“Momming” a boyfriend (Page 2)

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MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 37529 · Posts: 41243 · Topics: 331
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by MyStarsShine

There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat

Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.

😐

Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?

Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.

Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔
click to expand



Lol at the boat

It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧

It taught me how not to be....
Profile picture of pinkbird03
Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by Isolde
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by ibreatheoxygin

you are a fucking maid baby

He did ask how much he owed me for cleaning. I said a good dinner.

At least you guys have a humour about it and he didn’t get offended 😃
click to expand



He was definitely embarrassed by it. Over a month ago he made a comment about me not looking around... and I was thinking what are you hiding—? Ummm yep. I think he’s comfortable enough with me because I never really judge him.
Profile picture of MyStarsShine
MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 37529 · Posts: 41243 · Topics: 331
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by MyStarsShine

There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat

Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.

😐

Oh I could see myself being the one that cleans the upstairs. The downstairs always looks presentable. He knows what he’s doing.

Of course he does .... keep your 👀 on him

lol oh I will.
click to expand



You're a good kind woman....make sue he honours that. Cancer women tend to be too soft and giving and out of all the signs I've noticed the ones that are taken advantage of. Moon ruled.....very nurturing and feminine, but even so.......

If it gets too much, send him off to a Scorpio dominatrix to whip him into shape .......... I'll give you my address 😈😂
Profile picture of pinkbird03
Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by MyStarsShine

There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat

Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.

😐

Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?

Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.

Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔

Lol at the boat

It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧

It taught me how not to be....
click to expand



I get what you are saying. I totally see different sides to him. This independent, strong, assertive personality in public and a teddy bear in the sheets. I think a lot of this has to do with me wanting to show him what real love is since I really don’t think he’s ever been shown it.

Oh and he took me on the boat all last weekend and it was amazing. Today/tomorrow is the last day his best friend will be around for a month which means the bitchy gf will be history for the rest of boat season!! Except I have two vacations planned the next two weekends...
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Isolde
@Isolde
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 776 · Posts: 1847 · Topics: 2
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Isolde
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by ibreatheoxygin

you are a fucking maid baby

He did ask how much he owed me for cleaning. I said a good dinner.

At least you guys have a humour about it and he didn’t get offended 😃

He was definitely embarrassed by it. Over a month ago he made a comment about me not looking around... and I was thinking what are you hiding—? Ummm yep. I think he’s comfortable enough with me because I never really judge him.
click to expand


It’s a difficult subject to bring up, hopefully he gets into a system and never reverts back. Sometimes we just need a push.

I’ve lived with men all my life but never heard of anything like that extreme. But when I was young and shared a big 7 room townhouse with mostly girls, that was the most disgusting house I’ve ever lived in. The bathrooms especially 😬 won’t give you the visuals... so it’s not a boy problem, women are just as bad.
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by PhoenixStorm
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by PhoenixStorm

I do to a degree (cancer moon)

But my nagging is more about safety. I’ll say stuff like drive safe, I’ll yell at him for texting while driving, if he’s sick I’ll try nursing him back to health.. stuff like that. But I don’t really nag about messy car or messy house etc.

I didn’t nag about him cleaning. I just did it because I couldn’t handle stepping on the same pile of clean clothes for a month. Your man must not be too bad if it didn’t bother u

I was not saying that you were nagging. To be honest I didn’t even read your entire post I just read the question in the headline. And I don’t have a man currently, I’m speaking in general about my tendencies.
click to expand



Gotcha. So it seems like everyone takes care of their man. So it’s not always technically mommying them.
Profile picture of PuzzlePieces
Roo
@PuzzlePieces
6 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1560 · Posts: 3897 · Topics: 79
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by MyStarsShine

There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat

Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.

😐

Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?

Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.

Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔

Lol at the boat

It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧

It taught me how not to be....
click to expand


Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉
Profile picture of pinkbird03
Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by Isolde
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Isolde
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by ibreatheoxygin

you are a fucking maid baby

He did ask how much he owed me for cleaning. I said a good dinner.

At least you guys have a humour about it and he didn’t get offended 😃

He was definitely embarrassed by it. Over a month ago he made a comment about me not looking around... and I was thinking what are you hiding—? Ummm yep. I think he’s comfortable enough with me because I never really judge him.

It’s a difficult subject to bring up, hopefully he gets into a system and never reverts back. Sometimes we just need a push.

I’ve lived with men all my life but never heard of anything like that extreme. But when I was young and shared a big 7 room townhouse with mostly girls, that was the most disgusting house I’ve ever lived in. The bathrooms especially 😬 won’t give you the visuals... so it’s not a boy problem, women are just as bad.
click to expand



Omg I know what you are talking about! College dorms girls bathroom was insanely disgusting like wtf?? Lol ew

I don’t think it’s his norm. due to Covid, his business actually skyrocketed and he’s still two weeks behind on work related stuff. So let’s hope not!!
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Isolde
@Isolde
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 776 · Posts: 1847 · Topics: 2
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Isolde
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by Isolde

Men that are so busy working hard playing hard, know there’s a industry called house cleaners

Are you in loving rship?

Why would that make a difference

Because to that dxp user your worth is defined by you having a man and your opinion counts only if you have a man/can keep a man. Welcome to the dark ages!
click to expand


I was always against home cleaners tbh, but so many married couples and long term relationship people with kids have managed to convince me otherwise.

There’s only 3 of us at work that don’t have cleaners, everyone else does.
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by MrsElleCappysnatch
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by LadyNeptune

Sometimes I baby him, sometimes he babies me. But it’s important for there to be a give and take. If he’s not making an effort back your gonna start resenting him. Especially when he thrashes those spaces and all your effort is wasted.

Your relationship seems balance and that’s very important. My guy gives in other ways. He pays for most things (breakfast, lunch, dinner, groceries) and he has cooked me dinner a bunch of times. As well as a bunch of little things that don’t go unnoticed. I don’t feel used. If anything I feel like our relationship grew a tiny because we got to know each other in a different area of our lives.

Good. As long as there is that balance and effort on both sides then it’ll work. Society tells you there is only one or 2 ways to be but the reality is your relationship is between the 2 of you, no one else.

This ^^^

I don't have the most conventional relationship but I'm the happiest in this one than I've ever been. You have to find that balance and often times it doesn't look like what society told us it would look like...and there is nothing wrong with that.
click to expand



Yes, it’s figuring out how to work as a team for your relationship. I definitely don’t do his yard work.
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by MyStarsShine

There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat

Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.

😐

Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?

Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.

Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔

Lol at the boat

It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧

It taught me how not to be....

Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉
click to expand



I think he could have lived like this for months to come. He stopped using the toliet and sink in dirty bathroom. He kept washing the same clothes and wearing them over and over again.
Profile picture of pinkbird03
Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by MyStarsShine

There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat

Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.

😐

Oh I could see myself being the one that cleans the upstairs. The downstairs always looks presentable. He knows what he’s doing.

Of course he does .... keep your 👀 on him

lol oh I will.

You're a good kind woman....make sue he honours that. Cancer women tend to be too soft and giving and out of all the signs I've noticed the ones that are taken advantage of. Moon ruled.....very nurturing and feminine, but even so.......

If it gets too much, send him off to a Scorpio dominatrix to whip him into shape .......... I'll give you my address 😈😂
click to expand



😂😂😂 might need to eventually!!!

I know what you’re saying. I’m just the kind of person who always tries to do the right thing and be a good person even if it doesn’t make a difference. In my heart, it does
Profile picture of Isolde
Isolde
@Isolde
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 776 · Posts: 1847 · Topics: 2
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Isolde
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Isolde
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by ibreatheoxygin

you are a fucking maid baby

He did ask how much he owed me for cleaning. I said a good dinner.

At least you guys have a humour about it and he didn’t get offended 😃

He was definitely embarrassed by it. Over a month ago he made a comment about me not looking around... and I was thinking what are you hiding—? Ummm yep. I think he’s comfortable enough with me because I never really judge him.

It’s a difficult subject to bring up, hopefully he gets into a system and never reverts back. Sometimes we just need a push.

I’ve lived with men all my life but never heard of anything like that extreme. But when I was young and shared a big 7 room townhouse with mostly girls, that was the most disgusting house I’ve ever lived in. The bathrooms especially 😬 won’t give you the visuals... so it’s not a boy problem, women are just as bad.

Omg I know what you are talking about! College dorms girls bathroom was insanely disgusting like wtf?? Lol ew

I don’t think it’s his norm. due to Covid, his business actually skyrocketed and he’s still two weeks behind on work related stuff. So let’s hope not!!
click to expand


Yup, you remember. Women are filthy especially with all the hair down the drain. Gross

Congrats to him on his business boom
Profile picture of pinkbird03
Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by PhoenixStorm
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by PhoenixStorm
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by PhoenixStorm

I do to a degree (cancer moon)

But my nagging is more about safety. I’ll say stuff like drive safe, I’ll yell at him for texting while driving, if he’s sick I’ll try nursing him back to health.. stuff like that. But I don’t really nag about messy car or messy house etc.

I didn’t nag about him cleaning. I just did it because I couldn’t handle stepping on the same pile of clean clothes for a month. Your man must not be too bad if it didn’t bother u

I was not saying that you were nagging. To be honest I didn’t even read your entire post I just read the question in the headline. And I don’t have a man currently, I’m speaking in general about my tendencies.

Gotcha. So it seems like everyone takes care of their man. So it’s not always technically mommying them.

I think it’s kind of cute and endearing lol it shows that we care
click to expand



Absolutely!
Profile picture of PuzzlePieces
Roo
@PuzzlePieces
6 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1560 · Posts: 3897 · Topics: 79
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by MyStarsShine

There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat

Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.

😐

Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?

Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.

Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔

Lol at the boat

It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧

It taught me how not to be....

Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉

I think he could have lived like this for months to come. He stopped using the toliet and sink in dirty bathroom. He kept washing the same clothes and wearing them over and over again.
click to expand



Yes. That’s who he is. So what I’m saying is doing it for him is enabling, and not letting him get to the point of deciding to clean it up. It’s fine one time. But always, you get to keep the baby not have him grow up. Just like children....
Profile picture of pinkbird03
Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by MyStarsShine

There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat

Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.

😐

Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?

Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.

Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔

Lol at the boat

It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧

It taught me how not to be....

Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉

I think he could have lived like this for months to come. He stopped using the toliet and sink in dirty bathroom. He kept washing the same clothes and wearing them over and over again.

Yes. That’s who he is. So what I’m saying is doing it for him is enabling, and not letting him get to the point of deciding to clean it up. It’s fine one time. But always, you get to keep the baby not have him grow up. Just like children....
click to expand



Yea, I mean he does clean some things. It’s not all me. He’s always cleaning the boat. But I guess he just doesn’t care about laundry and that bathroom.
Profile picture of aquarius09
Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11846 · Topics: 2
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Isolde
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by Isolde

Men that are so busy working hard playing hard, know there’s a industry called house cleaners

Are you in loving rship?

Why would that make a difference

Because to that dxp user your worth is defined by you having a man and your opinion counts only if you have a man/can keep a man. Welcome to the dark ages!

Another happy single here?

Are you the one who’s granny never made her special recipe pie nor cookie? New age family deprived child? 🤷‍♀️
click to expand



Nice try. Nope. My mom worked and raised us and my dad wasn’t a manchild slob who had to be babied and catered to the way you are promoting.
Profile picture of SagInTheSun898
SagInTheSun898
@SagInTheSun898
5 Years

Comments: 514 · Posts: 454 · Topics: 6
@PuzzlesPieces is right. You think your doing the right thing by trying to rewrite is his childhood. You aren't. Men like this will use you as long as they can but crave someone who treats them badly and take you for granted. It's how it goes. My ex had a crappy gf before me so I thought I'd try to be the opposite of her. Got nowhere! Only people who can take care of themselves can appreciate giving and reciving.
Profile picture of PuzzlePieces
Roo
@PuzzlePieces
6 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1560 · Posts: 3897 · Topics: 79
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by MyStarsShine

There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat

Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.

😐

Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?

Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.

Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔

Lol at the boat

It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧

It taught me how not to be....

Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉

I think he could have lived like this for months to come. He stopped using the toliet and sink in dirty bathroom. He kept washing the same clothes and wearing them over and over again.

Yes. That’s who he is. So what I’m saying is doing it for him is enabling, and not letting him get to the point of deciding to clean it up. It’s fine one time. But always, you get to keep the baby not have him grow up. Just like children....

Yea, I mean he does clean some things. It’s not all me. He’s always cleaning the boat. But I guess he just doesn’t care about laundry and that bathroom.
click to expand



Yep. He does what he cares about. Soooo don’t do it for him, you’re not even living there.
Profile picture of aquarius09
Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11846 · Topics: 2
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Isolde
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by Isolde

Men that are so busy working hard playing hard, know there’s a industry called house cleaners

Are you in loving rship?

Why would that make a difference

Because to that dxp user your worth is defined by you having a man and your opinion counts only if you have a man/can keep a man. Welcome to the dark ages!

Another happy single here?

Are you the one who’s granny never made her special recipe pie nor cookie? New age family deprived child? 🤷‍♀️

Nice try. Nope. My mom worked and raised us and my dad wasn’t a manchild slob who had to be babied and catered to the way you are promoting.

So what’s your current rship situation?

50/50 on everything?

Something tells me you aren’t in...
click to expand



All these wrong guesses. LOL. Why are you bothering with your old fashion regressive guesses?

You think that all women who are in relationships are doing what you did to stay in one? Are you in an arranged marriage? Are you financially independent? Are you confident? Do you need to keep a man happy or stay in a relationship as performance evaluation of your femininity? I have your regressive psyche figured and I’m disgusted.
Profile picture of MyStarsShine
MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 37529 · Posts: 41243 · Topics: 331
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by MyStarsShine

There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat

Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.

😐

Oh I could see myself being the one that cleans the upstairs. The downstairs always looks presentable. He knows what he’s doing.

Of course he does .... keep your 👀 on him

lol oh I will.

You're a good kind woman....make sue he honours that. Cancer women tend to be too soft and giving and out of all the signs I've noticed the ones that are taken advantage of. Moon ruled.....very nurturing and feminine, but even so.......

If it gets too much, send him off to a Scorpio dominatrix to whip him into shape .......... I'll give you my address 😈😂

😂😂😂 might need to eventually!!!

I know what you’re saying. I’m just the kind of person who always tries to do the right thing and be a good person even if it doesn’t make a difference. In my heart, it does
click to expand



Haha the poor guy would be scarred for life 😮

😘 to you
Profile picture of MyStarsShine
MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 37529 · Posts: 41243 · Topics: 331
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by MyStarsShine

There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat

Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.

😐

Oh I could see myself being the one that cleans the upstairs. The downstairs always looks presentable. He knows what he’s doing.

Of course he does .... keep your 👀 on him

lol oh I will.

You're a good kind woman....make sue he honours that. Cancer women tend to be too soft and giving and out of all the signs I've noticed the ones that are taken advantage of. Moon ruled.....very nurturing and feminine, but even so.......

If it gets too much, send him off to a Scorpio dominatrix to whip him into shape .......... I'll give you my address 😈😂

I thought you put a stamp on Aries...with bad word engraved...lol
click to expand



Aww no, my dad was one and my last lover too and i cared about them .... it’s just I’ve little patience for the man child thing 🥴
Profile picture of MyStarsShine
MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 37529 · Posts: 41243 · Topics: 331
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by MyStarsShine

There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat

Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.

😐

Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?

Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.

Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔

Lol at the boat

It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧

It taught me how not to be....

I refuse to equal doormat and carrying woman!

What’s doormaty in being happy housewife?

Actually seeing your kids after school instead of having them being taken care of by streets or strangers? Cooking home made meals? Being praised for how tasty it is...

I am actually very sad is that new generation won’t have memories of grandmothers and mothers pies and soups and secret recipes ANYTHING!

It makes me feel like that’s why we came to where we are now because of women STOPPED being housewives! Not doormats!
click to expand



You’d have to ask my mum ... I quoted her words
Profile picture of MyStarsShine
MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 37529 · Posts: 41243 · Topics: 331
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by MyStarsShine

There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat

Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.

😐

Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?

Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.

Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔

Lol at the boat

It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧

It taught me how not to be....

Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉
click to expand



Yes it’s actually unkind to stunt a persons growth that way.
Profile picture of PuzzlePieces
Roo
@PuzzlePieces
6 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1560 · Posts: 3897 · Topics: 79
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by MyStarsShine

There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat

Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.

😐

Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?

Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.

Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔

Lol at the boat

It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧

It taught me how not to be....

Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉

Yes it’s actually unkind to stunt a persons growth that way.
click to expand



Yes I agree.
Profile picture of PuzzlePieces
Roo
@PuzzlePieces
6 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1560 · Posts: 3897 · Topics: 79
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by MyStarsShine

There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat

Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.

😐

Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?

Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.

Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔

Lol at the boat

It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧

It taught me how not to be....

Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉

Yes it’s actually unkind to stunt a persons growth that way.
click to expand



Plus I think what you see long term is a lot of people getting divorced & men not being able to take care of themselves. Either they go right to another caretaker or they learn and are really pissed the ex was so controlling “I couldn’t do anything right”. They are NOT appreciating or remembering all she did for them.

So what’s the term - emasculating?

So is this what men really want? Or do they actually want to grow with you like partners..
Profile picture of SagInTheSun898
SagInTheSun898
@SagInTheSun898
5 Years

Comments: 514 · Posts: 454 · Topics: 6
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by SagInTheSun898
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by SagInTheSun898

Yes. It's a bad idea with no reward. We have to all take care of ourselves in partnerships. Learning this lesson. Boundaries are important!

How happily single are you?

I am lot happier than being used by a man. I'll tell you that

See? All of you smartasses are single and will stay single. Because you weren’t thought family values!

And if you are thinking of housekeeping as being used by man - you have a serious problem woman...
click to expand



Nope. I did more for my boyfriend than even this chick did and it got me no where. Acting like a 50's house wife will not get you love or commitment. Only respect does. And the more you do for someone the less they will. It's the harsh truth.
Profile picture of pinkbird03
Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by MyStarsShine

There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat

Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.

😐

Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?

Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.

Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔

Lol at the boat

It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧

It taught me how not to be....

Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉

I think he could have lived like this for months to come. He stopped using the toliet and sink in dirty bathroom. He kept washing the same clothes and wearing them over and over again.

Yes. That’s who he is. So what I’m saying is doing it for him is enabling, and not letting him get to the point of deciding to clean it up. It’s fine one time. But always, you get to keep the baby not have him grow up. Just like children....

Yea, I mean he does clean some things. It’s not all me. He’s always cleaning the boat. But I guess he just doesn’t care about laundry and that bathroom.

Yep. He does what he cares about. Soooo don’t do it for him, you’re not even living there.
click to expand



He’s offered to pay me. I didn’t let him. I’m okay with it. It’s not like I’m busy.
Profile picture of pinkbird03
Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by thatlibralife
Posted by Timon

It's very cancerian to want to baby their man like that. I just couldn't. Ofc I would help and contribute but I can't be with someone who can't take care of their own shit...literally speaking. 🤣🤣🤣

But I'm a libra snob. 😅🤣

I’m not if that’s really a Cancer trait because I know of a Cancer lady who never cooked for her guy and who would party all night and sleep in late....

But anywho I don’t mind helping but it needs to be a two way street. I don’t want to be the only one cleaning if we are both working. That would tick me off. I think hiring a housekeeper once a week at least is a great idea if you can afford it and are living together. It’s about balance and working as a team imo. My ex husband was a straight up slob. Wouldn’t even take out the trash. Yet we were both working full time. Expected me to clean the pissy toilet he crapped all over with a smile. And he wonders why I eventually bailed on his ass...
click to expand



I’m not working full time right now so I don’t mind. Two way street is important. I once had a similar bf to yours that I felt it was uneven... not with cleaning (we were in college) but with money and I hated it. So I get the frustration
Profile picture of Isolde
Isolde
@Isolde
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 776 · Posts: 1847 · Topics: 2
Posted by thatlibralife
Posted by Timon

It's very cancerian to want to baby their man like that. I just couldn't. Ofc I would help and contribute but I can't be with someone who can't take care of their own shit...literally speaking. 🤣🤣🤣

But I'm a libra snob. 😅🤣

I’m not if that’s really a Cancer trait because I know of a Cancer lady who never cooked for her guy and who would party all night and sleep in late....

But anywho I don’t mind helping but it needs to be a two way street. I don’t want to be the only one cleaning if we are both working. That would tick me off. I think hiring a housekeeper once a week at least is a great idea if you can afford it and are living together. It’s about balance and working as a team imo. My ex husband was a straight up slob. Wouldn’t even take out the trash. Yet we were both working full time. Expected me to clean the pissy toilet he crapped all over with a smile. And he wonders why I eventually bailed on his ass...
click to expand


You know us so well, never met a crab that would put up with that. We like being useful/helpful but never serve hand and foot.

And our beauty sleep is everything
Profile picture of SagInTheSun898
SagInTheSun898
@SagInTheSun898
5 Years

Comments: 514 · Posts: 454 · Topics: 6
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by SagInTheSun898
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by SagInTheSun898
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by SagInTheSun898

Yes. It's a bad idea with no reward. We have to all take care of ourselves in partnerships. Learning this lesson. Boundaries are important!

How happily single are you?

I am lot happier than being used by a man. I'll tell you that

See? All of you smartasses are single and will stay single. Because you weren’t thought family values!

And if you are thinking of housekeeping as being used by man - you have a serious problem woman...

Nope. I did more for my boyfriend than even this chick did and it got me no where. Acting like a 50's house wife will not get you love or commitment. Only respect does. And the more you do for someone the less they will. It's the harsh truth.

See...it’s not the same.

‘This chick’ is the way she is naturally. And she won’t change. If you did it genuinely yoi wouldn’t be bitter and angry now. He probably felt it as a put on and trap!
click to expand



No it was natural. Believe me, I have a cancer rising. But it's a unhealthy behavior I realized. You can't be responsible for other people in that way. It's too much.
Profile picture of ibreatheoxygin
ibreatheoxygin
@ibreatheoxygin
5 Years

Comments: 5 · Posts: 38 · Topics: 0
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by ibreatheoxygin
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by ibreatheoxygin
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by ibreatheoxygin

you are a fucking maid baby

So what?

Describe you. 🤔

you send me some pics first then well talk

That’s stupid. I said describe your happy single status...not your hip size...

and i asked you to get naked

I’ve got my answer. Piss off now...
click to expand


you piss off
Profile picture of PuzzlePieces
Roo
@PuzzlePieces
6 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1560 · Posts: 3897 · Topics: 79
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by MyStarsShine

There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat

Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.

😐

Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?

Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.

Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔

Lol at the boat

It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧

It taught me how not to be....

Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉

I think he could have lived like this for months to come. He stopped using the toliet and sink in dirty bathroom. He kept washing the same clothes and wearing them over and over again.

Yes. That’s who he is. So what I’m saying is doing it for him is enabling, and not letting him get to the point of deciding to clean it up. It’s fine one time. But always, you get to keep the baby not have him grow up. Just like children....

Yea, I mean he does clean some things. It’s not all me. He’s always cleaning the boat. But I guess he just doesn’t care about laundry and that bathroom.

Yep. He does what he cares about. Soooo don’t do it for him, you’re not even living there.

He’s offered to pay me. I didn’t let him. I’m okay with it. It’s not like I’m busy.
click to expand



That’s not the point. He’s training you. You refuse payment?
Profile picture of ibreatheoxygin
ibreatheoxygin
@ibreatheoxygin
5 Years

Comments: 5 · Posts: 38 · Topics: 0
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by ibreatheoxygin
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by ibreatheoxygin
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by ibreatheoxygin
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by ibreatheoxygin

you are a fucking maid baby

So what?

Describe you. 🤔

you send me some pics first then well talk

That’s stupid. I said describe your happy single status...not your hip size...

and i asked you to get naked

I’ve got my answer. Piss off now...

you piss off

You can’t even use your own words to tell me off...child...🖕
click to expand


i dont need to, thats what i got you for
Profile picture of PuzzlePieces
Roo
@PuzzlePieces
6 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1560 · Posts: 3897 · Topics: 79
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by MyStarsShine

There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat

Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.

😐

Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?

Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.

Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔

Lol at the boat

It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧

It taught me how not to be....

Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉

Yes it’s actually unkind to stunt a persons growth that way.

Plus I think what you see long term is a lot of people getting divorced & men not being able to take care of themselves. Either they go right to another caretaker or they learn and are really pissed the ex was so controlling “I couldn’t do anything right”. They are NOT appreciating or remembering all she did for them.

So what’s the term - emasculating?

So is this what men really want? Or do they actually want to grow with you like partners..

It’s a joke right? Everybody can take care of themselves IF need to be. What are they going to do...lay down and die?
click to expand



Of course they can if you let them!
Profile picture of MyStarsShine
MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 37529 · Posts: 41243 · Topics: 331
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by MyStarsShine

There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat

Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.

😐

Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?

Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.

Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔

Lol at the boat

It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧

It taught me how not to be....

Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉

Yes it’s actually unkind to stunt a persons growth that way.

Plus I think what you see long term is a lot of people getting divorced & men not being able to take care of themselves. Either they go right to another caretaker or they learn and are really pissed the ex was so controlling “I couldn’t do anything right”. They are NOT appreciating or remembering all she did for them.

So what’s the term - emasculating?

So is this what men really want? Or do they actually want to grow with you like partners..
click to expand



It’d make you wonder!

Liking your wisdom here. Yes I believe raise a boy to be a man and then he won’t need a second mummy
Profile picture of aquarius09
Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11846 · Topics: 2
Posted by Pulsy
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Pulsy

Have him hire a house cleaner!!

There’s nothing wrong with me doing it.

Ok just don’t get resentful to do this for life
click to expand



But resentful is exactly what seeps in when Cancer isn’t able to secure a stable relationship in exchange for all their mommy services. My Cancer guy friends who had a crush on me used to daddy me (with an ulterior motive that they would get me as more than a friend). I didn’t like anyone of them more than friends and I don’t like being babied. Care was nice but babying was too much. As they came forward with their confessions and I rejected, their resentful comments of “I did all this for you!” “How could you not see me as more than a friend when I’ve done...” I learned through repeated interactions with this sign to know why it’s deemed manipulative. They want to buy you and your love and when it doesn’t materialize, you are gonna hear all the things they’ve done for you.

I also have two female Cancer friends who do alllll the above and more for their men and it’s come back to bite them in their ass and they are resentful for it because they weren’t able keep the man they did all of it for.
Profile picture of SassyKiwi
Un petit pamplemousse
@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 1471 · Posts: 6968 · Topics: 126
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Pulsy
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Pulsy

Have him hire a house cleaner!!

There’s nothing wrong with me doing it.

Ok just don’t get resentful to do this for life

I also have two female Cancer friends who do alllll the above and more for their men and it’s come back to bite them in their ass and they are resentful for it because they weren’t able keep the man they did all of it for.
click to expand


I have seen that play out with Cancer women too 😬
Profile picture of pinkbird03
Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Pulsy
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Pulsy

Have him hire a house cleaner!!

There’s nothing wrong with me doing it.

Ok just don’t get resentful to do this for life

But resentful is exactly what seeps in when Cancer isn’t able to secure a stable relationship in exchange for all their mommy services. My Cancer guy friends who had a crush on me used to daddy me (with an ulterior motive that they would get me as more than a friend). I didn’t like anyone of them more than friends and I don’t like being babied. Care was nice but babying was too much. As they came forward with their confessions and I rejected, their resentful comments of “I did all this for you!” “How could you not see me as more than a friend when I’ve done...” I learned through repeated interactions with this sign to know why it’s deemed manipulative. They want to buy you and your love and when it doesn’t materialize, you are gonna hear all the things they’ve done for you.

I also have two female Cancer friends who do alllll the above and more for their men and it’s come back to bite them in their ass and they are resentful for it because they weren’t able keep the man they did all of it for.
click to expand



I’m not doing it to keep him. I’m doing it to be nice and to help him off. He’s helped me out with moving something heavy and driving it 45 minutes away. I do it to be a nice person.
Profile picture of AbbyNormal
AbbyNormal
@AbbyNormal
12 Years5,000+ PostsTaurus

Comments: 14265 · Posts: 5321 · Topics: 61
Im born on the day of nurturing support and I’ve always been so inclined. I’ve found that I’ve often been in that role with guys which is fine up to a point. I love to nurture my loved ones, to take care of them, but that doesn’t mean I want that taken advantage of or that I want to be with someone who won’t take responsibility for themselves. Resentment can most def develop if he just expects it and does nothing to reciprocate. Now that I’m healthier, I’m seeing a pattern of why I attracted and was attracted to broken men subconsciously in need of mothering. Broken people attract just that. I’ve had to tell my last two significant others that I’m their partner and not their mother. I didn’t mind taking care of the one before this latest one bc he actually did so much to support me, I was just too broken to see it all. Unfortunate but at least I see that now. The most recent one I can see wants to be different but has something just holding him back. I think in that case, I enabled him to be irresponsible.

Now that I’m beating codependency, I can truly see a lot of things more clearly. Now that I’m making sure I’m not helping people to avoid working on/fixing myself, I’m attracted to more responsible, self sufficient men. Most of my serious relationships have been with men with mommy issues, mostly abusive ones, so I can see how I was attractive to them. And I was attracted to them bc I needed to take care of someone to avoid fixing my own flaws. Again, I don’t mind being nurturing, I quite like that about myself, but I need someone who respects that and reciprocates. Not necessarily in the same way but in other supportive ways. Reciprocity is all I really want in a loving relationship.
Profile picture of aquarius09
Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11846 · Topics: 2
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Pulsy
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Pulsy

Have him hire a house cleaner!!

There’s nothing wrong with me doing it.

Ok just don’t get resentful to do this for life

But resentful is exactly what seeps in when Cancer isn’t able to secure a stable relationship in exchange for all their mommy services. My Cancer guy friends who had a crush on me used to daddy me (with an ulterior motive that they would get me as more than a friend). I didn’t like anyone of them more than friends and I don’t like being babied. Care was nice but babying was too much. As they came forward with their confessions and I rejected, their resentful comments of “I did all this for you!” “How could you not see me as more than a friend when I’ve done...” I learned through repeated interactions with this sign to know why it’s deemed manipulative. They want to buy you and your love and when it doesn’t materialize, you are gonna hear all the things they’ve done for you.

I also have two female Cancer friends who do alllll the above and more for their men and it’s come back to bite them in their ass and they are resentful for it because they weren’t able keep the man they did all of it for.

I’m not doing it to keep him. I’m doing it to be nice and to help him off. He’s helped me out with moving something heavy and driving it 45 minutes away. I do it to be a nice person.
click to expand



Yeah, but I’m sure you’re not cleaning everyone’s home or buying other people shampoos just because you’re a nice person. You are romantically interested in him and that’s why you do all these over the top nice things for him.

That’s fine, but remember, if things don’t pan out with this guy, you no longer have a right to be upset or resentful because you did it for the sole fact that you’re a nice person and not with an expectation, am I right?
Profile picture of pinkbird03
Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Pulsy
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Pulsy

Have him hire a house cleaner!!

There’s nothing wrong with me doing it.

Ok just don’t get resentful to do this for life

But resentful is exactly what seeps in when Cancer isn’t able to secure a stable relationship in exchange for all their mommy services. My Cancer guy friends who had a crush on me used to daddy me (with an ulterior motive that they would get me as more than a friend). I didn’t like anyone of them more than friends and I don’t like being babied. Care was nice but babying was too much. As they came forward with their confessions and I rejected, their resentful comments of “I did all this for you!” “How could you not see me as more than a friend when I’ve done...” I learned through repeated interactions with this sign to know why it’s deemed manipulative. They want to buy you and your love and when it doesn’t materialize, you are gonna hear all the things they’ve done for you.

I also have two female Cancer friends who do alllll the above and more for their men and it’s come back to bite them in their ass and they are resentful for it because they weren’t able keep the man they did all of it for.

I’m not doing it to keep him. I’m doing it to be nice and to help him off. He’s helped me out with moving something heavy and driving it 45 minutes away. I do it to be a nice person.

Yeah, but I’m sure you’re not cleaning everyone’s home or buying other people shampoos just because you’re a nice person. You are romantically interested in him and that’s why you do all these over the top nice things for him.

That’s fine, but remember, if things don’t pan out with this guy, you no longer have a right to be upset or resentful because you did it for the sole fact that you’re a nice person and not with an expectation, am I right?
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Completely right. I’ve never been upset in the past over things I did that didn’t work out with a guy.
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by AbbyNormal

Im born on the day of nurturing support and I’ve always been so inclined. I’ve found that I’ve often been in that role with guys which is fine up to a point. I love to nurture my loved ones, to take care of them, but that doesn’t mean I want that taken advantage of or that I want to be with someone who won’t take responsibility for themselves. Resentment can most def develop if he just expects it and does nothing to reciprocate. Now that I’m healthier, I’m seeing a pattern of why I attracted and was attracted to broken men subconsciously in need of mothering. Broken people attract just that. I’ve had to tell my last two significant others that I’m their partner and not their mother. I didn’t mind taking care of the one before this latest one bc he actually did so much to support me, I was just too broken to see it all. Unfortunate but at least I see that now. The most recent one I can see wants to be different but has something just holding him back. I think in that case, I enabled him to be irresponsible.

Now that I’m beating codependency, I can truly see a lot of things more clearly. Now that I’m making sure I’m not helping people to avoid working on/fixing myself, I’m attracted to more responsible, self sufficient men. Most of my serious relationships have been with men with mommy issues, mostly abusive ones, so I can see how I was attractive to them. And I was attracted to them bc I needed to take care of someone to avoid fixing my own flaws. Again, I don’t mind being nurturing, I quite like that about myself, but I need someone who respects that and reciprocates. Not necessarily in the same way but in other supportive ways. Reciprocity is all I really want in a loving relationship.


I think that’s an important message. Not every guy is going to reciprocate, but some will and some will appreciate everything you do.
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MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

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Posted by Timon
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Timon
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Timon

If his bathroom is really nasty I would probably leave and never come back. 🤣

So he has a master bathroom and a half bathroom that I use. Never too bad. Then there’s another bathroom outside the bedroom that only he uses and has the door mostly shut. I never went in it until last week and that’s when I discovered the dirtiest and smelliest bathroom I’ve ever seen......... took me over an hour to clean it. He even said he stopped using it because it was dirty 😅 except to shower. Master shower apparently isn’t good because u feel cold air so that’s why he used the other bathroom. But it looks great now!!

🤢 I can't believe you managed to clean it. I feel sick just reading this and picturing what it must have looked like. Yuck!🤮 Lol.

Well, well done. I would never have managed. I would probably have screamed and had nightmares about it. 🤣

Iol it was bad lol then I opened a closet and a huge mountain of dirty smelly clothes! Lots of surprises this week. He thought it was funny.

In the end if you're both happy doing what you're doing I guess that's all that matters but just make sure you don't get taken for granted. I hope he's appreciating it. From my experience aries tend to walk over girls that are too nice and accommodating.
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I agree with all this ..... they need a strong woman to keep them in line.