Why do girls check guys phones?

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by uchiha on Friday, March 31, 2017 and has 72 replies.

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Profile picture of Chuckcem
@Chuckcem
14 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by Freetobe007

Posted by Chuckcem
Generally paranoia for one reason or the other. Maybe she has trust issues, maybe the guy gave her a reason to be paranoid.

That doesn't even sound like fun anymore. If things have gotten to that point, she may as well leave the relationship instead of being stressed and anxious at any moment.

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Hahaha my thoughts too, but not everyone thinks that way.

Profile picture of lisabethur8
@lisabethur8
14 Years50,000+ Posts

Posted by Freetobe007

Posted by lady_chatterley

Posted by Freetobe007
Hmmm... don't blame yourself, just improve.

My thoughts: I think people underestimate the power and price of connection. We shouldn't be giving ourselves romantically unless we have a solid, sturdy, emotionally/physically/spiritually competent version of ourselves to give. Otherwise, necessary aspects of us just may break and even crumble under pressure, such as confidence, self-worth, and intangible strength. Acidic people will flock to those who won't/can't accomplish this. They'll most likely erode us, our progress, and they'll erode our future hopes for romance. We'll probably find ourselves shrunken and at a lesser version of our potential if we have faulty mental framework and volunteer our lives to that. I've watched it happen to many people.

Depending on the severity of the situation, shrunkeness could set root in you until the second you die. People can encounter such an expanse of heartache that they don't resolve it all before they leave this Earth and they die with it...maybe it's even a focal point of their last thoughts. It's sad but I know it happens every day.

In case there was a misunderstanding: I meant I resonated with "women should probably be eliminating any threat to their inner-harmony and happiness. Btw, this time of year is a great time to be single and flirty at festivals, beaches, concerts, lounges, museums, parks, and street markets. It makes me sad when women mistake cheap male attention for the goldmine."

I said I blamed my Aquarian side because usually this line of thinking is what made it hard for me to be in relationships. I've always had no problems dropping a guy. I am usually the heart-breaker.

Before I married, I really enjoyed just being by myself and being single. Not to date around, but to just to be preoccupied with hobbies, interests, and fun without having the responsibility to someone else. Now that I have a family, time is limited, and now I have new hobbies, interests, and fun that involve my family. In the past, I have felt that I lost my individuality a little (which is important to Aquarians--it's my rising, venus, and mars sign), when I was in relationships. Today, I feel differently in that I have gain something more important to me which is family, but I am still able to express my own individuality.

I do agree with a lot of what you have said, especially the part where you state: We shouldn't be giving ourselves romantically unless we have a solid, sturdy, emotionally/physically/spiritually competent version of ourselves to give."

Thanks for giving your input. 🙂

Oh! Lol, no misunderstanding, we just emphasized on different layers of the topic 🙂

The juggle of Aquarian independence fascinates me...It's so interesting that you feel that way because one of my close Aqua friends had a bit of a mental breakdown last summer when she realized just how much she compromised her identity to be a housewife of two children and the wife of a solider in the military. She went through a legitimate mental breakdown and couldn't even mentally perform when asked to participate as a choreographer. How did you merge those different parts of yourself?

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I would NEVER marry a military man.

he would always be away.

I was asked hand in marriage by a high ranking officer, a commander, and I knew I would be good for life, he was also bloody rich in family inheritance and super ambitious. He wasn't a looker but who cares, he had a kind heart....

but I turned him down, because I envisioned my life in the future with him....that I couldn't touch him, because I felt NOTHING, no desire...I couldn't imagine myself having sex with him cause YUCK.

and then being alone all the time at home, and that's fine if I have work at home to keep me busy....

but I would hate the long months away, no fucking way.

i'm fucking happy I got a man who stays home a lot.

(I need the intimacy!! and my husband DEMANDS we are in bed together every fucking night) edit- adds...MEOOOWW.

edit

oh I forgot to add....

women around me at the time when the Commander was courting me....

they were ...OMG girl....marry him!!!! he wil give you EVERYTHING.

women do love that...status and money and power.

and im like..no fucking way!!!!

Profile picture of lisabethur8
@lisabethur8
14 Years50,000+ Posts

Posted by uchiha
Why do you all do that shit?

btw, no.

I don't give a shit what's on my man's phone.

he can do whatever he wants.

mainly because I trust him.

it's the same thing...

if you have a child you don't want to go scouring through their phone, when they turned teenagers, or look in their diairies. or if you have roommates, or anyone close to you living with you,

that is disrespectful and they will never have the TRUST of their parents ever (in the case of children). or feel safe around them.

Profile picture of heliumfiasco
@heliumfiasco
14 Years1,000+ Posts

My last relationship with the cancer was the first man that ive ever dated where I NEVER went through his phone or computer. I fully trusted him. Not sure if it was a maturity thing and growth on my part. But I was more like, I might find stuff in here that breaks my trust unintentionally. I didnt want to do that.

Profile picture of uchiha
@uchiha
9 Years500+ Posts

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by uchiha
Why do you all do that shit?

btw, no.

I don't give a shit what's on my man's phone.

he can do whatever he wants.

mainly because I trust him.

it's the same thing...

if you have a child you don't want to go scouring through their phone, when they turned teenagers, or look in their diairies. or if you have roommates, or anyone close to you living with you,

that is disrespectful and they will never have the TRUST of their parents ever (in the case of children). or feel safe around them.

click to expand

Ok but what if you were suspect of him. Would you do it?

Profile picture of uchiha
@uchiha
9 Years500+ Posts

I blame other women. They talk to their friends (mostly single or had guys cheat on them) and use their friends experiences to apply to there own relationships. I'd the friend says her guy did so and so then they automatically want to check there guy to see if they did so and so. Not so?

Profile picture of uchiha
@uchiha
9 Years500+ Posts

Posted by blackmoon
why do guys check out girls phones

they don't have enough trust and keep doubting their partner. only to find nothing on there and still accuse me of cheating

It's messed up cuz I don't search other people's phones

Profile picture of ashley1734
@ashley1734
10 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

Posted by uchiha

Posted by ashley1734
Insecure?

If I ever felt the curiosity about what was in a dude's phone, I'd break up with him cus that obviously means I don't trust him.

But sometimes the girl could have a wrong hunch

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Totally, but then that's MY issue, not his. Wouldn't go through the poor bloke's phone. I'd either address it with him or logically think about why I might feel that way and try to abolish it from my thoughts.

Profile picture of uchiha
@uchiha
9 Years500+ Posts

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by uchiha

Posted by ashley1734
Insecure?

If I ever felt the curiosity about what was in a dude's phone, I'd break up with him cus that obviously means I don't trust him.

But sometimes the girl could have a wrong hunch

Totally, but then that's MY issue, not his. Wouldn't go through the poor bloke's phone. I'd either address it with him or logically think about why I might feel that way and try to abolish it from my thoughts.

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Ok but what if you address it with him and he's lying?

Profile picture of lisabethur8
@lisabethur8
14 Years50,000+ Posts

Posted by Ellygant
Most of my friends that do it have very strong trust issues. Not that I don't lol, cause I very much do have my own just in different ways. Instead of looking for proof to trap someone I just runaway and let them figure it out typically lol.

When I first started dating my ex, at 19, I did check the scorps phone once. Found nothing except him ignoring other girls who tried to keep texting him when we started dating. That was the last time, seeing how silly I felt afterwards. I told him about it too and he wasn't upset at all.

Nowadays if I don't respect someone enough to give them their own space than obviously we would not be a match. I doubt there'd ever be a reason to check.

huh wow, some guys would FREAK.

good thing your ex was super laid back about it.

Profile picture of lisabethur8
@lisabethur8
14 Years50,000+ Posts

Posted by uchiha

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by uchiha
Why do you all do that shit?

btw, no.

I don't give a shit what's on my man's phone.

he can do whatever he wants.

mainly because I trust him.

it's the same thing...

if you have a child you don't want to go scouring through their phone, when they turned teenagers, or look in their diairies. or if you have roommates, or anyone close to you living with you,

that is disrespectful and they will never have the TRUST of their parents ever (in the case of children). or feel safe around them.

Ok but what if you were suspect of him. Would you do it?

click to expand

I never checked my first ex's nor the one's after him, so why would I change up now?

Profile picture of uchiha
@uchiha
9 Years500+ Posts

Posted by MagicMona
insecure girls do. secure women don't. never have i done that because whatever is going on will come to light. plus it's disrespectful. i wouldn't want anyone snooping through my shit.

is that ichigo's sword in your pic?

Profile picture of lisabethur8
@lisabethur8
14 Years50,000+ Posts

Posted by Ellygant

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by Ellygant
Most of my friends that do it have very strong trust issues. Not that I don't lol, cause I very much do have my own just in different ways. Instead of looking for proof to trap someone I just runaway and let them figure it out typically lol.

When I first started dating my ex, at 19, I did check the scorps phone once. Found nothing except him ignoring other girls who tried to keep texting him when we started dating. That was the last time, seeing how silly I felt afterwards. I told him about it too and he wasn't upset at all.

Nowadays if I don't respect someone enough to give them their own space than obviously we would not be a match. I doubt there'd ever be a reason to check.

huh wow, some guys would FREAK.

good thing your ex was super laid back about it.

Ya. Well I cried cause I felt so bad when I told him lol. Thought he was gonna break up with me.

He was a Scorp venus too though. Thought it showed I cared lmao.

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wow his libra and aquarius placements are so strong.

your ex has a kind of blase' it's okay feeling about him.

Profile picture of Cancer Lady
@Cancer Lady
18 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by MagicMona
i have a question. if you're in a real, exclusive relationship, why should something like going through a phone be off limits? especially if you live together?

i was just thinking about my situation. we live together and we freely use each others' things all of the time. if she wants to grab my phone and play a game on it or look through my media, she is free to. i don't have anything to hide. if i wanted to do the same thing, she is fine with it. so i guess it's not really snooping when you trust one another and are not looking for reasons not to. it's more like 'what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine.'

Exactly! I don't have to snoop through my Scorpio's phone because he shows me what he's doing on his phone and vice versa as neither of us has anything to hide. He doesn't run and take calls in the other room or put the phone down when I walk by and all that other crap that guys who are obviously hiding something are doing. If I ever felt the desire to need to snoop, then that would be an indication that I need to reconsider my relationship.

Profile picture of coldwateryvirgo
@coldwateryvirgo
9 Years500+ PostsVirgo

i never check a phone just in case

i do how ever check their phone when something is odd and they don't talk to me... like i just have a sense they are hiding something wrong... but i have to had tried talking about it multiple times before i resort to that

Profile picture of coldwateryvirgo
@coldwateryvirgo
9 Years500+ PostsVirgo

oh and so far, I've only been into one phone, he kept a lot of nudes of girls . that was all i found. I dug my grave and had to get over it.

however , i can't get myself to look at anyone else phone. Im that girl who don't have to guts to cheat on an exam, same with phone, I'm too scared to get caught

on the other hands a few guys have gone through my phone. I catch them too, but i don't say anything

Profile picture of Soul
@Soul
11 Years10,000+ Posts

I wouldn't care if she did, just as long as she wasn't super obvious about it. Like don't accuse me of wired shit then ask for my phone. Just wait till I sleep or ask to use it. I don't keep my phone locked in relationships because I have nothing to hide. I don't do anything with my phone that should be kept secret from lovers, family, or friends. I'd only date a woman who was the same. A locked device is a sign of a secretive person, even if the secrets aren't within the phone.

Profile picture of uchiha
@uchiha
9 Years500+ Posts

Posted by notsosure
But seriously: does anyone ever go through their phone and not get their suspicions confirmed———?

(I mean if you go through it due to insecurity. Not if you just see each others phones as a couple)

That´s my impression. If their is suspicions they are usually true. But most people don´t want to believe it, it´s hurtful and hard to accept. So it´s easier to leave with clear cut evidence than just leave on your suspicions and never know for sure.

not all the time suspicions are true

Profile picture of uchiha
@uchiha
9 Years500+ Posts

Posted by coldwateryvirgo
oh and so far, I've only been into one phone, he kept a lot of nudes of girls . that was all i found. I dug my grave and had to get over it.

however , i can't get myself to look at anyone else phone. Im that girl who don't have to guts to cheat on an exam, same with phone, I'm too scared to get caught

on the other hands a few guys have gone through my phone. I catch them too, but i don't say anything

nudes? you should be happy its that and not nudes of guys lol

Profile picture of uchiha
@uchiha
9 Years500+ Posts

Posted by MagicMona

Posted by uchiha

Posted by MagicMona
insecure girls do. secure women don't. never have i done that because whatever is going on will come to light. plus it's disrespectful. i wouldn't want anyone snooping through my shit.

is that ichigo's sword in your pic?

yes it is. 🙂 you know your swords.

click to expand

lol nice sword. you need to get your hand on batousai's reverse blade sword.

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