30 Days No Contact

Hey guys,

I know there's been threads on this but just stick with me here...

Have you done 30 Days No Contact? What did you discover about yourself, the other party and the relationship after? What were some final conclusions at the end? 🙂

What is the purpose of this?

Posted by RooSagicorn

No. If I don’t contact, it’s for a whole lot more than 30 days!! I’m pissed and screw you lmao

lol yeah "death by NC for 30 days" lol

If I’m going no contact there is no relationship after. Period.

Damn....

it's cold in here...

Posted by tctaap

Posted by RooSagicorn

No. If I don’t contact, it’s for a whole lot more than 30 days!! I’m pissed and screw you lmao

lol yeah "death by NC for 30 days" lol

click to expand

*kiss of death* lol

Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by tctaap

Posted by RooSagicorn

No. If I don’t contact, it’s for a whole lot more than 30 days!! I’m pissed and screw you lmao

lol yeah "death by NC for 30 days" lol

😂😂

I don’t see the point, and plus seems manipulative. I don’t do that. If you are not all that into me than why am I wasting my time? Not. Most of the time they need to get my attention anyway.. 🤷‍♀️

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That's an interesting perspective...

I forget about people and will do this on accident. If I'm upset I will do this too, it usually ruins things for me though 🙂

If I like the person, I will try it, but by the time 30 days is up and it's time to contact, most times I will lose interest and just think "Oh well" since they didn't contact me either. Must not be meant to be! 😆

Yes. It’s a good idea. I honestly don’t know why people are so upset about it on here, noticed it’s mainly women.

The thing is, if you do breakup with someone, and there are emotions.. then just give it some time to get back and find yourself and what you really want. If the girl messages you in that time then you know she’s thinking of you, if she doesn’t then you know she isn’t thinking about you, and either way you win. I don’t think it works in every situation, obviously. It gives them chance to miss you and maybe you will find out if they miss you, but it depends on the person. 30 days actually sounds too long, it depends on you and the other person. Usually you get a feeling what they are going to be feeling? But just make sure your feelings are correct.

It would help if you were more specific though, as for example, they break up with you.. then don’t message them ever again, they will at first think they can get back with you at any time they want... but they will then start to wonder.. what are you actually doing? And can they get you back?.... so if you message you have no chance, but actually not messaging might give you a chance.

But we do these stupid games, knowing that they are stupid and utterly pointless... but we have to do them anyway... it’s part of life. If you didn’t then you would have no chance, and all these women saying they want a guy straight up... it’s rubbish.. of course they don’t, they label him as ‘nice guy’ or low value. Anyway good luck dude, and don’t listen to women give you advice about getting women.

Yes. Why? I fell in love with someone undeserving of my love. No sex involved. Purely an intellectual connection. #sapio So these feelings were very sudden and strong.

I wanted friendship but learned of his disrespectful and annoying ways #aquarius

So, I put him in the trash where he belonged. #theend

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Yes

It was my attempt to give myself space to heal.

In the end, my feelings never change. By the end of the 30 days I still want to be with him.

We’ve done it twice and both times we came together. But we both needed time to refocus our n ourselves.

Damn... so after 30 days you realize you still feel the same. Then what'd you do?

Posted by heliumfiasco

What is the purpose of this?

hhmm to detach from a one-sided situation.

I suppose I'm afraid I'll still feel the same. I'm hoping I can detach from my romantic feelings and after 30 days be friends.

I did no contact for ten weeks. It allowed us to become friends. But it’s hard to be friends when there’s still feels. So I gave him up for lent.

Done it and discovered that I actually didn't need any negativity in my life, so I kept doing no contact, till this day he's ads is blocked everywhere and will stay that way to eternity

I never ever go backwards, whatever has been left in the past stays there.

You don't ever lick whatever has been spat out

I did no contact for 5 months. Not by choice, I just didn't hear from trh guy, and as I recall I don't believe I contacted him during that time. Not totally sure though.

I felt almost completely the same and I think I actually took it as another chance and him having gotten his feelings straight and realized he cared for me. Turns out it was just the same bs all over again 😂

I don't think you can take no contact for a while and then get back in touch as friends, when you have feelings there and want more. It's something else entirely if you were pissed off at each other or things just drifted apart.

No contact is to basically detatch from that unhealthy relationship. And then hopefully after a while you feel relieved that this person is out of your life and you can breath again, not worry all the time about being good enough and what you are and spin out trying to get to some sort of root of the problem. It's just not right. The only thing that is right, is that it's wrong. And that's why you feel like this 😉

Posted by Black-Mamba

It depends

Unrequited love is hard tho. You can waste so much time on the wrong person

Maybe you need a complete break and forget the friendship

Yeah!! That’s why 30 days No Contact feels like a good introductory way to get there. Some people are too hard to just cut off for me 🤦‍♀️

Posted by pinkbird03

I did no contact for ten weeks. It allowed us to become friends. But it’s hard to be friends when there’s still feels. So I gave him up for lent.

Wow 10 weeks is a long time! So it was a unrequited love thing?

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by pinkbird03

I did no contact for ten weeks. It allowed us to become friends. But it’s hard to be friends when there’s still feels. So I gave him up for lent.

Wow 10 weeks is a long time! So it was a unrequited love thing?

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Yea. I still think he has feelings for me, but not enough for a relationship.

I have a cap friend who likes to leech on my intellect always asking me opinion on everything which gets annoying after some time because I tend to be independent and solve my own problems. I am a gemini.

Cap Friend: hey, “ask question”

Me: *left her on read* and might reply a few hours later

Cap Friend: don’t leave me on read

Me: *left her on read*

Cap Friend: if you ever leave me on read again I will not reply you.

Me: *left her on read*

I would go nc for weeks and reply when I am in the mood lol.

Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by heliumfiasco

What is the purpose of this?

hhmm to detach from a one-sided situation.

I suppose I'm afraid I'll still feel the same. I'm hoping I can detach from my romantic feelings and after 30 days be friends.

Well space does help you detach but it doesn’t make feelings go away. It helps to make them go dormant. It’s pretty easy for them to come to life again. I had to work through my feelings with the Cap. 6 months of no contact & I was still hurting.. it’s a process & slowly gets better but facing it is what really works. I saw him after 11 months and omg the chemistry was completely all still there.. no wonder i refused to see him for 5 months. Cuz it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t work. But it’s a huge connection.

Then there is the Leo who came after me after 18 years of no contact. Funny the first time we talked on the phone he said omg it’s the same! Connection never dies. So you have to deal with it. Better if you can become friends. That’s what the Leo & I did.

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how do you deal with it?

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by pinkbird03

I did no contact for ten weeks. It allowed us to become friends. But it’s hard to be friends when there’s still feels. So I gave him up for lent.

Wow 10 weeks is a long time! So it was a unrequited love thing?

Yea. I still think he has feelings for me, but not enough for a relationship.

click to expand

boo 😢 sorry to hear. Were you able to move on?

Are you gonna do it?

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by pinkbird03

I did no contact for ten weeks. It allowed us to become friends. But it’s hard to be friends when there’s still feels. So I gave him up for lent.

Wow 10 weeks is a long time! So it was a unrequited love thing?

Yea. I still think he has feelings for me, but not enough for a relationship.

boo 😢 sorry to hear. Were you able to move on?

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No. I still care. Being friends and trying to build our friendship basically made getting over him start all over again. It’s been two weeks since we talked. We aren’t on bad terms. He still watches all my stories on snap. Part of me thinks he doesn’t want me to fully move on or go away.

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by pinkbird03

I did no contact for ten weeks. It allowed us to become friends. But it’s hard to be friends when there’s still feels. So I gave him up for lent.

Wow 10 weeks is a long time! So it was a unrequited love thing?

Yea. I still think he has feelings for me, but not enough for a relationship.

boo 😢 sorry to hear. Were you able to move on?

No. I still care. Being friends and trying to build our friendship basically made getting over him start all over again. It’s been two weeks since we talked. We aren’t on bad terms. He still watches all my stories on snap. Part of me thinks he doesn’t want me to fully move on or go away.

click to expand

wow so then what im learning from your story is that may be it's not a good idea to even attempt being friends...

I should keep trying to extend my 30 days until I've completely moved on.

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by pinkbird03

I did no contact for ten weeks. It allowed us to become friends. But it’s hard to be friends when there’s still feels. So I gave him up for lent.

Wow 10 weeks is a long time! So it was a unrequited love thing?

Yea. I still think he has feelings for me, but not enough for a relationship.

boo 😢 sorry to hear. Were you able to move on?

No. I still care. Being friends and trying to build our friendship basically made getting over him start all over again. It’s been two weeks since we talked. We aren’t on bad terms. He still watches all my stories on snap. Part of me thinks he doesn’t want me to fully move on or go away.

wow so then what im learning from your story is that may be it's not a good idea to even attempt being friends...

I should keep trying to extend my 30 days until I've completely moved on.

click to expand

Yes. It’s definitely best. Hopefully I’ll follow it through this time.

Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by heliumfiasco

What is the purpose of this?

hhmm to detach from a one-sided situation.

I suppose I'm afraid I'll still feel the same. I'm hoping I can detach from my romantic feelings and after 30 days be friends.

Well space does help you detach but it doesn’t make feelings go away. It helps to make them go dormant. It’s pretty easy for them to come to life again. I had to work through my feelings with the Cap. 6 months of no contact & I was still hurting.. it’s a process & slowly gets better but facing it is what really works. I saw him after 11 months and omg the chemistry was completely all still there.. no wonder i refused to see him for 5 months. Cuz it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t work. But it’s a huge connection.

Then there is the Leo who came after me after 18 years of no contact. Funny the first time we talked on the phone he said omg it’s the same! Connection never dies. So you have to deal with it. Better if you can become friends. That’s what the Leo & I did.

how do you deal with it?

As an aqua moon I tend to push it down where it can’t hurt me, but the feelings show up at the worst times.. so with Cap I walked into the fire... saw him and dealt with it. Felt the feelings, let him promise me the world and then stand up for myself. You have to honor yourself above all. I have to face it til the hope is gone. I’m not hurt anymore. Do I miss him? Yes. But that’s okay to remember good memories. I deserve better so I can’t go there anymore.

With Leo, we started as friends. I’ve known him for 30+ years. We are back to friends & unconditional. Except he always hopes for someday. But I go do what’s good for me cuz it’s impossible as the circumstances are now. I guess the thing is we did not want to let go of the friendship.. when you have a person who is in your corner no matter what you keep them on your life somehow. So I dealt with things until I was detached enough to allow it. He’s there for me and has made a difference. So I have found a way to allow that. Of course, no one has been like the one I married was to me.. the Cap could’ve been but he wasn’t. So you go on... always think about what’s best for you & try to go that way.

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yeah I completely get the "face-it" and stand up for yourself.... I think like you said, the healing starts when you start doing what's the right thing for you.