RED FLAGS IN RELATIONSHIPS

So I thought I would make a thread people can add to about relationship red flags since so many come here for advice and because they are following their hearts they seem blind or oblivious to the red flags... so let's go! NAME THEM ❤️

You spending money on them but when it's their time they dissapear or make excuses

When they insist on you to buy everything if you're a man

Constant silent treatments

Dissapearing and reappearing constantly

Planning a date and flaking or always making excuses

Posted by lesenfantterribles
when they are 35+ years old & have never been in a relationship longer than 3 months

Major red flag right there

Posted by Lilianni
Planning a date and flaking or always making excuses

Yes yes yes

Only takes you out one or two times and then you're footing the bill for everything moving forward. It's not a 50/50 relationship.

The things I listed are signs of a Sociopath. Which was my experience, and it sucks. They ruin your life. Any terms you don't understand, Google it. The sooner you get away from one, the better.

-Hides you from their friends and family

-Tells you they love you very soon in the relationship/Lovebombing/moving fast

-Tries to tell you something didn't happen when it did/Gaslighting

-Superficial. Fake.

-No connection to their past.

-Huge ego/can't swallow pride

-Always playing the victim/never in the wrong/can't admit when they fuck up

-Shit doesn't add up/lies lies lies!

-Does anything to protect said lie

-Lives like a parasite/always using people

-Isolates you from your family and friends.

-SUPER dramatic

-No goals in life/not trying to reach them

-Immaturity (Didn't need to name that huh?)

-Always blaming someone else

-No guilt, shame, remorse, conscience

-All of their exes are somehow crazy or evil or something that makes the person look innocent

-Too charming (usually fake)

-Tries to play up good qualities so they seem like a catch

-Constantly bringing up exes and comparing you to them

-Degrading you, down talking you, making you feel horrible or worthless

-Treats you nicely in the beginning, then when their true colors show and you pull back, they put the fake niceness back on to pull you back

-Wants to spend 100% of their time with you, as if they don't have a life

-Demands to check your phone

-Demands changes of you that they themselves won't make

-Tries to manipulate you

-Gives you ultimatums

-Empty promises



Thats all I can think of rn. Hope you take heed.

Posted by shaymaci
The things I listed are signs of a Sociopath. Which was my experience, and it sucks. They ruin your life. Any terms you don't understand, Google it. The sooner you get away from one, the better.

-Hides you from their friends and family

-Tells you they love you very soon in the relationship/Lovebombing/moving fast

-Tries to tell you something didn't happen when it did/Gaslighting

-Superficial. Fake.

-No connection to their past.

-Huge ego/can't swallow pride

-Always playing the victim/never in the wrong/can't admit when they fuck up

-Shit doesn't add up/lies lies lies!

-Does anything to protect said lie

-Lives like a parasite/always using people

-Isolates you from your family and friends.

-SUPER dramatic

-No goals in life/not trying to reach them

-Immaturity (Didn't need to name that huh?)

-Always blaming someone else

-No guilt, shame, remorse, conscience

-All of their exes are somehow crazy or evil or something that makes the person look innocent

-Too charming (usually fake)

-Tries to play up good qualities so they seem like a catch

-Constantly bringing up exes and comparing you to them

-Degrading you, down talking you, making you feel horrible or worthless

-Treats you nicely in the beginning, then when their true colors show and you pull back, they put the fake niceness back on to pull you back

-Wants to spend 100% of their time with you, as if they don't have a life

-Demands to check your phone

-Demands changes of you that they themselves won't make

-Tries to manipulate you

-Gives you ultimatums

-Empty promises



Thats all I can think of rn. Hope you take heed.

Yesssss —? Sounds like a narcissists and so dead on.... very good list! ❤️

Posted by Godzilla

Posted by SPUNKYTAURUS

Posted by shaymaci
The things I listed are signs of a Sociopath. Which was my experience, and it sucks. They ruin your life. Any terms you don't understand, Google it. The sooner you get away from one, the better.

-Hides you from their friends and family

-Tells you they love you very soon in the relationship/Lovebombing/moving fast

-Tries to tell you something didn't happen when it did/Gaslighting

-Superficial. Fake.

-No connection to their past.

-Huge ego/can't swallow pride

-Always playing the victim/never in the wrong/can't admit when they fuck up

-Shit doesn't add up/lies lies lies!

-Does anything to protect said lie

-Lives like a parasite/always using people

-Isolates you from your family and friends.

-SUPER dramatic

-No goals in life/not trying to reach them

-Immaturity (Didn't need to name that huh?)

-Always blaming someone else

-No guilt, shame, remorse, conscience

-All of their exes are somehow crazy or evil or something that makes the person look innocent

-Too charming (usually fake)

-Tries to play up good qualities so they seem like a catch

-Constantly bringing up exes and comparing you to them

-Degrading you, down talking you, making you feel horrible or worthless

-Treats you nicely in the beginning, then when their true colors show and you pull back, they put the fake niceness back on to pull you back

-Wants to spend 100% of their time with you, as if they don't have a life

-Demands to check your phone

-Demands changes of you that they themselves won't make

-Tries to manipulate you

-Gives you ultimatums

-Empty promises



Thats all I can think of rn. Hope you take heed.

Yesssss —? Sounds like a narcissists and so dead on.... very good list! ❤️

I just like to add that the using people is correct however it depends on the context, i have used people, went against what they wanted so that they can become better and it often ended up with me suffering for it but the person did improve

click to expand

Elaborate on that?

Posted by SPUNKYTAURUS

Posted by shaymaci
The things I listed are signs of a Sociopath. Which was my experience, and it sucks. They ruin your life. Any terms you don't understand, Google it. The sooner you get away from one, the better.

-Hides you from their friends and family

-Tells you they love you very soon in the relationship/Lovebombing/moving fast

-Tries to tell you something didn't happen when it did/Gaslighting

-Superficial. Fake.

-No connection to their past.

-Huge ego/can't swallow pride

-Always playing the victim/never in the wrong/can't admit when they fuck up

-Shit doesn't add up/lies lies lies!

-Does anything to protect said lie

-Lives like a parasite/always using people

-Isolates you from your family and friends.

-SUPER dramatic

-No goals in life/not trying to reach them

-Immaturity (Didn't need to name that huh?)

-Always blaming someone else

-No guilt, shame, remorse, conscience

-All of their exes are somehow crazy or evil or something that makes the person look innocent

-Too charming (usually fake)

-Tries to play up good qualities so they seem like a catch

-Constantly bringing up exes and comparing you to them

-Degrading you, down talking you, making you feel horrible or worthless

-Treats you nicely in the beginning, then when their true colors show and you pull back, they put the fake niceness back on to pull you back

-Wants to spend 100% of their time with you, as if they don't have a life

-Demands to check your phone

-Demands changes of you that they themselves won't make

-Tries to manipulate you

-Gives you ultimatums

-Empty promises



Thats all I can think of rn. Hope you take heed.

Yesssss —? Sounds like a narcissists and so dead on.... very good list! ❤️

click to expand

Ty mama. Abusive Narcissistic Sociopath survivor here. If this info keeps someone safe, I'm happy to share it. ❤

telling me to quit smoking.

Tries to tell you what you can and can't wear

Tells you to not wear makeup when you go out

Tries to keep you from getting close with anyone else besides them.

When they just get out of an exclusive relationship and already having "serious" feelings

Posted by Rindaroo
Drinks too much.. usually a sign of soothing behavior instead of dealing with issues.

Coward

Posted by shaymaci
The things I listed are signs of a Sociopath. Which was my experience, and it sucks. They ruin your life. Any terms you don't understand, Google it. The sooner you get away from one, the better.

-Hides you from their friends and family

-Tells you they love you very soon in the relationship/Lovebombing/moving fast

-Tries to tell you something didn't happen when it did/Gaslighting

-Superficial. Fake.

-No connection to their past.

-Huge ego/can't swallow pride

-Always playing the victim/never in the wrong/can't admit when they fuck up

-Shit doesn't add up/lies lies lies!

-Does anything to protect said lie

-Lives like a parasite/always using people

-Isolates you from your family and friends.

-SUPER dramatic

-No goals in life/not trying to reach them

-Immaturity (Didn't need to name that huh?)

-Always blaming someone else

-No guilt, shame, remorse, conscience

-All of their exes are somehow crazy or evil or something that makes the person look innocent

-Too charming (usually fake)

-Tries to play up good qualities so they seem like a catch

-Constantly bringing up exes and comparing you to them

-Degrading you, down talking you, making you feel horrible or worthless

-Treats you nicely in the beginning, then when their true colors show and you pull back, they put the fake niceness back on to pull you back

-Wants to spend 100% of their time with you, as if they don't have a life

-Demands to check your phone

-Demands changes of you that they themselves won't make

-Tries to manipulate you

-Gives you ultimatums

-Empty promises



Thats all I can think of rn. Hope you take heed.

The stuff in bold was what I experienced with a friend (this doesn't exclusively happen in relationships), although the 2nd point I experienced gaslighting in the reverse (telling you something happened/you did something bad when nothing happened and you did nothing).

There were red flags quite early on but I wasn't paying attention enough to cut and run early.

Posted by Ram416

Posted by shaymaci
The things I listed are signs of a Sociopath. Which was my experience, and it sucks. They ruin your life. Any terms you don't understand, Google it. The sooner you get away from one, the better.

-Hides you from their friends and family

-Tells you they love you very soon in the relationship/Lovebombing/moving fast

-Tries to tell you something didn't happen when it did/Gaslighting

-Superficial. Fake.

-No connection to their past.

-Huge ego/can't swallow pride

-Always playing the victim/never in the wrong/can't admit when they fuck up

-Shit doesn't add up/lies lies lies!

-Does anything to protect said lie

-Lives like a parasite/always using people

-Isolates you from your family and friends.

-SUPER dramatic

-No goals in life/not trying to reach them

-Immaturity (Didn't need to name that huh?)

-Always blaming someone else

-No guilt, shame, remorse, conscience

-All of their exes are somehow crazy or evil or something that makes the person look innocent

-Too charming (usually fake)

-Tries to play up good qualities so they seem like a catch

-Constantly bringing up exes and comparing you to them

-Degrading you, down talking you, making you feel horrible or worthless

-Treats you nicely in the beginning, then when their true colors show and you pull back, they put the fake niceness back on to pull you back

-Wants to spend 100% of their time with you, as if they don't have a life

-Demands to check your phone

-Demands changes of you that they themselves won't make

-Tries to manipulate you

-Gives you ultimatums

-Empty promises



Thats all I can think of rn. Hope you take heed.

The stuff in bold was what I experienced with a friend (this doesn't exclusively happen in relationships), although the 2nd point I experienced gaslighting in the reverse (telling you something happened/you did something bad when nothing happened and you did nothing).

There were red flags quite early on but I wasn't paying attention enough to cut and run early.

click to expand

Been there ?

Ended up getting abused while pregnant. Glad my son is okay. And glad you are too.

No one warns you of how dangerous these people really are ?

Posted by SPUNKYTAURUS
So I thought I would make a thread people can add to about relationship red flags since so many come here for advice and because they are following their hearts they seem blind or oblivious to the red flags... so let's go! NAME THEM ❤️

Double-Standards!

Controlling behavior of any kind!

Secretiveness!

Past infidelity is always big red flag for me. PRESENT infidelity is an even bigger sign.

All the shit you see the immature girls on this site cry about.

Posted by Aznnation

Posted by The_Ands
Works in Sales

+1

to add on being a good salesperson haha

click to expand

—?

Posted by Moby_Slick
red flag = ma gurl showing too much cleavage on some internet forum.

Welp. If she wasn't single then of course. Fortunately I am so I can do what I want...move along.

It's a definite red flag for a guy when he comes across a woman with no class ... for example: advertises her tits rather than her morals and values.



If he sees her walking around with a shirt exposing her tits ... that's a huge red flag for him to know that this chic has no decorum.

gossipy, gives TMI to everyone, excessive social media (but this could be a generational thing) or TMI on the social media, always has money problems, or some sort of problems.

Posted by OrGasMe

Posted by Lilianni
Planning a date and flaking or always making excuses

Yep! If they decide to do anything in life... They should decide to step-up.

click to expand

That should be a motto

- ALWAYS BRINGING UP THEIR EX, AND COMPARING THE BOTH OF YOU (Just dont get in that relationship for real)

- keep pictures of their exes!!

Posted by rabidtalker
always has some sort of problems.

Hmm, this one's debatable. 😛