@aquapiscescusp
14 Years10,000+ Posts
People who don't want kids
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Not at all. I had a great childhood; wouldn't trade that in for anything. I personally do not want that kind of responsibilty. I value my freedom.
Posted by Iamawinelover
Not at all. I had a great childhood; wouldn't trade that in for anything. I personally do not want that kind of responsibilty. I value my freedom.
So, you would never want them?
Posted by Iamawinelover
Not at all. I had a great childhood; wouldn't trade that in for anything. I personally do not want that kind of responsibilty. I value my freedom.So, you would never want them?
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Actully no I don't. It doesn't surprise me that I don't have any at my age because I never had that feeling of wanting to be a mother. I also feel that any man that I date or possibly marry will most likely have kids already so there is no need for me to have any.
I want to have 7 kids = )
Understandable ??_ but
No kids??_ no mention of whom or what you were??_! Ever think of that..?
Definitely not. Such responsibility is not for everyone and I find it absolutely acceptable that those who recognize that having children will not make them happy choose not to have them, for practical reasons or not. Nothing to do with bad childhood.
Posted by Lucriu
I want to have 7 kids = )
I take it that you want to raise 7 also, yes? HA! Having 7 I am sure is the easy part.
Kids give your life PURPOSE
Others things can too, but just not the same.
I see people where my Dad lives (retirement home) with no visitors, because they never had kids, and maybe some could not physically, I'm talking about the ones who chose not to have them.
Wait to have them when you are ready though...get the other things out of they way.
Posted by Lucriu
I want to have 7 kids = )I take it that you want to raise 7 also, yes? HA! Having 7 I am sure is the easy part.
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I had my first kid when i was 18, had to hold 2 jobs, sleep an average of 5 hours a day for like 7 months while getting up every 2 hours for feeding times. I love the responsibility, plus when hearing her crack up to a ribbon dangle in her face... its the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. I love kids, and I love responsibility = ). But yeah you're right, having them is the easy part 😉
Posted by sunshine222
Kids give your life PURPOSEOthers things can too, but just not the same.
I see people where my Dad lives (retirement home) with no visitors, because they never had kids, and maybe some could not physically, I'm talking about the ones who chose not to have them.
I dont think they give life a PURPOSE, they do make it more enjoyable though = ).
Posted by sunshine222
Kids give your life PURPOSEOthers things can too, but just not the same.
I see people where my Dad lives (retirement home) with no visitors, because they never had kids, and maybe some could not physically, I'm talking about the ones who chose not to have them.
There is an article online on this very subject and Time Magazine's cover states "Having It All Without Kids". So my life doesn't have a purpose because I choose not to have any?
I wouldn't want to be a lonely old man without kids and grandkids.
Sounds like a really miserable way to go through life at the end.
Posted by sunshine222
Kids give your life PURPOSEOthers things can too, but just not the same.
I see people where my Dad lives (retirement home) with no visitors, because they never had kids, and maybe some could not physically, I'm talking about the ones who chose not to have them.
I dont think they give life a PURPOSE, they do make it more enjoyable though = ).
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My life is very enjoyable without children. I have the freedom to do whatever I choose to do in my life with who ever I choose to. So many folks complain about being parents and how hard it is. Why would I want that job?
Posted by Lucriu
I want to have 7 kids = )I take it that you want to raise 7 also, yes? HA! Having 7 I am sure is the easy part.
I had my first kid when i was 18, had to hold 2 jobs, sleep an average of 5 hours a day for like 7 months while getting up every 2 hours for feeding times. I love the responsibility, plus when hearing her crack up to a ribbon dangle in her face... its the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. I love kids, and I love responsibility = ). But yeah you're right, having them is the easy part 😉
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That's awesome and I applaud you. I like kids. I enjoy my nieces and nephews but I also enjoy being able to give them back to their parents when I am ready. 🙂
Posted by Qbone
Understandable ??_ butNo kids??_ no mention of whom or what you were??_! Ever think of that..?
Good point...
Posted by Qbone
Understandable ??_ butNo kids??_ no mention of whom or what you were??_! Ever think of that..?
What do you mean?
I am a freedom seeker extraordinaire so, there is no way my children can hamper my freedom. I find adults and attitudes more threatening to my freedom than anything.
I planned well and had them seven years apart and have the money to support parenthood and lots of freedom.
Posted by VenusAquarius
I am a freedom seeker extraordinaire so, there is no way my children can hamper my freedom. I find adults and attitudes more threatening to my freedom than anything.I planned well and had them seven years apart and have the money to support parenthood and lots of freedom.
Yeah, I can't see why you would lose freedom 🙂
Posted by thebiggcarlos12345678910
there's nothing wrong with having kids. i see nothing wrong with responsibilities, neither. i think it's a joy to have kids. i have them and got another little one on the way and i still have my freedom.🙂
Congratulations!
I think it's scary but once you're in that "world", it's all worth it.
Posted by Lucriu
I want to have 7 kids = )I take it that you want to raise 7 also, yes? HA! Having 7 I am sure is the easy part.
I had my first kid when i was 18, had to hold 2 jobs, sleep an average of 5 hours a day for like 7 months while getting up every 2 hours for feeding times. I love the responsibility, plus when hearing her crack up to a ribbon dangle in her face... its the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. I love kids, and I love responsibility = ). But yeah you're right, having them is the easy part 😉
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Good for you, I got the impression you were very young.
Mind you, you could still be very young...
I can't help but to think that eventually having kids just because you don't want to die alone is a rather selfish reason (if you otherwise wouldn't want to have them).
I can understand it tho, and the legacy issue. Pass on your genes and you won the game of life, in the most primal outlook.
I don't like them & I'm a mother lol. One time I saw a documentary on Octomum & I imagined myself in her shoes...I didn't like that fantasy at all. Scary. One is enough for me.
Posted by Theatrum
I can't help but to think that eventually having kids just because you don't want to die alone is a rather selfish reason (if you otherwise wouldn't want to have them).I can understand it tho, and the legacy issue. Pass on your genes and you won the game of life, in the most primal outlook.
Since when is it selfish to wish to have the company of family members as you age?
That's a pretty shitty thing to say to someone.
Fact is, as we age, people we classify as "friends" disappear or do their own thing.
All we have ultimately have left are those biologically related to us, and to deny oneself contact with family companionship and support is a miserable, foolish and selfish pursuit.
Posted by JenLove
Nope it has nothing to do with upbringing, at least not for me. I had a great childhood with very fond memories and I don't necessarily want children. I just think that the choice of wanting to have kids to not die a lonely person is a ridiculous and selfish reason to want to have kids and I can't really see that there is any non-selfish reason to have children. I have several personal reasons to not want to have kids, one of the main ones is just the fear of not being able to constantly protect them.Children are great, they bring a lot of joy and it's fascinating to watch them grow. I can't say I'll never have any, I can only speak on how I feel now.
Not being able to protect them was my greatest fear as well... and is still a fear so, I have taught them safety and self defense as much as I can.
When I woke up and looked into my son's beautiful face staring back at me sucking the same two fingers my younger brother sucked, I was like, "oh what have I done!"... a young innocent black male... deep sigh.
But, so far he's fine. I did good.
Posted by Theatrum
I can't help but to think that eventually having kids just because you don't want to die alone is a rather selfish reason (if you otherwise wouldn't want to have them).I can understand it tho, and the legacy issue. Pass on your genes and you won the game of life, in the most primal outlook.
Since when is it selfish to wish to have the company of family members as you age?
That's a pretty shitty thing to say to someone.
Fact is, as we age, people we classify as "friends" disappear or do their own thing.
All we have ultimately have left are those biologically related to us, and to deny oneself contact with family companionship and support is a miserable, foolish and selfish pursuit.
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I agree with everything you said, you misread my post. What I was getting at was that if someone dislikes children and doesn't truly care about their upbringing, but decides to have a child at a certain age anyway purely because of fear of dying alone, it wouldn't be fair to the child. Of course I don't find having children selfish in any other scenario.
Posted by Theatrum
I can't help but to think that eventually having kids just because you don't want to die alone is a rather selfish reason (if you otherwise wouldn't want to have them).I can understand it tho, and the legacy issue. Pass on your genes and you won the game of life, in the most primal outlook.
Since when is it selfish to wish to have the company of family members as you age?
That's a pretty shitty thing to say to someone.
Fact is, as we age, people we classify as "friends" disappear or do their own thing.
All we have ultimately have left are those biologically related to us, and to deny oneself contact with family companionship and support is a miserable, foolish and selfish pursuit.
I agree with everything you said, you misread my post. What I was getting at was that if someone dislikes children and doesn't truly care about their upbringing, but decides to have a child at a certain age anyway purely because of fear of dying alone, it wouldn't be fair to the child. Of course I don't find having children selfish in any other scenario.
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Oh, I see.
Thank you for the edification.
Posted by Theatrum
I can't help but to think that eventually having kids just because you don't want to die alone is a rather selfish reason (if you otherwise wouldn't want to have them).I can understand it tho, and the legacy issue. Pass on your genes and you won the game of life, in the most primal outlook.
Since when is it selfish to wish to have the company of family members as you age?
That's a pretty shitty thing to say to someone.
Fact is, as we age, people we classify as "friends" disappear or do their own thing.
All we have ultimately have left are those biologically related to us, and to deny oneself contact with family companionship and support is a miserable, foolish and selfish pursuit.
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I have too much not to want to share it with family. My life, money, my love... I have to share it.
I love children period. Doesn't matter if they are mine or not... and children must sense it because they are drawn to me...animals drawn to me too.
My children's friends fill my home.
I'm an Aries born in the Week of the Child.
Posted by OOOOOi
I lived in the hood* as well. Money does play a factor, but im saying you don't need to get greedy with it to think you need so much to raise a kid. Trust me, I lived in a place where I at a young age had to help my parents pump water. We bought what was needed, made sure there was water for the whole day, come up with games, etc. Sometimes there would be blackouts and people made those times enjoyable.
I can relate to this.
Some families have alternative life style s that are going make them "different."
Religious beliefs, green lives, or, just personal views.
I work with a 29 year old who never played a video game or owned one... and is/was not impoverished.
Posted by JenLove
Nope it has nothing to do with upbringing, at least not for me. I had a great childhood with very fond memories and I don't necessarily want children. I just think that the choice of wanting to have kids to not die a lonely person is a ridiculous and selfish reason to want to have kids and I can't really see that there is any non-selfish reason to have children. I have several personal reasons to not want to have kids, one of the main ones is just the fear of not being able to constantly protect them.Children are great, they bring a lot of joy and it's fascinating to watch them grow. I can't say I'll never have any, I can only speak on how I feel now.
Not being able to protect them was my greatest fear as well... and is still a fear so, I have taught them safety and self defense as much as I can.
When I woke up and looked into my son's beautiful face staring back at me sucking the same two fingers my younger brother sucked, I was like, "oh what have I done!"... a young innocent black male... deep sigh.
But, so far he's fine. I did good.
Lol moments like that must be great though.
It's not so much a fear of protecting them just from physical things but, also emotional pain. To see anyone I love suffer, especially a person I created who I love immeasurably would kill me. It's just a scary thought. Maybe that fear is healthy though, it'll always keep you guarded.
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I understood what you said. It is all encompassing. And as I journeyed down the path of protector, I realized that going too far protecting is not healthy. Pain is a part of life and can build character physically, emotionally, spiritually... and I could hamper development...balance.
Posted by OOOOOi
I lived in the hood* as well. Money does play a factor, but im saying you don't need to get greedy with it to think you need so much to raise a kid. Trust me, I lived in a place where I at a young age had to help my parents pump water. We bought what was needed, made sure there was water for the whole day, come up with games, etc. Sometimes there would be blackouts and people made those times enjoyable.I can relate to this.
Times have changed though but I think its important to have experienced "hardships" to really appreciate what is important in life.
Our car was so ghetto the windows were plastic. Lol
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LMAO. It's true that one should experience some hardships in life to be appreciative etc, but no parent wants that for their kids. We all want them to have the best, better than what we had. It'd kill me if my child ever experiences anything that hurts him emotionally. I think I'll 'whack' any girl that breaks his heart lol...yeah they'll deal with mama.
I had a co-worker whose mother was such a germaphobe that she, as an adult, has quite a few allergies. She is a Registered Nurse.
Did not build up many immunities.
My husband comes from farming /land ownership wealth... hard work and a good bit of luxury.
Posted by OOOOOi
I lived in the hood* as well. Money does play a factor, but im saying you don't need to get greedy with it to think you need so much to raise a kid. Trust me, I lived in a place where I at a young age had to help my parents pump water. We bought what was needed, made sure there was water for the whole day, come up with games, etc. Sometimes there would be blackouts and people made those times enjoyable.I can relate to this.
Times have changed though but I think its important to have experienced "hardships" to really appreciate what is important in life.
Our car was so ghetto the windows were plastic. Lol
LMAO. It's true that one should experience some hardships in life to be appreciative etc, but no parent wants that for their kids. We all want them to have the best, better than what we had. It'd kill me if my child ever experiences anything that hurts him emotionally. I think I'll 'whack' any girl that breaks his heart lol...yeah they'll deal with mama.
Hardships doesn't have to be what we experienced but it can be just something they can learn from and appreciate life.
Challenges/hardships make people grow.
I just want my kid to be able to survive in any given environment, cant be spoiled.
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I lost a mother very early in life & I know how hard life can be without a mum..reason why I'm very protective & generous to my child. I don't want him to be without anything. Your way is good too, it's not bad at all & I'm sure your kid will grow up to be a well balanced person.
Posted by VenusAquarius
My husband comes from farming /land ownership wealth... hard work and a good bit of luxury.
Is he a hardworking person too? I think most people have a wrong idea about those who grew up with wealth, they think spoilt etc & it isn't always the case. My ex-husband is from a well to do Arab family, import family business of 50+ years & he is a very hard worker. He is his own man & doesn't ask his family for a dime. True Aries to the bone lol..you'd never think he is from a rich family.
I came from entrepreneurial wealth and was sorta anti- wealth for a bit. Due to misguided personification of money as as the root to family issues.
I was just protecting myself against the true character of the adults in my life.
I experienced being socially ostracized because of my family's wealth (Reagonomics was a due or die time and my family did.)
Posted by VenusAquarius
My husband comes from farming /land ownership wealth... hard work and a good bit of luxury.Is he a hardworking person too? I think most people have a wrong idea about those who grew up with wealth, they think spoilt etc & it isn't always the case. My ex-husband is from a well to do Arab family, import family business of 50+ years & he is a very hard worker. He is his own man & doesn't ask his family for a dime. True Aries to the bone lol..you'd never think he is from a rich family.
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He is a hard worker. It's just not so smart, IMO. He loves laboring and refuses desk work but, I understand. It's just that the world is getting away from those types of jobs... and will his body withstand. He associates it with masculinity. In a primal sense, I do to.
I think my earnings afford him the luxury to do what he wants. I'm encouraging him to do white-collar work and he's considering.
Posted by TheProphetProdigy
Well at this stage in my life I don't want kids, actually my whole life I never wanted children but at the same time I also can't predict the future and anything can happened. I don't really know why I don't want them I just don't, I don't feel if I have kids then my life is complete and I found ;love or whatever lol I just don't want children as of right now.
It could also just boil down to not having met "the one" where you feel secure enough to have kids with? We meet many people but how many would you really have kids with??
I think it might come down to how much love you have to give, to share...
Posted by Theatrum
I can't help but to think that eventually having kids just because you don't want to die alone is a rather selfish reason (if you otherwise wouldn't want to have them).I can understand it tho, and the legacy issue. Pass on your genes and you won the game of life, in the most primal outlook.
Since when is it selfish to wish to have the company of family members as you age?
That's a pretty shitty thing to say to someone.
Fact is, as we age, people we classify as "friends" disappear or do their own thing.
All we have ultimately have left are those biologically related to us, and to deny oneself contact with family companionship and support is a miserable, foolish and selfish pursuit.
I have too much not to want to share it with family. My life, money, my love... I have to share it.
I love children period. Doesn't matter if they are mine or not... and children must sense it because they are drawn to me...animals drawn to me too.
My children's friends fill my home.
I'm an Aries born in the Week of the Child.
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This.
HA! Never...no thanks.
Legacy is probably the most stupid reason to have kids. I can't understand that concept.
I think I was more open to the idea of having kids few years back, than I am now. The older I get, the more I realize kids are not the answer to whatever the question is. At least not to me. Weird right, it usually goes the other way with age?
When I was younger, I saw myself with a family of my own and the whole deal. Now I just feel I'd be suffocated by that life style . Maybe because it doesn't mean anything to have kids anymore, just like it doesn't mean anything to be married. These days any idiot can do it - and DOES it. I see it around me all the time and suddenly it's not that appealing anymore. Many of these "units" are just too depressing to observe, I feel sorry for both the kids and the parents.
Many have kids because they feel they lack purpose and direction in life, they simply don't have any other ambitions. Others have kids because they never question the concept of "family life" or why they want it. I myself find the outskirts of that life a little more appealing at this point in my life.
I think I'm too selfish and "hungry" (not necesserily in a bad sense) at this point to be able to completely invest myself in bringing up a child with everything that that involves. Some family members have said that I'm still "immature like guys usually are, and that I'll come around eventually", but I think I've put more reason behind why I'm not having kids (yet) then these specific individuals have for having them.
Though I'll admit I see myself with a family of my own some time in the future. I guess all the above is just me being EXTREMELY picky about who I want to share that with. It's gotta be someone I have immense respect for. I don't believe in doing these things half-heartedly.
It is not something I MUST HAVE in this life, it's just something that if it happens, I'll know exactly why it happened!
(And no, not because the condom broke 😛 )
Posted by cunninglinguist
Because there's no logical reason to have kids. If I can be convinced with logical reasons to breed, I'll breed.But as it stands, I see only cons - financially, timewise, energywise, and pregnancy ruins ur body.
And I don't want to hear any sentimental nonsense reasons for having kids either....just rational benefits please.
Spoken like a true child of the 21th century! 😛
Have kids in this day and age?...no thanks!!!
But every generation of the 20th century has said that I'm sure, yet here we are still.
Posted by enfant_terrible
But every generation of the 20th century has said that I'm sure, yet here we are still.
True but maybe the world should stop now lol
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or don't like them ~
Do you think it stems from a bad childhood? Just curious on your opinions...