I don’t want a kid and my s/o does.

It’s went from joking around about having one and now he’s low key being serious. I’m not comfortable with the idea of having a kid.. I never have. I had a terrible upbringing and a lot of fears follow that.. I don’t want my kid to be fatherless, I don’t want my kid to have a tough life.

I’m not even done my social worker degree, I’m a year in and have three more years to go. I want to be financially stable before I even think of having a child. We’ve been together for over 6 years now and every time I say I don’t want one or can we wait he says then leave. Has anyone ever been in this situation? I love him to pieces but this is getting ridiculous. I’m just so afraid to have a kid in this moment of my life. :’(

Posted by HoovesofTopaz
Wait until you’re ready. It’s a ton of responsibility and it’s sweet he wants a baby with you but ultimately it’s your decision. Maybe get a pet?

I’ve heard before no ones ever ready to have a kid.. and it just happens but I don’t like the sound of it ‘just happening’ it’s a big step.. I think he fears I’ll never be ready to have one. We have quite abit of pets too.. maybe another puppy will suffice.

Posted by ufo
I had a friend who was in this dilemma, they're not together anymore

marriage and kids are hard to compromise on

This is what I’m afraid of.. I just never thought I’d be in this position.

Posted by ufo

Posted by haunt

Posted by ufo
I had a friend who was in this dilemma, they're not together anymore

marriage and kids are hard to compromise on

This is what I’m afraid of.. I just never thought I’d be in this position. click to expand

I mean you cant be afraid cuz then you'll settle into having one of you be unhappy while the other is happy, so it's better to talk about it now click to expand

click to expand

We do talk about it and it just ends in a big argument, he doesn’t want to be in his 50s while the kids 12 and he can’t do anything with it.. that’s completely understandable but.. I just feel super anxious about the idea of having a baby.

How old are you?

Posted by UnusualVaginalDischarge

Posted by haunt

Posted by ufo

Posted by haunt

Posted by ufo
I had a friend who was in this dilemma, they're not together anymore

marriage and kids are hard to compromise on

This is what I’m afraid of.. I just never thought I’d be in this position. click to expand

I mean you cant be afraid cuz then you'll settle into having one of you be unhappy while the other is happy, so it's better to talk about it now click to expand

We do talk about it and it just ends in a big argument, he doesn’t want to be in his 50s while the kids 12 and he can’t do anything with it.. that’s completely understandable but.. I just feel super anxious about the idea of having a baby. click to expand

Is he financially stable? click to expand

click to expand

He is not.

Posted by LadyNeptune
How old are you?

26.

Posted by haunt

Posted by LadyNeptune
How old are you?

26. click to expand

click to expand

Wait till the baby making hormones kick in.

Posted by UnusualVaginalDischarge

Posted by haunt

Posted by UnusualVaginalDischarge

Posted by haunt

Posted by ufo

Posted by haunt

Posted by ufo
I had a friend who was in this dilemma, they're not together anymore

marriage and kids are hard to compromise on

This is what I’m afraid of.. I just never thought I’d be in this position. click to expand

I mean you cant be afraid cuz then you'll settle into having one of you be unhappy while the other is happy, so it's better to talk about it now click to expand

We do talk about it and it just ends in a big argument, he doesn’t want to be in his 50s while the kids 12 and he can’t do anything with it.. that’s completely understandable but.. I just feel super anxious about the idea of having a baby. click to expand

Is he financially stable? click to expand

He is not. click to expand

Then be the practical voice and wait a bit longer

You can also tell him ‘the sooner you’re financially stable, the sooner I’ll pop one out’

Make sure he marries you—it’s a legal contract, so if he leaves you—you can sue for alimony and child support etc click to expand

click to expand

He was striving for a better career in the past but jumped ship onto something else. Being financially stable is the most important thing to me, we’re not at that level yet. Even if he can’t help out much due to his career choice I’m more than happy to do more when I’m finished school. I’ve been homeless while I was young I will never EVER let my first born live that type of life.

Posted by topes
Imagine having kids if u were born 100+ years ago. Or better yet research it.

This is the best time in all existence to procreate.

If youre white you better damn well change your mind. We are in serious decline. Lol.

How do you figure? About the decline bit...

Ewww how is he gonna talk babies if he doesn’t have the funds.

Tell him the conversation is tabled indefinitely. Until you’ve purchased a home, have your degree, and he gets more $ $ coming in you can’t seriously consider having a kid.

Posted by LadyNeptune
Ewww how is he gonna talk babies if he doesn’t have the funds.

Tell him the conversation is tabled indefinitely. Until you’ve purchased a home, have your degree, and he gets more $ $ coming in you can’t seriously consider having a kid.

Right?! I’m so baffled with him right now.

Posted by topes

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by topes
Imagine having kids if u were born 100+ years ago. Or better yet research it.

This is the best time in all existence to procreate.

If youre white you better damn well change your mind. We are in serious decline. Lol.

How do you figure? About the decline bit... click to expand

Im going off stats according to psychologist sources. Since the 70s we are going backward in birth rates. Way behind other races. We need to make more babies. click to expand

click to expand

Only one race, the human race.

Those stats ring true for all ethnicities in western societies.

This isn’t little house on the prairie days, no need to populate the earth. Resources dwindling and all that.

Posted by topes

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by topes

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by topes
Imagine having kids if u were born 100+ years ago. Or better yet research it.

This is the best time in all existence to procreate.

If youre white you better damn well change your mind. We are in serious decline. Lol.

How do you figure? About the decline bit... click to expand

Im going off stats according to psychologist sources. Since the 70s we are going backward in birth rates. Way behind other races. We need to make more babies. click to expand

Only one race, the human race.

Those stats ring true for all ethnicities in western societies.
This isn’t little house on the prairie days, no need to populate the earth. Resources dwindling and all that. click to expand

I stated a factual reference & was having a lil fun. You turned this into something else. Have a beer. Chill. click to expand

click to expand

Where’d you get that from?

Posted by Arielle83
One of the reasons I saw no future with my husband was cuz he changed his mind of wanting kids.

I’m dating someone now who is 46 and wants kids. Just finishing paying his house off this year and go travelling together and we’ll start talking again.

If he’s certain he wants kids and you’re against it might want to see what u really want.

I just want stability before a kid is even brought up, my mom was a single mother with two kids and she struggled so much trying to keep a roof over our head or food to eat. I don’t want my kid to live like that.

Posted by Nevamore

Posted by haunt

Posted by Arielle83
One of the reasons I saw no future with my husband was cuz he changed his mind of wanting kids.

I’m dating someone now who is 46 and wants kids. Just finishing paying his house off this year and go travelling together and we’ll start talking again.

If he’s certain he wants kids and you’re against it might want to see what u really want.

I just want stability before a kid is even brought up, my mom was a single mother with two kids and she struggled so much trying to keep a roof over our head or food to eat. I don’t want my kid to live like that.

If he's that selfish to understand that, then I wonder what kind of 6 years relationship process does he lives for. click to expand

click to expand

All he cares about is his age and being too old to care for/do anything with his kids. He doesn’t seem to worry about the financial side of it. 😐 Anytime we argue about it, it’s all about /his/ age.

Posted by Nevamore

Posted by haunt

Posted by Nevamore

Posted by haunt

Posted by Arielle83
One of the reasons I saw no future with my husband was cuz he changed his mind of wanting kids.

I’m dating someone now who is 46 and wants kids. Just finishing paying his house off this year and go travelling together and we’ll start talking again.

If he’s certain he wants kids and you’re against it might want to see what u really want.

I just want stability before a kid is even brought up, my mom was a single mother with two kids and she struggled so much trying to keep a roof over our head or food to eat. I don’t want my kid to live like that.

If he's that selfish to understand that, then I wonder what kind of 6 years relationship process does he lives for. click to expand

All he cares about is his age and being too old to care for/do anything with his kids. He doesn’t seem to worry about the financial side of it. 😐 Anytime we argue about it, it’s all about /his/ age.

how long has this been though? click to expand

click to expand

How long has he been asking about kids? A year, he’s been gradually getting more pushy.

Posted by Impulsv
How old is he

30.

Don’t have kids honey, I respect people like you

do you not want to have kids or are you afraid of having kids?

Posted by ScorpioTruth
Hugs to you ❤️ Have you thought about talking to anyone about your fears? Is the fear the only thing that is preventing you from wanting to have kids in the future? Or do you just not like kids?

I don’t mind kids, it’s a fear of having kids at the wrong time/not being ready and putting them in the same unstable life I had. I want my kids lives to be without worry. Also no I’ve been pretty quiet about it, only my Taurus friend knows of it and she supports my decision on not having one yet.