Mark David
@Mark-23
9 Years500+ Posts
Comments: 2 · Posts: 591 · Topics: 34
I'm ignoring current Girlfriend... any advice? (Page 3)
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Bruh she might not even care so you will be waiting a long time. She might come back but the history of this relationship she will come back to keep you on the hook or when she don't get enough attention.
Seriously don't expect her to come back bawling begging you won't happen.
If she comes around she is going to throw a pity party acting the victim nothing is her fault and talk shit about the dude she keeps around.
Seriously don't expect her to come back bawling begging you won't happen.
If she comes around she is going to throw a pity party acting the victim nothing is her fault and talk shit about the dude she keeps around.
Posted by solo87No im not expecting her to come back bawling. I just want her to realize that at this point that I'm literally done with her BS. If she does play victim or seizes to change her act and how she handles herself.
Bruh she might not even care so you will be waiting a long time. She might come back but the history of this relationship she will come back to keep you on the hook or when she don't get enough attention.
Seriously don't expect her to come back bawling begging you won't happen.
If she comes around she is going to throw a pity party acting the victim nothing is her fault and talk shit about the dude she keeps around.
Then I'm gonna just dip, forever.
Right now it seems like she doesn't even care but she's a Leo woman. Women are fucking good at hiding their shit.
As far as attention goes, I haven't given her any attention in 5 days now...
Also how do I make her not keep me on the hook?
I'm here to ask how to fix this relationship before I walk away forever and ever...
I don't see either the @OP or his girl as normal - with the facts presented - of course everyone has a different opinion of what "normal" is - I just mean drama and stress, lying, cheating, violence, arguing, etc. all not normal in my book so this is where I come from in saying the @OP needs to grow a bit in his view of how things can go in this world ... or stay the same and continue to suffer the same consequences over and over and over again ...
I am glad he's getting some counseling however. It might help. There is always hope!
No she's not normal either... she was part of a cult church and she was sexually abused many times. She had no father figure either.
But I love her for who and what she is her character that is. That's before we both messed up our relationship and love.
I'm here trying to get advice aside from my counseling/therapy.
it's going to take a tremendous amount of work for each of you and then both of you together ... good luck!
Posted by marshmallowIt is for this one!!!
I am more certain now ,about the fact that cheating is not a deal breaker for Aries .
Posted by tcta
I don't see either the @OP or his girl as normal - with the facts presented - of course everyone has a different opinion of what "normal" is - I just mean drama and stress, lying, cheating, violence, arguing, etc. all not normal in my book so this is where I come from in saying the @OP needs to grow a bit in his view of how things can go in this world ... or stay the same and continue to suffer the same consequences over and over and over again ...
I am glad he's getting some counseling however. It might help. There is always hope!
No she's not normal either... she was part of a cult church and she was sexually abused many times. She had no father figure either.
But I love her for who and what she is her character that is. That's before we both messed up our relationship and love.
I'm here trying to get advice aside from my counseling/therapy.
it's going to take a tremendous amount of work for each of you and then both of you together ... good luck!
Thank you so much for your support friend.
How should I handle this when she calls me? I'm talking step by step.
Posted by MadMarchRamYou should check my synastry with her... it's amazingly passionate and full of love and passion. She is the love of my life...Posted by marshmallowIt is for this one!!!
I am more certain now ,about the fact that cheating is not a deal breaker for Aries .
click to expand
That's why I haven't given up. Although I'm giving it my last chance before I finally walk away...
I'll appreciate everyone's support.
No she's not normal either... she was part of a cult church and she was sexually abused many times. She had no father figure either.
But I love her for who and what she is her character that is. That's before we both messed up our relationship and love.
I'm here trying to get advice aside from my counseling/therapy.
it's going to take a tremendous amount of work for each of you and then both of you together ... good luck!
Thank you so much for your support friend.
How should I handle this when she calls me? I'm talking step by step.
wow, I don't know and I mean that - it's out of my league - I wouldn't be in either of your situation to start with so I don't know how to answer that - I do wish you well in whatever you do
Sorry man but none of this is going to go the way you plan. I know to well with those type of Leo's. Your only chance would be when SHE removes the dude she keeps around. and you can't ask her to
Posted by tctaNo she's not normal either... she was part of a cult church and she was sexually abused many times. She had no father figure either.
But I love her for who and what she is her character that is. That's before we both messed up our relationship and love.
I'm here trying to get advice aside from my counseling/therapy.
it's going to take a tremendous amount of work for each of you and then both of you together ... good luck!
Thank you so much for your support friend.
How should I handle this when she calls me? I'm talking step by step.
wow, I don't know and I mean that - it's out of my league - I wouldn't be in either of your situation to start with so I don't know how to answer that - I do wish you well in whatever you do
Well I only wanted dxp members to give me advice on how to handle my situation with her OTHER than leaving because I'm already on the verge of leaving and I am giving this one last chance.
However I appreciate your support and I pray all goes well after my no contact period.
Posted by solo87
Sorry man but none of this is going to go the way you plan. I know to well with those type of Leo's. Your only chance would be when SHE removes the dude she keeps around. and you can't ask her to
Your 200% correct. Now I wanna know what I can do when we resume contact. I know that She will be worried and also interested in where I've been.
Also two weeks ago she went off on me for seeing another woman and actually doing things with her calling her a whore and all kinds of names.
So I know she cares about my relationship status ect
Posted by solo87We would argue about her keeping him around and it literally dropped my value in front of her eyes. I should've played it smart back then and I want to play it smart when she gets back in contact with me...
Sorry man but none of this is going to go the way you plan. I know to well with those type of Leo's. Your only chance would be when SHE removes the dude she keeps around. and you can't ask her to
She cares about the control but best believe if that dude was out the picture and you two where "talking". And you did the same thing she flip out on you saying we anent together and she could fuck others. Double standards are huge with immature Leo's. Honestly best thing to do is be clear calm explain and be neutral. See what she says and accept the fact you prob won't hear what you want. They tend to want you to act like everything is normal go with there flow and always be around. That's why some like to keep exs as friends
Posted by Mark-23Way back when I was 17 I was cheated on, I had good synestry with my then bf. This means nothing if one or both aren't ready and evolved enough for a serious, loving relationship.Posted by MadMarchRamYou should check my synastry with her... it's amazingly passionate and full of love and passion. She is the love of my life...Posted by marshmallowIt is for this one!!!
I am more certain now ,about the fact that cheating is not a deal breaker for Aries .
That's why I haven't given up. Although I'm giving it my last chance before I finally walk away...
I'll appreciate everyone's support.click to expand
He cheated, then went to another town (where she was from) and moved in with her.
6wks later he was back with his tail between his legs in tears begging me back. Telling me how much he loved me and realised his mistake, because she wasn't me. He was still with her and was back for a home visit.
I told him "Leave her, come home and we'll see what happens. But I'm NOT being your side piece as you were MY man in the first place and I won't play 2nd fiddle!"
He walked away in tears and I haven't seen him since. (almost 21 yrs)
A few weeks later I found out he came back to our town with HER best friend.
In so glad I handled it the way I did as he probably would've cheated on me again ?.
I think everyone else is right though, you should walk away from this destructive pattern. There's no "going back to the way things were" after abuse, especially the physical kind. Work on yourself, learn from this and try to move on.
Sorry for the long post.
Posted by MadMarchRamPosted by Mark-23Way back when I was 17 I was cheated on, I had good synestry with my then bf. This means nothing if one or both aren't ready and evolved enough for a serious, loving relationship.Posted by MadMarchRamYou should check my synastry with her... it's amazingly passionate and full of love and passion. She is the love of my life...Posted by marshmallowIt is for this one!!!
I am more certain now ,about the fact that cheating is not a deal breaker for Aries .
That's why I haven't given up. Although I'm giving it my last chance before I finally walk away...
I'll appreciate everyone's support.
He cheated, then went to another town (where she was from) and moved in with her.
6wks later he was back with his tail between his legs in tears begging me back. Telling me how much he loved me and realised his mistake, because she wasn't me. He was still with her and was back for a home visit.
I told him "Leave her, come home and we'll see what happens. But I'm NOT being your side piece as you were MY man in the first place and I won't play 2nd fiddle!"
He walked away in tears and I haven't seen him since. (almost 21 yrs)
A few weeks later I found out he came back to our town with HER best friend.
In so glad I handled it the way I did as he probably would've cheated on me again ?.
I think everyone else is right though, you should walk away from this destructive pattern. There's no "going back to the way things were" after abuse, especially the physical kind. Work on yourself, learn from this and try to move on.
Sorry for the long post.
click to expand
I'm not going back to the way things were, I'm moving forward and I wanna prevent the destruction and I'm asking fellow dxp users to help me in preventing the past and what I should do, OTHER THAN walking away...
Posted by PootyButt
I didn't read the thread. The title alone is enough.
Ignoring a person is what you do when you're ready for the relationship to fail. Ignoring your partner is childish and harmful. If the only way to get what you want from your partner is to ignore them, the relationship is broken beyond repair.
What should I do then?
Posted by Mark-23Posted by PootyButt
I didn't read the thread. The title alone is enough.
Ignoring a person is what you do when you're ready for the relationship to fail. Ignoring your partner is childish and harmful. If the only way to get what you want from your partner is to ignore them, the relationship is broken beyond repair.
What should I do then?click to expand
Fight for her
Do your best to talk to her....call her.....
Why would you carry on ignoring her and playing a game if you want her back
At least try, even if it's doomed
Posted by MyStarsShineOk when should I call her. Can you please suggest telling me what to do and say when I speak to her.Posted by Mark-23Posted by PootyButt
I didn't read the thread. The title alone is enough.
Ignoring a person is what you do when you're ready for the relationship to fail. Ignoring your partner is childish and harmful. If the only way to get what you want from your partner is to ignore them, the relationship is broken beyond repair.
What should I do then?
Fight for her
Do your best to talk to her....call her.....
Why would you carry on ignoring her and playing a game if you want her back
At least try, even if it's doomed
click to expand
I need all the advice and details that I can get!
PS I want to personally thank you because even though of my misfortunes in the past you didn't judge me and you did your best to give me advice I really really appreciate that and I hope for us to be friends in the near future
Tell her you want to meet up with her because you miss her and want to know if you have a future together
Stay calm and grounded ... Don't lose your cool....be grown up
Simple !
Stay calm and grounded ... Don't lose your cool....be grown up
Simple !
Posted by PootyButt
By the way, you sound very desperate. That desperation is giving her waaaay too much power in the relationship. Each party needs to be equally invested and have relatively equal power. You're probably thinking "no shit, Sherlock, but I can't help it." I think you have to get to the root of that. Is this your first big love?
Yes is my first big love and the thing is that I care about it I've been in many relationships in the past but I never give a shit about those women and men they chased me they beg me to be with them I was a hard-core alpha male ....
With her the first year you know I was down to get married she was going to get married we both spoke of kids, we even cuddled and spoke of names for our children and we were going to have
She wanted me to be a father of her children she wanted all of that and a house
So my mind was caught up in all of that stuff you know and when you speak of children and a home with the woman and you actually imagine yourself doing all of that you don't just fall in love with the woman you fall in love with that idea
That's why it's so hard to give up on her and walk away
Posted by Plague
I mean.. she keeps an ex around... and clearly there is no respect in the relationship.
Then why don't you tell me how I can gain respect and her loyalty without walking away ?
Posted by SweetLily89Because he's willing to stoop to her level. He wants her to come crawling back to him. She's not going to because she's stronger than he is. That fact hasn't set in yet for this guy.Posted by Mark-23Some people will never see your worth or appreciate you, but that's not what's important...Posted by SweetLily89
Cut her loose if you're not happy. Life's too short for that mess. No need to play mind games. Yes, ignoring may get under her skin, maybe it won't. Drop her like a hot potato and keep it moving, maybe then it will hit her, when you're no longer looking back.
I told her in our previous conversations that once I leave, I'm gone forever. I asked her kindly but firmly to help make the necessary changes to move forward. Because she wanted to forget the past and start moving forward...
Now I'm doing something I've never done, before and that is I'm completely ignoring her, where as a week ago I was blowing up her phone.
I'm gonna be ignoring her and you updated.
Do YOU see your own worth?
From what I'm reading, I'm not convinced you do. Don't allow anyone else to dictate your value. If she isn't appreciating you for who you are now, then how is ignoring her going to achieve your desired goal? It won't make a difference.
You are prolonging the inevitable from what I can see, you've already expressed your concerns and needs and as you had put it yourself, actions speak louder than words. The longer you stay, the longer you're keeping yourself from finding someone who will truly value you.
click to expand
I've been where you are man. I've done that stupid game playing crap too, because I thought I loved someone. Then I found my own worth and now I make myself ?.
Posted by SsupermanPosted by SweetLily89Because he's willing to stoop to her level. He wants her to come crawling back to him. She's not going to because she's stronger than he is. That fact hasn't set in yet for this guy.Posted by Mark-23Some people will never see your worth or appreciate you, but that's not what's important...Posted by SweetLily89
Cut her loose if you're not happy. Life's too short for that mess. No need to play mind games. Yes, ignoring may get under her skin, maybe it won't. Drop her like a hot potato and keep it moving, maybe then it will hit her, when you're no longer looking back.
I told her in our previous conversations that once I leave, I'm gone forever. I asked her kindly but firmly to help make the necessary changes to move forward. Because she wanted to forget the past and start moving forward...
Now I'm doing something I've never done, before and that is I'm completely ignoring her, where as a week ago I was blowing up her phone.
I'm gonna be ignoring her and you updated.
Do YOU see your own worth?
From what I'm reading, I'm not convinced you do. Don't allow anyone else to dictate your value. If she isn't appreciating you for who you are now, then how is ignoring her going to achieve your desired goal? It won't make a difference.
You are prolonging the inevitable from what I can see, you've already expressed your concerns and needs and as you had put it yourself, actions speak louder than words. The longer you stay, the longer you're keeping yourself from finding someone who will truly value you.
I've been where you are man. I've done that stupid game playing crap too, because I thought I loved someone. Then I found my own worth and now I make myself ?.click to expand
What do you mean she's stronger than me and she's not going to come crawling back to me?
That's the whole point of why I've been ignoring her
Posted by Mark-23Come on man. Let's be real here.Posted by SsupermanPosted by SweetLily89Because he's willing to stoop to her level. He wants her to come crawling back to him. She's not going to because she's stronger than he is. That fact hasn't set in yet for this guy.Posted by Mark-23Some people will never see your worth or appreciate you, but that's not what's important...Posted by SweetLily89
Cut her loose if you're not happy. Life's too short for that mess. No need to play mind games. Yes, ignoring may get under her skin, maybe it won't. Drop her like a hot potato and keep it moving, maybe then it will hit her, when you're no longer looking back.
I told her in our previous conversations that once I leave, I'm gone forever. I asked her kindly but firmly to help make the necessary changes to move forward. Because she wanted to forget the past and start moving forward...
Now I'm doing something I've never done, before and that is I'm completely ignoring her, where as a week ago I was blowing up her phone.
I'm gonna be ignoring her and you updated.
Do YOU see your own worth?
From what I'm reading, I'm not convinced you do. Don't allow anyone else to dictate your value. If she isn't appreciating you for who you are now, then how is ignoring her going to achieve your desired goal? It won't make a difference.
You are prolonging the inevitable from what I can see, you've already expressed your concerns and needs and as you had put it yourself, actions speak louder than words. The longer you stay, the longer you're keeping yourself from finding someone who will truly value you.
I've been where you are man. I've done that stupid game playing crap too, because I thought I loved someone. Then I found my own worth and now I make myself ?.
What do you mean she's stronger than me and she's not going to come crawling back to me?
That's the whole point of why I've been ignoring herclick to expand
Posted by PootyButtDamn Scorpio (in my case)
By the way, I prostrated myself before my first love and begged, like a chump. I just couldn't believe his feelings had changed.
Now I'm glad as fuck that his feelings changed, because he was a train wreck, and I was whipped.
But yes. Lesson learned.
Posted by PootyButtPosted by Mark-23If you have told her that you love her and want to be with her and that you're not okay with her ex being around, if you've been clear, and she doesn't care, I fear there isn't anything to salvage except your pride.Posted by PootyButt
By the way, you sound very desperate. That desperation is giving her waaaay too much power in the relationship. Each party needs to be equally invested and have relatively equal power. You're probably thinking "no shit, Sherlock, but I can't help it." I think you have to get to the root of that. Is this your first big love?
Yes is my first big love and the thing is that I care about it I've been in many relationships in the past but I never give a shit about those women and men they chased me they beg me to be with them I was a hard-core alpha male ....
With her the first year you know I was down to get married she was going to get married we both spoke of kids, we even cuddled and spoke of names for our children and we were going to have
She wanted me to be a father of her children she wanted all of that and a house
So my mind was caught up in all of that stuff you know and when you speak of children and a home with the woman and you actually imagine yourself doing all of that you don't just fall in love with the woman you fall in love with that idea
That's why it's so hard to give up on her and walk awayclick to expand
So 2 weeks ago we sat down and I told her... I said
"listen my love, I want us to move forward from the past and build a future. I want us to build our trust and mutual friendship the love and passion we once had. I would like for us to spend more time together. This is important if you want the house and the children, I want to put a roof over your daughters head. You'll needs to get rid of him (the ex) it's been 6 years, he's not gonna commit to you. There is no point. I want you to know that you have a chance for a wonderful future a great opportunity with me, so please help me, help you. Help us my love."
And then she said she agreed with what I said 100% and she understood with what I said.
She agreed that she wanted us to spend more quality time together instead of constant arguing and fighting. She wanted us to workout. But regarding him she gave me some bullshit excuse to why he is in her life but she did agree that she will let him go....
I got in a fight with her Thursday morning and we haven't spoken since. She called me 18 times Thursday and that was it.
Today is Tuesday.
Posted by PootyButtDamn. Scorpio snipped his balls. He's raw doggin' it all over the place.... :/Posted by WalkergrlDamn Aquarius, in my case.Posted by PootyButtDamn Scorpio (in my case)
By the way, I prostrated myself before my first love and begged, like a chump. I just couldn't believe his feelings had changed.
Now I'm glad as fuck that his feelings changed, because he was a train wreck, and I was whipped.
But yes. Lesson learned.
He made little Aquarilets all over the States, I hear.click to expand
Posted by PootyButtPosted by Mark-23I might have missed something important. Is the ex the father of her child?Posted by PootyButtPosted by Mark-23If you have told her that you love her and want to be with her and that you're not okay with her ex being around, if you've been clear, and she doesn't care, I fear there isn't anything to salvage except your pride.Posted by PootyButt
By the way, you sound very desperate. That desperation is giving her waaaay too much power in the relationship. Each party needs to be equally invested and have relatively equal power. You're probably thinking "no shit, Sherlock, but I can't help it." I think you have to get to the root of that. Is this your first big love?
Yes is my first big love and the thing is that I care about it I've been in many relationships in the past but I never give a shit about those women and men they chased me they beg me to be with them I was a hard-core alpha male ....
With her the first year you know I was down to get married she was going to get married we both spoke of kids, we even cuddled and spoke of names for our children and we were going to have
She wanted me to be a father of her children she wanted all of that and a house
So my mind was caught up in all of that stuff you know and when you speak of children and a home with the woman and you actually imagine yourself doing all of that you don't just fall in love with the woman you fall in love with that idea
That's why it's so hard to give up on her and walk away
So 2 weeks ago we sat down and I told her... I said
"listen my love, I want us to move forward from the past and build a future. I want us to build our trust and mutual friendship the love and passion we once had. I would like for us to spend more time together. This is important if you want the house and the children, I want to put a roof over your daughters head. You'll needs to get rid of him (the ex) it's been 6 years, he's not gonna commit to you. There is no point. I want you to know that you have a chance for a wonderful future a great opportunity with me, so please help me, help you. Help us my love."
And then she said she agreed with what I said 100% and she understood with what I said.
She agreed that she wanted us to spend more quality time together instead of constant arguing and fighting. She wanted us to workout. But regarding him she gave me some bullshit excuse to why he is in her life but she did agree that she will let him go....
I got in a fight with her Thursday morning and we haven't spoken since. She called me 18 times Thursday and that was it.
Today is Tuesday.
click to expand
No definitely not. He's the guy she dated after her divorce.
Posted by PootyButtI've worked at blocking the Scorp, but I know it's just a matter of time when he's not entertained by someone and feeling lonely... that text will show up.Posted by WalkergrlEewwwwPosted by PootyButtDamn. Scorpio snipped his balls. He's raw doggin' it all over the place.... :/Posted by WalkergrlDamn Aquarius, in my case.Posted by PootyButtDamn Scorpio (in my case)
By the way, I prostrated myself before my first love and begged, like a chump. I just couldn't believe his feelings had changed.
Now I'm glad as fuck that his feelings changed, because he was a train wreck, and I was whipped.
But yes. Lesson learned.
He made little Aquarilets all over the States, I hear.
The Aquarius was still running his "I love you...I will marry you" trap last I heard. I have no idea what he's doing now.click to expand
It's been over a period of 6 months now that he's played that game.
Posted by PootyButtPosted by Mark-23I might have missed something important. Is the ex the father of her child?Posted by PootyButtPosted by Mark-23If you have told her that you love her and want to be with her and that you're not okay with her ex being around, if you've been clear, and she doesn't care, I fear there isn't anything to salvage except your pride.Posted by PootyButt
By the way, you sound very desperate. That desperation is giving her waaaay too much power in the relationship. Each party needs to be equally invested and have relatively equal power. You're probably thinking "no shit, Sherlock, but I can't help it." I think you have to get to the root of that. Is this your first big love?
Yes is my first big love and the thing is that I care about it I've been in many relationships in the past but I never give a shit about those women and men they chased me they beg me to be with them I was a hard-core alpha male ....
With her the first year you know I was down to get married she was going to get married we both spoke of kids, we even cuddled and spoke of names for our children and we were going to have
She wanted me to be a father of her children she wanted all of that and a house
So my mind was caught up in all of that stuff you know and when you speak of children and a home with the woman and you actually imagine yourself doing all of that you don't just fall in love with the woman you fall in love with that idea
That's why it's so hard to give up on her and walk away
So 2 weeks ago we sat down and I told her... I said
"listen my love, I want us to move forward from the past and build a future. I want us to build our trust and mutual friendship the love and passion we once had. I would like for us to spend more time together. This is important if you want the house and the children, I want to put a roof over your daughters head. You'll needs to get rid of him (the ex) it's been 6 years, he's not gonna commit to you. There is no point. I want you to know that you have a chance for a wonderful future a great opportunity with me, so please help me, help you. Help us my love."
And then she said she agreed with what I said 100% and she understood with what I said.
She agreed that she wanted us to spend more quality time together instead of constant arguing and fighting. She wanted us to workout. But regarding him she gave me some bullshit excuse to why he is in her life but she did agree that she will let him go....
I got in a fight with her Thursday morning and we haven't spoken since. She called me 18 times Thursday and that was it.
Today is Tuesday.
click to expand
Honestly what bothers me is that she doesn't realize that she has been with him for six almost 7 years and he hasn't put a ring on her hand.
When I first met her I told her that because she has no ring on her hand she is fair game. I love poetry I love romance and I love Shakespeare and one of my favorite quotes is
"all is fair in love and war" thus I haven't given up on her.
I wanted to put a ring on her hand after a year I want her to marry me she wanted that too but things went sour ... I admitted my faults and I am still in therapy/counseling.
I told her straight up I said he's not serious if he was he would've put a ring on your hand.
Posted by PootyButtI became controlling and insecure and I fucked up. Now I'm doing everything I can do scrap up what's the left of our relationship...Posted by Mark-23Well, that is probably true about the other guy. But why is she still hanging on to him? If someone I loved said those things to me, I'd turn to mush at his feet.Posted by PootyButtPosted by Mark-23I might have missed something important. Is the ex the father of her child?Posted by PootyButtPosted by Mark-23If you have told her that you love her and want to be with her and that you're not okay with her ex being around, if you've been clear, and she doesn't care, I fear there isn't anything to salvage except your pride.Posted by PootyButt
By the way, you sound very desperate. That desperation is giving her waaaay too much power in the relationship. Each party needs to be equally invested and have relatively equal power. You're probably thinking "no shit, Sherlock, but I can't help it." I think you have to get to the root of that. Is this your first big love?
Yes is my first big love and the thing is that I care about it I've been in many relationships in the past but I never give a shit about those women and men they chased me they beg me to be with them I was a hard-core alpha male ....
With her the first year you know I was down to get married she was going to get married we both spoke of kids, we even cuddled and spoke of names for our children and we were going to have
She wanted me to be a father of her children she wanted all of that and a house
So my mind was caught up in all of that stuff you know and when you speak of children and a home with the woman and you actually imagine yourself doing all of that you don't just fall in love with the woman you fall in love with that idea
That's why it's so hard to give up on her and walk away
So 2 weeks ago we sat down and I told her... I said
"listen my love, I want us to move forward from the past and build a future. I want us to build our trust and mutual friendship the love and passion we once had. I would like for us to spend more time together. This is important if you want the house and the children, I want to put a roof over your daughters head. You'll needs to get rid of him (the ex) it's been 6 years, he's not gonna commit to you. There is no point. I want you to know that you have a chance for a wonderful future a great opportunity with me, so please help me, help you. Help us my love."
And then she said she agreed with what I said 100% and she understood with what I said.
She agreed that she wanted us to spend more quality time together instead of constant arguing and fighting. She wanted us to workout. But regarding him she gave me some bullshit excuse to why he is in her life but she did agree that she will let him go....
I got in a fight with her Thursday morning and we haven't spoken since. She called me 18 times Thursday and that was it.
Today is Tuesday.
Honestly what bothers me is that she doesn't realize that she has been with him for six almost 7 years and he hasn't put a ring on her hand.
When I first met her I told her that because she has no ring on her hand she is fair game. I love poetry I love romance and I love Shakespeare and one of my favorite quotes is
"all is fair in love and war" thus I haven't given up on her.
I wanted to put a ring on her hand after a year I want her to marry me she wanted that too but things went sour ... I admitted my faults and I am still in therapy/counseling.
I told her straight up I said he's not serious if he was he would've put a ring on your hand.
click to expand
The thing was it was a tug of war and in the first half of my relationship I was winning her over and she was literally about to give up on him.
Then eventually I started to shove her away due to my controlling nature. I'm in therapy because I need to work on myself and my emotional behavior.
And I'm on DXP asking for advice on how to handle this lioness I am so madly in love with.
You lost. Go no contact, move on and learn from this experience. Learn to be happy alone first before going into any relationship.
So, did you call her?
Posted by Mark-23Did you not read what a couple of us said....you asked for guidance and we gave it and now you are back to square onePosted by MyStarsShine
So, did you call her?
No im nervous I don't know what to say If I call her..click to expand
😐
Posted by MyStarsShineNo no not square one love.... I'll call her definitely.i just don't know what to say... should I start with hey love where you been or what?!Posted by Mark-23Did you not read what a couple of us said....you asked for guidance and we gave it and now you are back to square onePosted by MyStarsShine
So, did you call her?
No im nervous I don't know what to say If I call her..
😐
click to expand
Go back and read what was written to you?
Posted by palehooves
if you've "ignored" her for 5 days and she hasn't contacted you why are you not seeing that for what it is? if she was really worried about you or the relationship she'd have contacted you by now. she's the one who is fucking up right now. it's up to her if she wants to come back or if she's letting you go.
you're making a fool of yourself with the talk on the board. you really need to take a step back and reevaluate what you're doing. this is no good.
honestly the best thing you could do is grow some balls and leave the relationship. you got physical with her. ther'es no going back from that. you gotta think about what you're doing.
1.) I did make a fool outta myself in the talk board but then again a lot of you folks helped me out
2.) how is she the one fucking up right now? Please explain?
Posted by palehooves
if she still has her ex around she's the one fucking up. if they're interested in each other and not just friends that's all i really need to say about that.
if you were smart you'd walk. sometimes love isn't enough and you have to save yourself. she's already brought out the worst in you. do you really need for her to bottom you out past the point of no return? abuse only gets worse. you'd both have to go to years of counseling for anything to get any better. if she open to that?
She said she needed time but she was definitely open for counseling and therapy for the both of us. Currently I'm the only one going to therapy and counseling and it's helped me quite a lot.
I agree with Nikistar. This relationship sounds dead and if it were me, I would eventually find my way out and on to something more alive. You play ignoring games, point fingers, stalk and emasculate yourself by participating in neverending 8.5" gossip online like a female? If I were her, I would watch you closely and keep a healthy distance. I agree with most people here: move on. If you cant approach her like a man (meaning no abuse or crazy dramatic situations), dont approach at all. Understand her life doesnt exist in a vacuum. And plain and simple if shes so horrible, roll out.
Posted by Mark-23When woman loves the man she doesn't care about ring on her...Posted by PootyButtPosted by Mark-23I might have missed something important. Is the ex the father of her child?Posted by PootyButtPosted by Mark-23If you have told her that you love her and want to be with her and that you're not okay with her ex being around, if you've been clear, and she doesn't care, I fear there isn't anything to salvage except your pride.Posted by PootyButt
By the way, you sound very desperate. That desperation is giving her waaaay too much power in the relationship. Each party needs to be equally invested and have relatively equal power. You're probably thinking "no shit, Sherlock, but I can't help it." I think you have to get to the root of that. Is this your first big love?
Yes is my first big love and the thing is that I care about it I've been in many relationships in the past but I never give a shit about those women and men they chased me they beg me to be with them I was a hard-core alpha male ....
With her the first year you know I was down to get married she was going to get married we both spoke of kids, we even cuddled and spoke of names for our children and we were going to have
She wanted me to be a father of her children she wanted all of that and a house
So my mind was caught up in all of that stuff you know and when you speak of children and a home with the woman and you actually imagine yourself doing all of that you don't just fall in love with the woman you fall in love with that idea
That's why it's so hard to give up on her and walk away
So 2 weeks ago we sat down and I told her... I said
"listen my love, I want us to move forward from the past and build a future. I want us to build our trust and mutual friendship the love and passion we once had. I would like for us to spend more time together. This is important if you want the house and the children, I want to put a roof over your daughters head. You'll needs to get rid of him (the ex) it's been 6 years, he's not gonna commit to you. There is no point. I want you to know that you have a chance for a wonderful future a great opportunity with me, so please help me, help you. Help us my love."
And then she said she agreed with what I said 100% and she understood with what I said.
She agreed that she wanted us to spend more quality time together instead of constant arguing and fighting. She wanted us to workout. But regarding him she gave me some bullshit excuse to why he is in her life but she did agree that she will let him go....
I got in a fight with her Thursday morning and we haven't spoken since. She called me 18 times Thursday and that was it.
Today is Tuesday.
Honestly what bothers me is that she doesn't realize that she has been with him for six almost 7 years and he hasn't put a ring on her hand.
When I first met her I told her that because she has no ring on her hand she is fair game. I love poetry I love romance and I love Shakespeare and one of my favorite quotes is
"all is fair in love and war" thus I haven't given up on her.
I wanted to put a ring on her hand after a year I want her to marry me she wanted that too but things went sour ... I admitted my faults and I am still in therapy/counseling.
I told her straight up I said he's not serious if he was he would've put a ring on your hand.
click to expand
All she wants is him in her!!!
She loves him! Nothing she can do about it. Same as you love her and nothing you can do about it! I am wondering whom he loves...
Posted by Mark-23You can't prevent the past it's already happened. All you can do is what you are doing, working on yourself.Posted by MadMarchRamPosted by Mark-23Way back when I was 17 I was cheated on, I had good synestry with my then bf. This means nothing if one or both aren't ready and evolved enough for a serious, loving relationship.Posted by MadMarchRamYou should check my synastry with her... it's amazingly passionate and full of love and passion. She is the love of my life...Posted by marshmallowIt is for this one!!!
I am more certain now ,about the fact that cheating is not a deal breaker for Aries .
That's why I haven't given up. Although I'm giving it my last chance before I finally walk away...
I'll appreciate everyone's support.
He cheated, then went to another town (where she was from) and moved in with her.
6wks later he was back with his tail between his legs in tears begging me back. Telling me how much he loved me and realised his mistake, because she wasn't me. He was still with her and was back for a home visit.
I told him "Leave her, come home and we'll see what happens. But I'm NOT being your side piece as you were MY man in the first place and I won't play 2nd fiddle!"
He walked away in tears and I haven't seen him since. (almost 21 yrs)
A few weeks later I found out he came back to our town with HER best friend.
In so glad I handled it the way I did as he probably would've cheated on me again ?.
I think everyone else is right though, you should walk away from this destructive pattern. There's no "going back to the way things were" after abuse, especially the physical kind. Work on yourself, learn from this and try to move on.
Sorry for the long post.
I'm not going back to the way things were, I'm moving forward and I wanna prevent the destruction and I'm asking fellow dxp users to help me in preventing the past and what I should do, OTHER THAN walking away...click to expand
I don't really know what advice I can give you, as the advice I have isn't what you want to hear.
Good luck, whatever you decided to do.
Posted by ImpulsvGood for you!Posted by MadMarchRamPosted by Mark-23Way back when I was 17 I was cheated on, I had good synestry with my then bf. This means nothing if one or both aren't ready and evolved enough for a serious, loving relationship.Posted by MadMarchRamYou should check my synastry with her... it's amazingly passionate and full of love and passion. She is the love of my life...Posted by marshmallowIt is for this one!!!
I am more certain now ,about the fact that cheating is not a deal breaker for Aries .
That's why I haven't given up. Although I'm giving it my last chance before I finally walk away...
I'll appreciate everyone's support.
He cheated, then went to another town (where she was from) and moved in with her.
6wks later he was back with his tail between his legs in tears begging me back. Telling me how much he loved me and realised his mistake, because she wasn't me. He was still with her and was back for a home visit.
I told him "Leave her, come home and we'll see what happens. But I'm NOT being your side piece as you were MY man in the first place and I won't play 2nd fiddle!"
He walked away in tears and I haven't seen him since. (almost 21 yrs)
A few weeks later I found out he came back to our town with HER best friend.
In so glad I handled it the way I did as he probably would've cheated on me again ?.
I think everyone else is right though, you should walk away from this destructive pattern. There's no "going back to the way things were" after abuse, especially the physical kind. Work on yourself, learn from this and try to move on.
Sorry for the long post.
Back when I was 17 my 19 yr old sag marine bf cheated
He begged n cried n he was the one to tell me he'd leave her
I said you can do whatever you want n leave her but I'm done.
click to expand
I kinda knew he wouldn't do what I asked and if I'm honest I'm glad he didn't as I probably would've eventually tried again.
Mine was a Gemini.
It's funny how they're upset and cry AFTER they've done it. ?
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