Ladies...would you ever Fight for a man, to make him Yours? (Page 2)

Posted by LadyNeptune

Op’s theme song

Hahaha!

Even though you are taking the piss out of me, at least I can laugh x

Posted by peachy06

No but fighting for a Pisces, are you serious OP ? 😂

Anyways, it would depend. Fighting for someone indecisive, or who's already with someone else ? No.

If I think he's worthy, yes but it has to go both ways, if he's passive I won't do anything.

He always chased me so much but it was all emotional which I loved.

When it came down to the nitty-gritty eg the practicalities of getting together properly, it was my job.

Which I didn't mind. BUT sadly he wanted me to wreck my entire life for him, just for him to move out of her house and into mine.

I just didn't want to get used by him.

This is why i suggested we rent together. Then we are both taking responsibility for our rship, rather than just me.

Posted by MyStarsShine

Does he have children?

(Sorry if I missed that)

Yes but he is 21 and at university.

Its me that has a child. 7yrs old.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by pooface222

.....he lives in Her house.

So..

What he was trying to do, was get me to leave my husband, family,home, life and security FIRST, while he moves out of Her house, into Mine - after Divorce.

Bear in mind that She (the partner), left her husband, family, home, life and security, for Him to move in to her house, after Divorce.

...I suggested we Rent together so we BOTH leave our partners at the same tome.

But he said "I don't want to rent."

Yeah because he didn't want to pay out any money to be with me...

Basically he was trying to keep his cash for himself - like he did with his partner - while I subsidise Him!

Jesus. And this is the man you want to fight over? Man can't even open his bank account for you and has you convinced it's because you made him feel insecure about your motives/intentions to be with him lol. Ooooh lawd, I can't.

Sorry, what traits are "compatible" with a dead beat, freeloader and that manipulates people emotionally? I'm curious because you said you had mad chemistry and were so compatible inside and out of the bedroom. You clearly have the ability to see what he is doing, yet..... And they say fixed signs are stubborn as f*ck.

click to expand

I'm really glad you said that.

You see I too think he is a freeloading manipulating user.

But yes we do have insane chemistry away from his bad side.

Everyone has good and bad in them. Sadly though his bad is BAD!

Posted by Tetka_Iz_Daleka

you´ve already lost this battle ....

Is it really a battle though? Girlfriend is relaxing on a couch somewhere, minding her own business eating chilli fries, while the Cap is gearing up to fight.

Posted by pooface222

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by pooface222

.....he lives in Her house.

So..

What he was trying to do, was get me to leave my husband, family,home, life and security FIRST, while he moves out of Her house, into Mine - after Divorce.

Bear in mind that She (the partner), left her husband, family, home, life and security, for Him to move in to her house, after Divorce.

...I suggested we Rent together so we BOTH leave our partners at the same tome.

But he said "I don't want to rent."

Yeah because he didn't want to pay out any money to be with me...

Basically he was trying to keep his cash for himself - like he did with his partner - while I subsidise Him!

Jesus. And this is the man you want to fight over? Man can't even open his bank account for you and has you convinced it's because you made him feel insecure about your motives/intentions to be with him lol. Ooooh lawd, I can't.

Sorry, what traits are "compatible" with a dead beat, freeloader and that manipulates people emotionally? I'm curious because you said you had mad chemistry and were so compatible inside and out of the bedroom. You clearly have the ability to see what he is doing, yet..... And they say fixed signs are stubborn as f*ck.

I'm really glad you said that.

You see I too think he is a freeloading manipulating user.

But yes we do have insane chemistry away from his bad side.

Everyone has good and bad in them. Sadly though his bad is BAD!

click to expand

Fair enough. Perhaps you need to take a step back, just to reflect and get sorted, without him whispering (literally) sweet nothings in your ear. You may get a better take on things.

Posted by pooface222

Posted by PuzzlePieces

No. It’s not going to happen unless he wants to leave. Being scared to leave = not leaving ever.

You leave when it’s harder to stay than it is to leave.

Fighting for something like this is not a good idea. It’s more like banging your head against a wall. My opinion is you give a person an opportunity & then it’s up to them. You go live your life & if they truly want you they will make themselves available. Otherwise they don’t truly want you. Actions not words..

Exactly!

And for me, it was harder to stay than it was to leave.

My Aries husband would scream at me with his Control because I refused to obey him. I'm not a goddamn doormat!

And when he was not behaving like that,I got silent treatment, refusing sex, affection and conversations.

Then telling me he Loves me!

It SCRWED with my head & heart!

The Pisces guy talked to me, shared himself, connected himself to me. And I to him. And he got to know me in ways my husband never ever even came close to at all.

So I craved the Pisces as could no longer bear the cold empty harsh pain of mycontrplling husband!

click to expand

You might not see it but you are on the same cycle with Pisces as you were with your husband.

You are ignored, you are controlled, you are a doormat, and worse you are a mistress!!

Posted by LadyNeptune

Why are you making it seem like he is trapped at her house and doesn’t have the financial security to rent with you? Doesn’t he own his own home separate from her where his son is living.

If he wanted to be with you he would leave her, move you and your child into his house and be a Brady bunch family together.

Your love for him keeps you making excuses for why he hasn’t chosen you when you’ve chosen him again and again.

Its because his house where his son lives is an Hour and a Half drive away. Plus as his son is studying, he also has a flatmate living there too. His son chose the flatmate because she is on his course. So the son and flatmate are basically paying for Pisces guys mortgage, while he lives for almost free in his partners house.!

We couldn't go and live together in His house, because my childs school is here and my ex-husband would never allow it!

Posted by pooface222

Posted by LadyNeptune

Why are you making it seem like he is trapped at her house and doesn’t have the financial security to rent with you? Doesn’t he own his own home separate from her where his son is living.

If he wanted to be with you he would leave her, move you and your child into his house and be a Brady bunch family together.

Your love for him keeps you making excuses for why he hasn’t chosen you when you’ve chosen him again and again.

Its because his house where his son lives is an Hour and a Half drive away. Plus as his son is studying, he also has a flatmate living there too. His son chose the flatmate because she is on his course. So the son and flatmate are basically paying for Pisces guys mortgage, while he lives for almost free in his partners house.!

We couldn't go and live together in His house, because my childs school is here and my ex-husband would never allow it!

click to expand

Students paying for a grown man’s mortgage? Why?

Posted by pooface222

Posted by LadyNeptune

Why are you making it seem like he is trapped at her house and doesn’t have the financial security to rent with you? Doesn’t he own his own home separate from her where his son is living.

If he wanted to be with you he would leave her, move you and your child into his house and be a Brady bunch family together.

Your love for him keeps you making excuses for why he hasn’t chosen you when you’ve chosen him again and again.

Its because his house where his son lives is an Hour and a Half drive away. Plus as his son is studying, he also has a flatmate living there too. His son chose the flatmate because she is on his course. So the son and flatmate are basically paying for Pisces guys mortgage, while he lives for almost free in his partners house.!

We couldn't go and live together in His house, because my childs school is here and my ex-husband would never allow it!

click to expand

This sounds like more excuses you are making for him.

He doesn’t need to live with you to be with you. But he can’t be with you (in the way you want) when he lives with his current gf.

Did he ever even offer for you to move there with your child? He loves you right, and is miserable with his current gf.

So why is he still living with her when he has a whole ass house he could go stay at. Bonus points, he’d be with his grown son.

But nope. He continues to live with her. He probably likes living with her and loves her quite a lot.

This dude has a history of cheating on his significant other. Him slinging his dick to you here and there and giving just enough emotional bread crumbs to keep you hooked is not anything out of the ordinary for his normal m.o.

My point is his ho-ish behavior is not because you are special and the connection is fire. If it wasn’t you, it would be another woman. And most likely there is another woman or several.

If you want to “keep” him then come to terms with the fact that this is as good as it gets. If you can accept the side chick life I doubt he will ever kick you to the curb.

Posted by pooface222

Its because his house where his son lives is an Hour and a Half drive away. Plus as his son is studying, he also has a flatmate living there too. His son chose the flatmate because she is on his course. So the son and flatmate are basically paying for Pisces guys mortgage, while he lives for almost free in his partners house.!...

It just keeps getting better and better....

It’ll never be enough with some men—and Pisces men at that. It doesn’t matter what you do or how secure you think you are making him feel, it’s an inherent problem in himself and only he is going to be able to do something about it. And I’ve found most people don’t have the backbone for internal work.

Posted by AbbyNormal

It’ll never be enough with some men—and Pisces men at that. It doesn’t matter what you do or how secure you think you are making him feel, it’s an inherent problem in himself and only he is going to be able to do something about it. And I’ve found most people don’t have the backbone for internal work.

He definitely doesn’t have a backbone

Flakey as hell

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by Tetka_Iz_Daleka

you´ve already lost this battle ....

Is it really a battle though? Girlfriend is relaxing on a couch somewhere, minding her own business eating chilli fries, while the Cap is gearing up to fight.

click to expand

I don't mean fight with Her (the partner), and I don't mean fight literally as in a punch-up! I said this in my original post!

I mean fight as in prove to HIM that he should leave her and be with me!

Push him to leave her!

Because what I have actually done is Allow him to see me in secret, but Not push him to leave her OR even show him how much I want him!

I've just behaved like I wanted an affair with him - which I didnt. I wanted a proper relationship - because I never got upset or angry with him that he's not leaving her.

Maybe its my Capricorn practicality in telling him we should move in together and rent that perhaps made him feel that i don't care much for him. Not showing my feelings of upset or hurt. Just getting stuff done.

Don't know though!

Its probably too late now anyway.

We met 7 F**king years ago!!!!

5yrs ago I was on here for the first time confused as hell after 2yrs and trying to find out why he was not leaving his partner.

It took me a long time to realise it was all about MONEY!

I'd have to subsidise HIM with his full-time wage while I struggle as a single mum.

Even THIS year, he actually said to me..on the phone..

"Its well and truly over between me and her. We're going in different directions and we have different interests."

See?

This is why I Don't let go. He makes it so hard. I'm very in love with him.

And Yes. I'm a FOOL!

A LOVEFOOL!

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by pooface222

Posted by PuzzlePieces

No. It’s not going to happen unless he wants to leave. Being scared to leave = not leaving ever.

You leave when it’s harder to stay than it is to leave.

Fighting for something like this is not a good idea. It’s more like banging your head against a wall. My opinion is you give a person an opportunity & then it’s up to them. You go live your life & if they truly want you they will make themselves available. Otherwise they don’t truly want you. Actions not words..

Exactly!

And for me, it was harder to stay than it was to leave.

My Aries husband would scream at me with his Control because I refused to obey him. I'm not a goddamn doormat!

And when he was not behaving like that,I got silent treatment, refusing sex, affection and conversations.

Then telling me he Loves me!

It SCRWED with my head & heart!

The Pisces guy talked to me, shared himself, connected himself to me. And I to him. And he got to know me in ways my husband never ever even came close to at all.

So I craved the Pisces as could no longer bear the cold empty harsh pain of mycontrplling husband!

You might not see it but you are on the same cycle with Pisces as you were with your husband.

You are ignored, you are controlled, you are a doormat, and worse you are a mistress!!

click to expand

Ironically I CAN see it!

NOW!

Its taken me until This Year to finally realise, that the Pisces guy is doing the same to me as my Aries husband!

And Yes. Its Worse!

PISCES is Worse!

His control is Passive! Hence why I never truly noticed until this year. I just had this feeling that something is Not Right!

My Aries husband- in true Aries style - is Aggressive.

But at least by being Aggressive, it meant he was upfront about what he wanted. He never hid it. So I always knew where I stood with him!

With Pisces, his control was so Passive, I was constantly confused by him, and blinded to the fact that he just wanted to use me financially by manipulating me into leaving my husband, for his own financial and personal gain!

no but i bought the cancer a new phone

it's samsung so we can match 💕💕

i hate fighting 😤😫

Posted by Truemara

Posted by ScorpArie

So, I am not going to sit here and tell you what other people are telling you.

I am going to talk to you as a scorpio woman to a capricorn woman. I have a lot of experience with Pisces men. I did not fight for them nor steal them, per se... They naturally fell in love with me.

One kept it a secret that he had a girlfriend. Every night I would see him (with no girlfriend). This means he was not in love with his girlfriend, because they are very clingy in love. We got together and when I found out about the other girl, I ran... But he asked me why didn't I fight for him, because he didn't want to be with her anymore. Pisces men will stay with their other half out of duty, not wanting to hurt the other party, and wanting to remain the good guy. But if someone they are more compatible with shows up, he'll drop her like a hot potato.

I'll give you two more examples...

My baby daddy is a Pisces and he left his country and his wife behind to start a new life out here. Out of obligation they would still speak, but when he met me he cut her off! We were glued at the hip/ inseparable for years, but he started to loose his mind with possessiveness and started to hit me... that's not love, so I took our baby and disappeared.

My current boyfriend is a Pisces and we have been friends for 16 years, before we recently started dating. He always had a crush on me, but for me it was just platonic for the 16 years, plus, he had a girlfriend that I was friends with. About a year into our friendships the girlfriend recognized the signs that he loved me more than her, because of the way he was treating me and I decided to retreat and stop being friends with the both of them, but then I ran into the Pisces by himself and he convinced me to start speaking to him again, so we did speak as friends for 15 years and he would tell me he liked me, but I was always in some other relationship and I respected his girlfriend too much and I just didn't see the potential. Eventually, (recently), I started returning his flirtations and telling him I loved him... Guess what? He kicked his girlfriend out of his house immediately. We're planning on getting married...

Bottom line, the common denominator I had with all these guys (not just these three Pisces men), is that I was not aggressive, I was genuinely sweet, funny, caring, charming, and loving. I appreciated for who they were... There was no game plan. I was just naturally kind and they were drawn to the connection they had with me. Pisces men do not like to be controlled; therefore, if you are pursuing him intentionally, he WILL sense it and he won't like the idea of being with someone like that. It has to unfold naturally, like destiny.

I find another man who needs another woman to leave an already bad one a pussy.

click to expand

So are you saying his partner is bad too?

"to leave an already bad one.."

She threw away her entire family for the Pisces. She even lost her teenage daughter who refused to speak to her again when she left for the Pisces.

Posted by goldenfish

Fight with whom? With him yes, I could, with her (his partner) - no.

Fight for Him, to His face. In person.

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by pooface222

Posted by PuzzlePieces

No. It’s not going to happen unless he wants to leave. Being scared to leave = not leaving ever.

You leave when it’s harder to stay than it is to leave.

Fighting for something like this is not a good idea. It’s more like banging your head against a wall. My opinion is you give a person an opportunity & then it’s up to them. You go live your life & if they truly want you they will make themselves available. Otherwise they don’t truly want you. Actions not words..

Exactly!

And for me, it was harder to stay than it was to leave.

My Aries husband would scream at me with his Control because I refused to obey him. I'm not a goddamn doormat!

And when he was not behaving like that,I got silent treatment, refusing sex, affection and conversations.

Then telling me he Loves me!

It SCRWED with my head & heart!

The Pisces guy talked to me, shared himself, connected himself to me. And I to him. And he got to know me in ways my husband never ever even came close to at all.

So I craved the Pisces as could no longer bear the cold empty harsh pain of mycontrplling husband!

I get it. I had one of these & he was a miracle for me after my divorce. But truth is when you’re ready, you will let go & accept someone who is available and not unavailable. Someone who treats you more like the Pisces does. It’s a learning experience & he has shown you that there are guys who will treat you well. But, most likely he can’t be that guy for you. Not fully. It’s hard to accept, but part of your growth process. Hugs ❤️

click to expand

Thanks so much ❤

Posted by _elle_

Posted by pooface222

Posted by nanobotz

You actually sound extremely delusional. If he felt the same way about you and he felt like you were worth it too - he wouldn’t be with another woman right now.

He was with her when we met.

They were already in a long-term rship together.

And..he lives in Her house.

So..

What he was trying to do, was get me to leave my husband, family,home, life and security FIRST, while he moves out of Her house, into Mine - after Divorce.

Bear in mind that She (the partner), left her husband, family, home, life and security, for Him to move in to her house, after Divorce.

But..

Because I wasn't leaving my partner FIRST, before he left his partner, he got insecure, and waited More until I left First.

I mean sh*t!

What guarantee did I have that he will even leave her!? None!

So i suggested we Rent together so we BOTH leave our partners at the same tome.

But he said "I don't want to rent."

Yeah because he didn't want to pay out any money to be with me.

I was expected to give up everything for him, to put a roof over his head - just like his partner did - yet he won't pay out a small amount of money on rent Just to start our life together.!?

Basically he was trying to keep his cash for himself - like he did with his partner - while I subsidise Him!

He even used to call me to moan about his partner to me and he would literally say..

"My partner picks fights with me about Money!"

Err well Yeaahh!

She put a roof over his head and gave him security and a life while he keeps all his cash for himself.

Then he wanted the same deal with me.!

Life is Not a Free Ride!

Doesn't this answer everything for you?

click to expand

Yes. Weirdly..it does.

But long-term I wanted him to sort his life out even if it took a few years.

Then we could be together.

Sadly its all been a HUGE waste of Time.

And energy and caused a whole load of heartbreak!

To “convince” a man I’m a better choice? No. There is no choice.

I’m Top 2 and not 2.

^^ no but fr aren’t caps supposed to be more… non delusional? Lemme write this down

Get ✍🏽Pisces to ✍🏽break Capricorns ✍🏽heart for all of the ✍🏽disrespek done ✍🏽to Virgos ✍🏽

Got it!

You don't have to think of it as a waste of time.

You've seen his true character and discovered a pattern within yourself.

But for the love of god, don't waste your future on it

When coming out of a lt relationship, people can be vulnerable and optimistic. The possibility of ultimate happiness goes hand in hand with a new sense of freedom.

Did your ex Aries stay single long or remarry quickly?

Male pisces stumbling onto this thread:

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by MyStarsShine

....I can’t be with a man I’d lose respect for

Lose? This man would never have earned my respect with this type of BS.

Yes indeed

He doesn’t sound like he has a backbone and the fact he can’t make his mind up would prove to be a huge turn off for me 😏

After reading the rest, I don't think his lack of backbone is the issue. He actually has quite the nerve and skill to try to get not one, but two woman taking care of his grown a**. He may be breaking down the OP if she's willing to fight for him when he's offered her no more than words and an ear/shoulder to cry on. Jokes on him Caps don't part with money easily. That was his downfall lol.

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I LOVE that you said that!

"Jokes on Him....etc"

That's exactly why I wasn't leaving my husband. I felt Pisces was trying to use me financially. It scared me. I could see he was manipulating me!

Even his ex-wife (I contacted her 2yrs ago), told me "He is fragile. But he is Very Smart!"

As much as I love him, I wish I'd stayed away back then and just fixed my marriage.

Posted by Sunsetvirgo

^^ no but fr aren’t caps supposed to be more… non delusional? Lemme write this down

Get ✍🏽Pisces to ✍🏽break Capricorns ✍🏽heart for all of the ✍🏽disrespek done ✍🏽to Virgos ✍🏽

Got it!

my cap ex got cheated on by a pisces after like 10/11 years together. he can't get over how she traded him for someone 'ugly' in comparison. lmao so shallow that he thinks women will overlook years of distance, drunken night outs, overworking and constant neglect.

Posted by pooface222

Posted by nanobotz

You actually sound extremely delusional. If he felt the same way about you and he felt like you were worth it too - he wouldn’t be with another woman right now.

He was with her when we met.

They were already in a long-term rship together.

And..he lives in Her house.

So..

What he was trying to do, was get me to leave my husband, family,home, life and security FIRST, while he moves out of Her house, into Mine - after Divorce.

Bear in mind that She (the partner), left her husband, family, home, life and security, for Him to move in to her house, after Divorce.

But..

Because I wasn't leaving my partner FIRST, before he left his partner, he got insecure, and waited More until I left First.

I mean sh*t!

What guarantee did I have that he will even leave her!? None!

So i suggested we Rent together so we BOTH leave our partners at the same tome.

But he said "I don't want to rent."

Yeah because he didn't want to pay out any money to be with me.

I was expected to give up everything for him, to put a roof over his head - just like his partner did - yet he won't pay out a small amount of money on rent Just to start our life together.!?

Basically he was trying to keep his cash for himself - like he did with his partner - while I subsidise Him!

He even used to call me to moan about his partner to me and he would literally say..

"My partner picks fights with me about Money!"

Err well Yeaahh!

She put a roof over his head and gave him security and a life while he keeps all his cash for himself.

Then he wanted the same deal with me.!

Life is Not a Free Ride!

click to expand

He doesn’t love you he wants to use you. Why isn’t this enough to run far away. Also look how he is treating the woman before you, that’s his shitty character. Why do you want him? He doesn’t sound like he has any likeable qualities.

Regardless of circumstance... Its a hard ask to ask someone to change who they are after 7 years. 7 years where you accepted them as they are.

Posted by pooface222

Posted by goldenfish

Fight with whom? With him yes, I could, with her (his partner) - no.

Fight for Him, to His face. In person.

click to expand

I think you are just upset over the situationship with Cancer. Do not fight for Pieces, it is a bad idea. Try to get over all this.

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by pooface222

Posted by nanobotz

You actually sound extremely delusional. If he felt the same way about you and he felt like you were worth it too - he wouldn’t be with another woman right now.

He was with her when we met.

They were already in a long-term rship together.

And..he lives in Her house.

So..

What he was trying to do, was get me to leave my husband, family,home, life and security FIRST, while he moves out of Her house, into Mine - after Divorce.

Bear in mind that She (the partner), left her husband, family, home, life and security, for Him to move in to her house, after Divorce.

But..

Because I wasn't leaving my partner FIRST, before he left his partner, he got insecure, and waited More until I left First.

I mean sh*t!

What guarantee did I have that he will even leave her!? None!

So i suggested we Rent together so we BOTH leave our partners at the same tome.

But he said "I don't want to rent."

Yeah because he didn't want to pay out any money to be with me.

I was expected to give up everything for him, to put a roof over his head - just like his partner did - yet he won't pay out a small amount of money on rent Just to start our life together.!?

Basically he was trying to keep his cash for himself - like he did with his partner - while I subsidise Him!

He even used to call me to moan about his partner to me and he would literally say..

"My partner picks fights with me about Money!"

Err well Yeaahh!

She put a roof over his head and gave him security and a life while he keeps all his cash for himself.

Then he wanted the same deal with me.!

Life is Not a Free Ride!

He doesn’t love you he wants to use you. Why isn’t this enough to run far away. Also look how he is treating the woman before you, that’s his shitty character. Why do you want him? He doesn’t sound like he has any likeable qualities.

click to expand

Hi..

Thanks for your response.

I wanted him because despite the negatives, he 'got' me. He connected with me. He listened to me. He learned to understand me. We had so much to share with each other. We had so much in common both good and bad, our past life experiences are almost identical, it is weird but in a wonderful way.

His positives are My positives. Its like we are Male and Female Versions of each other. We mirror each other and we have been mirroring each other since we met.

It is special to me.

Sadly though, the Pisces pushed me to divorce my husband, while staying with her until I'm divorced. That was scary to me. Throwing away everything with No Guarantee he'll actually leave her after I'm divorced!

Posted by pooface222

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by pooface222

Posted by PuzzlePieces

No. It’s not going to happen unless he wants to leave. Being scared to leave = not leaving ever.

You leave when it’s harder to stay than it is to leave.

Fighting for something like this is not a good idea. It’s more like banging your head against a wall. My opinion is you give a person an opportunity & then it’s up to them. You go live your life & if they truly want you they will make themselves available. Otherwise they don’t truly want you. Actions not words..

Exactly!

And for me, it was harder to stay than it was to leave.

My Aries husband would scream at me with his Control because I refused to obey him. I'm not a goddamn doormat!

And when he was not behaving like that,I got silent treatment, refusing sex, affection and conversations.

Then telling me he Loves me!

It SCRWED with my head & heart!

The Pisces guy talked to me, shared himself, connected himself to me. And I to him. And he got to know me in ways my husband never ever even came close to at all.

So I craved the Pisces as could no longer bear the cold empty harsh pain of mycontrplling husband!

You might not see it but you are on the same cycle with Pisces as you were with your husband.

You are ignored, you are controlled, you are a doormat, and worse you are a mistress!!

Ironically I CAN see it!

NOW!

Its taken me until This Year to finally realise, that the Pisces guy is doing the same to me as my Aries husband!

And Yes. Its Worse!

PISCES is Worse!

His control is Passive! Hence why I never truly noticed until this year. I just had this feeling that something is Not Right!

My Aries husband- in true Aries style - is Aggressive.

But at least by being Aggressive, it meant he was upfront about what he wanted. He never hid it. So I always knew where I stood with him!

With Pisces, his control was so Passive, I was constantly confused by him, and blinded to the fact that he just wanted to use me financially by manipulating me into leaving my husband, for his own financial and personal gain!

click to expand

If you already realize that he's using you you should be running the opposite direction instead of trying to convince yourself that he loves you. I think it's lack of self worth. You have to realize that you have the power to make yourself happy. He is not the key to your happiness.

I noticed the same pattern with your posts about your aries ex. You would shift the blame on him as is you had no accountability for your own happiness. You can choose a happier path for yourself. One that doesn't involve begging for another man's affection.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Regardless of circumstance... Its a hard ask to ask someone to change who they are after 7 years. 7 years where you accepted them as they are.

I'm not necessarily expecting him to change I know it sounds like it. I love him as he is. I just want him to leave her.

That's all I ever wanted.

I have been told many times "He's Not Going To." And yes I don't like hearing it. Even though I secretly know it deep DEEP down.

He rang me a few days ago (he had his dad over), and he called me Lover and Darling and ended the call with I Love You.

I Love it when he says those things. And because he began saying those things a few months in to us meeting (7 YEARS AGO now!), it takes me back to those days..and makes me feel happy etc yet we are still not together.

*Someone else on here, (haven't remember their name yet because I'm reading everyones responses), Said that he's not with me because he couldn't use me in the way he wanted to.

Eg get me to leave my husband (5yrs ago) so he can move into my house after divorce and do the same sh*t with Me as he's doing with his partner (living in her house and saving up his money, keeping all his money for himself while his partner lost everything to be with him), THEN wondering why she's 'picking fights with me about Money'🤦‍♀️

So upon my divorce (had I done it back then), and he moves into my house (had that happened), he'd have used me like he used her.

So maybe that poster* is right. He wanted to use me MORE than he's using me now. He never got his chance. He realised he couldn't use me so he stayed with her.

I just feel very sad now that I've lost everything trying to be with this Pisces guy. He makes my Aries husband look like an Angel in comparison. He may be controlling but he gave me everything. We built a life together. Home. Money. Shared everything. Ok he didn't share emotionally because he can't. He's very closed!

But..i miss my old life now.

Anyway I'm saying all this to you because if I remember correctly I think you also posted on my thread 5yrs ago...so you already know the history...x

Posted by goldenfish

Posted by pooface222

Posted by goldenfish

Fight with whom? With him yes, I could, with her (his partner) - no.

Fight for Him, to His face. In person.

I think you are just upset over the situationship with Cancer. Do not fight for Pieces, it is a bad idea. Try to get over all this.

click to expand

To be honest I actually don't care about the Cancer guy. He's too young for me and we only had 2 dates.

Ok we met 3yrs ago as I said in my post. We worked in a cafe. It was just flirting. Nothing more. After 2 dates he went quiet. Then after a few days he said he wanted a woman his own age. Yes i was upset. But I realised he was too young for me.

So its a worked out. It was something and nothing.

You’re a bit of a mess! The only way to move forward and to find happiness is to block/drop the Pisces which I doubt you are ready to do even after 7 years but it needs to be done. It’s not going to work, not now or in the future, too much has happened for it to ever run smoothly.

Then you need to work on yourself, as much as you think you have high self esteem, this guy has/is knocking that around more than you realise.

One day soon hopefully, you will actually realise you’re beating a dead horse and you will move on… let’s hope it’s not in another 10 desperate threads!

Posted by pooface222

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by Tetka_Iz_Daleka

you´ve already lost this battle ....

Is it really a battle though? Girlfriend is relaxing on a couch somewhere, minding her own business eating chilli fries, while the Cap is gearing up to fight.

I don't mean fight with Her (the partner), and I don't mean fight literally as in a punch-up! I said this in my original post!

I mean fight as in prove to HIM that he should leave her and be with me!

Push him to leave her!

Because what I have actually done is Allow him to see me in secret, but Not push him to leave her OR even show him how much I want him!

I've just behaved like I wanted an affair with him - which I didnt. I wanted a proper relationship - because I never got upset or angry with him that he's not leaving her.

Maybe its my Capricorn practicality in telling him we should move in together and rent that perhaps made him feel that i don't care much for him. Not showing my feelings of upset or hurt. Just getting stuff done.

Don't know though!

Its probably too late now anyway.

We met 7 F**king years ago!!!!

5yrs ago I was on here for the first time confused as hell after 2yrs and trying to find out why he was not leaving his partner.

It took me a long time to realise it was all about MONEY!

I'd have to subsidise HIM with his full-time wage while I struggle as a single mum.

Even THIS year, he actually said to me..on the phone..

"Its well and truly over between me and her. We're going in different directions and we have different interests."

See?

This is why I Don't let go. He makes it so hard. I'm very in love with him.

And Yes. I'm a FOOL!

A LOVEFOOL!

click to expand

😬

Posted by pooface222

Posted by LadyNeptune

Regardless of circumstance... Its a hard ask to ask someone to change who they are after 7 years. 7 years where you accepted them as they are.

I'm not necessarily expecting him to change I know it sounds like it. I love him as he is. I just want him to leave her.

That's all I ever wanted.

I have been told many times "He's Not Going To." And yes I don't like hearing it. Even though I secretly know it deep DEEP down.

He rang me a few days ago (he had his dad over), and he called me Lover and Darling and ended the call with I Love You.

I Love it when he says those things. And because he began saying those things a few months in to us meeting (7 YEARS AGO now!), it takes me back to those days..and makes me feel happy etc yet we are still not together.

*Someone else on here, (haven't remember their name yet because I'm reading everyones responses), Said that he's not with me because he couldn't use me in the way he wanted to.

Eg get me to leave my husband (5yrs ago) so he can move into my house after divorce and do the same sh*t with Me as he's doing with his partner (living in her house and saving up his money, keeping all his money for himself while his partner lost everything to be with him), THEN wondering why she's 'picking fights with me about Money'🤦‍♀️

So upon my divorce (had I done it back then), and he moves into my house (had that happened), he'd have used me like he used her.

So maybe that poster* is right. He wanted to use me MORE than he's using me now. He never got his chance. He realised he couldn't use me so he stayed with her.

I just feel very sad now that I've lost everything trying to be with this Pisces guy. He makes my Aries husband look like an Angel in comparison. He may be controlling but he gave me everything. We built a life together. Home. Money. Shared everything. Ok he didn't share emotionally because he can't. He's very closed!

But..i miss my old life now.

Anyway I'm saying all this to you because if I remember correctly I think you also posted on my thread 5yrs ago...so you already know the history...x

click to expand

I don't want to judge you and make this about me, but I get what you're saying about your ex. I loved my life with my pisces baby daddy. Though i am with a new guy that's also a pisces i can't get use to him... I was so attached to my father's son and with this new relationship, i crave the love and acceptance of the old one. I find myself often hurt that my current boyfriend doesn't understand me the way my other one did.

Posted by stardustmop

I might fight for a man a little bit. I’m an Aries after all. But, he wouldn’t be insecure, depressed, disorganized AND already in a relationship. I’m not gunning for sainthood in this lifetime.

So you would fight for a well rounded, functional person that is single? What would you be fighting for exactly lol? What's the obstacle getting in the way?

Posted by pooface222

I'm not necessarily expecting him to change I know it sounds like it. I love him as he is. I just want him to leave her.

That's all I ever wanted.

I have been told many times "He's Not Going To." And yes I don't like hearing it. Even though I secretly know it deep DEEP down.

He rang me a few days ago (he had his dad over), and he called me Lover and Darling and ended the call with I Love You.

I Love it when he says those things. And because he began saying those things a few months in to us meeting (7 YEARS AGO now!), it takes me back to those days..and makes me feel happy etc yet we are still not together.

*Someone else on here, (haven't remember their name yet because I'm reading everyones responses), Said that he's not with me because he couldn't use me in the way he wanted to.

Eg get me to leave my husband (5yrs ago) so he can move into my house after divorce and do the same sh*t with Me as he's doing with his partner (living in her house and saving up his money, keeping all his money for himself while his partner lost everything to be with him), THEN wondering why she's 'picking fights with me about Money'🤦‍♀️

So upon my divorce (had I done it back then), and he moves into my house (had that happened), he'd have used me like he used her.

So maybe that poster* is right. He wanted to use me MORE than he's using me now. He never got his chance. He realised he couldn't use me so he stayed with her.

I just feel very sad now that I've lost everything trying to be with this Pisces guy. He makes my Aries husband look like an Angel in comparison. He may be controlling but he gave me everything. We built a life together. Home. Money. Shared everything. Ok he didn't share emotionally because he can't. He's very closed!

But..i miss my old life now.

Anyway I'm saying all this to you because if I remember correctly I think you also posted on my thread 5yrs ago...so you already know the history...x

1)You are trying to change him. Did you not say you want him to go half on a rental oppose to putting his feet up and live in your home rent/mortgage free? That's not in his life plan to acquire wealth and therefore would require he change into a thoughtful, responsible adult. If you didn't ask him to do that and just moved him in already and paid all the bills, you would be together now---at least according to you.

2) I was the person that wrote he's not with you because he can't get what he wants from you.

3)I am a tad bit confused. Did you leave your Ram or not? You keep talking about what the Fish wants you to do before moving forward, yet talking about missing a life with the Ram. So if you've done what was asked and he's still with his girlfriend what does that tell you?

Posted by pooface222

Posted by PhoenixRisingIs it really a battle though? Girlfriend is relaxing on a couch somewhere, minding her own business eating chilli fries, while the Cap is gearing up to fight.

I don't mean fight with Her (the partner), and I don't mean fight literally as in a punch-up! I said this in my original post!

I mean fight as in prove to HIM that he should leave her and be with me!

Push him to leave her!

Because what I have actually done is Allow him to see me in secret, but Not push him to leave her OR even show him how much I want him!

I've just behaved like I wanted an affair with him - which I didnt. I wanted a proper relationship - because I never got upset or angry with him that he's not leaving her.

Maybe its my Capricorn practicality in telling him we should move in together and rent that perhaps made him feel that i don't care much for him. Not showing my feelings of upset or hurt. Just getting stuff done.

Don't know though!

Its probably too late now anyway.

We met 7 F**king years ago!!!!

5yrs ago I was on here for the first time confused as hell after 2yrs and trying to find out why he was not leaving his partner.

It took me a long time to realise it was all about MONEY!

I'd have to subsidise HIM with his full-time wage while I struggle as a single mum.

Even THIS year, he actually said to me..on the phone..

"Its well and truly over between me and her. We're going in different directions and we have different interests."

See?

click to expand

I am fully aware you don't mean fight her physically and my post still stands. You're here doing the most...you're asking him to leave, trying to figure out to convince him to leave, stressing over this situation and making (I don't know how many) threads trying to figure what you can do to get this man to be with you, while his girlfriend only needs to wake up every morning and can just "be" with him.

This is not a battle/fight.

Do you really believe it is your lack of "showing him" how much you want him that is preventing him from leaving her? Seriously? You stated that you already suggested that you both leave your significant others, I guess to prove to each other that you're all in. He wouldn't budge. He's only interested in moving forward with you if you go out on the cliff all by yourself and jump off. So how much more "showing" do think you need to do? The only option is what he ask you to do...leave the Ram, move him in. Rent free.

Again, she is doing nothing (at least according to the Fish) and she has him, and you're "fighting" to get him to even consider you.

If I had to guess, it's probably her request that he split the bills that had him looking elsewhere to begin with. If they are truly going in different directions like he says, then you shouldn't have to lift a finger to "prove" you truly want him (e.g. fight for him).

Posted by pooface222

Warning..I DON'T MEAN A PUNCH-UP TYPE FIGHT!

Yes Yes Yes..

To those of you who know my story, I'm harking back to this Pisces guy but having different thoughts this time.

Being a feminine guy he seems very much to want a woman to be more like a man.

Eg when a man fights for a woman he wants. Men being the hunters etc.

If a man is unhappy in his relationship but wants You, BUT is having trouble leaving her for you (insecurity, fear of the unknown), would you fight for him?

And I mean a guy you are so deeply in love with that you cannot live without him. You have connection, shared interests, you are very compatible, 'get' each other, chemistry both out and in the bedroom..and more.

Eg Pushing him over and over, to leave her (and by Push I mean Firmly Encourage, not to push him around).

Being vulnerable with him, to really show him you want him; giving him ultimatums if he doesn't leave her.

And any other shows of passionate behaviour including getting angry at him, then crying, storming off!

Ok a bit drama queen there but!

And Nooo

I don't want to hear NO GUY IS WORTH IT!

Thats too easy to say.

What if you felt a guy was worth it and you wanted him that badly with everything you have with each other.

I always felt this Pisces guy needed a proper level of security from me to know he will be ok leaving her for me.

He is very very insecure! Is Depressive. Disorganised. And Always talked about his craving for Security & Safety.

But i never really showed just how much I TRULY wanted him.

I was quiet and wishy-washy with him.

And as a Capricorn my natural reserve, and slow-to-open-up, slow to trust (sadly known as Capricorns COLDNESS), caused him to actually call me an Ice Queen about 2yrs ago!

I hated this because he didn't see that I had given him options for us to be together, and easily too; but he only wanted things to happen His way!

I guess that may have been his Aries Mars at workt though!

Anyway, would you emotionally and verbally Fight for a guy to leave his partner for you?

Or..

Would you just think that if a guy is THAT MUCH EFFORT, he's not worth it?

For me, why do we have to fight for anybody? So aggressive and ego centric to do in that sense. Mature disagreements are sorted out through an assertive, fair and healthy manner to only find the solution together and not have a raging blame party to find someone to blame for the problem first.

Also I believe the right person will stay with you no matter what and vice versa 🙂

Baby I don't even compete what makes you think i'll FIGHT—?

Posted by stardustmop

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by stardustmop

I might fight for a man a little bit. I’m an Aries after all. But, he wouldn’t be insecure, depressed, disorganized AND already in a relationship. I’m not gunning for sainthood in this lifetime.

So you would fight for a well rounded, functional person that is single? What would you be fighting for exactly lol? What's the obstacle getting in the way?

I guess the way Chrissy Teigen “fought” for John Legend. He said he was too busy for a relationship and she said no.

click to expand

What do you mean by 'the way Chrissy Teigan "fought" '

They are together and happily married..

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by pooface222

Posted by PhoenixRisingIs it really a battle though? Girlfriend is relaxing on a couch somewhere, minding her own business eating chilli fries, while the Cap is gearing up to fight.

I don't mean fight with Her (the partner), and I don't mean fight literally as in a punch-up! I said this in my original post!

I mean fight as in prove to HIM that he should leave her and be with me!

Push him to leave her!

Because what I have actually done is Allow him to see me in secret, but Not push him to leave her OR even show him how much I want him!

I've just behaved like I wanted an affair with him - which I didnt. I wanted a proper relationship - because I never got upset or angry with him that he's not leaving her.

Maybe its my Capricorn practicality in telling him we should move in together and rent that perhaps made him feel that i don't care much for him. Not showing my feelings of upset or hurt. Just getting stuff done.

Don't know though!

Its probably too late now anyway.

We met 7 F**king years ago!!!!

5yrs ago I was on here for the first time confused as hell after 2yrs and trying to find out why he was not leaving his partner.

It took me a long time to realise it was all about MONEY!

I'd have to subsidise HIM with his full-time wage while I struggle as a single mum.

Even THIS year, he actually said to me..on the phone..

"Its well and truly over between me and her. We're going in different directions and we have different interests."

See?

I am fully aware you don't mean fight her physically and my post still stands. You're here doing the most...you're asking him to leave, trying to figure out to convince him to leave, stressing over this situation and making (I don't know how many) threads trying to figure what you can do to get this man to be with you, while his girlfriend only needs to wake up every morning and can just "be" with him.

This is not a battle/fight.

Do you really believe it is your lack of "showing him" how much you want him that is preventing him from leaving her? Seriously? You stated that you already suggested that you both leave your significant others, I guess to prove to each other that you're all in. He wouldn't budge. He's only interested in moving forward with you if you go out on the cliff all by yourself and jump off. So how much more "showing" do think you need to do? The only option is what he ask you to do...leave the Ram, move him in. Rent free.

Again, she is doing nothing (at least according to the Fish) and she has him, and you're "fighting" to get him to even consider you.

If I had to guess, it's probably her request that he split the bills that had him looking elsewhere to begin with. If they are truly going in different directions like he says, then you shouldn't have to lift a finger to "prove" you truly want him (e.g. fight for him).

click to expand

Its all been very very confusing for the entire 7yrs. He wasn't ready to be with me back then. But he put a lot of pressure on me to leave my husband.

I was confused as hell!

I had a 1yr old baby to look after, classes to teach in the evening, an abusive controlling husband at home, and on top of that, another man pressuring me - but nicely- to leave my husband WHILE making zero effort to leave his partner.

He basically wanted the security of me being single so he can be with me - So It SEEMED - but what he probably wanted, as you said, was to use me,like he used his partner.

With all of this SH*T and Hell, it would have been easier to fix my marriage by going to Couple Therapy and take it from there.

I'd get to see my child 7 days a week, every birthday, every Xmas..every school holidays.

As it is I only see her 50/50.

And I hate it.

We have been divorced nearly 2 years.

Posted by pooface222

Its all been very very confusing for the entire 7yrs. He wasn't ready to be with me back then. But he put a lot of pressure on me to leave my husband.

I was confused as hell!

I had a 1yr old baby to look after, classes to teach in the evening, an abusive controlling husband at home, and on top of that, another man pressuring me...

I'd get to see my child 7 days a week, every birthday, every Xmas..every school holidays.

As it is I only see her 50/50.

And I hate it.We have been divorced nearly 2 years.

And you're still at the stage where you're making threads about how to get this man to move forward with you?

Jezzzus. I hope you read your post over before you hit "post message". You're going to look back at this moment and realize you wasted nearly a decade on this man with nothing to show for it and just think "what the f*ck was I doing?". You could have been happily involved with someone that is single and wants to be with only you. A true partner that will help with the load on your plate, not add to it. Yeah, yeah, you have this deep connection, meh that doesn't mean much if the person is f*cking around and playing with you.

I met --who I thought was the love of my life years ago. Great connection, amazing sex, could talk about anything. Didn't think anyone could match that. Jokes on me because the Universe had better plans for me with the person I am currently with. Even better connection. Even better sex and we talk about everything. So, this whole "he's the one and only" is utter bs. Love does not reside in one being and can be found again. You just need to believe you are worth the effort.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by pooface222

Its all been very very confusing for the entire 7yrs. He wasn't ready to be with me back then. But he put a lot of pressure on me to leave my husband.

I was confused as hell!

I had a 1yr old baby to look after, classes to teach in the evening, an abusive controlling husband at home, and on top of that, another man pressuring me...

I'd get to see my child 7 days a week, every birthday, every Xmas..every school holidays.

As it is I only see her 50/50.

And I hate it.We have been divorced nearly 2 years.

And you're still at the stage where you're making threads about how to get this man to move forward with you?

Jezzzus. I hope you read your post over before you hit "post message". You're going to look back at this moment and realize you wasted nearly a decade on this man with nothing to show for it and just think "what the f*ck was I doing?". You could have been happily involved with someone that is single and wants to be with only you. A true partner that will help with the load on your plate, not add to it. Yeah, yeah, you have this deep connection, meh that doesn't mean much if the person is f*cking around and playing with you.

I met --who I thought was the love of my life years ago. Great connection, amazing sex, could talk about anything. Didn't think anyone could match that. Jokes on me because the Universe had better plans for me with the person I am currently with. Even better connection. Even better sex and we talk about everything. So, this whole "he's the one and only" is utter bs. Love does not reside in one being and can be found again. You just need to believe you are worth the effort.

click to expand

I did believe I was worth the effort.

But I guess I thought he would put the effort in. Nope.

He has serious Mother Issues and over the past few weeks I've finally realised that this Pisces doesn't want a partner.

He wants a Mum!

The thing's he comes out with stun me!

I'm not going to list them but jeez, he quite literally wants to live his life for Free while his partner put a roof over his head and gave him a life and security.

Its her house and she owns it.

Yet he whinges and complains about having to pay council tax and bills!!

He earns more than her and complains again about having to pay for most of their holidays together!

He told me "if she worked more she'd earn close to my wage. Then she can pay more."

I mean OMFG!

He wants a MUM. Not a Partner!

And Yes..

Sadly..I am already there..thinking "What the f*ck have I done!"

🥺😔

Posted by pooface222

I did believe I was worth the effort.

"Did" is past tense. So what about now? Don't let your experience with any person diminish your self-worth or make you think you do not deserve better. We can not control how other people choose to treat us and their lack of effort, respect, love, *fill in the blank* is not a reflection of your worth.

Other people's behaviour is a reflection of who they are. What you are willing to accept (or not) is a reflection of who you are.