update

So I'm not sure if you guys remember me telling you about this fairytale of a non existent love story or not. But back in February of 2016 I met this bartender. He gave me his number and then I used it once and he messaged me back but i never messaged him back. Well back in July of 2018 I went to his job and had a birthday lunch and that's when I gave him my number however he already had it saved from 2016 he asked me if I had ever been at the eberhardt and I told him yes, why and he showed me that my number was saved since then... Anyway fast forward to september we go out one night for a couple cocktails after work and then I took him back to his car where he kissed me. it was so magical, i've never felt such intense emotions through a kiss ever in my life. Anyway that next weekend he kind of fell off and stopped replying to my text messages, so i then asked him to brunch and told me he just started seeing someone. It happened so fast and that he had to decline for obvious reasons. Well just recently I went to his job and we hit it off again. I texted him to ask if he was still in a relationship and he responds no, but he is moving in 4 months..So the next day I go to his job and and he kisses me so intensely it felt like a fairytale. But he kept telling me over and over and over again it wouldn't ever work between us because of this baggage he has. I asked it was a kid and he said no.. So The next day I messaged him and asked if it was an STD and he said no and it doesn't have anything to do with me as to the reason why he's moving.. He stated he's moving to get away from all of the emotional drama these past girls have put him through. When I tell him it's not good to run from problems cause they ultimately catch up with him.. he told me he isn't running from any problems that he's been trying to get out of texas for good. He also stated that I would meet that special someone one day and find success in my life. I asked him what if he were that special someone and that I find it weird that we bumped into each other multiple times. N of course he didn't respond.. Safe to say he's moving on from texas and everyone in it except for his family...

Side Note: we never did anything but kiss two - 3 times...

Idk what to do. I feel like my heart has been crushed into a thousand pieces..

also I'm a cancer and he is a taurus

He's not interested. He's never been interested enough in you hence why nothing ever came of it even when there were opportunities. He's also not available. He's not physically available due to moving and he's not emotionally available because he's made poor choices in his previous girlfriends and is suffering because of it. He could just be bullshitting you because he's just not that interested in you and is being polite with his rejection. It is OK for him not to be interested in you. It's not a bad reflection on you. It just, is. Just because you felt something doesn't mean he did. Feelings are subjective. Why would you wan to get involved with someone who is moving away and who isn't available? Are the pickings in Texas THAT slim these days?

Thank you for your honesty, even though it hurt. You are completely right, he was never interested in me in the beginning.

Posted by AgentP911

He's not interested. He's never been interested enough in you hence why nothing ever came of it even when there were opportunities. He's also not available. He's not physically available due to moving and he's not emotionally available because he's made poor choices in his previous girlfriends and is suffering because of it. He could just be bullshitting you because he's just not that interested in you and is being polite with his rejection. It is OK for him not to be interested in you. It's not a bad reflection on you. It just, is. Just because you felt something doesn't mean he did. Feelings are subjective. Why would you wan to get involved with someone who is moving away and who isn't available? Are the pickings in Texas THAT slim these days?

Posted by Wanderlustcancerian24

Thank you for your honesty, even though it hurt. You are completely right, he was never interested in me in the beginning.

Posted by AgentP911

He's not interested. He's never been interested enough in you hence why nothing ever came of it even when there were opportunities. He's also not available. He's not physically available due to moving and he's not emotionally available because he's made poor choices in his previous girlfriends and is suffering because of it. He could just be bullshitting you because he's just not that interested in you and is being polite with his rejection. It is OK for him not to be interested in you. It's not a bad reflection on you. It just, is. Just because you felt something doesn't mean he did. Feelings are subjective. Why would you wan to get involved with someone who is moving away and who isn't available? Are the pickings in Texas THAT slim these days?

click to expand

It wasn't intended to hurt although rather be hurt now than continue pursuing or hoping with someone who just isn't on the same page as you. He's not exactly making himself available and saying 'hey, yes I recall you, I hope I haven't missed my chance but are you free to go out with me again? Sorry we didn't get off on the right foot but let's give it another go!' Instead, he's actively encouraging you to forget him and making excuses. Who knows what has gone on in his life. Don't take it personally. You'll be fine. Just date others who are receptive to you. You'll feel a whole lot better you didn't waste your time with someone who doesn't see your value.

i’ve never understood how or why you would lead me on… The first time this happened you met someone and it didn’t work out between you and her, and now Instead of just being up front with your complete disinterest in me you sit there and tell me things will never work between us but then you go on to say that if it were up to you, you would wine and dine me and then you kiss me goodbye and feel up on me. Like it’s something that you want but you’re just so dang confused. It’s not fair to me… but it’s all good. I’ll get past all of this and you. Also, I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for in Washington, cause like I said you deserve the best! Maybe I’m not being 100% with my feelings either, but they are very transparent. I like you and regardless of how you feel for me those feelings probably won’t go away anytime soon. But you’re right it’s time for me to move on. Wish you nothing but happiness in your life and on your journey✌🏽

was thinking about sending this message for closure??

a bartender?

customer service you fell for?

gotta be kidding me.

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by Wanderlustcancerian24

i’ve never understood how or why you would lead me on… The first time this happened you met someone and it didn’t work out between you and her, and now Instead of just being up front with your complete disinterest in me you sit there and tell me things will never work between us but then you go on to say that if it were up to you, you would wine and dine me and then you kiss me goodbye and feel up on me. Like it’s something that you want but you’re just so dang confused. It’s not fair to me… but it’s all good. I’ll get past all of this and you. Also, I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for in Washington, cause like I said you deserve the best! Maybe I’m not being 100% with my feelings either, but they are very transparent. I like you and regardless of how you feel for me those feelings probably won’t go away anytime soon. But you’re right it’s time for me to move on. Wish you nothing but happiness in your life and on your journey✌🏽

was thinking about sending this message for closure??

Don't

Have pride

Move on

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yes Pride keeps one's sanity.. I don't know what I'd do without it. It saves me from making an emotional mess

That's what I keep trying to explain to my cancerian cousin. But she is so focused on her pain that she'd make herself so weak and run after unrealistic expectations, ending up making her pain even worse and feeling unworthy

I wouldn't bother sending it but I'm not the one hurting from perceived ejection. Will it change anything? No.

The thing is, you feel bad for him leading you on but it takes two to tango, as they say. You were there. You are responsible for you. You chose to pursue this guy and when he said no, albeit in a polite, roundabout way, you feel you have the right to attack him.

Let's put it this way. If the boot were on the other foot and he liked you a lot and was pursuing and insisting you both belonged together but you weren't feeling it plus you'd had a date before and although it was nice you just weren't feeling it so it's not like you didn't give it a go so you politely told him where you're at which is not in a good place emotionally plus you're moving away soon so the answer is no... Yet he wouldn't accept no for an answer. Instead, he continued to harass you AND started sending you shitty messages... At what point is this behaviour OK?

Just because you're a woman it doesn't mean you can act like an arsehole. If he did this to you I'm sure you wouldn't like it and you'd probably be jumping on the #metoo bandwagon!

So he said some words to bullshit or sweet talk you. He copped a feel and you didn't mind at the time because you thought it would get you bonus points and lead to what you wanted but it didn't so now you turn the tables and suddenly feel used because of it and you're blaming him because you allowed yourself to get into this situation. I'm sorry but take responsibility.

He said no. It's his right to say no as is your right too. I'm sorry you feel badly about it but it's far better to take it on the chin, accept it, cry about it, and move on.

If you send the text he'll know he had a lucky escape from a sore loser. Don't be that person.

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by Wanderlustcancerian24

i’ve never understood how or why you would lead me on… The first time this happened you met someone and it didn’t work out between you and her, and now Instead of just being up front with your complete disinterest in me you sit there and tell me things will never work between us but then you go on to say that if it were up to you, you would wine and dine me and then you kiss me goodbye and feel up on me. Like it’s something that you want but you’re just so dang confused. It’s not fair to me… but it’s all good. I’ll get past all of this and you. Also, I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for in Washington, cause like I said you deserve the best! Maybe I’m not being 100% with my feelings either, but they are very transparent. I like you and regardless of how you feel for me those feelings probably won’t go away anytime soon. But you’re right it’s time for me to move on. Wish you nothing but happiness in your life and on your journey✌🏽

was thinking about sending this message for closure??

Don't

Have pride

Move on

click to expand

Said far more eloquently than me 😆

To be completely honest he makes really good money. Which most bartenders do. I don’t see the problem with that!?

Posted by virgoOPPP

a bartender?

customer service you fell for?

gotta be kidding me.

No more texting.

Let this go.

Posted by Wanderlustcancerian24

To be completely honest he makes really good money. Which most bartenders do. I don’t see the problem with that!?

Posted by virgoOPPP

a bartender?

customer service you fell for?

gotta be kidding me.

click to expand

no i mean you fell for customer service personality

Posted by tiziani

I think everyone has felt the way he does at some point in their life.

yes, i've thought about moving to washington too

Posted by Wanderlustcancerian24

But he kept telling me over and over and over again it wouldn't ever work between us because of this baggage he has. I asked it was a kid and he said no..

Did you assume he would refer to his own kid as "baggage"?