Some Women and Their BAD Advice (Page 2)

Posted by tiziani

Posted by natural25

Posted by tiziani
I don't think women are that bad. A lot of them have a lot of male energy and can get things done.

A lot of it boils down to ego. Relationships are messy and people are going to make mistakes. They very nature of relationships advice is to be interfering and retarded, since it comes from a textbook, idealistic place.

sometimes things need to be interfered. particularly, if the person ask for advice.

Not so sure about that being a particular case. And I'm not taking shots at anyone that offers advice. Merely reflecting on all the times I've helped myself to offering my own advice into other people's lives, when they ask me.

I agree with seraph's post that sometimes it's actually the more mature route to leave well enough alone and let the person grow into their relationship (or out of it - if they need).

Knowing the subtle difference gives a person the maturity to become someone who really listens and shares rather than just waiting for their turn to talk.

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I agree that a person should not over indulge in giving advice to friends. I also think that sometimes there are certain situations, where honest advice is helpful.

My original post, however, was more so directed towards giving BAD advice. If a person feels uncomfortable (for whatever reason) providing their friend with advice, that's fine. Each person/friendship is different. However, providing dishonest advice or advice which further leads one down an uncomfortable path, is a horse of a different color.

If one chooses to be silent. Be silent, but don't lie. Just listen.

Posted by aquapiscescusp
If someone isn't ready for the advice that you so honestly want to give, you might lose the friendship.

timing and tact are everything!

Posted by DonJohnson


i also never tell people to break up. that's the worst advice imo. a lot of girls love to tell their gfs to break up for their own gain. women are just horrible friends. jealousy is a female trait.

you had me up until this part. jealousy does discriminate based on sex. it is a human trait manifested through different individuals in different ways.

I have known my fair share of jealous men

Posted by natural25

Posted by aquapiscescusp
If someone isn't ready for the advice that you so honestly want to give, you might lose the friendship.

timing and tact are everything!

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It sure is...

seraph - agreed.... if that's OK, this time... I kid, I kid... lol 😉

Posted by DonJohnson

Posted by natural25

Posted by DonJohnson


i also never tell people to break up. that's the worst advice imo. a lot of girls love to tell their gfs to break up for their own gain. women are just horrible friends. jealousy is a female trait.

you had me up until this part. jealousy does discriminate based on sex. it is a human trait manifested through different individuals in different ways.

I have known my fair share of jealous men

less jealous men than women. just like men are less emotional. but there are emotional men.

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simply correcting your comment: "jealousy is a female trait."

Posted by natural25

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by SUT3point0
Women give the worst advice thats why women usually ask men

Truth.

I may ask some female friends for advice because I always like to hear all angles, but after hearing what comes out of their mouth, I may not bother asking them again.

That said, when I want to know why guys are doing what they're doing, I ask guys.

Guys - "He's an asshole trying to get laid."

Women- "Oh, he has issues. Maybe this and that grey area bullshit."

Recently, I had two dumb bitches try to tell me that relationships make you happier. They were stumped when I told them that you have to be happy alone and to rely on a relationship to make you happy made you a weak person setting yourself up for disaster. el oh el.

Take home message- a lot of girls are dumb as a bag of hammers with this stuff. What do you expect when some treat Disney movies as the bible of relationships?

Right! It seems like some women like to make excuses and sugar coat reality. Being a real friend, in my opinion, is being able to be honest with your friend, so that they can be happy in the long run.

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Exactly. If they don't like it and get butthurt, then I don't want to be around someone who chooses to live in lala land. They tend to be emotionally exhausting people anyway.

Posted by DonJohnson

Posted by natural25

Posted by DonJohnson


i also never tell people to break up. that's the worst advice imo. a lot of girls love to tell their gfs to break up for their own gain. women are just horrible friends. jealousy is a female trait.

you had me up until this part. jealousy does discriminate based on sex. it is a human trait manifested through different individuals in different ways.

I have known my fair share of jealous men

less jealous men than women. just like men are less emotional. but there are emotional men.

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WHAT— more men than women kill their s/o out of emotions-- JEALOUSY, RAGE, ANGER

Posted by aquapiscescusp
If someone isn't ready for the advice that you so honestly want to give, you might lose the friendship.

I get that timing and all that is important when approaching, but if you're afraid to lose someone due to being a friend and being honest so they don't get hurt, you should be questioning the validity of that friendship. Were they really your friend, or just an ego boost they keep around.

I seriously question those who have nothing but ass kissers for friends and constantly ditch those who are trying to be real. They don't have friends, they keep an ego stroking crowd around for their own selfish, emotional gain.

rockyroadicecream - sometimes my best friend might call me on my bs and it might hurt a bit or bruise my ego momentarily, and vice versa, but in the end, we appreciate each other for it.

like I said, I am not saying that folks should walk around being Dr. Phil, always imposing their opinion (warranted and unwarranted)on others. however, there are situations in which honest feedback is not only appropriate but needed!

Posted by seraph

Posted by natural25
seraph - agreed.... if that's OK, this time... I kid, I kid... lol 😉

Oh shush.... 😉

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🙂 🙂

Posted by natural25

Posted by DonJohnson


i also never tell people to break up. that's the worst advice imo. a lot of girls love to tell their gfs to break up for their own gain. women are just horrible friends. jealousy is a female trait.

you had me up until this part. jealousy does discriminate based on sex. it is a human trait manifested through different individuals in different ways.

I have known my fair share of jealous men

This! Haha. I've had some male friends give me biased advice because they wanted to have a shot at me. It was pretty obvious, too. Fortunately it hasn't been very common. I'd be sad if I didn't have any go to guys for inquiries to male bullshit.

Posted by aquapiscescusp
WHAT— more men than women kill their s/o out of emotions-- JEALOUSY, RAGE, ANGER

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Yep, but the major key factor that's quite the male trait is ego. Ego amplifies all that bs. Guys can be very jealous because of that stupid, testosterone filled urge of possession over their woman.

Sure, many women can be catty jealous, but guys are jealous because they view the woman as their possession and rawr can't have someone else touching my stuff!! Not all guys are like this, but to solely think that this is female only is a bit biased.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by aquapiscescusp
If someone isn't ready for the advice that you so honestly want to give, you might lose the friendship.

I get that timing and all that is important when approaching, but if you're afraid to lose someone due to being a friend and being honest so they don't get hurt, you should be questioning the validity of that friendship. Were they really your friend, or just an ego boost they keep around.

I seriously question those who have nothing but ass kissers for friends and constantly ditch those who are trying to be real. They don't have friends, they keep an ego stroking crowd around for their own selfish, emotional gain.

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Rocky, I have been in a situation of the sort recently. I have to great girlfriends I have known most of my life. They are both married.

Long story short, one gf confided to me that the other husband tried to kiss and she pushed him away. She was shocked and didn't know what to do, if she should tell the friend or not. We both agreed it would be best to not tell her. What would it change? It would make her very sad and that was OUR concern.

Posted by natural25
rockyroadicecream - sometimes my best friend might call me on my bs and it might hurt a bit or bruise my ego momentarily, and vice versa, but in the end, we appreciate each other for it.

like I said, I am not saying that folks should walk around being Dr. Phil, always imposing their opinion (warranted and unwarranted)on others. however, there are situations in which honest feedback is not only appropriate but needed!

Well yeah, that's how it should be. That's how real friends would handle it. Fly bys are the ones who immediately change the status of your friendship the second they hear something they may not like, even though it's honesty. Being hurt or pissed temporarily is natural, but dropping a friend over it is just bullshit. Then it's Bye Felicia status from there. Ain't nobody got time for assholes like that.

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by aquapiscescusp
If someone isn't ready for the advice that you so honestly want to give, you might lose the friendship.

I get that timing and all that is important when approaching, but if you're afraid to lose someone due to being a friend and being honest so they don't get hurt, you should be questioning the validity of that friendship. Were they really your friend, or just an ego boost they keep around.

I seriously question those who have nothing but ass kissers for friends and constantly ditch those who are trying to be real. They don't have friends, they keep an ego stroking crowd around for their own selfish, emotional gain.

Rocky, I have been in a situation of the sort recently. I have to great girlfriends I have known most of my life. They are both married.

Long story short, one gf confided to me that the other husband tried to kiss and she pushed him away. She was shocked and didn't know what to do, if she should tell the friend or not. We both agreed it would be best to not tell her. What would it change? It would make her very sad and that was OUR concern.

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...that's not remotely related to the subject at hand. You went way off the path with this one so I don't see how it's a valid example of what the OP was talking about.

Oh sorry Rocky, didn't realize you were the controller on BEING ON TOPIC 😛

must find a thread that stays on track... anyone?

It has nothing to do with being a "controller" it's just you totally skewed what I was talking about with an example that's absolutely irrelevant to what was being referred to.

Protecting your friend from potential bs has nothing to do with someone going to another for advice, and in this example, getting butthurt when it's legit and not sugar coated. That friend did not come to you. You and another friend are choosing to shelter her by omission.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
It has nothing to do with being a "controller" it's just you totally skewed what I was talking about with an example that's absolutely irrelevant to what was being referred to.

Protecting your friend from potential bs has nothing to do with someone going to another for advice, and in this example, getting butthurt when it's legit and not sugar coated. That friend did not come to you. You and another friend are choosing to shelter her by omission.

I was looking at it from a different perspective... what's the problem? You don't like it, don't read it.

No, you're just a total dingbat.

Carry on.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
No, you're just a total dingbat.

Carry on.

intelligent!

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by rockyroadicecream
No, you're just a total dingbat.

Carry on.

intelligent!

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Illustrating Don's point. 🙂

Posted by feby16aqua
Rocky, every time I go to the beach I think about you 😄

I haven't been yet. Just drove by one so far.

I could have gone today had I not had other plans 😢

Posted by starlover
Two of my close friends are heading for disasters with their love lives..can see it a mile off, but will they listen? No, they wont? If they wont listen to the *inner voice* i am sure they wont listen to others, so i dont bother any longer

well yes... when you have friends who have proven to not listen... you just have to let it be.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by rockyroadicecream
No, you're just a total dingbat.

Carry on.

intelligent!

Illustrating Don's point. 🙂

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controlling control freak maybe? lol

Okay, I'm a day late and a dollar short, and I didn't read the entire thread, but this is what I think.

One. It's possible these women friends giving erroneous advice, really don't know the right advice they should be giving. It's probably more about what they would do and if you look at them, its not working out for them either.
Along those lines, if their advice does work out for them, what works for one personality, doesn't always work for another personality.

Two. They want to encourage instead of hurt their friends feelings. It's hard to say to a friend "he's not into you" and/or "quit being such a clingy, desparate dweeb".