Dating Apps

I hate dating apps!

Most fake way to meet someone.

But having gone through a painful divorce etc etc and lockdown etc I decided to try one.

After swiping many guys past I found one. Really handsome.

We chatted and flirted for 3 weeks and even arranged to meet for a drink this weekend.

He had been busy with work and has 2 teenage sons and so the first weekend to meet was this one.

However he recently Unmatched me!?

I mean what happened!?

He told me he fancies me. He hates talking to me when he can't see my face. He wants to meet me. He thinks I'm lush. Loves my eyes. We talked about our shared love of kissing.

And chatting in a nice pub this weekend.

So. ??

Also my best friend said "did you ask him whats wrong? Or if you have said something wrong ?"

So i had to explain that once that person's gone, they're gone! So i can't ask him anything.

She then said "have you tried facebook?"

Hmm! 😑

Well..I could find him.

But what do you think of sending someone a facebook message after being on a dating app, and apologising for whatever.?

And asking what happened?

Isn't that a bit weird?

Would you do it?

Does he have your phone number?

I wouldn't try to find him if he unmatched you. He must not have been serious about dating.

Just try someone else and give out your phone number.

I don't know why people stay inside of an app and talk. You can easily block someone who has your phone number or get a fake google phone number to get texts and phone calls through. It feels more personal then staying on an app.

Posted by pooface222

I hate dating apps!

Most fake way to meet someone.

But having gone through a painful divorce etc etc and lockdown etc I decided to try one.

After swiping many guys past I found one. Really handsome.

We chatted and flirted for 3 weeks and even arranged to meet for a drink this weekend.

He had been busy with work and has 2 teenage sons and so the first weekend to meet was this one.

However he recently Unmatched me!?

I mean what happened!?

He told me he fancies me. He hates talking to me when he can't see my face. He wants to meet me. He thinks I'm lush. Loves my eyes. We talked about our shared love of kissing.

And chatting in a nice pub this weekend.

So. ??

Also my best friend said "did you ask him whats wrong? Or if you have said something wrong ?"

So i had to explain that once that person's gone, they're gone! So i can't ask him anything.

She then said "have you tried facebook?"

Hmm! 😑

Well..I could find him.

But what do you think of sending someone a facebook message after being on a dating app, and apologising for whatever.?

And asking what happened?

Isn't that a bit weird?

Would you do it?

Wow, flirting back and forth for 3 weeks without exchanging phone numbers, and he hasn't even asked for it, so strange. Obviously, he has many girls/women into the rotation and found some of those that were maybe a better match for him, or he was more attracted to them and just moved on. That is how it is on dating apps when you have a choice. Not obligated for anything, so you shouldn't take it all that seriously.

Posted by ozzzy

Posted by pooface222

I hate dating apps!

Most fake way to meet someone.

But having gone through a painful divorce etc etc and lockdown etc I decided to try one.

After swiping many guys past I found one. Really handsome.

We chatted and flirted for 3 weeks and even arranged to meet for a drink this weekend.

He had been busy with work and has 2 teenage sons and so the first weekend to meet was this one.

However he recently Unmatched me!?

I mean what happened!?

He told me he fancies me. He hates talking to me when he can't see my face. He wants to meet me. He thinks I'm lush. Loves my eyes. We talked about our shared love of kissing.

And chatting in a nice pub this weekend.

So. ??

Also my best friend said "did you ask him whats wrong? Or if you have said something wrong ?"

So i had to explain that once that person's gone, they're gone! So i can't ask him anything.

She then said "have you tried facebook?"

Hmm! 😑

Well..I could find him.

But what do you think of sending someone a facebook message after being on a dating app, and apologising for whatever.?

And asking what happened?

Isn't that a bit weird?

Would you do it?

Wow, flirting back and forth for 3 weeks without exchanging phone numbers, and he hasn't even asked for it, so strange. Obviously, he has many girls/women into the rotation and found some of those that were maybe a better match for him, or he was more attracted to them and just moved on. That is how it is on dating apps when you have a choice. Not obligated for anything, so you shouldn't take it all that seriously.

click to expand

I gave him my number after a week or 2..can't remember. My friend said he might be shy. He did seem to hesitate.

So i asked him if I'm being too forward with him?

He replied "No. You're lush. You're not being too forward. I like it. I need to be taken in hand."

I still think that online dating is a great way to meet new people, but what you have described is a downside. Do not take it personally - anything could happened. And do not look for him on Facebook. What happened on the app, stays there. Probably he is back with ex, no time to waste here.

I’ve shortly experimented with some serious apps. I ended up concluding it’s a horrible way to find a person who I’d want to consider as a potential life partner as I did not want them to be on such atrocious platforms so it’s only fair to take myself off of it. As an introvert it’s very difficult for me to easily befriend others in social settings. Idk it’s just overall hard and people suck. I’d say the somewhat quality ones are doing everything but being on those apps so I’d try to find hobbies or activities they might appear in and just push myself there with a friend or so. I'm sure art galleries are a decent place... or like some local musical events. These places are totally cool to chill by yourself and find others doing the same.

Posted by pooface222

But what do you think of sending someone a facebook message after being on a dating app, and apologising for whatever.?

And asking what happened?

Isn't that a bit weird?

Would you do it?

If you haven't done anything wrong don't apologize. Stalk the shit out of him and ask him why he ghosted you. If he doesn't reply send FB friendship request to his kids mwahahah !

Posted by Enfant-Terrible-II

Posted by pooface222

But what do you think of sending someone a facebook message after being on a dating app, and apologising for whatever.?

And asking what happened?

Isn't that a bit weird?

Would you do it?

If you haven't done anything wrong don't apologize. Stalk the shit out of him and ask him why he ghosted you. If he doesn't reply send FB friendship request to his kids mwahahah !

click to expand

Omg 😳 don’t even joke about that! A guy just did that this week with my mate when she told him she wasn’t interested in a relationship. He was bombarding her with texts telling her ok let’s try it your way.. FWB maybe that’s what I need. She blocked him off everything so he sent her 11 year old daughter a follow request on Instagram!!!!! Creepy

OP, been there. It seems to happen a lot. Don’t understand it either but another poster explained once that some guys want the contact, to talk to bond but never want to go ahead and actually meet. All they want is what they are getting from chatting to you and flirting. Go figure—

Posted by Undine in my thread.

Wellcome to the challenge of dating men over 40, lol!

They have passed their prime, testosterone levels dropped, erectile issues are on the rise. Many have gone through a divorce or other failed major relationship, are co-parenting, or going through a midlife crisis. They need a mother, a female friend, a counsellor, more than a random stranger to empty their balls in. They want attention, emotional support, advice, empathy, the "female touch", validation, companionship. Sounds good, eh...? Except for when there is a strong imbalance, meaning that you are giving far more then are receiving.

But why don't they commit to a relationship with you? Because they are happy with the status quo. You satisfy their needs. You build them up. Thanks to you, they feel much better about themselves. In fact, they start wondering if they are too good for you now...because they've noticed that you have some minor flaws...how dare you to be less than perfect, and think you've got them...—

How can you spot these time wasters? Share your plans to begin with, which should always involve a timeline. For example, if you meet the right person, you want to become exclusive once you have had sex with them, official within 4 months (the vast majority of people who are emotionally available are falling in love within 4 months), move together within one year, get married within two. See how they react. If they respond evasively, drop them. If they pay you lip service initially, but then are dragging their feet, drop them. There are people out there who want what you want, and most importantly, they want it with you!

Also, never give more than you receive. Does he like talking about his past and present issues, but largely ignore yours, or shows no empathy? Drop him like a hot potato. How does he treat you? Is he unhelpful, patronising or dismissive, forgets his promises, often late for a date, fails to reply to your question for days, or cancels your plans without a major force/event? Drop him now!

The best way to go about apps is to limit your exposure to the virtual dating world.

Update your profile and say you're interested in actually meeting up and not texting all day. And don't accept anyone you're dating or meeting on your social media for the first few months.

Limit you social media exposure so they can't go through all your pics and think they have you figured out. As fake as some profiles usually are, people still take glances and assume they know all about you.

Don't text all day, leave some of the conversation for meeting up. You're not suppose to know all about a person before a date. Be vague about things and make him curious enough to ask you out.

Online dating can over expose you so limit the exposure as best you can. People like the unknown and mystery.

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by Enfant-Terrible-II

Posted by pooface222

But what do you think of sending someone a facebook message after being on a dating app, and apologising for whatever.?

And asking what happened?

Isn't that a bit weird?

Would you do it?

If you haven't done anything wrong don't apologize. Stalk the shit out of him and ask him why he ghosted you. If he doesn't reply send FB friendship request to his kids mwahahah !

Omg 😳 don’t even joke about that! A guy just did that this week with my mate when she told him she wasn’t interested in a relationship. He was bombarding her with texts telling her ok let’s try it your way.. FWB maybe that’s what I need. She blocked him off everything so he sent her 11 year old daughter a follow request on Instagram!!!!! Creepy

OP, been there. It seems to happen a lot. Don’t understand it either but another poster explained once that some guys want the contact, to talk to bond but never want to go ahead and actually meet. All they want is what they are getting from chatting to you and flirting. Go figure—

click to expand

Yeah but your friend told him she wasn't interested, right? This dude straight up ghosted her after everything seemingly going well. So yes I definitely say fuck his shit up so he learns some social skills

Not weird at all.

His wife/fiance/gf found his account and made him delete it. Most people on dating sites are already in relationships.

Leave it alone. Two kinds on dating apps.. want to meet you immediately or are lonely and just want to talk and/or get attention.

I’m done with them too. I prefer to meet people in person so you get the whole picture.

I agree, but how do we date in society nowadays? Like I'll have situations where women start up a random conversation in public, which makes me go straight to small talk then eventually walking away wishing I had asked more about them. Is it ok for men to ask a stranger if they want to get to know each other better? Like dating sites absolutely suck, but dating once you are 25+ is just as hard and awkward imo. I wasn't like that back in the day, but is nowadays.

Posted by Soul

I agree, but how do we date in society nowadays? Like I'll have situations where women start up a random conversation in public, which makes me go straight to small talk then eventually walking away wishing I had asked more about them. Is it ok for men to ask a stranger if they want to get to know each other better? Like dating sites absolutely suck, but dating once you are 25+ is just as hard and awkward imo. I wasn't like that back in the day, but is nowadays.

I think the problem is more internal. The obstacles here seem to be shame and fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of awkwardness, fear of ridicule, fear of being perceived as inept or flawed. It's important not to internalize limiting beliefs shared by many (like older people having a hard time dating) even if there's some truth to it.

I may be projecting a bit perhaps cause I have felt those things in the past. But I find that's no way to live. It's too painful, constrictive, miserable and disempowering and the desire to experience the opposite (positive emotions) overwhelming and obsessive.

Something's gotta give. A transformation must occur or be consciously initiated. What if someone has a negative opinion about you? So long as you get rid of that negative opinon of yourself it shouldn't matter and it becomes a "their problem" type of issue, no longer yours. And in the long run your character and personality will speak for itself and that person will eventually see you for who you are and if they don't that's ok too cause you won't give a fuck about what they think nor need their approval because you'll know who you are and you'll like the person that you are.

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by Enfant-Terrible-II

Posted by pooface222

But what do you think of sending someone a facebook message after being on a dating app, and apologising for whatever.?

And asking what happened?

Isn't that a bit weird?

Would you do it?

If you haven't done anything wrong don't apologize. Stalk the shit out of him and ask him why he ghosted you. If he doesn't reply send FB friendship request to his kids mwahahah !

Omg 😳 don’t even joke about that! A guy just did that this week with my mate when she told him she wasn’t interested in a relationship. He was bombarding her with texts telling her ok let’s try it your way.. FWB maybe that’s what I need. She blocked him off everything so he sent her 11 year old daughter a follow request on Instagram!!!!! Creepy

OP, been there. It seems to happen a lot. Don’t understand it either but another poster explained once that some guys want the contact, to talk to bond but never want to go ahead and actually meet. All they want is what they are getting from chatting to you and flirting. Go figure—

click to expand

Yeah! Go Figure Indeed!

Its just weird why someone would do that!

But yeah to go follow someone's 11yr old daughter is very creepy! Its a way to get to that person.

Posted by Enfant-Terrible-II

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by Enfant-Terrible-II

Posted by pooface222

But what do you think of sending someone a facebook message after being on a dating app, and apologising for whatever.?

And asking what happened?

Isn't that a bit weird?

Would you do it?

If you haven't done anything wrong don't apologize. Stalk the shit out of him and ask him why he ghosted you. If he doesn't reply send FB friendship request to his kids mwahahah !

Omg 😳 don’t even joke about that! A guy just did that this week with my mate when she told him she wasn’t interested in a relationship. He was bombarding her with texts telling her ok let’s try it your way.. FWB maybe that’s what I need. She blocked him off everything so he sent her 11 year old daughter a follow request on Instagram!!!!! Creepy

OP, been there. It seems to happen a lot. Don’t understand it either but another poster explained once that some guys want the contact, to talk to bond but never want to go ahead and actually meet. All they want is what they are getting from chatting to you and flirting. Go figure—

Yeah but your friend told him she wasn't interested, right? This dude straight up ghosted her after everything seemingly going well. So yes I definitely say fuck his shit up so he learns some social skills

click to expand

I love your post! I'm laughing lots!

I am tempted to facebook message him because I actually found him yesterday. And it was ridiculously easy.

Typed in his First name (because that's all I had), and his town. And there he was!!

I haven't messaged him though.

But I'm thinking of sending him one of me in a bikini and lipstick on. Holiday photo basically.

So I'm not qearung much. But its tasteful.

My dating profile is me wearing smart or casual or sporty outfits.

So i thought something sexy might get his attention.

A kind of "look at what you missed."

*wearing much

Posted by saggurl88

Does he have your phone number?

I wouldn't try to find him if he unmatched you. He must not have been serious about dating.

Just try someone else and give out your phone number.

I don't know why people stay inside of an app and talk. You can easily block someone who has your phone number or get a fake google phone number to get texts and phone calls through. It feels more personal then staying on an app.

He does have my phone number.

After 3 days chatting on the app, I said "i was wondering if you would like to meet up?"

He said yes etc etc but had to sort out work, his teenage boys.

A few days later I gave him my number as I had to go collect my little one from school.

Anyway..

He didnt acknowledge getting my number. Or give me his!?

Yet..

He carried on flirting with me and said he wants to see me!

WTF?!

Posted by pooface222

*wearing much

I thought qearung was a new word and i was missing out 😛

Posted by pooface222

I hate dating apps!

Most fake way to meet someone.

But having gone through a painful divorce etc etc and lockdown etc I decided to try one.

After swiping many guys past I found one. Really handsome.

We chatted and flirted for 3 weeks and even arranged to meet for a drink this weekend.

He had been busy with work and has 2 teenage sons and so the first weekend to meet was this one.

However he recently Unmatched me!?

I mean what happened!?

He told me he fancies me. He hates talking to me when he can't see my face. He wants to meet me. He thinks I'm lush. Loves my eyes. We talked about our shared love of kissing.

And chatting in a nice pub this weekend.

So. ??

Also my best friend said "did you ask him whats wrong? Or if you have said something wrong ?"

So i had to explain that once that person's gone, they're gone! So i can't ask him anything.

She then said "have you tried facebook?"

Hmm! 😑

Well..I could find him.

But what do you think of sending someone a facebook message after being on a dating app, and apologising for whatever.?

And asking what happened?

Isn't that a bit weird?

Would you do it?

I wouldn't have even noticed, lol. And, I'm talking from real experience. I'm airy and hedonistic like that. Instinctually, if something isn't feeling good and fun, I lose interest. I need stimulation to stay on point for my attention to be focused. This is just with love/romance (base on my natal chart). I'm sharp as fuck at work, lol.

Narrow-focus, laser-beaming on one person without meeting? Hmm, I don't know. Doesn't seem logical or natural. I mean, before the internet dating apps, we could have conversations and chat up people at events and on the phone and not think omgawd, he's the one. Is the platform of starring at a screen making things naturally over-focused? Can't be cause there's tons of profiles. Well, I just don't get it. As a single woman, I could have a few conversations with men flirting, chatting, etc. but it ain't nothing unless he says it's something. Other than that, it's just a good time had.

I went on a few internet app dates, a few interactions. None went anywhere. I enjoyed the attention and the look on their faces seeing me... responses to my profile... fun, entertainment. But me, I was always disappointed... couldn't smell enough testosterone. Presented with testosterone verbally online. But, in person, this queen of the stoned age (Aries) wasn't smelling it.

I'm an unabashed extrovert so, I'm probably not going to get sucked in online, lol. Naaah, baby... lemme see something, touch something, taste something, or I can't feel nothing, lol.

~Savage~

(There was one time my senses were off. My Cap girlfriend told me a Cuban Cap in our social group was interested. He was aesthetically classic... I didn't feel the testost... I was sooo wrong. I snapped judgement and didn't get close enough to even evaluate. I'd gotten to fancy with my instincts being so on point. )

Posted by pooface222

Posted by saggurl88

Does he have your phone number?

I wouldn't try to find him if he unmatched you. He must not have been serious about dating.

Just try someone else and give out your phone number.

I don't know why people stay inside of an app and talk. You can easily block someone who has your phone number or get a fake google phone number to get texts and phone calls through. It feels more personal then staying on an app.

He does have my phone number.

After 3 days chatting on the app, I said "i was wondering if you would like to meet up?"

He said yes etc etc but had to sort out work, his teenage boys.

A few days later I gave him my number as I had to go collect my little one from school.

Anyway..

He didnt acknowledge getting my number. Or give me his!?

Yet..

He carried on flirting with me and said he wants to see me!

WTF?!

click to expand

I mean, the facts are he had your number and unmatched with you. He lied

There is no reason to try and find him. He unmatched for whatever reason. It wasn't a glitch on the app.

Talk with someone else and see if you connect better with that person. He was a stranger that you never met. Don't take it personally.

Posted by Enfant-Terrible-II

Posted by pooface222

But what do you think of sending someone a facebook message after being on a dating app, and apologising for whatever.?

And asking what happened?

Isn't that a bit weird?

Would you do it?

If you haven't done anything wrong don't apologize. Stalk the shit out of him and ask him why he ghosted you. If he doesn't reply send FB friendship request to his kids mwahahah !

click to expand

actually some people do that.. I got a FB message from a total stranger who wanted to reach my father. I pretended I didn't see it lol she seemed hurt and lunatic

Posted by ATGR

Maybe your pooface put him off?

Not helpful 😋

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by pooface222

Posted by saggurl88

Does he have your phone number?

I wouldn't try to find him if he unmatched you. He must not have been serious about dating.

Just try someone else and give out your phone number.

I don't know why people stay inside of an app and talk. You can easily block someone who has your phone number or get a fake google phone number to get texts and phone calls through. It feels more personal then staying on an app.

He does have my phone number.

After 3 days chatting on the app, I said "i was wondering if you would like to meet up?"

He said yes etc etc but had to sort out work, his teenage boys.

A few days later I gave him my number as I had to go collect my little one from school.

Anyway..

He didnt acknowledge getting my number. Or give me his!?

Yet..

He carried on flirting with me and said he wants to see me!

WTF?!

I mean, the facts are he had your number and unmatched with you. He lied

There is no reason to try and find him. He unmatched for whatever reason. It wasn't a glitch on the app.

Talk with someone else and see if you connect better with that person. He was a stranger that you never met. Don't take it personally.

click to expand

I understand your being nice @saggurl88 but if your a guy with multiple women/fans, she mentioned some trigger words to draw a red flag or two. 🚩 But what do I know about the tolerance of online dating. Also you are correct with her finding a better connection with a mate if she stays with a positive mindset. If I don’t make sense blame it on the substances in my body and not reading from the beginning.

Posted by FadedAri

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by pooface222

Posted by saggurl88

Does he have your phone number?

I wouldn't try to find him if he unmatched you. He must not have been serious about dating.

Just try someone else and give out your phone number.

I don't know why people stay inside of an app and talk. You can easily block someone who has your phone number or get a fake google phone number to get texts and phone calls through. It feels more personal then staying on an app.

He does have my phone number.

After 3 days chatting on the app, I said "i was wondering if you would like to meet up?"

He said yes etc etc but had to sort out work, his teenage boys.

A few days later I gave him my number as I had to go collect my little one from school.

Anyway..

He didnt acknowledge getting my number. Or give me his!?

Yet..

He carried on flirting with me and said he wants to see me!

WTF?!

I mean, the facts are he had your number and unmatched with you. He lied

There is no reason to try and find him. He unmatched for whatever reason. It wasn't a glitch on the app.

Talk with someone else and see if you connect better with that person. He was a stranger that you never met. Don't take it personally.

I understand your being nice @saggurl88 but if your a guy with multiple women/fans, she mentioned some trigger words to draw a red flag or two. 🚩 But what do I know about the tolerance of online dating. Also you are correct with her finding a better connection with a mate if she stays with a positive mindset. If I don’t make sense blame it on the substances in my body and not reading from the beginning.

click to expand

Huh? It's a dating app. Of course a person will have multiple people interested.

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by FadedAri

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by pooface222

Posted by saggurl88

Does he have your phone number?

I wouldn't try to find him if he unmatched you. He must not have been serious about dating.

Just try someone else and give out your phone number.

I don't know why people stay inside of an app and talk. You can easily block someone who has your phone number or get a fake google phone number to get texts and phone calls through. It feels more personal then staying on an app.

He does have my phone number.

After 3 days chatting on the app, I said "i was wondering if you would like to meet up?"

He said yes etc etc but had to sort out work, his teenage boys.

A few days later I gave him my number as I had to go collect my little one from school.

Anyway..

He didnt acknowledge getting my number. Or give me his!?

Yet..

He carried on flirting with me and said he wants to see me!

WTF?!

I mean, the facts are he had your number and unmatched with you. He lied

There is no reason to try and find him. He unmatched for whatever reason. It wasn't a glitch on the app.

Talk with someone else and see if you connect better with that person. He was a stranger that you never met. Don't take it personally.

I understand your being nice @saggurl88 but if your a guy with multiple women/fans, she mentioned some trigger words to draw a red flag or two. 🚩 But what do I know about the tolerance of online dating. Also you are correct with her finding a better connection with a mate if she stays with a positive mindset. If I don’t make sense blame it on the substances in my body and not reading from the beginning.

Huh? It's a dating app. Of course a person will have multiple people interested.

click to expand

Yeah there chances would multiply but what class is on online worth your time. Idk