Grumpycamper
@777
7 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 208 · Posts: 3009 · Topics: 245
Dating a woman with kids is a huge responsibility
Then i suppose don't date someone with kids if you can't handle such a responsibility
Posted by WangsNoodleHouse
If you can’t handle me with kids...
You’re excelling again with your new name, image and posts/commentators
🤪😂
Posted by 777
raising someone's kid is basically taking on a piece of someone else's lifetime debt. it's basically like owning a little house but all it does is suck your money with little chance of return in the future.
Most men who choose this must be financially irresponsible, or rich (I'm sure 99% aren't). It totally takes away time & mind you could be using to be more productive.
Raising a child and providing everything for a child are two vastly different things.
It is entirely possible to raise a child without being wealthy. In some aspects a small amount of hardship is not entirely negative because if can foster a greater sense of appreciation and an understanding for determination and hard work.
Adversely... Yes, providing for a child can be very cost time and labor extensive/expensive. Even here there's a difference in level that will vary depending on socioeconomic status.
There is one consideration I believe that you have failed to factor in though... What you get in return. The love pride and satisfaction you get for loving and caring for another's life is beyond measure. You'll never be in debt for bringing yourself and what you can offer into a childs life. May not make sense until you've experienced it, but... Subjectively true nonetheless.
Posted by tizianiPosted by FactCheck
One thing I will say is though that single moms usually have their shit together. They're usually more responsible than most and they have stocked refrigerators.
That’s why it’s a fair deal. I got that from reading wrestlers autobiographies. They are on the road nearly 24/7.
But with a baby mother in every continent there’s always a warm house to come home to on the road.click to expand
Jesus! You've said some crazy shit but this one has to be up there on the list. I don't know if it's on the good list or bad list but it's definitely up there on one of them. Haha. I wanted to be shocked and laugh all at the same time.
I actually dating a guy who wanted the clothes my son had bagged up for Goodwill.
Posted by tizianiPosted by FactCheck
One thing I will say is though that single moms usually have their shit together. They're usually more responsible than most and they have stocked refrigerators.
That’s why it’s a fair deal. I got that from reading wrestlers autobiographies. They are on the road nearly 24/7.
But with a baby mother in every continent there’s always a warm house to come home to on the road.click to expand
You and Ands deserve an Oscar for your humour skills
😄😅
Posted by LittleStarPosted by VenusAquarius
I actually dating a guy who wanted the clothes my son has bagged up for Goodwill.
Wait... what?
He wore the same size as your son? 😂😂
I’m confused.click to expand
My son was 6 feet since 14.
Posted by PhoenixStormPosted by FactCheck
I knew this guy who raised two kids with his ex for like 8 years. They weren't his kids biologically. And he was the only one who worked and provided for them all. And when he lost his job, she left him for his cousin and wouldn't let the kids see him. And he had no rights because they weren't biologically his. Moral of the story is vet your hoes.
She was just a piece of shit in general. Women like this don’t know they are hurting the kids more than they are hurting the ex. Very sad.click to expand
To be fair.... There are Men who are just as guilty of doing the same thing.
What I really want to know is... And I mean if you strip it to its barest essential and forget all of your feelings and inclinations about what is happening... I'm talking at just its rawest form...
How did something so amazing is love turn into something so scary for some people?
I mean you hear all kinds of crazy things like "they're just trying to make me look bad" or "they don't really care about them they're just trying to get my attention" I'm over here like who the fuck uses love as a secret superpower? Lol
That's like someone asking "Why did you leave them?" and the response they were to receive being "Oh, they just loved to unconditionally."
Silliness
I wouldn’t involve our kid with other men. I’ve friends who brought Mr. one, two, three etc home to meet the children. It just left them confused and insecure when things end...
A therapist I met said “your love life has nothing to do with your children”
So true 👍
A therapist I met said “your love life has nothing to do with your children”
So true 👍
Posted by MyStarsShine
I wouldn’t involve our kid with other men. I’ve friends who brought Mr. one, two, three etc home to meet the children. It just left them confused and insecure when things ended...
A therapist I met said “your love life has nothing to do with your children”
So true 👍
Posted by PhoenixStormPosted by TheApparitionPosted by PhoenixStormPosted by FactCheck
I knew this guy who raised two kids with his ex for like 8 years. They weren't his kids biologically. And he was the only one who worked and provided for them all. And when he lost his job, she left him for his cousin and wouldn't let the kids see him. And he had no rights because they weren't biologically his. Moral of the story is vet your hoes.
She was just a piece of shit in general. Women like this don’t know they are hurting the kids more than they are hurting the ex. Very sad.
To be fair.... There are Men who are just as guilty of doing the same thing.
What I really want to know is... And I mean if you strip it to its barest essential and forget all of your feelings and inclinations about what is happening... I'm talking at just its rawest form...
How did something so amazing is love turn into something so scary for some people?
I mean you hear all kinds of crazy things like "they're just trying to make me look bad" or "they don't really care about them they're just trying to get my attention" I'm over here like who the fuck uses love as a secret superpower? Lol
That's like someone asking "Why did you leave them?" and the response they were to receive being "Oh, they just loved to unconditionally."
Silliness
Yeah both men and women are guilty of using kids as pawns. It breaks my heart. When my parents divorced my mom dragged me into it and whether she intended to or not, she kinda turned me against my dad for a while. Kids don’t need to be brought into it period.
I was with my sons dad for over 10 years and moved out after he cheated. I’m thankful that it hasn’t turned ugly and we still maintain a respect and love for each other instead of letting it turn vindictive and ugly like it has in so many relationships around me.
Also parents need to be more careful about who they take around their kids. A child should only be introduced to someone who will be a permanent figure in their life. Single moms need to stop taking random men around their kids, it hurts my heart when you see stories in the news of kids being beaten or molested by their moms “boyfriend”. It infuriates me and makes me sick to my stomach.
People these days are more careful about who has access to their phones and social media accounts than they are about who has access to their kids. Ass backwards 🤦🏼♀️click to expand
When his dad and I parted our kid said “if you and dad have a bf or gf I don’t want to know, it’s disgusting”😀. I totally understood this and we both honoured it. So many people don’t realise how quickly the time goes by and before you know it, they’ve become adults.
He’s 21 now and never saw me with another man but sadly saw his close friend’s mother with several, one of which she married and then discovered he’d another wife abroad. Her son is almost 22, has trust issues and still lives with Mum.
So much drama...
He’s 21 now and never saw me with another man but sadly saw his close friend’s mother with several, one of which she married and then discovered he’d another wife abroad. Her son is almost 22, has trust issues and still lives with Mum.
So much drama...
Posted by xy_sigh
I think you have to determine what you want in your life and the reason for your decisions.
Personally, I have too much pride to date a man who thinks I need a knight in my life when i've been a fighter throughout my journey. I don't like being undermined with my abilities and potential.
Very valid point.
As a man I totally accept that the male idiology for wanting to have this "protector role" is inadvertently creating the role of a protectee which otherwise wouldn't exist if that idea wasn't there to begin with...
BUT
At the same time can you honestly say that for one reason or another women have not also self assumed that role as to better position herself in a way that will be more prosperous in some capacity simply by knowing the man has that protect her role idea which they seek to fulfill?
That shit isn't a two-way street. It either is or it isn't. You don't want a knight, cool, but by choosing that you automatically forfeit any rights you otherwise would have had that came along with it. It's just the way it is, or I guess rather it's the way it should be but isn't. Haha
Posted by xy_sighPosted by TheApparitionPosted by xy_sigh
I think you have to determine what you want in your life and the reason for your decisions.
Personally, I have too much pride to date a man who thinks I need a knight in my life when i've been a fighter throughout my journey. I don't like being undermined with my abilities and potential.
Very valid point.
As a man I totally accept that the male idiology for wanting to have this "protector role" is inadvertently creating the role of a protectee which otherwise wouldn't exist if that idea wasn't there to begin with...
BUT
At the same time can you honestly say that for one reason or another women have not also self assumed that role as to better position herself in a way that will be more prosperous in some capacity simply by knowing the man has that protect her role idea which they seek to fulfill?
That shit isn't a two-way street. It either is or it isn't. You don't want a knight, cool, but by choosing that you automatically forfeit any rights you otherwise would have had that came along with it. It's just the way it is, or I guess rather it's the way it should be but isn't. Haha
There are heroes and then some who think they are.click to expand
I watched a video with a rather intriguing question once... A man stated the following...
"Why do men always want to protect women? What is it we're even protecting women from? Aren't men just protecting women from other men? Maybe women don't need protecting and men just need changing"
That's a hard pill to swallow for any man but that logic is hard to argue, no?
Posted by Jade_Alexander
I don’t view it as protecting as much ad a partner... we are mutually protecting our children.
What are you (both) protecting them from? I have a suspicion you mean preparing and/or defending your children, but just in case I'm wrong I thought I would ask.
What about this scenario... You and your partner are sleeping in bed, your child in the other room, you hear somebody kick in your front door. Would you run down to confront the intruder while your husband gets the child to safety? I'm not trying to be a smart-ass. I'm just saying realistically can you see things happening with that way? 99% of the people are going to say no that's not how the social normatives operate but that brings us right back to the fact that the men are also in a protection role of their partner not just their child.
Posted by tizianiPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_Alexander
I don’t view it as protecting as much ad a partner... we are mutually protecting our children.
What are you (both) protecting them from? I have a suspicion you mean preparing and/or defending your children, but just in case I'm wrong I thought I would ask.
What about this scenario... You and your partner are sleeping in bed, your child in the other room, you hear somebody kick in your front door. Would you run down to confront the intruder while your husband gets the child to safety? I'm not trying to be a smart-ass. I'm just saying realistically can you see things happening with that way? 99% of the people are going to say no that's not how the social normatives operate but that brings us right back to the fact that the men are also in a protection role of their partner not just their child.
That's the classic scenario.
But it's not just men who would choose to save their partner first. I've known women who would too. It's a case of different values more than gender.click to expand
It is, absolutely. it has nothing to do with the gender and everything to do with our way of thinking. The only way to change that though it is either adopt the thought or join efforts to abolish it. As it stands we just accept it or complain about it but do little to alter and as time progresses more and more that's reaching the point to where it's going to have to be addressed is all.
It will be harder to find women with out kids, the older you get. Or as you age, if a women doesn’t have any, she could be sterile. That’s a risk you would be taking as well.
I come across so many single Virgo men that don’t have kids. They are freedom and career driven and I think most women they date know this. I’ve asked both Virgos that I date about not having kids and they said the women aborted them.
So I think you Virgos put on a good cloak of not wanting the responsibility of kids, which is your right to do if that’s something you don’t want.
As far as dating someone with a kid/kids as a “lifetime” commitment. I guess it’s good that you would be thinking long term, but in that long term process, she would most likely have your child as well. So would it really make much of a difference in the end? The age of the previous kids would also count. Smaller children would need to be taken care of more then older children.
Plenty of people have kids and aren’t rich. Teenagers do it all the time. It’s definitely harder as an adult with a career, to have children because of childcare costs for small kids, and how that affects both people in the relationship.
It’s good that you know what you want and don’t want. It’s your right and your choice. Some men care and others don’t. But you still have to make a decision that’s right for you.
I come across so many single Virgo men that don’t have kids. They are freedom and career driven and I think most women they date know this. I’ve asked both Virgos that I date about not having kids and they said the women aborted them.
So I think you Virgos put on a good cloak of not wanting the responsibility of kids, which is your right to do if that’s something you don’t want.
As far as dating someone with a kid/kids as a “lifetime” commitment. I guess it’s good that you would be thinking long term, but in that long term process, she would most likely have your child as well. So would it really make much of a difference in the end? The age of the previous kids would also count. Smaller children would need to be taken care of more then older children.
Plenty of people have kids and aren’t rich. Teenagers do it all the time. It’s definitely harder as an adult with a career, to have children because of childcare costs for small kids, and how that affects both people in the relationship.
It’s good that you know what you want and don’t want. It’s your right and your choice. Some men care and others don’t. But you still have to make a decision that’s right for you.
Posted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_Alexander
I don’t view it as protecting as much ad a partner... we are mutually protecting our children.
What are you (both) protecting them from? I have a suspicion you mean preparing and/or defending your children, but just in case I'm wrong I thought I would ask.
What about this scenario... You and your partner are sleeping in bed, your child in the other room, you hear somebody kick in your front door. Would you run down to confront the intruder while your husband gets the child to safety? I'm not trying to be a smart-ass. I'm just saying realistically can you see things happening with that way? 99% of the people are going to say no that's not how the social normatives operate but that brings us right back to the fact that the men are also in a protection role of their partner not just their child.
Since he has more experience with weapons he would handle the intruder.
With my Ex, I chased away multiple thieves from out yard while he slept.
Men are physically stronger... I personally dont feel I’m weak for allowing my partner to protect me. If I’m pregnant or an infant in hand I’m naturally more vulnerable.click to expand
You are making the decision based off of logic and not from the standpoint of capability. Yes, everything about the situation is more logical if it were handled that way; however, history and behavioral studies have proven that a mother protecting their child it's vastly more empowered than they are inhibited when faced with adversity, so I think perhaps the only thing making you vulnerable is your perception created from your logic?
Posted by tizianiPosted by TheApparitionPosted by tizianiPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_Alexander
I don’t view it as protecting as much ad a partner... we are mutually protecting our children.
What are you (both) protecting them from? I have a suspicion you mean preparing and/or defending your children, but just in case I'm wrong I thought I would ask.
What about this scenario... You and your partner are sleeping in bed, your child in the other room, you hear somebody kick in your front door. Would you run down to confront the intruder while your husband gets the child to safety? I'm not trying to be a smart-ass. I'm just saying realistically can you see things happening with that way? 99% of the people are going to say no that's not how the social normatives operate but that brings us right back to the fact that the men are also in a protection role of their partner not just their child.
That's the classic scenario.
But it's not just men who would choose to save their partner first. I've known women who would too. It's a case of different values more than gender.
It is, absolutely. it has nothing to do with the gender and everything to do with our way of thinking. The only way to change that though it is either adopt the thought or join efforts to abolish it. As it stands we just accept it or complain about it but do little to alter and as time progresses more and more that's reaching the point to where it's going to have to be addressed is all.
What do you mean by alter it?
I get where you and xy are coming from but imo the solution is just to get with a partner who shares the same values. I don't think it's something that's going to be a societal shift if that's what we're talking about.click to expand
Do you know how many women's empowering movements there are, and have been in recent years, solely for the purpose of creating equal footing on all levels of culture? You may not think it's going to be a societal shift but current society is proving otherwise, lol.
I just think it's like a lot of other problems... Everybody wants to talk about the problem, whose fault it is, where it began, why its still here, why change is important, and even their feelings on it... but nobody wants to discuss a solution.
For whatever reason people can't just leave all the drama and bulshit at the door and say "okay yes there's this problem we know there's a problem doesn't matter why there's this problem but we can all agree that we need to fix the problem so let's just do that"
Hell I don't care if women want to be horses and men want to be Panthers now, but at least let's try to get on the same page in the process is all i ask haha
Posted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_Alexander
I don’t view it as protecting as much ad a partner... we are mutually protecting our children.
What are you (both) protecting them from? I have a suspicion you mean preparing and/or defending your children, but just in case I'm wrong I thought I would ask.
What about this scenario... You and your partner are sleeping in bed, your child in the other room, you hear somebody kick in your front door. Would you run down to confront the intruder while your husband gets the child to safety? I'm not trying to be a smart-ass. I'm just saying realistically can you see things happening with that way? 99% of the people are going to say no that's not how the social normatives operate but that brings us right back to the fact that the men are also in a protection role of their partner not just their child.
Since he has more experience with weapons he would handle the intruder.
With my Ex, I chased away multiple thieves from out yard while he slept.
Men are physically stronger... I personally dont feel I’m weak for allowing my partner to protect me. If I’m pregnant or an infant in hand I’m naturally more vulnerable.
You are making the decision based off of logic and not from the standpoint of capability. Yes, everything about the situation is more logical if it were handled that way; however, history and behavioral studies have proven that a mother protecting their child it's vastly more empowered than they are inhibited when faced with adversity, so I think perhaps the only thing making you vulnerable is your perception created from your logic?
Honestly this subject kinda bores me. Ive been home alone with small children for months. I felt comfortable protecting myself and them. I’ve chased people away on foot and in my car. I’ve had firearms ready to go. I was totally self sufficient.
But I would prefer a partner who would rather risk himself while I attend to the kids. And as someone who was almost attacked while pregnant, I felt terrified for myself and the baby. I couldn’t fight back.
Realistically tho, if an intruder comes in with the intent to kill it doesn’t matter anyways. They will probably succeed...click to expand
I have an idea... Change your home Wi-Fi name to "FBI Surveillance Van" and just make your router do all the protecting, hahaha . Criminals are going to see that name and say "Umm, not this area" 😜
Posted by tizianiPosted by TheApparitionPosted by tizianiPosted by TheApparitionPosted by tizianiPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_Alexander
I don’t view it as protecting as much ad a partner... we are mutually protecting our children.
What are you (both) protecting them from? I have a suspicion you mean preparing and/or defending your children, but just in case I'm wrong I thought I would ask.
What about this scenario... You and your partner are sleeping in bed, your child in the other room, you hear somebody kick in your front door. Would you run down to confront the intruder while your husband gets the child to safety? I'm not trying to be a smart-ass. I'm just saying realistically can you see things happening with that way? 99% of the people are going to say no that's not how the social normatives operate but that brings us right back to the fact that the men are also in a protection role of their partner not just their child.
That's the classic scenario.
But it's not just men who would choose to save their partner first. I've known women who would too. It's a case of different values more than gender.
It is, absolutely. it has nothing to do with the gender and everything to do with our way of thinking. The only way to change that though it is either adopt the thought or join efforts to abolish it. As it stands we just accept it or complain about it but do little to alter and as time progresses more and more that's reaching the point to where it's going to have to be addressed is all.
What do you mean by alter it?
I get where you and xy are coming from but imo the solution is just to get with a partner who shares the same values. I don't think it's something that's going to be a societal shift if that's what we're talking about.
Do you know how many women's empowering movements there are, and have been in recent years, solely for the purpose of creating equal footing on all levels of culture? You may not think it's going to be a societal shift but current society is proving otherwise, lol.
I just think it's like a lot of other problems... Everybody wants to talk about the problem, whose fault it is, where it began, why its still here, why change is important, and even their feelings on it... but nobody wants to discuss a solution.
For whatever reason people can't just leave all the drama and bulshit at the door and say "okay yes there's this problem we know there's a problem doesn't matter why there's this problem but we can all agree that we need to fix the problem so let's just do that"
Hell I don't care if women want to be horses and men want to be Panthers now, but at least let's try to get on the same page in the process is all i ask haha
I don't get it.
What's wrong with picking a woman who shares the same value of putting her partner first above all, as a solution?
That's the answer for me. Those women are out there and have always existed for a long time. They may be asking for equality too. They can do both.click to expand
You realize our discourse is that of the exact same point, right? Haha
I agree with most all of everything you have expressed. I was simply pointing out the hurdles that exist which prevent your very simple question from having a very simple a tensor for no simple reason.
And saying it that way sounds stupid but here we are. we're trying to get from A to C and apparently B is pissed off somewhere along the way making shit difficult, haha
Posted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_Alexander
I don’t view it as protecting as much ad a partner... we are mutually protecting our children.
What are you (both) protecting them from? I have a suspicion you mean preparing and/or defending your children, but just in case I'm wrong I thought I would ask.
What about this scenario... You and your partner are sleeping in bed, your child in the other room, you hear somebody kick in your front door. Would you run down to confront the intruder while your husband gets the child to safety? I'm not trying to be a smart-ass. I'm just saying realistically can you see things happening with that way? 99% of the people are going to say no that's not how the social normatives operate but that brings us right back to the fact that the men are also in a protection role of their partner not just their child.
Since he has more experience with weapons he would handle the intruder.
With my Ex, I chased away multiple thieves from out yard while he slept.
Men are physically stronger... I personally dont feel I’m weak for allowing my partner to protect me. If I’m pregnant or an infant in hand I’m naturally more vulnerable.
You are making the decision based off of logic and not from the standpoint of capability. Yes, everything about the situation is more logical if it were handled that way; however, history and behavioral studies have proven that a mother protecting their child it's vastly more empowered than they are inhibited when faced with adversity, so I think perhaps the only thing making you vulnerable is your perception created from your logic?
Honestly this subject kinda bores me. Ive been home alone with small children for months. I felt comfortable protecting myself and them. I’ve chased people away on foot and in my car. I’ve had firearms ready to go. I was totally self sufficient.
But I would prefer a partner who would rather risk himself while I attend to the kids. And as someone who was almost attacked while pregnant, I felt terrified for myself and the baby. I couldn’t fight back.
Realistically tho, if an intruder comes in with the intent to kill it doesn’t matter anyways. They will probably succeed...
I have an idea... Change your home Wi-Fi name to "FBI Surveillance Van" and just make your router do all the protecting, hahaha . Criminals are going to see that name and say "Umm, not this area" 😜
It happens... the last guy who broke into my vehicle ran like a little bitch and probably peed himself...
Women are at highest risk of being murdered while pregnant. Typically the father is the offender. And I have been abused while pregnant by my ex.
I really want someone who us completely opposite. Will physically protect me, not violate me. Someone who is naturally compelled to defend his family.
That doesn’t make me weak. Men who abuse women are weak. It’s wanting someone who genuinely gives a shit.click to expand
Aha! You don't want a protector at all. You want someone that's not a shity human being and to be around people that aren't shity human beings to where you don't even need to live in a world where a protector is needed one way or another.
I think that's really the answer anyway. We don't need stronger more protective people we need better quality humans instead, lol
Posted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_Alexander
I don’t view it as protecting as much ad a partner... we are mutually protecting our children.
What are you (both) protecting them from? I have a suspicion you mean preparing and/or defending your children, but just in case I'm wrong I thought I would ask.
What about this scenario... You and your partner are sleeping in bed, your child in the other room, you hear somebody kick in your front door. Would you run down to confront the intruder while your husband gets the child to safety? I'm not trying to be a smart-ass. I'm just saying realistically can you see things happening with that way? 99% of the people are going to say no that's not how the social normatives operate but that brings us right back to the fact that the men are also in a protection role of their partner not just their child.
Since he has more experience with weapons he would handle the intruder.
With my Ex, I chased away multiple thieves from out yard while he slept.
Men are physically stronger... I personally dont feel I’m weak for allowing my partner to protect me. If I’m pregnant or an infant in hand I’m naturally more vulnerable.
You are making the decision based off of logic and not from the standpoint of capability. Yes, everything about the situation is more logical if it were handled that way; however, history and behavioral studies have proven that a mother protecting their child it's vastly more empowered than they are inhibited when faced with adversity, so I think perhaps the only thing making you vulnerable is your perception created from your logic?
Honestly this subject kinda bores me. Ive been home alone with small children for months. I felt comfortable protecting myself and them. I’ve chased people away on foot and in my car. I’ve had firearms ready to go. I was totally self sufficient.
But I would prefer a partner who would rather risk himself while I attend to the kids. And as someone who was almost attacked while pregnant, I felt terrified for myself and the baby. I couldn’t fight back.
Realistically tho, if an intruder comes in with the intent to kill it doesn’t matter anyways. They will probably succeed...
I have an idea... Change your home Wi-Fi name to "FBI Surveillance Van" and just make your router do all the protecting, hahaha . Criminals are going to see that name and say "Umm, not this area" 😜
It happens... the last guy who broke into my vehicle ran like a little bitch and probably peed himself...
Women are at highest risk of being murdered while pregnant. Typically the father is the offender. And I have been abused while pregnant by my ex.
I really want someone who us completely opposite. Will physically protect me, not violate me. Someone who is naturally compelled to defend his family.
That doesn’t make me weak. Men who abuse women are weak. It’s wanting someone who genuinely gives a shit.
Aha! You don't want a protector at all. You want someone that's not a shity human being and to be around people that aren't shity human beings to wear you don't even need to live in a world traer protector is needed one way or another.
I think that's really the answer anyway. We don't need stronger more protective people we need better quality humans instead, lol
That will never happen, humans have always been vile.
I do believe men naturally feel the need to protect their loved ones. Thats okay.click to expand
I'm not super protective tbh, lol. I'm the guy that yells at the TV screen during horror movies saying "That's what you get for being stupid" haha. My self preservation drive is much greater than that of my natural protection drive of others.
for example in the scenarios we were talking about earlier in my mind when somebody kicks down the door we both go grab the child and get to safety and neither of us confronts the damn intruder because that's retarded and that's how people die, lol. I just said it the other way to make a point that's all. Hahaha
Posted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_Alexander
I don’t view it as protecting as much ad a partner... we are mutually protecting our children.
What are you (both) protecting them from? I have a suspicion you mean preparing and/or defending your children, but just in case I'm wrong I thought I would ask.
What about this scenario... You and your partner are sleeping in bed, your child in the other room, you hear somebody kick in your front door. Would you run down to confront the intruder while your husband gets the child to safety? I'm not trying to be a smart-ass. I'm just saying realistically can you see things happening with that way? 99% of the people are going to say no that's not how the social normatives operate but that brings us right back to the fact that the men are also in a protection role of their partner not just their child.
Since he has more experience with weapons he would handle the intruder.
With my Ex, I chased away multiple thieves from out yard while he slept.
Men are physically stronger... I personally dont feel I’m weak for allowing my partner to protect me. If I’m pregnant or an infant in hand I’m naturally more vulnerable.
You are making the decision based off of logic and not from the standpoint of capability. Yes, everything about the situation is more logical if it were handled that way; however, history and behavioral studies have proven that a mother protecting their child it's vastly more empowered than they are inhibited when faced with adversity, so I think perhaps the only thing making you vulnerable is your perception created from your logic?
Honestly this subject kinda bores me. Ive been home alone with small children for months. I felt comfortable protecting myself and them. I’ve chased people away on foot and in my car. I’ve had firearms ready to go. I was totally self sufficient.
But I would prefer a partner who would rather risk himself while I attend to the kids. And as someone who was almost attacked while pregnant, I felt terrified for myself and the baby. I couldn’t fight back.
Realistically tho, if an intruder comes in with the intent to kill it doesn’t matter anyways. They will probably succeed...
I have an idea... Change your home Wi-Fi name to "FBI Surveillance Van" and just make your router do all the protecting, hahaha . Criminals are going to see that name and say "Umm, not this area" 😜
It happens... the last guy who broke into my vehicle ran like a little bitch and probably peed himself...
Women are at highest risk of being murdered while pregnant. Typically the father is the offender. And I have been abused while pregnant by my ex.
I really want someone who us completely opposite. Will physically protect me, not violate me. Someone who is naturally compelled to defend his family.
That doesn’t make me weak. Men who abuse women are weak. It’s wanting someone who genuinely gives a shit.
Aha! You don't want a protector at all. You want someone that's not a shity human being and to be around people that aren't shity human beings to wear you don't even need to live in a world traer protector is needed one way or another.
I think that's really the answer anyway. We don't need stronger more protective people we need better quality humans instead, lol
That will never happen, humans have always been vile.
I do believe men naturally feel the need to protect their loved ones. Thats okay.
I'm not super protective tbh, lol. I'm the guy that yells at the TV screen during horror movies saying "That's what you get for being stupid" haha. My self preservation drive is much greater than that of my natural protection drive of others.
for example in the scenarios we were talking about earlier in my mind when somebody kicks down the door we both go grab the child and get to safety and neither of us confronts the damn intruder because that's retarded and that's how people die, lol. I just said it the other way to make a point that's all. Hahaha
Its fight or flight
Neither is wrongclick to expand
Not true... The flight response occurs before any conscious thought takes place in the mind. The fight response only happens when the flight response is consciously overridden.
It makes me think of all the women who murder their children cause the new boyfriend doesn't like them
Posted by SagInTheSun898
It makes me think of all the women who murder their children cause the new boyfriend doesn't like them
Evil people 😬
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by SagInTheSun898
It makes me think of all the women who murder their children cause the new boyfriend doesn't like them
Evil people 😬click to expand
It happens
Posted by PhantumPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_Alexander
I don’t view it as protecting as much ad a partner... we are mutually protecting our children.
What are you (both) protecting them from? I have a suspicion you mean preparing and/or defending your children, but just in case I'm wrong I thought I would ask.
What about this scenario... You and your partner are sleeping in bed, your child in the other room, you hear somebody kick in your front door. Would you run down to confront the intruder while your husband gets the child to safety? I'm not trying to be a smart-ass. I'm just saying realistically can you see things happening with that way? 99% of the people are going to say no that's not how the social normatives operate but that brings us right back to the fact that the men are also in a protection role of their partner not just their child.
Since he has more experience with weapons he would handle the intruder.
With my Ex, I chased away multiple thieves from out yard while he slept.
Men are physically stronger... I personally dont feel I’m weak for allowing my partner to protect me. If I’m pregnant or an infant in hand I’m naturally more vulnerable.
You are making the decision based off of logic and not from the standpoint of capability. Yes, everything about the situation is more logical if it were handled that way; however, history and behavioral studies have proven that a mother protecting their child it's vastly more empowered than they are inhibited when faced with adversity, so I think perhaps the only thing making you vulnerable is your perception created from your logic?
Honestly this subject kinda bores me. Ive been home alone with small children for months. I felt comfortable protecting myself and them. I’ve chased people away on foot and in my car. I’ve had firearms ready to go. I was totally self sufficient.
But I would prefer a partner who would rather risk himself while I attend to the kids. And as someone who was almost attacked while pregnant, I felt terrified for myself and the baby. I couldn’t fight back.
Realistically tho, if an intruder comes in with the intent to kill it doesn’t matter anyways. They will probably succeed...
I have an idea... Change your home Wi-Fi name to "FBI Surveillance Van" and just make your router do all the protecting, hahaha . Criminals are going to see that name and say "Umm, not this area" 😜
It happens... the last guy who broke into my vehicle ran like a little bitch and probably peed himself...
Women are at highest risk of being murdered while pregnant. Typically the father is the offender. And I have been abused while pregnant by my ex.
I really want someone who us completely opposite. Will physically protect me, not violate me. Someone who is naturally compelled to defend his family.
That doesn’t make me weak. Men who abuse women are weak. It’s wanting someone who genuinely gives a shit.
Aha! You don't want a protector at all. You want someone that's not a shity human being and to be around people that aren't shity human beings to wear you don't even need to live in a world traer protector is needed one way or another.
I think that's really the answer anyway. We don't need stronger more protective people we need better quality humans instead, lol
That will never happen, humans have always been vile.
I do believe men naturally feel the need to protect their loved ones. Thats okay.
I'm not super protective tbh, lol. I'm the guy that yells at the TV screen during horror movies saying "That's what you get for being stupid" haha. My self preservation drive is much greater than that of my natural protection drive of others.
for example in the scenarios we were talking about earlier in my mind when somebody kicks down the door we both go grab the child and get to safety and neither of us confronts the damn intruder because that's retarded and that's how people die, lol. I just said it the other way to make a point that's all. Hahaha
Its fight or flight
Neither is wrong
Not true... The flight response occurs before any conscious thought takes place in the mind. The fight response only happens when the flight response is consciously overridden.
Where did you get that idea? I've always read (and experienced) that both are automatic or near automatic, not requiring conscious thought. Recently, "freeze" has been added to the automatic choices, from observation of certain animals and women.click to expand
I'll PM you some white paper links.
Posted by PhantumPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_Alexander
I don’t view it as protecting as much ad a partner... we are mutually protecting our children.
What are you (both) protecting them from? I have a suspicion you mean preparing and/or defending your children, but just in case I'm wrong I thought I would ask.
What about this scenario... You and your partner are sleeping in bed, your child in the other room, you hear somebody kick in your front door. Would you run down to confront the intruder while your husband gets the child to safety? I'm not trying to be a smart-ass. I'm just saying realistically can you see things happening with that way? 99% of the people are going to say no that's not how the social normatives operate but that brings us right back to the fact that the men are also in a protection role of their partner not just their child.
Since he has more experience with weapons he would handle the intruder.
With my Ex, I chased away multiple thieves from out yard while he slept.
Men are physically stronger... I personally dont feel I’m weak for allowing my partner to protect me. If I’m pregnant or an infant in hand I’m naturally more vulnerable.
You are making the decision based off of logic and not from the standpoint of capability. Yes, everything about the situation is more logical if it were handled that way; however, history and behavioral studies have proven that a mother protecting their child it's vastly more empowered than they are inhibited when faced with adversity, so I think perhaps the only thing making you vulnerable is your perception created from your logic?
Honestly this subject kinda bores me. Ive been home alone with small children for months. I felt comfortable protecting myself and them. I’ve chased people away on foot and in my car. I’ve had firearms ready to go. I was totally self sufficient.
But I would prefer a partner who would rather risk himself while I attend to the kids. And as someone who was almost attacked while pregnant, I felt terrified for myself and the baby. I couldn’t fight back.
Realistically tho, if an intruder comes in with the intent to kill it doesn’t matter anyways. They will probably succeed...
I have an idea... Change your home Wi-Fi name to "FBI Surveillance Van" and just make your router do all the protecting, hahaha . Criminals are going to see that name and say "Umm, not this area" 😜
It happens... the last guy who broke into my vehicle ran like a little bitch and probably peed himself...
Women are at highest risk of being murdered while pregnant. Typically the father is the offender. And I have been abused while pregnant by my ex.
I really want someone who us completely opposite. Will physically protect me, not violate me. Someone who is naturally compelled to defend his family.
That doesn’t make me weak. Men who abuse women are weak. It’s wanting someone who genuinely gives a shit.
Aha! You don't want a protector at all. You want someone that's not a shity human being and to be around people that aren't shity human beings to wear you don't even need to live in a world traer protector is needed one way or another.
I think that's really the answer anyway. We don't need stronger more protective people we need better quality humans instead, lol
That will never happen, humans have always been vile.
I do believe men naturally feel the need to protect their loved ones. Thats okay.
I'm not super protective tbh, lol. I'm the guy that yells at the TV screen during horror movies saying "That's what you get for being stupid" haha. My self preservation drive is much greater than that of my natural protection drive of others.
for example in the scenarios we were talking about earlier in my mind when somebody kicks down the door we both go grab the child and get to safety and neither of us confronts the damn intruder because that's retarded and that's how people die, lol. I just said it the other way to make a point that's all. Hahaha
Its fight or flight
Neither is wrong
Not true... The flight response occurs before any conscious thought takes place in the mind. The fight response only happens when the flight response is consciously overridden.
Where did you get that idea? I've always read (and experienced) that both are automatic or near automatic, not requiring conscious thought. Recently, "freeze" has been added to the automatic choices, from observation of certain animals and women.click to expand
I guess I'll give you the short version because it doesn't seem you have direct messaging on, haha. The way this happens is because our fight-or-flight as I'm sure you know is dictated by our amygdala; however, because of the way memories are stored throughout different areas of the brain they first have to be cross-referenced before the fight response can be deemed unacceptable risk to ones overall well-being whereas the flight response does not require any validation to be the overall best case scenario if you will so the brain defaults to that decision before conscious thought needs to take place.
Posted by SlipperySlopePosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_Alexander
I don’t view it as protecting as much ad a partner... we are mutually protecting our children.
What are you (both) protecting them from? I have a suspicion you mean preparing and/or defending your children, but just in case I'm wrong I thought I would ask.
What about this scenario... You and your partner are sleeping in bed, your child in the other room, you hear somebody kick in your front door. Would you run down to confront the intruder while your husband gets the child to safety? I'm not trying to be a smart-ass. I'm just saying realistically can you see things happening with that way? 99% of the people are going to say no that's not how the social normatives operate but that brings us right back to the fact that the men are also in a protection role of their partner not just their child.
Since he has more experience with weapons he would handle the intruder.
With my Ex, I chased away multiple thieves from out yard while he slept.
Men are physically stronger... I personally dont feel I’m weak for allowing my partner to protect me. If I’m pregnant or an infant in hand I’m naturally more vulnerable.
You are making the decision based off of logic and not from the standpoint of capability. Yes, everything about the situation is more logical if it were handled that way; however, history and behavioral studies have proven that a mother protecting their child it's vastly more empowered than they are inhibited when faced with adversity, so I think perhaps the only thing making you vulnerable is your perception created from your logic?
Honestly this subject kinda bores me. Ive been home alone with small children for months. I felt comfortable protecting myself and them. I’ve chased people away on foot and in my car. I’ve had firearms ready to go. I was totally self sufficient.
But I would prefer a partner who would rather risk himself while I attend to the kids. And as someone who was almost attacked while pregnant, I felt terrified for myself and the baby. I couldn’t fight back.
Realistically tho, if an intruder comes in with the intent to kill it doesn’t matter anyways. They will probably succeed...
I have an idea... Change your home Wi-Fi name to "FBI Surveillance Van" and just make your router do all the protecting, hahaha . Criminals are going to see that name and say "Umm, not this area" 😜
It happens... the last guy who broke into my vehicle ran like a little bitch and probably peed himself...
Women are at highest risk of being murdered while pregnant. Typically the father is the offender. And I have been abused while pregnant by my ex.
I really want someone who us completely opposite. Will physically protect me, not violate me. Someone who is naturally compelled to defend his family.
That doesn’t make me weak. Men who abuse women are weak. It’s wanting someone who genuinely gives a shit.
Aha! You don't want a protector at all. You want someone that's not a shity human being and to be around people that aren't shity human beings to where you don't even need to live in a world where a protector is needed one way or another.
I think that's really the answer anyway. We don't need stronger more protective people we need better quality humans instead, lol
That's some fairy tale shit that ain't gonna happen.click to expand
You're not the author of my fairy tale! I do what I want, lol. you just go off in your little corner and go ahead and write your Grimm story all by yourself. 😜
Posted by PhantumPosted by TheApparitionPosted by PhantumPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_Alexander
I don’t view it as protecting as much ad a partner... we are mutually protecting our children.
What are you (both) protecting them from? I have a suspicion you mean preparing and/or defending your children, but just in case I'm wrong I thought I would ask.
What about this scenario... You and your partner are sleeping in bed, your child in the other room, you hear somebody kick in your front door. Would you run down to confront the intruder while your husband gets the child to safety? I'm not trying to be a smart-ass. I'm just saying realistically can you see things happening with that way? 99% of the people are going to say no that's not how the social normatives operate but that brings us right back to the fact that the men are also in a protection role of their partner not just their child.
Since he has more experience with weapons he would handle the intruder.
With my Ex, I chased away multiple thieves from out yard while he slept.
Men are physically stronger... I personally dont feel I’m weak for allowing my partner to protect me. If I’m pregnant or an infant in hand I’m naturally more vulnerable.
You are making the decision based off of logic and not from the standpoint of capability. Yes, everything about the situation is more logical if it were handled that way; however, history and behavioral studies have proven that a mother protecting their child it's vastly more empowered than they are inhibited when faced with adversity, so I think perhaps the only thing making you vulnerable is your perception created from your logic?
Honestly this subject kinda bores me. Ive been home alone with small children for months. I felt comfortable protecting myself and them. I’ve chased people away on foot and in my car. I’ve had firearms ready to go. I was totally self sufficient.
But I would prefer a partner who would rather risk himself while I attend to the kids. And as someone who was almost attacked while pregnant, I felt terrified for myself and the baby. I couldn’t fight back.
Realistically tho, if an intruder comes in with the intent to kill it doesn’t matter anyways. They will probably succeed...
I have an idea... Change your home Wi-Fi name to "FBI Surveillance Van" and just make your router do all the protecting, hahaha . Criminals are going to see that name and say "Umm, not this area" 😜
It happens... the last guy who broke into my vehicle ran like a little bitch and probably peed himself...
Women are at highest risk of being murdered while pregnant. Typically the father is the offender. And I have been abused while pregnant by my ex.
I really want someone who us completely opposite. Will physically protect me, not violate me. Someone who is naturally compelled to defend his family.
That doesn’t make me weak. Men who abuse women are weak. It’s wanting someone who genuinely gives a shit.
Aha! You don't want a protector at all. You want someone that's not a shity human being and to be around people that aren't shity human beings to wear you don't even need to live in a world traer protector is needed one way or another.
I think that's really the answer anyway. We don't need stronger more protective people we need better quality humans instead, lol
That will never happen, humans have always been vile.
I do believe men naturally feel the need to protect their loved ones. Thats okay.
I'm not super protective tbh, lol. I'm the guy that yells at the TV screen during horror movies saying "That's what you get for being stupid" haha. My self preservation drive is much greater than that of my natural protection drive of others.
for example in the scenarios we were talking about earlier in my mind when somebody kicks down the door we both go grab the child and get to safety and neither of us confronts the damn intruder because that's retarded and that's how people die, lol. I just said it the other way to make a point that's all. Hahaha
Its fight or flight
Neither is wrong
Not true... The flight response occurs before any conscious thought takes place in the mind. The fight response only happens when the flight response is consciously overridden.
Where did you get that idea? I've always read (and experienced) that both are automatic or near automatic, not requiring conscious thought. Recently, "freeze" has been added to the automatic choices, from observation of certain animals and women.
I guess I'll give you the short version because it doesn't seem you have direct messaging on, haha. The way this happens is because our fight-or-flight as I'm sure you know is dictated by our amygdala; however, because of the way memories are stored throughout different areas of the brain they first have to be cross-referenced before the fight response can be deemed unacceptable risk to ones overall well-being whereas the flight response does not require any validation to be the overall best case scenario if you will so the brain defaults to that decision before conscious thought needs to take place.
Hehehe, thwarted.
If that is the case, if someone defaults to "fight" does that mean they've been programmed to do so by their environment? Or are they making a fraction-of-a-second decision that "fight" is the better response?click to expand
That's actually dual sided... One is people not allowing themselves to properly experience their negative emotions, because whenever you suppress them your system cannot correctly assigned them a classification to their true level of impact. The second is ironically caused by our addiction to wanting to do good things for the dopamine response. Behavioral research suggests that humans willingly interact with strangers in ways that are beneficial to others, even when it is not in their own best interest simply because your brain overrides the fight or flight response seeking the reward response instead. I can link you a really interesting article on that if you want but that's up to you.
Posted by SlipperySlopePosted by TheApparitionPosted by SlipperySlopePosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_Alexander
I don’t view it as protecting as much ad a partner... we are mutually protecting our children.
What are you (both) protecting them from? I have a suspicion you mean preparing and/or defending your children, but just in case I'm wrong I thought I would ask.
What about this scenario... You and your partner are sleeping in bed, your child in the other room, you hear somebody kick in your front door. Would you run down to confront the intruder while your husband gets the child to safety? I'm not trying to be a smart-ass. I'm just saying realistically can you see things happening with that way? 99% of the people are going to say no that's not how the social normatives operate but that brings us right back to the fact that the men are also in a protection role of their partner not just their child.
Since he has more experience with weapons he would handle the intruder.
With my Ex, I chased away multiple thieves from out yard while he slept.
Men are physically stronger... I personally dont feel I’m weak for allowing my partner to protect me. If I’m pregnant or an infant in hand I’m naturally more vulnerable.
You are making the decision based off of logic and not from the standpoint of capability. Yes, everything about the situation is more logical if it were handled that way; however, history and behavioral studies have proven that a mother protecting their child it's vastly more empowered than they are inhibited when faced with adversity, so I think perhaps the only thing making you vulnerable is your perception created from your logic?
Honestly this subject kinda bores me. Ive been home alone with small children for months. I felt comfortable protecting myself and them. I’ve chased people away on foot and in my car. I’ve had firearms ready to go. I was totally self sufficient.
But I would prefer a partner who would rather risk himself while I attend to the kids. And as someone who was almost attacked while pregnant, I felt terrified for myself and the baby. I couldn’t fight back.
Realistically tho, if an intruder comes in with the intent to kill it doesn’t matter anyways. They will probably succeed...
I have an idea... Change your home Wi-Fi name to "FBI Surveillance Van" and just make your router do all the protecting, hahaha . Criminals are going to see that name and say "Umm, not this area" 😜
It happens... the last guy who broke into my vehicle ran like a little bitch and probably peed himself...
Women are at highest risk of being murdered while pregnant. Typically the father is the offender. And I have been abused while pregnant by my ex.
I really want someone who us completely opposite. Will physically protect me, not violate me. Someone who is naturally compelled to defend his family.
That doesn’t make me weak. Men who abuse women are weak. It’s wanting someone who genuinely gives a shit.
Aha! You don't want a protector at all. You want someone that's not a shity human being and to be around people that aren't shity human beings to where you don't even need to live in a world where a protector is needed one way or another.
I think that's really the answer anyway. We don't need stronger more protective people we need better quality humans instead, lol
That's some fairy tale shit that ain't gonna happen.
You're not the author of my fairy tale! I do what I want, lol. you just go off in your little corner and go ahead and write your Grimm story all by yourself. 😜
It ain't gonna happen dude, women are better off to be prepared to deal with bad bastards than live in some fantasy that all men are suddenly going to improve. We aren't.click to expand
Posted by SlipperySlopePosted by TheApparitionPosted by SlipperySlopePosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_Alexander
I don’t view it as protecting as much ad a partner... we are mutually protecting our children.
What are you (both) protecting them from? I have a suspicion you mean preparing and/or defending your children, but just in case I'm wrong I thought I would ask.
What about this scenario... You and your partner are sleeping in bed, your child in the other room, you hear somebody kick in your front door. Would you run down to confront the intruder while your husband gets the child to safety? I'm not trying to be a smart-ass. I'm just saying realistically can you see things happening with that way? 99% of the people are going to say no that's not how the social normatives operate but that brings us right back to the fact that the men are also in a protection role of their partner not just their child.
Since he has more experience with weapons he would handle the intruder.
With my Ex, I chased away multiple thieves from out yard while he slept.
Men are physically stronger... I personally dont feel I’m weak for allowing my partner to protect me. If I’m pregnant or an infant in hand I’m naturally more vulnerable.
You are making the decision based off of logic and not from the standpoint of capability. Yes, everything about the situation is more logical if it were handled that way; however, history and behavioral studies have proven that a mother protecting their child it's vastly more empowered than they are inhibited when faced with adversity, so I think perhaps the only thing making you vulnerable is your perception created from your logic?
Honestly this subject kinda bores me. Ive been home alone with small children for months. I felt comfortable protecting myself and them. I’ve chased people away on foot and in my car. I’ve had firearms ready to go. I was totally self sufficient.
But I would prefer a partner who would rather risk himself while I attend to the kids. And as someone who was almost attacked while pregnant, I felt terrified for myself and the baby. I couldn’t fight back.
Realistically tho, if an intruder comes in with the intent to kill it doesn’t matter anyways. They will probably succeed...
I have an idea... Change your home Wi-Fi name to "FBI Surveillance Van" and just make your router do all the protecting, hahaha . Criminals are going to see that name and say "Umm, not this area" 😜
It happens... the last guy who broke into my vehicle ran like a little bitch and probably peed himself...
Women are at highest risk of being murdered while pregnant. Typically the father is the offender. And I have been abused while pregnant by my ex.
I really want someone who us completely opposite. Will physically protect me, not violate me. Someone who is naturally compelled to defend his family.
That doesn’t make me weak. Men who abuse women are weak. It’s wanting someone who genuinely gives a shit.
Aha! You don't want a protector at all. You want someone that's not a shity human being and to be around people that aren't shity human beings to where you don't even need to live in a world where a protector is needed one way or another.
I think that's really the answer anyway. We don't need stronger more protective people we need better quality humans instead, lol
That's some fairy tale shit that ain't gonna happen.
You're not the author of my fairy tale! I do what I want, lol. you just go off in your little corner and go ahead and write your Grimm story all by yourself. 😜
And wtf is this "go to your corner and write your from story all by yourself"
What a nice guy you are.click to expand
Okay fine.. go to a crowded space full of people where you can't concentrate so you're not alone in a corner? Lol. I mean I'm not responsible for how you interpreted what I said, so if you wanted to take it as a negative that's your decision.
Posted by PhantumPosted by TheApparitionPosted by PhantumPosted by TheApparitionPosted by PhantumPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_Alexander
I don’t view it as protecting as much ad a partner... we are mutually protecting our children.
What are you (both) protecting them from? I have a suspicion you mean preparing and/or defending your children, but just in case I'm wrong I thought I would ask.
What about this scenario... You and your partner are sleeping in bed, your child in the other room, you hear somebody kick in your front door. Would you run down to confront the intruder while your husband gets the child to safety? I'm not trying to be a smart-ass. I'm just saying realistically can you see things happening with that way? 99% of the people are going to say no that's not how the social normatives operate but that brings us right back to the fact that the men are also in a protection role of their partner not just their child.
Since he has more experience with weapons he would handle the intruder.
With my Ex, I chased away multiple thieves from out yard while he slept.
Men are physically stronger... I personally dont feel I’m weak for allowing my partner to protect me. If I’m pregnant or an infant in hand I’m naturally more vulnerable.
You are making the decision based off of logic and not from the standpoint of capability. Yes, everything about the situation is more logical if it were handled that way; however, history and behavioral studies have proven that a mother protecting their child it's vastly more empowered than they are inhibited when faced with adversity, so I think perhaps the only thing making you vulnerable is your perception created from your logic?
Honestly this subject kinda bores me. Ive been home alone with small children for months. I felt comfortable protecting myself and them. I’ve chased people away on foot and in my car. I’ve had firearms ready to go. I was totally self sufficient.
But I would prefer a partner who would rather risk himself while I attend to the kids. And as someone who was almost attacked while pregnant, I felt terrified for myself and the baby. I couldn’t fight back.
Realistically tho, if an intruder comes in with the intent to kill it doesn’t matter anyways. They will probably succeed...
I have an idea... Change your home Wi-Fi name to "FBI Surveillance Van" and just make your router do all the protecting, hahaha . Criminals are going to see that name and say "Umm, not this area" 😜
It happens... the last guy who broke into my vehicle ran like a little bitch and probably peed himself...
Women are at highest risk of being murdered while pregnant. Typically the father is the offender. And I have been abused while pregnant by my ex.
I really want someone who us completely opposite. Will physically protect me, not violate me. Someone who is naturally compelled to defend his family.
That doesn’t make me weak. Men who abuse women are weak. It’s wanting someone who genuinely gives a shit.
Aha! You don't want a protector at all. You want someone that's not a shity human being and to be around people that aren't shity human beings to wear you don't even need to live in a world traer protector is needed one way or another.
I think that's really the answer anyway. We don't need stronger more protective people we need better quality humans instead, lol
That will never happen, humans have always been vile.
I do believe men naturally feel the need to protect their loved ones. Thats okay.
I'm not super protective tbh, lol. I'm the guy that yells at the TV screen during horror movies saying "That's what you get for being stupid" haha. My self preservation drive is much greater than that of my natural protection drive of others.
for example in the scenarios we were talking about earlier in my mind when somebody kicks down the door we both go grab the child and get to safety and neither of us confronts the damn intruder because that's retarded and that's how people die, lol. I just said it the other way to make a point that's all. Hahaha
Its fight or flight
Neither is wrong
Not true... The flight response occurs before any conscious thought takes place in the mind. The fight response only happens when the flight response is consciously overridden.
Where did you get that idea? I've always read (and experienced) that both are automatic or near automatic, not requiring conscious thought. Recently, "freeze" has been added to the automatic choices, from observation of certain animals and women.
I guess I'll give you the short version because it doesn't seem you have direct messaging on, haha. The way this happens is because our fight-or-flight as I'm sure you know is dictated by our amygdala; however, because of the way memories are stored throughout different areas of the brain they first have to be cross-referenced before the fight response can be deemed unacceptable risk to ones overall well-being whereas the flight response does not require any validation to be the overall best case scenario if you will so the brain defaults to that decision before conscious thought needs to take place.
Hehehe, thwarted.
If that is the case, if someone defaults to "fight" does that mean they've been programmed to do so by their environment? Or are they making a fraction-of-a-second decision that "fight" is the better response?
That's actually dual sided... One is people not allowing themselves to properly experience their negative emotions, because whenever you suppress them your system cannot correctly assigned them a classification to their true level of impact. The second is ironically caused by our addiction to wanting to do good things for the dopamine response. Behavioral research suggests that humans willingly interact with strangers in ways that are beneficial to others, even when it is not in their own best interest simply because your brain overrides the fight or flight response seeking the reward response instead. I can link you a really interesting article on that if you want but that's up to you.
I'm talking about when the fight or flight response happens appropriately, in response to a dangerous situation. Many people default to fight.click to expand
The sad fact is many people default to confusion and that's how they end up dead because their brain is all fucked up off of incorrect base values or self induced chemical addictions, hahaha.
In truth I think we are both correct and a lot of it may depend on cultural variables too. I would imagine that tribesmen in Africa have a very different learned conditioned response then someone in the dark alley of Utah, haha.
Posted by SlipperySlopePosted by TheApparitionPosted by SlipperySlopePosted by TheApparitionPosted by SlipperySlopePosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by TheApparitionPosted by Jade_Alexander
I don’t view it as protecting as much ad a partner... we are mutually protecting our children.
What are you (both) protecting them from? I have a suspicion you mean preparing and/or defending your children, but just in case I'm wrong I thought I would ask.
What about this scenario... You and your partner are sleeping in bed, your child in the other room, you hear somebody kick in your front door. Would you run down to confront the intruder while your husband gets the child to safety? I'm not trying to be a smart-ass. I'm just saying realistically can you see things happening with that way? 99% of the people are going to say no that's not how the social normatives operate but that brings us right back to the fact that the men are also in a protection role of their partner not just their child.
Since he has more experience with weapons he would handle the intruder.
With my Ex, I chased away multiple thieves from out yard while he slept.
Men are physically stronger... I personally dont feel I’m weak for allowing my partner to protect me. If I’m pregnant or an infant in hand I’m naturally more vulnerable.
You are making the decision based off of logic and not from the standpoint of capability. Yes, everything about the situation is more logical if it were handled that way; however, history and behavioral studies have proven that a mother protecting their child it's vastly more empowered than they are inhibited when faced with adversity, so I think perhaps the only thing making you vulnerable is your perception created from your logic?
Honestly this subject kinda bores me. Ive been home alone with small children for months. I felt comfortable protecting myself and them. I’ve chased people away on foot and in my car. I’ve had firearms ready to go. I was totally self sufficient.
But I would prefer a partner who would rather risk himself while I attend to the kids. And as someone who was almost attacked while pregnant, I felt terrified for myself and the baby. I couldn’t fight back.
Realistically tho, if an intruder comes in with the intent to kill it doesn’t matter anyways. They will probably succeed...
I have an idea... Change your home Wi-Fi name to "FBI Surveillance Van" and just make your router do all the protecting, hahaha . Criminals are going to see that name and say "Umm, not this area" 😜
It happens... the last guy who broke into my vehicle ran like a little bitch and probably peed himself...
Women are at highest risk of being murdered while pregnant. Typically the father is the offender. And I have been abused while pregnant by my ex.
I really want someone who us completely opposite. Will physically protect me, not violate me. Someone who is naturally compelled to defend his family.
That doesn’t make me weak. Men who abuse women are weak. It’s wanting someone who genuinely gives a shit.
Aha! You don't want a protector at all. You want someone that's not a shity human being and to be around people that aren't shity human beings to where you don't even need to live in a world where a protector is needed one way or another.
I think that's really the answer anyway. We don't need stronger more protective people we need better quality humans instead, lol
That's some fairy tale shit that ain't gonna happen.
You're not the author of my fairy tale! I do what I want, lol. you just go off in your little corner and go ahead and write your Grimm story all by yourself. 😜
And wtf is this "go to your corner and write your from story all by yourself"
What a nice guy you are.
Okay fine.. go to a crowded space full of people where you can't concentrate so you're not alone in a corner? Lol. I mean I'm not responsible for how you interpreted what I said, so if you wanted to take it as a negative that's your decision.
Oh aren't you so high and enlightend.click to expand
Nope... Just a guy behind a keyboard.
Posted by Aquarelle
What a negative way of looking at this. I wouldn't even want you near my kids with an attitude like that.
Exactly! His entire mentality behind this is so ugly.
If you feel that way then maybe, i dont know, dont date her?
Wow @ all the people with children taking offense to his opinion or preference. Don’t expect people who don’t have kids of their own to understand your situation/position. This is why I say singles with no kids should date alike and vice versa. It’s a matter of understanding and relating.
When my dad passed away, my mom later on dated this guy who was her age but he didn’t have kids of his own. The man just didn’t understand or could remotely understand a parents sentiments/responsibilities towards their kids. My mom’s priority was her kids and it took away from his time with her or it often did require him to take the backseat. He didn’t understand because he couldn’t relate. He threw tantrums and they broke up. My mom never expected him to pay for her kids. He couldn’t bear not getting my mom’s full attention. That’s fair enough but the dude has to date someone who is on the same page as him. Later on, my mom dated a guy who was a widower as well with kids and he totally understood my mom’s position. He didn’t complain or anything. He knew that kids come first.
I personally wouldn’t date single dads either. Not because I hate kids or that his kids would be my financial or emotional responsibility (because they wouldn’t be). I would date someone on the same boat as me and it’s not fair to me that I lose out on companionship while he tends to his kids. I understand kids come first and I respect parents who do that! Some of my gfs didn’t have kids but they are dating single dads and I hear the complaints.
When my dad passed away, my mom later on dated this guy who was her age but he didn’t have kids of his own. The man just didn’t understand or could remotely understand a parents sentiments/responsibilities towards their kids. My mom’s priority was her kids and it took away from his time with her or it often did require him to take the backseat. He didn’t understand because he couldn’t relate. He threw tantrums and they broke up. My mom never expected him to pay for her kids. He couldn’t bear not getting my mom’s full attention. That’s fair enough but the dude has to date someone who is on the same page as him. Later on, my mom dated a guy who was a widower as well with kids and he totally understood my mom’s position. He didn’t complain or anything. He knew that kids come first.
I personally wouldn’t date single dads either. Not because I hate kids or that his kids would be my financial or emotional responsibility (because they wouldn’t be). I would date someone on the same boat as me and it’s not fair to me that I lose out on companionship while he tends to his kids. I understand kids come first and I respect parents who do that! Some of my gfs didn’t have kids but they are dating single dads and I hear the complaints.
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