
The Lady Scorpio
@TheLadyScorpio
12 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154




Posted by MyStarsShine
No pressure ?
I felt under pressure reading this, Lady. Men don't always like to be asked what they're feeling or being probed 😛 ....
*My first question to him was if he felt love in his life right now. He expressed that he did not feel love. I said you do not feel love at all, not here. It took more probing to figure out that he did indeed feel love, but does not feel loved. As for himself, he is unsure of what he feels, confusion, and conflict settling in. In which I finally said, what if I told you "I love you." There was a genuine almost pained silence after it. He did not say it back. I asked him what he was feeling. He told me he was shocked, surprised, and worried (keep in mind this was the man who told me "I love you.", unprompted many a times, on his own accord)*

Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MyStarsShine
No pressure ?
I felt under pressure reading this, Lady. Men don't always like to be asked what they're feeling or being probed 😛 ....
*My first question to him was if he felt love in his life right now. He expressed that he did not feel love. I said you do not feel love at all, not here. It took more probing to figure out that he did indeed feel love, but does not feel loved. As for himself, he is unsure of what he feels, confusion, and conflict settling in. In which I finally said, what if I told you "I love you." There was a genuine almost pained silence after it. He did not say it back. I asked him what he was feeling. He told me he was shocked, surprised, and worried (keep in mind this was the man who told me "I love you.", unprompted many a times, on his own accord)*
He opened up the conversation, he broached the topics, and I know him at least in some capacity enough to know, when he wants to share something but will not, until asked. I know men do not like being asked but he wanted to talk about it. I probed and asked questioned, not for answers but because of our different languages. So we do not mistake one another, we have had miscommunications over it in the past. It was more for that, than for answers. If I did not ask questions to clarify his statements, sometimes because of our constant flipping between languages, we misunderstand the intent. It was an adapted communication skill.click to expand

Posted by ASCoppVenus
@theladyscorpio as you may know, i am not an aqua but have dated them many times in my life and currently dating one.... a very extreme fear of commitment like his... hmmm is this something you are willing to take on? The reason I ask is because I have experienced it with an ex. And the challenge to get a man to commit (whether it be a boyfriend-girlfriend status or marriage) is such a huge responsibility that sometimes does not lead to happiness. We can only do so much for this type of man. Ultimately, it is only he who can change himself and his views about commitment. You dont need to prove yourself. And even if you do, it wont be enough because what is lacking, is not from you. But from inside of him. And thats something that you cannot change. I gave up on the man after 4 years and some months because despite the fact that I love him, it was impossible for me to change him. It will either be you, accepting that he might never fully commit and take that risk. Or, he changes because he loves you. Or you move on and find love, not as complicated as this.
I hope you feel better. I know this is a difficult situation for you.

Posted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpio
@Antiochus, new update.
To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.
It's adjusting.
click to expand

Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MyStarsShine
No pressure ?
I felt under pressure reading this, Lady. Men don't always like to be asked what they're feeling or being probed 😛 ....
*My first question to him was if he felt love in his life right now. He expressed that he did not feel love. I said you do not feel love at all, not here. It took more probing to figure out that he did indeed feel love, but does not feel loved. As for himself, he is unsure of what he feels, confusion, and conflict settling in. In which I finally said, what if I told you "I love you." There was a genuine almost pained silence after it. He did not say it back. I asked him what he was feeling. He told me he was shocked, surprised, and worried (keep in mind this was the man who told me "I love you.", unprompted many a times, on his own accord)*
He opened up the conversation, he broached the topics, and I know him at least in some capacity enough to know, when he wants to share something but will not, until asked. I know men do not like being asked but he wanted to talk about it. I probed and asked questioned, not for answers but because of our different languages. So we do not mistake one another, we have had miscommunications over it in the past. It was more for that, than for answers. If I did not ask questions to clarify his statements, sometimes because of our constant flipping between languages, we misunderstand the intent. It was an adapted communication skill.
Oh different languages..that makes it even more challenging
I don't know then really
Hope you work things out ❤️click to expand

Posted by ASCoppVenus
@theladyscorpio as you may know, i am not an aqua but have dated them many times in my life and currently dating one.... a very extreme fear of commitment like his... hmmm is this something you are willing to take on? The reason I ask is because I have experienced it with an ex. And the challenge to get a man to commit (whether it be a boyfriend-girlfriend status or marriage) is such a huge responsibility that sometimes does not lead to happiness. We can only do so much for this type of man. Ultimately, it is only he who can change himself and his views about commitment. You dont need to prove yourself. And even if you do, it wont be enough because what is lacking, is not from you. But from inside of him. And thats something that you cannot change. I gave up on the man after 4 years and some months because despite the fact that I love him, it was impossible for me to change him. It will either be you, accepting that he might never fully commit and take that risk. Or, he changes because he loves you. Or you move on and find love, not as complicated as this.
I hope you feel better. I know this is a difficult situation for you.

Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MyStarsShine
No pressure ?
I felt under pressure reading this, Lady. Men don't always like to be asked what they're feeling or being probed 😛 ....
*My first question to him was if he felt love in his life right now. He expressed that he did not feel love. I said you do not feel love at all, not here. It took more probing to figure out that he did indeed feel love, but does not feel loved. As for himself, he is unsure of what he feels, confusion, and conflict settling in. In which I finally said, what if I told you "I love you." There was a genuine almost pained silence after it. He did not say it back. I asked him what he was feeling. He told me he was shocked, surprised, and worried (keep in mind this was the man who told me "I love you.", unprompted many a times, on his own accord)*
He opened up the conversation, he broached the topics, and I know him at least in some capacity enough to know, when he wants to share something but will not, until asked. I know men do not like being asked but he wanted to talk about it. I probed and asked questioned, not for answers but because of our different languages. So we do not mistake one another, we have had miscommunications over it in the past. It was more for that, than for answers. If I did not ask questions to clarify his statements, sometimes because of our constant flipping between languages, we misunderstand the intent. It was an adapted communication skill.
Oh different languages..that makes it even more challenging
I don't know then really
Hope you work things out ❤️
Yes, there are eight languages between us. Unfortunately the ones that overlap, are either my strength and his weakness, or vice versa. 😆
You are very kind Stars, and I am still reflecting on the common traits as to why I attract such men. After all, you are correct, perhaps something in my past may trigger such attractions. Thank you for once again, alerting me to further my self awareness journey. ❤️click to expand


Posted by LadyNeptune
Too much talking, not enough fucking 😈

Posted by Impulsv
Hope you don’t have to fight for him all the time n he gets it soon
It would be exhausting having to prove yourself constantly
I’m glad he was honest about it


Posted by Gobby
Aqua and Scorpio couplings... a HUGE no-no...

Posted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpio
@Antiochus, new update.
To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.
It's adjusting.
Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆
Were they all Water Bearers ?
Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.
Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.
Edit: all Cap Venus of course.click to expand

Posted by peachy06Posted by Gobby
Aqua and Scorpio couplings... a HUGE no-no...
*long sigh*click to expand

Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpio
@Antiochus, new update.
To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.
It's adjusting.
Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆
Were they all Water Bearers ?
Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.
Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.
Edit: all Cap Venus of course.
Interesting.
I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).
Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.
During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?
Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?click to expand

Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpio
@Antiochus, new update.
To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.
It's adjusting.
Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆
Were they all Water Bearers ?
Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.
Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.
Edit: all Cap Venus of course.
Interesting.
I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).
Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.
During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?
Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?
Can you post his chart when you get a birth time?
Where are his Venus and mars?click to expand

Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpio
@Antiochus, new update.
To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.
It's adjusting.
Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆
Were they all Water Bearers ?
Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.
Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.
Edit: all Cap Venus of course.
Interesting.
I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).
Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.
During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?
Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?
Can you post his chart when you get a birth time?
Where are his Venus and mars?
I do not yet have his birth time.
However Stars, he is as follows -
Water Bearer Sun
Merman Moon (possibly Ram Moon)
Goat Mercury
Goat Venus
Goat Mars
He is quite heavy in that earth energy.click to expand

Posted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpio
@Antiochus, new update.
To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.
It's adjusting.
Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆
Were they all Water Bearers ?
Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.
Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.
Edit: all Cap Venus of course.
Interesting.
I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).
Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.
During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?
Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?
Retreating is a bad idea. Brace the storm and ride the waves. It's not an attack but an attempt to tear down his own walls.
Patience, yes. Space, only occasionally.
All of it. It's close to existential and identity crisis.click to expand

Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpio
@Antiochus, new update.
To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.
It's adjusting.
Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆
Were they all Water Bearers ?
Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.
Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.
Edit: all Cap Venus of course.
Interesting.
I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).
Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.
During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?
Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?
Can you post his chart when you get a birth time?
Where are his Venus and mars?
I do not yet have his birth time.
However Stars, he is as follows -
Water Bearer Sun
Merman Moon (possibly Ram Moon)
Goat Mercury
Goat Venus
Goat Mars
He is quite heavy in that earth energy.
Very cautious chart....click to expand

Posted by peachy06Posted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpio
@Antiochus, new update.
To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.
It's adjusting.
Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆
Were they all Water Bearers ?
Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.
Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.
Edit: all Cap Venus of course.
Interesting.
I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).
Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.
During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?
Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?
Retreating is a bad idea. Brace the storm and ride the waves. It's not an attack but an attempt to tear down his own walls.
Patience, yes. Space, only occasionally.
All of it. It's close to existential and identity crisis.
Yes. I see it as a test too.click to expand

Posted by peachy06Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by peachy06Posted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpio
@Antiochus, new update.
To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.
It's adjusting.
Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆
Were they all Water Bearers ?
Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.
Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.
Edit: all Cap Venus of course.
Interesting.
I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).
Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.
During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?
Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?
Retreating is a bad idea. Brace the storm and ride the waves. It's not an attack but an attempt to tear down his own walls.
Patience, yes. Space, only occasionally.
All of it. It's close to existential and identity crisis.
Yes. I see it as a test too.
Of my patience, my loyalty or of my love ?
Not yours. His.click to expand

Posted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpio
@Antiochus, new update.
To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.
It's adjusting.
Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆
Were they all Water Bearers ?
Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.
Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.
Edit: all Cap Venus of course.
Interesting.
I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).
Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.
During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?
Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?
Retreating is a bad idea. Brace the storm and ride the waves. It's not an attack but an attempt to tear down his own walls.
Patience, yes. Space, only occasionally.
All of it. It's close to existential and identity crisis.
So the fabled existential and identity crisis is real. I truly empathise for him, it must be horrible to have to go through that.
No @Antiochus, you are correct. It did not feel like an attack, it felt like he really wanted to make sense of his own emotions and wanted to share what was going on within him. But even there, he finds himself unable to express it well, nor able to comprehend himself enough to do it justice. He was pushing me away, but it also sounded like a cry for help, or at least not to be abandoned merely for struggling, and finally being honest about it. I think because being around me, changed him, not because I forced it, but because it caused him to view life differently.
Ah, it explains why recently whenever I tried to move away to sleep alone, or turn my back towards him (mostly because I wanted to get a good nights sleep, it had nothing to do with him). He would pull me back in very closely, as if afraid I would suddenly be gone. Ironically, he said he feels I am too logical, rational, and detached at times. I told him it was because the trust is not strong enough yet for me to give him my all, that takes time despite love being present.
Do you still struggle with such issues when falling in love or when committed to someone ?
If not, how did you overcome it ?
As a Water Bearer and Goat Venus, what makes you feel loved ?
Yes, it's real but I think it's something we go through only when we truly fall in love and only once.
I've loved only once and will never again. Back then I went through the whole process over years.
I didn't overcome it.
Can only speak for myself but I don't think there is anything that can give me that feeling.
click to expand

Posted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpio
@Antiochus, new update.
To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.
It's adjusting.
Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆
Were they all Water Bearers ?
Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.
Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.
Edit: all Cap Venus of course.
Interesting.
I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).
Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.
During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?
Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?
Retreating is a bad idea. Brace the storm and ride the waves. It's not an attack but an attempt to tear down his own walls.
Patience, yes. Space, only occasionally.
All of it. It's close to existential and identity crisis.
So the fabled existential and identity crisis is real. I truly empathise for him, it must be horrible to have to go through that.
No @Antiochus, you are correct. It did not feel like an attack, it felt like he really wanted to make sense of his own emotions and wanted to share what was going on within him. But even there, he finds himself unable to express it well, nor able to comprehend himself enough to do it justice. He was pushing me away, but it also sounded like a cry for help, or at least not to be abandoned merely for struggling, and finally being honest about it. I think because being around me, changed him, not because I forced it, but because it caused him to view life differently.
Ah, it explains why recently whenever I tried to move away to sleep alone, or turn my back towards him (mostly because I wanted to get a good nights sleep, it had nothing to do with him). He would pull me back in very closely, as if afraid I would suddenly be gone. Ironically, he said he feels I am too logical, rational, and detached at times. I told him it was because the trust is not strong enough yet for me to give him my all, that takes time despite love being present.
Do you still struggle with such issues when falling in love or when committed to someone ?
If not, how did you overcome it ?
As a Water Bearer and Goat Venus, what makes you feel loved ?
Yes, it's real but I think it's something we go through only when we truly fall in love and only once.
I've loved only once and will never again. Back then I went through the whole process over years.
I didn't overcome it.
Can only speak for myself but I don't think there is anything that can give me that feeling.
click to expand

Posted by peachy06Posted by Jules-llPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpio
@Antiochus, new update.
To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.
It's adjusting.
Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆
Were they all Water Bearers ?
Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.
Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.
Edit: all Cap Venus of course.
Interesting.
I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).
Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.
During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?
Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?
Retreating is a bad idea. Brace the storm and ride the waves. It's not an attack but an attempt to tear down his own walls.
Patience, yes. Space, only occasionally.
All of it. It's close to existential and identity crisis.
So the fabled existential and identity crisis is real. I truly empathise for him, it must be horrible to have to go through that.
No @Antiochus, you are correct. It did not feel like an attack, it felt like he really wanted to make sense of his own emotions and wanted to share what was going on within him. But even there, he finds himself unable to express it well, nor able to comprehend himself enough to do it justice. He was pushing me away, but it also sounded like a cry for help, or at least not to be abandoned merely for struggling, and finally being honest about it. I think because being around me, changed him, not because I forced it, but because it caused him to view life differently.
Ah, it explains why recently whenever I tried to move away to sleep alone, or turn my back towards him (mostly because I wanted to get a good nights sleep, it had nothing to do with him). He would pull me back in very closely, as if afraid I would suddenly be gone. Ironically, he said he feels I am too logical, rational, and detached at times. I told him it was because the trust is not strong enough yet for me to give him my all, that takes time despite love being present.
Do you still struggle with such issues when falling in love or when committed to someone ?
If not, how did you overcome it ?
As a Water Bearer and Goat Venus, what makes you feel loved ?
Yes, it's real but I think it's something we go through only when we truly fall in love and only once.
I've loved only once and will never again. Back then I went through the whole process over years.
I didn't overcome it.
Can only speak for myself but I don't think there is anything that can give me that feeling.
You sound like my aqua sister, where is your moon @Antiochus?
He's a Sag moonclick to expand


Posted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpio
@Antiochus, new update.
To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.
It's adjusting.
Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆
Were they all Water Bearers ?
Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.
Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.
Edit: all Cap Venus of course.
Interesting.
I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).
Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.
During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?
Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?
Retreating is a bad idea. Brace the storm and ride the waves. It's not an attack but an attempt to tear down his own walls.
Patience, yes. Space, only occasionally.
All of it. It's close to existential and identity crisis.
So the fabled existential and identity crisis is real. I truly empathise for him, it must be horrible to have to go through that.
No @Antiochus, you are correct. It did not feel like an attack, it felt like he really wanted to make sense of his own emotions and wanted to share what was going on within him. But even there, he finds himself unable to express it well, nor able to comprehend himself enough to do it justice. He was pushing me away, but it also sounded like a cry for help, or at least not to be abandoned merely for struggling, and finally being honest about it. I think because being around me, changed him, not because I forced it, but because it caused him to view life differently.
Ah, it explains why recently whenever I tried to move away to sleep alone, or turn my back towards him (mostly because I wanted to get a good nights sleep, it had nothing to do with him). He would pull me back in very closely, as if afraid I would suddenly be gone. Ironically, he said he feels I am too logical, rational, and detached at times. I told him it was because the trust is not strong enough yet for me to give him my all, that takes time despite love being present.
Do you still struggle with such issues when falling in love or when committed to someone ?
If not, how did you overcome it ?
As a Water Bearer and Goat Venus, what makes you feel loved ?
Yes, it's real but I think it's something we go through only when we truly fall in love and only once.
I've loved only once and will never again. Back then I went through the whole process over years.
I didn't overcome it.
Can only speak for myself but I don't think there is anything that can give me that feeling.
When you said you did not overcome it.
Do you mean you never committed to her, or always struggled to love her, believe she loved you ?
Do clarify.
Commitment isn't the problem, neither was loving her. I never thought she loved or cared about me.
The problem was and is to endure love. Overcoming would imply an end of love. The struggle will always be there but will get easier and less demanding for both sides.click to expand

Posted by Waterbearerwearer
He doesn’t sound Aqua at all sorry...
A fire moon isn’t coming to the party in a reciperacal relo and it drowns a lot of the Aqua out which is already detriment as a sun sign.
They can be so disorientating (fire moon) and so can Aqua sun but it’s in very polar opposite ways.
Firstly Aqua will never ask how do you love me or why.... that’s so strange. If he discusses these issues on the regular I’d say he’s gloating and not really concerned about your emotional welfare.
This is about him.
I have an airy moon and that kind of postulating grosses me out... I know what energy I bring and most Aqua don’t care about feels or lip service they watch more of what you do.
We are action orientated people and operate from the neck up.
Aqua men express love with their service and sex and as stated previously Aqua men romanticise their love through their delivery of it.
You know you’re loved by Aqua as opposed to feeling loved. Hard to explain.
Love isn’t sitting around discussing why you love someone or pushing them away.


Posted by TheLadyScorpio
He has gone radio silent, which has never happened before. Not in all the time that we had known one another, since the very beginning. We would somehow in one way or another, reach out to each other, to say hello etc.
I have been giving him alone time, he also requested for it. Being back at my own home, away from it also helps me regain a sense of peace yet this new found silence. As much as I hate to admit it, unnerves me. I am respecting it, but the fact that he is closing off, and keeping me out. Almost seems unfair, despite the fact that I see his statuses have shown him to be around rather often. Though to keep from driving myself mad, I try my best to keep my anxiety low due to this sudden new shift. As I too do this to others, when I need to be in my safety bubble. Empathy is not always easy. 😆
Should I be worried ?


Posted by TheLadyScorpio
He has gone radio silent, which has never happened before. Not in all the time that we had known one another, since the very beginning. We would somehow in one way or another, reach out to each other, to say hello etc.
I have been giving him alone time, he also requested for it. Being back at my own home, away from it also helps me regain a sense of peace yet this new found silence. As much as I hate to admit it, unnerves me. I am respecting it, but the fact that he is closing off, and keeping me out. Almost seems unfair, despite the fact that I see his statuses have shown him to be around rather often. Though to keep from driving myself mad, I try my best to keep my anxiety low due to this sudden new shift. As I too do this to others, when I need to be in my safety bubble. Empathy is not always easy. 😆
Should I be worried ?

Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpio
@Antiochus, new update.
To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.
It's adjusting.
Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆
Were they all Water Bearers ?
Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.
Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.
Edit: all Cap Venus of course.
Interesting.
I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).
Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.
During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?
Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?
Can you post his chart when you get a birth time?
Where are his Venus and mars?
I do not yet have his birth time.
However Stars, he is as follows -
Water Bearer Sun
Merman Moon (possibly Ram Moon)
Goat Mercury
Goat Venus
Goat Mars
He is quite heavy in that earth energy.click to expand

Posted by AntiochusPosted by peachy06Posted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by AntiochusPosted by TheLadyScorpio
@Antiochus, new update.
To be frank: Yes, that's normal. I have seen this kind of behaviour in me but also my mother and a one of my mothers friend.
It's adjusting.
Hah @Antiochus please, be frank. You are welcome to. 😆
Were they all Water Bearers ?
Yes, all Aquas. First decan I think.
Mother has a Scorp moon and the friend a Sag moon like me.
Edit: all Cap Venus of course.
Interesting.
I believe he is also a first decan if I remember correctly. He has a Merman Moon (probable Ram Moon).
Frankly, when he goes a bit mad flip flopping. My airiness makes me want to retreat, to my own safety bubble to keep from going insane. The fact that he shared that he feels my love but does not feel loved enough at times. If he only knew, if he was more stable and consistant, I would let that love flow with full abandon.
During this transition and adjustment period, is patience and space what you lot need ? He seems to want space, but not so much that he cannot ‘feel’ me around him. What would be the best way to go about it, or rather what would you lot best need ?
Edit: During this period, are you lot going through a lot of anxiety, panic, and conflict or confusion ... which is it ?
Retreating is a bad idea. Brace the storm and ride the waves. It's not an attack but an attempt to tear down his own walls.
Patience, yes. Space, only occasionally.
All of it. It's close to existential and identity crisis.
So the fabled existential and identity crisis is real. I truly empathise for him, it must be horrible to have to go through that.
No @Antiochus, you are correct. It did not feel like an attack, it felt like he really wanted to make sense of his own emotions and wanted to share what was going on within him. But even there, he finds himself unable to express it well, nor able to comprehend himself enough to do it justice. He was pushing me away, but it also sounded like a cry for help, or at least not to be abandoned merely for struggling, and finally being honest about it. I think because being around me, changed him, not because I forced it, but because it caused him to view life differently.
Ah, it explains why recently whenever I tried to move away to sleep alone, or turn my back towards him (mostly because I wanted to get a good nights sleep, it had nothing to do with him). He would pull me back in very closely, as if afraid I would suddenly be gone. Ironically, he said he feels I am too logical, rational, and detached at times. I told him it was because the trust is not strong enough yet for me to give him my all, that takes time despite love being present.
Do you still struggle with such issues when falling in love or when committed to someone ?
If not, how did you overcome it ?
As a Water Bearer and Goat Venus, what makes you feel loved ?
Yes, it's real but I think it's something we go through only when we truly fall in love and only once.
I've loved only once and will never again. Back then I went through the whole process over years.
I didn't overcome it.
Can only speak for myself but I don't think there is anything that can give me that feeling.
When you said you did not overcome it.
Do you mean you never committed to her, or always struggled to love her, believe she loved you ?
Do clarify.
Commitment isn't the problem, neither was loving her. I never thought she loved or cared about me.
The problem was and is to endure love. Overcoming would imply an end of love. The struggle will always be there but will get easier and less demanding for both sides.
Do Gemini really have this effect on people or ? It's crazy how they fuck up people, even Aquarius can't resist them... But I understand. It took me a while to get over a guy some years ago. I trully believe we can only love once.
Not in general, no. If you just constantly give them what they want all is good but that's rarely the right course of action. She was and is unique. Not like your usual Gemini. With usual Geminis it's mostly the other way around and they have to fight their way into an Aquas life.
RxVenus peoples relationships are supposed to be carmic, if you believe in past lifes that is.
Our synastry could be considered to be good and bad at the same time. Both biographies are difficult as well.
All in all I agree. We love only once and then that's it.click to expand

Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by TheLadyScorpio
He has gone radio silent, which has never happened before. Not in all the time that we had known one another, since the very beginning. We would somehow in one way or another, reach out to each other, to say hello etc.
I have been giving him alone time, he also requested for it. Being back at my own home, away from it also helps me regain a sense of peace yet this new found silence. As much as I hate to admit it, unnerves me. I am respecting it, but the fact that he is closing off, and keeping me out. Almost seems unfair, despite the fact that I see his statuses have shown him to be around rather often. Though to keep from driving myself mad, I try my best to keep my anxiety low due to this sudden new shift. As I too do this to others, when I need to be in my safety bubble. Empathy is not always easy. 😆
Should I be worried ?
Only if it goes on for a long time
Man cave and all that
Go out with your friends and have fun and let go a little💃🏼 ... as my Aries ex said to me "don't make your love life everything", great advice which I took 👍click to expand

Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by TheLadyScorpio
He has gone radio silent, which has never happened before. Not in all the time that we had known one another, since the very beginning. We would somehow in one way or another, reach out to each other, to say hello etc.
I have been giving him alone time, he also requested for it. Being back at my own home, away from it also helps me regain a sense of peace yet this new found silence. As much as I hate to admit it, unnerves me. I am respecting it, but the fact that he is closing off, and keeping me out. Almost seems unfair, despite the fact that I see his statuses have shown him to be around rather often. Though to keep from driving myself mad, I try my best to keep my anxiety low due to this sudden new shift. As I too do this to others, when I need to be in my safety bubble. Empathy is not always easy. 😆
Should I be worried ?
Only if it goes on for a long time
Man cave and all that
Go out with your friends and have fun and let go a little💃🏼 ... as my Aries ex said to me "don't make your love life everything", great advice which I took 👍
stars, I am more so a shade disorientated over the change in behaviour rather than his need for space. Man cave time is real and I fully respect that, as I have also gone into my safety bubble away from him before as well.
Since he is often the one that needs to keep in touch, and writes me on his daily updates all the time. I suppose I simply got used to it, so now that it is gone. It feels a bit strange, not that I am entirely complaining either.
It has been rather refreshing, being back in my own home. Enjoying my alone time, doing things that does not require having to think of another first. Having long baths with salts, lavender, essential oils, candles etc. Going out has not been the key, I needed to recharge more so. Did not realise how much I needed it until I got back to my own home, and realised I truly missed the space of my own bed. 😆
(Though regardless I must say, excellent advice on part of the Ram.)click to expand

Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by TheLadyScorpio
He has gone radio silent, which has never happened before. Not in all the time that we had known one another, since the very beginning. We would somehow in one way or another, reach out to each other, to say hello etc.
I have been giving him alone time, he also requested for it. Being back at my own home, away from it also helps me regain a sense of peace yet this new found silence. As much as I hate to admit it, unnerves me. I am respecting it, but the fact that he is closing off, and keeping me out. Almost seems unfair, despite the fact that I see his statuses have shown him to be around rather often. Though to keep from driving myself mad, I try my best to keep my anxiety low due to this sudden new shift. As I too do this to others, when I need to be in my safety bubble. Empathy is not always easy. 😆
Should I be worried ?
Only if it goes on for a long time
Man cave and all that
Go out with your friends and have fun and let go a little💃🏼 ... as my Aries ex said to me "don't make your love life everything", great advice which I took 👍
stars, I am more so a shade disorientated over the change in behaviour rather than his need for space. Man cave time is real and I fully respect that, as I have also gone into my safety bubble away from him before as well.
Since he is often the one that needs to keep in touch, and writes me on his daily updates all the time. I suppose I simply got used to it, so now that it is gone. It feels a bit strange, not that I am entirely complaining either.
It has been rather refreshing, being back in my own home. Enjoying my alone time, doing things that does not require having to think of another first. Having long baths with salts, lavender, essential oils, candles etc. Going out has not been the key, I needed to recharge more so. Did not realise how much I needed it until I got back to my own home, and realised I truly missed the space of my own bed. 😆
(Though regardless I must say, excellent advice on part of the Ram.)
Isn't it crazy how women can put those things on hold because they're with a man, whereas men tend to carry on doing exactly what they want lol
click to expand

Posted by ASCoppVenusPosted by Jules-llPosted by ASCoppVenus
@theladyscorpio as you may know, i am not an aqua but have dated them many times in my life and currently dating one.... a very extreme fear of commitment like his... hmmm is this something you are willing to take on? The reason I ask is because I have experienced it with an ex. And the challenge to get a man to commit (whether it be a boyfriend-girlfriend status or marriage) is such a huge responsibility that sometimes does not lead to happiness. We can only do so much for this type of man. Ultimately, it is only he who can change himself and his views about commitment. You dont need to prove yourself. And even if you do, it wont be enough because what is lacking, is not from you. But from inside of him. And thats something that you cannot change. I gave up on the man after 4 years and some months because despite the fact that I love him, it was impossible for me to change him. It will either be you, accepting that he might never fully commit and take that risk. Or, he changes because he loves you. Or you move on and find love, not as complicated as this.
I hope you feel better. I know this is a difficult situation for you.
Our stories are so similar @ASCoppVenus, even the time frame. I grew a lot from that relationship, really opened my eyes to the fact that I choose emotionally unavailable men time and time again. I've stopped doing that because the effect is the complete opposite of what I wanted. Instead of protecting myself from attachment and vulnerability, it made me feel unwanted, frustrated and used. Fortunately I have finally found someone that cherishes me, makes me feel loved and respected. It took a long, long time and growth on my part to find, but it's so worth the wait!
Best wishes to all of us ladies in finding that perfectly imperfect counterpart...
Hey, glad to hesr you found an amazing man to love you! And yes, at one point we just know its time to go and cant do anything more for the person because we gave what we can and it wasnt working. No regrets tho! I feel like if i didnt leave him, i would not meet my man. All roads i took led me to my current aqua. And.. well its a pretty crazy thing because: my ex was an aqua and was with him for 4 years, i had an aqua fwb who i was with for 6-8 mos while i was dating others too and even dated 2 more aquas and then met my current aqua. *i wasnt sleeping around, but only did it with my ex fwb twice* and at one point when he said he didnt want to get married or have kids, it broke me but i knew then, he wasnt the one. I also gave him 1 year ultimatum to make a decision. And i stood by that. After I left, i wished him well but i really dont know. I recently got a message from our commin friend that hes been drinking more heavily and I was the only one who can control him. But then.... he isnt my responsibility anymore and I have moved on. Whether he regrets his decision or not, I dont want to know. The pain from 4 years is too much to even turn around and say i am interested to get back together.click to expand


Posted by TheLadyScorpio
You would think leaving him to his space and alone time would make him a kinder person. It merely made his mood swings all the worse. One minute affectionate, the next cold, insensitive, if not almost rude.
If he was not a man, you would classify it as PMS. Truly mind baffling, it is pushing me further and further away.
Is that his intent and is this normal ?

Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by TheLadyScorpio
You would think leaving him to his space and alone time would make him a kinder person. It merely made his mood swings all the worse. One minute affectionate, the next cold, insensitive, if not almost rude.
If he was not a man, you would classify it as PMS. Truly mind baffling, it is pushing me further and further away.
Is that his intent and is this normal ?
Not normal for someone trying to form a healthy relationship .. how do you have the energy and patience for these men, Lady?click to expand
Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by TheLadyScorpio
You would think leaving him to his space and alone time would make him a kinder person. It merely made his mood swings all the worse. One minute affectionate, the next cold, insensitive, if not almost rude.
If he was not a man, you would classify it as PMS. Truly mind baffling, it is pushing me further and further away.
Is that his intent and is this normal ?
Not normal for someone trying to form a healthy relationship .. how do you have the energy and patience for these men, Lady?
Well stars, I do have a threshold limit. It does not go on forever. It is also why I eventually left the Ram Gent situation, and let it be.
At the moment, as much as I am trying to ride the storm. His behaviour is causing me to want to retreat more and more into my shell. It is draining me, more so because I have done nothing to deserve this treatment.
Perhaps this may be his intent, to push me away entirely ? Could that be it ?click to expand


Posted by bkbella86Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by TheLadyScorpio
You would think leaving him to his space and alone time would make him a kinder person. It merely made his mood swings all the worse. One minute affectionate, the next cold, insensitive, if not almost rude.
If he was not a man, you would classify it as PMS. Truly mind baffling, it is pushing me further and further away.
Is that his intent and is this normal ?
Not normal for someone trying to form a healthy relationship .. how do you have the energy and patience for these men, Lady?
Well stars, I do have a threshold limit. It does not go on forever. It is also why I eventually left the Ram Gent situation, and let it be.
At the moment, as much as I am trying to ride the storm. His behaviour is causing me to want to retreat more and more into my shell. It is draining me, more so because I have done nothing to deserve this treatment.
Perhaps this may be his intent, to push me away entirely ? Could that be it ?
It doesn’t get more clearer than silence. Coupled with what has already transpired. I think you’re romanticizing it.click to expand


Posted by peachy06
What a waste of time. Leave before he suck out all your energy.
Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by peachy06
What a waste of time. Leave before he suck out all your energy.
Early days, if he reaches my threshold like the Ram Gent did. Then I will make my decision. I believe he still deserves a bit of chance.
He broke silence anyways, it did not last long before he wanted to reach out to see how I was. We met up again anyways after our hiatus, he initiated it.click to expand

Posted by TheLadyScorpio
@MoonshineLeo
Not all of us are that emotional, in fact of the Stingers I know. Some always regarded me as a bit too distant, cold, and rational. It is the airiness in my chart. In fact, most if not all our emotional conversations have always been started by him. Ever since the beginning it was like so, with the exception of that argument which for once, I started because he did something which reached my boundaries of acceptance.
He complained that I do not express my emotions enough, and when I talk, the subject matters are never emotional more so about life matters, goals, world topics, our careers etc. He said partly that is why he reacts to me this way, I am not volatile enough in an emotionally passionate way. That part only comes out if I fully trust a man, and our commitment. So my lack of all my potential warmth must bother him.
Though you are spot on regarding the Goat bits, but when he does get emotional, he really does. He had cried, and nearly cried far more times than I ever have. I do not believe I ever came close. 😐
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Thank you to those who had offered advice in my previous thread, I really appreciate it.
This is a continuation of what has occurred since.
After our argument, the days proceeding it. He never directly apologised but through his actions he did show regret and remorse. However, his moods still continues to fluctuate, going between affectionate and caring, highly expressive, to distant, closed off, and cold. Though I must say, around his home, his habits has begun to change. Everything in which I told him before, would make things better, he not only remembered but knowing changed. Since he was being inconsistent, I had also chosen to take time away, a few days to return back to my own home. To allow him some space, and alone time.
Recently, he awkwardly if not shyly opened up a conversation with me. He told me he felt incomplete, that he is happy but his work, love, personal, and professional life seems to be missing something. I told him that is contentment and not happiness. Which he argued that he is happy, as compared to many others, what he has is happiness. I warned him not to compare himself to others, the happiness of others and what they want / need in order to feel that way, may not be exactly what he wants / needs. Everybody has different notion of happiness, to compare yourself with others in any capacity is the quickest way to unhappiness, a spiral down to a personal hell. We then discussed what would make him happy, which lead to the discussion of love.
My first question to him was if he felt love in his life right now. He expressed that he did not feel love. I said you do not feel love at all, not here. It took more probing to figure out that he did indeed feel love, but does not feel loved. As for himself, he is unsure of what he feels, confusion, and conflict settling in. In which I finally said, what if I told you "I love you." There was a genuine almost pained silence after it. He did not say it back. I asked him what he was feeling. He told me he was shocked, surprised, and worried (keep in mind this was the man who told me "I love you.", unprompted many a times, on his own accord).
Had to dig some more, to realise he was shocked and surprised because as much as he wanted to hear it from me. He was as equally in a state of finding it hard to believe that someone like me would or could love him, especially in this short amount of time. A part of him believed, then there was the other part full of doubts. So many questions began to flow from him, he asked why I would love him, or how I could love him, what I loved about him etc. I shared with him exactly what and why. Also told him, I have been around the block enough times to know when and what I feel. No longer do I want life to pass me by, if I feel something I will share it and express it. There simply was no point in playing games, or hiding what I truly felt from the one I care about. The fact that I was so certain, my courage almost baffled him. As I said it without pressure for him to express it from his side, I merely expressed what I did. Got him to open up even more.
He was worried because he did not want to hurt me. In which caused me to question him a bit more. Finally, he admitted that he has been a bastard to me, treating me with poor behaviour, that he was fully consciously aware of it. That I was entirely right all along, and the fact that I dealt with his inconsistency and coldness so calmly, more so than any woman would, impressed him. The fact, that during the argument, I called him out on his behaviour, how it was not right, also caused him to respect me a lot more. He confessed that he knew I was clever, but to prove that he cannot get away with his bastard ways, really cemented the fact that I knew what was going on. I asked whether or not he enjoys being a bastard to me. He looked appalled, and said of course not, I hate it, I hate myself for doing this to you, you do not deserve it, and it is not right.
In my past, I have never treated a woman like this before, always being sweet, giving, and accommodating. You are the first woman, I feel so compelled to treat worse and worse, the more I felt for you. As if the more he felt for me, the more he has to push me away. The more he felt for me, the more he had to lose, so self sabotage. However, I have been hurt many times, in love. I told him so have I, as everyone else has as well. That is no excuse. Jokingly, I said I find that hard to believe because look here, how lucky of a woman I am, the one who treats him the best ends up with the worst of him. Bloody hell, he looked like he was going to cry, and no it was not an act. He genuinely looked like I stabbed him right in heart and through his gut. So I asked, why do it.
More confessions, he declared that he has never felt this way before with any other woman. When he is with me, everything is special, it is all incomparable. No woman ever made him feel this way, nor has he ever felt this strongly for any other woman before either. Life with me, living together, is easy, it is unique, no other experience could be compared, nothing ever came close. No woman meant this much, or caused so many changes in him / his life. I might think this is it, that you might be the one (then he corrected himself), I think you are the one. He was worried, because despite this, he is so confused, and conflicted over his own emotions. They are so big, so overwhelming, that he has doubts some days, as if something is missing but then realises maybe there is not. He does not know anything any more.
At this point, we went into about thirty minutes or so of silence as he panicked, and his anxiety over the emotions went through the roof. I though he would want me gone, or something as equally as bad. That was not the case, he admitted he liked my attention, he liked what we have, it is one of the best things he has had. Again in jest, I said "but you do not like me". is that the second part of that statement. He refuted it, and said that is not the case. I told him he had an out, I expressed myself but in no way am I pressuring him into anything and he told me he is aware of that. I told him is it because I was too nice to him, and he said no, because as nice as you are I know you could take it all away from me and you are no doormat. I told him he will always have his freedom and independence, I do not believe in taking it away from him. He told me, one day, he will not be able to do whatever he wants to do. I was baffled by it. He essentially shared that in the future, he hopes someone will stop him from being that freedom fighting, independence loving man that he is, and almost force / cause him to settle down for good.
Now keep in mind, I am not one that believes in force. I strongly believe in ones free will and for an individual to make their own decisions but it is as if he wants me to fight for him, to fight for him to change, to change enough to commit. As if he needs evidence and proof, for what ? to soothe his insecurities, his lack of self confidence ? to silence his doubts ? to stop his self sabotaging ways ? to show my love enough so he could rest peacefully in it, in full belief
Is this normal Water Bearer behaviour of fighting his own inner battle of commitment (there has been no pressure on my side, and he knows it) ?