@libster
10 YearsLibra
Would you be mad if your bf ignored your family on thanksgiving? (Page 2)
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I'm not sure why so many people are calling out abuse.
Was he inconsiderate with you and your family, yes. Did he act like a spoiled child, sure. But it's not liked he beat the op, verbally assaulted her etc. If something so small can't be discussed and resolved then how is your marriage going to go the distance when you encounter REAL problems?
Posted by LadyNeptune
I'm not sure why so many people are calling out abuse.Was he inconsiderate with you and your family, yes. Did he act like a spoiled child, sure. But it's not liked he beat the op, verbally assaulted her etc. If something so small can't be discussed and resolved then how is your marriage going to go the distance when you encounter REAL problems?
Patterns.
Once you live your entire childhood seeing it you know how it starts.
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Your letting your own experiences taint your perspective.
We are only getting one side of the story. If we talked to the op's boyfriend what would he say? Maybe he felt snubbed and outed. Maybe he has severe anxiety meeting her family and she didn't listen when he tried to express this. Maybe he felt like a stranger in his own home.
Posted by LadyNeptune
I'm not sure why so many people are calling out abuse.Was he inconsiderate with you and your family, yes. Did he act like a spoiled child, sure. But it's not liked he beat the op, verbally assaulted her etc. If something so small can't be discussed and resolved then how is your marriage going to go the distance when you encounter REAL problems?
He belittles her on an ongoing basis aside from this instance.
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Wow this thread is already 7 pages. Lemme catch up real quick...
Posted by Stensco21
Yes he is very controlling and doing everything he can to put me in my place. He is the typical know it all air sign who doesn't know anything.How long have you been together?
How was he with your family before?
A year. He was fine and friendly and charming.
I thought you said this was the first time he was meeting them?
Posted by Stensco21
Yes first time to meet them.click to expand
Ok op, after reading it all I have more questions.
You say you've been with him for a year. How long after dating did you move in? Get engaged?
When you say he's critical of how you clean, is he very ocd? I can understand him wanting you to do things in a certain way. After all it's his home your now sharing and the nature of ocd is that he does things the way he does them to feel in control. It's not because he's criticizing you, it's because he feels compelled to maintain his routine.
Do you have a wedding date set? If so when? If not, why?
I think you would benefit from some counseling if you want to move forward with him as your life partner. At the very least you guys can't communicate well with each other.
Maybe he was shy and was afraid they wouldn't like him. People think I'm rude when really Im just scared of saying the wrong thing.. especially to people who you know you need to impress. Pressure
Posted by Stensco21
He said because there's nowhere to sit? He hurt my aunts feelings Barely acknowledged them and then said sorry I went broke paying for all their food. I'm so embarrassed.
Fuck that guy. Find someone who wants to do similar traditional things as you do. And if you don't fuck em. Do you own thing.
But you know if it's family though it is important that you all get along with them. Cause if you don't get along later you will be separately spend time with family and then meet back home.
Rude
The mask often slips then comes off, love
🙂
Posted by Stinger408scorp
The only way I would ignore the family is if they have issues with me being there but even if that were the case I wouldn't be there in the first place.
Perhaps, there are issues with him and your family that he isn't telling you because he doesnt' want to hurt your feelings.
maybe he didn't want to have them over to his house, but, you obviously insisted, since you seem so self absorbed with how you feel, and what you want.
You said on the first page that he probably didn't want to pay for everything .. so that means you obligated him to pay for you, and your family's meal .. when he didn't want them to come over.
How rude can you possible be to him?
I feel sorry for him, you are taking advantage of him and coming here to twist it around and make it sound like it's his bad.
If you are engaged with him and living with him, then you must have done so just after he said hello to you, since you obviously know nothing about his traits, characteristics, standards, views, etc ... since you are just now finding out you can't stand him.
Since you're a Scorpio, there's no doubt in my mind that you know you are equally at fault, and just twisting it around in here to justify your poor actions and judgment ... because that's what Scorpios do once the Stinger comes out ... they just strike and destroy, and have no cares about contradicting themselves. The stinger should be renamed The Fool.
An understanding and caring partner would be concerned about what is the matter with him ... instead of what you're doing, which is betraying him.
Get to know a person before you get engaged and move in together..
Go sit in your room emo.
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Here's an example of how poor of a person you actually are.
This is very good advice to you .... but, your response was very ignorant to him, and you attempt to make him look bad for giving you good advice.
This means you just want to be validated for your mistake, instead of actually accepting that you fucked up.
Posted by Stensco21
No he was judging my family. They were excited to meet him.
When in reality, he sat in his room for 4 days while they were there, according to what you already said.
Unless you're changing your story now.
If they never met him, then you got engaged to a person you never even cared enough about to introduce to your family?
And why were they there for 4 days?
You couldn't give a rats ass about him, while they were there ... and you obviously don't care now with all the bad shit you're saying him.
Obviously, you're either lying, or you're so lacking in sound judgment that you jumped on the first man who said hello ... because you obviously don't care about him, nor have you bothered to get to know him.
YET ..... you expected him to pay for all this shit, and then turn around and say you don't like stingy people. You make him pay for something he doesnt' want and then call him names.
I can't get over how cold people are in here, and they call this man terrible things.
He is not here to speak for himself, and the only information you have is based off of a women who is so jaded from butthurt that she has nothing but horrible things to say about his character, while claiming to be engaged to him.
Logic should dictate that her story of events is greatly embellished ... but, people say shit behind his back anyway as if it's true of his character.
when what is really the issue here, isn't what he's done or not done, because you don't know what he's done, or his reasons ... what you do know is that she didn't bother to find out what is wrong with him, she just pointed fingers at him and said she can't stand him, that's he's a bad person.
He could very well have something really wrong here ..... but, she doesn't notice, because she didn't care to. she just barks and bitches and carries on that he isn't owning up to her expectations of how he is to perform.
The young people today are so backwards ..... they have no clue what consideration and understanding is.
Posted by Stensco21
To me it means he isn't invested in me. Like they were like annoying flys to him.
He's definitely not invested. I don't care if he threw together foi gras and a 5 tiered cake in the shape of a cornucopia. The history of the holiday is bad but the main point is fellowship and appreciation. The meal is not the focal point it's the company. Is he like this with his family?
Posted by Stinger408scorp
The only way I would ignore the family is if they have issues with me being there but even if that were the case I wouldn't be there in the first place.Perhaps, there are issues with him and your family that he isn't telling you because he doesnt' want to hurt your feelings.
maybe he didn't want to have them over to his house, but, you obviously insisted, since you seem so self absorbed with how you feel, and what you want.
You said on the first page that he probably didn't want to pay for everything .. so that means you obligated him to pay for you, and your family's meal .. when he didn't want them to come over.
How rude can you possible be to him?
I feel sorry for him, you are taking advantage of him and coming here to twist it around and make it sound like it's his bad.
If you are engaged with him and living with him, then you must have done so just after he said hello to you, since you obviously know nothing about his traits, characteristics, standards, views, etc ... since you are just now finding out you can't stand him.
Since you're a Scorpio, there's no doubt in my mind that you know you are equally at fault, and just twisting it around in here to justify your poor actions and judgment ... because that's what Scorpios do once the Stinger comes out ... they just strike and destroy, and have no cares about contradicting themselves. The stinger should be renamed The Fool.
An understanding and caring partner would be concerned about what is the matter with him ... instead of what you're doing, which is betraying him.
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Lol wrong person I was just saying what I would do if I were in that situation ?
Posted by Stinger408scorp
The only way I would ignore the family is if they have issues with me being there but even if that were the case I wouldn't be there in the first place.Perhaps, there are issues with him and your family that he isn't telling you because he doesnt' want to hurt your feelings.
maybe he didn't want to have them over to his house, but, you obviously insisted, since you seem so self absorbed with how you feel, and what you want.
You said on the first page that he probably didn't want to pay for everything .. so that means you obligated him to pay for you, and your family's meal .. when he didn't want them to come over.
How rude can you possible be to him?
I feel sorry for him, you are taking advantage of him and coming here to twist it around and make it sound like it's his bad.
If you are engaged with him and living with him, then you must have done so just after he said hello to you, since you obviously know nothing about his traits, characteristics, standards, views, etc ... since you are just now finding out you can't stand him.
Since you're a Scorpio, there's no doubt in my mind that you know you are equally at fault, and just twisting it around in here to justify your poor actions and judgment ... because that's what Scorpios do once the Stinger comes out ... they just strike and destroy, and have no cares about contradicting themselves. The stinger should be renamed The Fool.
An understanding and caring partner would be concerned about what is the matter with him ... instead of what you're doing, which is betraying him.
Lol wrong person I was just saying what I would do if I were in that situation ?
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Sorry, my bad .... I was meaning to talk to the creator of the thread. I rescind all I said to you above.
Posted by Stinger408scorp
The only way I would ignore the family is if they have issues with me being there but even if that were the case I wouldn't be there in the first place.—no harm done good advise tho ?
Perhaps, there are issues with him and your family that he isn't telling you because he doesnt' want to hurt your feelings.
maybe he didn't want to have them over to his house, but, you obviously insisted, since you seem so self absorbed with how you feel, and what you want.
You said on the first page that he probably didn't want to pay for everything .. so that means you obligated him to pay for you, and your family's meal .. when he didn't want them to come over.
How rude can you possible be to him?
I feel sorry for him, you are taking advantage of him and coming here to twist it around and make it sound like it's his bad.
If you are engaged with him and living with him, then you must have done so just after he said hello to you, since you obviously know nothing about his traits, characteristics, standards, views, etc ... since you are just now finding out you can't stand him.
Since you're a Scorpio, there's no doubt in my mind that you know you are equally at fault, and just twisting it around in here to justify your poor actions and judgment ... because that's what Scorpios do once the Stinger comes out ... they just strike and destroy, and have no cares about contradicting themselves. The stinger should be renamed The Fool.
An understanding and caring partner would be concerned about what is the matter with him ... instead of what you're doing, which is betraying him.
Lol wrong person I was just saying what I would do if I were in that situation ?
Sorry, my bad .... I was meaning to talk to the creator of the thread. I rescind all I said to you above.
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Stinger don't project your Scorpio side on me. Seems like you play the game just as you say I do.
Posted by Stensco21
To me it means he isn't invested in me. Like they were like annoying flys to him.He's definitely not invested. I don't care if he threw together foi gras and a 5 tiered cake in the shape of a cornucopia. The history of the holiday is bad but the main point is fellowship and appreciation. The meal is not the focal point it's the company. Is he like this with his family?
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No he bends over backward to his family
Posted by P-Angel
I can't get over how cold people are in here, and they call this man terrible things.He is not here to speak for himself, and the only information you have is based off of a women who is so jaded from butthurt that she has nothing but horrible things to say about his character, while claiming to be engaged to him.
Logic should dictate that her story of events is greatly embellished ... but, people say shit behind his back anyway as if it's true of his character.
when what is really the issue here, isn't what he's done or not done, because you don't know what he's done, or his reasons ... what you do know is that she didn't bother to find out what is wrong with him, she just pointed fingers at him and said she can't stand him, that's he's a bad person.
He could very well have something really wrong here ..... but, she doesn't notice, because she didn't care to. she just barks and bitches and carries on that he isn't owning up to her expectations of how he is to perform.
The young people today are so backwards ..... they have no clue what consideration and understanding is.
This is what I picked up on here as well. She paints him in a very negative light and is only interested in hearing confirmation that her negative feelings are justified.
I asked for more background information to understand what the vibe is in the home and to understand some of her blanketed statements. 'He doesn't like how I clean ergo he doesn't care about me and our relationship'. What?
His contributions get no acknowledgment only his shortcomings are focused on.
Betraying him would be saying this to our close inner circle which I haven't done. You guys are strangers who I'm trying to vent to and not let my frustration go into the situation. I'm not "cold" or a selfish young twat whose trying to twist the situation. I said thanks for the meal he provided and then he went on to passive aggressively throw it in my face for the last week that he boUgh the food anytime I mentioned I was frustrated w his behavior. He literally bought a turkey and green beans corn and mashed potatoes. He's not poor. Trust me. The story isn't embellished or flipped to show my side.
He doesn't like how anyone does anything no matter how it's done if he didn't stand over you and watch you do it. I'm not stupid or lazy by any means and actually clean better than him. His house was filthy when I moved in. Three inches of dust and dirt from four years of not cleaning his house. He's using things as an excuse to belittle me. He cleans the house by moping the floor first before he does anything. Lol he doesn't know how to clean.
He said his dad used to do the same thing to him growing up. Who he accuses of abuse any chance he gets. He has abusive tendencies.
Posted by Stensco21
No he bends over backward to his family
And apparently to you as well as he purchased and prepared food for your family like you insisted, in spite of how he expressed it was a financial toll.
Not to mention he supports you financially, provides a roof over your head. How do you contribute to the household?
Posted by Stensco21
No he bends over backward to his familyAnd apparently to you as well as he purchased and prepared food for your family like you insisted, in spite of how he expressed it was a financial toll.
Not to mention he supports you financially, provides a roof over your head. How do you contribute to the household?
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He never said he was financially strapped because he's not. I pay half of everything. And never wanted to put him out any. His attitude completely changed when my family came. Rcsuse it wasn't about him. He doesn't support me financially? I would never allow that
Lady Neptune sounds constipated. Go take a shit.
Posted by Stensco21
No he bends over backward to his familyAnd apparently to you as well as he purchased and prepared food for your family like you insisted, in spite of how he expressed it was a financial toll.
Not to mention he supports you financially, provides a roof over your head. How do you contribute to the household?
He never said he was financially strapped because he's not. I pay half of everything. And never wanted to put him out any. His attitude completely changed when my family came. Rcsuse it wasn't about him. He doesn't support me financially? I would never allow that
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Didn't you say your not working and moved into his place?
How do you have the means to cover half the bills if that's the case?
Posted by Stensco21
Lady Neptune sounds constipated. Go take a shit.
My bowels are quite regular. Thanks for your concern.
Posted by Stensco21
Lady Neptune sounds constipated. Go take a shit.My bowels are quite regular. Thanks for your concern.
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You sound pretty disgruntled. It might be irritable bowel. Got pretty riled up over a petty message board.
Posted by Stensco21
No he bends over backward to his familyAnd apparently to you as well as he purchased and prepared food for your family like you insisted, in spite of how he expressed it was a financial toll.
Not to mention he supports you financially, provides a roof over your head. How do you contribute to the household?
He never said he was financially strapped because he's not. I pay half of everything. And never wanted to put him out any. His attitude completely changed when my family came. Rcsuse it wasn't about him. He doesn't support me financially? I would never allow that
Didn't you say your not working and moved into his place?
How do you have the means to cover half the bills if that's the case?
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I am a real estate agent with savings from my houses I sell. We are not poor by any means. Maybe that's your situation. But I'm not a poor person thanks.
Posted by Stensco21
Lady Neptune sounds constipated. Go take a shit.My bowels are quite regular. Thanks for your concern.
You sound pretty disgruntled. It might be irritable bowel. Got pretty riled up over a petty message board.
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If that makes you feel better about your home life then sure, I'm super riled. Turnt.
You sure have a lot of time to invest in a strangers life because you don't have one. Miss lady Neptune. Queen of the chat room lmao
Posted by Stensco21
No he bends over backward to his familyAnd apparently to you as well as he purchased and prepared food for your family like you insisted, in spite of how he expressed it was a financial toll.
Not to mention he supports you financially, provides a roof over your head. How do you contribute to the household?
He never said he was financially strapped because he's not. I pay half of everything. And never wanted to put him out any. His attitude completely changed when my family came. Rcsuse it wasn't about him. He doesn't support me financially? I would never allow that
Didn't you say your not working and moved into his place?
How do you have the means to cover half the bills if that's the case?
I am a real estate agent with savings from my houses I sell. We are not poor by any means. Maybe that's your situation. But I'm not a poor person thanks.
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Your depleting your savings with no inflow of income. If you continue on in this manner eventually you'll become one of those poor people you so dispise.
Posted by Stensco21
You sure have a lot of time to invest in a strangers life because you don't have one. Miss lady Neptune. Queen of the chat room lmao
That's such a weak insult as you are also here, contributing to this thread.
You can do better. Talk about my bodily functions again.
Posted by Stensco21
No he bends over backward to his familyAnd apparently to you as well as he purchased and prepared food for your family like you insisted, in spite of how he expressed it was a financial toll.
Not to mention he supports you financially, provides a roof over your head. How do you contribute to the household?
He never said he was financially strapped because he's not. I pay half of everything. And never wanted to put him out any. His attitude completely changed when my family came. Rcsuse it wasn't about him. He doesn't support me financially? I would never allow that
Didn't you say your not working and moved into his place?
How do you have the means to cover half the bills if that's the case?
I am a real estate agent with savings from my houses I sell. We are not poor by any means. Maybe that's your situation. But I'm not a poor person thanks.
Your depleting your savings with no inflow of income. If you continue on in this manner eventually you'll become one of those poor people you so dispise.
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Right because right now I'm working on my brokers license. So yea sure after I'm done I will be even poorer! Wah. And trust me my savings isn't petty cash. The issue isn't money. It's control.
Posted by Stensco21
You sure have a lot of time to invest in a strangers life because you don't have one. Miss lady Neptune. Queen of the chat room lmaoThat's such a weak insult as you are also here, contributing to this thread.
You can do better. Talk about my bodily functions again.
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good one lady Neptune you sound like someone who sits around and thinks Harry Potter is real. Go hit someone with your Star Wars light saber.
Rule of thumb: a person's effort is a reflection of their interest in you.
No effort = no interest.
Posted by Stensco21
You sure have a lot of time to invest in a strangers life because you don't have one. Miss lady Neptune. Queen of the chat room lmaoThat's such a weak insult as you are also here, contributing to this thread.
You can do better. Talk about my bodily functions again.
good one lady Neptune you sound like someone who sits around and thinks Harry Potter is real. Go hit someone with your Star Wars light saber.
I mean no disrespect to you or anyone else here, but you made a thread asking for advice, you got that.
Not everyone thinks the same, and that is the beauty of human nature, welcome to DXP hun, where your drama is our drama.
Don't like it? don't make a thread asking for help.
Don't want drama? don't be the cause.
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A natural human response to someone attacking you is to take up for yourself. I'm not a passive person. As you can see I didn't start " drama". In any chat group there's always trolls who try to argue instead of giving advice because you guys can't do it in your real life. You use this as your outlet for anger and courage. You guys are the biggest pussys in real life.
Posted by Stensco21
You sure have a lot of time to invest in a strangers life because you don't have one. Miss lady Neptune. Queen of the chat room lmaoThat's such a weak insult as you are also here, contributing to this thread.
You can do better. Talk about my bodily functions again.
good one lady Neptune you sound like someone who sits around and thinks Harry Potter is real. Go hit someone with your Star Wars light saber.
I mean no disrespect to you or anyone else here, but you made a thread asking for advice, you got that.
Not everyone thinks the same, and that is the beauty of human nature, welcome to DXP hun, where your drama is our drama.
Don't like it? don't make a thread asking for help.
Don't want drama? don't be the cause.
A natural human response to someone attacking you is to take up for yourself. I'm not a passive person. As you can see I didn't start " drama". In any chat group there's always trolls who try to argue instead of giving advice because you guys can't do it in your real life. You use this as your outlet for anger and courage. You guys are the biggest pussys in real life.
Please stop projecting.
It's an internet forum, we are all passive as we are not there in full form, think logically about this.
You are also throwing remarks at everyone including me who has not insulted you one bit and stayed on topic throughout.
There are many good people around here who would do anything to help you, don't make enemies with people you can't handle, that's me included lady.
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Also you must have read my projecting post to stinger. Way to flip it around.
Posted by Stensco21
No he bends over backward to his familyAnd apparently to you as well as he purchased and prepared food for your family like you insisted, in spite of how he expressed it was a financial toll.
Not to mention he supports you financially, provides a roof over your head. How do you contribute to the household?
He never said he was financially strapped because he's not. I pay half of everything. And never wanted to put him out any. His attitude completely changed when my family came. Rcsuse it wasn't about him. He doesn't support me financially? I would never allow that
Didn't you say your not working and moved into his place?
How do you have the means to cover half the bills if that's the case?
I am a real estate agent with savings from my houses I sell. We are not poor by any means. Maybe that's your situation. But I'm not a poor person thanks.
Your depleting your savings with no inflow of income. If you continue on in this manner eventually you'll become one of those poor people you so dispise.
Right because right now I'm working on my brokers license. So yea sure after I'm done I will be even poorer! Wah. And trust me my savings isn't petty cash. The issue isn't money. It's control.
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So if you have it all figured out what do you need our opinion for? Why come to DXP?
Posted by Stensco21
No he bends over backward to his familyAnd apparently to you as well as he purchased and prepared food for your family like you insisted, in spite of how he expressed it was a financial toll.
Not to mention he supports you financially, provides a roof over your head. How do you contribute to the household?
He never said he was financially strapped because he's not. I pay half of everything. And never wanted to put him out any. His attitude completely changed when my family came. Rcsuse it wasn't about him. He doesn't support me financially? I would never allow that
Didn't you say your not working and moved into his place?
How do you have the means to cover half the bills if that's the case?
I am a real estate agent with savings from my houses I sell. We are not poor by any means. Maybe that's your situation. But I'm not a poor person thanks.
Your depleting your savings with no inflow of income. If you continue on in this manner eventually you'll become one of those poor people you so dispise.
Right because right now I'm working on my brokers license. So yea sure after I'm done I will be even poorer! Wah. And trust me my savings isn't petty cash. The issue isn't money. It's control.
So if you have it all figured out what do you need our opinion for? Why come to DXP?
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Lady Neptune you need to get off the keyboard to stretch or take a walk and calm down.
Posted by Arielle83
Forced because you're doing it for your SO.To make them happy.
Or ppl giving u ultimatums, guilt, bartering.
Yeah, I get that... manipulated may be the more
accurate word.
And the unhappy reaction to that is passive
aggression-- which is still agression.
Both parties are at fault.
The stakes are higher in a marriage of course,
but if this is the dynamic and you're only dating?
It might be a good idea (at least imo) to ask
yourself if this is the kind of relationship you
want.
If you're being disrespected, and you can't seem
to stop it... the potential for resentment is high.
That will eat you alive.
Again only my opinion.
Posted by Stensco21
No he bends over backward to his familyAnd apparently to you as well as he purchased and prepared food for your family like you insisted, in spite of how he expressed it was a financial toll.
Not to mention he supports you financially, provides a roof over your head. How do you contribute to the household?
He never said he was financially strapped because he's not. I pay half of everything. And never wanted to put him out any. His attitude completely changed when my family came. Rcsuse it wasn't about him. He doesn't support me financially? I would never allow that
Didn't you say your not working and moved into his place?
How do you have the means to cover half the bills if that's the case?
I am a real estate agent with savings from my houses I sell. We are not poor by any means. Maybe that's your situation. But I'm not a poor person thanks.
Your depleting your savings with no inflow of income. If you continue on in this manner eventually you'll become one of those poor people you so dispise.
Right because right now I'm working on my brokers license. So yea sure after I'm done I will be even poorer! Wah. And trust me my savings isn't petty cash. The issue isn't money. It's control.
So if you have it all figured out what do you need our opinion for? Why come to DXP?
Lady Neptune you need to get off the keyboard to stretch or take a walk and calm down.
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I'm on my phone walking my dog to the farmers market. Try again.
Posted by Stensco21
You sure have a lot of time to invest in a strangers life because you don't have one. Miss lady Neptune. Queen of the chat room lmaoThat's such a weak insult as you are also here, contributing to this thread.
You can do better. Talk about my bodily functions again.
good one lady Neptune you sound like someone who sits around and thinks Harry Potter is real. Go hit someone with your Star Wars light saber.
I mean no disrespect to you or anyone else here, but you made a thread asking for advice, you got that.
Not everyone thinks the same, and that is the beauty of human nature, welcome to DXP hun, where your drama is our drama.
Don't like it? don't make a thread asking for help.
Don't want drama? don't be the cause.
A natural human response to someone attacking you is to take up for yourself. I'm not a passive person. As you can see I didn't start " drama". In any chat group there's always trolls who try to argue instead of giving advice because you guys can't do it in your real life. You use this as your outlet for anger and courage. You guys are the biggest pussys in real life.
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The fact that you saw my opinion and advice as an 'attack' says much more about your situation then you have shared here so far.
nothing would be worse than disrespecting my family. it's actually worse than disrespecting me (which i don't tolerate)
i'd end the relationship and move out immediately
when the relationship is new, i made a point to sit down with him before meeting the family to make sure he understood how important it is to me for him to make my family feel comfortable. i made sure he knew that this is no joke to me.
i recall that after i and my libra ex broke up, he promised to do something with me with my parents and he failed to deliver. i took it as a disrespect to my parents, saw red and really tore him down emotionally. he had never seen that side of me and emotionally broke down. i later heard that he couldn't leave his place and couldn't function for a few days. his then gf broke up with him bc she couldn't believe the emotional impact i had on him. i felt really bad about it tbh that i of course knew he didn't have the obligation given that we broke up already but when it involves my parents, my rational mind takes a backseat. the devil comes out
Posted by Arielle83
Forced because you're doing it for your SO.To make them happy.
Or ppl giving u ultimatums, guilt, bartering.
Yeah, I get that... manipulated may be the more
accurate word.
And the unhappy reaction to that is passive
aggression-- which is still agression.
Both parties are at fault.
The stakes are higher in a marriage of course,
but if this is the dynamic and you're only dating?
It might be a good idea (at least imo) to ask
yourself if this is the kind of relationship you
want.
If you're being disrespected, and you can't seem
to stop it... the potential for resentment is high.
That will eat you alive.
Again only my opinion.
click to expand
I agree whole heartedly. Becoming a wife and husband isn't going to magically solve the issues they have a boyfriend and girlfriend.
Before moving further or backwards (as many people are advising her to dump him) I think it would be benificial to explore counseling. I advised the op to do so earlier. There are pre-marriage counseling they can do which focuses on communication.
Because right now they are locked in an eternal struggle of pettily fighting over who is right or wrong. Trying to control the situation instead of finding a compromise they can all live with.
The issue with his behavior during thanksgiving is just a symptom of the underlying problem/s between them.
Posted by iCloud9
nothing would be worse than disrespecting my family. it's actually worse than disrespecting me (which i don't tolerate)i'd end the relationship and move out immediately
Exactly my point.
when the relationship is new, i made a point to sit down with him before meeting the family to make sure he understood how important it is to me for him to make my family feel comfortable. i made sure he knew that this is no joke to me.
i recall that after i and my libra ex broke up, he promised to do something with me with my parents and he failed to deliver. i took it as a disrespect to my parents, saw red and really tore him down emotionally. he had never seen that side of me and emotionally broke down. i later heard that he couldn't leave his place and couldn't function for a few days. his then gf broke up with him bc she couldn't believe the emotional impact i had on him. i felt really bad about it tbh that i of course knew he didn't have the obligation given that we broke up already but when it involves my parents, my rational mind takes a backseat. the devil comes out
Posted by Stensco21
You sure have a lot of time to invest in a strangers life because you don't have one. Miss lady Neptune. Queen of the chat room lmaoThat's such a weak insult as you are also here, contributing to this thread.
You can do better. Talk about my bodily functions again.
good one lady Neptune you sound like someone who sits around and thinks Harry Potter is real. Go hit someone with your Star Wars light saber.
I mean no disrespect to you or anyone else here, but you made a thread asking for advice, you got that.
Not everyone thinks the same, and that is the beauty of human nature, welcome to DXP hun, where your drama is our drama.
Don't like it? don't make a thread asking for help.
Don't want drama? don't be the cause.
A natural human response to someone attacking you is to take up for yourself. I'm not a passive person. As you can see I didn't start " drama". In any chat group there's always trolls who try to argue instead of giving advice because you guys can't do it in your real life. You use this as your outlet for anger and courage. You guys are the biggest pussys in real life.
The fact that you saw my opinion and advice as an 'attack' says much more about your situation then you have shared here so far.
click to expand
Idk where all the negative vibes are coming from. Stay in a different lane than me if I'm bothering you so much miss Neptune.
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