@Stensco21
12 Years1,000+ Posts
Would you be mad if your bf ignored your family on thanksgiving?
Understanding Relationship Boundaries During Holidays
Ignoring family during important occasions like Thanksgiving can cause hurt feelings and misunderstandings. It is important to communicate expectations and boundaries to ensure both partners feel respected and supported. Addressing these issues early can improve relationship harmony and prevent future conflicts.
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He said because there's nowhere to sit? He hurt my aunts feelings Barely acknowledged them and then said sorry I went broke paying for all their food. I'm so embarrassed.
Posted by Stensco21
So during thanksgiving my whole family was here. My bf barely spoke a word to my family and stayed in the bedroom for four days. Needless to say I was livid and embarrassed. He doesn't see a problem with this.
Mad?
I would redefine the nature of our relationship,
so to speak.
I'm trying to imagine under what circumstances
that would be acceptable.
Illness.
Or if he seriously objected to the visit altogether,
and you did it anyway.
Was it either of those?
He never objected and his behavior through me off guard quite honestly. It was strange. And every time I bring it up he says well I bought and cooked the food. How weird. I would have never treated his family like that in a million years and if I had I wouldn't hear the end of it.
To me it means he isn't invested in me. Like they were like annoying flys to him.
Does he have social anxiety?
Also was this the first time he was meeting your clan?
He's a libra and he's introverted but not from anxiety. I'm starting to notice he's kind of elitist type you're not good enough for me type of attitude. His attitude during thanksgiving was basically my family wasn't worth the bother.
Surprised me because when we first started dating of course he was Prince Charming but I think his mask is slipping a little.
Yes first time to meet them.
Posted by Stensco21
So during thanksgiving my whole family was here. My bf barely spoke a word to my family and stayed in the bedroom for four days. Needless to say I was livid and embarrassed. He doesn't see a problem with this.
was it at your place or his? you said about him buying food for all? could it be he did not feel welcomed by the family? did you try pulling him into conversations or did your family try to engage him in talks? he might have been rude, but maybe he also felt left out?
Yes it was at his house. We tried multiple times and tried the get him to play dominos. He turned his nose up and went to the room and basically had his own little count down until it was over. Everyone could feel it. My aunt drove 12 hours and tried to leave every two times because of it.
Posted by Stensco21
He's a libra and he's introverted but not from anxiety. I'm starting to notice he's kind of elitist type you're not good enough for me type of attitude. His attitude during thanksgiving was basically my family wasn't worth the bother.Surprised me because when we first started dating of course he was Prince Charming but I think his mask is slipping a little.
ok in that case maybe he is not the right guy for you. next time you and your family should be the one avoiding him, like see what his reaction is if you have a family get-together and you don't invite him.
Posted by Stensco21
He's a libra and he's introverted but not from anxiety. I'm starting to notice he's kind of elitist type you're not good enough for me type of attitude. His attitude during thanksgiving was basically my family wasn't worth the bother.Surprised me because when we first started dating of course he was Prince Charming but I think his mask is slipping a little.
ok in that case maybe he is not the right guy for you. next time you and your family should be the one avoiding him, like see what his reaction is if you have a family get-together and you don't invite him.
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I told him on Christmas I'm going to do the same to his family and that I actually didn't even want to see his family because I'm so detached from him now.
Posted by Stensco21
He's a libra and he's introverted but not from anxiety. I'm starting to notice he's kind of elitist type you're not good enough for me type of attitude. His attitude during thanksgiving was basically my family wasn't worth the bother.Surprised me because when we first started dating of course he was Prince Charming but I think his mask is slipping a little.
I am libra and did this as well this thanksgiving, avoiding family.
I don't feel comfortable when I'm forced to be around others' family.
Posted by Stensco21
He's a libra and he's introverted but not from anxiety. I'm starting to notice he's kind of elitist type you're not good enough for me type of attitude. His attitude during thanksgiving was basically my family wasn't worth the bother.Surprised me because when we first started dating of course he was Prince Charming but I think his mask is slipping a little.
I'm getting the vibe that he wants to end the relationship and wants you to do the dirty work so he's acting like an ass so you dump him. Libras tend to avoid confrontation. Has he been an asshole in other ways recently?
Posted by Stensco21
He's a libra and he's introverted but not from anxiety. I'm starting to notice he's kind of elitist type you're not good enough for me type of attitude. His attitude during thanksgiving was basically my family wasn't worth the bother.Surprised me because when we first started dating of course he was Prince Charming but I think his mask is slipping a little.
I'm getting the vibe that he wants to end the relationship and wants you to do the dirty work so he's acting like an ass so you dump him. Libras tend to avoid confrontation. Has he been an asshole in other ways recently?
click to expand
That's what I think too! Which I would be happy to do because I can't stand him!
Posted by Stensco21
He's a libra and he's introverted but not from anxiety. I'm starting to notice he's kind of elitist type you're not good enough for me type of attitude. His attitude during thanksgiving was basically my family wasn't worth the bother.Surprised me because when we first started dating of course he was Prince Charming but I think his mask is slipping a little.
I am libra and did this as well this thanksgiving, avoiding family.
I don't feel comfortable when I'm forced to be around others' family.
click to expand
That's understandable but still rude.
Posted by Stensco21
Yes it was at his house. We tried multiple times and tried the get him to play dominos. He turned his nose up and went to the room and basically had his own little count down until it was over. Everyone could feel it. My aunt drove 12 hours and tried to leave every two times because of it.Why have it at his place if he was gonna be such a bad host? I wouldn't introduce my family to my boyfriend.. unless it's serious and.. I know he actually cares to meet them...
click to expand
We are engaged and lived together! I didn't expect this at all.
Posted by Stensco21
He's a libra and he's introverted but not from anxiety. I'm starting to notice he's kind of elitist type you're not good enough for me type of attitude. His attitude during thanksgiving was basically my family wasn't worth the bother.Surprised me because when we first started dating of course he was Prince Charming but I think his mask is slipping a little.
I am libra and did this as well this thanksgiving, avoiding family.
I don't feel comfortable when I'm forced to be around others' family.
That's understandable but still rude.
click to expand
Saying 'No... I'd rather not do that.' isn't that difficult.
How you going to dump him?
heh
And actually that sounds really draining and boring.
He needs to be reminded that he is part ..of EVERYTHING.
I am as much of an introvert as anyone. I need that. But everyone is my equal. If they are nice people. I will make efforts to connect. And let them in my world a little. So long as they move nothing !
Farrow became so serious about her meditation that she "turned into a near recluse" and "rarely came out" of the cottage she was living in. John Lennon was asked to "contact her and make sure she came out more often to socialize". As a result, Lennon wrote the song "Dear Prudence". In the song Lennon asks Farrow to "open up your eyes" and "see the sunny skies" reminding her that she is "part of everything". The song was said to be "a simple plea to a friend to 'snap out of it'".[4] Lennon said later that "She'd been locked in for three weeks and was trying to reach God quicker than anyone else."
Elitists need to be reminded that they are part of everything as equals. And there is a space for them in the room. Just like everyone. That they need to also welcome everyone into the room.
Exactly. He lives in the middle of nowhere in a house and doesn't have friends. I knew he was introverted and I can be too, but I'm not rude. It's starting to seem like he's alone just because body is good enough for his supreme intellect.
Posted by Stensco21
He's a libra and he's introverted but not from anxiety. I'm starting to notice he's kind of elitist type you're not good enough for me type of attitude. His attitude during thanksgiving was basically my family wasn't worth the bother.Surprised me because when we first started dating of course he was Prince Charming but I think his mask is slipping a little.
I'm getting the vibe that he wants to end the relationship and wants you to do the dirty work so he's acting like an ass so you dump him. Libras tend to avoid confrontation. Has he been an asshole in other ways recently?
That's what I think too! Which I would be happy to do because I can't stand him!
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Sit him down and ask him to give a better reason than "there wasn't a place to sit".
Perhaps he resents having to purchase all the food and was sulking in retaliation...
Perhaps he was anxious and couldn't handle being around that many new people who all know each other...
Perhaps he was missing his own family and had to excuse himself because it was too painful seeing you all interact (what's the story with his family?).
Posted by Stensco21
He's a libra and he's introverted but not from anxiety. I'm starting to notice he's kind of elitist type you're not good enough for me type of attitude. His attitude during thanksgiving was basically my family wasn't worth the bother.Surprised me because when we first started dating of course he was Prince Charming but I think his mask is slipping a little.
Run 100000000000 miles away from him, he will destroy you.
click to expand
A billion times, this. Please please please do yourself a big favour and get rid of him. He's an abuser.
He's saying it's because he had to " go broke" paying for thanksgiving. If that's the case bye bye. That's really selfish. I don't like stingy ppl. I understand he might not have wanted to do it, but he never once mentioned it.
And actually that sounds really draining and boring.
He needs to be reminded that he is part ..of EVERYTHING.
I am as much of an introvert as anyone. I need that. But everyone is my equal. If they are nice people. I will make efforts to connect. And let them in my world a little. So long as they move nothing !
Farrow became so serious about her meditation that she "turned into a near recluse" and "rarely came out" of the cottage she was living in. John Lennon was asked to "contact her and make sure she came out more often to socialize". As a result, Lennon wrote the song "Dear Prudence". In the song Lennon asks Farrow to "open up your eyes" and "see the sunny skies" reminding her that she is "part of everything". The song was said to be "a simple plea to a friend to 'snap out of it'".[4] Lennon said later that "She'd been locked in for three weeks and was trying to reach God quicker than anyone else."
Elitists need to be reminded that they are part of everything as equals. And there is a space for them in the room. Just like everyone. That they need to also welcome everyone into the room.
Exactly. He lives in the middle of nowhere in a house and doesn't have friends. I knew he was introverted and I can be too, but I'm not rude. It's starting to seem like he's alone just because body is good enough for his supreme intellect.
I'm introverted.. Yet that's no excuse...engaged is a serious step.. I personally couldn't see myself with someone who's so disrespectful.. Rude.. Pompous.. And kind of an asshole.
Clearly this is one side of the story but.. Considering all you've said..
Think hard before marrying this guy.
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I am. I'm actually glad I'm seeing this side now. In the beginning I caught glimpses of it but now his real self is flying in the wind because he has all the power now. I live with him.
Posted by Stensco21
He's a libra and he's introverted but not from anxiety. I'm starting to notice he's kind of elitist type you're not good enough for me type of attitude. His attitude during thanksgiving was basically my family wasn't worth the bother.Surprised me because when we first started dating of course he was Prince Charming but I think his mask is slipping a little.
I am libra and did this as well this thanksgiving, avoiding family.
I don't feel comfortable when I'm forced to be around others' family.
That's understandable but still rude.
Saying 'No... I'd rather not do that.' isn't that difficult.
How you going to dump him?
heh
click to expand
Just wondering..did you force him to meet your family? Maybe he wasn't ready.
I don't like holidays and its traditional family gatherings for personal reasons. I talked to my SO about this beforehand and was still forced to attend..I know it's rude, but it's not easy for me.
You already said you can't stand him ...why are you with someone you can't stand?
Posted by Stensco21
He's saying it's because he had to " go broke" paying for thanksgiving. If that's the case bye bye. That's really selfish. I don't like stingy ppl. I understand he might not have wanted to do it, but he never once mentioned it.You are his love of his life, not the dirt off the damn curb.
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I know! That's what I said. He's making me sound like I'm such a burden. It's rude.
Posted by Stensco21
He's a libra and he's introverted but not from anxiety. I'm starting to notice he's kind of elitist type you're not good enough for me type of attitude. His attitude during thanksgiving was basically my family wasn't worth the bother.Surprised me because when we first started dating of course he was Prince Charming but I think his mask is slipping a little.
I am libra and did this as well this thanksgiving, avoiding family.
I don't feel comfortable when I'm forced to be around others' family.
That's understandable but still rude.
Saying 'No... I'd rather not do that.' isn't that difficult.
How you going to dump him?
heh
Just wondering..did you force him to meet your family? Maybe he wasn't ready.
I don't like holidays and its traditional family gatherings for personal reasons. I talked to my SO about this beforehand and was still forced to attend..I know it's rude, but it's not easy for me.
You already said you can't stand him ...why are you with someone you can't stand?
click to expand
I never forced him. I had no idea it was a problem. He did it to control the situation. We have gatherings with his family every month. I can't stand him because he was fake as fuck in the beginning and now his true colors are flying.
He's a Libra, and you're a .... ?
Posted by Stensco21
He's a libra and he's introverted but not from anxiety. I'm starting to notice he's kind of elitist type you're not good enough for me type of attitude. His attitude during thanksgiving was basically my family wasn't worth the bother.Surprised me because when we first started dating of course he was Prince Charming but I think his mask is slipping a little.
I am libra and did this as well this thanksgiving, avoiding family.
I don't feel comfortable when I'm forced to be around others' family.
That's understandable but still rude.
Saying 'No... I'd rather not do that.' isn't that difficult.
How you going to dump him?
heh
Just wondering..did you force him to meet your family? Maybe he wasn't ready.
I don't like holidays and its traditional family gatherings for personal reasons. I talked to my SO about this beforehand and was still forced to attend..I know it's rude, but it's not easy for me.
You already said you can't stand him ...why are you with someone you can't stand?
click to expand
How were you "forced to attend?"
Technically, that's not possible without... you know-- force.
So
Apply this line of questioning to yourself, first.
Posted by Montgomery
He's a Libra, and you're a .... ?
Scorpio
Posted by Stensco21
Yes it was at his house. We tried multiple times and tried the get him to play dominos. He turned his nose up and went to the room and basically had his own little count down until it was over. Everyone could feel it. My aunt drove 12 hours and tried to leave every two times because of it.Why have it at his place if he was gonna be such a bad host? I wouldn't introduce my family to my boyfriend.. unless it's serious and.. I know he actually cares to meet them...
We are engaged and lived together! I didn't expect this at all.
He's checked out
click to expand
What do you mean
Posted by Stensco21
He's a libra and he's introverted but not from anxiety. I'm starting to notice he's kind of elitist type you're not good enough for me type of attitude. His attitude during thanksgiving was basically my family wasn't worth the bother.Surprised me because when we first started dating of course he was Prince Charming but I think his mask is slipping a little.
I am libra and did this as well this thanksgiving, avoiding family.
I don't feel comfortable when I'm forced to be around others' family.
That's understandable but still rude.
Saying 'No... I'd rather not do that.' isn't that difficult.
How you going to dump him?
heh
Just wondering..did you force him to meet your family? Maybe he wasn't ready.
I don't like holidays and its traditional family gatherings for personal reasons. I talked to my SO about this beforehand and was still forced to attend..I know it's rude, but it's not easy for me.
You already said you can't stand him ...why are you with someone you can't stand?
How were you "forced to attend?"
Technically, that's not possible without... you know-- force.
So
Apply this line of questioning to yourself, first.
click to expand
I'm not the one posting threads on DXP asking others if they'd be mad if "my bf ignored my family on thanksgiving" so technically, I don't have to apply any questioning to myself. I was simply sharing my POV with the OP so stfu.
Posted by Stensco21
He's a libra and he's introverted but not from anxiety. I'm starting to notice he's kind of elitist type you're not good enough for me type of attitude. His attitude during thanksgiving was basically my family wasn't worth the bother.Surprised me because when we first started dating of course he was Prince Charming but I think his mask is slipping a little.
I am libra and did this as well this thanksgiving, avoiding family.
I don't feel comfortable when I'm forced to be around others' family.
That's understandable but still rude.
Saying 'No... I'd rather not do that.' isn't that difficult.
How you going to dump him?
heh
Just wondering..did you force him to meet your family? Maybe he wasn't ready.
I don't like holidays and its traditional family gatherings for personal reasons. I talked to my SO about this beforehand and was still forced to attend..I know it's rude, but it's not easy for me.
You already said you can't stand him ...why are you with someone you can't stand?
How were you "forced to attend?"
Technically, that's not possible without... you know-- force.
So
Apply this line of questioning to yourself, first.
I'm not the one posting threads on DXP asking others if they'd be mad if "my bf ignored my family on thanksgiving" so technically, I don't have to apply any questioning to myself. I was simply sharing my POV with the OP so stfu.
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You are literally arguing with yourself.
You'll dump him eventually and he will have brought it all on himself, but it will be all your fault, ive been previously with a Libra 5 years, just like him, had to make excuses whenever family came over, as he would disappear for some reason?
Eventually started putting me down, criticising me, my family, jeez!
He had no job, sat in front of the tv all day wanting his lunch, tea, and sex on tap, after abusive remarks towards me and me stupidly trying to make it work, jeez, stupid things you do when your 24!!
I'm so glad I'm 47 now!
Don't let him move in!! Took me 4 more years to get him to get the hint! Squatters rights were legal then here in the UK, and he loved to remind me ?
Posted by Stensco21
So during thanksgiving my whole family was here. My bf barely spoke a word to my family and stayed in the bedroom for four days. Needless to say I was livid and embarrassed. He doesn't see a problem with this.
Is he 10?
The only way I would ignore the family is if they have issues with me being there but even if that were the case I wouldn't be there in the first place.
Posted by piscespoppy
You'll dump him eventually and he will have brought it all on himself, but it will be all your fault, ive been previously with a Libra 5 years, just like him, had to make excuses whenever family came over, as he would disappear for some reason?Eventually started putting me down, criticising me, my family, jeez!
He had no job, sat in front of the tv all day wanting his lunch, tea, and sex on tap, after abusive remarks towards me and me stupidly trying to make it work, jeez, stupid things you do when your 24!!
I'm so glad I'm 47 now!
Don't let him move in!! Took me 4 more years to get him to get the hint! Squatters rights were legal then here in the UK, and he loved to remind me ?
He's already started to demean me and how I do things. I'm not a good enough cleaner and he makes me do literally everything his way. Even makes me put salt in a salt shaker the way he wants. I don't do anything in front of him because he will tell me it's not the right way.
Posted by Stensco21
So during thanksgiving my whole family was here. My bf barely spoke a word to my family and stayed in the bedroom for four days. Needless to say I was livid and embarrassed. He doesn't see a problem with this.Is he 10?
click to expand
Might as well be
Posted by Stensco21
Yes it was at his house. We tried multiple times and tried the get him to play dominos. He turned his nose up and went to the room and basically had his own little count down until it was over. Everyone could feel it. My aunt drove 12 hours and tried to leave every two times because of it.Why have it at his place if he was gonna be such a bad host? I wouldn't introduce my family to my boyfriend.. unless it's serious and.. I know he actually cares to meet them...
We are engaged and lived together! I didn't expect this at all.
click to expand
Get to know a person before you get engaged and move in together..
Posted by Montgomery
He's a Libra, and you're a .... ?
Scorpio
Posted by Stensco21
Yes it was at his house. We tried multiple times and tried the get him to play dominos. He turned his nose up and went to the room and basically had his own little count down until it was over. Everyone could feel it. My aunt drove 12 hours and tried to leave every two times because of it.Why have it at his place if he was gonna be such a bad host? I wouldn't introduce my family to my boyfriend.. unless it's serious and.. I know he actually cares to meet them...
We are engaged and lived together! I didn't expect this at all.
Get to know a person before you get engaged and move in together..
click to expand
Go sit in your room emo.
Posted by Montgomery
He's a Libra, and you're a .... ?Scorpio
click to expand
Lol why do you tolerate his shit cmon now you could do better.
Yes he is very controlling and doing everything he can to put me in my place. He is the typical know it all air sign who doesn't know anything.
No he was judging my family. They were excited to meet him.
Posted by Stensco21
Yes he is very controlling and doing everything he can to put me in my place. He is the typical know it all air sign who doesn't know anything.How long have you been together?
How was he with your family before?
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A year. He was fine and friendly and charming.
Posted by Stensco21
Yes it was at his house. We tried multiple times and tried the get him to play dominos. He turned his nose up and went to the room and basically had his own little count down until it was over. Everyone could feel it. My aunt drove 12 hours and tried to leave every two times because of it.Why have it at his place if he was gonna be such a bad host? I wouldn't introduce my family to my boyfriend.. unless it's serious and.. I know he actually cares to meet them...
We are engaged and lived together! I didn't expect this at all.
Get to know a person before you get engaged and move in together..
Go sit in your room emo.
click to expand
Um..ok..? If i was your boyfriend I'm sure I would too. No wonder he ignored you and your fam 🙂
Posted by Stensco21
He's a libra and he's introverted but not from anxiety. I'm starting to notice he's kind of elitist type you're not good enough for me type of attitude. His attitude during thanksgiving was basically my family wasn't worth the bother.Surprised me because when we first started dating of course he was Prince Charming but I think his mask is slipping a little.
I am libra and did this as well this thanksgiving, avoiding family.
I don't feel comfortable when I'm forced to be around others' family.
That's understandable but still rude.
Saying 'No... I'd rather not do that.' isn't that difficult.
How you going to dump him?
heh
Just wondering..did you force him to meet your family? Maybe he wasn't ready.
I don't like holidays and its traditional family gatherings for personal reasons. I talked to my SO about this beforehand and was still forced to attend..I know it's rude, but it's not easy for me.
You already said you can't stand him ...why are you with someone you can't stand?
How were you "forced to attend?"
Technically, that's not possible without... you know-- force.
So
Apply this line of questioning to yourself, first.
I'm not the one posting threads on DXP asking others if they'd be mad if "my bf ignored my family on thanksgiving" so technically, I don't have to apply any questioning to myself. I was simply sharing my POV with the OP so stfu.
click to expand
And I'm simply pointing out the hypocrisy
in your POV.
Looks like it struck a nerve.
🙂
Posted by Stensco21
Yes it was at his house. We tried multiple times and tried the get him to play dominos. He turned his nose up and went to the room and basically had his own little count down until it was over. Everyone could feel it. My aunt drove 12 hours and tried to leave every two times because of it.Why have it at his place if he was gonna be such a bad host? I wouldn't introduce my family to my boyfriend.. unless it's serious and.. I know he actually cares to meet them...
We are engaged and lived together! I didn't expect this at all.
Get to know a person before you get engaged and move in together..
Go sit in your room emo.
Um..ok..? If i was your boyfriend I'm sure I would too. No wonder he ignored you and your fam 🙂
click to expand
You're like 13 aren't you?
Posted by Stensco21
He's a libra and he's introverted but not from anxiety. I'm starting to notice he's kind of elitist type you're not good enough for me type of attitude. His attitude during thanksgiving was basically my family wasn't worth the bother.Surprised me because when we first started dating of course he was Prince Charming but I think his mask is slipping a little.
I am libra and did this as well this thanksgiving, avoiding family.
I don't feel comfortable when I'm forced to be around others' family.
That's understandable but still rude.
Saying 'No... I'd rather not do that.' isn't that difficult.
How you going to dump him?
heh
Just wondering..did you force him to meet your family? Maybe he wasn't ready.
I don't like holidays and its traditional family gatherings for personal reasons. I talked to my SO about this beforehand and was still forced to attend..I know it's rude, but it's not easy for me.
You already said you can't stand him ...why are you with someone you can't stand?
How were you "forced to attend?"
Technically, that's not possible without... you know-- force.
So
Apply this line of questioning to yourself, first.
I'm not the one posting threads on DXP asking others if they'd be mad if "my bf ignored my family on thanksgiving" so technically, I don't have to apply any questioning to myself. I was simply sharing my POV with the OP so stfu.
And I'm simply pointing out the hypocrisy
in your POV.
Looks like it struck a nerve.
🙂
click to expand
It did. I've been in the position opposite of the OP. Why is that hypocrisy?
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So during thanksgiving my whole family was here. My bf barely spoke a word to my family and stayed in the bedroom for four days. Needless to say I was livid and embarrassed. He doesn't see a problem with this.