My crush is taken

Has anyone else been in this situation? It hurts like hell! It feels really uncomfortable and frustrating. I fell in love with my crush a few years ago and he was taken then and is still taken now. He has every quality that I've always wanted in a person and I find him so attractive. I've never felt this way about anyone, not even my ex. After awhile though I decided to cut him cold turkey and stop being friends with him because I couldn't take it anymore. 3 years passed without a word and I decided to email him again and reconnect and it's like NOTHING has changed. I'm still absolutely mad for this guy and it SUCKS. After 3 years of life you'd think it would have calmed down at least a little bit but NOPE. In fact I think I've got the hots for him harder than I ever did. He's just so... charming. He has a way that just puts a spell on me. I still respect him and would like him in my life even if it's just as a friend, but any time he brings his partner up I want to get physically sick. It's awful.

Posted by HoneyHaunting_

Has anyone else been in this situation? It hurts like hell! It feels really uncomfortable and frustrating. I fell in love with my crush a few years ago and he was taken then and is still taken now. He has every quality that I've always wanted in a person and I find him so attractive. I've never felt this way about anyone, not even my ex. After awhile though I decided to cut him cold turkey and stop being friends with him because I couldn't take it anymore. 3 years passed without a word and I decided to email him again and reconnect and it's like NOTHING has changed. I'm still absolutely mad for this guy and it SUCKS. After 3 years of life you'd think it would have calmed down at least a little bit but NOPE. In fact I think I've got the hots for him harder than I ever did. He's just so... charming. He has a way that just puts a spell on me. I still respect him and would like him in my life even if it's just as a friend, but any time he brings his partner up I want to get physically sick. It's awful.

Wanna hug? From sister who is in the same shit for 9 years?

This crap doesn’t fade. Doesn’t dissapear. It does seems like it gets deeper and it hurts like hell! And nobody can even come close! God made just one of him! ❤️

My crush isn't even my friend lol

It’s so easy, try to steal him from her.



I always do this, by accident

Posted by Impulsv

Yeah because it’s time to let it go

So you can find the same with an available man.

N if years pass n he’s available then your available then go ahead

Thanks for the tip Captain Obvious. Clearly it's not that simple.

Posted by -sierra-

you should stay away from him

have an unrequited crush from afar

Been there done that.

Posted by -sierra-

Posted by HoneyHaunting_

Posted by -sierra-

you should stay away from him

have an unrequited crush from afar

Been there done that.

the woman he's with... build her up in your head like she must be really hot and all that.. usually helps in getting over a crush to think you have below zero chance

until you start thinking 'aww they're so cute together'

you may still have a crush but now you ship them lol instead of getting in the way

click to expand

I've met his girlfriend several times and talked to her. She's not all that tbh really plain and boring. But I'm good. 👌

Posted by Gnu

Yeah it's delusional. It's hope that you're in love with. Maybe if you're in an actual relationship for twenty plus years you may grow to hate his touch or maybe not. The thing is you don't know the actual person until you are actually living day to day and dealing with real life problems and not fantasies.

You sound really offended like this is personal to you or something. Stop coming for me like I need a reality check. You don't know anything about the level of intimacy of our friendship so go be bitter somewhere else.

God why does everyone here act like such a spiteful or know it all b*tch. Can I just vent and listen to similar experiences without the unsolicited therapy and toxic reactions pls

Posted by MissKrabs

Posted by HoneyHaunting_

God why does everyone here act like such a spiteful or know it all b*tch. Can I just vent and listen to similar experiences without the unsolicited therapy and toxic reactions pls

it's internet? chill.

click to expand

I get it's the internet but it's still mad annoying 🙄

Posted by MissKrabs

Posted by Black-Mamba

It's his birthday today.

leo with the big dik?

click to expand

How did you knooow. His birthday is in a few weeks. Ion know anything about the d situation though lmao

He is taken

He talks about his partner

Leave him alone

Posted by nanobot

Move on

There are billions of other fish in the sea

I've noticed some women seem to be attracted to attached men, whether that is an unconscious thing or not, it's not good

Posted by MissKrabs

thanks whomever when i realize someone is taken it's like someone put a tons of ice on my head.

Me too

I'm really turned off by attached men and have had a few run-ins with some that have approached me. Go back to your wife, you idiot

Ugh

👎🏻

He enjoys having u as a friend at least

Posted by nanobot

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by nanobot

Move on

There are billions of other fish in the sea

I've noticed some women seem to be attracted to attached men, whether that is an unconscious thing or not, it's not good

I can't think of really any situation where a guy would be so amazing to me that I would pine over him for years when he's taken or be willing to try to fight off his girlfriend or wife lmao. That's way too much effort, and such a waste of time. I have learned to not waste time and emotion in failed romantic pursuits. I'm either going to be happily single or I'm going to be in a situation with an available man where I think it can work or I am at least willing to give it a shot.

I feel bad for the women who waste so many years of their lives on unrequited love

click to expand

👍

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by nanobot

Move on

There are billions of other fish in the sea

I've noticed some women seem to be attracted to attached men, whether that is an unconscious thing or not, it's not good

Men with girlfriends will always be more attractive than single men. Mate choice copying.

There’s nothing wrong with having a crush. There is something wrong with acting on it.

click to expand

Attractive to who?

Not me.....👎🏻

Posted by nanobot

Move on

There are billions of other fish in the sea

What part of it's not that easy do you guys not understand. What part of I had to cut him off and left for 3 years did you not understand. Why do you guys act like it's that simple. I'm not going to do anything besides being his friend for christ sake. But I also can't turn my feelings off? And a guy that I actually like is really hard to come by.

Posted by Arachnophobia

You always wan't what you can't have.

No? This isn't really a case of that. I don't get off on some taboo forbidden fruit relationships. I just fell for a friend who HAPPENED to be taken. It happens. I'm just trying to ignore my feelings to the best of my abilities.

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by nanobot

Move on

There are billions of other fish in the sea

I've noticed some women seem to be attracted to attached men, whether that is an unconscious thing or not, it's not good

Men with girlfriends will always be more attractive than single men. Mate choice copying.

There’s nothing wrong with having a crush. There is something wrong with acting on it.

click to expand

This. I am allowed to have a crush on whomever I want but if they are taken I will not and am not going to act on it tbh. I just try to ignore the feelings but it's really really hard. I am trying to just work on myself and keep busy with other things in the mean time.

Posted by MyStarsShine

He is taken

He talks about his partner

Leave him alone

He is also my friend.

He is allowed to talk about his partner.

He wants me around as he cares for me as well.

Posted by Aquarelle

I have been in this situation and felt pretty similar to you. I also cut contact, thinking that would help. But it didn't. I had formed too many attachments.

Sometimes people make such a huge impression on you, mentally and spiritually, that it almost seems impossible to let that go.

You can only move on from this if you truly want it and if you are truly ready to drop all attachments. If you are not, well, then forget it, it will not work. Because your soul will be overjoyed every time you hear from him or see him again.

You don't have to move on from this man if you don't want to. It's up to you how you want to live your life. The moment you decide you deserve a man who will be there for you, that is the moment it will probably all start to change. So basically, this is all about yourself and what the experience teaches you.

This is really powerful, thank you! I'm sorry to hear you went through something similar but it's nice to hear I'm not alone. It's crazy how sometimes a person just walks into your life and makes an impression that lasts for a lifetime!

Posted by GemCurio

Posted by HoneyHaunting_

God why does everyone here act like such a spiteful or know it all b*tch. Can I just vent and listen to similar experiences without the unsolicited therapy and toxic reactions pls

Get use to cursing out self absorbed emotionally tight lipped individuals.. They're like this..



Most do not understand how to love anyway. That higher ground that requires humility and selflessness. The kind that suffers a little every day in hope. I'm rooting for you..

click to expand

Apparently! Sheesh. It's crazy how people just give you unsolicited cookie cutter advice and expect you to do it like it'sthe only right answer— Anywho thanks for the support and giving me a chuckle. I'm rooting for you too in whatever endeavors you may face in your life 😎

So, do you want to just vent about this situation, or what do you want from this thread?

You're becoming agitated with any users that you believe are being negative, or telling you to move on. And while I can see you won't be making moves on this crush, because you at least respect that part, you still have some unhealthy thinking.

Whether you are angry or not by this, I don't care. The fact that you have something negative to say about his gf being boring and plain. That's you subconsciously judging her. And part of you is likely to be comparing her to yourself.

And if you have cut him out for 3 years, and then come back and still have these unresolved feelings, I really can't see this as anything other than you being in love with an illusion. People change in 3 years time, and he is still with his plain and boring girlfriend.

You voluntarily removed yourself for your own benefit, yet you reached out again. Why? I mean if you've met his gf, then you obviously know him in real life as well. If that's the case, just how good of friends are you that he didn't mind losing your friendship for 3 years?

People are going to tell you to move on, because this whole situation is unhealthy for you. No good can come of this. You're only course of action is to move on, or try and steal him from his gf. Which is it that you want? Because you can vent all you want, but you will get responses you won't like.

Posted by nikkistar

So, do you want to just vent about this situation, or what do you want from this thread?

You're becoming agitated with any users that you believe are being negative, or telling you to move on. And while I can see you won't be making moves on this crush, because you at least respect that part, you still have some unhealthy thinking.

Whether you are angry or not by this, I don't care. The fact that you have something negative to say about his gf being boring and plain. That's you subconsciously judging her. And part of you is likely to be comparing her to yourself.

And if you have cut him out for 3 years, and then come back and still have these unresolved feelings, I really can't see this as anything other than you being in love with an illusion. People change in 3 years time, and he is still with his plain and boring girlfriend.

You voluntarily removed yourself for your own benefit, yet you reached out again. Why? I mean if you've met his gf, then you obviously know him in real life as well. If that's the case, just how good of friends are you that he didn't mind losing your friendship for 3 years?

People are going to tell you to move on, because this whole situation is unhealthy for you. No good can come of this. You're only course of action is to move on, or try and steal him from his gf. Which is it that you want? Because you can vent all you want, but you will get responses you won't like.

Literally I just want to vent and hear how people felt if they've been in similar situations that's all.

Posted by HoneyHaunting_

Posted by nikkistar

So, do you want to just vent about this situation, or what do you want from this thread?

You're becoming agitated with any users that you believe are being negative, or telling you to move on. And while I can see you won't be making moves on this crush, because you at least respect that part, you still have some unhealthy thinking.

Whether you are angry or not by this, I don't care. The fact that you have something negative to say about his gf being boring and plain. That's you subconsciously judging her. And part of you is likely to be comparing her to yourself.

And if you have cut him out for 3 years, and then come back and still have these unresolved feelings, I really can't see this as anything other than you being in love with an illusion. People change in 3 years time, and he is still with his plain and boring girlfriend.

You voluntarily removed yourself for your own benefit, yet you reached out again. Why? I mean if you've met his gf, then you obviously know him in real life as well. If that's the case, just how good of friends are you that he didn't mind losing your friendship for 3 years?

People are going to tell you to move on, because this whole situation is unhealthy for you. No good can come of this. You're only course of action is to move on, or try and steal him from his gf. Which is it that you want? Because you can vent all you want, but you will get responses you won't like.

Literally I just want to vent and hear how people felt if they've been in similar situations that's all.

click to expand

It's the internet. And most of all its DXP. People are going to say things you don't like.

You have actually been treated pretty civilly on this thread, than most others.

I, personally, have never been in a situation where I crushed on anyone for years. For me, it's a waste of my precious time to allot it to someone for years, when i can give it to someone else just as worthy within reach.

I hope you get past this, for your own sake.

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by HoneyHaunting_

Posted by nikkistar

So, do you want to just vent about this situation, or what do you want from this thread?

You're becoming agitated with any users that you believe are being negative, or telling you to move on. And while I can see you won't be making moves on this crush, because you at least respect that part, you still have some unhealthy thinking.

Whether you are angry or not by this, I don't care. The fact that you have something negative to say about his gf being boring and plain. That's you subconsciously judging her. And part of you is likely to be comparing her to yourself.

And if you have cut him out for 3 years, and then come back and still have these unresolved feelings, I really can't see this as anything other than you being in love with an illusion. People change in 3 years time, and he is still with his plain and boring girlfriend.

You voluntarily removed yourself for your own benefit, yet you reached out again. Why? I mean if you've met his gf, then you obviously know him in real life as well. If that's the case, just how good of friends are you that he didn't mind losing your friendship for 3 years?

People are going to tell you to move on, because this whole situation is unhealthy for you. No good can come of this. You're only course of action is to move on, or try and steal him from his gf. Which is it that you want? Because you can vent all you want, but you will get responses you won't like.

Literally I just want to vent and hear how people felt if they've been in similar situations that's all.

It's the internet. And most of all its DXP. People are going to say things you don't like.

You have actually been treated pretty civilly on this thread, than most others.

I, personally, have never been in a situation where I crushed on anyone for years. For me, it's a waste of my precious time to allot it to someone for years, when i can give it to someone else just as worthy within reach.

I hope you get past this, for your own sake.

click to expand

It's that "just as worthy" part that I'm not getting. I get that love will eventually find me over time but it seems so unlikely in my head. I've only dated 2 people (1 I dated while I was friends with said crush) and those two people alone felt incredibly rare to me. Indeed. Hopefully I can move on past these feelings. I wish I didn't have them. They're so distracting and I feel it's taking away from how fun and wholesome the friendship is.

Posted by HoneyHaunting_

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by HoneyHaunting_

Posted by nikkistar

So, do you want to just vent about this situation, or what do you want from this thread?

You're becoming agitated with any users that you believe are being negative, or telling you to move on. And while I can see you won't be making moves on this crush, because you at least respect that part, you still have some unhealthy thinking.

Whether you are angry or not by this, I don't care. The fact that you have something negative to say about his gf being boring and plain. That's you subconsciously judging her. And part of you is likely to be comparing her to yourself.

And if you have cut him out for 3 years, and then come back and still have these unresolved feelings, I really can't see this as anything other than you being in love with an illusion. People change in 3 years time, and he is still with his plain and boring girlfriend.

You voluntarily removed yourself for your own benefit, yet you reached out again. Why? I mean if you've met his gf, then you obviously know him in real life as well. If that's the case, just how good of friends are you that he didn't mind losing your friendship for 3 years?

People are going to tell you to move on, because this whole situation is unhealthy for you. No good can come of this. You're only course of action is to move on, or try and steal him from his gf. Which is it that you want? Because you can vent all you want, but you will get responses you won't like.

Literally I just want to vent and hear how people felt if they've been in similar situations that's all.

It's the internet. And most of all its DXP. People are going to say things you don't like.

You have actually been treated pretty civilly on this thread, than most others.

I, personally, have never been in a situation where I crushed on anyone for years. For me, it's a waste of my precious time to allot it to someone for years, when i can give it to someone else just as worthy within reach.

I hope you get past this, for your own sake.

It's that "just as worthy" part that I'm not getting. I get that love will eventually find me over time but it seems so unlikely in my head. I've only dated 2 people (1 I dated while I was friends with said crush) and those two people alone felt incredibly rare to me. Indeed. Hopefully I can move on past these feelings. I wish I didn't have them. They're so distracting and I feel it's taking away from how fun and wholesome the friendship is.

click to expand

Well, here's the issue and a conundrum for you as well, you truly haven't given 100% to any of your past, future, or present dates, because you haven't let go of your crush. Until you do, you will likely always subconsciously reserve a part of yourself away from those you date, because of your unresolved feelings for your crush. And in doing so, you won't move on.

Posted by Aquarelle

Posted by HoneyHaunting_

Posted by Aquarelle

I have been in this situation and felt pretty similar to you. I also cut contact, thinking that would help. But it didn't. I had formed too many attachments.

Sometimes people make such a huge impression on you, mentally and spiritually, that it almost seems impossible to let that go.

You can only move on from this if you truly want it and if you are truly ready to drop all attachments. If you are not, well, then forget it, it will not work. Because your soul will be overjoyed every time you hear from him or see him again.

You don't have to move on from this man if you don't want to. It's up to you how you want to live your life. The moment you decide you deserve a man who will be there for you, that is the moment it will probably all start to change. So basically, this is all about yourself and what the experience teaches you.

This is really powerful, thank you! I'm sorry to hear you went through something similar but it's nice to hear I'm not alone. It's crazy how sometimes a person just walks into your life and makes an impression that lasts for a lifetime!

Yes, it is crazy, but it does happen to more people so you are definitely not alone in this. Mine was, and still is, married. He has issues to work out with her and he needs to do that on his own. If I don't contact him, after a while he will show up in my dreams, or he will start to look for me. Believe, me I have tried everything out of respect for his marriage, buried myself in work, left the house more often, but nothing helped. Well, meditation helped a little.

You have to experience this to be able to understand it is not just a fantasy or some delusion. I have been in several relationships but nothing even comes close to the feeling of intimacy and connection I had for this man who was not even my type (or so I thought). I didn't even know he was married when we first connected. He told me that later on. I strongly believe though that it is about self love. I realised the less I fight it, the better I can handle it. It gave me a lot of peace to realise that from then on he would always be some part of me through our connection. Ever since, I have never felt alone again. Just trying to see the beauty in that now. Babysteps.

click to expand

YES. This is exactly what I wanted. That's crazy how similar that sounds to my situation. I did everything to try and distract myself. I exercised, worked (am looking for a 2nd job), hung out with my friend a lot, went to school, read self help books, tried meditating, waited, and waited and waited and it just didn't get better. I even dated someone else! Sometimes I would forget about how intense my crush is but man those feelings always came back. Nothing really helped fill the void that is a genuine desire for a strong connection with someone. These feelings are real and indeed weird. They're really painful and they suck. I wish I just didn't love him this crazily. I wish I could just have a nice normal friendship with him but it's so hard to turn off.

Posted by FantamRooster

Posted by HoneyHaunting_

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by HoneyHaunting_

Posted by nikkistar

So, do you want to just vent about this situation, or what do you want from this thread?

You're becoming agitated with any users that you believe are being negative, or telling you to move on. And while I can see you won't be making moves on this crush, because you at least respect that part, you still have some unhealthy thinking.

Whether you are angry or not by this, I don't care. The fact that you have something negative to say about his gf being boring and plain. That's you subconsciously judging her. And part of you is likely to be comparing her to yourself.

And if you have cut him out for 3 years, and then come back and still have these unresolved feelings, I really can't see this as anything other than you being in love with an illusion. People change in 3 years time, and he is still with his plain and boring girlfriend.

You voluntarily removed yourself for your own benefit, yet you reached out again. Why? I mean if you've met his gf, then you obviously know him in real life as well. If that's the case, just how good of friends are you that he didn't mind losing your friendship for 3 years?

People are going to tell you to move on, because this whole situation is unhealthy for you. No good can come of this. You're only course of action is to move on, or try and steal him from his gf. Which is it that you want? Because you can vent all you want, but you will get responses you won't like.

Literally I just want to vent and hear how people felt if they've been in similar situations that's all.

It's the internet. And most of all its DXP. People are going to say things you don't like.

You have actually been treated pretty civilly on this thread, than most others.

I, personally, have never been in a situation where I crushed on anyone for years. For me, it's a waste of my precious time to allot it to someone for years, when i can give it to someone else just as worthy within reach.

I hope you get past this, for your own sake.

It's that "just as worthy" part that I'm not getting. I get that love will eventually find me over time but it seems so unlikely in my head. I've only dated 2 people (1 I dated while I was friends with said crush) and those two people alone felt incredibly rare to me. Indeed. Hopefully I can move on past these feelings. I wish I didn't have them. They're so distracting and I feel it's taking away from how fun and wholesome the friendship is.

You're a romantic. The people on here who are not really can't understand your point of view. They're like "why do you love that person!?! It's not logical." And the person in love is like...um, what the fuck is logical about love? lol What these people don't see is the more they trash your feelings as "not real" the more you'll not listen to them, because you know your feelings are real.

The thing is, your devotion to your feelings WILL hold you back from moving on. Try to imagine what it would be like to be outside of this situation. Try to detach from the idea that you must be with him to find happiness. What would a happy relationship look like for you?

click to expand

Thank you! This is probably the best response I've received. Like how rude do you have to be to say I'm delusional like I'm sorry? I can't help feeling this way. As if I'm stupid or something. I am def a romantic and it sucks in a generation like this where hookup culture is practiced and preferred. I will def try my best to remove my feelings and try not to romanticize him so hard. It's difficult when you're legit never met anyone like them y'know. Now that I think about it though he has some traits that I don't like as well.

A happy relationship to me is one where the communication is SPOT ON. One where I am valued and respected and adored till the ends of the earth. A relationship with undeniable chemistry. I want a partner who's intelligent emotionally and logically. I want a partner who doesn't shut down when things get tough but fight for me instead.

Posted by HoneyHaunting_

Has anyone else been in this situation? It hurts like hell! It feels really uncomfortable and frustrating. I fell in love with my crush a few years ago and he was taken then and is still taken now. He has every quality that I've always wanted in a person and I find him so attractive. I've never felt this way about anyone, not even my ex. After awhile though I decided to cut him cold turkey and stop being friends with him because I couldn't take it anymore. 3 years passed without a word and I decided to email him again and reconnect and it's like NOTHING has changed. I'm still absolutely mad for this guy and it SUCKS. After 3 years of life you'd think it would have calmed down at least a little bit but NOPE. In fact I think I've got the hots for him harder than I ever did. He's just so... charming. He has a way that just puts a spell on me. I still respect him and would like him in my life even if it's just as a friend, but any time he brings his partner up I want to get physically sick. It's awful.

Yes, it sucks. But usually the crush starts because of some attention/tension between the two. That's why it's more hard like dammit why did you give me that look, talk like that if you were not available or going to pursue, why you made me crush on you. In your case did he give you a reason to crush on him?

Posted by FantamRooster

Posted by -sierra-

Posted by FantamRooster

Posted by HoneyHaunting_

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by HoneyHaunting_

Posted by nikkistar

So, do you want to just vent about this situation, or what do you want from this thread?

You're becoming agitated with any users that you believe are being negative, or telling you to move on. And while I can see you won't be making moves on this crush, because you at least respect that part, you still have some unhealthy thinking.

Whether you are angry or not by this, I don't care. The fact that you have something negative to say about his gf being boring and plain. That's you subconsciously judging her. And part of you is likely to be comparing her to yourself.

And if you have cut him out for 3 years, and then come back and still have these unresolved feelings, I really can't see this as anything other than you being in love with an illusion. People change in 3 years time, and he is still with his plain and boring girlfriend.

You voluntarily removed yourself for your own benefit, yet you reached out again. Why? I mean if you've met his gf, then you obviously know him in real life as well. If that's the case, just how good of friends are you that he didn't mind losing your friendship for 3 years?

People are going to tell you to move on, because this whole situation is unhealthy for you. No good can come of this. You're only course of action is to move on, or try and steal him from his gf. Which is it that you want? Because you can vent all you want, but you will get responses you won't like.

Literally I just want to vent and hear how people felt if they've been in similar situations that's all.

It's the internet. And most of all its DXP. People are going to say things you don't like.

You have actually been treated pretty civilly on this thread, than most others.

I, personally, have never been in a situation where I crushed on anyone for years. For me, it's a waste of my precious time to allot it to someone for years, when i can give it to someone else just as worthy within reach.

I hope you get past this, for your own sake.

It's that "just as worthy" part that I'm not getting. I get that love will eventually find me over time but it seems so unlikely in my head. I've only dated 2 people (1 I dated while I was friends with said crush) and those two people alone felt incredibly rare to me. Indeed. Hopefully I can move on past these feelings. I wish I didn't have them. They're so distracting and I feel it's taking away from how fun and wholesome the friendship is.

You're a romantic. The people on here who are not really can't understand your point of view. They're like "why do you love that person!?! It's not logical." And the person in love is like...um, what the fuck is logical about love? lol What these people don't see is the more they trash your feelings as "not real" the more you'll not listen to them, because you know your feelings are real.

The thing is, your devotion to your feelings WILL hold you back from moving on. Try to imagine what it would be like to be outside of this situation. Try to detach from the idea that you must be with him to find happiness. What would a happy relationship look like for you?

i've never crushed on anyone in my actual life that's already taken.. always single

i've had superficial crushes on celebs like jeff bridges or emilio estefan (it's safer coz i know it's never gonna happen) plus part of my crush on them is coz they're married for like 40+ years (that's a plus for the requirement of never gonna happen clause + older than my dad so even more impossible).. impossible crushes are best

BUT even if my actual real life crushes are single, not like i'm gonna do anything about that coz my crushes aren't even in a sexual way really lol (hard to explain) + I'M already taken (even more lolz)

in fact, it's a turn off to ask me out/flirt with me if you're my crush and you know i'm with someone.. my crush on you will die immediately so it always works out for me

also i believe that people give themselves chances/opportunities to act on something.. you allow things, always i believe that you have a hand in the circumstances that you get into.. maybe not 100% but you've made some contribution somehow..

Some people have blurry boundaries and get themselves into these situations all the time. I have sympathy for them too, but less. Other people maybe let their guard down once or twice, at the exact wrong moment and find themselves in an Anna Karenina type situation.

click to expand

That bitch left her child!!! Bad example!

Posted by FantamRooster

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by FantamRooster

Posted by -sierra-

Posted by FantamRooster

Posted by HoneyHaunting_

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by HoneyHaunting_

Posted by nikkistar

So, do you want to just vent about this situation, or what do you want from this thread?

You're becoming agitated with any users that you believe are being negative, or telling you to move on. And while I can see you won't be making moves on this crush, because you at least respect that part, you still have some unhealthy thinking.

Whether you are angry or not by this, I don't care. The fact that you have something negative to say about his gf being boring and plain. That's you subconsciously judging her. And part of you is likely to be comparing her to yourself.

And if you have cut him out for 3 years, and then come back and still have these unresolved feelings, I really can't see this as anything other than you being in love with an illusion. People change in 3 years time, and he is still with his plain and boring girlfriend.

You voluntarily removed yourself for your own benefit, yet you reached out again. Why? I mean if you've met his gf, then you obviously know him in real life as well. If that's the case, just how good of friends are you that he didn't mind losing your friendship for 3 years?

People are going to tell you to move on, because this whole situation is unhealthy for you. No good can come of this. You're only course of action is to move on, or try and steal him from his gf. Which is it that you want? Because you can vent all you want, but you will get responses you won't like.

Literally I just want to vent and hear how people felt if they've been in similar situations that's all.

It's the internet. And most of all its DXP. People are going to say things you don't like.

You have actually been treated pretty civilly on this thread, than most others.

I, personally, have never been in a situation where I crushed on anyone for years. For me, it's a waste of my precious time to allot it to someone for years, when i can give it to someone else just as worthy within reach.

I hope you get past this, for your own sake.

It's that "just as worthy" part that I'm not getting. I get that love will eventually find me over time but it seems so unlikely in my head. I've only dated 2 people (1 I dated while I was friends with said crush) and those two people alone felt incredibly rare to me. Indeed. Hopefully I can move on past these feelings. I wish I didn't have them. They're so distracting and I feel it's taking away from how fun and wholesome the friendship is.

You're a romantic. The people on here who are not really can't understand your point of view. They're like "why do you love that person!?! It's not logical." And the person in love is like...um, what the fuck is logical about love? lol What these people don't see is the more they trash your feelings as "not real" the more you'll not listen to them, because you know your feelings are real.

The thing is, your devotion to your feelings WILL hold you back from moving on. Try to imagine what it would be like to be outside of this situation. Try to detach from the idea that you must be with him to find happiness. What would a happy relationship look like for you?

i've never crushed on anyone in my actual life that's already taken.. always single

i've had superficial crushes on celebs like jeff bridges or emilio estefan (it's safer coz i know it's never gonna happen) plus part of my crush on them is coz they're married for like 40+ years (that's a plus for the requirement of never gonna happen clause + older than my dad so even more impossible).. impossible crushes are best

BUT even if my actual real life crushes are single, not like i'm gonna do anything about that coz my crushes aren't even in a sexual way really lol (hard to explain) + I'M already taken (even more lolz)

in fact, it's a turn off to ask me out/flirt with me if you're my crush and you know i'm with someone.. my crush on you will die immediately so it always works out for me

also i believe that people give themselves chances/opportunities to act on something.. you allow things, always i believe that you have a hand in the circumstances that you get into.. maybe not 100% but you've made some contribution somehow..

Some people have blurry boundaries and get themselves into these situations all the time. I have sympathy for them too, but less. Other people maybe let their guard down once or twice, at the exact wrong moment and find themselves in an Anna Karenina type situation.

That bitch left her child!!! Bad example!

lol

Good memory. That was just the first literary love triangle that came to mind.

click to expand

My great granny ended her life like that. So I was told my whole youth that my gran gran was Anna Karenina...then I saw the movie...lol

Posted by Haruuka

It’s so easy, try to steal him from her.



I always do this, by accident

That's hot.

Posted by HoneyHaunting_

God why does everyone here act like such a spiteful or know it all b*tch. Can I just vent and listen to similar experiences without the unsolicited therapy and toxic reactions pls

I mean welcome to dxpnet

Posted by Sag898

Posted by HoneyHaunting_

God why does everyone here act like such a spiteful or know it all b*tch. Can I just vent and listen to similar experiences without the unsolicited therapy and toxic reactions pls

I mean welcome to dxpnet

click to expand

Sometimes at DXP, If you are not posting and being vulnerable with your own life, you can appear flippant and condescending and judgmental.

It would help tremendously if everyone was vulnerable on DXP.

Then there would be more empathy