Can a Cheater... (Page 3)

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Profile picture of Mhmmm
Mhmmm
@Mhmmm
7 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 21 · Posts: 630 · Topics: 0
I have forgiven someone that cheated on me once before, yes. Staying wasn’t an active choice tbh, I was numb from the hurt and was waiting for the hurt to die down and the anger to set in so I could break up with him.

But that never happened and he could tell how much he hurt me, I became quiet and very distant with him. Although we never really talked about it I know seeing me hurt and knowing he could lose me any moment was the turning point for him and he did everything he could to win me back.

I don’t regret it but having gone through that I don’t think I could ever stay again, life is just too short.
Profile picture of saggurl88
Vacation Queen
@saggurl88
12 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 22238 · Posts: 25616 · Topics: 84
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Jup, as long as they didn't lie to me.


So if the person told you before hand you would be okay with it?




Yep. Afterwards would be okay as well.

It might even help the relationship to grow.


LMAO. Your theories are always so interesting. Elaborate further please and help me see. Cause I couldn't forgive.


Well, firstly, I tend to end up with bisexual women and if they get the itch for a fellow female there is little that I can do to deliver.

Other than that:

- cheating usually happens if there are already some problem within the relationship and once they are out in the open you can start working on them. There always come a chance with it.

- every sex with another person is different and we always will learn something new. Either in the form of techniques or about ourselves. this can be brought back into the relationship

- sometimes you just need a different tase. Just as with food.

- it might allow you appreciate what you've got if realize that the fantasy you might have of others doesn't have to to do anything with reality

The problem with cheating is usually twofold. Hurt ego and loss of trust.

The ego thing indicates a potential weakness of the person who gets upset.

The trust issue is more severe since relationships are always founded on trust. That's why I draw the line when it comes to lying and not the hurt ego part.


Do you have threesomes with them? Why do you end up with mostly bisexual women?


Since I never made it into a relationship, no but it has been offered to me multiple times so far.

I don't know why. Might be a general vibe for I also have been approach by some homosexual men who asked if I'd like to have sex with them.


Why would you need to be in a relationship to have sex as a threesome? Do you hold out for sex until you are in one? I know Cap Venus is traditional, but I wasn't thinking THAT traditional. I understand cultures vary.


No, I just wasn't interested in it the majority of the times.

The other cases were simply traps where the women wanted to see how I react to that.

In general I wouldn't have a threesome with persons I don't know or have feelings for in some form. I think that would be the main obstacle.


I understand this completely. I used to tell my ex, the only way I would ever have a threesome is if I didn't love him anymore 🙂

I agree with the reasons to cheat too, they were very "curiosity" related lol


I could have threesomes while still loving that person.

I would just need to know, like and have some feelings for the third person.


Oh wow. I would never be able to do this. I would be too jealous! I would lie and say it was ok if it was really something you would want to do-if you pressured me, then I would hate you after lol I don't share very well 😢

I guess it can be an advantage to you getting bi woman.


And here I was thinking that you were a Sag......


Lol. You already know I’m too possessive. I can be open minded but not when it comes to sex and sharing.

OMG to hear the noises and shyt she would make while my man is doing the same things to her that he does to me, will get both of them killed lol.

It would just have to be a fantasy the you can fulfill without me knowing 🙈🙊


Why would if affect you so much?


Because you just said it yourself. You would have to have feelings for the other person to do it.

I thought about it and would be able to go to a brothel and watch you have a threesome. But the girls would have to be strangers to you and I know you probably wouldn’t go down on them or kiss them. Lol. I would be able to watch then, but not participate.

True story- Me and my Ex Gemini went to a nudist resort. He was only allowed to get his eggplant sucked. He couldn’t kiss or have sex with anyone. I told him that if someone wanted to do that to be, it would need to be fine for him too. Lol

Long story short, we had sex in front of other people but didn’t participate in outside relations at all. It did bring us closer cause he knew I wasn’t influenced by the ideas of cheating, even openly.


Okay, but it's not like you lose anything. Quite the opposite. It adds something to it.

Why do you find it so threatening if your SO has feelings for someone else?


Because I’m selfish and only want him to love me like I love him. If he has deep feelings for me, then why would those feelings extend to someone else. It would make them seem false. I’m very all or nothing, so if you love me, then it can only be me. (As far as a partner).


So feelings are only true if they are limited to you?

It depends on the persons. Some reltionships might not work but start working if you add a third elemt etc.

As usual: it depends.
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No, but I don't want to share my partner with someone else. I like being secure in love. People love friends and family different then they love their partner. I need that difference to only be connected to me. I don't want him to love someone else as deeply, or be "In love" with another person.

I've loved 2 men at the same time before, because I can compartmentalize love. But I wasn't IN LOVE with either of them. When I'm in love, I commit myself fully to the person I've invested in.

I've never known a man that was in love with 2 women at the same time, so I can't comment on how that would work. But I would be too hurt by that to even deal with it. I would always look and try and see who is favored, and be mad if it wasn't me. 😛 I just like my heart being safe and secure with the person I'm with.