Lost the hots for my aqua man :-/

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rockTenn
@rockTenn
16 Years

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Hello Everyone!

Ok so long story short, I can safely say that the googley eyed phase is over for me.

I need to understand myself a bit better to identify why...but hey...I’m an Aries so this could just be some typical Aries loss of interest. Trust me, I have my reasons, but can admit that I’m not feeling like a ā€œqueenā€ in his life and that’s the primary reason.

I want to just be friends now. No kissing, sex, etc. Should I tell him or just let it fade out?
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rockTenn
@rockTenn
16 Years

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@Leo188881 I get why you suggest this route & I've already thought to do this myself bc I know it will work. Unfortunately my ego is too big and I’m not disgusted by him (yet)...just don’t want to date him anymore. For what it’s worth (mars in Scorpio here) once upon a time we’d need to change the sheets after sex, the other day I almost grabbed some lube.

I hate to say it, but I’m thinking it’s best to just be honest. I don’t think he will stalk, but he will go the extra mile to ramp up the very things that have turned me off in the first place. At which point I will actually become annoyed, but I’ve figured out how to tease him such that he cuts out the silly shit.
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rockTenn
@rockTenn
16 Years

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Posted by Smidge
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Smidge
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Smidge
Posted by Leo188881
I don't know if you can let it fade out. Aqua like space so he'll probably just think you're giving it to him.

If you want to lose him, you need to step up the clingy neediness. Send texts, followed by why haven't you replied? What are you doing? Why are you ignoring me? Why have you become distant? Then tell him that he can't give you the affection and time you need in a relationship but that you care for him and would like to remain friends.
So, make him think it's his fault?

Wow.



He's not making her feel special or cared for. If she flat out dumps him, she runs the risk of obsessed stalker status. At least this way he'll feel it's mutual because she's annoying..


He's not making her feel like a "queen" in her words. Not necessarily his fault.

All she has to say is the truth, she doesn't need to act clingy just so she can blame him.

That's all kinds of fecked up.


It's to put him off, not to blame him. That way he doesn't get as hurt because he wont like her either so he doesn't feel so dumped. They're bad at being dumped. It might be fucked up but I think it's kinder to make him feel like he doesn't like you so he can get over it, than to flat out dump him while he has feelings
Sounds complicated and unnecessary to me.

click to expand

The mature part of me agrees that it’s unnecessary, but honesty isn’t always the best policy. Sometimes being clever gets the job done better.
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LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

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Posted by rockTenn
I prefer to let things fade out, but then I notice he starts making extra effort....effort that doesn’t change my mind... Sucks bc we have lots of fun and I don’t want to lose the social aspect of our friendship.
Sorry to break it to you but unless you were friends years prior to dating...you aren’t friends. He approached and pursued you because he’s romantically interested. If he agrees to being friends it’s because he’s hoping for another shot at the pussy, not because he wants to be a friend fixture in your life.
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rockTenn
@rockTenn
16 Years

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Posted by Ikyfl
Posted by rockTenn
Posted by Ikyfl
šŸ¤¦šŸ½ā€ā™€ļø

Aries always on here making the rest of us look bad
Lmfao! Wow, so me no longer wanting to be intimate with him is making all Aries look bad?

I guess we only look good when we let aquas have their way with us. I thought I was being an upstanding citizen by seeking input on how to handle this.
You need to know how to handle a breakup in a way that you can still use him when it is advantageous to you. That’s why the facepalm.

click to expand

Trolling
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rockTenn
@rockTenn
16 Years

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Posted by LadyNeptune
Looking through your other posts you say you’ve been with this aqua 4-5 years?

Please don’t ghost someone who has invested so much time in you. It’s just not classy. He deserves a face to face break up.
I agree. He fakes like he’s extremely emotionless, can lose anyone any time & not care...so I’ve assumed that applies to me as well, but just in case it doesn’t I’ll let him know I don’t want to date him anymore.
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LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

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Posted by rockTenn
Posted by LadyNeptune
Looking through your other posts you say you’ve been with this aqua 4-5 years?

Please don’t ghost someone who has invested so much time in you. It’s just not classy. He deserves a face to face break up.
I agree. He fakes like he’s extremely emotionless, can lose anyone any time & not care...so I’ve assumed that applies to me as well, but just in case it doesn’t I’ll let him know I don’t want to date him anymore.
click to expand

Don’t assume. Tell him how his behavior makes you feel. Communicate what you need. 5 years is a long time to just throw away without making one last effort.
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

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Posted by sultrykitty
How do you know that he isn't thinking the same thing? Aquas tend to sabotage relationships they're not happy in so that the other person will break up with them first






i saw that in Ashton Kutcher. smh. a mile away.



guess he wanted to have children badly so he got with mila kunis and they started making babies.



although not sure about other aquas. lol it might have to do with his placements.

super stelliuim 5-6 aqua with cancer mars.



yeah it might have to do with different placements and upbringing/circumstances.

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rockTenn
@rockTenn
16 Years

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Posted by Seleukos
Posted by rockTenn
Hello Everyone!

Ok so long story short, I can safely say that the googley eyed phase is over for me.

I need to understand myself a bit better to identify why...but hey...I’m an Aries so this could just be some typical Aries loss of interest. Trust me, I have my reasons, but can admit that I’m not feeling like a ā€œqueenā€ in his life and that’s the primary reason.

I want to just be friends now. No kissing, sex, etc. Should I tell him or just let it fade out?
I never understood the queen thing.

I understand the need to get attention and to be wanted.

Wouldn't is be enough that he wants to spend time with you, assuming that would be the case?
click to expand

Good question! In my case attention & being wanted has made my happy for a fair amount of time.

He’s giving that to other women also. Leaving me feeling that I’m honestly just a FWB...not very queen-like. This can be spun to say it’s not so much about feeling I’m a queen, but wanting a commitment. Either way, it’s made me lose the hots bc what turned me on was how I perceived him and perceived his feelings toward me. Now I perceive it as everything with a vagina gets the same.

Follow me?
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rockTenn
@rockTenn
16 Years

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I think I’ve nailed what’s killing the hots for me on top of not feeling like a queen. he’s way too into picking and analyzing my brain that he’s not revealing what’s going on in his. Leaving me blind. Not his fault nor do I feel I’m the bad person for how I feel. I’m not ripping aqua men and I’m not a bad selfish person for my current feelings. Each of us are being who we are and some incompatibilities are revealing themselves.

Do I think he’s trying to break up with me? Maybe.

Do I think I’m trying to break up with him? Maybe.

I have no ghosting plans, but really just don’t think it warrants a discussion with him. All I’d be saying is I don’t think we should continue a sexual relationship. He claims to have non sexual relationships with a few ladies that he once had sex with so this is normal for him. Plus if you see my past posts, I did overcome a drinking habit which I warned him that the sober version of me takes life more serious where I reprioritize my focus/attention. A truly good reward for me & the man that loves me like a queen
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sultrykitty
@sultrykitty
10 Years5,000+ Posts

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Posted by rockTenn
I think I’ve nailed what’s killing the hots for me on top of not feeling like a queen. he’s way too into picking and analyzing my brain that he’s not revealing what’s going on in his. Leaving me blind. Not his fault nor do I feel I’m the bad person for how I feel. I’m not ripping aqua men and I’m not a bad selfish person for my current feelings. Each of us are being who we are and some incompatibilities are revealing themselves.

Do I think he’s trying to break up with me? Maybe.

Do I think I’m trying to break up with him? Maybe.

I have no ghosting plans, but really just don’t think it warrants a discussion with him. All I’d be saying is I don’t think we should continue a sexual relationship. He claims to have non sexual relationships with a few ladies that he once had sex with so this is normal for him. Plus if you see my past posts, I did overcome a drinking habit which I warned him that the sober version of me takes life more serious where I reprioritize my focus/attention. A truly good reward for me & the man that loves me like a queen
This is pretty typical Aqua, IME. No judgement at all, most women really aren't on board with it and there's nothing wrong with that.

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rockTenn
@rockTenn
16 Years

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Posted by Seleukos
Posted by JadeAlexander
Posted by Seleukos
Posted by rockTenn
I think I’ve nailed what’s killing the hots for me on top of not feeling like a queen. he’s way too into picking and analyzing my brain that he’s not revealing what’s going on in his. Leaving me blind. Not his fault nor do I feel I’m the bad person for how I feel. I’m not ripping aqua men and I’m not a bad selfish person for my current feelings. Each of us are being who we are and some incompatibilities are revealing themselves.

Do I think he’s trying to break up with me? Maybe.

Do I think I’m trying to break up with him? Maybe.

I have no ghosting plans, but really just don’t think it warrants a discussion with him. All I’d be saying is I don’t think we should continue a sexual relationship. He claims to have non sexual relationships with a few ladies that he once had sex with so this is normal for him. Plus if you see my past posts, I did overcome a drinking habit which I warned him that the sober version of me takes life more serious where I reprioritize my focus/attention. A truly good reward for me & the man that loves me like a queen
Relax, there is no need to be overly defensive.

No one said you're a bad person or selfish for wanting to be just one of many vaginas.

I think that's something everyone can relate to. No likes to be or feel "used".

Just wanting a serious commitment instead of fooling around is also very understandable.

I've read the thread. I don't just jump in and ask pointless questions but because I've read it I needed to ask what you meant with "queen", so we are clear of the words meaning you had in mind.

If it's over for you, yeah, just tell him. He might become a bit clingy or annoying but that's his problem.


That’s what Blocking is for! Problem

Solved.


True, but only if he goes full Aqua crazy.

Until that point everyone deserves to be heard and hey maybe, just maybe, both parties can find a solution for themselves and each other.
click to expand

I swear I don’t think he will go Aqua crazy and wouldn’t even think of it had it not been mentioned twice here...but since it’s mentioned I do notice that any sign of me pulling away he does create something awesome that I can’t say no to. Anyway I guess I think he will understand it because he has seen me evolve and will respect my position. Unless there’s a side to aquas that I’m missing lol
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rockTenn
@rockTenn
16 Years

Comments: 0 Ā· Posts: 130 Ā· Topics: 6
Posted by JadeAlexander
Posted by Seleukos
Posted by JadeAlexander
Posted by Seleukos
Posted by rockTenn
I think I’ve nailed what’s killing the hots for me on top of not feeling like a queen. he’s way too into picking and analyzing my brain that he’s not revealing what’s going on in his. Leaving me blind. Not his fault nor do I feel I’m the bad person for how I feel. I’m not ripping aqua men and I’m not a bad selfish person for my current feelings. Each of us are being who we are and some incompatibilities are revealing themselves.

Do I think he’s trying to break up with me? Maybe.

Do I think I’m trying to break up with him? Maybe.

I have no ghosting plans, but really just don’t think it warrants a discussion with him. All I’d be saying is I don’t think we should continue a sexual relationship. He claims to have non sexual relationships with a few ladies that he once had sex with so this is normal for him. Plus if you see my past posts, I did overcome a drinking habit which I warned him that the sober version of me takes life more serious where I reprioritize my focus/attention. A truly good reward for me & the man that loves me like a queen
Relax, there is no need to be overly defensive.

No one said you're a bad person or selfish for wanting to be just one of many vaginas.

I think that's something everyone can relate to. No likes to be or feel "used".

Just wanting a serious commitment instead of fooling around is also very understandable.

I've read the thread. I don't just jump in and ask pointless questions but because I've read it I needed to ask what you meant with "queen", so we are clear of the words meaning you had in mind.

If it's over for you, yeah, just tell him. He might become a bit clingy or annoying but that's his problem.


That’s what Blocking is for! Problem

Solved.


True, but only if he goes full Aqua crazy.

Until that point everyone deserves to be heard and hey maybe, just maybe, both parties can find a solution for themselves and each other.


I agree... but if he becomes a problem you don’t have to allow him access.

Although I’m a total clingy stalker and my aqua just lets me... someone should tell him to block my a**

click to expand

I’ve been there albeit briefly and to this day I’m shocked that he’s still around.
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rockTenn
@rockTenn
16 Years

Comments: 0 Ā· Posts: 130 Ā· Topics: 6
Posted by Seleukos
Posted by rockTenn
I think I’ve nailed what’s killing the hots for me on top of not feeling like a queen. he’s way too into picking and analyzing my brain that he’s not revealing what’s going on in his. Leaving me blind. Not his fault nor do I feel I’m the bad person for how I feel. I’m not ripping aqua men and I’m not a bad selfish person for my current feelings. Each of us are being who we are and some incompatibilities are revealing themselves.

Do I think he’s trying to break up with me? Maybe.

Do I think I’m trying to break up with him? Maybe.

I have no ghosting plans, but really just don’t think it warrants a discussion with him. All I’d be saying is I don’t think we should continue a sexual relationship. He claims to have non sexual relationships with a few ladies that he once had sex with so this is normal for him. Plus if you see my past posts, I did overcome a drinking habit which I warned him that the sober version of me takes life more serious where I reprioritize my focus/attention. A truly good reward for me & the man that loves me like a queen
Relax, there is no need to be overly defensive.

No one said you're a bad person or selfish for wanting to be just one of many vaginas.

I think that's something everyone can relate to. No likes to be or feel "used".

Just wanting a serious commitment instead of fooling around is also very understandable.

I've read the thread. I don't just jump in and ask pointless questions but because I've read it I needed to ask what you meant with "queen", so we are clear of the words meaning you had in mind.

If it's over for you, yeah, just tell him. He might become a bit clingy or annoying but that's his problem.
click to expand

Sorry for coming off as defensive. If anything it was a post you didn’t make that made me want to voice those things. Noticing that on dxp ppl voice generalized thoughts and so I attempt to clarify :-)
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rockTenn
@rockTenn
16 Years

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Posted by halalbae
Posted by Seleukos
Posted by halalbae
If an Aquarius is truly good for you and views you as irreplaceable in their life, they will not keep going cold on you



They are not the type to keep you wondering where you stand with them
Not really.

I can absolutely love someone and still switch from warm and cozy to a brick wall with winter and white walkers all around you.
Thats not going cold. Aquas can barely handle their own feels so they back off when it makes them feel uncomfortable



IME Aquas are very sappy and romantic but not in a hopeless way
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This is hijacking the topic. Everyone else understood that I’m deciding how best to end things and you’re giving the world famous advice about aqua coldness. If your aqua man went cold on you there are other applicable threads.
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rockTenn
@rockTenn
16 Years

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Posted by Seleukos
Posted by halalbae
Posted by Seleukos
Posted by halalbae
Posted by Seleukos
Posted by halalbae
If an Aquarius is truly good for you and views you as irreplaceable in their life, they will not keep going cold on you



They are not the type to keep you wondering where you stand with them
Not really.

I can absolutely love someone and still switch from warm and cozy to a brick wall with winter and white walkers all around you.
Thats not going cold. Aquas can barely handle their own feels so they back off when it makes them feel uncomfortable



IME Aquas are very sappy and romantic but not in a hopeless way
Okay, what would be going cold for you?
Unavailability, making them feel unimportant
This can happen due to a lot of circumstances. Everyone has his own life to live.

"Feelings" are hard to deal with because it's always unclear if it's the other person that makes you feel unimportant or if it's something within yourself that gets triggered by certain situations.

In those cases anybody could go cold for that person.
click to expand

I truly like how you think. You ask questions for clarity and understand that perspective is very different than the other person being guilty of something.

If making someone feel unimportant means we’ve gone cold then every sign in the zodiac has gone cold frequently
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rockTenn
@rockTenn
16 Years

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Posted by Seleukos
Posted by halalbae
I feel like Aquarius people are pleasers tbh

Which is crazy because of the detached stereotype, but when an Aqua cares? They will give you emotional intimacy. You just have to pick up on the unspoken words and speak the language of gesture
Thank you for saying that.

I think it's something that is often overlooked or unseen due to all the hate Aquas seem to get.

Actions always speak louder than words.
click to expand

They get lots of hate. So much that you can’t really get clear advice on them bc so many generalizations are introduced by others