My mum keeps in contact with my ex

And I'm calm about it because I'm not surprised but I'm pissed off...My ex moved out in February and some of his shit is.still here because my mum said he can keep it here till he moves to his new place in a month but he doesn't live here.

Today I was looking for mouthwash in my bathroom and things had been moved around and I had a hunch he had been here so I asked mum and turns out he's been coming over while I'm at work and that makes me feel really uncomfortable and kind of violated especially since he.left a voodoo poppet in my room when he left.

Last night I needed to get herbs from the garden for.cooking so I grabbed mum's phone off the outside table.for light and their conversation screen came up and it said "coast is clear" to him which meant he could come over after I left....What the actual Fuck? How the Fuck does she think it makes me feel that she's playing both sides like this, I moved here.Last year when she had cancer and it's.cleared up now so I'm at no liberty to stay anymore, I was the one who looked after her and cried for her and she.goes out of her way for this piece of shit...

another thing is I haven't even thought about him for 3 weeks and now this just make my blood boil the fucking.Bitch is making it harder for me to get him out of my life.

Anyways I.called my little brother up and he let her have it..

I'm Australian you Fuck tard

And if you must know YES I want the whole cookie jar for being her servant the whole time I waschanging dressings, massaging her, doing the shopping and cooking three meals a day for that fussy cunt wouldn't even eat my vegetarian curry because there was no meat in it, I would give that Bitch an arm and a leg and she goes behind my back and is all shady treating me like a stranger in my own.house, I.moved here from the.city and I pay 150 a week which is the same I was paying rent in the city, I wasn't even on carers pension...

So no I don't expect a cookie but maybe some fucking respect and loyalty, things are going.missing in my house while I'm at work, the one thing I fucking hate is turning the fucking house over for a bottle of fucking mouthwash!!

God I swear some people are such insensitive fucking assailed holes

Nope it's cancer, in all honesty I don't think she set out to hurt.me I just hate when people keep.secrets from me and shit gets done behind my back and are stupid enough to let. Me find out

That is sooo not okay! Change locks and have a serious talk with your mother! Jeez!

Thaaaank you!! Thought I was taking crazy pills for a second there.

I've told my mother and she's said nothing which I guess is a good thing because usually she would be running her mouth saying she has every right to and she can do whatever the Fuck she wants etc but I guess she's got nothing to say about it which means she knows she was wrong to do so maybe because knows if I invited her ex husband (my dad) around and she didn't know she wouldn't like it either.

Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
Thaaaank you!! Thought I was taking crazy pills for a second there.

I've told my mother and she's said nothing which I guess is a good thing because usually she would be running her mouth saying she has every right to and she can do whatever the Fuck she wants etc but I guess she's got nothing to say about it which means she knows she was wrong to do so maybe because knows if I invited her ex husband (my dad) around and she didn't know she wouldn't like it either.

Does that mean she knows she's wrong...so she won't do it again, or she knows she's wrong...but not really, and will do what the fuck she likes in the future too? If I were you, I would make sure she gets it, and not through your brother, but directly. Worst case scenario - move out. You really shouldn't be treated like that. Imo.

In my opinion, meek and humble as it is, there are several factors to consider.

Were your ex and your mom close when you were with your ex?
If so, is it really fair to them to have to end a friendship just because you and he broke up?

Did yall break up on bad terms?
f he broke up with you, then she should be hurt that he hurt you and not want anything to do with him. If you broke up with him, perhaps she feels bad for him.

I get the loyalty thing and she should be loyal to you, however, I see a lot of grey area in these situations.

My bf is still friends with his grown ex step kids. It doesn't bother me at all. He divorced her, not them.

I am still friends with my ex in-laws. Besides just being family, we lived next door to his dad over ten years and I worked with my ex mother in law for 12. We have a 20 year relationship that doesn't go away over night.

I say all this hoping you can give your mom a break. She's probably doing the best she can and is trying to keep the peace.

I do agree that she should have told you she was in contact with him, though. I can understand the sting you felt there.

Posted by truecap
In my opinion, meek and humble as it is, there are several factors to consider.

Were your ex and your mom close when you were with your ex?
If so, is it really fair to them to have to end a friendship just because you and he broke up?

Did yall break up on bad terms?
f he broke up with you, then she should be hurt that he hurt you and not want anything to do with him. If you broke up with him, perhaps she feels bad for him.

I get the loyalty thing and she should be loyal to you, however, I see a lot of grey area in these situations.

My bf is still friends with his grown ex step kids. It doesn't bother me at all. He divorced her, not them.

I am still friends with my ex in-laws. Besides just being family, we lived next door to his dad over ten years and I worked with my ex mother in law for 12. We have a 20 year relationship that doesn't go away over night.

I say all this hoping you can give your mom a break. She's probably doing the best she can and is trying to keep the peace.

To me it's not about their friendship, it's about them going behind his back and being disloyal. She does not have the right to make those decisions all by herself. He has to have certain rights in his own home. Imo.

Posted by SensitiveBlues
god i deal with my psycho mom everyday just fine.


i don't get this mom bashing. you accept people for who they are.

and his mom was just super friendly because she probably has an objective view

anyways of course her kid comes first but its not all black/white

Just because you deal with it doesn't mean it's right.

There has to be a limit to how accepting you should be, imo. If my mother beat me up every day and raped me with a dildo, should I just shrug my shoulders and say, "well, that's just who she is"? Heck, no. Ofc, we all have our limits to what we can accept or not accept, but OP seems to be really unhappy about this(and I would have been too) and should imo not have to put up with it. If you think such things are acceptable to you, feel free to allow it to happen(although I wouldn't encourage you to, since it does seem to bother you), but OP feels betrayed by it (and at least I don't think he's overreacting) which imo does make it not okay.

Posted by busyeyes88
Sorry to say this but have you questioned that they may be having an affair ?

Don't think so, unless the Ex is bi. I was looking at it more from a second son point of view.

This post incensed me, mothers are supposed to have your back. You need to let her know how this affects you for your own sanity.

Posted by truecap
In my opinion, meek and humble as it is, there are several factors to consider.

Were your ex and your mom close when you were with your ex?
If so, is it really fair to them to have to end a friendship just because you and he broke up?

Did yall break up on bad terms?
f he broke up with you, then she should be hurt that he hurt you and not want anything to do with him. If you broke up with him, perhaps she feels bad for him.

I get the loyalty thing and she should be loyal to you, however, I see a lot of grey area in these situations.

My bf is still friends with his grown ex step kids. It doesn't bother me at all. He divorced her, not them.

I am still friends with my ex in-laws. Besides just being family, we lived next door to his dad over ten years and I worked with my ex mother in law for 12. We have a 20 year relationship that doesn't go away over night.

I say all this hoping you can give your mom a break. She's probably doing the best she can and is trying to keep the peace.

The thing is I was more than happy to be broken up with him and still have him in our life but when I broke up with him he turned super nasty on me the kind of nasty where I'm also sensing lots of passive aggressive hostility and he's the type of person who will sabotage you while pretending to be your friend, he won't confront you directly but gets back at.you in other ways, like leaving a voodoo poppet in my room once he left, he told me there was a guy he hated once and he did voodoo on him and his car crashed...Who the Fuck is that stupid to even want to do that to someone?? I don't believe in voodoo or that he has enough magic in his pinkie to cook toast but the thought that he thinks like that gives me the impression that he's a malignant cancer that I need to have cut out of my life....I'm more than happy for mum to be friends with him but she's does this thing where she pits friends against each other and she doesn't even realise she does it, like my little brother and I are super close and she will try and weasel her way in waving money around so she can get attention and make herself more relevant to my brother....actually that's what it boils down to she wants to be relevant

Another thing is she had my ex, his mother and brother and sister over at my house while I was at work.....So they obviously have been talking about the whole break up and stuff and I wasn't there to have my say, I haven't even had closure apart from a heap of abusive messages from him which I showed her, I said if she's going to play the field she may as well know that he's.not all that charming