MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts
Comments: 37529 · Posts: 41243 · Topics: 331
“Momming” a boyfriend (Page 2)
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Posted by IsoldePosted by pinkbird03Posted by ibreatheoxygin
you are a fucking maid baby
He did ask how much he owed me for cleaning. I said a good dinner.
At least you guys have a humour about it and he didn’t get offended 😃click to expand
He was definitely embarrassed by it. Over a month ago he made a comment about me not looking around... and I was thinking what are you hiding—? Ummm yep. I think he’s comfortable enough with me because I never really judge him.
Posted by pinkbird03Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by pinkbird03Posted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Oh I could see myself being the one that cleans the upstairs. The downstairs always looks presentable. He knows what he’s doing.
Of course he does .... keep your 👀 on him
lol oh I will.click to expand
You're a good kind woman....make sue he honours that. Cancer women tend to be too soft and giving and out of all the signs I've noticed the ones that are taken advantage of. Moon ruled.....very nurturing and feminine, but even so.......
If it gets too much, send him off to a Scorpio dominatrix to whip him into shape .......... I'll give you my address 😈😂
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?
Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.
Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔
Lol at the boat
It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧
It taught me how not to be....click to expand
I get what you are saying. I totally see different sides to him. This independent, strong, assertive personality in public and a teddy bear in the sheets. I think a lot of this has to do with me wanting to show him what real love is since I really don’t think he’s ever been shown it.
Oh and he took me on the boat all last weekend and it was amazing. Today/tomorrow is the last day his best friend will be around for a month which means the bitchy gf will be history for the rest of boat season!! Except I have two vacations planned the next two weekends...
Yes. It's a bad idea with no reward. We have to all take care of ourselves in partnerships. Learning this lesson. Boundaries are important!
Posted by pinkbird03Posted by IsoldePosted by pinkbird03Posted by ibreatheoxygin
you are a fucking maid baby
He did ask how much he owed me for cleaning. I said a good dinner.
At least you guys have a humour about it and he didn’t get offended 😃
He was definitely embarrassed by it. Over a month ago he made a comment about me not looking around... and I was thinking what are you hiding—? Ummm yep. I think he’s comfortable enough with me because I never really judge him.click to expand
It’s a difficult subject to bring up, hopefully he gets into a system and never reverts back. Sometimes we just need a push.
I’ve lived with men all my life but never heard of anything like that extreme. But when I was young and shared a big 7 room townhouse with mostly girls, that was the most disgusting house I’ve ever lived in. The bathrooms especially 😬 won’t give you the visuals... so it’s not a boy problem, women are just as bad.
Posted by PhoenixStormPosted by pinkbird03Posted by PhoenixStorm
I do to a degree (cancer moon)
But my nagging is more about safety. I’ll say stuff like drive safe, I’ll yell at him for texting while driving, if he’s sick I’ll try nursing him back to health.. stuff like that. But I don’t really nag about messy car or messy house etc.
I didn’t nag about him cleaning. I just did it because I couldn’t handle stepping on the same pile of clean clothes for a month. Your man must not be too bad if it didn’t bother u
I was not saying that you were nagging. To be honest I didn’t even read your entire post I just read the question in the headline. And I don’t have a man currently, I’m speaking in general about my tendencies.click to expand
Gotcha. So it seems like everyone takes care of their man. So it’s not always technically mommying them.
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?
Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.
Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔
Lol at the boat
It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧
It taught me how not to be....click to expand
Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉
Posted by IsoldePosted by pinkbird03Posted by IsoldePosted by pinkbird03Posted by ibreatheoxygin
you are a fucking maid baby
He did ask how much he owed me for cleaning. I said a good dinner.
At least you guys have a humour about it and he didn’t get offended 😃
He was definitely embarrassed by it. Over a month ago he made a comment about me not looking around... and I was thinking what are you hiding—? Ummm yep. I think he’s comfortable enough with me because I never really judge him.
It’s a difficult subject to bring up, hopefully he gets into a system and never reverts back. Sometimes we just need a push.
I’ve lived with men all my life but never heard of anything like that extreme. But when I was young and shared a big 7 room townhouse with mostly girls, that was the most disgusting house I’ve ever lived in. The bathrooms especially 😬 won’t give you the visuals... so it’s not a boy problem, women are just as bad.click to expand
Omg I know what you are talking about! College dorms girls bathroom was insanely disgusting like wtf?? Lol ew
I don’t think it’s his norm. due to Covid, his business actually skyrocketed and he’s still two weeks behind on work related stuff. So let’s hope not!!
Posted by aquarius09Posted by IsoldePosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by Isolde
Men that are so busy working hard playing hard, know there’s a industry called house cleaners
Are you in loving rship?
Why would that make a difference
Because to that dxp user your worth is defined by you having a man and your opinion counts only if you have a man/can keep a man. Welcome to the dark ages!click to expand
I was always against home cleaners tbh, but so many married couples and long term relationship people with kids have managed to convince me otherwise.
There’s only 3 of us at work that don’t have cleaners, everyone else does.
Posted by MrsElleCappysnatchPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by pinkbird03Posted by LadyNeptune
Sometimes I baby him, sometimes he babies me. But it’s important for there to be a give and take. If he’s not making an effort back your gonna start resenting him. Especially when he thrashes those spaces and all your effort is wasted.
Your relationship seems balance and that’s very important. My guy gives in other ways. He pays for most things (breakfast, lunch, dinner, groceries) and he has cooked me dinner a bunch of times. As well as a bunch of little things that don’t go unnoticed. I don’t feel used. If anything I feel like our relationship grew a tiny because we got to know each other in a different area of our lives.
Good. As long as there is that balance and effort on both sides then it’ll work. Society tells you there is only one or 2 ways to be but the reality is your relationship is between the 2 of you, no one else.
This ^^^
I don't have the most conventional relationship but I'm the happiest in this one than I've ever been. You have to find that balance and often times it doesn't look like what society told us it would look like...and there is nothing wrong with that.click to expand
Yes, it’s figuring out how to work as a team for your relationship. I definitely don’t do his yard work.
Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?
Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.
Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔
Lol at the boat
It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧
It taught me how not to be....
Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉click to expand
I think he could have lived like this for months to come. He stopped using the toliet and sink in dirty bathroom. He kept washing the same clothes and wearing them over and over again.
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by pinkbird03Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by pinkbird03Posted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Oh I could see myself being the one that cleans the upstairs. The downstairs always looks presentable. He knows what he’s doing.
Of course he does .... keep your 👀 on him
lol oh I will.
You're a good kind woman....make sue he honours that. Cancer women tend to be too soft and giving and out of all the signs I've noticed the ones that are taken advantage of. Moon ruled.....very nurturing and feminine, but even so.......
If it gets too much, send him off to a Scorpio dominatrix to whip him into shape .......... I'll give you my address 😈😂click to expand
😂😂😂 might need to eventually!!!
I know what you’re saying. I’m just the kind of person who always tries to do the right thing and be a good person even if it doesn’t make a difference. In my heart, it does
Posted by pinkbird03Posted by IsoldePosted by pinkbird03Posted by IsoldePosted by pinkbird03Posted by ibreatheoxygin
you are a fucking maid baby
He did ask how much he owed me for cleaning. I said a good dinner.
At least you guys have a humour about it and he didn’t get offended 😃
He was definitely embarrassed by it. Over a month ago he made a comment about me not looking around... and I was thinking what are you hiding—? Ummm yep. I think he’s comfortable enough with me because I never really judge him.
It’s a difficult subject to bring up, hopefully he gets into a system and never reverts back. Sometimes we just need a push.
I’ve lived with men all my life but never heard of anything like that extreme. But when I was young and shared a big 7 room townhouse with mostly girls, that was the most disgusting house I’ve ever lived in. The bathrooms especially 😬 won’t give you the visuals... so it’s not a boy problem, women are just as bad.
Omg I know what you are talking about! College dorms girls bathroom was insanely disgusting like wtf?? Lol ew
I don’t think it’s his norm. due to Covid, his business actually skyrocketed and he’s still two weeks behind on work related stuff. So let’s hope not!!click to expand
Yup, you remember. Women are filthy especially with all the hair down the drain. Gross
Congrats to him on his business boom
Posted by PhoenixStormPosted by pinkbird03Posted by PhoenixStormPosted by pinkbird03Posted by PhoenixStorm
I do to a degree (cancer moon)
But my nagging is more about safety. I’ll say stuff like drive safe, I’ll yell at him for texting while driving, if he’s sick I’ll try nursing him back to health.. stuff like that. But I don’t really nag about messy car or messy house etc.
I didn’t nag about him cleaning. I just did it because I couldn’t handle stepping on the same pile of clean clothes for a month. Your man must not be too bad if it didn’t bother u
I was not saying that you were nagging. To be honest I didn’t even read your entire post I just read the question in the headline. And I don’t have a man currently, I’m speaking in general about my tendencies.
Gotcha. So it seems like everyone takes care of their man. So it’s not always technically mommying them.
I think it’s kind of cute and endearing lol it shows that we careclick to expand
Absolutely!
Posted by pinkbird03Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?
Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.
Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔
Lol at the boat
It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧
It taught me how not to be....
Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉
I think he could have lived like this for months to come. He stopped using the toliet and sink in dirty bathroom. He kept washing the same clothes and wearing them over and over again.click to expand
Yes. That’s who he is. So what I’m saying is doing it for him is enabling, and not letting him get to the point of deciding to clean it up. It’s fine one time. But always, you get to keep the baby not have him grow up. Just like children....
Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by pinkbird03Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?
Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.
Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔
Lol at the boat
It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧
It taught me how not to be....
Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉
I think he could have lived like this for months to come. He stopped using the toliet and sink in dirty bathroom. He kept washing the same clothes and wearing them over and over again.
Yes. That’s who he is. So what I’m saying is doing it for him is enabling, and not letting him get to the point of deciding to clean it up. It’s fine one time. But always, you get to keep the baby not have him grow up. Just like children....click to expand
Yea, I mean he does clean some things. It’s not all me. He’s always cleaning the boat. But I guess he just doesn’t care about laundry and that bathroom.
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by aquarius09Posted by IsoldePosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by Isolde
Men that are so busy working hard playing hard, know there’s a industry called house cleaners
Are you in loving rship?
Why would that make a difference
Because to that dxp user your worth is defined by you having a man and your opinion counts only if you have a man/can keep a man. Welcome to the dark ages!
Another happy single here?
Are you the one who’s granny never made her special recipe pie nor cookie? New age family deprived child? 🤷♀️click to expand
Nice try. Nope. My mom worked and raised us and my dad wasn’t a manchild slob who had to be babied and catered to the way you are promoting.
@PuzzlesPieces is right. You think your doing the right thing by trying to rewrite is his childhood. You aren't. Men like this will use you as long as they can but crave someone who treats them badly and take you for granted. It's how it goes. My ex had a crappy gf before me so I thought I'd try to be the opposite of her. Got nowhere! Only people who can take care of themselves can appreciate giving and reciving.
Posted by pinkbird03Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by pinkbird03Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?
Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.
Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔
Lol at the boat
It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧
It taught me how not to be....
Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉
I think he could have lived like this for months to come. He stopped using the toliet and sink in dirty bathroom. He kept washing the same clothes and wearing them over and over again.
Yes. That’s who he is. So what I’m saying is doing it for him is enabling, and not letting him get to the point of deciding to clean it up. It’s fine one time. But always, you get to keep the baby not have him grow up. Just like children....
Yea, I mean he does clean some things. It’s not all me. He’s always cleaning the boat. But I guess he just doesn’t care about laundry and that bathroom.click to expand
Yep. He does what he cares about. Soooo don’t do it for him, you’re not even living there.
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by SagInTheSun898
Yes. It's a bad idea with no reward. We have to all take care of ourselves in partnerships. Learning this lesson. Boundaries are important!
How happily single are you?click to expand
I am lot happier than being used by a man. I'll tell you that
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by aquarius09Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by aquarius09Posted by IsoldePosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by Isolde
Men that are so busy working hard playing hard, know there’s a industry called house cleaners
Are you in loving rship?
Why would that make a difference
Because to that dxp user your worth is defined by you having a man and your opinion counts only if you have a man/can keep a man. Welcome to the dark ages!
Another happy single here?
Are you the one who’s granny never made her special recipe pie nor cookie? New age family deprived child? 🤷♀️
Nice try. Nope. My mom worked and raised us and my dad wasn’t a manchild slob who had to be babied and catered to the way you are promoting.
So what’s your current rship situation?
50/50 on everything?
Something tells me you aren’t in...click to expand
All these wrong guesses. LOL. Why are you bothering with your old fashion regressive guesses?
You think that all women who are in relationships are doing what you did to stay in one? Are you in an arranged marriage? Are you financially independent? Are you confident? Do you need to keep a man happy or stay in a relationship as performance evaluation of your femininity? I have your regressive psyche figured and I’m disgusted.
Posted by pinkbird03Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by pinkbird03Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by pinkbird03Posted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Oh I could see myself being the one that cleans the upstairs. The downstairs always looks presentable. He knows what he’s doing.
Of course he does .... keep your 👀 on him
lol oh I will.
You're a good kind woman....make sue he honours that. Cancer women tend to be too soft and giving and out of all the signs I've noticed the ones that are taken advantage of. Moon ruled.....very nurturing and feminine, but even so.......
If it gets too much, send him off to a Scorpio dominatrix to whip him into shape .......... I'll give you my address 😈😂
😂😂😂 might need to eventually!!!
I know what you’re saying. I’m just the kind of person who always tries to do the right thing and be a good person even if it doesn’t make a difference. In my heart, it doesclick to expand
Haha the poor guy would be scarred for life 😮
😘 to you
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by pinkbird03Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by pinkbird03Posted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Oh I could see myself being the one that cleans the upstairs. The downstairs always looks presentable. He knows what he’s doing.
Of course he does .... keep your 👀 on him
lol oh I will.
You're a good kind woman....make sue he honours that. Cancer women tend to be too soft and giving and out of all the signs I've noticed the ones that are taken advantage of. Moon ruled.....very nurturing and feminine, but even so.......
If it gets too much, send him off to a Scorpio dominatrix to whip him into shape .......... I'll give you my address 😈😂
I thought you put a stamp on Aries...with bad word engraved...lolclick to expand
Aww no, my dad was one and my last lover too and i cared about them .... it’s just I’ve little patience for the man child thing 🥴
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by ibreatheoxygin
you are a fucking maid baby
So what?
Describe you. 🤔click to expand
you send me some pics first then well talk
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?
Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.
Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔
Lol at the boat
It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧
It taught me how not to be....
I refuse to equal doormat and carrying woman!
What’s doormaty in being happy housewife?
Actually seeing your kids after school instead of having them being taken care of by streets or strangers? Cooking home made meals? Being praised for how tasty it is...
I am actually very sad is that new generation won’t have memories of grandmothers and mothers pies and soups and secret recipes ANYTHING!
It makes me feel like that’s why we came to where we are now because of women STOPPED being housewives! Not doormats!click to expand
You’d have to ask my mum ... I quoted her words
Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?
Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.
Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔
Lol at the boat
It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧
It taught me how not to be....
Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉click to expand
Yes it’s actually unkind to stunt a persons growth that way.
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?
Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.
Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔
Lol at the boat
It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧
It taught me how not to be....
Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉
Yes it’s actually unkind to stunt a persons growth that way.click to expand
Yes I agree.
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?
Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.
Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔
Lol at the boat
It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧
It taught me how not to be....
Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉
Yes it’s actually unkind to stunt a persons growth that way.click to expand
Plus I think what you see long term is a lot of people getting divorced & men not being able to take care of themselves. Either they go right to another caretaker or they learn and are really pissed the ex was so controlling “I couldn’t do anything right”. They are NOT appreciating or remembering all she did for them.
So what’s the term - emasculating?
So is this what men really want? Or do they actually want to grow with you like partners..
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by SagInTheSun898Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by SagInTheSun898
Yes. It's a bad idea with no reward. We have to all take care of ourselves in partnerships. Learning this lesson. Boundaries are important!
How happily single are you?
I am lot happier than being used by a man. I'll tell you that
See? All of you smartasses are single and will stay single. Because you weren’t thought family values!
And if you are thinking of housekeeping as being used by man - you have a serious problem woman...click to expand
Nope. I did more for my boyfriend than even this chick did and it got me no where. Acting like a 50's house wife will not get you love or commitment. Only respect does. And the more you do for someone the less they will. It's the harsh truth.
Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by pinkbird03Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by pinkbird03Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?
Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.
Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔
Lol at the boat
It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧
It taught me how not to be....
Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉
I think he could have lived like this for months to come. He stopped using the toliet and sink in dirty bathroom. He kept washing the same clothes and wearing them over and over again.
Yes. That’s who he is. So what I’m saying is doing it for him is enabling, and not letting him get to the point of deciding to clean it up. It’s fine one time. But always, you get to keep the baby not have him grow up. Just like children....
Yea, I mean he does clean some things. It’s not all me. He’s always cleaning the boat. But I guess he just doesn’t care about laundry and that bathroom.
Yep. He does what he cares about. Soooo don’t do it for him, you’re not even living there.click to expand
He’s offered to pay me. I didn’t let him. I’m okay with it. It’s not like I’m busy.
Posted by thatlibralifePosted by Timon
It's very cancerian to want to baby their man like that. I just couldn't. Ofc I would help and contribute but I can't be with someone who can't take care of their own shit...literally speaking. 🤣🤣🤣
But I'm a libra snob. 😅🤣
I’m not if that’s really a Cancer trait because I know of a Cancer lady who never cooked for her guy and who would party all night and sleep in late....
But anywho I don’t mind helping but it needs to be a two way street. I don’t want to be the only one cleaning if we are both working. That would tick me off. I think hiring a housekeeper once a week at least is a great idea if you can afford it and are living together. It’s about balance and working as a team imo. My ex husband was a straight up slob. Wouldn’t even take out the trash. Yet we were both working full time. Expected me to clean the pissy toilet he crapped all over with a smile. And he wonders why I eventually bailed on his ass...click to expand
I’m not working full time right now so I don’t mind. Two way street is important. I once had a similar bf to yours that I felt it was uneven... not with cleaning (we were in college) but with money and I hated it. So I get the frustration
Posted by thatlibralifePosted by Timon
It's very cancerian to want to baby their man like that. I just couldn't. Ofc I would help and contribute but I can't be with someone who can't take care of their own shit...literally speaking. 🤣🤣🤣
But I'm a libra snob. 😅🤣
I’m not if that’s really a Cancer trait because I know of a Cancer lady who never cooked for her guy and who would party all night and sleep in late....
But anywho I don’t mind helping but it needs to be a two way street. I don’t want to be the only one cleaning if we are both working. That would tick me off. I think hiring a housekeeper once a week at least is a great idea if you can afford it and are living together. It’s about balance and working as a team imo. My ex husband was a straight up slob. Wouldn’t even take out the trash. Yet we were both working full time. Expected me to clean the pissy toilet he crapped all over with a smile. And he wonders why I eventually bailed on his ass...click to expand
You know us so well, never met a crab that would put up with that. We like being useful/helpful but never serve hand and foot.
And our beauty sleep is everything
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by SagInTheSun898Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by SagInTheSun898Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by SagInTheSun898
Yes. It's a bad idea with no reward. We have to all take care of ourselves in partnerships. Learning this lesson. Boundaries are important!
How happily single are you?
I am lot happier than being used by a man. I'll tell you that
See? All of you smartasses are single and will stay single. Because you weren’t thought family values!
And if you are thinking of housekeeping as being used by man - you have a serious problem woman...
Nope. I did more for my boyfriend than even this chick did and it got me no where. Acting like a 50's house wife will not get you love or commitment. Only respect does. And the more you do for someone the less they will. It's the harsh truth.
See...it’s not the same.
‘This chick’ is the way she is naturally. And she won’t change. If you did it genuinely yoi wouldn’t be bitter and angry now. He probably felt it as a put on and trap!click to expand
No it was natural. Believe me, I have a cancer rising. But it's a unhealthy behavior I realized. You can't be responsible for other people in that way. It's too much.
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by ibreatheoxyginPosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by ibreatheoxygin
you are a fucking maid baby
So what?
Describe you. 🤔
you send me some pics first then well talk
That’s stupid. I said describe your happy single status...not your hip size...click to expand
and i asked you to get naked
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by ibreatheoxyginPosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by ibreatheoxyginPosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by ibreatheoxygin
you are a fucking maid baby
So what?
Describe you. 🤔
you send me some pics first then well talk
That’s stupid. I said describe your happy single status...not your hip size...
and i asked you to get naked
I’ve got my answer. Piss off now...click to expand
you piss off
Ugh I’d never do that for a boyfriend. I do things here and there for my husband but thankfully he’s a Libra and likes his spaces to be kept neat. Also get a house cleaner at least a couple times a month.
Posted by pinkbird03Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by pinkbird03Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by pinkbird03Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?
Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.
Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔
Lol at the boat
It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧
It taught me how not to be....
Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉
I think he could have lived like this for months to come. He stopped using the toliet and sink in dirty bathroom. He kept washing the same clothes and wearing them over and over again.
Yes. That’s who he is. So what I’m saying is doing it for him is enabling, and not letting him get to the point of deciding to clean it up. It’s fine one time. But always, you get to keep the baby not have him grow up. Just like children....
Yea, I mean he does clean some things. It’s not all me. He’s always cleaning the boat. But I guess he just doesn’t care about laundry and that bathroom.
Yep. He does what he cares about. Soooo don’t do it for him, you’re not even living there.
He’s offered to pay me. I didn’t let him. I’m okay with it. It’s not like I’m busy.click to expand
That’s not the point. He’s training you. You refuse payment?
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by ibreatheoxyginPosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by ibreatheoxyginPosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by ibreatheoxyginPosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by ibreatheoxygin
you are a fucking maid baby
So what?
Describe you. 🤔
you send me some pics first then well talk
That’s stupid. I said describe your happy single status...not your hip size...
and i asked you to get naked
I’ve got my answer. Piss off now...
you piss off
You can’t even use your own words to tell me off...child...🖕click to expand
i dont need to, thats what i got you for
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?
Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.
Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔
Lol at the boat
It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧
It taught me how not to be....
Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉
Yes it’s actually unkind to stunt a persons growth that way.
Plus I think what you see long term is a lot of people getting divorced & men not being able to take care of themselves. Either they go right to another caretaker or they learn and are really pissed the ex was so controlling “I couldn’t do anything right”. They are NOT appreciating or remembering all she did for them.
So what’s the term - emasculating?
So is this what men really want? Or do they actually want to grow with you like partners..
It’s a joke right? Everybody can take care of themselves IF need to be. What are they going to do...lay down and die?click to expand
Of course they can if you let them!
Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Do we have to take worse case scenario and instead of seeing her being a woman in love - seeing her as a beginning of the natural disaster that might never happen?
Aries hopefully description is right - don’t take advantage. If he sees her doing this FOR HIM - it’s only better for their relashionship.
Of course you aren’t an Aries fan...and you probably still thinking of him not taking her in a boat...but life is life and let’s see...🤔
Lol at the boat
It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧
It taught me how not to be....
Yep. I don’t think men appreciate the enabling long term. Women basically get taken advantage of for their “niceness” or is it controlling ways.. deciding how the household should be handled, and if you don’t do it right, I’ll just do it for you. It certainly doesn’t help men grow up, just like children 😉
Yes it’s actually unkind to stunt a persons growth that way.
Plus I think what you see long term is a lot of people getting divorced & men not being able to take care of themselves. Either they go right to another caretaker or they learn and are really pissed the ex was so controlling “I couldn’t do anything right”. They are NOT appreciating or remembering all she did for them.
So what’s the term - emasculating?
So is this what men really want? Or do they actually want to grow with you like partners..click to expand
It’d make you wonder!
Liking your wisdom here. Yes I believe raise a boy to be a man and then he won’t need a second mummy
Posted by PulsyPosted by pinkbird03Posted by Pulsy
Have him hire a house cleaner!!
There’s nothing wrong with me doing it.
Ok just don’t get resentful to do this for lifeclick to expand
But resentful is exactly what seeps in when Cancer isn’t able to secure a stable relationship in exchange for all their mommy services. My Cancer guy friends who had a crush on me used to daddy me (with an ulterior motive that they would get me as more than a friend). I didn’t like anyone of them more than friends and I don’t like being babied. Care was nice but babying was too much. As they came forward with their confessions and I rejected, their resentful comments of “I did all this for you!” “How could you not see me as more than a friend when I’ve done...” I learned through repeated interactions with this sign to know why it’s deemed manipulative. They want to buy you and your love and when it doesn’t materialize, you are gonna hear all the things they’ve done for you.
I also have two female Cancer friends who do alllll the above and more for their men and it’s come back to bite them in their ass and they are resentful for it because they weren’t able keep the man they did all of it for.
Posted by aquarius09Posted by PulsyPosted by pinkbird03Posted by Pulsy
Have him hire a house cleaner!!
There’s nothing wrong with me doing it.
Ok just don’t get resentful to do this for life
I also have two female Cancer friends who do alllll the above and more for their men and it’s come back to bite them in their ass and they are resentful for it because they weren’t able keep the man they did all of it for.click to expand
I have seen that play out with Cancer women too 😬
Posted by aquarius09Posted by PulsyPosted by pinkbird03Posted by Pulsy
Have him hire a house cleaner!!
There’s nothing wrong with me doing it.
Ok just don’t get resentful to do this for life
But resentful is exactly what seeps in when Cancer isn’t able to secure a stable relationship in exchange for all their mommy services. My Cancer guy friends who had a crush on me used to daddy me (with an ulterior motive that they would get me as more than a friend). I didn’t like anyone of them more than friends and I don’t like being babied. Care was nice but babying was too much. As they came forward with their confessions and I rejected, their resentful comments of “I did all this for you!” “How could you not see me as more than a friend when I’ve done...” I learned through repeated interactions with this sign to know why it’s deemed manipulative. They want to buy you and your love and when it doesn’t materialize, you are gonna hear all the things they’ve done for you.
I also have two female Cancer friends who do alllll the above and more for their men and it’s come back to bite them in their ass and they are resentful for it because they weren’t able keep the man they did all of it for.click to expand
I’m not doing it to keep him. I’m doing it to be nice and to help him off. He’s helped me out with moving something heavy and driving it 45 minutes away. I do it to be a nice person.
Im born on the day of nurturing support and I’ve always been so inclined. I’ve found that I’ve often been in that role with guys which is fine up to a point. I love to nurture my loved ones, to take care of them, but that doesn’t mean I want that taken advantage of or that I want to be with someone who won’t take responsibility for themselves. Resentment can most def develop if he just expects it and does nothing to reciprocate. Now that I’m healthier, I’m seeing a pattern of why I attracted and was attracted to broken men subconsciously in need of mothering. Broken people attract just that. I’ve had to tell my last two significant others that I’m their partner and not their mother. I didn’t mind taking care of the one before this latest one bc he actually did so much to support me, I was just too broken to see it all. Unfortunate but at least I see that now. The most recent one I can see wants to be different but has something just holding him back. I think in that case, I enabled him to be irresponsible.
Now that I’m beating codependency, I can truly see a lot of things more clearly. Now that I’m making sure I’m not helping people to avoid working on/fixing myself, I’m attracted to more responsible, self sufficient men. Most of my serious relationships have been with men with mommy issues, mostly abusive ones, so I can see how I was attractive to them. And I was attracted to them bc I needed to take care of someone to avoid fixing my own flaws. Again, I don’t mind being nurturing, I quite like that about myself, but I need someone who respects that and reciprocates. Not necessarily in the same way but in other supportive ways. Reciprocity is all I really want in a loving relationship.
Now that I’m beating codependency, I can truly see a lot of things more clearly. Now that I’m making sure I’m not helping people to avoid working on/fixing myself, I’m attracted to more responsible, self sufficient men. Most of my serious relationships have been with men with mommy issues, mostly abusive ones, so I can see how I was attractive to them. And I was attracted to them bc I needed to take care of someone to avoid fixing my own flaws. Again, I don’t mind being nurturing, I quite like that about myself, but I need someone who respects that and reciprocates. Not necessarily in the same way but in other supportive ways. Reciprocity is all I really want in a loving relationship.
Posted by pinkbird03Posted by aquarius09Posted by PulsyPosted by pinkbird03Posted by Pulsy
Have him hire a house cleaner!!
There’s nothing wrong with me doing it.
Ok just don’t get resentful to do this for life
But resentful is exactly what seeps in when Cancer isn’t able to secure a stable relationship in exchange for all their mommy services. My Cancer guy friends who had a crush on me used to daddy me (with an ulterior motive that they would get me as more than a friend). I didn’t like anyone of them more than friends and I don’t like being babied. Care was nice but babying was too much. As they came forward with their confessions and I rejected, their resentful comments of “I did all this for you!” “How could you not see me as more than a friend when I’ve done...” I learned through repeated interactions with this sign to know why it’s deemed manipulative. They want to buy you and your love and when it doesn’t materialize, you are gonna hear all the things they’ve done for you.
I also have two female Cancer friends who do alllll the above and more for their men and it’s come back to bite them in their ass and they are resentful for it because they weren’t able keep the man they did all of it for.
I’m not doing it to keep him. I’m doing it to be nice and to help him off. He’s helped me out with moving something heavy and driving it 45 minutes away. I do it to be a nice person.click to expand
Yeah, but I’m sure you’re not cleaning everyone’s home or buying other people shampoos just because you’re a nice person. You are romantically interested in him and that’s why you do all these over the top nice things for him.
That’s fine, but remember, if things don’t pan out with this guy, you no longer have a right to be upset or resentful because you did it for the sole fact that you’re a nice person and not with an expectation, am I right?
Posted by aquarius09Posted by pinkbird03Posted by aquarius09Posted by PulsyPosted by pinkbird03Posted by Pulsy
Have him hire a house cleaner!!
There’s nothing wrong with me doing it.
Ok just don’t get resentful to do this for life
But resentful is exactly what seeps in when Cancer isn’t able to secure a stable relationship in exchange for all their mommy services. My Cancer guy friends who had a crush on me used to daddy me (with an ulterior motive that they would get me as more than a friend). I didn’t like anyone of them more than friends and I don’t like being babied. Care was nice but babying was too much. As they came forward with their confessions and I rejected, their resentful comments of “I did all this for you!” “How could you not see me as more than a friend when I’ve done...” I learned through repeated interactions with this sign to know why it’s deemed manipulative. They want to buy you and your love and when it doesn’t materialize, you are gonna hear all the things they’ve done for you.
I also have two female Cancer friends who do alllll the above and more for their men and it’s come back to bite them in their ass and they are resentful for it because they weren’t able keep the man they did all of it for.
I’m not doing it to keep him. I’m doing it to be nice and to help him off. He’s helped me out with moving something heavy and driving it 45 minutes away. I do it to be a nice person.
Yeah, but I’m sure you’re not cleaning everyone’s home or buying other people shampoos just because you’re a nice person. You are romantically interested in him and that’s why you do all these over the top nice things for him.
That’s fine, but remember, if things don’t pan out with this guy, you no longer have a right to be upset or resentful because you did it for the sole fact that you’re a nice person and not with an expectation, am I right?click to expand
Completely right. I’ve never been upset in the past over things I did that didn’t work out with a guy.
Posted by AbbyNormal
Im born on the day of nurturing support and I’ve always been so inclined. I’ve found that I’ve often been in that role with guys which is fine up to a point. I love to nurture my loved ones, to take care of them, but that doesn’t mean I want that taken advantage of or that I want to be with someone who won’t take responsibility for themselves. Resentment can most def develop if he just expects it and does nothing to reciprocate. Now that I’m healthier, I’m seeing a pattern of why I attracted and was attracted to broken men subconsciously in need of mothering. Broken people attract just that. I’ve had to tell my last two significant others that I’m their partner and not their mother. I didn’t mind taking care of the one before this latest one bc he actually did so much to support me, I was just too broken to see it all. Unfortunate but at least I see that now. The most recent one I can see wants to be different but has something just holding him back. I think in that case, I enabled him to be irresponsible.
Now that I’m beating codependency, I can truly see a lot of things more clearly. Now that I’m making sure I’m not helping people to avoid working on/fixing myself, I’m attracted to more responsible, self sufficient men. Most of my serious relationships have been with men with mommy issues, mostly abusive ones, so I can see how I was attractive to them. And I was attracted to them bc I needed to take care of someone to avoid fixing my own flaws. Again, I don’t mind being nurturing, I quite like that about myself, but I need someone who respects that and reciprocates. Not necessarily in the same way but in other supportive ways. Reciprocity is all I really want in a loving relationship.
I think that’s an important message. Not every guy is going to reciprocate, but some will and some will appreciate everything you do.
Posted by TimonPosted by pinkbird03Posted by TimonPosted by pinkbird03Posted by Timon
If his bathroom is really nasty I would probably leave and never come back. 🤣
So he has a master bathroom and a half bathroom that I use. Never too bad. Then there’s another bathroom outside the bedroom that only he uses and has the door mostly shut. I never went in it until last week and that’s when I discovered the dirtiest and smelliest bathroom I’ve ever seen......... took me over an hour to clean it. He even said he stopped using it because it was dirty 😅 except to shower. Master shower apparently isn’t good because u feel cold air so that’s why he used the other bathroom. But it looks great now!!
🤢 I can't believe you managed to clean it. I feel sick just reading this and picturing what it must have looked like. Yuck!🤮 Lol.
Well, well done. I would never have managed. I would probably have screamed and had nightmares about it. 🤣
Iol it was bad lol then I opened a closet and a huge mountain of dirty smelly clothes! Lots of surprises this week. He thought it was funny.
In the end if you're both happy doing what you're doing I guess that's all that matters but just make sure you don't get taken for granted. I hope he's appreciating it. From my experience aries tend to walk over girls that are too nice and accommodating.click to expand
I agree with all this ..... they need a strong woman to keep them in line.
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Anybody else experience this?
This has happened to me twice in my life. The first time when I was 20.
Why is it that while searching for that person ho you long to meet, they turns up unexpectedly at the wrong time in your life?
Then..
On the flip side
How would you feel if you were dating someone but found out later on in the relationship that he/she slept with someone else before you were "exclusive"?
I personally would have serious reservations about moving forward with the relationship but my perce
Just wondering... do you believe that couples can get along 100% of the time? Do you fight or argue with your partner? If so, how often? And what are your zodiac signs?
I fight with my boyfriend A LOT, and I think I already got used to it. At first I did
Lol at the boat
It's just that my very patient mother after enabling my Aries father to stay in a baby state until he was old said to me she regretted being such a doormat all her life. She actually died quite unhappy. Of course he'd had a great time with " mummy " 👶🏻 👧
It taught me how not to be....