@lisabethur8
14 Years50,000+ Posts
if you had to choose,
Deciding Between Saving a Wife or Mother in a Crisis
In life-threatening situations, instincts and emotional bonds influence decisions. Many prioritize saving their mother due to deep-rooted loyalty and protection instincts, especially during emergencies. Such choices often lead to complex emotional and relational consequences. Understanding these instinctual responses can provide insight into human behavior during crises.
You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
in a flooding, would you feel more instinctive to save your mother vs. your wife??
lol you don't have a wife yet. 😛
It's not even mother vs wife.
He had kids. That should have been his call.
If I have children...they go before my husband and my father. I'd expect my husband to make the same call.
If I don't have children...my husband. I was discussing this with my father once.
Edit: Assuming the danger is equal.
I would try to save whomever was alone I guess...
So if we had to die anyway, they wouldn't die by themselves @_@
Posted by Damnata
If I have children...they go before my husband and my father. I'd expect my husband to make the same call.If I don't have children...my husband. I was discussing this with my father once.
Edit: Assuming the danger is equal.
I agree! children first.
it's weird the article, like he left his children too? 😕
lol you don't have a wife yet. 😛
but i would have known my mom longer
click to expand
then you'll find this one interesting!! the article I put up is recent...
but this one here is back in 2012, and people slam this guy for saving wife over mother....
"It's a question that's been asked a million times around the world: "If both your mother and your wife were drowning, which one would you save first?"
Usually, this is followed by a long episode of eye-rolling and the statement: “Yeah, like that’s ever gonna happen.”
Which is probably what Xiao Guo, 28, from China's Anhui province, thought before he took his 52-year-old mother, Madam Sun, and his wife, Xiao Qing, on a fishing trip to Dianbu River.
Then the boat tipped over.
Neither Madam Sun nor Xiao Qing could swim. Faced with losing his wife or his mum Xiao Guo proved to be devoted husband, rather than a loyal son.
According to Asia One, he saved his wife first. Then he went back for his mother and saved her, too.
Even though both women survived, Xiao Guo is now in the doghouse. His dad got angry by his son's choice and according to Asia One, reporters allegedly overheard him ripping into his son at the hospital:"
I'd save Diane Kruger without esitation.
Both. I'd rescue both :p die rescuing both! I'm not picking one ..no way. I'd rather stay behind and stay till i rescue both by hook or crook. 😄
If it's a flood situation - I'd rescue dad first, because he's older than my husband. Husband would have more endurance physically so.. Plus my dad is diabetic, has disc problem, BP. Dad has a wife too, poor lady would be making a fuss all alone "where is he now!? 😡 " ..after saving old man, rescue my man.
Posted by PV&Jellay
My father is stubborn though, he would try to save himself, and tell me to save my husband.
Lol. I was gonna say this too.. My dad too! Infact, he'd be the one saving everyone in flood situation :p
I think this is a case of east vs west.
In western cultures when we get married we are forming our own family unit. While in the east when you get married your spouse (female) joins the family your apart of.
But to answer your question I'd save my dude cause I'm not close with my father at all.
Common sense.. I agree with Tiz..
Probably my dad, my husband would be young and capable to help himself.. My dad is old and needs my help.. I would expect the same from my husband..
If children were involved.. Always children!!!
I would take my family along to rescue momma
I agree about saving children first, but if I was married I'd expect him to save his mother.
I'm not the closest with my dad, but I'd probably still reach for him first. Guess it all depends on the man I marry and my depth of love for him. I'll always be a tad more loyal to my parents I guess.
Posted by LadyNeptune
I think this is a case of east vs west.In western cultures when we get married we are forming our own family unit. While in the east when you get married your spouse (female) joins the family your apart of.
But to answer your question I'd save my dude cause I'm not close with my father at all.
Posted by libraqueen
A man should always save his children and wife first. His new family is his priority and responsibility. Parents sacrifice for their children, not the other way around.But this gives me a headache because it's such a difficult decision. I'm going to nap.
Posted by leowww
That's a heartbreaking choice.But
Knowing my father he wouldn't let me save him and would tell me to save my "husband"
Still fucked up to think about this.
click to expand
I think so too, that a lot weighs on Eastern culture. but I honestly don't want to have to make the decision of an ailing father and a healthy husband. I would believe husband has good swimming skills that he'd SAVE my father. instead of me, doing so since i'm not that great of a swimmer.
lol you don't have a wife yet. 😛
but i would have known my mom longer
then you'll find this one interesting!! the article I put up is recent...
but this one here is back in 2012, and people slam this guy for saving wife over mother....
"It's a question that's been asked a million times around the world: "If both your mother and your wife were drowning, which one would you save first?"
Usually, this is followed by a long episode of eye-rolling and the statement: “Yeah, like that’s ever gonna happen.”
Which is probably what Xiao Guo, 28, from China's Anhui province, thought before he took his 52-year-old mother, Madam Sun, and his wife, Xiao Qing, on a fishing trip to Dianbu River.
Then the boat tipped over.
Neither Madam Sun nor Xiao Qing could swim. Faced with losing his wife or his mum Xiao Guo proved to be devoted husband, rather than a loyal son.
According to Asia One, he saved his wife first. Then he went back for his mother and saved her, too.
Even though both women survived, Xiao Guo is now in the doghouse. His dad got angry by his son's choice and according to Asia One, reporters allegedly overheard him ripping into his son at the hospital:"
click to expand
also on this article....it sounds a lot like HONOR.
commandment no. 4, in the bible, HONOR your father and mother. they take it to extreme. it's good to honor them but honor to the point they have to reprimand their son publicly and shame him for rescuing and having be blessed both wife and mother are alive.
incidently 4th house is family, just like the 4th commandment. Interesting parallel astrology made with religion.
Posted by starlover
What was your husband's reply to this@lisabethur8 ?If our son was happily married, i would want him to save his wife before me.....that is just weird to me that a grown up son (with a wife) would save his mother over his woman.........i will save myself thanks
I would save my son first above all else, but don't expect him to do the same for me.
aw that's so sweet. but sons need their momma's too. hope everyone is a good swimmer!!
I haven't asked to be honest, later, when he gets home i'll ask. lol
Posted by SuperMercurial
I'd want my spouse to save his mom or our kids over me though. I'm so okay with dying.
Please climb down the cross and get back to the Virgo side of the axis.
I mean even if I wanted to save my father, I would lose.
He would not stop bitching for the rest of his life over how disloyal I proved myself to be to my husband. The ultimate disappointment, followed up by the ultimate mars in libra attitude following me around. Maybe making a portrait of my deceased husband to send it to me as a gift just so the idea sinks in.
As my mom says: we're old and you have a life and a family to support. They need you more than us.
Loosing our parents is always a hard part we must all overcome. They will die one day.
Future is not with them but with my wife and kids.
Seems cold but that's reality.
My Father
I'm not sure. Right now I think I'd side with the dude's decision if I liked my parents. The mother was alone. Who knows if she would have gotten out on her own. The kids should come first, imo, but they had their mother and I would suspect that she'd do whatever she could to get them to safety. As for her father, well, he'd be last on my 'to save list'. It also depends on how severe I thought that was going to get. Luckily they managed to survive by staying on the roof but if they had to swim to safety, the mother would have definitely had a hard time getting both children to safety. Tough decision.
Posted by SuperMercurial
I'd want my spouse to save his mom or our kids over me though. I'm so okay with dying.Please climb down the cross and get back to the Virgo side of the axis.
lol my husband is fascinated with the supernatural, things that are fantasy related (could be leo in him) and his virgo always tries to burst my bubble. it's the skeptics curse....they are drawn to it, but have a hard time believing. love/hate thing.
lol you don't have a wife yet. 😛
I was thinking the same thing lol
click to expand
I think everyone did. lmao.
Posted by lisabethur8
would you save your wife or your mother, (for men)and if you are a woman, would you save your husband or father? (I know this sounds more "off" so i'd have to think up how you can save your father vs. your husband)
we all know about momma's boys, though. so this is surely the case here, and very instinctively so!!!
http://talkofnaija.com/save-his-wife-or-mother-see-who-this-man-choose-to-save-during-deadly-flood/
"A wife has dumped her husband of five years after he choose to save his mother ,abandoning her, their kids and her ailing father .man trapped in devastating floods was forced to make a split second decision – whether to save his mum or his wife.
Gao Fengshou, the 39-year-old husband, had known that a serious storm was on its way to Daxian Village, in Xingtai City of North China’s Hebei Province,but faced with the terrible choice, he left his home, where his wife, two kids and ailing father live, and bolted across his village to save his mum, leaving his other family members to fend for themselves.
He is now begging for his spouse’s forgiveness after she dumped him.
At least 112 people dead and 91 others have gone missing as torrential rains swept through China.
The Daxian village was almost completely wiped out"
Wut? His wife was fully capable of taking care of the family (kids and father) while his mother was alone. Give me a break. I'm not seeing the issue aside from ego. Now if they were all in the same house, it's about to go up in flames and he grabs mom before all others maybe there would an issue. Even then, we'd still need more details to judge this man's actions.
Posted by starlover
What was your husband's reply to this@lisabethur8 ?If our son was happily married, i would want him to save his wife before me.....
And if he's not happy, "the *itch can drown"? 😆....
A life is a life. If you're fully capable of saving yourself, help the person that isn't.
Posted by lisabethur8
would you save your wife or your mother, (for men)and if you are a woman, would you save your husband or father? (I know this sounds more "off" so i'd have to think up how you can save your father vs. your husband)
we all know about momma's boys, though. so this is surely the case here, and very instinctively so!!!
http://talkofnaija.com/save-his-wife-or-mother-see-who-this-man-choose-to-save-during-deadly-flood/
"A wife has dumped her husband of five years after he choose to save his mother ,abandoning her, their kids and her ailing father .man trapped in devastating floods was forced to make a split second decision – whether to save his mum or his wife.
Gao Fengshou, the 39-year-old husband, had known that a serious storm was on its way to Daxian Village, in Xingtai City of North China’s Hebei Province,but faced with the terrible choice, he left his home, where his wife, two kids and ailing father live, and bolted across his village to save his mum, leaving his other family members to fend for themselves.
He is now begging for his spouse’s forgiveness after she dumped him.
At least 112 people dead and 91 others have gone missing as torrential rains swept through China.
The Daxian village was almost completely wiped out"
Wut? His wife was fully capable of taking care of the family (kids and father) while his mother was alone. Give me a break. I'm not seeing the issue aside from ego. Now if they were all in the same house, it's about to go up in flames and he grabs mom before all others maybe there would an issue. Even then, we'd still need more details to judge this man's actions.
click to expand
yeah it lacks details in the story. I am presuming the mother went to the market without them, and he panicked. and he might have figured his wife was capable of routing the children and aging father to safety, assuming herself is very healthy.
and her divorcing him after 5 years of marriage and with two babies, I thought...whaaaa....there must be something very EGO-centric about her.
still the details are vague...
she could have been in a huge fight with the mother and hated the mother and the son /her husband is still trying to make amends. Maybe the wife didn't want him to save the mother? all of this is weird.
My children
My hubby
My father
Posted by lisabethur8
would you save your wife or your mother, (for men)and if you are a woman, would you save your husband or father? (I know this sounds more "off" so i'd have to think up how you can save your father vs. your husband)
we all know about momma's boys, though. so this is surely the case here, and very instinctively so!!!
http://talkofnaija.com/save-his-wife-or-mother-see-who-this-man-choose-to-save-during-deadly-flood/
"A wife has dumped her husband of five years after he choose to save his mother ,abandoning her, their kids and her ailing father .man trapped in devastating floods was forced to make a split second decision – whether to save his mum or his wife.
Gao Fengshou, the 39-year-old husband, had known that a serious storm was on its way to Daxian Village, in Xingtai City of North China’s Hebei Province,but faced with the terrible choice, he left his home, where his wife, two kids and ailing father live, and bolted across his village to save his mum, leaving his other family members to fend for themselves.
He is now begging for his spouse’s forgiveness after she dumped him.
At least 112 people dead and 91 others have gone missing as torrential rains swept through China.
The Daxian village was almost completely wiped out"
Wut? His wife was fully capable of taking care of the family (kids and father) while his mother was alone. Give me a break. I'm not seeing the issue aside from ego. Now if they were all in the same house, it's about to go up in flames and he grabs mom before all others maybe there would an issue. Even then, we'd still need more details to judge this man's actions.
...Maybe the wife didn't want him to save the mother?
click to expand
Lol. Possibly.
wife🙂
Posted by starwars
I'd probably die over how stressful the situation isyou will just sink i bet
not if my son chooses me over his wife
better catch a plane to rio and get some of that michael phelps sperm then!
hahaha!
good idea, only not....
now that Gao is divorced I think its the right time for me to step and pat his back
click to expand
it's a long flight to China!! and you'll need some $ $ $ to take care of him. He looks like he has to provide for his family (children ect) after the divorce so, you have to bring your own $ $ $ .
but at least he'll be happy to know you care so much. aww.
It is the mans obligation to save his wife I would say because of a longer life expectance as well as the kids need a mother.
Mother would want their kids to have a mother just as a father would want there kids to have a father.
I would want my son to save his wife it is how I know I brought him up right. Same thing if I had a daughter.
PM
Posted by piscesmoon2
It is the mans obligation to save his wife I would say because of a longer life expectance as well as the kids need a mother.Mother would want their kids to have a mother just as a father would want there kids to have a father.
I would want my son to save his wife it is how I know I brought him up right. Same thing if I had a daughter.
PM
this is actually a practice in eskimos, I watched on discovery channel.
yes - from most to least vulnerable. i'd make my hubby swear to stay alive before i leave his side though. he is not as observant to every little details around him like i do so i worry about him constantly but i would have to save my parents because they wouldn't have a chance otherwise
Posted by iCloud9
yes - from most to least vulnerable. i'd make my hubby swear to stay alive before i leave his side though. he is not as observant to every little details around him like i do so i worry about him constantly but i would have to save my parents because they wouldn't have a chance otherwise
really?
he's not observant? or notices details?? he must lack virgo.
Posted by lisabethur8
would you save your wife or your mother, (for men)and if you are a woman, would you save your husband or father? (I know this sounds more "off" so i'd have to think up how you can save your father vs. your husband)
we all know about momma's boys, though. so this is surely the case here, and very instinctively so!!!
http://talkofnaija.com/save-his-wife-or-mother-see-who-this-man-choose-to-save-during-deadly-flood/
"A wife has dumped her husband of five years after he choose to save his mother ,abandoning her, their kids and her ailing father .man trapped in devastating floods was forced to make a split second decision – whether to save his mum or his wife.
Gao Fengshou, the 39-year-old husband, had known that a serious storm was on its way to Daxian Village, in Xingtai City of North China’s Hebei Province,but faced with the terrible choice, he left his home, where his wife, two kids and ailing father live, and bolted across his village to save his mum, leaving his other family members to fend for themselves.
He is now begging for his spouse’s forgiveness after she dumped him.
At least 112 people dead and 91 others have gone missing as torrential rains swept through China.
The Daxian village was almost completely wiped out"
I would die trying to save them both
click to expand
but then all three of you might die.
Posted by iCloud9
yes - from most to least vulnerable. i'd make my hubby swear to stay alive before i leave his side though. he is not as observant to every little details around him like i do so i worry about him constantly but i would have to save my parents because they wouldn't have a chance otherwisereally?
he's not observant? or notices details?? he must lack virgo.
click to expand
he has virgo rising and moon lol i'm 100% more observant than him maybe because i'm a female lol?? luckily he is intuitive. but then i'm like the most observant person in my family that my mom used to complain about how i would notice every little dust in my food, my drink and around me lol
my cap bff with virgo moon just the other day told me how amazed she was regarding me noticing every little details. she told me she simply doesn't see them lol.
so, this may not be a virgo thing
Posted by iCloud9
yes - from most to least vulnerable. i'd make my hubby swear to stay alive before i leave his side though. he is not as observant to every little details around him like i do so i worry about him constantly but i would have to save my parents because they wouldn't have a chance otherwisereally?
he's not observant? or notices details?? he must lack virgo.
he has virgo rising and moon lol i'm 100% more observant than him maybe because i'm a female lol?? luckily he is intuitive. but then i'm like the most observant person in my family that my mom used to complain about how i would notice every little dust in my food, my drink and around me lol
click to expand
wow every astro site says virgos in general as a sign itself is very very detailed and observant.
I guess your man's broken. or weak in that planet.
I have bad eyes, so I need my glasses on to see the details, like dust in the food, ect.
edit although i'm not good seeing from far away either.
If he was a terrible husband, I'd be like..
...And save my dad. My dad already told me that if I had to choose, to choose my husband, and I woukd if he was good.
Posted by Greentea
If he was a terrible husband, I'd be like..
...And save my dad. My dad already told me that if I had to choose, to choose my husband, and I woukd if he was good.
omg ....I so understand.
if he was cruel, vicious and an abuser, yes...it's like omg...finally LIBERATION.
Wouldn't be easier for people to live in a country where floods aren't likely to occur?
Posted by iCloud9
yes - from most to least vulnerable. i'd make my hubby swear to stay alive before i leave his side though. he is not as observant to every little details around him like i do so i worry about him constantly but i would have to save my parents because they wouldn't have a chance otherwisereally?
he's not observant? or notices details?? he must lack virgo.
he has virgo rising and moon lol i'm 100% more observant than him maybe because i'm a female lol?? luckily he is intuitive. but then i'm like the most observant person in my family that my mom used to complain about how i would notice every little dust in my food, my drink and around me lol
wow every astro site says virgos in general as a sign itself is very very detailed and observant.
I guess your man's broken. or weak in that planet.
I have bad eyes, so I need my glasses on to see the details, like dust in the food, ect.
edit although i'm not good seeing from far away either.
click to expand
not just my scorp though. my bff with virgo moon is not observant and she told me she is insensitive lol which i agree sometimes.
not just when i see stuff though. i sometimes feel it coming. like i'd capture stuff that scorp drops before it hits the table or ground believe or not lol
Posted by Palerio
Wouldn't be easier for people to live in a country where floods aren't likely to occur?
that's like saying, why are all the trailer parks getting in the way of tornados? in the Midwest?
edit
but yeah it would be.
*sigh* lol
Posted by iCloud9
yes - from most to least vulnerable. i'd make my hubby swear to stay alive before i leave his side though. he is not as observant to every little details around him like i do so i worry about him constantly but i would have to save my parents because they wouldn't have a chance otherwisereally?
he's not observant? or notices details?? he must lack virgo.
he has virgo rising and moon lol i'm 100% more observant than him maybe because i'm a female lol?? luckily he is intuitive. but then i'm like the most observant person in my family that my mom used to complain about how i would notice every little dust in my food, my drink and around me lol
wow every astro site says virgos in general as a sign itself is very very detailed and observant.
I guess your man's broken. or weak in that planet.
I have bad eyes, so I need my glasses on to see the details, like dust in the food, ect.
edit although i'm not good seeing from far away either.
not just my scorp though. my bff with virgo moon is not observant and she told me she is insensitive lol which i agree sometimes.
not just when i see stuff though. i sometimes feel it coming. like i'd capture stuff that scorp drops before it hits the table or ground believe or not lol
click to expand
wow that is crazy!! my sister is very observant. too much so.
Posted by starwars
I'd like to understand why she dumped him........
lol
I think this whole spiel of her not being saved FIRST with the family...was all a RUSE...
she was actually tired of his
1) penis, the lack of size
2) bad breath
3) she had another man on the side, and finally this was her chance.
4) Or, she really hated the mother in law. lol it was a blow to her ego.
5) to be famous in the newspaper,
then wait for a few more months to take him back,
Posted by piscesmoon2
It is the mans obligation to save his wife I would say because of a longer life expectance as well as the kids need a mother.Mother would want their kids to have a mother just as a father would want there kids to have a father.
I would want my son to save his wife it is how I know I brought him up right. Same thing if I had a daughter.
PM
this is actually a practice in eskimos, I watched on discovery channel.
click to expand
Many other cultures as well too... Of course if it was me or her kids come first... However if we where in the middle of no wear and they would not be able to survive with out one of us healthy... It would be a hard but objective choice to save my wife over kids... If I would not make it as well.
PM
Husband. My dad is an abusive asshole.
Posted by piscesmoon2
It is the mans obligation to save his wife I would say because of a longer life expectance as well as the kids need a mother.Mother would want their kids to have a mother just as a father would want there kids to have a father.
I would want my son to save his wife it is how I know I brought him up right. Same thing if I had a daughter.
PM
this is actually a practice in eskimos, I watched on discovery channel.
Many other cultures as well too... Of course if it was me or her kids come first... However if we where in the middle of no wear and they would not be able to survive with out one of us healthy... It would be a hard but objective choice to save my wife over kids... If I would not make it as well.
PM
click to expand
I think your wife would want you to save the children over her.
Did this resonate with you?
Long-term relationships and marriage questions around situations like this come up often. Support helps keep these real experiences available.
Every contribution helps keep dxpnet independent and ad-light.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →
would you save your wife or your mother, (for men)
and if you are a woman, would you save your husband or father? (I know this sounds more "off" so i'd have to think up how you can save your father vs. your husband)
we all know about momma's boys, though. so this is surely the case here, and very instinctively so!!!
http://talkofnaija.com/save-his-wife-or-mother-see-who-this-man-choose-to-save-during-deadly-flood/
"A wife has dumped her husband of five years after he choose to save his mother ,abandoning her, their kids and her ailing father .man trapped in devastating floods was forced to make a split second decision – whether to save his mum or his wife.
Gao Fengshou, the 39-year-old husband, had known that a serious storm was on its way to Daxian Village, in Xingtai City of North China’s Hebei Province,but faced with the terrible choice, he left his home, where his wife, two kids and ailing father live, and bolted across his village to save his mum, leaving his other family members to fend for themselves.
He is now begging for his spouse’s forgiveness after she dumped him.
At least 112 people dead and 91 others have gone missing as torrential rains swept through China.
The Daxian village was almost completely wiped out"
http://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/chinese-man-slammed-for-saving-mother-instead-of-wife-from-floods-a3305336.html