Men, under what circumstances would you remain friends on Facebook

with the woman who falsely accused you of sexual abuse

LOL no one I would imagine.

Posted by LibraSupreme

LOL no one I would imagine.

You would think so, right?

Posted by tiziani

Shit happens, like VS said.

Either that or I just haven't logged into my FB in ages.

Lets say you log on regularly and see her in your feed for the past 10 years...after she accused you of sexual assault to friends and family.

It's someone who has a good heart deep down but is also dealing with shit that makes her say and do things impulsively only to regret it during those periodic moments of clarity - it'd be someone whose wellbeing I genuinly care about that I feel like I refuse to just throw her out to the wolves like most people in her life have done that she thought were her friends.

Taking any sexual or romantic feelings out of the equation btw.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by tiziani

Shit happens, like VS said.

Either that or I just haven't logged into my FB in ages.

Lets say you log on regularly and see her in your feed for the past 10 years...after she accused you of sexual assault to friends and family.

Did she come clean or is she still accusing me?

click to expand

Maybe not actively accusing you. But never came clean either.

Posted by enfant_terrible

It's someone who has a good heart deep down but is also dealing with shit that makes her say and do things impulsively only to regret it during those periodic moments of clarity - it'd be someone whose wellbeing I genuinly care about that I feel like I refuse to just throw her out to the wolves like most people in her life have done that she thought were her friends.

Taking any sexual or romantic feelings out of the equation btw.

She never said she regretted it. She never took it back either.

Probably to keep the peace, men are dumb like that 😂

Posted by tiziani

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by tiziani

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by tiziani

Shit happens, like VS said.

Either that or I just haven't logged into my FB in ages.

Lets say you log on regularly and see her in your feed for the past 10 years...after she accused you of sexual assault to friends and family.

Did she come clean or is she still accusing me?

Maybe not actively accusing you. But never came clean either.

Hm fair enough. I can only think it's so she sees she's got nothing over you or your family so she may as well just drop it, or come clean in the future.

click to expand

Sorry, clarification. She accused you to her friends and family, not yours. Well mutual friends I guess.

Posted by TheRabbit

If she had big tiddies.

How big

to gather evidence

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by enfant_terrible

It's someone who has a good heart deep down but is also dealing with shit that makes her say and do things impulsively only to regret it during those periodic moments of clarity - it'd be someone whose wellbeing I genuinly care about that I feel like I refuse to just throw her out to the wolves like most people in her life have done that she thought were her friends.

Taking any sexual or romantic feelings out of the equation btw.

She never said she regretted it. She never took it back either.

click to expand

Ultimately if I care that much about someone (platonically) it isn't about my pride or ego but genuine concern. I assume that a person in a place that low talks a whole lot of shit they don't mean or even remember, I'd bring it up if they reached out in a genuine adult way.. but aside from that a false rape accusation with no legal consequence to me and that no one really listens to bc of who it comes from, under the circumstance it wouldn't bother me one bit and I wouldn't much hold her to it bc ultimately they're in a place where they don't know what that entails.

Either way you look at it my life is always gonna be better than hers; I'll always be happier than her. I'll never have her problems. Why kick someone who's down if I supposedly care about her. All that energy could be put into just tryin to be there for the person anyway possible without losing yourself.

Pure speculations btw. Soul's case may be different bc I don't know the girl.

Posted by hydorah

to gather evidence

What kind of evidence would you be looking for?

Posted by LadyNeptune

with the woman who falsely accused you of sexual abuse

Who did you accuse?

Posted by TheSag

Posted by LadyNeptune

with the woman who falsely accused you of sexual abuse

Who did you accuse?

click to expand

I didn't. This thread isn't about me.

So, ...will you answer the question?

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by TheSag

Posted by LadyNeptune

with the woman who falsely accused you of sexual abuse

Who did you accuse?

I didn't. This thread isn't about me.

So, ...will you answer the question?

click to expand

Liar!

Under no circumstances.

I would either call the police and sue you or beat up your boyfriend if you had one. And then I would blackmail you both for money, for not going to the police.

What I am trying to say is you are DEAD to me if you falsly accuse me! 😡

LOL this is because Soul called you emotionally unstable (which you are), right?



He called you out on your retardation and now you're trying to spite him by flapping your gums about his situation. You're gonna make a Jed-themed thread next, yes?

All that bravado and the "oooh look at me I'm so successful" turning out to be just piss & wind. What a weak lil bitch you turned out to be. I'm very disappointed in you. You might as well be a Cancer.

Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow

LOL this is because Soul called you emotionally unstable (which you are), right?



He called you out on your retardation and now you're trying to spite him by flapping your gums about his situation. You're gonna make a Jed-themed thread next, yes?

All that bravado and the "oooh look at me I'm so successful" turning out to be just piss & wind. What a weak lil bitch you turned out to be. I'm very disappointed in you. You might as well be a Cancer.

Nope won't be making any thread in your honor. Sorry.

Couldn't care less about Jed.

Why do I always miss the drama here—

I wish I had no life.. 😢

Posted by Black-Mamba

sexually abuse is different than physical abuse

Idk actually.

If she accuses you of biting her breast during sex and that it was nonconsensual (the biting) and then shows the bruises. Is that sexual or physical or both...

Posted by TheSag

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by TheSag

Posted by LadyNeptune

with the woman who falsely accused you of sexual abuse

Who did you accuse?

I didn't. This thread isn't about me.

So, ...will you answer the question?

Liar!

Under no circumstances.

I would either call the police and sue you or beat up your boyfriend if you had one. And then I would blackmail you both for money, for not going to the police.

What I am trying to say is you are DEAD to me if you falsly accuse me! 😡

click to expand

Yeah I feel like this is a normal reaction. I have no need to keep liars in my life.

Trying to wrap my head around the reasoning there...

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by TheSag

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by TheSag

Posted by LadyNeptune

with the woman who falsely accused you of sexual abuse

Who did you accuse?

I didn't. This thread isn't about me.

So, ...will you answer the question?

Liar!

Under no circumstances.

I would either call the police and sue you or beat up your boyfriend if you had one. And then I would blackmail you both for money, for not going to the police.

What I am trying to say is you are DEAD to me if you falsly accuse me! 😡

Yeah I feel like this is a normal reaction. I have no need to keep liars in my life.

Trying to wrap my head around the reasoning there...

click to expand

I am glad I could help. 🙂

Helping is one of my quality hobbies on Monday nights.

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by enfant_terrible

It's someone who has a good heart deep down but is also dealing with shit that makes her say and do things impulsively only to regret it during those periodic moments of clarity - it'd be someone whose wellbeing I genuinly care about that I feel like I refuse to just throw her out to the wolves like most people in her life have done that she thought were her friends.

Taking any sexual or romantic feelings out of the equation btw.

so you can psychologically gaslight her later

click to expand

Gaslight her how exactly?

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by enfant_terrible

It's someone who has a good heart deep down but is also dealing with shit that makes her say and do things impulsively only to regret it during those periodic moments of clarity - it'd be someone whose wellbeing I genuinly care about that I feel like I refuse to just throw her out to the wolves like most people in her life have done that she thought were her friends.

Taking any sexual or romantic feelings out of the equation btw.

so you can psychologically gaslight her later

Gaslight her how exactly?

I don't know I get predatorial vibes from you. As If you like to inflict pain in subtle ways

click to expand

Nothing subtle about my jabs.

So let me get this straight, you don't know how one would go about to gaslight a person in the given scenario but you figure I'd do it... somehow?

Have you ever had unconditional empathy towards someone who's not a family member and from whom you seek nothing in return but just that they get better?

I don't expect you to understand where it comes from though, after all you're a woman, as Emhendo lovingly put it the other day, y'all just sort of "monkey-branch" your way through life and feelings without any genuine depth.

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by enfant_terrible

It's someone who has a good heart deep down but is also dealing with shit that makes her say and do things impulsively only to regret it during those periodic moments of clarity - it'd be someone whose wellbeing I genuinly care about that I feel like I refuse to just throw her out to the wolves like most people in her life have done that she thought were her friends.

Taking any sexual or romantic feelings out of the equation btw.

so you can psychologically gaslight her later

Gaslight her how exactly?

I don't know I get predatorial vibes from you. As If you like to inflict pain in subtle ways

Nothing subtle about my jabs.

So let me get this straight, you don't know how one would go about to gaslight a person in the given scenario but you figure I'd do it... somehow?

Have you ever had unconditional empathy towards someone who's not a family member and from whom you seek nothing in return but just that they get better?

I don't expect you to understand where it comes from though, after all you're a woman, as Emhendo lovingly put it the other day, y'all just sort of "monkey-branch" your way through life and feelings without any genuine depth.

I wanted to quote this before you hid it...WOW

any bodies in the forests yet?

click to expand

What's there to hide?

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by enfant_terrible

It's someone who has a good heart deep down but is also dealing with shit that makes her say and do things impulsively only to regret it during those periodic moments of clarity - it'd be someone whose wellbeing I genuinly care about that I feel like I refuse to just throw her out to the wolves like most people in her life have done that she thought were her friends.

Taking any sexual or romantic feelings out of the equation btw.

so you can psychologically gaslight her later

Gaslight her how exactly?

I don't know I get predatorial vibes from you. As If you like to inflict pain in subtle ways

Nothing subtle about my jabs.

So let me get this straight, you don't know how one would go about to gaslight a person in the given scenario but you figure I'd do it... somehow?

Have you ever had unconditional empathy towards someone who's not a family member and from whom you seek nothing in return but just that they get better?

I don't expect you to understand where it comes from though, after all you're a woman, as Emhendo lovingly put it the other day, y'all just sort of "monkey-branch" your way through life and feelings without any genuine depth.

click to expand

"I don't expect you to understand, after all your a woman"

I can feel your great unconditional empathy from all the way over here. Way to go.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by enfant_terrible

It's someone who has a good heart deep down but is also dealing with shit that makes her say and do things impulsively only to regret it during those periodic moments of clarity - it'd be someone whose wellbeing I genuinly care about that I feel like I refuse to just throw her out to the wolves like most people in her life have done that she thought were her friends.

Taking any sexual or romantic feelings out of the equation btw.

so you can psychologically gaslight her later

Gaslight her how exactly?

I don't know I get predatorial vibes from you. As If you like to inflict pain in subtle ways

Nothing subtle about my jabs.

So let me get this straight, you don't know how one would go about to gaslight a person in the given scenario but you figure I'd do it... somehow?

Have you ever had unconditional empathy towards someone who's not a family member and from whom you seek nothing in return but just that they get better?

I don't expect you to understand where it comes from though, after all you're a woman, as Emhendo lovingly put it the other day, y'all just sort of "monkey-branch" your way through life and feelings without any genuine depth.

"I don't expect you to understand, after all your a woman"

I can feel your great unconditional empathy from all the way over here. Way to go.

click to expand

Wow, this post is just chock-full of sarcasm.

Posted by themagnetoreborn

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by enfant_terrible

It's someone who has a good heart deep down but is also dealing with shit that makes her say and do things impulsively only to regret it during those periodic moments of clarity - it'd be someone whose wellbeing I genuinly care about that I feel like I refuse to just throw her out to the wolves like most people in her life have done that she thought were her friends.

Taking any sexual or romantic feelings out of the equation btw.

so you can psychologically gaslight her later

Gaslight her how exactly?

I don't know I get predatorial vibes from you. As If you like to inflict pain in subtle ways

Nothing subtle about my jabs.

So let me get this straight, you don't know how one would go about to gaslight a person in the given scenario but you figure I'd do it... somehow?

Have you ever had unconditional empathy towards someone who's not a family member and from whom you seek nothing in return but just that they get better?

I don't expect you to understand where it comes from though, after all you're a woman, as Emhendo lovingly put it the other day, y'all just sort of "monkey-branch" your way through life and feelings without any genuine depth.

"I don't expect you to understand, after all your a woman"

I can feel your great unconditional empathy from all the way over here. Way to go.

Wow, this post is just chock-full of sarcasm.

click to expand

Yes sarcasm is my number 1 facebook friend too.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by enfant_terrible

It's someone who has a good heart deep down but is also dealing with shit that makes her say and do things impulsively only to regret it during those periodic moments of clarity - it'd be someone whose wellbeing I genuinly care about that I feel like I refuse to just throw her out to the wolves like most people in her life have done that she thought were her friends.

Taking any sexual or romantic feelings out of the equation btw.

so you can psychologically gaslight her later

Gaslight her how exactly?

I don't know I get predatorial vibes from you. As If you like to inflict pain in subtle ways

Nothing subtle about my jabs.

So let me get this straight, you don't know how one would go about to gaslight a person in the given scenario but you figure I'd do it... somehow?

Have you ever had unconditional empathy towards someone who's not a family member and from whom you seek nothing in return but just that they get better?

I don't expect you to understand where it comes from though, after all you're a woman, as Emhendo lovingly put it the other day, y'all just sort of "monkey-branch" your way through life and feelings without any genuine depth.

I can feel your great unconditional empathy from all the way over here. Way to go.

click to expand

This is what the emotional phonies don't get though. Just bc I feel that way about one person or a special few - doesn't mean I feel that way about people in general. In fact being capable of such empathy I am surprisingly uneffected by suffering of the faceless others. I'm not sure if I'm unique in that or if that's how most ppl are but are taught to act out sympathy at cues and even believe it themselves.. so they can feel good about themselves as the monkey-branch their way to other business.

I waste no energy at phony displays of emotions. I accept I am unconditionally empathetic towards a few and pretty much a psychopath towards the rest of humanity

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by enfant_terrible

It's someone who has a good heart deep down but is also dealing with shit that makes her say and do things impulsively only to regret it during those periodic moments of clarity - it'd be someone whose wellbeing I genuinly care about that I feel like I refuse to just throw her out to the wolves like most people in her life have done that she thought were her friends.

Taking any sexual or romantic feelings out of the equation btw.

so you can psychologically gaslight her later

Gaslight her how exactly?

I don't know I get predatorial vibes from you. As If you like to inflict pain in subtle ways

Nothing subtle about my jabs.

So let me get this straight, you don't know how one would go about to gaslight a person in the given scenario but you figure I'd do it... somehow?

Have you ever had unconditional empathy towards someone who's not a family member and from whom you seek nothing in return but just that they get better?

I don't expect you to understand where it comes from though, after all you're a woman, as Emhendo lovingly put it the other day, y'all just sort of "monkey-branch" your way through life and feelings without any genuine depth.

I can feel your great unconditional empathy from all the way over here. Way to go.

This is what the emotional phonies don't get though. Just bc I feel that way about one person or a special few - doesn't mean I feel that way about people in general. In fact being capable of such empathy I am surprisingly uneffected by suffering of the faceless others. I'm not sure if I'm unique in that or if that's how most ppl are but are taught to act out sympathy at cues and even believe it themselves.. so they can feel good about themselves as the monkey-branch their way to other business.

I waste no energy at phony displays of emotions. I accept I am unconditionally empathetic towards a few and pretty much a psychopath towards the rest of humanity

click to expand

So let me see if I follow...

Feels empathy towards the liar who tried to tarnish your reputation by calling you a sexual predator.

Feels zero empathy towards everyone else.

Dude. You've got issues.

"Keep your friends close, your enemies closer."

Posted by tiziani

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by enfant_terrible

It's someone who has a good heart deep down but is also dealing with shit that makes her say and do things impulsively only to regret it during those periodic moments of clarity - it'd be someone whose wellbeing I genuinly care about that I feel like I refuse to just throw her out to the wolves like most people in her life have done that she thought were her friends.

Taking any sexual or romantic feelings out of the equation btw.

so you can psychologically gaslight her later

Gaslight her how exactly?

I don't know I get predatorial vibes from you. As If you like to inflict pain in subtle ways

Nothing subtle about my jabs.

So let me get this straight, you don't know how one would go about to gaslight a person in the given scenario but you figure I'd do it... somehow?

Have you ever had unconditional empathy towards someone who's not a family member and from whom you seek nothing in return but just that they get better?

I don't expect you to understand where it comes from though, after all you're a woman, as Emhendo lovingly put it the other day, y'all just sort of "monkey-branch" your way through life and feelings without any genuine depth.

I can feel your great unconditional empathy from all the way over here. Way to go.

This is what the emotional phonies don't get though. Just bc I feel that way about one person or a special few - doesn't mean I feel that way about people in general. In fact being capable of such empathy I am surprisingly uneffected by suffering of the faceless others. I'm not sure if I'm unique in that or if that's how most ppl are but are taught to act out sympathy at cues and even believe it themselves.. so they can feel good about themselves as the monkey-branch their way to other business.

I waste no energy at phony displays of emotions. I accept I am unconditionally empathetic towards a few and pretty much a psychopath towards the rest of humanity

So let me see if I follow...

Feels empathy towards the liar who tried to tarnish your reputation by calling you a sexual predator.

Feels zero empathy towards everything else.

Dude. You've got issues.

I'm actually struggling to understand how that does not make sense to you or anyone else.

click to expand

Yeah, I'm not getting.

Someone who tries to destroy you is not worthy of empathy.

Posted by LadyNeptune

So let me see if I follow...

Feels empathy towards the liar who tried to tarnish your reputation by calling you a sexual predator.

Feels zero empathy towards everything else.

Dude. You've got issues. 

Boy you are really trying not to understand what I'm saying. Go back and read again. I don't think I could have been more detailed but here it is again for passive aggressive dummies with an agenda..

A person whom I care deeply for and who's down and out - no further speculation needed - yes I'd put my pride and ego aside bc it's not about me. Maybe she's easily triggered emotionally, that in combination with being an addict, or having severe letter combination(s), etc. will make people do and say shit they regret. They may also have a hard time asking for forgiveness.

I'm just speculating based on my own experiences minus false rape accusations. I don't know Soul's chick or what she's about. Js I'm not above being above it. Get over it

 

Posted by tiziani

That being said, I've not been in this situation so it's all me guessing. Maybe in reality I'd get real petty.

See I don’t see blocking someone from a social media platform as petty.

Petty is what they did by making false accusations. Keeping them in your feed is just toxic af for yourself and them.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Yeah, I'm not getting.

Someone who tries to destroy you is not worthy of empathy.

How about someone who's on the path of self destruction, hence their behaviour? I manage myself. They can barely live with themselves. Hardly basic mean cun t material imo

And empathy isn't something you turn on and off anyway you please. Why is it only reserved for your hypothetical kids in its unconditional form..? you're basically saying you are incapable to love anyone else for who they are beyond all the ways the world can break down a person, unless they share your bloodline. If even that at times (back to faking appropriate emotions on cue).

Anywho that's pretty superficial

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by tiziani

That being said, I've not been in this situation so it's all me guessing. Maybe in reality I'd get real petty.

See I don’t see blocking someone from a social media platform as petty.

Petty is what they did by making false accusations. Keeping them in your feed is just toxic af for yourself and them.

click to expand

Because it's petty I don't see why react so strongly as to giving up on them when they're obviously already down. That'd be kinda petty

Posted by tiziani

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by tiziani

That being said, I've not been in this situation so it's all me guessing. Maybe in reality I'd get real petty.

See I don’t see blocking someone from a social media platform as petty.

Petty is what they did by making false accusations. Keeping them in your feed is just toxic af for yourself and them.

"Petty is what they did by making false accusations."

I agree there which is exactly why it's not worth defending myself against it in the first place.

They can't ruin my rep with something petty. And if they could, it wasn't a rep having in the first place and they did me a favour.

That's why I agree with enfant I'd rather show compassion to them, than show compassion to a thousand randos in the world who might "love" me today then in 5 seconds believe some nonsense about me tomorrow.

click to expand

Yes.

But why continue to keep them on your friends list? What’s the motivation there.

Posted by tiziani

I think you would be good for handling the public eye, a public-facing role or fame. You get it, you wouldn't lose yourself to it.

I shall take that into serious consideration

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by LadyNeptune

Yeah, I'm not getting.

Someone who tries to destroy you is not worthy of empathy.

How about someone who's on the path of self destruction, hence their behaviour? I manage myself. They can barely live with themselves. Hardly basic mean cun t material imo

And empathy isn't something you turn on and off anyway you please. Why is it only reserved for your hypothetical kids in its unconditional form..? you're basically saying you are incapable to love anyone else for who they are beyond all the ways the world can break down a person, unless they share your bloodline. If even that at times (back to faking appropriate emotions on cue).

Anywho that's pretty superficial

click to expand

I never said anything about kids. Or myself really.

I’m asking the questions here.

Posted by seraph

They probably wouldn’t have an easy means for Facebook in the first place, after paying damages and costs from my Defamation of Character suit.

But would you friend them/accept their friend request?

Posted by LadyNeptune

I never said anything about kids. Or myself really.

I’m asking the questions here.

You said how you feel about it

Posted by halalbae

Unconditional love/empathy without accountability is enabling and accountability without unconditional love/empathy is being judgmental

Either way, loving without boundaries against all forms of abuse is destructive. Youre hindering their growth to stroke your own ego

* I agree but this isn't that thing. And I don't have ppl in my life for the purpose of personal growth.

* Unconditional in that I don't put any conditions on my caring. I care regardless. What you are talking about are my actions and how they may enable them. So what are my actions? That I don't shut them out. That's about it.

* Some people will struggle with their issues all their lives regardless of who's by their side or what they do. Enabling is not even part of the equation. You mean to say these people don't deserve my engagement or anyone else's... on general principle?

* They are in my life bc I consider them friends, not projects or charity cases. No ego. We are equals with different history and/or backgrounds

There is a reason for everything. At least for those who believe in it. Some kind of lesson or moral to take from things. People always have two paths they can take. People also can’t always answer why they took the path they did though. Fate just ended up that way. For me I feel it was for that one moment leading up to the point we could both talk about it, and finally get past it. Two people holing in regret and bad memories finally being able to overcome it. In life you will never make it running from your demons and your past. You have face them, then move forward. I can only imagine what would happen if I took the 2nd path, and banished her from my life completely. It would be two people with a permanent demon. A bad memory they have to run away from all through life. I think I somehow I subconsciously knew this.

Posted by halalbae

I mean holding them accountable for their actions so that they wont further self destruct. One of the main goals/benefits of a relationship is accountability.

Absolutely. I suppose it depends on the situation and the nature of relationship you're talking about.

I feel everyone's painting with very broad strokes here supposedly talking about Soul's situation but really venting about their own experiences, myself included lol

On the subject of enabling, totally unrelated to the thread topic...

Say I have this friend, she works but due to her financial situation, she's a recovering addict (gambling), she's only allowed to keep a small portion of her salary while the rest goes to pay off her debts. Say she has ppl she owes money from back in the days that she needs to pay ASIDE from what's deducted from her salary. This leaves her on a monthly food budget of $ 50. Some months barely that.

She goes to therapy every week, manages her work, doesn't gamble and couldn't even if she wanted to. She's just one of those people who's happened to fall through the cracks in a society that supposedly takes care of their weakest.

Say we go grocery shopping every week ,nothing fancy just the basic of basics, I don't even want or expect the money back bc she wouldn't be able to pay me back until like 10 years from now so whatever, I can spare it. 

What am I enabling by getting her a few  groceries she can't afford at this point in life? What options does she have? I am her option because I care. It'd be easy to turn my back on her if I didn't care like most of her "friends". They just sort of shut off and figure food will magically appear on her kitchen table; they don't want to hear about it. Yeah sorry but I just can't eat my fancy steak day in and day out knowing this one person I love can barely afford a bag of noodles.

Sometimes this example applies to those situations where you supposedly ARE enabling a person. Not everyone is cut out to get much better. Ever. So do you shut them out on general principle?  Because not shutting them out is by definition enabling? Even if you care?

Or do you accept them for how they are, with the grief and joy they bring to your life as friendship goes, and if there ever is a day when you get that call about them jumping in front a train, you'll know that somehow they still felt there was at least one person who felt they mattered. A false rape accusation by that person made on some whim while in an unstable place, suddenly feels like nothing in comparison. Water under the fucking bridge. Easy.