Ladies..a question. And its something I've heard many times..!

Why is it, that whenever a man has upset us, and we tell him, and the reason why, a lot of men get hurt and think we ladies are being mean! Then we are made to feel bad.

I'm sure there are women like this But...

I'm just talking about Men who do this. It's frustrating as hell. Because in the end, we ladies have to maneuver our way around their hurt feelings - even though they hurt ours - and we also have yo ACCEPT this too!

If we decide to stay of course!

I've had many convos with women over the years where they have complained about their husband upsetting them etc but they just have to accept it!

Whereas if/when a woman upsets a man First, its HUGE!

Gaslighting is not real, you're crazy.

Posted by Eggroll
Because some people have the emotional intelligence of toddlers. Hurting a man’s fragile ego is one of the most dangerous things you can do. They don’t like to be held accountable for their behaviors.

Hence why I’m single 😂

I used to be apprehensive about telling men that they’ve upset me because I didn’t want any tension, I didn’t want them to stop liking me, he won’t call me anymore, he’ll go towards another girl, in others words male validation meant something to me.

Not no fucking more…

Male validation and seeking it blindly doesn’t hold water anymore. I’m not scared to rock the boat, I’m not scared to say no, I’m not worried about being alone.

I’m not scared to say when I don’t like something. What do you know, they actually respect me more.

So what he don’t call me anymore because of his own embarrassment and shame. I removed someone from like energy field who didn’t really want me anyways.

They can weaponize their incompetence with another girl.

Posted by Astrobyn
Gaslighting is not real, you're crazy.

I don't even know why you said that.

I'm simply talking about rship issues women have told me over the years, and I simply noticed a recurring theme. That women put up with mens behaviour and work around it

Whereas men can't seem to handle being treated how they treat women.



Gaslighting has nothing to do with it!

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Eggroll
Because some people have the emotional intelligence of toddlers. Hurting a man’s fragile ego is one of the most dangerous things you can do. They don’t like to be held accountable for their behaviors.

Hence why I’m single 😂

click to expand

Its more peaceful isnt it 😊

Posted by Eggroll

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Eggroll
Because some people have the emotional intelligence of toddlers. Hurting a man’s fragile ego is one of the most dangerous things you can do. They don’t like to be held accountable for their behaviors.

Hence why I’m single 😂
click to expand

Lol


Have you ever tried to calmly express a concern to a man?


“Fine! I’ll just leave then since I’m so horrible to you!”


And they say we are dramatic 😅

click to expand

That is so true.

I've seen and experienced men literally say and do this 😁

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Astrobyn
Gaslighting is not real, you're crazy.

I don't even know why you said that.

I'm simply talking about rship issues women have told me over the years, and I simply noticed a recurring theme. That women put up with mens behaviour and work around it

Whereas men can't seem to handle being treated how they treat women.



Gaslighting has nothing to do with it!

click to expand

She's being sarcastic because it sounds like the men in question are gaslighting you.

Posted by Eggroll

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Eggroll
Because some people have the emotional intelligence of toddlers. Hurting a man’s fragile ego is one of the most dangerous things you can do. They don’t like to be held accountable for their behaviors.

Hence why I’m single 😂
click to expand

Lol


Have you ever tried to calmly express a concern to a man?


“Fine! I’ll just leave then since I’m so horrible to you!”


And they say we are dramatic 😅

click to expand

What is the concern?

Posted by Eggroll

Posted by Walk_on_by

Posted by Eggroll

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Eggroll
Because some people have the emotional intelligence of toddlers. Hurting a man’s fragile ego is one of the most dangerous things you can do. They don’t like to be held accountable for their behaviors.

Hence why I’m single 😂
click to expand

Lol

Have you ever tried to calmly express a concern to a man?

“Fine! I’ll just leave then since I’m so horrible to you!”

And they say we are dramatic 😅
click to expand

What is the concern?

I’m speaking in hypotheticals. There is no specific scenario I’m referring to.

click to expand

This is actually a perfect examples lmao, because men understand things when they're laid out in a simple logical fashion and women will be upset about something and then say "I’m speaking in hypotheticals. There is no specific scenario I’m referring to."

Or maybe not. Do you have any examples?

Posted by TXCowboy
As I've learned over the years, let the volcano go dormant on it's own.


I've learned to tune women out when they get whiny. And yes, I can tell when it's pure BS.

It's called hormones

Posted by Walk_on_by

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Astrobyn
Gaslighting is not real, you're crazy.

I don't even know why you said that.

I'm simply talking about rship issues women have told me over the years, and I simply noticed a recurring theme. That women put up with mens behaviour and work around it

Whereas men can't seem to handle being treated how they treat women.


Gaslighting has nothing to do with it!
click to expand

She's being sarcastic because it sounds like the men in question are gaslighting you.

click to expand

Ohhh. I didn't realise this. Sarcasm only works 9n me when I know the person. Otherwise I worry they are being unpleasant.

Thank you for explaining 😊

Posted by Eggroll

Posted by Walk_on_by

Posted by Eggroll

Posted by Walk_on_by

Posted by Eggroll

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Eggroll
Because some people have the emotional intelligence of toddlers. Hurting a man’s fragile ego is one of the most dangerous things you can do. They don’t like to be held accountable for their behaviors.

Hence why I’m single 😂
click to expand

Lol

Have you ever tried to calmly express a concern to a man?

“Fine! I’ll just leave then since I’m so horrible to you!”

And they say we are dramatic 😅
click to expand

What is the concern?

I’m speaking in hypotheticals. There is no specific scenario I’m referring to.

This is actually a perfect examples lmao, because men understand things when they're laid out in a simple logical fashion and women will be upset about something and then say "I’m speaking in hypotheticals. There is no specific scenario I’m referring to."


Or maybe not. Do you have any examples?

I have enough men in my real life to deal with. You’re going to have to find someone else to argue with.

click to expand

I was actually try to learn something hahaha. Goodluck with them.

Posted by TXCowboy

Posted by Astrobyn

Posted by TXCowboy
As I've learned over the years, let the volcano go dormant on it's own.

I've learned to tune women out when they get whiny. And yes, I can tell when it's pure BS.

It's called hormones

If only it was just that. Crappy behavior is crappy behavior.

click to expand

Y'all date shitty humans.

It's all in the delivery.

Posted by poppyflower

Posted by Walk_on_by

Posted by Eggroll

Posted by Walk_on_by

Posted by Eggroll

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Eggroll
Because some people have the emotional intelligence of toddlers. Hurting a man’s fragile ego is one of the most dangerous things you can do. They don’t like to be held accountable for their behaviors.

Hence why I’m single 😂
click to expand

Lol

Have you ever tried to calmly express a concern to a man?

“Fine! I’ll just leave then since I’m so horrible to you!”

And they say we are dramatic 😅
click to expand

What is the concern?

I’m speaking in hypotheticals. There is no specific scenario I’m referring to.
click to expand

This is actually a perfect examples lmao, because men understand things when they're laid out in a simple logical fashion and women will be upset about something and then say "I’m speaking in hypotheticals. There is no specific scenario I’m referring to."


Or maybe not. Do you have any examples?

I remember of a Scorp, whose Libra boyfriend at the time lived with her at her place. Apparently, the Libra often went to bed with dirty dishes in the sink and the lights left on. She brought it up to him multiple times (because the sink is shared and hydro can get quite expense) and if I remember, the Libra apparently saw it as nagging and criticizing.

click to expand

Yeah who cares about dishes in the sink. Leaving lights on is retarded though.

The truth is women are attracted to men who don't care about their feelings and don't care if they're hypocrites. That's how its always gonna be.

Ugh! It’s a complex issue. Attachment style s can have something to do with it. There is a difference between nagging and trying to talk feelings and your partner refuses to listen to you.. for fear of an attack when that isn’t what is meant. Some men just don’t like to deal with emotions & that leads to a serious lack of communication.

Yes guys, someone women are whiny, nag, etc but that doesn’t mean expressing feelings is always about that.

& yes examples would help here!!

Posted by pooface222
Why is it, that whenever a man has upset us, and we tell him, and the reason why, a lot of men get hurt and think we ladies are being mean! Then we are made to feel bad.


I'm sure there are women like this But...


I'm just talking about Men who do this. It's frustrating as hell. Because in the end, we ladies have to maneuver our way around their hurt feelings - even though they hurt ours - and we also have yo ACCEPT this too!

If we decide to stay of course!


I've had many convos with women over the years where they have complained about their husband upsetting them etc but they just have to accept it!

Whereas if/when a woman upsets a man First, its HUGE!

I think it's the way we phrase it. If we start aggressively accusing him and screaming, of course his ego is gonna be hurt and not want to listen and turn to defensive mode.

It's how any human ego works tbh, not just men.

We have to be gentle and assertive. Not accusing and aggressive.

whenever you try to break up with a dude, they always ask 'do you still love me?'

and there's just something about that which i just find kinda manipulative.

these men be actively cheating on you while including you in their family's phone plan too.

women look more into themselves at least when there's a problem in their relationships. like at least that insecurity invites self-reflection and scrutiny. like maybe looking into self-help books, counselling or their friends' or family's advice. men more often don't rely much on any of that nor any type of 'support groups.' they can resort to some troublesome outlets more often than women i think (not that there aren't some women who go the same route) but i suppose societal expectations play a huge role in this too.

but nowadays, i just feel lucky and thankful that i'm with someone who listens. coz in the past, i was with someone just as you've described who was just plainly dismissive. men who expect women to chase them when they dramatically walk out.

Posted by Saturn_Returns

Posted by pooface222

Why is it, that whenever a man has upset us, and we tell him, and the reason why, a lot of men get hurt and think we ladies are being mean! Then we are made to feel bad.


I'm sure there are women like this But...


I'm just talking about Men who do this. It's frustrating as hell. Because in the end, we ladies have to maneuver our way around their hurt feelings - even though they hurt ours - and we also have yo ACCEPT this too!

If we decide to stay of course!


I've had many convos with women over the years where they have complained about their husband upsetting them etc but they just have to accept it!

Whereas if/when a woman upsets a man First, its HUGE!

And with no plausible examples whatsoever. How convenient...

Talk about drastically simplifying an already complex issue.

click to expand

I could give LOTS of examples!

But..having already spoken extensively about my rship issues on here, I didn't want to drag up - what is already - stale news to lots of people on here who read and respond to my posts.

HENCE...I kept things simple.

Posted by StubbornSag
This is actually a good question and it does happen so often. Some men simply refuse to accept their accountability. Here's my rant of recent example of such situation and an all day long fight. He knows I'm extremely tired and stressed out to the max due to my life situation rn. I asked him to do something from my chores (it included googling and calling few numbers, to be exact) while I had to go out shopping for someone. And he complains later about why he had to do it saying I should do it myself...ok sure, don't help me while you're lying around doing nothing meanwhile I'm running around and losing my head from everything that's on my back. Then I have to wait for him cause he's too lazy to get ready in time to go out and when I urge him cause I'm already losing it and he knows I hate waiting...I'm being aggresive to him. After that, he asks me what he always does and I hate to do - to carry his clothes while he slowly puts stuff in his bag so that I have to carry it out. And he knows I hate carrying stuff in my hands and put everything in my bag. If he asked me to put it in my bag I would've done it but I simply hate it in my hands. So I stopped and said "ok, finish your bag and take it" and he gets mad cause I refuse to walk out with his clothes. And that was a whole big reason to not talk for hours and call me mean, to say that I take my frustration on him and that I have to make it up to him. He then proceeds with comparisment how he carries heavier grocery bags from car "for me" and how he could just make me carry them too. And to point out the ultimate insensitivity in this - I had several therapies for my back pain, he knows my scans showed spinal discs damaged (several), he knows I live with such pain for last ten years and it never goes away and he knows literally staff at therapy told me not to carry anything heavy. One time there, I was about to just move back bed I had to replace a bit and Gem wouldn't let me, despite it wasn't even that heavy. But hey, my own bf, who knows my issues better than anyone, says I should just carry heavy bags, because he doesn't feel like it 🙄 and also, I do carry them often despite my issues cause I go grocery shopping more on my own anyway. And that's how I'm having to apologize for my attitude and how I get to be the bad person somehow.

Yes!

Exactly my point. You have a very bad back with serious issues and for 10years! But hey..thats Nothing!, Zero! Who cares? Not Him! Clearly! All that matters is His issues and how Mean you are to him!

Its pathetic! And Disrespectful!

You are expected to Pander to him constantly while dealing with serious pain By Yourself while he sits there not giving a s**t about you!

This drives me Crazy with men!

I agree with you OP it's what I see too.. but we don't have to accept it when they upset us. I'm very expressive when this happens, but yeah it always felt like I'm fighting for my right to be heard. It's crazy

Posted by StubbornSag
This is actually a good question and it does happen so often. Some men simply refuse to accept their accountability. Here's my rant of recent example of such situation and an all day long fight. He knows I'm extremely tired and stressed out to the max due to my life situation rn. I asked him to do something from my chores (it included googling and calling few numbers, to be exact) while I had to go out shopping for someone. And he complains later about why he had to do it saying I should do it myself...ok sure, don't help me while you're lying around doing nothing meanwhile I'm running around and losing my head from everything that's on my back. Then I have to wait for him cause he's too lazy to get ready in time to go out and when I urge him cause I'm already losing it and he knows I hate waiting...I'm being aggresive to him. After that, he asks me what he always does and I hate to do - to carry his clothes while he slowly puts stuff in his bag so that I have to carry it out. And he knows I hate carrying stuff in my hands and put everything in my bag. If he asked me to put it in my bag I would've done it but I simply hate it in my hands. So I stopped and said "ok, finish your bag and take it" and he gets mad cause I refuse to walk out with his clothes. And that was a whole big reason to not talk for hours and call me mean, to say that I take my frustration on him and that I have to make it up to him. He then proceeds with comparisment how he carries heavier grocery bags from car "for me" and how he could just make me carry them too. And to point out the ultimate insensitivity in this - I had several therapies for my back pain, he knows my scans showed spinal discs damaged (several), he knows I live with such pain for last ten years and it never goes away and he knows literally staff at therapy told me not to carry anything heavy. One time there, I was about to just move back bed I had to replace a bit and Gem wouldn't let me, despite it wasn't even that heavy. But hey, my own bf, who knows my issues better than anyone, says I should just carry heavy bags, because he doesn't feel like it 🙄 and also, I do carry them often despite my issues cause I go grocery shopping more on my own anyway. And that's how I'm having to apologize for my attitude and how I get to be the bad person somehow.

He’s a disrespectful abusive prick

Why are you still with him?

Personally I think it's the way many women go about it. It's like 0 to 100 with emotions, which most men will instantly dislike. I I think if those type of women could keep a logical, down to earth state of mind rather then getting extremely emotional instantly, many men would be able to see their side and understand. I know I fuck up at times. Sometimes I say the wrong thing, or refuse to see someone's side. If a person comes at me emotional telling me I'm wrong, I'm 100% turning off, and considering it confrontation. If someone came at me with a level head, and wanted to break things down piece by piece about what I'm doing wrong, without making feel like an idiot, I'm way more likely to see their side, and even change myself.

Only boys have this kind of reaction. immature asf.

real men will be able to listen, care, and actively help resolve the issue with you.

Posted by StubbornSag

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by StubbornSag
This is actually a good question and it does happen so often. Some men simply refuse to accept their accountability. Here's my rant of recent example of such situation and an all day long fight. He knows I'm extremely tired and stressed out to the max due to my life situation rn. I asked him to do something from my chores (it included googling and calling few numbers, to be exact) while I had to go out shopping for someone. And he complains later about why he had to do it saying I should do it myself...ok sure, don't help me while you're lying around doing nothing meanwhile I'm running around and losing my head from everything that's on my back. Then I have to wait for him cause he's too lazy to get ready in time to go out and when I urge him cause I'm already losing it and he knows I hate waiting...I'm being aggresive to him. After that, he asks me what he always does and I hate to do - to carry his clothes while he slowly puts stuff in his bag so that I have to carry it out. And he knows I hate carrying stuff in my hands and put everything in my bag. If he asked me to put it in my bag I would've done it but I simply hate it in my hands. So I stopped and said "ok, finish your bag and take it" and he gets mad cause I refuse to walk out with his clothes. And that was a whole big reason to not talk for hours and call me mean, to say that I take my frustration on him and that I have to make it up to him. He then proceeds with comparisment how he carries heavier grocery bags from car "for me" and how he could just make me carry them too. And to point out the ultimate insensitivity in this - I had several therapies for my back pain, he knows my scans showed spinal discs damaged (several), he knows I live with such pain for last ten years and it never goes away and he knows literally staff at therapy told me not to carry anything heavy. One time there, I was about to just move back bed I had to replace a bit and Gem wouldn't let me, despite it wasn't even that heavy. But hey, my own bf, who knows my issues better than anyone, says I should just carry heavy bags, because he doesn't feel like it 🙄 and also, I do carry them often despite my issues cause I go grocery shopping more on my own anyway. And that's how I'm having to apologize for my attitude and how I get to be the bad person somehow.

He’s a disrespectful abusive prick

Why are you still with him?

Well, like I mentioned before, I keep having conflicted feelings about him. He can also be the most caring person in the world and entirely insensitive. I don't understand it. When I wrote that, I was sooooo stressed out and tired, everything got on my nerves at a time so I wasn't going to act on my impulses, cause I know I make choices I regret later when I make them in anger. So I left the entire situation to settle down and sort things out in my head once I'm in a better place for it. I've pushed back those feelings and I pushed back feelings I had about Gem and decided to simply work on myself for now and see where life takes me in regards of relationship. Right now it's simply convenient and sex is very good, will have to see how things develop from now on🤷🏼‍♀️ I've got less and less patience to tolerate anyone's bs, but can't deal with them either rn.

click to expand

He’s disrespectful and doesn’t support you

You’d tolerate all that for convenience and good sex?

Love yourself more Sag….

Women & Men do not resolve issues nor communicate the same way.

This is no different than asking the wife what's wrong and she says nothing.

Often, it's the delivery and the avoidance of conflict. By the time the frustration has built up of the on-going issue, it comes out pretty snappy and the man is confused. How many times have we heard the woman say she wants a divorce and the husband didn't see it coming.

Men need to learn how to read social cues and understand the personality and communication pattern of the woman they're dealing with. When the Kitchen is closed, often times she does not feel heard and understood.

If a woman upsets a man, he tells her.

When the man hurts the woman's feelings, she doesn't know how to tell him without starting an argument. So her behavior changes.. Now the guy can't figure out what the problem is.