Am I Handling This The Right Way?

Posted by LDM90
So I guess I’m in a friends with benefits situation? Or what ever it is that you want to call it. We haven’t established if this a friends with benefits or not, which is fine because I don’t want a relationship. I’m just confused because I feel like I’m being rude here lol. He set up a nice romantic date, cuddled and kissed after the first time we had sex, drove me home and we pecked as I got out of the car- just a gentleman about things.I never reach out to him (don’t want to blur any lines). He took a week to say something to me, but I did not respond to his message. He sent me another text a week after ( he sent me kissy faces) and I’m contemplating on if I should respond back or not lol. Since this is my first friends with benefits, how should communication go? I feel bad about ignoring his texts but I just want to make sure no lines are blurred. When I’m ready to do the do I’ll say something other than that I just don’t see the point in talking I guess. My girlfriends said to keep contact extremely limited as to not come off interested, but doing this just also seems rude.

Posted by KittenLaRouge

Posted by LDM90
So I guess I’m in a friends with benefits situation? Or what ever it is that you want to call it. We haven’t established if this a friends with benefits or not, which is fine because I don’t want a relationship. I’m just confused because I feel like I’m being rude here lol. He set up a nice romantic date, cuddled and kissed after the first time we had sex, drove me home and we pecked as I got out of the car- just a gentleman about things.I never reach out to him (don’t want to blur any lines). He took a week to say something to me, but I did not respond to his message. He sent me another text a week after ( he sent me kissy faces) and I’m contemplating on if I should respond back or not lol. Since this is my first friends with benefits, how should communication go? I feel bad about ignoring his texts but I just want to make sure no lines are blurred. When I’m ready to do the do I’ll say something other than that I just don’t see the point in talking I guess. My girlfriends said to keep contact extremely limited as to not come off interested, but doing this just also seems rude.

Men are fucked due to game players like u. Thanks!

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Posted by Flo

Posted by KittenLaRouge

Posted by LDM90
So I guess I’m in a friends with benefits situation? Or what ever it is that you want to call it. We haven’t established if this a friends with benefits or not, which is fine because I don’t want a relationship. I’m just confused because I feel like I’m being rude here lol. He set up a nice romantic date, cuddled and kissed after the first time we had sex, drove me home and we pecked as I got out of the car- just a gentleman about things.I never reach out to him (don’t want to blur any lines). He took a week to say something to me, but I did not respond to his message. He sent me another text a week after ( he sent me kissy faces) and I’m contemplating on if I should respond back or not lol. Since this is my first friends with benefits, how should communication go? I feel bad about ignoring his texts but I just want to make sure no lines are blurred. When I’m ready to do the do I’ll say something other than that I just don’t see the point in talking I guess. My girlfriends said to keep contact extremely limited as to not come off interested, but doing this just also seems rude.

Men are fucked due to game players like u. Thanks!

No, she's setting boundaries, apparently what you did not. She has respect and demands it, how it that?
She doesn't want to be in a relationship, if he knows he should respect that.
She doesn't want to blur lines; that's good, because it means shes serious.
She's not leading him on with fake appraisal and affection, it means she only wants sex and keep it FWB.

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Posted by LDM90

Posted by KittenLaRouge

Posted by LDM90
So I guess I’m in a friends with benefits situation? Or what ever it is that you want to call it. We haven’t established if this a friends with benefits or not, which is fine because I don’t want a relationship. I’m just confused because I feel like I’m being rude here lol. He set up a nice romantic date, cuddled and kissed after the first time we had sex, drove me home and we pecked as I got out of the car- just a gentleman about things.I never reach out to him (don’t want to blur any lines). He took a week to say something to me, but I did not respond to his message. He sent me another text a week after ( he sent me kissy faces) and I’m contemplating on if I should respond back or not lol. Since this is my first friends with benefits, how should communication go? I feel bad about ignoring his texts but I just want to make sure no lines are blurred. When I’m ready to do the do I’ll say something other than that I just don’t see the point in talking I guess. My girlfriends said to keep contact extremely limited as to not come off interested, but doing this just also seems rude.

Men are fucked due to game players like u. Thanks!

Look I'm only 22 with but so much experience. No one is trying to play any games. I clearly said I'm confused about how to handle things because the advice my friends gave me didn't seem right. There's no need to say I've ruined a guy because I'm a "game player". Also, not really sure how I can treetrunk a guy who's only in it for sex...

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Posted by Flo

Posted by KittenLaRouge

Posted by LDM90
So I guess I’m in a friends with benefits situation? Or what ever it is that you want to call it. We haven’t established if this a friends with benefits or not, which is fine because I don’t want a relationship. I’m just confused because I feel like I’m being rude here lol. He set up a nice romantic date, cuddled and kissed after the first time we had sex, drove me home and we pecked as I got out of the car- just a gentleman about things.I never reach out to him (don’t want to blur any lines). He took a week to say something to me, but I did not respond to his message. He sent me another text a week after ( he sent me kissy faces) and I’m contemplating on if I should respond back or not lol. Since this is my first friends with benefits, how should communication go? I feel bad about ignoring his texts but I just want to make sure no lines are blurred. When I’m ready to do the do I’ll say something other than that I just don’t see the point in talking I guess. My girlfriends said to keep contact extremely limited as to not come off interested, but doing this just also seems rude.

Men are fucked due to game players like u. Thanks!

No, she's setting boundaries, apparently what you did not. She has respect and demands it, how it that?
She doesn't want to be in a relationship, if he knows he should respect that.
She doesn't want to blur lines; that's good, because it means shes serious.
She's not leading him on with fake appraisal and affection, it means she only wants sex and keep it FWB.

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Posted by studio91

Posted by LDM90
So I guess I’m in a friends with benefits situation? Or what ever it is that you want to call it. We haven’t established if this a friends with benefits or not, which is fine because I don’t want a relationship. I’m just confused because I feel like I’m being rude here lol. He set up a nice romantic date, cuddled and kissed after the first time we had sex, drove me home and we pecked as I got out of the car- just a gentleman about things.I never reach out to him (don’t want to blur any lines). He took a week to say something to me, but I did not respond to his message. He sent me another text a week after ( he sent me kissy faces) and I’m contemplating on if I should respond back or not lol. Since this is my first friends with benefits, how should communication go? I feel bad about ignoring his texts but I just want to make sure no lines are blurred. When I’m ready to do the do I’ll say something other than that I just don’t see the point in talking I guess. My girlfriends said to keep contact extremely limited as to not come off interested, but doing this just also seems rude.

Is he fully aware that it's only friends with benefits?

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Posted by KittenLaRouge
So the mature way to handle a situation is ignore text? Lol dxp sure does have a lot of dim bulbs haha

Posted by sagiluv
Just be honest with the guy, don't ignore him or avoid him. He deserves some answers and honesty. Good luck!

Posted by tiziani

Posted by LDM90

Posted by sagiluv
Just be honest with the guy, don't ignore him or avoid him. He deserves some answers and honesty. Good luck!

I just assumed since he wanted sex as well there was nothing that we needed to discuss. I will give him the honesty that he deserves. Thanks for the advice!

How did you both set up the date, through texts, calls or some other way?

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Posted by tiziani

Posted by LDM90

Posted by tiziani

Posted by LDM90

Posted by sagiluv
Just be honest with the guy, don't ignore him or avoid him. He deserves some answers and honesty. Good luck!

I just assumed since he wanted sex as well there was nothing that we needed to discuss. I will give him the honesty that he deserves. Thanks for the advice!

How did you both set up the date, through texts, calls or some other way?

Via text. He asked a month in advance (I was busy with a very important paper so I had no free time) and brought it up multiple times to make sure we were still on lol. He put in a good amount of effort for the date I'll say that lol and he was a gentleman about things after sex as well (helped carry my things to the car the next day).

Ah ok. He's been consistent then. That deserves honesty in my book.

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Posted by studio91

Posted by studio91

Posted by LDM90
So I guess I’m in a friends with benefits situation? Or what ever it is that you want to call it. We haven’t established if this a friends with benefits or not, which is fine because I don’t want a relationship. I’m just confused because I feel like I’m being rude here lol. He set up a nice romantic date, cuddled and kissed after the first time we had sex, drove me home and we pecked as I got out of the car- just a gentleman about things.I never reach out to him (don’t want to blur any lines). He took a week to say something to me, but I did not respond to his message. He sent me another text a week after ( he sent me kissy faces) and I’m contemplating on if I should respond back or not lol. Since this is my first friends with benefits, how should communication go? I feel bad about ignoring his texts but I just want to make sure no lines are blurred. When I’m ready to do the do I’ll say something other than that I just don’t see the point in talking I guess. My girlfriends said to keep contact extremely limited as to not come off interested, but doing this just also seems rude.

Was it you 1st time aswell?

If the answer is YES then there you go, that's why his like that

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Posted by CruellaWhite
Yes, yes you are. I fully endorse this behavior. Unless you do something else in which case I fully endorse that too.

Posted by LDM90

He set up a nice romantic date

cuddled

kissed after the first time we had sex

drove me home

just a gentleman

Posted by LDM90

not really sure how I can treetrunk a guy who's only in it for sex...

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Posted by LDM90

No. We haven't actually talked about this. I just assumed that he was just in it for sex

Posted by Flo

Posted by KittenLaRouge

Posted by Flo

Posted by KittenLaRouge

Posted by LDM90
So I guess I’m in a friends with benefits situation? Or what ever it is that you want to call it. We haven’t established if this a friends with benefits or not, which is fine because I don’t want a relationship. I’m just confused because I feel like I’m being rude here lol. He set up a nice romantic date, cuddled and kissed after the first time we had sex, drove me home and we pecked as I got out of the car- just a gentleman about things.I never reach out to him (don’t want to blur any lines). He took a week to say something to me, but I did not respond to his message. He sent me another text a week after ( he sent me kissy faces) and I’m contemplating on if I should respond back or not lol. Since this is my first friends with benefits, how should communication go? I feel bad about ignoring his texts but I just want to make sure no lines are blurred. When I’m ready to do the do I’ll say something other than that I just don’t see the point in talking I guess. My girlfriends said to keep contact extremely limited as to not come off interested, but doing this just also seems rude.

Men are fucked due to game players like u. Thanks!

No, she's setting boundaries, apparently what you did not. She has respect and demands it, how it that?
She doesn't want to be in a relationship, if he knows he should respect that.
She doesn't want to blur lines; that's good, because it means shes serious.
She's not leading him on with fake appraisal and affection, it means she only wants sex and keep it FWB.

Bullshit she's purposely ignoring text. That's games if she wants friends with Bennys then woman up and tell the dude ignoring Is a game! Fuck!

Do not spread your butt hurt all over this thread. As a woman, she knows what she wants and what she deserves.

It would do you well to learn from this. Obviously how you've been treated before is lack of standards on your part.

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Posted by Flo

Posted by sagiluv
Just be honest with the guy, don't ignore him or avoid him. He deserves some answers and honesty. Good luck!

I agree with this.

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Posted by P-Angel

Posted by LDM90

No. We haven't actually talked about this. I just assumed that he was just in it for sex

How is that setting boundaries, Flo ... and why would Tiz agree with that?

So, you ignore texts, and you assume due to not having a conversation about it ... yet, people in here are saying that you're right because you've set boundaries.


what a bunch of morons .. the only making sense is Kitten

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Posted by tiziani

Ah ok. He's been consistent then. That deserves honesty in my book.

Posted by LDM90

Also, we can have dissenting opinions without calling people names.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by LDM90

Also, we can have dissenting opinions without calling people names.

You have zero integrity, judging from your actions you've described in here ... so why should I give a flying treetrunk what you think.


You're a player ... full stop.


which in my book makes you bleep.


if you can't handle that .. then I suggest you control what you say publicly online.

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Posted by LDM90

I feel like I’m being rude here

Posted by LDM90
So I guess I’m in a friends with benefits situation? Or what ever it is that you want to call it. We haven’t established if this a friends with benefits or not, which is fine because I don’t want a relationship. .

Posted by LDM90

Posted by tiziani

Posted by LDM90

Posted by sagiluv
Just be honest with the guy, don't ignore him or avoid him. He deserves some answers and honesty. Good luck!

I just assumed since he wanted sex as well there was nothing that we needed to discuss. I will give him the honesty that he deserves. Thanks for the advice!

How did you both set up the date, through texts, calls or some other way?

Via text. He asked a month in advance (I was busy with a very important paper so I had no free time) and brought it up multiple times to make sure we were still on lol. He put in a good amount of effort for the date I'll say that lol and he was a gentleman about things after sex as well (helped carry my things to the car the next day).

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Posted by truecap

Posted by LDM90
So I guess I’m in a friends with benefits situation? Or what ever it is that you want to call it. We haven’t established if this a friends with benefits or not, which is fine because I don’t want a relationship. .

Sounds to me like he thinks you're dating.

You better get this clarified, otherwise you're going to be like all these men we here about on here that women complain about for stringing them along.

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Posted by LDM90

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by LDM90

Also, we can have dissenting opinions without calling people names.

You have zero integrity, judging from your actions you've described in here ... so why should I give a flying treetrunk what you think.


You're a player ... full stop.


which in my book makes you bleep.


if you can't handle that .. then I suggest you control what you say publicly online.

And you're a raving lunatic so your point? I can take it. Never said that I couldn't. You are calling people names and going through each of their posts bashing them when they're giving their OPINIONS. Just because you don't agree doesn't mean you can be rude.

It says you're 57? You're that old and calling people c-nts? You seriously need some self reflection becsuse I didn't think people still used that awful word past high school. It seems you lack propriety. Even at 57 I still think there's time to learn.

You've done enough unnecessary talking here. You're dismissed.

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Posted by hera
@OP

define you relationship with him...set rules...talk about what you want and what he wants

Posted by LDM90

He set up a nice romantic date, cuddled and kissed after the first time we had sex, drove me home and we pecked as I got out of the car- just a gentleman about things

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Posted by LDM90

Posted by truecap

Posted by LDM90
So I guess I’m in a friends with benefits situation? Or what ever it is that you want to call it. We haven’t established if this a friends with benefits or not, which is fine because I don’t want a relationship. .

Sounds to me like he thinks you're dating.

You better get this clarified, otherwise you're going to be like all these men we here about on here that women complain about for stringing them along.

That's what my girlfriends think as well but him taking a week to reach out the first time we slept together makes me think he just wants sex as well. Either way I'll still clarify things with him. Thanks!

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Posted by truecap

Sounds to me like he thinks you're dating.

You better get this clarified, otherwise you're going to be like all these men we here about on here that women complain about for stringing them along.

Posted by truecap

Posted by LDM90

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by LDM90

Also, we can have dissenting opinions without calling people names.

You have zero integrity, judging from your actions you've described in here ... so why should I give a flying treetrunk what you think.


You're a player ... full stop.


which in my book makes you bleep.


if you can't handle that .. then I suggest you control what you say publicly online.

And you're a raving lunatic so your point? I can take it. Never said that I couldn't. You are calling people names and going through each of their posts bashing them when they're giving their OPINIONS. Just because you don't agree doesn't mean you can be rude.

It says you're 57? You're that old and calling people c-nts? You seriously need some self reflection becsuse I didn't think people still used that awful word past high school. It seems you lack propriety. Even at 57 I still think there's time to learn.

You've done enough unnecessary talking here. You're dismissed.

Honestly, I agree with P-Angel. if you can get past the harsh delivery, she has some insight that you might want to consider.

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Posted by P-Angel

Posted by hera
@OP

define you relationship with him...set rules...talk about what you want and what he wants

But, she's not defining the relationship with him, nor setting rules ... she's ignoring him

Posted by LDM90

He set up a nice romantic date, cuddled and kissed after the first time we had sex, drove me home and we pecked as I got out of the car- just a gentleman about things

She went on a romantic date with him




It should be obvious to every person who has a smidgeon of common sense that only players treat nice men like she is doing.

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Posted by LDM90

and me a c*nt.

Posted by hera

dont be so harsh all the time, some people need to make mistakes in order to learn

Posted by LDM90

and me a c*nt. That's beyond harsh

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by hera

dont be so harsh all the time, some people need to make mistakes in order to learn

Let me explain to you how life works, since you seem to not get it, even though you're living a life


You do things your way .... I do things my way

AND, some people need a kick in the ass in order to learn.


I don't give a rats ass what you like in terms of how I communicate to/with people.

I'm going to talk to her exactly as she deserves to be talked to. If a woman, any/all women, is a piece of shit in how she is treating a gentlemen who is treating her very well .. then she's deserving of getting verbally punched in the face.

What people get from me is aligned with what they say. If you're abusing a man, which she is ... then she is deserving of having her little feelings hurt.


It's not my problem if you can't handle real talk.

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Posted by Flo

Posted by hera

...i just said you can say things the other way as well...the nice way

Posted by hera

remember, you get what you give

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Posted by LadyNeptune
As long as you verbally set your expectations and boundaries from the beginning and make your intentions known your in the clear. If he catches feeling, wants a relationship, etc, that is on him.

He can't claim you led him on if you were upfront from the start.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by LadyNeptune
As long as you verbally set your expectations and boundaries from the beginning and make your intentions known your in the clear. If he catches feeling, wants a relationship, etc, that is on him.

He can't claim you led him on if you were upfront from the start.

But, she wasn't upfront from the beginning ... the opposite in fact.

she is ignoring him, actually .. and refusing to address this with him, and just assumes what he feels/wants


You obviously are only responding from the title and first sentence of the OP

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Posted by LadyNeptune
The above being said... fwb is very rarely successful, imo, unless the two people involved were platonic friends prior.

It's inevitable that one person in the equation becomes more emotionally envolved. If that person isn't you, then the humane thing is to walk away.