Apology, fear ... and cold feet ? Is this normal ?

Aquarius individuals often approach love and relationships with a unique blend of independence and emotional complexity. In this discussion, users share their experiences with a Water Bearer who struggles with fear, inconsistency, and self-sabotage despite deep feelings. The thread covers emotional fluctuations, doubts about love, and the internal battles Aquarius faces when it comes to commitment. Readers will gain valuable insights into the typical behaviors of Aquarians in romantic situations, understanding their emotional landscape, and recognizing whether these patterns are normal or need special attention. This thread offers guidance for anyone navigating a relationship with an Aquarius or seeking to understand their own emotional responses.

This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by TheLadyScorpio on Monday, August 27, 2018 and has 53 replies.

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The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

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Hello there my dear Water Bearers,

Thank you to those who had offered advice in my previous thread, I really appreciate it.

This is a continuation of what has occurred since.

After our argument, the days proceeding it. He never directly apologised but through his actions he did show regret and remorse. However, his moods still continues to fluctuate, going between affectionate and caring, highly expressive, to distant, closed off, and cold. Though I must say, around his home, his habits has begun to change. Everything in which I told him before, would make things better, he not only remembered but knowing changed. Since he was being inconsistent, I had also chosen to take time away, a few days to return back to my own home. To allow him some space, and alone time.

Recently, he awkwardly if not shyly opened up a conversation with me. He told me he felt incomplete, that he is happy but his work, love, personal, and professional life seems to be missing something. I told him that is contentment and not happiness. Which he argued that he is happy, as compared to many others, what he has is happiness. I warned him not to compare himself to others, the happiness of others and what they want / need in order to feel that way, may not be exactly what he wants / needs. Everybody has different notion of happiness, to compare yourself with others in any capacity is the quickest way to unhappiness, a spiral down to a personal hell. We then discussed what would make him happy, which lead to the discussion of love.

My first question to him was if he felt love in his life right now. He expressed that he did not feel love. I said you do not feel love at all, not here. It took more probing to figure out that he did indeed feel love, but does not feel loved. As for himself, he is unsure of what he feels, confusion, and conflict settling in. In which I finally said, what if I told you "I love you." There was a genuine almost pained silence after it. He did not say it back. I asked him what he was feeling. He told me he was shocked, surprised, and worried (keep in mind this was the man who told me "I love you.", unprompted many a times, on his own accord).

Had to dig some more, to realise he was shocked and surprised because as much as he wanted to hear it from me. He was as equally in a state of finding it hard to believe that someone like me would or could love him, especially in this short amount of time. A part of him believed, then there was the other part full of doubts. So many questions began to flow from him, he asked why I would love him, or how I could love him, what I loved about him etc. I shared with him exactly what and why. Also told him, I have been around the block enough times to know when and what I feel. No longer do I want life to pass me by, if I feel something I will share it and express it. There simply was no point in playing games, or hiding what I truly felt from the one I care about. The fact that I was so certain, my courage almost baffled him. As I said it without pressure for him to express it from his side, I merely expressed what I did. Got him to open up even more.

He was worried because he did not want to hurt me. In which caused me to question him a bit more. Finally, he admitted that he has been a bastard to me, treating me with poor behaviour, that he was fully consciously aware of it. That I was entirely right all along, and the fact that I dealt with his inconsistency and coldness so calmly, more so than any woman would, impressed him. The fact, that during the argument, I called him out on his behaviour, how it was not right, also caused him to respect me a lot more. He confessed that he knew I was clever, but to prove that he cannot get away with his bastard ways, really cemented the fact that I knew what was going on. I asked whether or not he enjoys being a bastard to me. He looked appalled, and said of course not, I hate it, I hate myself for doing this to you, you do not deserve it, and it is not right.

In my past, I have never treated a woman like this before, always being sweet, giving, and accommodating. You are the first woman, I feel so compelled to treat worse and worse, the more I felt for you. As if the more he felt for me, the more he has to push me away. The more he felt for me, the more he had to lose, so self sabotage. However, I have been hurt many times, in love. I told him so have I, as everyone else has as well. That is no excuse. Jokingly, I said I find that hard to believe because look here, how lucky of a woman I am, the one who treats him the best ends up with the worst of him. Bloody hell, he looked like he was going to cry, and no it was not an act. He genuinely looked like I stabbed him right in heart and through his gut. So I asked, why do it.

More confessions, he declared that he has never felt this way before with any other woman. When he is with me, everything is special, it is all incomparable. No woman ever made him feel this way, nor has he ever felt this strongly for any other woman before either. Life with me, living together, is easy, it is unique, no other experience could be compared, nothing ever came close. No woman meant this much, or caused so many changes in him / his life. I might think this is it, that you might be the one (then he corrected himself), I think you are the one. He was worried, because despite this, he is so confused, and conflicted over his own emotions. They are so big, so overwhelming, that he has doubts some days, as if something is missing but then realises maybe there is not. He does not know anything any more.

At this point, we went into about thirty minutes or so of silence as he panicked, and his anxiety over the emotions went through the roof. I though he would want me gone, or something as equally as bad. That was not the case, he admitted he liked my attention, he liked what we have, it is one of the best things he has had. Again in jest, I said "but you do not like me". is that the second part of that statement. He refuted it, and said that is not the case. I told him he had an out, I expressed myself but in no way am I pressuring him into anything and he told me he is aware of that. I told him is it because I was too nice to him, and he said no, because as nice as you are I know you could take it all away from me and you are no doormat. I told him he will always have his freedom and independence, I do not believe in taking it away from him. He told me, one day, he will not be able to do whatever he wants to do. I was baffled by it. He essentially shared that in the future, he hopes someone will stop him from being that freedom fighting, independence loving man that he is, and almost force / cause him to settle down for good.

Now keep in mind, I am not one that believes in force. I strongly believe in ones free will and for an individual to make their own decisions but it is as if he wants me to fight for him, to fight for him to change, to change enough to commit. As if he needs evidence and proof, for what ? to soothe his insecurities, his lack of self confidence ? to silence his doubts ? to stop his self sabotaging ways ? to show my love enough so he could rest peacefully in it, in full belief

Is this normal Water Bearer behaviour of fighting his own inner battle of commitment (there has been no pressure on my side, and he knows it) ?

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

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@Antiochus, new update.

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No pressure ?

I felt under pressure reading this, Lady. Men don't always like to be asked what they're feeling or being probed 😛 ....

*My first question to him was if he felt love in his life right now. He expressed that he did not feel love. I said you do not feel love at all, not here. It took more probing to figure out that he did indeed feel love, but does not feel loved. As for himself, he is unsure of what he feels, confusion, and conflict settling in. In which I finally said, what if I told you "I love you." There was a genuine almost pained silence after it. He did not say it back. I asked him what he was feeling. He told me he was shocked, surprised, and worried (keep in mind this was the man who told me "I love you.", unprompted many a times, on his own accord)*

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

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Posted by MyStarsShine

No pressure ?

I felt under pressure reading this, Lady. Men don't always like to be asked what they're feeling or being probed 😛 ....

*My first question to him was if he felt love in his life right now. He expressed that he did not feel love. I said you do not feel love at all, not here. It took more probing to figure out that he did indeed feel love, but does not feel loved. As for himself, he is unsure of what he feels, confusion, and conflict settling in. In which I finally said, what if I told you "I love you." There was a genuine almost pained silence after it. He did not say it back. I asked him what he was feeling. He told me he was shocked, surprised, and worried (keep in mind this was the man who told me "I love you.", unprompted many a times, on his own accord)*

He opened up the conversation, he broached the topics, and I know him at least in some capacity enough to know, when he wants to share something but will not, until asked. I know men do not like being asked but he wanted to talk about it. I probed and asked questioned, not for answers but because of our different languages. So we do not mistake one another, we have had miscommunications over it in the past. It was more for that, than for answers. If I did not ask questions to clarify his statements, sometimes because of our constant flipping between languages, we misunderstand the intent. It was an adapted communication skill.

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Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by MyStarsShine

No pressure ?

I felt under pressure reading this, Lady. Men don't always like to be asked what they're feeling or being probed 😛 ....

*My first question to him was if he felt love in his life right now. He expressed that he did not feel love. I said you do not feel love at all, not here. It took more probing to figure out that he did indeed feel love, but does not feel loved. As for himself, he is unsure of what he feels, confusion, and conflict settling in. In which I finally said, what if I told you "I love you." There was a genuine almost pained silence after it. He did not say it back. I asked him what he was feeling. He told me he was shocked, surprised, and worried (keep in mind this was the man who told me "I love you.", unprompted many a times, on his own accord)*

He opened up the conversation, he broached the topics, and I know him at least in some capacity enough to know, when he wants to share something but will not, until asked. I know men do not like being asked but he wanted to talk about it. I probed and asked questioned, not for answers but because of our different languages. So we do not mistake one another, we have had miscommunications over it in the past. It was more for that, than for answers. If I did not ask questions to clarify his statements, sometimes because of our constant flipping between languages, we misunderstand the intent. It was an adapted communication skill.
click to expand

Oh different languages..that makes it even more challenging

I don't know then really

Hope you work things out ❤️

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

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Posted by ASCoppVenus

@theladyscorpio as you may know, i am not an aqua but have dated them many times in my life and currently dating one.... a very extreme fear of commitment like his... hmmm is this something you are willing to take on? The reason I ask is because I have experienced it with an ex. And the challenge to get a man to commit (whether it be a boyfriend-girlfriend status or marriage) is such a huge responsibility that sometimes does not lead to happiness. We can only do so much for this type of man. Ultimately, it is only he who can change himself and his views about commitment. You dont need to prove yourself. And even if you do, it wont be enough because what is lacking, is not from you. But from inside of him. And thats something that you cannot change. I gave up on the man after 4 years and some months because despite the fact that I love him, it was impossible for me to change him. It will either be you, accepting that he might never fully commit and take that risk. Or, he changes because he loves you. Or you move on and find love, not as complicated as this.

I hope you feel better. I know this is a difficult situation for you.

Thank you @ASCoppVenus, I have had also my own experiences with men regarding such issues. Not commitment per se, but the same level of insecurity. In the end, after many years, despite the fact that I loved him, and would stay by him through thick or thin. He did not change, and I had not want him to change for me, but for himself. Like you, I gave up, and moved on. There is only so much you could give, before you realise it is a lost cause. However, that man was not a Water Bearer.

On one hand, he is comfortable being committed with his actions, on another, when he feels ready to jump, he almost gets cold feet. Either way, I have been giving him more space than usual to let him sort out his insanity. Being around his self aware inconsistencies would drive me mad. I need my space and alone time as well. He knows I rather him choose to commit, my forcing him would do both of us no good and I am sincerely not forcing him to, nor want to. Even after I told him how I felt, I still gave him an out. If he does not feel the same way, I will take my losses and move forward. I will survive. However, he seems to want more time, and to see if I would fight some more. I know what is lacking is in him, and not me. Even he is aware of this. How solid I am, and feel, is partly what frightens him, how sure I am about myself.

He did ask me for time though, to figure it out. At this moment, I believe he still deserves a bit more time, but that time frame will not last forever. I know my worth, and I could take it elsewhere to a man that will not hesitate in choosing me and committing. However, you are more than right and your kind words are always appreciated.

What is your sign ASCoppVenus ?

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

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Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

@Antiochus, new update.

To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.

It's adjusting.

click to expand

Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆

Were they all Water Bearers ?

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

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Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by MyStarsShine

No pressure ?

I felt under pressure reading this, Lady. Men don't always like to be asked what they're feeling or being probed 😛 ....

*My first question to him was if he felt love in his life right now. He expressed that he did not feel love. I said you do not feel love at all, not here. It took more probing to figure out that he did indeed feel love, but does not feel loved. As for himself, he is unsure of what he feels, confusion, and conflict settling in. In which I finally said, what if I told you "I love you." There was a genuine almost pained silence after it. He did not say it back. I asked him what he was feeling. He told me he was shocked, surprised, and worried (keep in mind this was the man who told me "I love you.", unprompted many a times, on his own accord)*

He opened up the conversation, he broached the topics, and I know him at least in some capacity enough to know, when he wants to share something but will not, until asked. I know men do not like being asked but he wanted to talk about it. I probed and asked questioned, not for answers but because of our different languages. So we do not mistake one another, we have had miscommunications over it in the past. It was more for that, than for answers. If I did not ask questions to clarify his statements, sometimes because of our constant flipping between languages, we misunderstand the intent. It was an adapted communication skill.

Oh different languages..that makes it even more challenging

I don't know then really

Hope you work things out ❤️
click to expand

Yes, there are eight languages between us. Unfortunately the ones that overlap, are either my strength and his weakness, or vice versa. 😆

You are very kind Stars, and I am still reflecting on the common traits as to why I attract such men. After all, you are correct, perhaps something in my past may trigger such attractions. Thank you for once again, alerting me to further my self awareness journey. ❤️

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Signed Up: May 08, 2017
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Posted by ASCoppVenus

@theladyscorpio as you may know, i am not an aqua but have dated them many times in my life and currently dating one.... a very extreme fear of commitment like his... hmmm is this something you are willing to take on? The reason I ask is because I have experienced it with an ex. And the challenge to get a man to commit (whether it be a boyfriend-girlfriend status or marriage) is such a huge responsibility that sometimes does not lead to happiness. We can only do so much for this type of man. Ultimately, it is only he who can change himself and his views about commitment. You dont need to prove yourself. And even if you do, it wont be enough because what is lacking, is not from you. But from inside of him. And thats something that you cannot change. I gave up on the man after 4 years and some months because despite the fact that I love him, it was impossible for me to change him. It will either be you, accepting that he might never fully commit and take that risk. Or, he changes because he loves you. Or you move on and find love, not as complicated as this.

I hope you feel better. I know this is a difficult situation for you.

Our stories are so similar @ASCoppVenus, even the time frame. I grew a lot from that relationship, really opened my eyes to the fact that I choose emotionally unavailable men time and time again. I've stopped doing that because the effect is the complete opposite of what I wanted. Instead of protecting myself from attachment and vulnerability, it made me feel unwanted, frustrated and used. Fortunately I have finally found someone that cherishes me, makes me feel loved and respected. It took a long, long time and growth on my part to find, but it's so worth the wait!

Best wishes to all of us ladies in finding that perfectly imperfect counterpart...

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Signed Up: Sep 03, 2016
Comments: 37529 · Posts: 41243 · Topics: 331

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by MyStarsShine

No pressure ?

I felt under pressure reading this, Lady. Men don't always like to be asked what they're feeling or being probed 😛 ....

*My first question to him was if he felt love in his life right now. He expressed that he did not feel love. I said you do not feel love at all, not here. It took more probing to figure out that he did indeed feel love, but does not feel loved. As for himself, he is unsure of what he feels, confusion, and conflict settling in. In which I finally said, what if I told you "I love you." There was a genuine almost pained silence after it. He did not say it back. I asked him what he was feeling. He told me he was shocked, surprised, and worried (keep in mind this was the man who told me "I love you.", unprompted many a times, on his own accord)*

He opened up the conversation, he broached the topics, and I know him at least in some capacity enough to know, when he wants to share something but will not, until asked. I know men do not like being asked but he wanted to talk about it. I probed and asked questioned, not for answers but because of our different languages. So we do not mistake one another, we have had miscommunications over it in the past. It was more for that, than for answers. If I did not ask questions to clarify his statements, sometimes because of our constant flipping between languages, we misunderstand the intent. It was an adapted communication skill.

Oh different languages..that makes it even more challenging

I don't know then really

Hope you work things out ❤️

Yes, there are eight languages between us. Unfortunately the ones that overlap, are either my strength and his weakness, or vice versa. 😆

You are very kind Stars, and I am still reflecting on the common traits as to why I attract such men. After all, you are correct, perhaps something in my past may trigger such attractions. Thank you for once again, alerting me to further my self awareness journey. ❤️
click to expand

You are welcome ma'am

Have to look out for my Scorp sisters ❤️

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Too much talking, not enough fucking 😈

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

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Posted by LadyNeptune

Too much talking, not enough fucking 😈

Hah, fret not @LadyNeptune. We do quite a fair amount of that as well. I nearly exhaust him in that regard. 😆

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

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Posted by Impulsv

Hope you don’t have to fight for him all the time n he gets it soon

It would be exhausting having to prove yourself constantly

I’m glad he was honest about it

Honestly @Impulsv, I am not proving myself.

I let my feeings be known and do what I believe feels right / good. It all comes from my care and love for him. Of course, he wants me to prove it but I cannot do that. The most I could is be myself, let my genuine expression flow. He will see and feel what he wants to see and feel. At the end of the day, he has to choose to believe what is in front of him. It is nothing that I could do.

On the other hand, will I fight for him ? Yes, I will of course as long as he shows himself self aware enough that he works on himself as well. I have patience in love, a lot of it, but I am no fool. He knows this.

But thank you, your words helped. 🙂

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

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Posted by Gobby

Aqua and Scorpio couplings... a HUGE no-no...

Why is that, @Gobby ?

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Posted by Gobby

Aqua and Scorpio couplings... a HUGE no-no...

Yet you see it a lot...

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

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Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

@Antiochus, new update.

To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.

It's adjusting.

Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆

Were they all Water Bearers ?

Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.

Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.

Edit: all Cap Venus of course.
click to expand

Interesting.

I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).

Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.

During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?

Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

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Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154

Posted by peachy06

Posted by Gobby

Aqua and Scorpio couplings... a HUGE no-no...

*long sigh*
click to expand

Why the long sigh, peachy ?

9 Years25,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Sep 03, 2016
Comments: 37529 · Posts: 41243 · Topics: 331

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

@Antiochus, new update.

To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.

It's adjusting.

Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆

Were they all Water Bearers ?

Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.

Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.

Edit: all Cap Venus of course.

Interesting.

I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).

Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.

During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?

Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?
click to expand

Can you post his chart when you get a birth time?

Where are his Venus and mars?

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

12 Years10,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Jan 21, 2013
Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

@Antiochus, new update.

To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.

It's adjusting.

Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆

Were they all Water Bearers ?

Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.

Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.

Edit: all Cap Venus of course.

Interesting.

I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).

Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.

During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?

Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?

Can you post his chart when you get a birth time?

Where are his Venus and mars?
click to expand

I do not yet have his birth time.

However Stars, he is as follows -

Water Bearer Sun

Merman Moon (possibly Ram Moon)

Goat Mercury

Goat Venus

Goat Mars

He is quite heavy in that earth energy.

9 Years25,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Sep 03, 2016
Comments: 37529 · Posts: 41243 · Topics: 331

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

@Antiochus, new update.

To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.

It's adjusting.

Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆

Were they all Water Bearers ?

Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.

Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.

Edit: all Cap Venus of course.

Interesting.

I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).

Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.

During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?

Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?

Can you post his chart when you get a birth time?

Where are his Venus and mars?

I do not yet have his birth time.

However Stars, he is as follows -

Water Bearer Sun

Merman Moon (possibly Ram Moon)

Goat Mercury

Goat Venus

Goat Mars

He is quite heavy in that earth energy.
click to expand

Very cautious chart....

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

12 Years10,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Jan 21, 2013
Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

@Antiochus, new update.

To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.

It's adjusting.

Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆

Were they all Water Bearers ?

Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.

Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.

Edit: all Cap Venus of course.

Interesting.

I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).

Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.

During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?

Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?

Retreating is a bad idea. Brace the storm and ride the waves. It's not an attack but an attempt to tear down his own walls.

Patience, yes. Space, only occasionally.

All of it. It's close to existential and identity crisis.
click to expand

So the fabled existential and identity crisis is real. I truly empathise for him, it must be horrible to have to go through that.

No @Antiochus, you are correct. It did not feel like an attack, it felt like he really wanted to make sense of his own emotions and wanted to share what was going on within him. But even there, he finds himself unable to express it well, nor able to comprehend himself enough to do it justice. He was pushing me away, but it also sounded like a cry for help, or at least not to be abandoned merely for struggling, and finally being honest about it. I think because being around me, changed him, not because I forced it, but because it caused him to view life differently.

Ah, it explains why recently whenever I tried to move away to sleep alone, or turn my back towards him (mostly because I wanted to get a good nights sleep, it had nothing to do with him). He would pull me back in very closely, as if afraid I would suddenly be gone. Ironically, he said he feels I am too logical, rational, and detached at times. I told him it was because the trust is not strong enough yet for me to give him my all, that takes time despite love being present.

Do you still struggle with such issues when falling in love or when committed to someone ?

If not, how did you overcome it ?

As a Water Bearer and Goat Venus, what makes you feel loved ?

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

12 Years10,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Jan 21, 2013
Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

@Antiochus, new update.

To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.

It's adjusting.

Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆

Were they all Water Bearers ?

Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.

Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.

Edit: all Cap Venus of course.

Interesting.

I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).

Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.

During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?

Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?

Can you post his chart when you get a birth time?

Where are his Venus and mars?

I do not yet have his birth time.

However Stars, he is as follows -

Water Bearer Sun

Merman Moon (possibly Ram Moon)

Goat Mercury

Goat Venus

Goat Mars

He is quite heavy in that earth energy.

Very cautious chart....
click to expand

Yes, yet strangely enough he is also a very impatient individual. You would think with all that Goat, he would at least be steadfast or stubborn. After all, it is earth energy.

He struggles in making decisions at times, whenever he has to, I could literally see the pain on his face in deliberating all the different factors in order to choose what is best. He admits this, and often asks for my advice or feedback because of so. Only because he believes I see things more clearly than he does, yes or no, black and white. He seems to trust my opinion as well, even though he often argues it at the time. Though he does spend time reflecting on things I share with him. It never ceases to surprise me, that he rememebers and reflects. It helps him, I suppose.

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

12 Years10,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Jan 21, 2013
Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154

Posted by peachy06

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

@Antiochus, new update.

To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.

It's adjusting.

Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆

Were they all Water Bearers ?

Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.

Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.

Edit: all Cap Venus of course.

Interesting.

I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).

Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.

During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?

Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?

Retreating is a bad idea. Brace the storm and ride the waves. It's not an attack but an attempt to tear down his own walls.

Patience, yes. Space, only occasionally.

All of it. It's close to existential and identity crisis.

Yes. I see it as a test too.
click to expand

Of my patience, my loyalty or of my love ?

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

12 Years10,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Jan 21, 2013
Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154

Posted by peachy06

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by peachy06

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

@Antiochus, new update.

To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.

It's adjusting.

Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆

Were they all Water Bearers ?

Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.

Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.

Edit: all Cap Venus of course.

Interesting.

I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).

Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.

During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?

Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?

Retreating is a bad idea. Brace the storm and ride the waves. It's not an attack but an attempt to tear down his own walls.

Patience, yes. Space, only occasionally.

All of it. It's close to existential and identity crisis.

Yes. I see it as a test too.

Of my patience, my loyalty or of my love ?

Not yours. His.
click to expand

Who is testing whom ?

You are having me a bit confused there.

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

12 Years10,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Jan 21, 2013
Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

@Antiochus, new update.

To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.

It's adjusting.

Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆

Were they all Water Bearers ?

Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.

Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.

Edit: all Cap Venus of course.

Interesting.

I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).

Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.

During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?

Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?

Retreating is a bad idea. Brace the storm and ride the waves. It's not an attack but an attempt to tear down his own walls.

Patience, yes. Space, only occasionally.

All of it. It's close to existential and identity crisis.

So the fabled existential and identity crisis is real. I truly empathise for him, it must be horrible to have to go through that.

No @Antiochus, you are correct. It did not feel like an attack, it felt like he really wanted to make sense of his own emotions and wanted to share what was going on within him. But even there, he finds himself unable to express it well, nor able to comprehend himself enough to do it justice. He was pushing me away, but it also sounded like a cry for help, or at least not to be abandoned merely for struggling, and finally being honest about it. I think because being around me, changed him, not because I forced it, but because it caused him to view life differently.

Ah, it explains why recently whenever I tried to move away to sleep alone, or turn my back towards him (mostly because I wanted to get a good nights sleep, it had nothing to do with him). He would pull me back in very closely, as if afraid I would suddenly be gone. Ironically, he said he feels I am too logical, rational, and detached at times. I told him it was because the trust is not strong enough yet for me to give him my all, that takes time despite love being present.

Do you still struggle with such issues when falling in love or when committed to someone ?

If not, how did you overcome it ?

As a Water Bearer and Goat Venus, what makes you feel loved ?

Yes, it's real but I think it's something we go through only when we truly fall in love and only once.

I've loved only once and will never again. Back then I went through the whole process over years.

I didn't overcome it.

Can only speak for myself but I don't think there is anything that can give me that feeling.

click to expand

When you said you did not overcome it.

Do you mean you never committed to her, or always struggled to love her, believe she loved you ?

Do clarify.

8 Years1,000+ Posts

Signed Up: May 08, 2017
Comments: 480 · Posts: 3567 · Topics: 13

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

@Antiochus, new update.

To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.

It's adjusting.

Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆

Were they all Water Bearers ?

Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.

Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.

Edit: all Cap Venus of course.

Interesting.

I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).

Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.

During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?

Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?

Retreating is a bad idea. Brace the storm and ride the waves. It's not an attack but an attempt to tear down his own walls.

Patience, yes. Space, only occasionally.

All of it. It's close to existential and identity crisis.

So the fabled existential and identity crisis is real. I truly empathise for him, it must be horrible to have to go through that.

No @Antiochus, you are correct. It did not feel like an attack, it felt like he really wanted to make sense of his own emotions and wanted to share what was going on within him. But even there, he finds himself unable to express it well, nor able to comprehend himself enough to do it justice. He was pushing me away, but it also sounded like a cry for help, or at least not to be abandoned merely for struggling, and finally being honest about it. I think because being around me, changed him, not because I forced it, but because it caused him to view life differently.

Ah, it explains why recently whenever I tried to move away to sleep alone, or turn my back towards him (mostly because I wanted to get a good nights sleep, it had nothing to do with him). He would pull me back in very closely, as if afraid I would suddenly be gone. Ironically, he said he feels I am too logical, rational, and detached at times. I told him it was because the trust is not strong enough yet for me to give him my all, that takes time despite love being present.

Do you still struggle with such issues when falling in love or when committed to someone ?

If not, how did you overcome it ?

As a Water Bearer and Goat Venus, what makes you feel loved ?

Yes, it's real but I think it's something we go through only when we truly fall in love and only once.

I've loved only once and will never again. Back then I went through the whole process over years.

I didn't overcome it.

Can only speak for myself but I don't think there is anything that can give me that feeling.

click to expand

You sound like my aqua sister, where is your moon @Antiochus?

8 Years1,000+ Posts

Signed Up: May 08, 2017
Comments: 480 · Posts: 3567 · Topics: 13

Posted by peachy06

Posted by Jules-ll

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

@Antiochus, new update.

To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.

It's adjusting.

Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆

Were they all Water Bearers ?

Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.

Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.

Edit: all Cap Venus of course.

Interesting.

I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).

Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.

During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?

Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?

Retreating is a bad idea. Brace the storm and ride the waves. It's not an attack but an attempt to tear down his own walls.

Patience, yes. Space, only occasionally.

All of it. It's close to existential and identity crisis.

So the fabled existential and identity crisis is real. I truly empathise for him, it must be horrible to have to go through that.

No @Antiochus, you are correct. It did not feel like an attack, it felt like he really wanted to make sense of his own emotions and wanted to share what was going on within him. But even there, he finds himself unable to express it well, nor able to comprehend himself enough to do it justice. He was pushing me away, but it also sounded like a cry for help, or at least not to be abandoned merely for struggling, and finally being honest about it. I think because being around me, changed him, not because I forced it, but because it caused him to view life differently.

Ah, it explains why recently whenever I tried to move away to sleep alone, or turn my back towards him (mostly because I wanted to get a good nights sleep, it had nothing to do with him). He would pull me back in very closely, as if afraid I would suddenly be gone. Ironically, he said he feels I am too logical, rational, and detached at times. I told him it was because the trust is not strong enough yet for me to give him my all, that takes time despite love being present.

Do you still struggle with such issues when falling in love or when committed to someone ?

If not, how did you overcome it ?

As a Water Bearer and Goat Venus, what makes you feel loved ?

Yes, it's real but I think it's something we go through only when we truly fall in love and only once.

I've loved only once and will never again. Back then I went through the whole process over years.

I didn't overcome it.

Can only speak for myself but I don't think there is anything that can give me that feeling.

You sound like my aqua sister, where is your moon @Antiochus?

He's a Sag moon
click to expand

Thanks Peachy. My sister is sun, mercury & rising aqua with a pisces moon, she's had one love in her life and when that went sour she stopped dating...Something in her closed off. And she's stunningly beautiful but really reserved...

@pisceswoman123

8 Years10,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Jun 14, 2017
Comments: 1119 · Posts: 10883 · Topics: 28

Well I don’t think you should worry much. I think he is committed to you. Yes, he may be straggling but that is because he knows that this is different and he is scared of his feelings for you.

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

12 Years10,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Jan 21, 2013
Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

@Antiochus, new update.

To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.

It's adjusting.

Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆

Were they all Water Bearers ?

Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.

Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.

Edit: all Cap Venus of course.

Interesting.

I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).

Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.

During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?

Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?

Retreating is a bad idea. Brace the storm and ride the waves. It's not an attack but an attempt to tear down his own walls.

Patience, yes. Space, only occasionally.

All of it. It's close to existential and identity crisis.

So the fabled existential and identity crisis is real. I truly empathise for him, it must be horrible to have to go through that.

No @Antiochus, you are correct. It did not feel like an attack, it felt like he really wanted to make sense of his own emotions and wanted to share what was going on within him. But even there, he finds himself unable to express it well, nor able to comprehend himself enough to do it justice. He was pushing me away, but it also sounded like a cry for help, or at least not to be abandoned merely for struggling, and finally being honest about it. I think because being around me, changed him, not because I forced it, but because it caused him to view life differently.

Ah, it explains why recently whenever I tried to move away to sleep alone, or turn my back towards him (mostly because I wanted to get a good nights sleep, it had nothing to do with him). He would pull me back in very closely, as if afraid I would suddenly be gone. Ironically, he said he feels I am too logical, rational, and detached at times. I told him it was because the trust is not strong enough yet for me to give him my all, that takes time despite love being present.

Do you still struggle with such issues when falling in love or when committed to someone ?

If not, how did you overcome it ?

As a Water Bearer and Goat Venus, what makes you feel loved ?

Yes, it's real but I think it's something we go through only when we truly fall in love and only once.

I've loved only once and will never again. Back then I went through the whole process over years.

I didn't overcome it.

Can only speak for myself but I don't think there is anything that can give me that feeling.

When you said you did not overcome it.

Do you mean you never committed to her, or always struggled to love her, believe she loved you ?

Do clarify.

Commitment isn't the problem, neither was loving her. I never thought she loved or cared about me.

The problem was and is to endure love. Overcoming would imply an end of love. The struggle will always be there but will get easier and less demanding for both sides.
click to expand

Intriguing, strange how no matter what I do he said similar. A part of him, thinks I do not love or care about him.

In fact, for once he has gone radio silent. This has never happened before in all the time that we had known one another. Every day, in one way or another we would reach out to one another even if to say hello.

Should I be worried ?

Love is almost an affliction to him. Strange how it is something he so dearly wants yet when he has it. It seems to almost kill him. I never found love to be something to endure, for a Water Sign. It is merely a state of being. 😆

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

12 Years10,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Jan 21, 2013
Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

He doesn’t sound Aqua at all sorry...

A fire moon isn’t coming to the party in a reciperacal relo and it drowns a lot of the Aqua out which is already detriment as a sun sign.

They can be so disorientating (fire moon) and so can Aqua sun but it’s in very polar opposite ways.

Firstly Aqua will never ask how do you love me or why.... that’s so strange. If he discusses these issues on the regular I’d say he’s gloating and not really concerned about your emotional welfare.

This is about him.

I have an airy moon and that kind of postulating grosses me out... I know what energy I bring and most Aqua don’t care about feels or lip service they watch more of what you do.

We are action orientated people and operate from the neck up.

Aqua men express love with their service and sex and as stated previously Aqua men romanticise their love through their delivery of it.

You know you’re loved by Aqua as opposed to feeling loved. Hard to explain.

Love isn’t sitting around discussing why you love someone or pushing them away.

I believe it is the insecurity, lack of self esteem, and self confidence in him that makes him ask those questions. To be fair, this was only the second time he had ever asked it, in all the conversations that we have had. Therefore, definitely not a regular choice of topic.

He already observes what I do, he mentioned things I have done for him. I was nearly surprised at how much he noted of what I do or have done, for myself and for him. Therefore yes, he does pay attention to my actions a lot. However, his love language seems more orientated towards verbal affection and physical/tactile touch more than acts of service. Hence why he seems to need to hear things from me often, to hear things is also a very mental, above neck driven trait, no ? To him, is it a form of confirmation.

By the way, he is a merman moon, as best to my knowledge.

Well, in terms of sex. He ensures to give me as much of it as he could since as a Stinger, when we love someone we constantly desire them. He is aware of this and works hard to give me the best possible experience ever. Always checking in to see what I like, or how he could improve things for me, and actually takes all the feedback to heart. He remembers them, and slowly enacts them everything he sates me. That was another thing which surprises me, how hard he works for my satisfaction. To know that I enjoyed myself, and had a great time. 😆

I am not saying you are wrong, after all I am not the Water Bearer here. You are. It has always been our style , to talk things out especially when things get rough. Usually this is accompanied by moments of alone time prior.

Can you fault him for discussing things, and trying to broach a conversation on it ?

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

12 Years10,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Jan 21, 2013
Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154

He has gone radio silent, which has never happened before. Not in all the time that we had known one another, since the very beginning. We would somehow in one way or another, reach out to each other, to say hello etc.

I have been giving him alone time, he also requested for it. Being back at my own home, away from it also helps me regain a sense of peace yet this new found silence. As much as I hate to admit it, unnerves me. I am respecting it, but the fact that he is closing off, and keeping me out. Almost seems unfair, despite the fact that I see his statuses have shown him to be around rather often. Though to keep from driving myself mad, I try my best to keep my anxiety low due to this sudden new shift. As I too do this to others, when I need to be in my safety bubble. Empathy is not always easy. 😆

Should I be worried ?

9 Years25,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Sep 03, 2016
Comments: 37529 · Posts: 41243 · Topics: 331

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

He has gone radio silent, which has never happened before. Not in all the time that we had known one another, since the very beginning. We would somehow in one way or another, reach out to each other, to say hello etc.

I have been giving him alone time, he also requested for it. Being back at my own home, away from it also helps me regain a sense of peace yet this new found silence. As much as I hate to admit it, unnerves me. I am respecting it, but the fact that he is closing off, and keeping me out. Almost seems unfair, despite the fact that I see his statuses have shown him to be around rather often. Though to keep from driving myself mad, I try my best to keep my anxiety low due to this sudden new shift. As I too do this to others, when I need to be in my safety bubble. Empathy is not always easy. 😆

Should I be worried ?

Only if it goes on for a long time

Man cave and all that

Go out with your friends and have fun and let go a little💃🏼 ... as my Aries ex said to me "don't make your love life everything", great advice which I took 👍

Signed Up: Jun 02, 2017
Comments: 0 · Posts: 24 · Topics: 1

Yes. They want the full drama and emotional range of you fighting for them.

Signed Up: Jun 02, 2017
Comments: 0 · Posts: 24 · Topics: 1

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

He has gone radio silent, which has never happened before. Not in all the time that we had known one another, since the very beginning. We would somehow in one way or another, reach out to each other, to say hello etc.

I have been giving him alone time, he also requested for it. Being back at my own home, away from it also helps me regain a sense of peace yet this new found silence. As much as I hate to admit it, unnerves me. I am respecting it, but the fact that he is closing off, and keeping me out. Almost seems unfair, despite the fact that I see his statuses have shown him to be around rather often. Though to keep from driving myself mad, I try my best to keep my anxiety low due to this sudden new shift. As I too do this to others, when I need to be in my safety bubble. Empathy is not always easy. 😆

Should I be worried ?

This is what ended my relationship. As soon as it appeared me and the Aqua were set and fully in love, POOF. It made no sense and the longer he was gone the more angry I got and the more unfair it felt. Finally, I told him if there was somewhere else he wanted to be more than with me, he should go and stay. So he did.

I guess I’m at the point in my life where fights are extra and unnecessary effort. I thought these folk wanted easy drama-free relationships but it’s actually them that create the drama.

7 Years1,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Aug 20, 2018
Comments: 742 · Posts: 1173 · Topics: 14

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

@Antiochus, new update.

To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.

It's adjusting.

Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆

Were they all Water Bearers ?

Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.

Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.

Edit: all Cap Venus of course.

Interesting.

I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).

Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.

During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?

Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?

Can you post his chart when you get a birth time?

Where are his Venus and mars?

I do not yet have his birth time.

However Stars, he is as follows -

Water Bearer Sun

Merman Moon (possibly Ram Moon)

Goat Mercury

Goat Venus

Goat Mars

He is quite heavy in that earth energy.
click to expand

Woof, thats a rough matchup. Honestly I think whats giving him a lot of his issues isnt so much that aqua sun but that cap venus, merc, and mars. The sun sign just adds extra complication. Cap is critical, very self reflective and self analyzing. This can be great in keeping balance and stability but on the darkside it can be overcritical and almost obsessive. It can amplify any insecurities and self doubts.

I deal with similar stuff, same cap placements, cept mars. I'm not as bad as your aqua though. If I was in a relationship like yours, the insecurities would be minor. For me its even getting to that point thats the problem. Best advice is to keep gently ressuring him. But cause hes air dont overbear, its a painfully tedious thing if you ask me. And Im no expert but this part of his personality is likely set. The best he can do is find balance and feed into the postive aspects. You might have to go the rest of your relationship reassuring him. Not all the time or in extreme, mind you, but its something to consider longterm. And like others said, this might not be something he can deal with right now. 😢

I really hope it works out though!

8 Years1,000+ Posts

Signed Up: May 08, 2017
Comments: 480 · Posts: 3567 · Topics: 13

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by peachy06

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

@Antiochus, new update.

To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.

It's adjusting.

Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆

Were they all Water Bearers ?

Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.

Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.

Edit: all Cap Venus of course.

Interesting.

I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).

Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.

During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?

Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?

Retreating is a bad idea. Brace the storm and ride the waves. It's not an attack but an attempt to tear down his own walls.

Patience, yes. Space, only occasionally.

All of it. It's close to existential and identity crisis.

So the fabled existential and identity crisis is real. I truly empathise for him, it must be horrible to have to go through that.

No @Antiochus, you are correct. It did not feel like an attack, it felt like he really wanted to make sense of his own emotions and wanted to share what was going on within him. But even there, he finds himself unable to express it well, nor able to comprehend himself enough to do it justice. He was pushing me away, but it also sounded like a cry for help, or at least not to be abandoned merely for struggling, and finally being honest about it. I think because being around me, changed him, not because I forced it, but because it caused him to view life differently.

Ah, it explains why recently whenever I tried to move away to sleep alone, or turn my back towards him (mostly because I wanted to get a good nights sleep, it had nothing to do with him). He would pull me back in very closely, as if afraid I would suddenly be gone. Ironically, he said he feels I am too logical, rational, and detached at times. I told him it was because the trust is not strong enough yet for me to give him my all, that takes time despite love being present.

Do you still struggle with such issues when falling in love or when committed to someone ?

If not, how did you overcome it ?

As a Water Bearer and Goat Venus, what makes you feel loved ?

Yes, it's real but I think it's something we go through only when we truly fall in love and only once.

I've loved only once and will never again. Back then I went through the whole process over years.

I didn't overcome it.

Can only speak for myself but I don't think there is anything that can give me that feeling.

When you said you did not overcome it.

Do you mean you never committed to her, or always struggled to love her, believe she loved you ?

Do clarify.

Commitment isn't the problem, neither was loving her. I never thought she loved or cared about me.

The problem was and is to endure love. Overcoming would imply an end of love. The struggle will always be there but will get easier and less demanding for both sides.

Do Gemini really have this effect on people or ? It's crazy how they fuck up people, even Aquarius can't resist them... But I understand. It took me a while to get over a guy some years ago. I trully believe we can only love once.

Not in general, no. If you just constantly give them what they want all is good but that's rarely the right course of action. She was and is unique. Not like your usual Gemini. With usual Geminis it's mostly the other way around and they have to fight their way into an Aquas life.

RxVenus peoples relationships are supposed to be carmic, if you believe in past lifes that is.

Our synastry could be considered to be good and bad at the same time. Both biographies are difficult as well.

All in all I agree. We love only once and then that's it.
click to expand

That damned Venus Rx! Will we ever be able to fully love ourselves? Think that's our hardest lesson...

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

12 Years10,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Jan 21, 2013
Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

He has gone radio silent, which has never happened before. Not in all the time that we had known one another, since the very beginning. We would somehow in one way or another, reach out to each other, to say hello etc.

I have been giving him alone time, he also requested for it. Being back at my own home, away from it also helps me regain a sense of peace yet this new found silence. As much as I hate to admit it, unnerves me. I am respecting it, but the fact that he is closing off, and keeping me out. Almost seems unfair, despite the fact that I see his statuses have shown him to be around rather often. Though to keep from driving myself mad, I try my best to keep my anxiety low due to this sudden new shift. As I too do this to others, when I need to be in my safety bubble. Empathy is not always easy. 😆

Should I be worried ?

Only if it goes on for a long time

Man cave and all that

Go out with your friends and have fun and let go a little💃🏼 ... as my Aries ex said to me "don't make your love life everything", great advice which I took 👍
click to expand

stars, I am more so a shade disorientated over the change in behaviour rather than his need for space. Man cave time is real and I fully respect that, as I have also gone into my safety bubble away from him before as well.

Since he is often the one that needs to keep in touch, and writes me on his daily updates all the time. I suppose I simply got used to it, so now that it is gone. It feels a bit strange, not that I am entirely complaining either.

It has been rather refreshing, being back in my own home. Enjoying my alone time, doing things that does not require having to think of another first. Having long baths with salts, lavender, essential oils, candles etc. Going out has not been the key, I needed to recharge more so. Did not realise how much I needed it until I got back to my own home, and realised I truly missed the space of my own bed. 😆

(Though regardless I must say, excellent advice on part of the Ram.)

9 Years25,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Sep 03, 2016
Comments: 37529 · Posts: 41243 · Topics: 331

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

He has gone radio silent, which has never happened before. Not in all the time that we had known one another, since the very beginning. We would somehow in one way or another, reach out to each other, to say hello etc.

I have been giving him alone time, he also requested for it. Being back at my own home, away from it also helps me regain a sense of peace yet this new found silence. As much as I hate to admit it, unnerves me. I am respecting it, but the fact that he is closing off, and keeping me out. Almost seems unfair, despite the fact that I see his statuses have shown him to be around rather often. Though to keep from driving myself mad, I try my best to keep my anxiety low due to this sudden new shift. As I too do this to others, when I need to be in my safety bubble. Empathy is not always easy. 😆

Should I be worried ?

Only if it goes on for a long time

Man cave and all that

Go out with your friends and have fun and let go a little💃🏼 ... as my Aries ex said to me "don't make your love life everything", great advice which I took 👍

stars, I am more so a shade disorientated over the change in behaviour rather than his need for space. Man cave time is real and I fully respect that, as I have also gone into my safety bubble away from him before as well.

Since he is often the one that needs to keep in touch, and writes me on his daily updates all the time. I suppose I simply got used to it, so now that it is gone. It feels a bit strange, not that I am entirely complaining either.

It has been rather refreshing, being back in my own home. Enjoying my alone time, doing things that does not require having to think of another first. Having long baths with salts, lavender, essential oils, candles etc. Going out has not been the key, I needed to recharge more so. Did not realise how much I needed it until I got back to my own home, and realised I truly missed the space of my own bed. 😆

(Though regardless I must say, excellent advice on part of the Ram.)
click to expand

Isn't it crazy how women can put those things on hold because they're with a man, whereas men tend to carry on doing exactly what they want lol

8 Years1,000+ Posts

Signed Up: May 08, 2017
Comments: 480 · Posts: 3567 · Topics: 13

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

He has gone radio silent, which has never happened before. Not in all the time that we had known one another, since the very beginning. We would somehow in one way or another, reach out to each other, to say hello etc.

I have been giving him alone time, he also requested for it. Being back at my own home, away from it also helps me regain a sense of peace yet this new found silence. As much as I hate to admit it, unnerves me. I am respecting it, but the fact that he is closing off, and keeping me out. Almost seems unfair, despite the fact that I see his statuses have shown him to be around rather often. Though to keep from driving myself mad, I try my best to keep my anxiety low due to this sudden new shift. As I too do this to others, when I need to be in my safety bubble. Empathy is not always easy. 😆

Should I be worried ?

Only if it goes on for a long time

Man cave and all that

Go out with your friends and have fun and let go a little💃🏼 ... as my Aries ex said to me "don't make your love life everything", great advice which I took 👍

stars, I am more so a shade disorientated over the change in behaviour rather than his need for space. Man cave time is real and I fully respect that, as I have also gone into my safety bubble away from him before as well.

Since he is often the one that needs to keep in touch, and writes me on his daily updates all the time. I suppose I simply got used to it, so now that it is gone. It feels a bit strange, not that I am entirely complaining either.

It has been rather refreshing, being back in my own home. Enjoying my alone time, doing things that does not require having to think of another first. Having long baths with salts, lavender, essential oils, candles etc. Going out has not been the key, I needed to recharge more so. Did not realise how much I needed it until I got back to my own home, and realised I truly missed the space of my own bed. 😆

(Though regardless I must say, excellent advice on part of the Ram.)

Isn't it crazy how women can put those things on hold because they're with a man, whereas men tend to carry on doing exactly what they want lol

click to expand

Say this all the time Stars, why do we as women meld so much for a relationship—

8 Years1,000+ Posts

Signed Up: May 08, 2017
Comments: 480 · Posts: 3567 · Topics: 13

Posted by ASCoppVenus

Posted by Jules-ll

Posted by ASCoppVenus

@theladyscorpio as you may know, i am not an aqua but have dated them many times in my life and currently dating one.... a very extreme fear of commitment like his... hmmm is this something you are willing to take on? The reason I ask is because I have experienced it with an ex. And the challenge to get a man to commit (whether it be a boyfriend-girlfriend status or marriage) is such a huge responsibility that sometimes does not lead to happiness. We can only do so much for this type of man. Ultimately, it is only he who can change himself and his views about commitment. You dont need to prove yourself. And even if you do, it wont be enough because what is lacking, is not from you. But from inside of him. And thats something that you cannot change. I gave up on the man after 4 years and some months because despite the fact that I love him, it was impossible for me to change him. It will either be you, accepting that he might never fully commit and take that risk. Or, he changes because he loves you. Or you move on and find love, not as complicated as this.

I hope you feel better. I know this is a difficult situation for you.

Our stories are so similar @ASCoppVenus, even the time frame. I grew a lot from that relationship, really opened my eyes to the fact that I choose emotionally unavailable men time and time again. I've stopped doing that because the effect is the complete opposite of what I wanted. Instead of protecting myself from attachment and vulnerability, it made me feel unwanted, frustrated and used. Fortunately I have finally found someone that cherishes me, makes me feel loved and respected. It took a long, long time and growth on my part to find, but it's so worth the wait!

Best wishes to all of us ladies in finding that perfectly imperfect counterpart...

Hey, glad to hesr you found an amazing man to love you! And yes, at one point we just know its time to go and cant do anything more for the person because we gave what we can and it wasnt working. No regrets tho! I feel like if i didnt leave him, i would not meet my man. All roads i took led me to my current aqua. And.. well its a pretty crazy thing because: my ex was an aqua and was with him for 4 years, i had an aqua fwb who i was with for 6-8 mos while i was dating others too and even dated 2 more aquas and then met my current aqua. *i wasnt sleeping around, but only did it with my ex fwb twice* and at one point when he said he didnt want to get married or have kids, it broke me but i knew then, he wasnt the one. I also gave him 1 year ultimatum to make a decision. And i stood by that. After I left, i wished him well but i really dont know. I recently got a message from our commin friend that hes been drinking more heavily and I was the only one who can control him. But then.... he isnt my responsibility anymore and I have moved on. Whether he regrets his decision or not, I dont want to know. The pain from 4 years is too much to even turn around and say i am interested to get back together.
click to expand

Thanks!

When it gets to that point, leaving is the only option without ever looking back. You don't own that situation, he's a grown man. And holy cannoli you've been with a lot of aquas, sound like me with the scorps lol.

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

12 Years10,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Jan 21, 2013
Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154

You would think leaving him to his space and alone time would make him a kinder person. It merely made his mood swings all the worse. One minute affectionate, the next cold, insensitive, if not almost rude.

If he was not a man, you would classify it as PMS. Truly mind baffling, it is pushing me further and further away.

Is that his intent and is this normal ?

9 Years25,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Sep 03, 2016
Comments: 37529 · Posts: 41243 · Topics: 331

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

You would think leaving him to his space and alone time would make him a kinder person. It merely made his mood swings all the worse. One minute affectionate, the next cold, insensitive, if not almost rude.

If he was not a man, you would classify it as PMS. Truly mind baffling, it is pushing me further and further away.

Is that his intent and is this normal ?

Not normal for someone trying to form a healthy relationship .. how do you have the energy and patience for these men, Lady?

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

12 Years10,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Jan 21, 2013
Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

You would think leaving him to his space and alone time would make him a kinder person. It merely made his mood swings all the worse. One minute affectionate, the next cold, insensitive, if not almost rude.

If he was not a man, you would classify it as PMS. Truly mind baffling, it is pushing me further and further away.

Is that his intent and is this normal ?

Not normal for someone trying to form a healthy relationship .. how do you have the energy and patience for these men, Lady?
click to expand

Well stars, I do have a threshold limit. It does not go on forever. It is also why I eventually left the Ram Gent situation, and let it be.

At the moment, as much as I am trying to ride the storm. His behaviour is causing me to want to retreat more and more into my shell. It is draining me, more so because I have done nothing to deserve this treatment.

Perhaps this may be his intent, to push me away entirely ? Could that be it ?

14 Years5,000+ PostsAries

Signed Up: Aug 16, 2011
Comments: 3 · Posts: 7849 · Topics: 52

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

You would think leaving him to his space and alone time would make him a kinder person. It merely made his mood swings all the worse. One minute affectionate, the next cold, insensitive, if not almost rude.

If he was not a man, you would classify it as PMS. Truly mind baffling, it is pushing me further and further away.

Is that his intent and is this normal ?

Not normal for someone trying to form a healthy relationship .. how do you have the energy and patience for these men, Lady?

Well stars, I do have a threshold limit. It does not go on forever. It is also why I eventually left the Ram Gent situation, and let it be.

At the moment, as much as I am trying to ride the storm. His behaviour is causing me to want to retreat more and more into my shell. It is draining me, more so because I have done nothing to deserve this treatment.

Perhaps this may be his intent, to push me away entirely ? Could that be it ?
click to expand

It doesn’t get more clearer than silence. Coupled with what has already transpired. I think you’re romanticizing it.

10 Years1,000+ PostsLeo

Signed Up: Feb 21, 2015
Comments: 1413 · Posts: 2819 · Topics: 78

I’ve dated both and honestly Scorpio wants and needs way too much emotional support. Always wanting to talk about it to the end of time and going into loops about it, it all gets crazy. It pushed me away i couldn’t imagine an air sign dealing with that on top of that all that Capricorn placement he has. Feelings and emotions are a huge no. But maybe all that Capricorn is the only thing compatible with your Scorpio. Let him come to you about feelings and emotions, or i think you’ll lose him for good. Good luck babe!

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

12 Years10,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Jan 21, 2013
Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

You would think leaving him to his space and alone time would make him a kinder person. It merely made his mood swings all the worse. One minute affectionate, the next cold, insensitive, if not almost rude.

If he was not a man, you would classify it as PMS. Truly mind baffling, it is pushing me further and further away.

Is that his intent and is this normal ?

Not normal for someone trying to form a healthy relationship .. how do you have the energy and patience for these men, Lady?

Well stars, I do have a threshold limit. It does not go on forever. It is also why I eventually left the Ram Gent situation, and let it be.

At the moment, as much as I am trying to ride the storm. His behaviour is causing me to want to retreat more and more into my shell. It is draining me, more so because I have done nothing to deserve this treatment.

Perhaps this may be his intent, to push me away entirely ? Could that be it ?

It doesn’t get more clearer than silence. Coupled with what has already transpired. I think you’re romanticizing it.
click to expand

He broke the silence actually @bkbella86, it only lasted for a day or so.

I am the last woman to be delusional, or romanticising it. Which was why I kept founding it hard to believe him initial, when he came on fast and intensely so. Keep in mind, I was the one dragging my feet with doubts.

In fact, even now I have trouble with the trust between us. I will admit it is shaky, but he renewed his vows to build it further again. Also, he and I met up again after our hiatus. He initiated it.

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

12 Years10,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Jan 21, 2013
Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154

@MoonshineLeo

Not all of us are that emotional, in fact of the Stingers I know. Some always regarded me as a bit too distant, cold, and rational. It is the airiness in my chart. In fact, most if not all our emotional conversations have always been started by him. Ever since the beginning it was like so, with the exception of that argument which for once, I started because he did something which reached my boundaries of acceptance.

He complained that I do not express my emotions enough, and when I talk, the subject matters are never emotional more so about life matters, goals, world topics, our careers etc. He said partly that is why he reacts to me this way, I am not volatile enough in an emotionally passionate way. That part only comes out if I fully trust a man, and our commitment. So my lack of all my potential warmth must bother him.

Though you are spot on regarding the Goat bits, but when he does get emotional, he really does. He had cried, and nearly cried far more times than I ever have. I do not believe I ever came close. 😐

The Lady Scorpio

@TheLadyScorpio

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Signed Up: Jan 21, 2013
Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154

Posted by peachy06

What a waste of time. Leave before he suck out all your energy.

Early days, if he reaches my threshold like the Ram Gent did. Then I will make my decision. I believe he still deserves a bit of chance.

He broke silence anyways, it did not last long before he wanted to reach out to see how I was. We met up again anyways after our hiatus, he initiated it.

14 Years5,000+ PostsAries

Signed Up: Aug 16, 2011
Comments: 3 · Posts: 7849 · Topics: 52

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by peachy06

What a waste of time. Leave before he suck out all your energy.

Early days, if he reaches my threshold like the Ram Gent did. Then I will make my decision. I believe he still deserves a bit of chance.

He broke silence anyways, it did not last long before he wanted to reach out to see how I was. We met up again anyways after our hiatus, he initiated it.
click to expand

Why does he deserve another chance? You claimed he fought tooth and nail to get you, still haven’t explained how yet tho. Only to play these games. People typically value what they fight for. How long have you been talking?

10 Years1,000+ PostsLeo

Signed Up: Feb 21, 2015
Comments: 1413 · Posts: 2819 · Topics: 78

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

@MoonshineLeo

Not all of us are that emotional, in fact of the Stingers I know. Some always regarded me as a bit too distant, cold, and rational. It is the airiness in my chart. In fact, most if not all our emotional conversations have always been started by him. Ever since the beginning it was like so, with the exception of that argument which for once, I started because he did something which reached my boundaries of acceptance.

He complained that I do not express my emotions enough, and when I talk, the subject matters are never emotional more so about life matters, goals, world topics, our careers etc. He said partly that is why he reacts to me this way, I am not volatile enough in an emotionally passionate way. That part only comes out if I fully trust a man, and our commitment. So my lack of all my potential warmth must bother him.

Though you are spot on regarding the Goat bits, but when he does get emotional, he really does. He had cried, and nearly cried far more times than I ever have. I do not believe I ever came close. 😐

What does the rest of his chart look like?

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