not ready.

In this case I feel, things moved too soon and she put everything on the table too soon for an air sign.

I always tell people I’m in a relationship. Just some guys dont take it seriously. But at least they are informed. If we are committed i will feel betrayed if he ever said he is single. I’d probably breakup with him.

That was what I felt, we were committed. We made the decision together, yet somehow he said now we never were. I thought I was dreaming, we had a very honest and sobering discussion where we shared what we truly wanted. We chose each other, to be exclusive, to be monogamous, he agreed to it. It suddenly had me question everything he ever told me, wondering if I ever knew this man. It was a stab to the heart, @AScoppvenus. I kept asking him why he said he was single, when we were together. He said we never were together, yet the life we are living, his actions, going out in public together. We were in a relationship. They said believe a man by his actions, well apparently his actions and words are very different.

I am confused, evidently. 😱

I cant blame you for feeling that way. I would be fuming if I were in your shoes. I honestly do not understand what game he is playing when he already expressed committment with you. And no, you werent being delusional. He gave you keys to his place. What was that for if not committing? And him telling you it wasnt all real... he wasnt being fair to you. If you had known in the beginning, i think you would have gone out with other men who would have committed to you for real. Does he not realize that? You practically gave him your freedom to meet other people and he turns around like this?? Ugh. Just no. I think you have every right to get upset. I also think that you are capable of managing this. If hes saying its not committed then go ahead and give him a taste of his own medicine. You dont deserve to waste your time. Even if you love him, you gotta love and respect yourself more.

click to expand

He knows, I had other men still reaching out to me even after we decided to be exclusive. To remain honest, I never hid it from him and showed him. He would always show a carefree attitude about it, but I knew he did not like it. When we had the argument, I told him I chose him, as he chose me. I could have taken my investment, effort, and time elsewhere. He said he did not like that, to know that I was looking to replace him and he cannot continue if he knew I was just biding my time. I told him, then how is that fair, you just told a woman of your past, when she reached out, that you were single. Even though when she pushed for a date, you ignored all her following messages, you gave her hope.

I told him, I know I am worth a lot, I could do everything I am for you, for another man. I could just as easily inspire another, and help support him, to rise up, succeeding in his career ambitions. But the difference being, I chose to do it with and for him. If he does not want to chose me, then we have to rethink things. That was when he told me that maybe I should leave, and to give him back his keys. Then we argued some more, and I kept pushing since he kept wanting to know if I chose him. I asked him the same in return, he exclaimed but I choose you as well. Then I stayed. He knew I was looking for a commitment, as he told me he was as well. This was discussed over and over again, for so long. He actually brings up such discussions all the time, prior to our exclusivity.

Posted by ASCoppVenus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by ASCoppVenus

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

I was with exact placements for 10 years.

They don’t commit easily so if you attach hard and fast with only lip service consider yourself done.

They need to earn their stripes.

I didn’t cook or do laundry either 😱 so if you’re doing it all something ain’t right. Don’t make it so easy for him geez.

It’s nice to serve your man but I saved that for bedtime. That’s when Venus Cap come into their own. 🔥

Since you mentioned that, its very interesting. My aqua said he had an ex and were living with the woman for a year. Apparently the woman cooked and did stuff like a mum but he lost attraction for her instesd of feeling like a lucky man to get such a “service” oriented woman. Are aquas like that? I need clarification. I obviously dont do household chores for a man unless he marries me. I dont believe in being considered “wife material” because i can cook and clean. I’m wife material because I’m the best one he has ever had in general. Imperfect but perfect for him. If u know what I mean.

He actually fell more in love with me when I did do such things for him. He said, it made him feel different, like nothing he ever felt before. Now that I pulled back a little, he would pout, to try to get me to make him meals again. I know he loved being taken care of, not that he is incapable, but because nobody cared for him like this before. Every time I pulled back, he would try hard to pull me back in, to do all these things for him. I know he enjoys it, despite him trying to retain his freedom and independent which I never took away from him. He knows, I would never control or suffocate him, I strongly believe in a man being career focused and have his own life too. Therefore this has been very frustrating.

You are such a sweet scorp 😭😭😭😭😭 but you know what they say, dont be wife material for a man who is not husband material for you yet. So maybe caring a lot for him is too soon. Let him work hard for it. Like for example cook for him if he takes you out for dinner one evening or if he volunteers to do the dishes. Keep pulling back a bit more (i am so dead with aqua men. I bet i will get comments that gems are manipulative. Im expecting it alright lol) and let him chase for your love and care. These men dunno what they got til she’s gone. Im not saying leave him! But more like give him space to realize your worth. That life is incomplete without you. That will make him come for you and really commit not just through words but also through his actions.

click to expand

Aww, why thank you @ASCoppVenus, he had the same reaction when he first experienced life with me. He always said I was so sweet and he would have such an emotional response as well. I will do just that, I have already begun to take a step back in regards to keeping his place a loving home abode. Focusing back more unto my own professional career, not that I ever left it but to double the concentration on it. He sensed this, and it bothered him to be honest. He never fully experienced my tunnel vision work mode before, he got a taste of it the other day, and lets just say he was taken aback I could be that focused, in a world, completely without him in it.

Posted by ASCoppVenus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by ASCoppVenus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by ASCoppVenus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

I was with exact placements for 10 years.

They don’t commit easily so if you attach hard and fast with only lip service consider yourself done.

They need to earn their stripes.

I didn’t cook or do laundry either 😱 so if you’re doing it all something ain’t right. Don’t make it so easy for him geez.

It’s nice to serve your man but I saved that for bedtime. That’s when Venus Cap come into their own. 🔥

You mean I should play hard to get with the Venus in Goat, what do you mean earn their stripes ?

We discussed this, we both did not want to play games, we both were tired of it. We wanted to be with one person, and that was that. I never wanted to commit to him initially, I had an inkling he may hurt me. Yet, he fought hard for it, he wanted it all, it was not only lip service, he showed it through actions. That is why I am confused.

He was always fast in committing to other women in the past, women who gave far less whilst he had to do the brunt of the work. He resented them. Yet, when it came to the one woman he finally found who was exactly what he was looking for. He seems fearful, yet all his actions show, we are together.

Please do share more, from your experiences. 🙂

Dating and aqua and dated several aquas in the past. @ladyscorpio even if he said he’s not playing games anymore and is sure of what he wants to have with you, I would suggest to not take it too seriously. Not because he is an aqua but because he is a man. Men can be confusing sometimes with words not matched by their actions. If he is serious, his actions will tell you. If he is commited he wouldnt say hes single. Dont pour all your love just yet and possibly leave one foot out the door, because men get bored easily once they already know where they stand (and men on dxp might hate me for this but it is based on my personal experience). Scorpios love intensely and not everyone can match that wonderful intensity. You just might end up disappointed. I hope you feel better xxxxx

I knew this @ASCoppVenus, which was why prior to our mutual decision to be exclusive I kept giving him an out, that he could do whatever he wanted and we do not become monogamous to one another but that meant also my leaving him. The problem is, his actions have all shown me that he wants me, his words, well that depends on the day. Therefore this is the reverse issue, as they always say believe a man by his actions. Well, at this point, I no longer know what to believe in. Despite even his actions of worth, it might end up as nothing ? When we were still, not exclusive, he knew I was entertaining many other options, and actually was hung up over another Ram Gent. Every time I spoke of him, it angered him, he wanted me to chose, either him or the Ram. I cannot have both, I took a week away from him to see which man I wanted to invest in and I chose him. He knows this. Yet, if now, I were to keep one foot out the door, or entertain any of the men that still wrote me from my past, he would have a down right fit. He wants one thing, but says another. For some reason, he could tell women he is single, and if I did it, he would be jealous / posessive but would say otherwise.

Is he having his cake and trying to eat it too ?

His actions prove that he is indeed having his cake and trying to eat it too. Its hard to tell what caused this in between the committment part to saying he is single to another woman. But he is definitely playing something. You gotta revert back to your old self which was the one not fully invested in him. He throws a fit. Fine. Let him fight for your attention. He probably likes the competition and when he realized he has secured his place, he has changed his plans or probably moved on to another conquest. Its the only reason I can think of why he would say he is single when he clearly expressed his intent to commit with you in the past. Im really sorry for the frustration this is causing you. 😢

That is quite alright, it is not your fault. He did not like the competition, he said so himself. He wanted me as his own, whenever I was casual before and having fun with others. He would always seethe in anger, he would say he is not angry, but I know him well enough to read him, to know he was. I never made myself a conquest, he knew this. He offered for me to move in actually, he made all these relationship moves forward, I was always the one dragging my foot all along. Ah, time will tell I suppose but you lot have been of immense help. 🙂

Yes. Time will tell. Just please look after yourself. 🙂 You deserve a great, committed relationship. X

click to expand

You are very kind to tell me this, I will look after myself again in the same manner I did before. Detach a little, let him work for us, if he chooses me, he will fight for it. I chose him, and I fought for him. So let him prove himself, whilst being supportive and regain my sense of stability. Thank you for everything you have shared so far @ASCoppVenus, if there are any updates I will write about them.

First I have only read page 1 so far but lady I hurt for you. To have someone play the role of partner and show in every way they are and then to yank that away so callously is wrong imo.

I do have 1 question and then I will continue to read the rest. You mentioned he told you several time he cared, he loved you yet you had yet to say it back, did I read that correctly? Perhaps not saying it combined with your supporting him with his career and if was to leave you are okay with that came across as you not being as committed. Just something to consider.

Men are dumb sometimes! I will finish before I post again.

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by lisabethur8

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "

why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?

Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.

He is making my heart ache.

I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.

You have tons of patience, js.

i like to be honest, and say straight.. i am with someone.

if they STILL fall in love with me and want/desire me...

hey at least they know.

Yeah... I'm extremely brutal about it. I would be like nah I'm not available even if I'm single and not ready.

In this case I feel, things moved too soon and she put everything on the table too soon for an air sign.

I knew he was an air sign, I kept staying away, not wanting to move this fast. Yet, he pushed for it, he kept pushing and pushing, it was also mutually discussed between us. Also, he is Italian, they move far quicker than most.

We are air signs, BS artists. We will test your boundaries and see how far we are gonna get away with it... The way you push us back and put us in our place, the more respect you will get from us-- that in turn means we won't mess around with you. But that doesn't mean we don't want to be loved or adored by you... The trick is to give us a taste of what you got so we start to crave that energy, it should be so tantalising we come to you on our own. Imo, it's the easiest way to get us for good.

@TheLadyScorpio

This is my reply to your tag. I'm in a hurry so I will quote my previous post. Hope you find a way to make it work for you. All the best!

click to expand

Thank you for all your comments so far @BlueMarshmallow, greatly appreciated !

Should there be any new updates, I will write about them. 🙂

Hmmm finished the rest. The saying single to another woman really bothers me and then the fight escalating to him asking for his key backs isn't sitting well at all. For me that would be enough to reevaluate everything and to question everything.

Aqua men are very different in certain areas than us females but one thing I have found that is fairly constant is sharing our emotions with others. To verbally express love is a huge leap and not many will just say it without meaning behind it. Hope that is clear.

At this point he sounds like a jackass that doesn't know his head from his ass and panicking. You gave and gave from what you have shared and he ate it all up. Now if you have the desire to continue, do not give so freely via actions but verbally tell him you do love him if that is the case. Sounds silly but that not being said might be an underling insecurity of his.

Posted by justagirl

Hmmm finished the rest. The saying single to another woman really bothers me and then the fight escalating to him asking for his key backs isn't sitting well at all. For me that would be enough to reevaluate everything and to question everything.

Aqua men are very different in certain areas than us females but one thing I have found that is fairly constant is sharing our emotions with others. To verbally express love is a huge leap and not many will just say it without meaning behind it. Hope that is clear.

At this point he sounds like a jackass that doesn't know his head from his ass and panicking. You gave and gave from what you have shared and he ate it all up. Now if you have the desire to continue, do not give so freely via actions but verbally tell him you do love him if that is the case. Sounds silly but that not being said might be an underling insecurity of his.

@justagirl, the fight and him completely undoing his words, almost had me think perhaps I was delusional but apparently as confirmed, I am not. You see why I was fuming, he even had the audacity to say I was being crazy and irrational for reacting the way I did. He said it was too much drama for him, and he knew I was the least dramatic of all the women he ever knew. However, I had my limits, that reached the boundaries of it, and blew a fuse. I was very angry, I had every right to. The way he reacted to my anger, when he was in the wrong, then to try to put the blame on me. That night, lets just say I barely slept, I felt like I did not know the man who was laying next to me. The mere touch of him, burned me. Yet that next morning, he tried so hard to reach out affectionately, in hopes to undo the damage, but the damage was done, I was extremely hurt. Yes, I am still reevaluating and questioning everything. I never forced him into being exclusive, he wanted it. Yet he knew, if he wanted other women, he could not have me. It would hurt too much, I would leave him.

However, he said he loves me, as early as a few weeks into knowing one another. That was the very first time, yet when he said it, every time afterwards when I refer back to it. He would be in denial, as if he never meant it. That is why despite hearing - "I love you." so many times from him, I am not quite sure if he is being comedic, having a bit of fun, or that he deeply sincerely means this. A part of why, I had not said it back to him yet but of course, I love him. Why would a woman do all this if she did not love the man ?

I figured, he was panicking, I am not pressuring him at the moment, in fact I have been pushing him forward to achieve his desire to leave. The more I take a step back now, the more he reacts out of hurt. The more he tells me of his plans to do this or that, after he leaves this city. The more I am supportive of it, the more he seems to despise me for being supportive of it. It almost feels as if he wants to tell me to hurt me, and keep me detached. Yet when he feels me detaching, he is afraid I will not care enough, leave him, and forget him. I mean, choose, you cannot have it both ways. Water Bearers are a fixed sign as I am, as a Stinger. It is either this, or that, there is not other choice.

Posted by justagirl

First I have only read page 1 so far but lady I hurt for you. To have someone play the role of partner and show in every way they are and then to yank that away so callously is wrong imo.

I do have 1 question and then I will continue to read the rest. You mentioned he told you several time he cared, he loved you yet you had yet to say it back, did I read that correctly? Perhaps not saying it combined with your supporting him with his career and if was to leave you are okay with that came across as you not being as committed. Just something to consider.

Men are dumb sometimes! I will finish before I post again.

Ah, thank bloody hell god ... it is good to know my airiness have kept me logical. That my feeling the way I did, and my thoughts, were hardly irrational. I was always supportive of his career, but he also knew if given the choice, I would want to remain with him regardless, preferably that he stayed. Not that I do not want to leave this city either, I do, but that takes planning, and time, both financially, and career wise. I have told him, I cared, I have told him, I liked him, I have told him I chose him over every other man. If my actions do not show love, I do not know what will.

During that argument, he suddenly put it on me that I was the one to desire a title and a relationship. I told him, you were the one to fight for me to chose only you. You were the one to work so hard to gain my trust, to want me to believe in you, to give me the keys to your home, entrust me all this, to chose to live together.

Why invest all that effort and time if I was nothing to you, no man would do all that for the sake of it, especially when I was dragging my feet along, and this was before I was making his home a loving abode?

He never answered my question, no matter how I framed it.

[Thank you @justagirl, for the taking the time to read my thread though, very much appreciated !]

You are such a sweet scorp 😭😭😭😭😭 but you know what they say, dont be wife material for a man who is not husband material for you yet. So maybe caring a lot for him is too soon. Let him work hard for it. Like for example cook for him if he takes you out for dinner one evening or if he volunteers to do the dishes. Keep pulling back a bit more (i am so dead with aqua men. I bet i will get comments that gems are manipulative. Im expecting it alright lol) and let him chase for your love and care. These men dunno what they got til she’s gone. Im not saying leave him! But more like give him space to realize your worth. That life is incomplete without you. That will make him come for you and really commit not just through words but also through his actions.

click to expand

Spent (maybe wasted is a better word) four years with a scorp sun/aqua moon/cap mars. He never fully let me in until I grew tired of not being claimed. After I walked away he told me I was the only woman he had ever loved. So I'll agree with your comment about not knowing what they have until it's gone, and it's a shame really...

@TheLadyScorpio, trying to mesh with an air sign is difficult for water/water dominant signs. Do you love him/have passion for him? I'm not hearing either in what you have shared...

Posted by Jules-ll

You are such a sweet scorp 😭😭😭😭😭 but you know what they say, dont be wife material for a man who is not husband material for you yet. So maybe caring a lot for him is too soon. Let him work hard for it. Like for example cook for him if he takes you out for dinner one evening or if he volunteers to do the dishes. Keep pulling back a bit more (i am so dead with aqua men. I bet i will get comments that gems are manipulative. Im expecting it alright lol) and let him chase for your love and care. These men dunno what they got til she’s gone. Im not saying leave him! But more like give him space to realize your worth. That life is incomplete without you. That will make him come for you and really commit not just through words but also through his actions.

Spent (maybe wasted is a better word) four years with a scorp sun/aqua moon/cap mars. He never fully let me in until I grew tired of not being claimed. After I walked away he told me I was the only woman he had ever loved. So I'll agree with your comment about not knowing what they have until it's gone, and it's a shame really...

@TheLadyScorpio, trying to mesh with an air sign is difficult for water/water dominant signs. Do you love him/have passion for him? I'm not hearing either in what you have shared...

click to expand

Well @Jules-II, I have had experiences with air signs before, and I have air in my own chart. Of course I love him, you think a Stinger woman would do all that for a man, if she did not love him ? What makes you think I do not love or have passion for him, because I am not forcing him to stay, and encouraging him to follow his dreams / goals ? If given a choice, I would not want to let him go. Why else do you think despite our intense argument, I fought to stay, if I chose someone I do not simply leave at any difficult turn, I fight for them. Though, with his response, I will have to reevaluate everything to see if he will fight for me as well.

I believe, that is true love, when you do not hinder the one you care for, and their dreams. Now, simply because I am not forcing him to stay does not mean I would not want him to stay. He knows, I would want him to stay, and given if there was more time. I would even move with him but there is not enough time for me to plan out my career, life, finances etc. in order to fulfill that eight month period he has set out. Granted, as he always tells me, nothing is confirmed yet, the notice has not been handed in. Yes, that is true, but if he decided that he will hand it in, it might as well be done, that he is leaving, no ?

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Jules-ll

You are such a sweet scorp 😭😭😭😭😭 but you know what they say, dont be wife material for a man who is not husband material for you yet. So maybe caring a lot for him is too soon. Let him work hard for it. Like for example cook for him if he takes you out for dinner one evening or if he volunteers to do the dishes. Keep pulling back a bit more (i am so dead with aqua men. I bet i will get comments that gems are manipulative. Im expecting it alright lol) and let him chase for your love and care. These men dunno what they got til she’s gone. Im not saying leave him! But more like give him space to realize your worth. That life is incomplete without you. That will make him come for you and really commit not just through words but also through his actions.

Spent (maybe wasted is a better word) four years with a scorp sun/aqua moon/cap mars. He never fully let me in until I grew tired of not being claimed. After I walked away he told me I was the only woman he had ever loved. So I'll agree with your comment about not knowing what they have until it's gone, and it's a shame really...

@TheLadyScorpio, trying to mesh with an air sign is difficult for water/water dominant signs. Do you love him/have passion for him? I'm not hearing either in what you have shared...

Well @Jules-II, I have had experiences with air signs before, and I have air in my own chart. Of course I love him, you think a Stinger woman would do all that for a man, if she did not love him ? What makes you think I do not love or have passion for him, because I am not forcing him to stay, and encouraging him to follow his dreams / goals ? If given a choice, I would not want to let him go. Why else do you think despite our intense argument, I fought to stay, if I chose someone I do not simply leave at any difficult turn, I fight for them. Though, with his response, I will have to reevaluate everything to see if he will fight for me as well.

I believe, that is true love, when you do not hinder the one you care for, and their dreams. Now, simply because I am not forcing him to stay does not mean I would not want him to stay. He knows, I would want him to stay, and given if there was more time. I would even move with him but there is not enough time for me to plan out my career, life, finances etc. in order to fulfill that eight month period he has set out. Granted, as he always tells me, nothing is confirmed yet, the notice has not been handed in. Yes, that is true, but if he decided that he will hand it in, it might as well be done, that he is leaving, no ?

click to expand

I'm the same, people have free will to make their own choices. Would do the same in your scenario. Not saying you don't love him, I'm not hearing love from him. Maybe I'm incorrect, but just my vibe from what you're saying. The whole not claiming you and putting it back on you is one-sided. Glad you are re-evaluating, going through a similar situation myself after 10 months of a monogamous relationship. This amore thing is never easy, is it? Think it's time for me to go to The Dazed's School of Being Single, alas....

Posted by Jules-ll

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Jules-ll

You are such a sweet scorp 😭😭😭😭😭 but you know what they say, dont be wife material for a man who is not husband material for you yet. So maybe caring a lot for him is too soon. Let him work hard for it. Like for example cook for him if he takes you out for dinner one evening or if he volunteers to do the dishes. Keep pulling back a bit more (i am so dead with aqua men. I bet i will get comments that gems are manipulative. Im expecting it alright lol) and let him chase for your love and care. These men dunno what they got til she’s gone. Im not saying leave him! But more like give him space to realize your worth. That life is incomplete without you. That will make him come for you and really commit not just through words but also through his actions.

Spent (maybe wasted is a better word) four years with a scorp sun/aqua moon/cap mars. He never fully let me in until I grew tired of not being claimed. After I walked away he told me I was the only woman he had ever loved. So I'll agree with your comment about not knowing what they have until it's gone, and it's a shame really...

@TheLadyScorpio, trying to mesh with an air sign is difficult for water/water dominant signs. Do you love him/have passion for him? I'm not hearing either in what you have shared...

Well @Jules-II, I have had experiences with air signs before, and I have air in my own chart. Of course I love him, you think a Stinger woman would do all that for a man, if she did not love him ? What makes you think I do not love or have passion for him, because I am not forcing him to stay, and encouraging him to follow his dreams / goals ? If given a choice, I would not want to let him go. Why else do you think despite our intense argument, I fought to stay, if I chose someone I do not simply leave at any difficult turn, I fight for them. Though, with his response, I will have to reevaluate everything to see if he will fight for me as well.

I believe, that is true love, when you do not hinder the one you care for, and their dreams. Now, simply because I am not forcing him to stay does not mean I would not want him to stay. He knows, I would want him to stay, and given if there was more time. I would even move with him but there is not enough time for me to plan out my career, life, finances etc. in order to fulfill that eight month period he has set out. Granted, as he always tells me, nothing is confirmed yet, the notice has not been handed in. Yes, that is true, but if he decided that he will hand it in, it might as well be done, that he is leaving, no ?

I'm the same, people have free will to make their own choices. Would do the same in your scenario. Not saying you don't love him, I'm not hearing love from him. Maybe I'm incorrect, but just my vibe from what you're saying. The whole not claiming you and putting it back on you is one-sided. Glad you are re-evaluating, going through a similar situation myself after 10 months of a monogamous relationship. This amore thing is never easy, is it? Think it's time for me to go to The Dazed's School of Being Single, alas....

click to expand

The issue was he did claim me, he claimed me and then backtracked. Which is all the worse, and now we are in No Man's Land. In the past, prior to us being exclusive and monogamous, he always told me I was free to do whatever it was that I wanted. So I did, and he never liked it. On one hand he would say one thing, when I took him for his word, he was hurt. Now that he told the woman he was single, though he ignored all further contact and advances. I told him how would he feel if I told men I was single, and let other men chase me despite us choosing to be exclusive and monogamous. He remained silent.

You see how much of a hypocrite he is being ?

"and pleased that he finally found someone who he never knew could be what he wanted, whilst having her own professional ambitions as well"

Beware of manipulation maneuvers where you are felt valuable for making decisions that don't belong to you, expect selflessness from him as well, not appreciation for your sacrifices. Boundaries are necessary in life.

I would not advise any game or change of route more than your reflection over how your needs are being met in this relationship and his effort in fulfilling them in general.

Posted by Blackburn

"and pleased that he finally found someone who he never knew could be what he wanted, whilst having her own professional ambitions as well"

Beware of manipulation maneuvers where you are felt valuable for making decisions that don't belong to you, expect selflessness from him as well, not appreciation for your sacrifices. Boundaries are necessary in life.

I would not advise any game or change of route more than your reflection over how your needs are being met in this relationship and his effort in fulfilling them in general.

I could feel appreciation but I do not sense selflessness on his part, to be honest. Which is why, I am now pulling back on my selflessness, because you could only give so much before you realise, maybe this is not a balanced enough exchange. Lots of reflection needed, of course, and hopefully an honest conversation with him some time soon. He has been a bit distant in communication lately.

Sounds like he has you a bit up on a pedestal and it’s motivated him to step up in his career. Wanting to be ‘worthy’ of you.

I think it does hurt him when you talk about your life post him moving. He retaliated by saying he’s single to gauge your reaction.

Would you consider long distance for a time if you had a plan in place to be under one roof again?

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Blackburn

"and pleased that he finally found someone who he never knew could be what he wanted, whilst having her own professional ambitions as well"

Beware of manipulation maneuvers where you are felt valuable for making decisions that don't belong to you, expect selflessness from him as well, not appreciation for your sacrifices. Boundaries are necessary in life.

I would not advise any game or change of route more than your reflection over how your needs are being met in this relationship and his effort in fulfilling them in general.

I could feel appreciation but I do not sense selflessness on his part, to be honest. Which is why, I am now pulling back on my selflessness, because you could only give so much before you realise, maybe this is not a balanced enough exchange. Lots of reflection needed, of course, and hopefully an honest conversation with him some time soon. He has been a bit distant in communication lately.

click to expand

Same here, time to step back and evaluate my relationship. Why do we as women mold and give, only to not expect just as much in return? I'm much stronger and smarter than this, but love screws my head up...

Posted by LadyNeptune

Sounds like he has you a bit up on a pedestal and it’s motivated him to step up in his career. Wanting to be ‘worthy’ of you.

I think it does hurt him when you talk about your life post him moving. He retaliated by saying he’s single to gauge your reaction.

Would you consider long distance for a time if you had a plan in place to be under one roof again?

Interesting @LadyNeptune, I never saw it that way. What makes you think that I am on a pedestal ?

Though he always did say, he is always surprised at how clever and intelligent I am, it never ceases to surprise him how much knowledge I know on so many things. Especially, knowledge regarding his field of work, even though it is completely different to my own.

The way he speaks of stepping up in his career, sounds more for his own happiness, than for me though. He is unhappy about where he is now, but no woman before me, actually knew about his field of work enough to discuss where he envisions his future, and how to go about achieving it. Only through me, has he redeveloped goals and plans to follow through on. He told me so, prior to me, he never saw or had the motivation to change this way.

Well @LadyNeptune, if he said it to gauge my reaction, I clearly showed him I cared, want, and choose him. Yet it backfired on me, so what kind of a test was it ? he went so far as to say he wanted his keys back and I should go during that argument, even though I fought to not let a moment of anger between us blow everything up ?

If it hurts him to hear me speak of my life, post him moving. Why does he keep talking of his life, after he leaves this city ? He never stops speaking of it, it hurts me to hear it, he knows it. So is he not pushing for me to detach as well, because when I do not detach and remain attached. He pushes more. He even proposed that I could live at his home once he leaves. I could take over should I wish to stay at his place. I told him I could not, the memories of him would kill me. I would have to try to forget he ever existed once he leaves my life. The pain would be too hard on me, then he goes silent. He told me that was silly, that it should not matter, that I should take over his place.

If I could manage to plan my life out, then I would consider being with him in another city. However, I would only move for a man if I know he is solid. His behaviour now, makes me have doubts. I need to know that if I move for a man, he will be reliable, someone I know who will be there through thick or thin, and not abandon me.

Posted by Jules-ll

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Blackburn

"and pleased that he finally found someone who he never knew could be what he wanted, whilst having her own professional ambitions as well"

Beware of manipulation maneuvers where you are felt valuable for making decisions that don't belong to you, expect selflessness from him as well, not appreciation for your sacrifices. Boundaries are necessary in life.

I would not advise any game or change of route more than your reflection over how your needs are being met in this relationship and his effort in fulfilling them in general.

I could feel appreciation but I do not sense selflessness on his part, to be honest. Which is why, I am now pulling back on my selflessness, because you could only give so much before you realise, maybe this is not a balanced enough exchange. Lots of reflection needed, of course, and hopefully an honest conversation with him some time soon. He has been a bit distant in communication lately.

Same here, time to step back and evaluate my relationship. Why do we as women mold and give, only to not expect just as much in return? I'm much stronger and smarter than this, but love screws my head up...

click to expand

Love, a feeling we cannot control. The heart wants what the heart wants. However, at the end of the day Love is a choice, we could only hope others will make the same choices we do.

You are still with your Stinger Gent ?

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Blackburn

"and pleased that he finally found someone who he never knew could be what he wanted, whilst having her own professional ambitions as well"

Beware of manipulation maneuvers where you are felt valuable for making decisions that don't belong to you, expect selflessness from him as well, not appreciation for your sacrifices. Boundaries are necessary in life.

I would not advise any game or change of route more than your reflection over how your needs are being met in this relationship and his effort in fulfilling them in general.

I could feel appreciation but I do not sense selflessness on his part, to be honest. Which is why, I am now pulling back on my selflessness, because you could only give so much before you realise, maybe this is not a balanced enough exchange. Lots of reflection needed, of course, and hopefully an honest conversation with him some time soon. He has been a bit distant in communication lately.

click to expand

----

IME when we give more often than not the other person ends up feeling too worthy of the sacrifice. I'm wary of not meeting people halfway because we usually expect some kind of exchange and it's easy to either start keeping track of things or give in too much in other's demands.

It sounds like a good idea, hope you get things straight.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by lisabethur8

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "

why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?

Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.

He is making my heart ache.

I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.

You have tons of patience, js.

Precisely why I was angry, especially when we had the discussion to refer to ourselves as a couple in a relationship to those who ask us. So publicly, we are known as so. Yet, now he said we were never in a relationship, nor were we ever a couple and that is why he tells such women he is single. I was fuming, he had the audacity to call me crazy for misunderstanding, when I am certain I did not misunderstand him.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by lisabethur8

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "

why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?

Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.

He is making my heart ache.

I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.

You have tons of patience, js.

Precisely why I was angry, especially when we had the discussion to refer to ourselves as a couple in a relationship to those who ask us. So publicly, we are known as so. Yet, now he said we were never in a relationship, nor were we ever a couple and that is why he tells such women he is single. I was fuming, he had the audacity to call me crazy for misunderstanding, when I am certain I did not misunderstand him.

click to expand

I think he wants out. Yes he cares, he doesn’t want to hurt you, he knows you are good to him but he is not committed to you anymore.

He may need separate time to think things over but right now in his mind he’s single and free and you are not going to change that.

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by lisabethur8

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "

why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?

Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.

He is making my heart ache.

I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.

You have tons of patience, js.

Precisely why I was angry, especially when we had the discussion to refer to ourselves as a couple in a relationship to those who ask us. So publicly, we are known as so. Yet, now he said we were never in a relationship, nor were we ever a couple and that is why he tells such women he is single. I was fuming, he had the audacity to call me crazy for misunderstanding, when I am certain I did not misunderstand him.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by lisabethur8

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "

why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?

Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.

He is making my heart ache.

I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.

You have tons of patience, js.

Precisely why I was angry, especially when we had the discussion to refer to ourselves as a couple in a relationship to those who ask us. So publicly, we are known as so. Yet, now he said we were never in a relationship, nor were we ever a couple and that is why he tells such women he is single. I was fuming, he had the audacity to call me crazy for misunderstanding, when I am certain I did not misunderstand him.

I think he wants out. Yes he cares, he doesn’t want to hurt you, he knows you are good to him but he is not committed to you anymore.

He may need separate time to think things over but right now in his mind he’s single and free and you are not going to change that.

click to expand

Except he is not single and free, after the argument, he still agreed that he is still choosing me, and that we remain exclusive / monogamous but not committed in the sense, that we are not a couple. I am not forcing him into anything, he knows it.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by lisabethur8

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "

why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?

Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.

He is making my heart ache.

I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.

You have tons of patience, js.

Precisely why I was angry, especially when we had the discussion to refer to ourselves as a couple in a relationship to those who ask us. So publicly, we are known as so. Yet, now he said we were never in a relationship, nor were we ever a couple and that is why he tells such women he is single. I was fuming, he had the audacity to call me crazy for misunderstanding, when I am certain I did not misunderstand him.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by lisabethur8

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "

why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?

Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.

He is making my heart ache.

I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.

You have tons of patience, js.

Precisely why I was angry, especially when we had the discussion to refer to ourselves as a couple in a relationship to those who ask us. So publicly, we are known as so. Yet, now he said we were never in a relationship, nor were we ever a couple and that is why he tells such women he is single. I was fuming, he had the audacity to call me crazy for misunderstanding, when I am certain I did not misunderstand him.

I think he wants out. Yes he cares, he doesn’t want to hurt you, he knows you are good to him but he is not committed to you anymore.

He may need separate time to think things over but right now in his mind he’s single and free and you are not going to change that.

Except he is not single and free, after the argument, he still agreed that he is still choosing me, and that we remain exclusive / monogamous but not committed in the sense, that we are not a couple. I am not forcing him into anything, he knows it.

click to expand

So you are together but he is moving away and he says you are not a couple.

It’s just that. He is happy as he is right now but he is not committed to you.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Jules-ll

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Blackburn

"and pleased that he finally found someone who he never knew could be what he wanted, whilst having her own professional ambitions as well"

Beware of manipulation maneuvers where you are felt valuable for making decisions that don't belong to you, expect selflessness from him as well, not appreciation for your sacrifices. Boundaries are necessary in life.

I would not advise any game or change of route more than your reflection over how your needs are being met in this relationship and his effort in fulfilling them in general.

I could feel appreciation but I do not sense selflessness on his part, to be honest. Which is why, I am now pulling back on my selflessness, because you could only give so much before you realise, maybe this is not a balanced enough exchange. Lots of reflection needed, of course, and hopefully an honest conversation with him some time soon. He has been a bit distant in communication lately.

Same here, time to step back and evaluate my relationship. Why do we as women mold and give, only to not expect just as much in return? I'm much stronger and smarter than this, but love screws my head up...

Love, a feeling we cannot control. The heart wants what the heart wants. However, at the end of the day Love is a choice, we could only hope others will make the same choices we do.

You are still with your Stinger Gent ?

click to expand

Truer words have never been said. And that is the hardest part about relationships, to ensure that they aren't one-sided or lopsided.

I am, but last weekend he casually dropped into conversation that in a little over two years from now his plan is to move out of NY. Last night he told me he wants to leave his dog with me when he moves. So my dilemma is do I enjoy the next two years with him, or disengage myself now so I don't invest more time and feelings into something that will inevitably end? Rather torn up over this today, throwing myself into work to avoid thinking/feeling....

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by lisabethur8

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "

why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?

Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.

He is making my heart ache.

I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.

You have tons of patience, js.

Precisely why I was angry, especially when we had the discussion to refer to ourselves as a couple in a relationship to those who ask us. So publicly, we are known as so. Yet, now he said we were never in a relationship, nor were we ever a couple and that is why he tells such women he is single. I was fuming, he had the audacity to call me crazy for misunderstanding, when I am certain I did not misunderstand him.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by BlueMarshmallow

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by lisabethur8

"Recently, one of the women he had dated in the past, reached out to him and he wrote that he was single. He showed me all the messages, and that angered me. We agreed on what we were, we were living as a couple, we talk like a couple, he referred to himself as my SO. No, he did not reply further to those women after saying so despite their constant messages. He told me he would not and he did not. However, that was a dagger to my heart. We had an intense argument afterwards, where he tried to undo all that he ever said to me, all those promises. As if I was nothing, that I never mattered to him, that I was never a SO to him. It got so bad, he told me to give him back his keys and that I should leave. Yet in the end, I fought to stay and he, I believe wanted me to as well. As the next morning, he seemed very regretful or remorseful and was very loving, trying to gauge how hurt I was. "

why he say he is single if he's with you?



he's not single anymore. he's with u. that should be already known without words.

and why he has to encourage these women in the past that he's single? Instead of saying I'm in love /love someone else and i'm attached now?

that part i dont like that he did that ...

some of these men, ugh.

so insecure. he needs to put his foot down and want you only you.



because he has that capricorn, i can only guess he is super insecure about you, and doesn't know if you love him the same way. He needs to have one foot out the door, while having his other one INSIDE the door.

until you show you with deepest affection that he is all you need.

although i'm not sure if that's from his capricorn or pisces or even from his aquarius.

although i'm a woman, i'm pretty needy and get really sad when i dont sense the INTENSITY ...



i can see you are also frustrated at his actions.

let us know what's going on after this.

I have shown him with everything I have that I want him and nobody else. We practically live together, I help him keep his home and life tidy so he could focus all his energy on his professional career and rise. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically I keep showing him that I care, @lisabethur8. This is all Stinger energy being thrown at him, how much more clear could I be ?

Precisely, he told them he was single. I told him but we are together, if I went or told another man I was single. He would have had a fit, I even told him if I were to tell another man that - how would you feel ? He went completely silent, he knows he would hate it. I told him, yes you are not replying these women after they write you and after having said you are single. Yet you are leading them on by giving them false hope by saying that, that is not right. If I spoke with other men this way, he would say I cheated (yet if we are not a couple, as he says now, it would not be considered cheating) Then he had a fit, and argument that we are in fact not together, nor are we a couple, that I misunderstood everything. All his actions told me, we are together, but his words keep changing.

He is making my heart ache.

I would have walked out if my guy were to say he is single to anyone when we are in a relationship.

You have tons of patience, js.

Precisely why I was angry, especially when we had the discussion to refer to ourselves as a couple in a relationship to those who ask us. So publicly, we are known as so. Yet, now he said we were never in a relationship, nor were we ever a couple and that is why he tells such women he is single. I was fuming, he had the audacity to call me crazy for misunderstanding, when I am certain I did not misunderstand him.

I think he wants out. Yes he cares, he doesn’t want to hurt you, he knows you are good to him but he is not committed to you anymore.

He may need separate time to think things over but right now in his mind he’s single and free and you are not going to change that.

Except he is not single and free, after the argument, he still agreed that he is still choosing me, and that we remain exclusive / monogamous but not committed in the sense, that we are not a couple. I am not forcing him into anything, he knows it.

So you are together but he is moving away and he says you are not a couple.

It’s just that. He is happy as he is right now but he is not committed to you.

click to expand

Well, we are together, but he wants to move away, or rather he wants to make changes to his career so he will be happier. Yet, he keeps telling me, though he wants to move, nothing is confirmed or concrete. However, prior for so long, he fought for exclusivity, for our monogamous connection, for commitment. He was ok with the public knowing us as a couple. I am not saying there is no possibility to what you are saying but it is not that black and white, if it were, my decision reflection process would be far easier.

Did you read the entire thread ?

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by justagirl

Hmmm finished the rest. The saying single to another woman really bothers me and then the fight escalating to him asking for his key backs isn't sitting well at all. For me that would be enough to reevaluate everything and to question everything.

Aqua men are very different in certain areas than us females but one thing I have found that is fairly constant is sharing our emotions with others. To verbally express love is a huge leap and not many will just say it without meaning behind it. Hope that is clear.

At this point he sounds like a jackass that doesn't know his head from his ass and panicking. You gave and gave from what you have shared and he ate it all up. Now if you have the desire to continue, do not give so freely via actions but verbally tell him you do love him if that is the case. Sounds silly but that not being said might be an underling insecurity of his.

@justagirl, the fight and him completely undoing his words, almost had me think perhaps I was delusional but apparently as confirmed, I am not. You see why I was fuming, he even had the audacity to say I was being crazy and irrational for reacting the way I did. He said it was too much drama for him, and he knew I was the least dramatic of all the women he ever knew. However, I had my limits, that reached the boundaries of it, and blew a fuse. I was very angry, I had every right to. The way he reacted to my anger, when he was in the wrong, then to try to put the blame on me. That night, lets just say I barely slept, I felt like I did not know the man who was laying next to me. The mere touch of him, burned me. Yet that next morning, he tried so hard to reach out affectionately, in hopes to undo the damage, but the damage was done, I was extremely hurt. Yes, I am still reevaluating and questioning everything. I never forced him into being exclusive, he wanted it. Yet he knew, if he wanted other women, he could not have me. It would hurt too much, I would leave him.

However, he said he loves me, as early as a few weeks into knowing one another. That was the very first time, yet when he said it, every time afterwards when I refer back to it. He would be in denial, as if he never meant it. That is why despite hearing - "I love you." so many times from him, I am not quite sure if he is being comedic, having a bit of fun, or that he deeply sincerely means this. A part of why, I had not said it back to him yet but of course, I love him. Why would a woman do all this if she did not love the man ?

I figured, he was panicking, I am not pressuring him at the moment, in fact I have been pushing him forward to achieve his desire to leave. The more I take a step back now, the more he reacts out of hurt. The more he tells me of his plans to do this or that, after he leaves this city. The more I am supportive of it, the more he seems to despise me for being supportive of it. It almost feels as if he wants to tell me to hurt me, and keep me detached. Yet when he feels me detaching, he is afraid I will not care enough, leave him, and forget him. I mean, choose, you cannot have it both ways. Water Bearers are a fixed sign as I am, as a Stinger. It is either this, or that, there is not other choice.

click to expand

Aquas cane be hypocrites and paradoxes at the same time. At least I know I can be. TBH, I don't know how others put up with our shit sometimes. I wish I could make suggests on how to help but I really do not know what to say other than what I have. I will say, words mean everything to this Aqua, perhaps he is similar? I am not action oriented in my love language. do you happen to know his merc? I will hope its not Cap like mine.