Dating men with multiple children

What's your feeling or thoughts on this?

dating is dating - anything further - then there is a boatload to consider - there is a big difference between baggage and cargo - make sure you keep your head about you ...

It's hard but then it may be ok. Just depends on how the kids treat you and if they like you. I know it's not therir decision but if you dealing with the dad you have to deal with his children. Dated a guy with 3 children and the issue was bc the mother of the two didn't want the kids around me. I did things with them and they would go back and tell her and that was it. She threatened him that he'd never see them if he continued to see me. My ex had a son and we all were great. No problems and the mom loved that fact she didn't have to help with activities or homework anymore. Lol. Just depends on the situation I guess. Just make the best of it!!!!

You're his next ex baby mamma.

I personally would prefer to meet a man with children - this is because I don't want children of my own, but I like the idea of being part of a family.

Also, if the man already has children there is presumably less/no pressure on me to have them. As a woman in my 30s, I'm aware that a guy my age is quite likely to want to have kids.

That said - I'm aware that the step mum situation is often a difficult one. But in an ideal world, if I could choose, I would like a relationship situation where it works out well for everyone and I'm there as an extra adult to support the children. *dreams*

Posted by tcta
dating is dating - anything further - then there is a boatload to consider - there is a big difference between baggage and cargo - make sure you keep your head about you ...

This was well said... actually though you may really look... at how he deal with the x. Could you deal with the situation as well as the kids. If you are looking for long term you should be looking at these things already.

PM

Or dating women with multiple baby daddies?

Posted by Explicit
If you don't have children, why date a man with children? Why deal with the ex wife? Why deal with all that drama?

Once you have children and your marriage or relationship didn't work, sorry, but the reality is, you have "baggage!"

And people who don't have baggage don't need to date someone with a lot of it. lol. Especially if you're wrong.

I have a friend whos in her 30s and has no desire to experience childbirth. However she has a ton of nieces and nephews and would love to adopt children at some point. She was herself adopted by her foster family and has talked about dating men with kids. To her its ideal.

Some women don't see the kids as baggage but as a positive.

I think as you get older many people in a certain age range are gonna have kids. It comes with the territory.

I heard that one ex-wife and children is baggage, 2 ex-wives and children is cargo - and I have experienced this and yes - the drama is insane and all the kids were grown - it was a few of the grown children and their children (grandchildren) that were still causing a big mess moving back into the house, not taking care of their children, fussing and fighting with the ex wives ... OMG!

My son married had 2 boys, then she got crazier than she was already and they got divorced. Now he is married again and has a third child and just recently admitted they've been going to counseling for about a year - that she is having issues with the first 2 boys and mother of those boys - she thinks maybe she should have stayed single or at least married a man who had no previous marriage and/or children - all this and she was so gun-ho to take this on when she met my son - saying, oh I understand he has the children and I will help take care of them ... that sure didn't last long -

Posted by WateryGem
What's your feeling or thoughts on this?

I get jealous and insecure with just one kid and one baby mama. More? Omg. Hell on earth.

Besides. I judge men with multiple baby mamas. Theyre no committal and love to shoot the club up.

Why many of you assume multiple babies=multiple mothers...? Is this a trend on your side of the ocean 🙂?

I don't have kids, so I see kids as a bonus but multiple baby mamma's- not so sure about that....

Posted by WateryGem
What's your feeling or thoughts on this?

I would never do this. First of all, i'm male myself and heterosexual...

One or 2 kids is ok. Preferably one. As long as there isn't any baby mama drama it's cool. I don't have kids & don't plan on having any either. I would adopt though.

Posted by Undine
Why many of you assume multiple babies=multiple mothers...? Is this a trend on your side of the ocean 🙂?

I did wonder why they assumed it was multiple mothers. The men I've encountered it's one mother with multiple kids.

Posted by piscesmoon2

Posted by tcta
dating is dating - anything further - then there is a boatload to consider - there is a big difference between baggage and cargo - make sure you keep your head about you ...

This was well said... actually though you may really look... at how he deal with the x. Could you deal with the situation as well as the kids. If you are looking for long term you should be looking at these things already.

PM

click to expand

I'm not sure if I would want to merge my family with someone else's. I have 3 kids of my own, so when I think of dating someone that has multiple it really feels overwhelming. What if I just dated someone and we kept that part of our lives separate is that too unrealistic? LOL

Posted by Explicit
If you don't have children, why date a man with children? Why deal with the ex wife? Why deal with all that drama?

Once you have children and your marriage or relationship didn't work, sorry, but the reality is, you have "baggage!"

And people who don't have baggage don't need to date someone with a lot of it. lol. Especially if you're wrong.

I understand your perspective and respect it.

Multiple children by multiple women= run.

Otherwise, kids aren't a deal breaker.

Posted by SofiaV87
One or 2 kids is ok. Preferably one. As long as there isn't any baby mama drama it's cool. I don't have kids & don't plan on having any either. I would adopt though.

Yeah adoption is great too.

I would only be open to it if the relationship that the man has with his children, and mother of the children, was healthy and the kids were past toddler age.

I worked with children for many years and get along well with children very well, usually. It wouldn't be my ideal to be the sole mother figure in the children's life, though. Not because I think I wouldn't be a good mother, it's just a lot to take on that could be too stressful given it would be for more than one child.

I know a man who is a very good father and he has worked things out well with his ex wife, mother of his 3 children, to make it as smooth as possible with joint custody of the kids. They saw a therapist to make sure that everything was equitable when they were splitting and feeling the pain and anger from that, and it helped a lot. He's a Gem sun, Scorp moon, Cancer Venus like you, OP.

I'm down with it-

Probably be super hoping his kids are okayeh with me, more than anything lol