xtra1990
@xtra1990
8 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 67 · Topics: 6
"Having doubts about our dynamic"...wth...
You hurt his pride and ego. He opened up to you, was vulnerable and you said 'meh'.
It's OK if you are not interested but you can't expect someone with an ounce of decency to be happy playing luke warm with you.
He wanted long term and exclusivity, you were thinking fuck buddy.
He was the one who was certain about you, you were the one having doubts about him.
He was the one offering to comfort you and reassure you, do whatever you wanted to make you feel good about yourself, you shot him and his efforts down.
What's he supposed to do? Wait until you friendzone him?
I think the dynamics were off. Not your fault - he moved too quick and you weren't ready yet.
It's OK if you are not interested but you can't expect someone with an ounce of decency to be happy playing luke warm with you.
He wanted long term and exclusivity, you were thinking fuck buddy.
He was the one who was certain about you, you were the one having doubts about him.
He was the one offering to comfort you and reassure you, do whatever you wanted to make you feel good about yourself, you shot him and his efforts down.
What's he supposed to do? Wait until you friendzone him?
I think the dynamics were off. Not your fault - he moved too quick and you weren't ready yet.
Your fault.
Game playing-- he was playing it straight.
You can't hide the cards after you've shown
them.
-----------
This is one of those threads where I wonder...
is this real, or is it just to keep the forum
moving along. :/
All that detailed info but no insight.
Game playing-- he was playing it straight.
You can't hide the cards after you've shown
them.
-----------
This is one of those threads where I wonder...
is this real, or is it just to keep the forum
moving along. :/
All that detailed info but no insight.
Posted by jeaneOh :/ I thought he was just after sex. Especially since he put the blame on me.
You hurt his pride and ego. He opened up to you, was vulnerable and you said 'meh'.
It's OK if you are not interested but you can't expect someone with an ounce of decency to be happy playing luke warm with you.
He wanted long term and exclusivity, you were thinking fuck buddy.
He was the one who was certain about you, you were the one having doubts about him.
He was the one offering to comfort you and reassure you, do whatever you wanted to make you feel good about yourself, you shot him and his efforts down.
What's he supposed to do? Wait until you friendzone him?
I think the dynamics were off. Not your fault - he moved too quick and you weren't ready yet.
Here's the thing I really do like him. We've only known each other for a month and since it's so early I just wasn't sure what I wanted. I can see things getting serious with him because we have a lot of chemistry. I'm just not emotionally ready hence me wanting to take it slow. He mentioned how it seemed like I was very guarded-which I am. I just didn't want to rush things is all.
Why do you keep spending time at a man's house and kissing if you do not want to have sex with him? To give him blue balls...? There is a name for those like you....Prick-teaser!
Posted by MontgomeryHow was I playing games? I can't help that he's ahead of me and that I wanted to take things slow. I didn't know he wanted to get serious until the night I said I wanted to go slow.
Your fault.
Game playing-- he was playing it straight.
You can't hide the cards after you've shown
them.
-----------
This is one of those threads where I wonder...
is this real, or is it just to keep the forum
moving along. :/
All that detailed info but no insight.
Posted by aquarius_beautyI told him I didn't know what I wanted before he said all those things to me. How did I hurt him? By being honest and not wanting to rush the whole sex thing? When he said you don't want to be made a fool of he was right. I like him I just want to go slow that's it. I don't see that being wrong. I didn't say I wanted to stop seeing him-just go slow since we have only known each other for a month.
Ok now that I read the whole thing I got to say wtf is wrong with you? Seriously, you're a total witch with him, you hurt his ego, and now that he's pulling back you complain? 0.o
You hurt him. Now you want him back? Just let the poor guy go. It's obvious you're not too serious about him or your type.Also, how he hasn't closed the door on something serious with us and he added, "I haven't told that to a lot of people, matter of fact I don't think I've ever told a woman how I was thinking of having something serious with her". Lastly, he said "I'm a blunt person so if I don't see something serious with a woman I cut it off quickly"He just told you exactly what he's doing. Obviously he didn't see anything serious because your lack of commitment. Taurus, from my experience, are worse than Leos in jumping the gun. They get real serious and heavy from the get go. I know that based on some of the ones that have chased me, we do not mesh well. They just want to be in a committed relationship too quickly for me.click to expand
And how was I being a witch to him? If I was going to be a witch to him I would've just kept my mouth shut and let him still pursue me and take me out on dates. I was honest with him about where we stood. I see nothing wrong with him.
Posted by xtra1990Posted by MontgomeryHow was I playing games? I can't help that he's ahead of me and that I wanted to take things slow. I didn't know he wanted to get serious until the night I said I wanted to go slow.
Your fault.
Game playing-- he was playing it straight.
You can't hide the cards after you've shown
them.
-----------
This is one of those threads where I wonder...
is this real, or is it just to keep the forum
moving along. :/
All that detailed info but no insight.
click to expand
If you can't see what I mean, you'll have to learn
via experience-- I used to do the same.
Youre making faces and being coy instead of
leveling with him.
He read you correctly but you weren't ready to
be read, so you tried to back pedal instead.
*I didn't mean for that to rhyme lol*
Which is unfortunate because you really do
seem to like him.
How old are you, if you don't mind?
Posted by xtra1990Posted by MontgomeryHow was I playing games? I can't help that he's ahead of me and that I wanted to take things slow. I didn't know he wanted to get serious until the night I said I wanted to go slow.
Your fault.
Game playing-- he was playing it straight.
You can't hide the cards after you've shown
them.
-----------
This is one of those threads where I wonder...
is this real, or is it just to keep the forum
moving along. :/
All that detailed info but no insight.
click to expand
It just doesn't make a lot of sense to sleep with someone, and then turn around and say you want to take it slow. That's where you messed up. He went in knowing exactly what he wanted, so when you started to back-track, you made him doubt your feelings for him. Now he's retreating.
Once you sleep with a guy, not too many will understand going back to waiting until a relationship develops. Too many mixed signals and confusion from your end.
That said, I think it can be salvaged. Just be honest with him, let him know that things progressed a bit quicker than you would have preferred, but that you do like him and can see a possibility of dating in the future.
For someone who seems pretty affected by the situation, your reaction to his call was quite nonchalant/apathetic, hence, the "game-playing".
Posted by MontgomeryHaha nice rhyming.Posted by xtra1990Posted by MontgomeryHow was I playing games? I can't help that he's ahead of me and that I wanted to take things slow. I didn't know he wanted to get serious until the night I said I wanted to go slow.
Your fault.
Game playing-- he was playing it straight.
You can't hide the cards after you've shown
them.
-----------
This is one of those threads where I wonder...
is this real, or is it just to keep the forum
moving along. :/
All that detailed info but no insight.
If you can't see what I mean, you'll have to learn
via experience-- I used to do the same.
Youre making faces and being coy instead of
leveling with him.
He read you correctly but you weren't ready to
be read, so you tried to back pedal instead.
*I didn't mean for that to rhyme lol*
Which is unfortunate because you really do
seem to like him.
How old are you, if you don't mind?
click to expand
Yea I really do like him. I'm 24.
Posted by FleshpotYea, I definitely can see how I was sending mixed signals. I thought I was okay with sleeping with him but after I realized I rushed into things.Posted by xtra1990Posted by MontgomeryHow was I playing games? I can't help that he's ahead of me and that I wanted to take things slow. I didn't know he wanted to get serious until the night I said I wanted to go slow.
Your fault.
Game playing-- he was playing it straight.
You can't hide the cards after you've shown
them.
-----------
This is one of those threads where I wonder...
is this real, or is it just to keep the forum
moving along. :/
All that detailed info but no insight.
It just doesn't make a lot of sense to sleep with someone, and then turn around and say you want to take it slow. That's where you messed up. He went in knowing exactly what he wanted, so when you started to back-track, you made him doubt your feelings for him. Now he's retreating.
Once you sleep with a guy, not too many will understand going back to waiting until a relationship develops. Too many mixed signals and confusion from your end.
That said, I think it can be salvaged. Just be honest with him, let him know that things progressed a bit quicker than you would have preferred, but that you do like him and can see a possibility of dating in the future.
For someone who seems pretty affected by the situation, your reaction to his call was quite nonchalant/apathetic, hence, the "game-playing".
click to expand
As far as my response to his call, what else was I supposed to say? He said the dynamic was off because of the whole leo bs and once he said he doesn't see it long term I wasn't going to beg and plead with him. When I called him to figure out what was going on I thought he had just wanted sex from me, but I wasn't completely sure. The timing seemed right for a 'pump and dump'. I thought, well he was fine after we had slept together but then wasn't after I said I didn't want to have sex and had that talk about us. So I figured he got what he wanted and wanted to call it quits. Thrill of the chase I guess.
Posted by UndineLol no, no blue balls. I was fine with spending time with him and kissing. Aaahhh just didn't think this all the way through.
Why do you keep spending time at a man's house and kissing if you do not want to have sex with him? To give him blue balls...? There is a name for those like you....Prick-teaser!
Posted by aquarius_beautyThat's it. I just want to take it slow and get to know each other better. We just met a month ago and I don't want to rush into things with him or anyone for that matter.Posted by xtra1990So then other than you taking it slow. What is it do you want? What do you feel for him? Are you testing the waters? Or do you have feelings for someone else and that's why your a bit hesitant to commit?Posted by aquarius_beautyI told him I didn't know what I wanted before he said all those things to me. How did I hurt him? By being honest and not wanting to rush the whole sex thing? When he said you don't want to be made a fool of he was right. I like him I just want to go slow that's it. I don't see that being wrong. I didn't say I wanted to stop seeing him-just go slow since we have only known each other for a month.
Ok now that I read the whole thing I got to say wtf is wrong with you? Seriously, you're a total witch with him, you hurt his ego, and now that he's pulling back you complain? 0.o
You hurt him. Now you want him back? Just let the poor guy go. It's obvious you're not too serious about him or your type.Also, how he hasn't closed the door on something serious with us and he added, "I haven't told that to a lot of people, matter of fact I don't think I've ever told a woman how I was thinking of having something serious with her". Lastly, he said "I'm a blunt person so if I don't see something serious with a woman I cut it off quickly"He just told you exactly what he's doing. Obviously he didn't see anything serious because your lack of commitment. Taurus, from my experience, are worse than Leos in jumping the gun. They get real serious and heavy from the get go. I know that based on some of the ones that have chased me, we do not mesh well. They just want to be in a committed relationship too quickly for me.
And how was I being a witch to him? If I was going to be a witch to him I would've just kept my mouth shut and let him still pursue me and take me out on dates. I was honest with him about where we stood. I see nothing wrong with him.
click to expand
I like him and can see us being good for each other from the little that I know about him. I think we have good potential for it turning into something serious, but I'm not trying put the cart before the horse.
You are what i label as attention whore or girl-that-dont-know what she wants, if u deny me sex like that i would move on to another girl and ignore u completely.
Posted by aquarius_beautyYea, you're right. I just can't help but help but think he was only in it for sex.Posted by xtra1990Well I mean if he doesn't want to go at your pace or you're not willing to compromise then I wouldn't entertain the possibility for a relationship. Unless of course that's what you want, but you will need to communicate it with him. If he doesn't comply or if he's being an ass..then there is your answer.Posted by aquarius_beautyThat's it. I just want to take it slow and get to know each other better. We just met a month ago and I don't want to rush into things with him or anyone for that matter.Posted by xtra1990So then other than you taking it slow. What is it do you want? What do you feel for him? Are you testing the waters? Or do you have feelings for someone else and that's why your a bit hesitant to commit?Posted by aquarius_beautyI told him I didn't know what I wanted before he said all those things to me. How did I hurt him? By being honest and not wanting to rush the whole sex thing? When he said you don't want to be made a fool of he was right. I like him I just want to go slow that's it. I don't see that being wrong. I didn't say I wanted to stop seeing him-just go slow since we have only known each other for a month.
Ok now that I read the whole thing I got to say wtf is wrong with you? Seriously, you're a total witch with him, you hurt his ego, and now that he's pulling back you complain? 0.o
You hurt him. Now you want him back? Just let the poor guy go. It's obvious you're not too serious about him or your type.Also, how he hasn't closed the door on something serious with us and he added, "I haven't told that to a lot of people, matter of fact I don't think I've ever told a woman how I was thinking of having something serious with her". Lastly, he said "I'm a blunt person so if I don't see something serious with a woman I cut it off quickly"He just told you exactly what he's doing. Obviously he didn't see anything serious because your lack of commitment. Taurus, from my experience, are worse than Leos in jumping the gun. They get real serious and heavy from the get go. I know that based on some of the ones that have chased me, we do not mesh well. They just want to be in a committed relationship too quickly for me.
And how was I being a witch to him? If I was going to be a witch to him I would've just kept my mouth shut and let him still pursue me and take me out on dates. I was honest with him about where we stood. I see nothing wrong with him.
I like him and can see us being good for each other from the little that I know about him. I think we have good potential for it turning into something serious, but I'm not trying put the cart before the horse.
click to expand
Posted by xtra1990Possibly but it also sounds like he couldn't win with you. If he had backed off initially you would have felt used then too.Posted by aquarius_beautyYea, you're right. I just can't help but help but think he was only in it for sex.Posted by xtra1990Well I mean if he doesn't want to go at your pace or you're not willing to compromise then I wouldn't entertain the possibility for a relationship. Unless of course that's what you want, but you will need to communicate it with him. If he doesn't comply or if he's being an ass..then there is your answer.Posted by aquarius_beautyThat's it. I just want to take it slow and get to know each other better. We just met a month ago and I don't want to rush into things with him or anyone for that matter.Posted by xtra1990So then other than you taking it slow. What is it do you want? What do you feel for him? Are you testing the waters? Or do you have feelings for someone else and that's why your a bit hesitant to commit?Posted by aquarius_beautyI told him I didn't know what I wanted before he said all those things to me. How did I hurt him? By being honest and not wanting to rush the whole sex thing? When he said you don't want to be made a fool of he was right. I like him I just want to go slow that's it. I don't see that being wrong. I didn't say I wanted to stop seeing him-just go slow since we have only known each other for a month.
Ok now that I read the whole thing I got to say wtf is wrong with you? Seriously, you're a total witch with him, you hurt his ego, and now that he's pulling back you complain? 0.o
You hurt him. Now you want him back? Just let the poor guy go. It's obvious you're not too serious about him or your type.Also, how he hasn't closed the door on something serious with us and he added, "I haven't told that to a lot of people, matter of fact I don't think I've ever told a woman how I was thinking of having something serious with her". Lastly, he said "I'm a blunt person so if I don't see something serious with a woman I cut it off quickly"He just told you exactly what he's doing. Obviously he didn't see anything serious because your lack of commitment. Taurus, from my experience, are worse than Leos in jumping the gun. They get real serious and heavy from the get go. I know that based on some of the ones that have chased me, we do not mesh well. They just want to be in a committed relationship too quickly for me.
And how was I being a witch to him? If I was going to be a witch to him I would've just kept my mouth shut and let him still pursue me and take me out on dates. I was honest with him about where we stood. I see nothing wrong with him.
I like him and can see us being good for each other from the little that I know about him. I think we have good potential for it turning into something serious, but I'm not trying put the cart before the horse.
click to expand
Posted by aquarius_beautyIsn't that we he did? LolPosted by xtra1990A lot of guys are. You can differentiate by the type of guy he is if he sticks around. Guys who only want sex walk away or become irritated when they don't get it. Guys who care about you will always respect you and your decisionPosted by aquarius_beautyYea, you're right. I just can't help but help but think he was only in it for sex.Posted by xtra1990Well I mean if he doesn't want to go at your pace or you're not willing to compromise then I wouldn't entertain the possibility for a relationship. Unless of course that's what you want, but you will need to communicate it with him. If he doesn't comply or if he's being an ass..then there is your answer.Posted by aquarius_beautyThat's it. I just want to take it slow and get to know each other better. We just met a month ago and I don't want to rush into things with him or anyone for that matter.Posted by xtra1990So then other than you taking it slow. What is it do you want? What do you feel for him? Are you testing the waters? Or do you have feelings for someone else and that's why your a bit hesitant to commit?Posted by aquarius_beautyI told him I didn't know what I wanted before he said all those things to me. How did I hurt him? By being honest and not wanting to rush the whole sex thing? When he said you don't want to be made a fool of he was right. I like him I just want to go slow that's it. I don't see that being wrong. I didn't say I wanted to stop seeing him-just go slow since we have only known each other for a month.
Ok now that I read the whole thing I got to say wtf is wrong with you? Seriously, you're a total witch with him, you hurt his ego, and now that he's pulling back you complain? 0.o
You hurt him. Now you want him back? Just let the poor guy go. It's obvious you're not too serious about him or your type.Also, how he hasn't closed the door on something serious with us and he added, "I haven't told that to a lot of people, matter of fact I don't think I've ever told a woman how I was thinking of having something serious with her". Lastly, he said "I'm a blunt person so if I don't see something serious with a woman I cut it off quickly"He just told you exactly what he's doing. Obviously he didn't see anything serious because your lack of commitment. Taurus, from my experience, are worse than Leos in jumping the gun. They get real serious and heavy from the get go. I know that based on some of the ones that have chased me, we do not mesh well. They just want to be in a committed relationship too quickly for me.
And how was I being a witch to him? If I was going to be a witch to him I would've just kept my mouth shut and let him still pursue me and take me out on dates. I was honest with him about where we stood. I see nothing wrong with him.
I like him and can see us being good for each other from the little that I know about him. I think we have good potential for it turning into something serious, but I'm not trying put the cart before the horse.
click to expand
I read it, and I honestly don't see where you did anything wrong.
You expressed everything you felt. There's nothing wrong in that.
Its easy to say you hurt his ego/pride, but when should a guy stop letting that get in the way?
Also, its interesting you instantly regretted sleeping with him. Wonder what that means?!
You expressed everything you felt. There's nothing wrong in that.
Its easy to say you hurt his ego/pride, but when should a guy stop letting that get in the way?
Also, its interesting you instantly regretted sleeping with him. Wonder what that means?!
Posted by aquarius_beautySo what happened to all this? vvvvPosted by xtra1990Yeah. See the thing about you Leos is I don't tell you guys what to do...since you're just as stubborn as we Aquas and if I tell you to leave him you might just still pursue him. Despite the proof lolPosted by aquarius_beautyIsn't that we he did? LolPosted by xtra1990A lot of guys are. You can differentiate by the type of guy he is if he sticks around. Guys who only want sex walk away or become irritated when they don't get it. Guys who care about you will always respect you and your decisionPosted by aquarius_beautyYea, you're right. I just can't help but help but think he was only in it for sex.Posted by xtra1990Well I mean if he doesn't want to go at your pace or you're not willing to compromise then I wouldn't entertain the possibility for a relationship. Unless of course that's what you want, but you will need to communicate it with him. If he doesn't comply or if he's being an ass..then there is your answer.Posted by aquarius_beautyThat's it. I just want to take it slow and get to know each other better. We just met a month ago and I don't want to rush into things with him or anyone for that matter.Posted by xtra1990So then other than you taking it slow. What is it do you want? What do you feel for him? Are you testing the waters? Or do you have feelings for someone else and that's why your a bit hesitant to commit?Posted by aquarius_beautyI told him I didn't know what I wanted before he said all those things to me. How did I hurt him? By being honest and not wanting to rush the whole sex thing? When he said you don't want to be made a fool of he was right. I like him I just want to go slow that's it. I don't see that being wrong. I didn't say I wanted to stop seeing him-just go slow since we have only known each other for a month.
Ok now that I read the whole thing I got to say wtf is wrong with you? Seriously, you're a total witch with him, you hurt his ego, and now that he's pulling back you complain? 0.o
You hurt him. Now you want him back? Just let the poor guy go. It's obvious you're not too serious about him or your type.Also, how he hasn't closed the door on something serious with us and he added, "I haven't told that to a lot of people, matter of fact I don't think I've ever told a woman how I was thinking of having something serious with her". Lastly, he said "I'm a blunt person so if I don't see something serious with a woman I cut it off quickly"He just told you exactly what he's doing. Obviously he didn't see anything serious because your lack of commitment. Taurus, from my experience, are worse than Leos in jumping the gun. They get real serious and heavy from the get go. I know that based on some of the ones that have chased me, we do not mesh well. They just want to be in a committed relationship too quickly for me.
And how was I being a witch to him? If I was going to be a witch to him I would've just kept my mouth shut and let him still pursue me and take me out on dates. I was honest with him about where we stood. I see nothing wrong with him.
I like him and can see us being good for each other from the little that I know about him. I think we have good potential for it turning into something serious, but I'm not trying put the cart before the horse.
the decision is yours
Posted by aquarius_beauty
Ok now that I read the whole thing I got to say wtf is wrong with you? Seriously, you're a total witch with him, you hurt his ego, and now that he's pulling back you complain? 0.o
You hurt him. Now you want him back? Just let the poor guy go. It's obvious you're not too serious about him or your type.Also, how he hasn't closed the door on something serious with us and he added, "I haven't told that to a lot of people, matter of fact I don't think I've ever told a woman how I was thinking of having something serious with her". Lastly, he said "I'm a blunt person so if I don't see something serious with a woman I cut it off quickly"He just told you exactly what he's doing. Obviously he didn't see anything serious because your lack of commitment. Taurus, from my experience, are worse than Leos in jumping the gun. They get real serious and heavy from the get go. I know that based on some of the ones that have chased me, we do not mesh well. They just want to be in a committed relationship too quickly for me.click to expand
Eh. You gotta be true to yourself. He was moving too fast and pressuring you too much. You weren't comfortable with him. I never date a guy who talks about sex too soon. The relationship starts off as only a sexual attraction. Not love.
Posted by pinkbird03Yea he was definitely moving too fast for me. He never talked about sex though. If we were talking about something that could be sexual he would change the subject. This is why I'm conflicted if he was after sex or not.
Eh. You gotta be true to yourself. He was moving too fast and pressuring you too much. You weren't comfortable with him. I never date a guy who talks about sex too soon. The relationship starts off as only a sexual attraction. Not love.
Posted by xtra1990He may or may not have been after sex. But did he respect you, no.Posted by pinkbird03Yea he was definitely moving too fast for me. He never talked about sex though. If we were talking about something that could be sexual he would change the subject. This is why I'm conflicted if he was after sex or not.
Eh. You gotta be true to yourself. He was moving too fast and pressuring you too much. You weren't comfortable with him. I never date a guy who talks about sex too soon. The relationship starts off as only a sexual attraction. Not love.
click to expand
Posted by UndineAhh, I disagree with this. Kissing does not equal sex, no matter how television tries to make it seem that one must always lead to the other.
Why do you keep spending time at a man's house and kissing if you do not want to have sex with him? To give him blue balls...? There is a name for those like you....Prick-teaser!
As long as intentions are clear and both are on the same page, hanging out and kissing without doing other sexual acts are competely fine. It's when either person has a hidden unterior motive that things go wrong.
Posted by LillyPetalI agree.Posted by UndineAhh, I disagree with this. Kissing does not equal sex, no matter how television tries to make it seem that one must always lead to the other.
Why do you keep spending time at a man's house and kissing if you do not want to have sex with him? To give him blue balls...? There is a name for those like you....Prick-teaser!
As long as intentions are clear and both are on the same page, hanging out and kissing without doing other sexual acts are competely fine. It's when either person has a hidden unterior motive that things go wrong.click to expand
Posted by LillyPetalYou may disagree as much as you like. But if a new, young couple start snogging at home, and he does not get an erection, you may as well say goodbye right there, because the attraction is null and zero.Posted by UndineAhh, I disagree with this. Kissing does not equal sex, no matter how television tries to make it seem that one must always lead to the other.
Why do you keep spending time at a man's house and kissing if you do not want to have sex with him? To give him blue balls...? There is a name for those like you....Prick-teaser!
As long as intentions are clear and both are on the same page, hanging out and kissing without doing other sexual acts are competely fine. It's when either person has a hidden unterior motive that things go wrong.click to expand
He doesn't wanna be your fuck buddy understood?
Posted by aquarius_beautyHaha I see
eeeh. Gemini moon.
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100I'm not blaming him. I am saying he was moving too fast emotionally after one month.Posted by xtra1990You had sex with him after one month... He was going at your pace believe it or not... You regret it and it's your regret that is now blaming him when he was simply following you... You opened your legs.. You should have known which direction you were going in..Posted by pinkbird03Yea he was definitely moving too fast for me. He never talked about sex though. If we were talking about something that could be sexual he would change the subject. This is why I'm conflicted if he was after sex or not.
Eh. You gotta be true to yourself. He was moving too fast and pressuring you too much. You weren't comfortable with him. I never date a guy who talks about sex too soon. The relationship starts off as only a sexual attraction. Not love.
You even suggested "fuck buddy" to him... So don't twist it.
Next time be very sure of what it is you want before opening your legs..
Typical Leo...click to expand
OP was unclear with what she wanted which attracted an unclear situation.
If you enter into something or take a course of action when you lack clarity it will only serve to take you wandering down a path of no direction.
If you want to get from A to B then you make a plan on how to arrive there. If you don't make a plan then how will you get there? Same as if you don't know where you're going then you'll just wander around in circles achieving nothing.
I think the guy liked you. He seemed clear in his head with what he was looking for. You, on the other hand, were wishy washy. Clearly you were comfortable and decisive enough to open your legs and have him insert his penis into you. If you weren't then why sleep with him? Then you blame him for moving too fast and turn into an arsehole blaming him when it was you who made a problem that wasn't even there.
If you enter into something or take a course of action when you lack clarity it will only serve to take you wandering down a path of no direction.
If you want to get from A to B then you make a plan on how to arrive there. If you don't make a plan then how will you get there? Same as if you don't know where you're going then you'll just wander around in circles achieving nothing.
I think the guy liked you. He seemed clear in his head with what he was looking for. You, on the other hand, were wishy washy. Clearly you were comfortable and decisive enough to open your legs and have him insert his penis into you. If you weren't then why sleep with him? Then you blame him for moving too fast and turn into an arsehole blaming him when it was you who made a problem that wasn't even there.
Posted by AgentP911Again I'm not blaming him too fast about the sex. Talking about him thinking long term after a handful of dates and knowing each other a man isn't too soon to you? That doesn't make me an ass at all. If you would have read the entire post then you would've seen that I said I owned I probably sent mixed signals with the sex part.
OP was unclear with what she wanted which attracted an unclear situation.
If you enter into something or take a course of action when you lack clarity it will only serve to take you wandering down a path of no direction.
If you want to get from A to B then you make a plan on how to arrive there. If you don't make a plan then how will you get there? Same as if you don't know where you're going then you'll just wander around in circles achieving nothing.
I think the guy liked you. He seemed clear in his head with what he was looking for. You, on the other hand, were wishy washy. Clearly you were comfortable and decisive enough to open your legs and have him insert his penis into you. If you weren't then why sleep with him? Then you blame him for moving too fast and turn into an arsehole blaming him when it was you who made a problem that wasn't even there.
Plus, don't be so high and mighty and acting like you've never made a mistake before. I had sex with him and thought I was ready for it. I clearly wasn't. Everyone makes mistakes.
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100Y'all are being way too hard on OP. They've only been on few dates and known each other for a month. A lot of people in her position wouldn't know what they want.Posted by xtra1990Not that kind... I have never made a mistake by having sex and not "ready for it"...Posted by AgentP911Again I'm not blaming him too fast about the sex. Talking about him thinking long term after a handful of dates and knowing each other a man isn't too soon to you? That doesn't make me an ass at all. If you would have read the entire post then you would've seen that I said I owned I probably sent mixed signals with the sex part.
OP was unclear with what she wanted which attracted an unclear situation.
If you enter into something or take a course of action when you lack clarity it will only serve to take you wandering down a path of no direction.
If you want to get from A to B then you make a plan on how to arrive there. If you don't make a plan then how will you get there? Same as if you don't know where you're going then you'll just wander around in circles achieving nothing.
I think the guy liked you. He seemed clear in his head with what he was looking for. You, on the other hand, were wishy washy. Clearly you were comfortable and decisive enough to open your legs and have him insert his penis into you. If you weren't then why sleep with him? Then you blame him for moving too fast and turn into an arsehole blaming him when it was you who made a problem that wasn't even there.
Plus, don't be so high and mighty and acting like you've never made a mistake before. I had sex with him and thought I was ready for it. I clearly wasn't. Everyone makes mistakes.
Keep your legs shut next time and your "kissing" to minimal as "making out" inevitably leads to sex and you being classed as a cock tease...
You live and learn and I suggest you leave the poor Taurus alone... Taurus and Leo not really a long term match anyway...click to expand
Just because YOU didn't make a mistake by having sex too soon doesn't mean others haven't. I know I have.
OP was honest about what was going in her head and so was he. Neither of them was wrong. Stop making it seem like she's some ass for being honest.
If a man was talking this stuff to me this would freak me out. She wasn't looking for anything and came across someone that she met and in a month's time he was moving too fast emotionally for her. She said to go slow. He should respect her wishes to go slow and she should respect him wanting to be serious.
Let's not forget this guy placed the blame on astrology. That was a very immature way to handle things. He could've just communicated what was really going on-good, bad, or indifferent. Instead he decided to take the pansy immature route with that astrology bs line that he never paid attention to before OP mentioned it on their first date.
Posted by xtra1990Posted by AgentP911Again I'm not blaming him too fast about the sex. Talking about him thinking long term after a handful of dates and knowing each other a man isn't too soon to you? That doesn't make me an ass at all. If you would have read the entire post then you would've seen that I said I owned I probably sent mixed signals with the sex part.
OP was unclear with what she wanted which attracted an unclear situation.
If you enter into something or take a course of action when you lack clarity it will only serve to take you wandering down a path of no direction.
If you want to get from A to B then you make a plan on how to arrive there. If you don't make a plan then how will you get there? Same as if you don't know where you're going then you'll just wander around in circles achieving nothing.
I think the guy liked you. He seemed clear in his head with what he was looking for. You, on the other hand, were wishy washy. Clearly you were comfortable and decisive enough to open your legs and have him insert his penis into you. If you weren't then why sleep with him? Then you blame him for moving too fast and turn into an arsehole blaming him when it was you who made a problem that wasn't even there.
Plus, don't be so high and mighty and acting like you've never made a mistake before. I had sex with him and thought I was ready for it. I clearly wasn't. Everyone makes mistakes.
click to expand
Fuck off with your defensive high and mighty bullshit. Everyone has made or makes mistakes. It's obvious and posts do not need to have endless disclaimers on the end stating the obvious.
I read the entire post thank you very much. Just because you say you 'owned' sending mixed messages doesn't mean it cannot be stated or talked about. Oh she owned it? Well that's ok then we don't need to include that bit now even though it was a major part of why you are currently in this situation and has lead you to write this story. It's ok, we'll just forget about that bit. ?
No, talking about long term and stating your intentions after a few dates is not too premature. Why do you think it is?
You think discussing what you're looking for from each other is too soon and a negative thing yet opening your legs for someone after a few dates without being clear what you're looking for is perfectly ok? That's what you need to address here. Sleeping with someone after one date or three is perfectly ok as long as you are CLEAR in yourself about what you want. Dating or sleeping with someone without being clear leads you to the situation you are in.
Talking about what you're looking for or having a plan or direction and knowing what you want is the best way to go about things in life and why should it not apply to dating? What makes dating so different from other aspects of life?
If you apply for a job you need to know what job you want or whether it's a career or temp position. If you're not sure what you want to do you try out a few different things and you're clear in yourself that you need to find the right path and find something you want to do so that's the route you take. You know you may start jobs and it not be right for it or you know exactly what you want to do, for example, be a doctor and have X years training and you go for it.
He knew what he wanted. You didn't. It wasn't a match between you. He's pulling back because he knows it's not a match between you as you're not clear with what you want right now. That could be for any number of reasons. No time, just got our relationship, you're not ready as other stuff going on, or you just need time to figure out what you do want.
Put yourself in his shoes. You're looking to date. You go on Internet or meet people out and about etc but you're clear that you'd actually like to meet someone to date with a view to something long term. You see a nice looking fella, good personality etc, he ticks a lot of boxes and you go out a few times. It looks promising and after a few dates you get kissing each other and you have sex. It's a great evening and you come away smiling like a Cheshire Cat! You talk the next day and he drops the bomb that he wasn't quite ready for sex and he's not sure what he wants. Maybe he just wants a fuck buddy. He starts going hot and cold and isn't really giving the actions of a person looking for the same thing as you. He feels wishy washy and you see he's not a match so you don't see the point in continuing as why waste your time time on a guy who isn't quite sure what he wants? You thank him for his time and you move on to find someone who is looking for the same as you.
Meanwhile, he goes about his day and continues to date people without thinking about what he wants but then wonders why he keeps finding himself in the same situations. Perhaps if he were clearer in what he was looking for, a FWB, fuck buddy, mate to hang with, dating for long term, he'd find the results he wants.
Sound familiar?
My dear,
You are into astrology and he is not, yet you did not make use of your astrology knowledge. You should have read up more on the Bull earlier if you are really interested.
A Bull usually takes things very very slow. You Bull is already sure about you from the signs, yet you used the two words:
HANGING OUT when he wants to go long-term?
I believe you still have your chance cos he did say he doesn't mind waiting for someone he IS INTO. That's your trump card. HE IS INTO YOU.
Drop him a msg one or two weeks later. If he wants you, he will be there.
May I suggest, learning more things about Taurus and their philosophy in that period of time?
You typed a whole essay, so I gather you are into him. If you are into him, then learn more about him. Go, go, go!
You are into astrology and he is not, yet you did not make use of your astrology knowledge. You should have read up more on the Bull earlier if you are really interested.
A Bull usually takes things very very slow. You Bull is already sure about you from the signs, yet you used the two words:
HANGING OUT when he wants to go long-term?
I believe you still have your chance cos he did say he doesn't mind waiting for someone he IS INTO. That's your trump card. HE IS INTO YOU.
Drop him a msg one or two weeks later. If he wants you, he will be there.
May I suggest, learning more things about Taurus and their philosophy in that period of time?
You typed a whole essay, so I gather you are into him. If you are into him, then learn more about him. Go, go, go!
To add on,
Your Taurus sounds like a great guy. Mature and he is clear of what he wants and he doesn't date more than one girl at a time. Very committed.
You are already 24. If you have not thought about what kind of guy you want, marriage plans, finance, security, children and what you want your future to be, pls leave your Taurus. I feel for him.
You already make him feel unsafe. Don't make him suffer further by saying, 'I don't know what I want in a marriage. I would rather splurge money on the finer things in life, than to save for my children's education.'
Taurus value security and their marriage life very much. They don't take failure lightly. If you think only for yourself, leave him alone. When Taurus is sure, they use 'we'.
I know cos I have a Taurus friend who dates a Leo too.
Your Taurus sounds like a great guy. Mature and he is clear of what he wants and he doesn't date more than one girl at a time. Very committed.
You are already 24. If you have not thought about what kind of guy you want, marriage plans, finance, security, children and what you want your future to be, pls leave your Taurus. I feel for him.
You already make him feel unsafe. Don't make him suffer further by saying, 'I don't know what I want in a marriage. I would rather splurge money on the finer things in life, than to save for my children's education.'
Taurus value security and their marriage life very much. They don't take failure lightly. If you think only for yourself, leave him alone. When Taurus is sure, they use 'we'.
I know cos I have a Taurus friend who dates a Leo too.
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Been reading up a fair bit on Taurus guys recently. Found one book pretty helpful for anyone going into new relationship with Taurus man. It preps you with the right mindset and what to expect from Taurus relationship.
Here's the link:
https://diana
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We had our second date the next night and afterwards my girlfriends and one of his good friends joined us for drinks. As soon as his friend saw me he said, "ohhh well HELLO, I've heard A LOT about you". My bull turned to me a little embarrassed and said don't listen to him. It was not long after that he told me that he and his friend don't date more than one woman at a time. So I guess he was just seeing me? Either way I was just enjoying his company and not expecting anything. We had taken an uber into the city so he left his car at my apartment. On the way back we couldn't stop kissing and he came into the community area and kissed a bit more and it got a little heavy. He asked if we could go upstairs and I said no it was time for him to go home. A few days later I was asking him about a store near him because I was getting a gift for one my guy friend's birthday. He said, "who is the gift for? Let me profile him really quickly haha". I knew he was joking (well maybe he wasn't completely joking?) but thought it was a little odd to make the joke.
Fast forward to this weekend we went on Friday. Another great date in the books-held hands and he mentioned again how he only dates one person at a time. He put his car in the shop so I picked him up and dropped him off since he lives near by. So I went inside for a bit and we had sex. I immediately regretted it. As soon as I left he contacted me and was still making jokes, so he was still his usual funny self which I took as a good sign. The next day he said he wanted to see me again but I had to go a birthday party and said I would swing by after. I get there and we start kissing and I tel him I'm not having sex with him. He thought I was joking but he kept trying, but it wasn't in a pushy way at all. This man tried for hours making jokes about sex but I still kept saying no.
He said how the sex was "phenomenal" and he thought I teasing him on purpose because I hadn't told him why I didn't want to have sex, just that I didn't want to. He eventually said "this must be an ego thing for you isn't? To see me keep trying and you keep saying no so that you can go back and tell your friends about how I acted. It has to be because you keep kissing me but then keep saying no to sex." I finally told him that I thought yesterday was too soon and I wish that I hadn't slept with him. He immediately started to apologize saying, "sorry if you felt like I was pushing you yesterday I wasn't trying to do that all". I said, "no I didn't do anything that I didn't want to do it was just too soon". He said he understood and mentioned that any woman he's dated they've slept together within the 1st or 2nd date so he doesn't think any different of women who have sex early (we had known each other a month and had more dates than that).
He said let me guess, "you don't be used and made a fool of?" I said yea that's it. He said well "what do you need from me? Ask me anything you want. Do you want me to tell you how I feel about you?" I said "no I could give a crap about that it's about me and my level of comfort." He kept asking me "well what do you want?" I kept saying I don't know and that I hadn't thought that far. I said I could very well want you as just a fuck buddy or something more but right now I don't know. He said well I don't know what I want either but this how I envision us. You'll be starting law school in the fall and I'll be finishing up my program so we'll see each other a few days out the week and then we'll just continue from there. I said, "wait you've thought about that already? Or did you just make that up on the cusp?" He said, "no I thought about it". He then asked what my 5 year plan is for a relationship which I tell him. He then proceeds to say how he hasn't been with someone in 2 years because he was busy helping his dead through chemo and after he died he went through a grieving process so he just wasn't ready. How I'm the first person that he's taken on a date in 6 months .
Also, how he hasn't closed the door on something serious with us and he added, "I haven't told that to a lot of people, matter of fact I don't think I've ever told a woman how I was thinking of having something serious with her". Lastly, he said "I'm a blunt person so if I don't see something serious with a woman I cut it off quickly". I said well we can keep hanging out. He cocked his head to the side and said "hanging out" I said, "yea...why did you make that face?" He said "Nothing. yea we can keep hanging out then". He kissed me goodbye and I left.
So I didn't hear from the next day and I immediately knew something was off since he made sure to contact me everyday. The next day nothing as well. So I called him and said I hope he didn't take offense to wanting to take things slow (since I didn't quite word it like that when we had seen each other lol). He said "I apologize if it seems like I was a little too aggressive the other night and if I came of entitled because I'm not entitled to sex with anyone. I have no problem waiting for someone I'm into but truthfully I'm having doubts about our dynamics". Huh?? I said, "dynamics, what do you mean". He said, "oh well the whole Leo thing. You said how they like the finer things in life and y'all are regal and that's just not me and we had different motivations". I started laughing because I knew immediately that was bull shit. The man didn't even know a single thing about astrology, even mentioned how he didn't think much of it, and now it's an issue? lol. Plus, I told him things about Leos on the first date. I was a Leo the entire time and there was no problem. Then he proceeded to say "I like talking to you see with you. We can keep hanging out but this isn't going to be long term". I said, "Understood" and got off the phone.
I've never dated a Taurus before so I was just a little confused. I was the one who kept saying I didn't know what I wanted and even my friends were saying it seemed like he was ahead of me in where this was going with us, but now because "doubts about our dynamics" he doesn't see long term?. The hell? Why even mention long term if I didn't even say shit about long term anyways. I can see if I had been saying I wanted to be with him but I didn't even say that. Now I just feel used :/
So.over.dating.
Any insight into this bull would be greatly appreciated 🙂