LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts
Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35718 · Topics: 110
Seriously how do I make this work (Page 8)
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Posted by LadyNeptune
Op: I'm sorry, I disrespected you and didn't listen to you. I promise to take things at your speed and progress at a pace your comfortable with. Give me a chance to prove to you that I can change.
Also Op...: She has 1 month at most and if she doesn't fall in line, I walk away
You are setting him up for failure...He needs to walk away immediately. This is a lose-lose situation...
Posted by Easha23000usPosted by LadyNeptune
Op: I'm sorry, I disrespected you and didn't listen to you. I promise to take things at your speed and progress at a pace your comfortable with. Give me a chance to prove to you that I can change.
Also Op...: She has 1 month at most and if she doesn't fall in line, I walk away
You are setting him up for failure...He needs to walk away immediately. This is a lose-lose situation...click to expand
Lol I have exactly zero to do with this fuckery, don't put this shit show on my shoulders.
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by Easha23000usPosted by LadyNeptune
Op: I'm sorry, I disrespected you and didn't listen to you. I promise to take things at your speed and progress at a pace your comfortable with. Give me a chance to prove to you that I can change.
Also Op...: She has 1 month at most and if she doesn't fall in line, I walk away
You are setting him up for failure...He needs to walk away immediately. This is a lose-lose situation...
Lol I have exactly zero to do with this fuckery, don't put this shit show on my shoulders.click to expand
I am here for it today...Advising him to give it a month, when the love he has for her deepens upon every disappointment.
He needs to cut that butter short immediately!
Posted by Easha23000usPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by Easha23000usPosted by LadyNeptune
Op: I'm sorry, I disrespected you and didn't listen to you. I promise to take things at your speed and progress at a pace your comfortable with. Give me a chance to prove to you that I can change.
Also Op...: She has 1 month at most and if she doesn't fall in line, I walk away
You are setting him up for failure...He needs to walk away immediately. This is a lose-lose situation...
Lol I have exactly zero to do with this fuckery, don't put this shit show on my shoulders.
I am here for it today...Advising him to give it a month, when the love he has for her deepens upon every disappointment.
He needs to cut that butter short immediately!click to expand
We both know he won't walk away from this. His fragile ego would never.
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by Easha23000usPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by Easha23000usPosted by LadyNeptune
Op: I'm sorry, I disrespected you and didn't listen to you. I promise to take things at your speed and progress at a pace your comfortable with. Give me a chance to prove to you that I can change.
Also Op...: She has 1 month at most and if she doesn't fall in line, I walk away
You are setting him up for failure...He needs to walk away immediately. This is a lose-lose situation...
Lol I have exactly zero to do with this fuckery, don't put this shit show on my shoulders.
I am here for it today...Advising him to give it a month, when the love he has for her deepens upon every disappointment.
He needs to cut that butter short immediately!
We both know he won't walk away from this. His fragile ego would never.click to expand
I am trying to feel some sort of sympathy for him. But the way that he dismissed the mother of his children for this train wreck, makes me feels as if he gets what he deserves... We are all on this site giving him sound advice, only to have him go back for more mistreatment, and write to us stating that all is well now, he is seeing her later; fast forward three days later, he is back at square one. A waste of Sagittarian energy, if I must say....
Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by Easha23000us
Hate to break it to you buddy, but this Gemini woman might be your Karma...You have been warned.
What makes you think this 🤔.
You left your childrens mother for this woman.
I don't disagree with Easha, this is how karma works.
@blackphvse
I did now I am getting constant games its exsuting why is she acting in this way is she getting kicks out of it I do not understand.
She tells me she wants to rebuild how is that rebuilding.
No, she is not getting kicks out of it. That's not why she is doing it. She is jealous and possessive, she is trying to control you or the situation with your ex. And it's going to backfire on her. She isn't playing games, she's trying to gain control of the situation, but she is doing a very poor job of it.click to expand
To be honest, she is doing exactly what she was sent to do. Break up a family. She distanced him from the mother of his children, next, she will distance him from his kids, and have him right where she wants him...Then BAM, she will drop him like he never existed...
Posted by blackphvsePosted by Easha23000usPosted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by Easha23000us
Hate to break it to you buddy, but this Gemini woman might be your Karma...You have been warned.
What makes you think this 🤔.
You left your childrens mother for this woman.
I don't disagree with Easha, this is how karma works.
@blackphvse
I did now I am getting constant games its exsuting why is she acting in this way is she getting kicks out of it I do not understand.
She tells me she wants to rebuild how is that rebuilding.
No, she is not getting kicks out of it. That's not why she is doing it. She is jealous and possessive, she is trying to control you or the situation with your ex. And it's going to backfire on her. She isn't playing games, she's trying to gain control of the situation, but she is doing a very poor job of it.
To be honest, she is doing exactly what she was sent to do. Break up a family. She distanced him from the mother of his children, next, she will distance him from his kids, and have him right where she wants him...Then BAM, she will drop him like he never existed...
I can definitely see that happening. She's gonna drive a wedge between him and his children due to resenting their mother. I just hope he doesn't let her.click to expand
Unfortunately, he does not have the mental capacity to stop her..
Posted by blackphvse
You may love her, but how much does she love you if she is going to penalise your children due to her very open distaste for their mother? I really don't understand why she hates your ex so much.. Like bitch you've already successfully stolen the man, congrats, now chill the fkn out. Mission accomplished.. but it's still not enough for her....
I don't know, the way this dude presents their conversations always reads one way then you find out there is more to what was said and why, which suggest that there is more to this little soap opera and her hatred of the ex. Not siding with this Gem at all because that statement (if that what was stated in it's ENTIRETY ) is f*cked up. However he tends to loosely present the situation one way and when he reveal what was said prior to and after (only after a lot of digging), you get a different picture. Then members of DXP chime in with things he said in a previous thread and you get an even better picture.
The Gem may be crazy, possessive, etc, however that level of hate she has for this woman despite the fact that she has the man basically doing backflips when she just blinks the request, doesn't seem right.
At the end of the day no one can "steal" or take what is meant to be yours. Absolutely nothing. He and the ex were not a good fit for whatever reason at that present stage in their journey. He either lacked the love and patience she required and he needed to learn that (and may very well be learning that with the Gem lol), or she was too selfish to tend to her family when that needed to be done and now she's figuring that out too. Either way they broke up because they could be. Children or no children. If it wasn't the Gem it would have been someone else. Just sayin' before we drag the Gem through the coals... buck naked....
Personally I want to drag her for writing "there" instead of "their".
I agree..Maybe I am being a little too hard on him, because as a Sag woman myself, dealing with a Sag man, I feel a little jaded...But that still does not excuse his messy actions..
Posted by Easha23000us
I agree..Maybe I am being a little too hard on him...
Naw, you're not.
Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvse
In response to your DM:
"it's also about there is alot of kids and said I am struggling with bonding with your kids as I hate there mother"
That right there told me you should leave her. But I've been telling you that all along. Your kids come first, this lady doesn't sound like she even wants to try to form a bond with them and it's not even their fault. She has resentment against their mother and is using that as an excuse to not be close to your kids. That is not fair to your children. Dude I really think you can do better than what she is offering you. Don't you want someone who enjoys spending time with you AND your kids?
Your ex is the one who got played and she isn't acting like this. If anyone has a right to be acting jealous here it's your ex, not the Gemini. And look at how well your ex is handling this situation.. She's the one who got hurt in all this. Sounds to me like you left a strong woman for a weak insecure one. Maybe you should think about that. The Gemini literally stole you away from your childrens mother and now has the nerve to act like this? I honestly think she is a selfish brat.
I can understand the whole communication thing. As Geminis we like to have clear communication.. But you showed her the msgs, there is not much more you can do, you are trying and it just doesn't seem to be enough for her. I understand why you are confused and upset, I would be too. I remember telling you when you first started posting that unless your ex falls off the face of the earth, the Gemini is going to give you a hard time and be a headache. And obviously that hasn't changed, here we are months later and she is still punishing you for having an ex.. which is nothing you can control. She stole you from this woman, it almost sounds like she expected to also steal your kids and cut their mother out entirely and since that didn't happen she is punishing you. I don't know what the Gemini was expecting, but she knew what she was getting herself into and clearly can't hack it so she shouldn't have come in between you and your ex to begin with. She is selfish and you and your kids deserve more.
You will continue to do everything in your power to please her and it still won't be enough. You can already see that. You're gonna wear yourself out for nothing, cause she will leave eventually and it's no fault of yours. All she really wants is your ex out of the picture and that's NEVER gonna happen.. she seems to thinks she can force you into that though. But eventually she will realize that she can't force your ex out and she will just leave, so you will have put in all this effort and suffered this headache for nothing.
Very well said 👏 I have had enough all my family are telling me the same to ditch her she's no good she's skits.
I duno how to go about this with her. I love her and its so hard 😔.
You may love her, but how much does she love you if she is going to penalise your children due to her very open distaste for their mother? I really don't understand why she hates your ex so much.. Like bitch you've already successfully stolen the man, congrats, now chill the fkn out. Mission accomplished.. but it's still not enough for her. Your family is right, you should ditch her.
I once had a hard time leaving someone I thought that I loved. What made it easier was constantly reminding myself of all the terrible, hurtful things he had done to me. Start focusing more on the negatives and it will be easier to leave.click to expand
I have already started to think about all of it.
The communication stuff is bang out though because she told me to text my ex before it's too late and we was chatting away on the phone said good bye to eachother and I text her now I was working all day long and running around for her dismantling her playhouse in the garden and getting tea for us etc and because I didn't say anything to her right away she went mad I understand if I said no I didn't contact her and I lied but I never.
Also, I caught her lieing to me because I seen on her phone and she contacted her ex partners sister asking if the girls dad went to the nursery to pay for the nursery fees as the nursery rang my partner.
Now that was like 6 weeks ago and she didn't tell me until last week but all she said was someone came to my daughter nursery saying they are here to pay for the fees then she said she was told by the nursery it wasn't her daughter but another girl that has the same name as her daughter.
Anyway because I already knew before she told me I asked her did not contact your exs sister to ask there dad if it was him and she replied no and lied straight to my face and well my attitude changed right away and she noticed.
So I said to her stop giving me a fucking hard time on not communicating with you at least I didn't lie and she said oh I know what your getting at you know my Face b password and I said no I do not if you really want to know I looked on your phone and seen it and she said so you been on my phone I said yeah just like you have been on mine.
And she stopped her attitude right away and said I don't think I will come swimming I tried to talk to you but there is no talking to you sometimes I said don't give me that I asked you 2-3 times if you wanted to go swimming and you said yeah, you know I told you, your free to do whatever you like . She said well I'm going to go out with my friend and I said okay cool and then I asked how come anyway? And she said because everytime I see your kids I have a bad day because I feel like I am doing your ex a favour by having the kids etc so I went to work and she rang me and asked how I got on picking up my daughter I take to school every morning and I said yeah okay she asked if she is excited for swimming tomorrow and I said yes she is and she asked who was going and I said its just me you and your sisters and she said oh okay I though your partner would want to come 😔 and I said so did I but she is going out with her friend instead. Its fucking discusting.
Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by blackphvse
You may love her, but how much does she love you if she is going to penalise your children due to her very open distaste for their mother? I really don't understand why she hates your ex so much.. Like bitch you've already successfully stolen the man, congrats, now chill the fkn out. Mission accomplished.. but it's still not enough for her....
I don't know, the way this dude presents their conversations always reads one way then you find out there is more to what was said and why, which suggest that there is more to this little soap opera and her hatred of the ex. Not siding with this Gem at all because that statement (if that what was stated in it's ENTIRETY ) is f*cked up. However he tends to loosely present the situation one way and when he reveal what was said prior to and after (only after a lot of digging), you get a different picture. Then members of DXP chime in with things he said in a previous thread and you get an even better picture.
The Gem may be crazy, possessive, etc, however that level of hate she has for this woman despite the fact that she has the man basically doing backflips when she just blinks the request, doesn't seem right.
At the end of the day no one can "steal" or take what is meant to be yours. Absolutely nothing. He and the ex were not a good fit for whatever reason at that present stage in their journey. He either lacked the love and patience she required and he needed to learn that (and may very well be learning that with the Gem lol), or she was too selfish to tend to her family when that needed to be done and now she's figuring that out too. Either way they broke up because they could be. Children or no children. If it wasn't the Gem it would have been someone else. Just sayin' before we drag the Gem through the coals... buck naked....
Personally I want to drag her for writing "there" instead of "their".click to expand
This an alternative way to look at it...But, I have to stick to my opinion that she was definitely sent to him, to teach him a lesson from the universe... His karma.
Posted by Easha23000us
This an alternative way to look at it...But, I have to stick to my opinion that she was definitely sent to him, to teach him a lesson from the universe... His karma.
*like*
I don't disagree completely with you on that at all. However, I still don't think she "broke" up was was bonded and sealed by the Universe to be. I agree he has a sh*t load to learn and this is his big a** lesson, but perhaps the ex Sag deserves someone better for her life journey and him leaving was a blessing to her *shrug*. Maybe he was in the way. I know I can relate to that. I may not have liked how things ended with particular men in my life, but trust what came after was so much better. Just didn't know it at the time until I received someone better.
I get it, he's the father of her kids and we want to believe a family should stay in tact, but sometimes sadly people aren't ready for the roles they take on (or were placed on them). Being a solid partner to this ex Sag is one example. I mean really, you had to coach him as a Sag on how he could have helped her being a loving partner and mother....not saying we are the perfect match for our fellow signs, however if your own sign doesn't get you best, who the hell does?
Maybe he is meant to be with the Sag and they both need to grow the f*ck up to be real partners/lovers and friends to each other, and this moment right here is to help with that. Because the way it was presented (how they were when they were together), doesn't sound like that was it.
Or just maybe, he's suppose to get his a** emotionally whooped (aka karma) and he will bring what he learned (which frankly, I'm not seeing what he's learning given we are 31 pages deep here) to the next relationship, while the ex Sag moves on to hers.
His moon is going to make that process a lot harder though.
Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by Easha23000us
This an alternative way to look at it...But, I have to stick to my opinion that she was definitely sent to him, to teach him a lesson from the universe... His karma.
*like*
I don't disagree completely with you on that at all. However, I still don't think she "broke" up was was bonded and sealed by the Universe to be. I agree he has a sh*t load to learn and this is his big a** lesson, but perhaps the ex Sag deserves someone better for her life journey and him leaving was a blessing to her *shrug*. Maybe he was in the way. I know I can relate to that. I may not have liked how things ended with particular men in my life, but trust what came after was so much better. Just didn't know it at the time until I received someone better.
I get it, he's the father of her kids and we want to believe a family should stay in tact, but sometimes sadly people aren't ready for the roles they take on (or were placed on them). Being a solid partner to this ex Sag is one example. I mean really, you had to coach him as a Sag on how he could have helped her being a loving partner and mother....not saying we are the perfect match for our fellow signs, however if your own sign doesn't get you best, who the hell does?
Maybe he is meant to be with the Sag and they both need to grow the f*ck up to be real partners/lovers and friends to each other, and this moment right here is to help with that. Because the way it was presented (how they were when they were together), doesn't sound like that was it.
Or just maybe, he's suppose to get his a** emotionally whooped (aka karma) and he will bring what he learned (which frankly, I'm not seeing what he's learning given we are 31 pages deep here) to the next relationship, while the ex Sag moves on to hers.
His moon is going to make that process a lot harder though.click to expand
This relationship right here between me and gem has taught me a fuck load about who I use to be and how I use to treat my ex partner and I hate that person that I was now.
This has taught me that I have put my respect and my all into a person that does not deserve it yet I didn't do that to my ex.
This hasn't been a complete waste of time because I have learnt some big life lessons on who I should really be making effort for and I know deep down that my heart is telling me you no what is right and what is wrong and you have had to encounter this to wake the fuck up and now I see clearly I really do. It's a dam shame that I had to learn it this way because I am gutted the way I left and it was bang out even though my ex Sag has wanted me back for a while and I just ignored her and I feel terrible on her and my children I needed this wake up call I believe.
Posted by Centaur12
This relationship right here between me and gem has taught me a fuck load about who I use to be and how I use to treat my ex partner and I hate that person that I was now.
This has taught me that I have put my respect and my all into a person that does not deserve it yet I didn't do that to my ex.
This hasn't been a complete waste of time because I have learnt some big life lessons on who I should really be making effort for and I know deep down that my heart is telling me you no what is right and what is wrong and you have had to encounter this to wake the fuck up and now I see clearly I really do. It's a dam shame that I had to learn it this way because I am gutted the way I left and it was bang out even though my ex Sag has wanted me back for a while and I just ignored her and I feel terrible on her and my children I needed this wake up call I believe.
You hate the person that you "was" or "are" now? I'm guessing you're to blame for the poor grammar you're presenting as the Gem's statements 😉.
Eh, I don't think any life lesson is ever meant to be smooth. As long as no one has lost their life and you're not disfigured in the process, it's a small bump on the head to wake you up. The lesson "sticks" that way when it shakes you up to your core. Easy lessons we take for granted. So hopefully this will help you do "better" and be better for whomever you get involved with (or stay involved with).
At this point you need to figure out your next move. I know you're use to the mutable gang coaching you, I just think you need to really dig down and figure this out on your own now. Dude, you're 31 pages, 20 million threads later deep. I think you're good on the advice. At this point it has to come from you. What do you value in terms of relationships, family life? What do you want/envision for your future? What do you want for your future as a father to your beautiful children? What do you want for your children in terms of what type of environment they grow up in, how safe and loved they feel by ALL of the adults in their lives? How does this current situation (and elements of it clearly does not) align with your values? What can you truly compromise on and what are "hard passes" for you?
Not saying any of this^^^ to help you work this out with the Gem or go back to the Sag. Only to get you to figure that out so you can take the next steps that will bring you closer to what you truly want. Cause this ain't it Saggie. The next step may be to leave the Gem. It will be hard. From experience I know Gems are tricky folks to leave, however no one ever died from a broken heart, so you'll live. You're a Sag! I'm not saying that because I don't think Sag feel things very deeply. Quite the opposite actually. You are just great at bouncing back and taking life by the horns once you're ready to do just that. To clarify I stated the next step "may be" to leave the Gem because I'm not interested in telling you what to do. That clearly doesn't work lol.
Mutable folks are my favorite bunch btw even though I tease y'all and give you hard time. Your personal journey has been a hot mess, however I have learned a few things by reading this thread. I appreciate that you're not afraid to put yourself out there. You took quite a few lumps along the way 😆.
Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvse
In response to your DM:
"it's also about there is alot of kids and said I am struggling with bonding with your kids as I hate there mother"
That right there told me you should leave her. But I've been telling you that all along. Your kids come first, this lady doesn't sound like she even wants to try to form a bond with them and it's not even their fault. She has resentment against their mother and is using that as an excuse to not be close to your kids. That is not fair to your children. Dude I really think you can do better than what she is offering you. Don't you want someone who enjoys spending time with you AND your kids?
Your ex is the one who got played and she isn't acting like this. If anyone has a right to be acting jealous here it's your ex, not the Gemini. And look at how well your ex is handling this situation.. She's the one who got hurt in all this. Sounds to me like you left a strong woman for a weak insecure one. Maybe you should think about that. The Gemini literally stole you away from your childrens mother and now has the nerve to act like this? I honestly think she is a selfish brat.
I can understand the whole communication thing. As Geminis we like to have clear communication.. But you showed her the msgs, there is not much more you can do, you are trying and it just doesn't seem to be enough for her. I understand why you are confused and upset, I would be too. I remember telling you when you first started posting that unless your ex falls off the face of the earth, the Gemini is going to give you a hard time and be a headache. And obviously that hasn't changed, here we are months later and she is still punishing you for having an ex.. which is nothing you can control. She stole you from this woman, it almost sounds like she expected to also steal your kids and cut their mother out entirely and since that didn't happen she is punishing you. I don't know what the Gemini was expecting, but she knew what she was getting herself into and clearly can't hack it so she shouldn't have come in between you and your ex to begin with. She is selfish and you and your kids deserve more.
You will continue to do everything in your power to please her and it still won't be enough. You can already see that. You're gonna wear yourself out for nothing, cause she will leave eventually and it's no fault of yours. All she really wants is your ex out of the picture and that's NEVER gonna happen.. she seems to thinks she can force you into that though. But eventually she will realize that she can't force your ex out and she will just leave, so you will have put in all this effort and suffered this headache for nothing.
Very well said 👏 I have had enough all my family are telling me the same to ditch her she's no good she's skits.
I duno how to go about this with her. I love her and its so hard 😔.
You may love her, but how much does she love you if she is going to penalise your children due to her very open distaste for their mother? I really don't understand why she hates your ex so much.. Like bitch you've already successfully stolen the man, congrats, now chill the fkn out. Mission accomplished.. but it's still not enough for her. Your family is right, you should ditch her.
I once had a hard time leaving someone I thought that I loved. What made it easier was constantly reminding myself of all the terrible, hurtful things he had done to me. Start focusing more on the negatives and it will be easier to leave.click to expand
I don't think we are going to last 12 hours if I am completely honest.
She saying how she's looking at everyone else getting on with there life yet she's just stuck in hers and she can't see us living together because she basically doesn't want my kids there because she hates my ex and they remind her of them yet she can't move past past and won't. also when asked if she loves me her answer was I love you and I don't I wish things was different and it's great when it is just us and you are here with me .
So basically drop my kids and my family and we will be fine together 😅.
Posted by Centaur12Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by Easha23000us
This an alternative way to look at it...But, I have to stick to my opinion that she was definitely sent to him, to teach him a lesson from the universe... His karma.
*like*
I don't disagree completely with you on that at all. However, I still don't think she "broke" up was was bonded and sealed by the Universe to be. I agree he has a sh*t load to learn and this is his big a** lesson, but perhaps the ex Sag deserves someone better for her life journey and him leaving was a blessing to her *shrug*. Maybe he was in the way. I know I can relate to that. I may not have liked how things ended with particular men in my life, but trust what came after was so much better. Just didn't know it at the time until I received someone better.
I get it, he's the father of her kids and we want to believe a family should stay in tact, but sometimes sadly people aren't ready for the roles they take on (or were placed on them). Being a solid partner to this ex Sag is one example. I mean really, you had to coach him as a Sag on how he could have helped her being a loving partner and mother....not saying we are the perfect match for our fellow signs, however if your own sign doesn't get you best, who the hell does?
Maybe he is meant to be with the Sag and they both need to grow the f*ck up to be real partners/lovers and friends to each other, and this moment right here is to help with that. Because the way it was presented (how they were when they were together), doesn't sound like that was it.
Or just maybe, he's suppose to get his a** emotionally whooped (aka karma) and he will bring what he learned (which frankly, I'm not seeing what he's learning given we are 31 pages deep here) to the next relationship, while the ex Sag moves on to hers.
His moon is going to make that process a lot harder though.
This relationship right here between me and gem has taught me a fuck load about who I use to be and how I use to treat my ex partner and I hate that person that I was now.
This has taught me that I have put my respect and my all into a person that does not deserve it yet I didn't do that to my ex.
This hasn't been a complete waste of time because I have learnt some big life lessons on who I should really be making effort for and I know deep down that my heart is telling me you no what is right and what is wrong and you have had to encounter this to wake the fuck up and now I see clearly I really do. It's a dam shame that I had to learn it this way because I am gutted the way I left and it was bang out even though my ex Sag has wanted me back for a while and I just ignored her and I feel terrible on her and my children I needed this wake up call I believe.click to expand
I commend you for opening up your eves...Sometimes it takes something like this to wake us up to what's really important. If there is still love there for you and your ex Sag, then make things right. Your children deserves to see you two stick it out through whatever situation. Good luck, and God bless.
Posted by Easha23000usPosted by Centaur12Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by Easha23000us
This an alternative way to look at it...But, I have to stick to my opinion that she was definitely sent to him, to teach him a lesson from the universe... His karma.
*like*
I don't disagree completely with you on that at all. However, I still don't think she "broke" up was was bonded and sealed by the Universe to be. I agree he has a sh*t load to learn and this is his big a** lesson, but perhaps the ex Sag deserves someone better for her life journey and him leaving was a blessing to her *shrug*. Maybe he was in the way. I know I can relate to that. I may not have liked how things ended with particular men in my life, but trust what came after was so much better. Just didn't know it at the time until I received someone better.
I get it, he's the father of her kids and we want to believe a family should stay in tact, but sometimes sadly people aren't ready for the roles they take on (or were placed on them). Being a solid partner to this ex Sag is one example. I mean really, you had to coach him as a Sag on how he could have helped her being a loving partner and mother....not saying we are the perfect match for our fellow signs, however if your own sign doesn't get you best, who the hell does?
Maybe he is meant to be with the Sag and they both need to grow the f*ck up to be real partners/lovers and friends to each other, and this moment right here is to help with that. Because the way it was presented (how they were when they were together), doesn't sound like that was it.
Or just maybe, he's suppose to get his a** emotionally whooped (aka karma) and he will bring what he learned (which frankly, I'm not seeing what he's learning given we are 31 pages deep here) to the next relationship, while the ex Sag moves on to hers.
His moon is going to make that process a lot harder though.
This relationship right here between me and gem has taught me a fuck load about who I use to be and how I use to treat my ex partner and I hate that person that I was now.
This has taught me that I have put my respect and my all into a person that does not deserve it yet I didn't do that to my ex.
This hasn't been a complete waste of time because I have learnt some big life lessons on who I should really be making effort for and I know deep down that my heart is telling me you no what is right and what is wrong and you have had to encounter this to wake the fuck up and now I see clearly I really do. It's a dam shame that I had to learn it this way because I am gutted the way I left and it was bang out even though my ex Sag has wanted me back for a while and I just ignored her and I feel terrible on her and my children I needed this wake up call I believe.
I commend you for opening up your eves...Sometimes it takes something like this to wake us up to what's really important. If there is still love there for you and your ex Sag, then make things right. Your children deserves to see you two stick it out through whatever situation. Good luck, and God bless.click to expand
@Easha23000us Thank you I duno what the next move is me and gem have come to an end by the looks of it she is unfair and can't see her wrongs at all she will never make a relationship work if she cannot identify her own problems and work on them.
Oh well....
In regards to the ex I am not going to run back into her life I respect the fact she has made a new life for her self not with another man but by herself
We still are laughing joking and feelings are there when we see eachother that has never gone away.
Like I said what ever happens happens and it's a dam shame gem couldn't listen to me and chill the fuck out because apart from.this shit behaviour she is amazing all round what a shame.
She’s amazing all round—
How so? The only good I’ve heard you say about her is, she’s hot and good in bed and you have chemistry.
In fact you’ve praised your ex wife more.
How so? The only good I’ve heard you say about her is, she’s hot and good in bed and you have chemistry.
In fact you’ve praised your ex wife more.
Posted by sweethearts
She’s amazing all round—
How so? The only good I’ve heard you say about her is, she’s hot and good in bed and you have chemistry.
In fact you’ve praised your ex wife more.
Thats because I have aloud her to put the blind folds on me.
My ex really is a decent person who had a few issues and needed to sort alot out between us.
In order for gem to be in a good relationship she needs someone who will do as there told when she asks for it and be a single guy with no children and any ties at all becuse she cannot look past stuff because of her controlling behaviour I was attracted to her because I thought she was a good person who would respect me and give me the same level of respect but she does not.
Your right I have said she is hot and sex it great etc but it is not right she will never be happy she just can't sit and think about her partners feeling or her wrong doings.
I am supposed to be meeting her this morning to help move her playhouse into the persons who brought it van lol.
She was suppose to be coming swimming with me and my girls today even after saying she didn't want to and then went back on her word.
Non of that is going to happen today she can fuck off.
I will take my girls out on my own and we will have a great day together.
Posted by Centaur12Posted by sweethearts
She’s amazing all round—
How so? The only good I’ve heard you say about her is, she’s hot and good in bed and you have chemistry.
In fact you’ve praised your ex wife more.
Thats because I have aloud her to put the blind folds on me.
My ex really is a decent person who had a few issues and needed to sort alot out between us.
In order for gem to be in a good relationship she needs someone who will do as there told when she asks for it and be a single guy with no children and any ties at all becuse she cannot look past stuff because of her controlling behaviour I was attracted to her because I thought she was a good person who would respect me and give me the same level of respect but she does not.
Your right I have said she is hot and sex it great etc but it is not right she will never be happy she just can't sit and think about her partners feeling or her wrong doings.
I am supposed to be meeting her this morning to help move her playhouse into the persons who brought it van lol.
She was suppose to be coming swimming with me and my girls today even after saying she didn't want to and then went back on her word.
Non of that is going to happen today she can fuck off.
I will take my girls out on my own and we will have a great day together.click to expand
That is the spirit..Keep doing things to take your mind off of her.She would be history in no time...We are all rooting for you here..
Posted by Centaur12
How can I get my Gem back on my side we are going through a real rough patch.
Some of it is my fault i will hold my hands up.
She says she's fed up of the same shit happening between us me going on a nagging when I feel like I am just trying to make points on things.
However it's got to the point where we are both at rock bottom hardly any intamency and she even said with me going on the way I do she doesn't even want to kiss me anymore.
But she has forgotten everything she's done I am stuck in a rut and I just want us back happy but everytime I try and I ask for emotion she brushes me off and tells me I'm nagging again.
Just need help I am struggling to get us back and get out of this state I am in .
Let it go
Posted by Easha23000usPosted by Centaur12Posted by sweethearts
She’s amazing all round—
How so? The only good I’ve heard you say about her is, she’s hot and good in bed and you have chemistry.
In fact you’ve praised your ex wife more.
Thats because I have aloud her to put the blind folds on me.
My ex really is a decent person who had a few issues and needed to sort alot out between us.
In order for gem to be in a good relationship she needs someone who will do as there told when she asks for it and be a single guy with no children and any ties at all becuse she cannot look past stuff because of her controlling behaviour I was attracted to her because I thought she was a good person who would respect me and give me the same level of respect but she does not.
Your right I have said she is hot and sex it great etc but it is not right she will never be happy she just can't sit and think about her partners feeling or her wrong doings.
I am supposed to be meeting her this morning to help move her playhouse into the persons who brought it van lol.
She was suppose to be coming swimming with me and my girls today even after saying she didn't want to and then went back on her word.
Non of that is going to happen today she can fuck off.
I will take my girls out on my own and we will have a great day together.
That is the spirit..Keep doing things to take your mind off of her.She would be history in no time...We are all rooting for you here..click to expand
Having a few drinks we haven't spoken at all. So I am leaving it like I said I am fed up with everything and we are done here no more working at us.
Here's an update I have ghosted gem and she de friended me on Facebook because I updated my profile picture of just myself and not me and her I have shifted my energy away from her and onto my self and she said I can't be on your Facebook while you flaunt yourself she said I am going to find it hard the next few weeks.
Anyway long story short I have woken up to her texting me this morning all opplogetic towards me saying she is going to work on her self and that she wants me and saying she understand about the kids and she said do I want to stay with her at hers with my kids etc. I have told her I don't think it's a good idea right now and that we need space in order to sort anything.
Anyway long story short I have woken up to her texting me this morning all opplogetic towards me saying she is going to work on her self and that she wants me and saying she understand about the kids and she said do I want to stay with her at hers with my kids etc. I have told her I don't think it's a good idea right now and that we need space in order to sort anything.
Posted by Centaur12
Here's an update I have ghosted gem and she de friended me on Facebook because I updated my profile picture of just myself and not me and her I have shifted my energy away from her and onto my self and she said I can't be on your Facebook while you flaunt yourself she said I am going to find it hard the next few weeks.
Anyway long story short I have woken up to her texting me this morning all opplogetic towards me saying she is going to work on her self and that she wants me and saying she understand about the kids and she said do I want to stay with her at hers with my kids etc. I have told her I don't think it's a good idea right now and that we need space in order to sort anything.
You will be back in her arms in no time......SMH!
Posted by SagoxaPosted by Centaur12
Here's an update I have ghosted gem and she de friended me on Facebook because I updated my profile picture of just myself and not me and her I have shifted my energy away from her and onto my self and she said I can't be on your Facebook while you flaunt yourself she said I am going to find it hard the next few weeks.
Anyway long story short I have woken up to her texting me this morning all opplogetic towards me saying she is going to work on her self and that she wants me and saying she understand about the kids and she said do I want to stay with her at hers with my kids etc. I have told her I don't think it's a good idea right now and that we need space in order to sort anything.
Took longer than I expected but great job.
Trust me, once you enjoy your new life and how positive and less stressful it is, there is no way you would want to go back..click to expand
I feel exhausted from the whole relationship there is no fairness in it at all I do love her but I am not going to be treated this way anymore she has asked me to meet her she is saying she will change and she knows what to do she has told me she is determined and that she understands that she is going to bon with my kids and have them at hers sometimes and build something like I do with hers apparently we will see 😉 thing is some of us once we pull our energy away its hard to get back to that I am like that now because I am fed up.
Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12
Here's an update I have ghosted gem and she de friended me on Facebook because I updated my profile picture of just myself and not me and her I have shifted my energy away from her and onto my self and she said I can't be on your Facebook while you flaunt yourself she said I am going to find it hard the next few weeks.
Anyway long story short I have woken up to her texting me this morning all opplogetic towards me saying she is going to work on her self and that she wants me and saying she understand about the kids and she said do I want to stay with her at hers with my kids etc. I have told her I don't think it's a good idea right now and that we need space in order to sort anything.
Stick to your guns and keep her at arms length. If she msgs you, don't be all over responding. Keep distance.click to expand
I am doing just that she wanted to meet me and I have just cancelled last minuet on her going to do some decorating at my place instead.
Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12
Here's an update I have ghosted gem and she de friended me on Facebook because I updated my profile picture of just myself and not me and her I have shifted my energy away from her and onto my self and she said I can't be on your Facebook while you flaunt yourself she said I am going to find it hard the next few weeks.
Anyway long story short I have woken up to her texting me this morning all opplogetic towards me saying she is going to work on her self and that she wants me and saying she understand about the kids and she said do I want to stay with her at hers with my kids etc. I have told her I don't think it's a good idea right now and that we need space in order to sort anything.
Stick to your guns and keep her at arms length. If she msgs you, don't be all over responding. Keep distance.
I am doing just that she wanted to meet me and I have just cancelled last minuet on her going to do some decorating at my place instead.
Cancelling on her last minute is just going to seem like games. You obviously agreed to meet her originally, that's not keeping her at arms length. If you don't wanna meet up, tell her that, don't say you're gonna then bail. That's just creating more of a mess.click to expand
If he were truly serious about being done with her, he would not respond to her at all...Her texting him, and he responding, is her way of keeping tabs on him.
Posted by SagoxaPosted by Centaur12Posted by SagoxaPosted by Centaur12
Here's an update I have ghosted gem and she de friended me on Facebook because I updated my profile picture of just myself and not me and her I have shifted my energy away from her and onto my self and she said I can't be on your Facebook while you flaunt yourself she said I am going to find it hard the next few weeks.
Anyway long story short I have woken up to her texting me this morning all opplogetic towards me saying she is going to work on her self and that she wants me and saying she understand about the kids and she said do I want to stay with her at hers with my kids etc. I have told her I don't think it's a good idea right now and that we need space in order to sort anything.
Took longer than I expected but great job.
Trust me, once you enjoy your new life and how positive and less stressful it is, there is no way you would want to go back..
I feel exhausted from the whole relationship there is no fairness in it at all I do love her but I am not going to be treated this way anymore she has asked me to meet her she is saying she will change and she knows what to do she has told me she is determined and that she understands that she is going to bon with my kids and have them at hers sometimes and build something like I do with hers apparently we will see 😉 thing is some of us once we pull our energy away its hard to get back to that I am like that now because I am fed up.
Dont you think it's too soon? She probably said all those stuff so you wont leave her because shes not ready.. to draw you back in again until she controls you again, then she starts her toxic and selfish behaviour again.. rinse and repeatclick to expand
Yeah it does seem like that I have had her on the phone crying to me etc saying she will change and all this but I am so fed up that I will take it day by day soon as I see the controlling behaviour from her I will block her on everything and leave as it shows me she has broken the deal.
She wants to see me told me she isn't going to ask me about my ex and be controlling and also be happy again and wants to sort us well like I said I will see what happens.
Posted by blackphvsePosted by Easha23000usPosted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12
Here's an update I have ghosted gem and she de friended me on Facebook because I updated my profile picture of just myself and not me and her I have shifted my energy away from her and onto my self and she said I can't be on your Facebook while you flaunt yourself she said I am going to find it hard the next few weeks.
Anyway long story short I have woken up to her texting me this morning all opplogetic towards me saying she is going to work on her self and that she wants me and saying she understand about the kids and she said do I want to stay with her at hers with my kids etc. I have told her I don't think it's a good idea right now and that we need space in order to sort anything.
Stick to your guns and keep her at arms length. If she msgs you, don't be all over responding. Keep distance.
I am doing just that she wanted to meet me and I have just cancelled last minuet on her going to do some decorating at my place instead.
Cancelling on her last minute is just going to seem like games. You obviously agreed to meet her originally, that's not keeping her at arms length. If you don't wanna meet up, tell her that, don't say you're gonna then bail. That's just creating more of a mess.
If he were truly serious about being done with her, he would not respond to her at all...Her texting him, and he responding, is her way of keeping tabs on him.
Agreed. He is saying one thing but doing another. Saying he wants space, but still making plans with her. That's not gonna work.click to expand
I have told her I want space but she is being persistent in wanting to see me and is saying to me everytime I have done wrong to her she never stayed away from me so she is being manipulative.
Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Easha23000usPosted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12
Here's an update I have ghosted gem and she de friended me on Facebook because I updated my profile picture of just myself and not me and her I have shifted my energy away from her and onto my self and she said I can't be on your Facebook while you flaunt yourself she said I am going to find it hard the next few weeks.
Anyway long story short I have woken up to her texting me this morning all opplogetic towards me saying she is going to work on her self and that she wants me and saying she understand about the kids and she said do I want to stay with her at hers with my kids etc. I have told her I don't think it's a good idea right now and that we need space in order to sort anything.
Stick to your guns and keep her at arms length. If she msgs you, don't be all over responding. Keep distance.
I am doing just that she wanted to meet me and I have just cancelled last minuet on her going to do some decorating at my place instead.
Cancelling on her last minute is just going to seem like games. You obviously agreed to meet her originally, that's not keeping her at arms length. If you don't wanna meet up, tell her that, don't say you're gonna then bail. That's just creating more of a mess.
If he were truly serious about being done with her, he would not respond to her at all...Her texting him, and he responding, is her way of keeping tabs on him.
Agreed. He is saying one thing but doing another. Saying he wants space, but still making plans with her. That's not gonna work.
I have told her I want space but she is being persistent in wanting to see me and is saying to me everytime I have done wrong to her she never stayed away from me so she is being manipulative.
You're right, she is being manipulative, so why are you still feeding it? She can't manipulate someone who has withdrawn from her. We've been telling you the same thing over and over for months and nothing is has changed in your relationship or in how you approach it. Simply taking space won't resolve the issue either.. do you think she is going to miraculously change how she feels about your kids or stop trying to manipulate you just because you take some space? She is still trying to manipulate you and telling you that you are doing something wrong when you try to focus on yourself. No matter how much time you take, she is going to be the same person when you return. We've been telling you to leave her for months, if you're not going to then please stop posting your drama here cause you're just beating a dead horse. We've exhausted ourselves with solutions for you, but you're still feeding her childish bs, so there is nothing more we can help you with, the rest is on you.click to expand
🙆♂️🤦♂️ I know your right as well all I am going to do is see if she can change if I smell one bit of bullshit I am off I kind of know she has already shown me it by being persitent at seeing me and when told I want space she uses manipulation.
Posted by Centaur12
Here's an update I have ghosted gem and she de friended me on Facebook because I updated my profile picture of just myself and not me and her I have shifted my energy away from her and onto my self and she said I can't be on your Facebook while you flaunt yourself she said I am going to find it hard the next few weeks.
Anyway long story short I have woken up to her texting me this morning all opplogetic towards me saying she is going to work on her self and that she wants me and saying she understand about the kids and she said do I want to stay with her at hers with my kids etc. I have told her I don't think it's a good idea right now and that we need space in order to sort anything.
Is there a reason you felt the need to ghost someone you are/were in a relationship with, then add all that extra passive aggressive bullsh*t on FB, oppose to simply having a mature convo and say "this isn't working anymore. We're done/it's over" so you could move on knowing you handled it on a high note?
Hmph. Whether you realize it or not all you're doing is repeating the same behaviour that you did to the Sag. You can try justify it by saying you are fed up and upset with how the Gem is treating you, however you still need to own how you carry yourself regardless of the reasons why.
Character speaks for itself.
Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by Centaur12
Here's an update I have ghosted gem and she de friended me on Facebook because I updated my profile picture of just myself and not me and her I have shifted my energy away from her and onto my self and she said I can't be on your Facebook while you flaunt yourself she said I am going to find it hard the next few weeks.
Anyway long story short I have woken up to her texting me this morning all opplogetic towards me saying she is going to work on her self and that she wants me and saying she understand about the kids and she said do I want to stay with her at hers with my kids etc. I have told her I don't think it's a good idea right now and that we need space in order to sort anything.
Is there a reason you felt the need to ghost someone you are/were in a relationship with, then add all that extra passive aggressive bullsh*t on FB, oppose to simply having a mature convo and say "this isn't working anymore. We're done/it's over" so you could move on knowing you handled it on a high note?
Hmph. Whether you realize it or not all you're doing is repeating the same behaviour that you did to the Sag. You can try justify it by saying you are fed up and upset with how the Gem is treating you, however you still need to own how you carry yourself regardless of the reasons why.
Character speaks for itself.click to expand
it all goes back to neither of them knowing how to communicate. they hit the power struggle stage of the relationship and without dealing with that constructively and powering through positively you get this.
there is no point. both are doomed to repeat the same mistakes with the next partner.
Posted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Easha23000usPosted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12
Here's an update I have ghosted gem and she de friended me on Facebook because I updated my profile picture of just myself and not me and her I have shifted my energy away from her and onto my self and she said I can't be on your Facebook while you flaunt yourself she said I am going to find it hard the next few weeks.
Anyway long story short I have woken up to her texting me this morning all opplogetic towards me saying she is going to work on her self and that she wants me and saying she understand about the kids and she said do I want to stay with her at hers with my kids etc. I have told her I don't think it's a good idea right now and that we need space in order to sort anything.
Stick to your guns and keep her at arms length. If she msgs you, don't be all over responding. Keep distance.
I am doing just that she wanted to meet me and I have just cancelled last minuet on her going to do some decorating at my place instead.
Cancelling on her last minute is just going to seem like games. You obviously agreed to meet her originally, that's not keeping her at arms length. If you don't wanna meet up, tell her that, don't say you're gonna then bail. That's just creating more of a mess.
If he were truly serious about being done with her, he would not respond to her at all...Her texting him, and he responding, is her way of keeping tabs on him.
Agreed. He is saying one thing but doing another. Saying he wants space, but still making plans with her. That's not gonna work.
I have told her I want space but she is being persistent in wanting to see me and is saying to me everytime I have done wrong to her she never stayed away from me so she is being manipulative.
You're right, she is being manipulative, so why are you still feeding it? She can't manipulate someone who has withdrawn from her. We've been telling you the same thing over and over for months and nothing is has changed in your relationship or in how you approach it. Simply taking space won't resolve the issue either.. do you think she is going to miraculously change how she feels about your kids or stop trying to manipulate you just because you take some space? She is still trying to manipulate you and telling you that you are doing something wrong when you try to focus on yourself. No matter how much time you take, she is going to be the same person when you return. We've been telling you to leave her for months, if you're not going to then please stop posting your drama here cause you're just beating a dead horse. We've exhausted ourselves with solutions for you, but you're still feeding her childish bs, so there is nothing more we can help you with, the rest is on you.
🙆♂️🤦♂️ I know your right as well all I am going to do is see if she can change if I smell one bit of bullshit I am off I kind of know she has already shown me it by being persitent at seeing me and when told I want space she uses manipulation.click to expand
And yet again, you stay in the cycle of this relationship... 🤦🏼♀️🤷♀️It will never change
Posted by jeanePosted by PhoenixRisingPosted by Centaur12
Here's an update I have ghosted gem and she de friended me on Facebook because I updated my profile picture of just myself and not me and her I have shifted my energy away from her and onto my self and she said I can't be on your Facebook while you flaunt yourself she said I am going to find it hard the next few weeks.
Anyway long story short I have woken up to her texting me this morning all opplogetic towards me saying she is going to work on her self and that she wants me and saying she understand about the kids and she said do I want to stay with her at hers with my kids etc. I have told her I don't think it's a good idea right now and that we need space in order to sort anything.
Is there a reason you felt the need to ghost someone you are/were in a relationship with, then add all that extra passive aggressive bullsh*t on FB, oppose to simply having a mature convo and say "this isn't working anymore. We're done/it's over" so you could move on knowing you handled it on a high note?
Hmph. Whether you realize it or not all you're doing is repeating the same behaviour that you did to the Sag. You can try justify it by saying you are fed up and upset with how the Gem is treating you, however you still need to own how you carry yourself regardless of the reasons why.
Character speaks for itself.
it all goes back to neither of them knowing how to communicate. they hit the power struggle stage of the relationship and without dealing with that constructively and powering through positively you get this.
there is no point. both are doomed to repeat the same mistakes with the next partner.click to expand
I struggle with communication @jeane any advice on something to read up on this topic?
Posted by thatlibralifePosted by sweetheartsPosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Easha23000usPosted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12
Here's an update I have ghosted gem and she de friended me on Facebook because I updated my profile picture of just myself and not me and her I have shifted my energy away from her and onto my self and she said I can't be on your Facebook while you flaunt yourself she said I am going to find it hard the next few weeks.
Anyway long story short I have woken up to her texting me this morning all opplogetic towards me saying she is going to work on her self and that she wants me and saying she understand about the kids and she said do I want to stay with her at hers with my kids etc. I have told her I don't think it's a good idea right now and that we need space in order to sort anything.
Stick to your guns and keep her at arms length. If she msgs you, don't be all over responding. Keep distance.
I am doing just that she wanted to meet me and I have just cancelled last minuet on her going to do some decorating at my place instead.
Cancelling on her last minute is just going to seem like games. You obviously agreed to meet her originally, that's not keeping her at arms length. If you don't wanna meet up, tell her that, don't say you're gonna then bail. That's just creating more of a mess.
If he were truly serious about being done with her, he would not respond to her at all...Her texting him, and he responding, is her way of keeping tabs on him.
Agreed. He is saying one thing but doing another. Saying he wants space, but still making plans with her. That's not gonna work.
I have told her I want space but she is being persistent in wanting to see me and is saying to me everytime I have done wrong to her she never stayed away from me so she is being manipulative.
You're right, she is being manipulative, so why are you still feeding it? She can't manipulate someone who has withdrawn from her. We've been telling you the same thing over and over for months and nothing is has changed in your relationship or in how you approach it. Simply taking space won't resolve the issue either.. do you think she is going to miraculously change how she feels about your kids or stop trying to manipulate you just because you take some space? She is still trying to manipulate you and telling you that you are doing something wrong when you try to focus on yourself. No matter how much time you take, she is going to be the same person when you return. We've been telling you to leave her for months, if you're not going to then please stop posting your drama here cause you're just beating a dead horse. We've exhausted ourselves with solutions for you, but you're still feeding her childish bs, so there is nothing more we can help you with, the rest is on you.
🙆♂️🤦♂️ I know your right as well all I am going to do is see if she can change if I smell one bit of bullshit I am off I kind of know she has already shown me it by being persitent at seeing me and when told I want space she uses manipulation.
And yet again, you stay in the cycle of this relationship... 🤦🏼♀️🤷♀️It will never change
Exactly. I don’t know why people keep responding to this thread. None of the advice has been taken. It’s “Groundhog Day” with him and her...they both like the toxicity of the relationship otherwise it would have gone kaput a very long time ago....click to expand
It started toxic with him cheating, it’s going to end similarly if karma plays out.
Posted by sweetheartsPosted by jeanePosted by PhoenixRisingPosted by Centaur12
Here's an update I have ghosted gem and she de friended me on Facebook because I updated my profile picture of just myself and not me and her I have shifted my energy away from her and onto my self and she said I can't be on your Facebook while you flaunt yourself she said I am going to find it hard the next few weeks.
Anyway long story short I have woken up to her texting me this morning all opplogetic towards me saying she is going to work on her self and that she wants me and saying she understand about the kids and she said do I want to stay with her at hers with my kids etc. I have told her I don't think it's a good idea right now and that we need space in order to sort anything.
Is there a reason you felt the need to ghost someone you are/were in a relationship with, then add all that extra passive aggressive bullsh*t on FB, oppose to simply having a mature convo and say "this isn't working anymore. We're done/it's over" so you could move on knowing you handled it on a high note?
Hmph. Whether you realize it or not all you're doing is repeating the same behaviour that you did to the Sag. You can try justify it by saying you are fed up and upset with how the Gem is treating you, however you still need to own how you carry yourself regardless of the reasons why.
Character speaks for itself.
it all goes back to neither of them knowing how to communicate. they hit the power struggle stage of the relationship and without dealing with that constructively and powering through positively you get this.
there is no point. both are doomed to repeat the same mistakes with the next partner.
I struggle with communication @jeane any advice on something to read up on this topic?click to expand
i'm not going to say i'm an expert on this because i'm not. i still struggle with it. i think half the battle is recognising it to be a weakness and then resolving to not make the same mistakes twice (or at least try not to).
i have read a fuckton about various relationship issues because i didn't want to send this one into the ditch
so i recommend listening to or reading john gottman who i believed helped me the most. for me, i find his stuff invaluable.
then i have a golden rule (totally stolen) seek first to understand, then be understood.
https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/the-7-habits-seek-first-to-understand-then-to-be-understood/
in fact i would encourage everyone to read stephen covey's 7 habits of highly effective people i read that as a teenager and it still informs me to this day. it's not a relationship book but it can be applied.
lastly, i hold this dear https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/turning-point/201602/the-7-laws-lasting-love?
especially number 4
Just want to say thanks for all your advise I know thus tread has been a pain in the ass for you all and believe I haven't enjoyed coming here to rant and ask for advice.
I would much rather of had a normal relationship so I didn't feel like I had to reach out every 5 mins.
But thank you to you all I appreciate it 🙏.
Partner Gem has recently been on the phone crying to me saying she's sorry and also, in person I seen her and she has done the same saying she is going to change and I told her I am keeping the kids out of it for now and it upset her but I said its not fair on them right now.
So far she has been happy and chatty and full of life towards me.
She has asked me on a few occasions if I am okay as I don't sound happy maybe it's because of the bullshit I have had to put up with for a while from her I duno.
She has text me to say I really love you.
But I am not investing my emotions into her as it could be another way of her showing all her love then back to her ways and soon as I smell a hint of bullshit I'm outta here.
I would much rather of had a normal relationship so I didn't feel like I had to reach out every 5 mins.
But thank you to you all I appreciate it 🙏.
Partner Gem has recently been on the phone crying to me saying she's sorry and also, in person I seen her and she has done the same saying she is going to change and I told her I am keeping the kids out of it for now and it upset her but I said its not fair on them right now.
So far she has been happy and chatty and full of life towards me.
She has asked me on a few occasions if I am okay as I don't sound happy maybe it's because of the bullshit I have had to put up with for a while from her I duno.
She has text me to say I really love you.
But I am not investing my emotions into her as it could be another way of her showing all her love then back to her ways and soon as I smell a hint of bullshit I'm outta here.
So I slowed right down on contact with her over the past days and wasn't answering her calls when we wasn't talking much.
And then when she was crying saying sorry to me on the phone the other day and then crying to me in person saying she is changing right now and to take things slow at your pace. She is on the phone and I can here her trying and sounding happy and buzzing now the table has filpped she wasn't taking me seriously in the beginning and didn't want to listen to me on how I felt for her and us etc and now I directed my energy elsewhere mainly on myself and kids and changed my profile picture she now wants to make a massive effort towards us, am I dating two different people how can she one minuet be this really unhappy person who has all these problems with us and things associated with us and now be all happy again like nothing happend and she's saying to me I don't think your as interested anymore or sound that happy I guess things take time etc and then realising that I have pulled away and she's now directing all her energy and love towards me but I'm holding back because I am not sure on her intentions this time isit because she I genuinely sorry and upset because we practically broke up and I showed that I am not taking anymore of her rubbish and she has realised she needs to adjust and change or isit to win me back over so she can pull this rubbish all over again but like I said I aint gonna invest to much emotions or time into us as I use to because I just get hurt and if I smell any of that then that's it done. I just feel exhausted and fed up so much that I don't have the fight in me anymore if that make sense. It's not that I don't love her or that I am not interested its just that I cant even catch my breath right now I am in poilet mode at the moment and I can't shake it this is what I mean and some of the other Sags been saying on her once you turn off your giving a dam its really hard to get that back.
And then when she was crying saying sorry to me on the phone the other day and then crying to me in person saying she is changing right now and to take things slow at your pace. She is on the phone and I can here her trying and sounding happy and buzzing now the table has filpped she wasn't taking me seriously in the beginning and didn't want to listen to me on how I felt for her and us etc and now I directed my energy elsewhere mainly on myself and kids and changed my profile picture she now wants to make a massive effort towards us, am I dating two different people how can she one minuet be this really unhappy person who has all these problems with us and things associated with us and now be all happy again like nothing happend and she's saying to me I don't think your as interested anymore or sound that happy I guess things take time etc and then realising that I have pulled away and she's now directing all her energy and love towards me but I'm holding back because I am not sure on her intentions this time isit because she I genuinely sorry and upset because we practically broke up and I showed that I am not taking anymore of her rubbish and she has realised she needs to adjust and change or isit to win me back over so she can pull this rubbish all over again but like I said I aint gonna invest to much emotions or time into us as I use to because I just get hurt and if I smell any of that then that's it done. I just feel exhausted and fed up so much that I don't have the fight in me anymore if that make sense. It's not that I don't love her or that I am not interested its just that I cant even catch my breath right now I am in poilet mode at the moment and I can't shake it this is what I mean and some of the other Sags been saying on her once you turn off your giving a dam its really hard to get that back.
Your instincts Are spot on... the minute you go back and she has you back where you were, she’ll flip on you again. She’s lost control and is trying to get that back. Nothing will change though, whether you give in now, a week or a month from now...
Posted by sweethearts
Your instincts Are spot on... the minute you go back and she has you back where you were, she’ll flip on you again. She’s lost control and is trying to get that back. Nothing will change though, whether you give in now, a week or a month from now...
So basically I just keep on doing what I am doing then I told her straight if I smell one bit of her pulling that crap on me again I am off.
She has been all kind and worried towards me thinking that she is going to loose me etc.
But I aint letting her know to much of my feelings for her because once I do I have gave her a foot in the door.
Posted by sweethearts
Your instincts Are spot on... the minute you go back and she has you back where you were, she’ll flip on you again. She’s lost control and is trying to get that back. Nothing will change though, whether you give in now, a week or a month from now...
Will she change can she change does she want to change well she has told me yes but will she really only time will tell until then I am going to keep her at more of a distance and do me as well.
Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by sweethearts
Your instincts Are spot on... the minute you go back and she has you back where you were, she’ll flip on you again. She’s lost control and is trying to get that back. Nothing will change though, whether you give in now, a week or a month from now...
Will she change can she change does she want to change well she has told me yes but will she really only time will tell until then I am going to keep her at more of a distance and do me as well.
I already told you she won't dude. Why would she change when what she is doing has been working?
Think about it. This happens every single fkn time. You come back being like "we talked, she is sorry, but I'm still keeping her at arms length" it's bullshit. You're still feeding into it and everything she has been doing is working in her favour so she isn't gonna change. But you obviously don't really care and are gonna continue with it anyways.click to expand
It may of just worked a little this time though I ignored her text phone calls etc and she was taken back saying she feels hurt and realises what she's done wrong either way it don't matter like I said if I smell one bit of her being off them I'm outta here.
Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by sweethearts
Your instincts Are spot on... the minute you go back and she has you back where you were, she’ll flip on you again. She’s lost control and is trying to get that back. Nothing will change though, whether you give in now, a week or a month from now...
Will she change can she change does she want to change well she has told me yes but will she really only time will tell until then I am going to keep her at more of a distance and do me as well.
I already told you she won't dude. Why would she change when what she is doing has been working?
Think about it. This happens every single fkn time. You come back being like "we talked, she is sorry, but I'm still keeping her at arms length" it's bullshit. You're still feeding into it and everything she has been doing is working in her favour so she isn't gonna change. But you obviously don't really care and are gonna continue with it anyways.
It may of just worked a little this time though I ignored her text phone calls etc and she was taken back saying she feels hurt and realises what she's done wrong either way it don't matter like I said if I smell one bit of her being off them I'm outta here.
Of course she is gonna be upset and feel hurt if you're acting colder than usual. Doesn't mean anything will change. How many times has she said she relaizes what she has done is wrong? I've seen you post about her saying that more than once and nothing has changed.click to expand
True, I feel like its really hit home on her this time I just got off the phone to her and she is still president that there is something wrong with me saying I have changed etc not the same person since our last falling out she cant put her finger on it so she's saying and then saying I am respecting what you have said and what you want etc. Every time I have her on the phone she is saying it sounds like you don't want to be with me etc it isn't that it's the fact I aint showing her my emotions or interest as much anymore.
Posted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by sweethearts
Your instincts Are spot on... the minute you go back and she has you back where you were, she’ll flip on you again. She’s lost control and is trying to get that back. Nothing will change though, whether you give in now, a week or a month from now...
Will she change can she change does she want to change well she has told me yes but will she really only time will tell until then I am going to keep her at more of a distance and do me as well.
I already told you she won't dude. Why would she change when what she is doing has been working?
Think about it. This happens every single fkn time. You come back being like "we talked, she is sorry, but I'm still keeping her at arms length" it's bullshit. You're still feeding into it and everything she has been doing is working in her favour so she isn't gonna change. But you obviously don't really care and are gonna continue with it anyways.
It may of just worked a little this time though I ignored her text phone calls etc and she was taken back saying she feels hurt and realises what she's done wrong either way it don't matter like I said if I smell one bit of her being off them I'm outta here.
Of course she is gonna be upset and feel hurt if you're acting colder than usual. Doesn't mean anything will change. How many times has she said she relaizes what she has done is wrong? I've seen you post about her saying that more than once and nothing has changed.
True, I feel like its really hit home on her this time I just got off the phone to her and she is still president that there is something wrong with me saying I have changed etc not the same person since our last falling out she cant put her finger on it so she's saying and then saying I am respecting what you have said and what you want etc. Every time I have her on the phone she is saying it sounds like you don't want to be with me etc it isn't that it's the fact I aint showing her my emotions or interest as much anymore.click to expand
So now you’re just playing the game... the game that you will eventually lose and the one you’ll create another thread about.
Nothing has or will change in this relationship, it’ll go around and back and forth as it has always done because you both speak completely differently languages and neither is prepared or can learn the others language.
Sorry, as much as you want this, it’ll never work... there’ll always be something.
Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by sweethearts
Your instincts Are spot on... the minute you go back and she has you back where you were, she’ll flip on you again. She’s lost control and is trying to get that back. Nothing will change though, whether you give in now, a week or a month from now...
Will she change can she change does she want to change well she has told me yes but will she really only time will tell until then I am going to keep her at more of a distance and do me as well.
I already told you she won't dude. Why would she change when what she is doing has been working?
Think about it. This happens every single fkn time. You come back being like "we talked, she is sorry, but I'm still keeping her at arms length" it's bullshit. You're still feeding into it and everything she has been doing is working in her favour so she isn't gonna change. But you obviously don't really care and are gonna continue with it anyways.
It may of just worked a little this time though I ignored her text phone calls etc and she was taken back saying she feels hurt and realises what she's done wrong either way it don't matter like I said if I smell one bit of her being off them I'm outta here.
Of course she is gonna be upset and feel hurt if you're acting colder than usual. Doesn't mean anything will change. How many times has she said she relaizes what she has done is wrong? I've seen you post about her saying that more than once and nothing has changed.
True, I feel like its really hit home on her this time I just got off the phone to her and she is still president that there is something wrong with me saying I have changed etc not the same person since our last falling out she cant put her finger on it so she's saying and then saying I am respecting what you have said and what you want etc. Every time I have her on the phone she is saying it sounds like you don't want to be with me etc it isn't that it's the fact I aint showing her my emotions or interest as much anymore.
Then why bother to talk to her at all? Now you're just playing games and punishing her. You're both being immature here. You're either in or you're out, don't string her along giving her the bare minimum if you're not sure about this anymore. You're both making this difficult.click to expand
I get that I do not want to play games I am just trying to protect myself but I will give her the benefit of the doubt and we will see where we go I am in this otherwise I wouldn't be here I have no intentions nor time for games I know it sounds that way but I just want a loving relationship so I will give her my love and will see what happens if she does a U turn on me again then she clearly hasn't changed.
Posted by Centaur12Posted by sweethearts
Your instincts Are spot on... the minute you go back and she has you back where you were, she’ll flip on you again. She’s lost control and is trying to get that back. Nothing will change though, whether you give in now, a week or a month from now...
Will she change can she change does she want to change well she has told me yes but will she really only time will tell until then I am going to keep her at more of a distance and do me as well.click to expand
if you want your partner to change then that means you want to be with someone else.
go be with someone else.
Posted by PhoenixRising
2) you find someone that works better for your personality, Crabs seem to work well from what I've read of late
Not this one. I would have blocked him half way through that stupid text argument lol.
I don't want to post on this topic again and I hate to say it but I think alot of you are correct in what you have said I wish I listened to you guys.
We was all happy until the other night when we fell out it was my fault this time and I held my hands up had a drink and should of dropped something stupid anyway.
We have been on and off with eachother disagreements and not understanding eachother.
So I went to see her last night and again she told me then she's not sure she wants to sort us out and is weighing up how we will work but can't see it and when asked bluntly do you want to sort us properly her response was it breaks my heart but I am unsure if I want to.
Is she serious here because in the next breath she said I need space away from you to miss you.
And the I walked out of hers upset and said you better lock the door behind me.
Yet I had a text off her saying please let me know when your home.
I text her back an hour later saying I'm home she didn't read or reply and then I text trying to tell her I'm sorry about the way things have been lately I want to work it and that I love her etc she didn't reply so I took it she went asleep.
Anyway I woke up in the night to see she had read it but not replied at all.
Also, early on in the evening when we was texting I tried to ring her and the phone was ingauged so she was on the phone and I said I tried to ring you and she was a little hesitent and said oh I was on the phone I said oh okay who to usually she asks me when it's the other way around and she said why do I ask to tell you the ins and outs of my day like you said to me I said hang on I was just asking you as you would ask me.
Then she said it was her friend and told me who.
I duno what she is doing does anyone think this is strange or is it just me working about fuck all.
We was all happy until the other night when we fell out it was my fault this time and I held my hands up had a drink and should of dropped something stupid anyway.
We have been on and off with eachother disagreements and not understanding eachother.
So I went to see her last night and again she told me then she's not sure she wants to sort us out and is weighing up how we will work but can't see it and when asked bluntly do you want to sort us properly her response was it breaks my heart but I am unsure if I want to.
Is she serious here because in the next breath she said I need space away from you to miss you.
And the I walked out of hers upset and said you better lock the door behind me.
Yet I had a text off her saying please let me know when your home.
I text her back an hour later saying I'm home she didn't read or reply and then I text trying to tell her I'm sorry about the way things have been lately I want to work it and that I love her etc she didn't reply so I took it she went asleep.
Anyway I woke up in the night to see she had read it but not replied at all.
Also, early on in the evening when we was texting I tried to ring her and the phone was ingauged so she was on the phone and I said I tried to ring you and she was a little hesitent and said oh I was on the phone I said oh okay who to usually she asks me when it's the other way around and she said why do I ask to tell you the ins and outs of my day like you said to me I said hang on I was just asking you as you would ask me.
Then she said it was her friend and told me who.
I duno what she is doing does anyone think this is strange or is it just me working about fuck all.
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